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Things I don’t like about FB

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By *olgate OP   Man  over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Things I don't understand about Facebook....

1) Men pouting in photos, girls look ridiculous enough, but lads....fucking stop it. You all need a donkey punch.

2) Girls with Ming from Flash Gordon eyebrows. Eyebrows are meant to deflect water from your eyes, they are NOT supposed to have corners or be two inches thick....

3) People who write billy big bollocks statuses like...."to the man in the shop who just stood on my toe, it's a good job u had ur kids with u or I'd have knocked u out!" Or "to the woman in the green corsa who cut me up earlier then smiled at me at the lights, it's a good job the lights changed cos I was gonna get out and kick u square in the minge!".... Firstly they won't see that status because you don’t know them, secondly, why are you making out like you’d show any aggression towards them? You clearly said absolutely nothing to them, then ran home to write a status about what you would have done if you had some bollocks....

4) 30+ year old men describing good things as "sick"... Grow the fuck up...

5) Young people using Americanisms, like.. "We got a cab home and made out.." No mate, you fingered her in a taxi and that was probably because she was tanked off her tits on WDK and Jagermister slammers....

6) "New hair" posts...it’s not fucking new hair, it's your same old hair just shorter and laced with chemicals to make it the same colour as whichever pretty celeb you’re trying to copy... And by the way, she looks nice with red hair...you look like a minging tool.

7) Overnight nutritionists...I'm glad you recently discovered health and fitness 4 months ago, but knowing that chicken and rice is good clean food, doesn't mean you should post pics of your 8 prepped meals online every morning and preach how we should all be eating just that. Some of us like beer and pizza thanks! Fuck off!!

8) People who post updates like "what time does the co-op open?" You clearly have internet access... Google it you fucking cabbage!!!

9) THIS!!!! ………………….Status: "completely devastated"

What's up babe?

U ok Hun?

What's happened?

"I've inboxed you...."

You knob....that’s all.

10) Pics of girls legs in the bath, just short of their tuppence...just pack it in, you attention seeking wasters. The post isn't about… "peace at last"... It's about, "I'm naked and gagging for cock, inbox me".

11) People liking their own posts, WHAT? Afraid that if you don’t nobody else will or are you desperately trying to highlight your own vacuous vapid limp post you oxygen thief

12) People that post long videos to your timeline. I have to say goodbye to my mobile data to watch a video someone else thought I’d find amusing. For the record, they were wrong (and now I’m low on data). Cockwombles!

13) Being added to a group on Facebook without your permission. Because we don’t get enough of that with fucking Whatsapp do we? Just bloody stop it, don’t add me to something you feel strongly about (and wrongly assume I will too). As hard as it may be for your Neanderthal porridge brain to grasp but I can make my own informed choices about FB groups. Lezzer Vegans Against Trump or Handicapped Kittens Hate Scary Cucumbers may not be my first post of call!

14) Fake introverts. (aka spunktrumpets) People that post updates regularly on how proud they are to be antisocial but make every one of their posts public. Telling people how you don’t like people (every few sodding hours) while on social media is a little fucking ironic don’t you think, and don’t you dare like it as well!

15) Random friend requests. Enough already, especially from people whom you’ve never met, never seen, never spoken to, but share one mutual friend with. Threw a party once, invited all my friends thinking as friends they would all get on with each other, it was carnage, a social fuck bucket of a faux par, do not think I will like you because we share one vaguely familiar distant friend, go outside, get a real one you loser!

16) Grammer Natzi’s, phuck u!

17) Miserable expats. When someone has emigrated but finds the time to post links to every bit of negative news they can find happening in the country they left. And then tag numerous people still living in the country with “have you SEEN this”. Yes I fucking have and probably way before you, you left, suck it up buttercup and fuck off!

18) Brexit bemoaners, we voted, you lost, shut the fuck up, incidentally, Britain will grow faster than any other major advanced economy over the next three decades as the EU’s share of global output diminishes, according to all major experts, stick that in your doom mongering, we are all going to hell in a shit sack, woe is us pipe and smoke it.

19) Kittens, just go do one!

20) Fuckwits and tosspots who complain about FB on FUCKING FB! Oxymoron

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No way you are my long lost twin ha ! My faves being I know most of you won’t read this but I know who will if you know someone who’s died from cancer please like and share ! Just fuck off ! I have to take monthly hiatuses every 6 months to stop myself from jumping in the river ! Top work fella

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By *WKinkMan  over a year ago

Bury

You do know that FB isn’t compulsory right!

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By *iss SJWoman  over a year ago

Hull


"Things I don't understand about Facebook....

1) Men pouting in photos, girls look ridiculous enough, but lads....fucking stop it. You all need a donkey punch.

2) Girls with Ming from Flash Gordon eyebrows. Eyebrows are meant to deflect water from your eyes, they are NOT supposed to have corners or be two inches thick....

3) People who write billy big bollocks statuses like...."to the man in the shop who just stood on my toe, it's a good job u had ur kids with u or I'd have knocked u out!" Or "to the woman in the green corsa who cut me up earlier then smiled at me at the lights, it's a good job the lights changed cos I was gonna get out and kick u square in the minge!".... Firstly they won't see that status because you don’t know them, secondly, why are you making out like you’d show any aggression towards them? You clearly said absolutely nothing to them, then ran home to write a status about what you would have done if you had some bollocks....

4) 30+ year old men describing good things as "sick"... Grow the fuck up...

5) Young people using Americanisms, like.. "We got a cab home and made out.." No mate, you fingered her in a taxi and that was probably because she was tanked off her tits on WDK and Jagermister slammers....

6) "New hair" posts...it’s not fucking new hair, it's your same old hair just shorter and laced with chemicals to make it the same colour as whichever pretty celeb you’re trying to copy... And by the way, she looks nice with red hair...you look like a minging tool.

7) Overnight nutritionists...I'm glad you recently discovered health and fitness 4 months ago, but knowing that chicken and rice is good clean food, doesn't mean you should post pics of your 8 prepped meals online every morning and preach how we should all be eating just that. Some of us like beer and pizza thanks! Fuck off!!

8) People who post updates like "what time does the co-op open?" You clearly have internet access... Google it you fucking cabbage!!!

9) THIS!!!! ………………….Status: "completely devastated"

What's up babe?

U ok Hun?

What's happened?

"I've inboxed you...."

You knob....that’s all.

10) Pics of girls legs in the bath, just short of their tuppence...just pack it in, you attention seeking wasters. The post isn't about… "peace at last"... It's about, "I'm naked and gagging for cock, inbox me".

11) People liking their own posts, WHAT? Afraid that if you don’t nobody else will or are you desperately trying to highlight your own vacuous vapid limp post you oxygen thief

12) People that post long videos to your timeline. I have to say goodbye to my mobile data to watch a video someone else thought I’d find amusing. For the record, they were wrong (and now I’m low on data). Cockwombles!

13) Being added to a group on Facebook without your permission. Because we don’t get enough of that with fucking Whatsapp do we? Just bloody stop it, don’t add me to something you feel strongly about (and wrongly assume I will too). As hard as it may be for your Neanderthal porridge brain to grasp but I can make my own informed choices about FB groups. Lezzer Vegans Against Trump or Handicapped Kittens Hate Scary Cucumbers may not be my first post of call!

14) Fake introverts. (aka spunktrumpets) People that post updates regularly on how proud they are to be antisocial but make every one of their posts public. Telling people how you don’t like people (every few sodding hours) while on social media is a little fucking ironic don’t you think, and don’t you dare like it as well!

15) Random friend requests. Enough already, especially from people whom you’ve never met, never seen, never spoken to, but share one mutual friend with. Threw a party once, invited all my friends thinking as friends they would all get on with each other, it was carnage, a social fuck bucket of a faux par, do not think I will like you because we share one vaguely familiar distant friend, go outside, get a real one you loser!

16) Grammer Natzi’s, phuck u!

17) Miserable expats. When someone has emigrated but finds the time to post links to every bit of negative news they can find happening in the country they left. And then tag numerous people still living in the country with “have you SEEN this”. Yes I fucking have and probably way before you, you left, suck it up buttercup and fuck off!

18) Brexit bemoaners, we voted, you lost, shut the fuck up, incidentally, Britain will grow faster than any other major advanced economy over the next three decades as the EU’s share of global output diminishes, according to all major experts, stick that in your doom mongering, we are all going to hell in a shit sack, woe is us pipe and smoke it.

19) Kittens, just go do one!

20) Fuckwits and tosspots who complain about FB on FUCKING FB! Oxymoron"

Just deleting my friend request to you now

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

All the above is why I deleted my FB account 7 years ago.....it's fuckin shite

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By *entralscotscpl7Couple  over a year ago

Falkirk


"Things I don't understand about Facebook....

1) Men pouting in photos, girls look ridiculous enough, but lads....fucking stop it. You all need a donkey punch.

2) Girls with Ming from Flash Gordon eyebrows. Eyebrows are meant to deflect water from your eyes, they are NOT supposed to have corners or be two inches thick....

3) People who write billy big bollocks statuses like...."to the man in the shop who just stood on my toe, it's a good job u had ur kids with u or I'd have knocked u out!" Or "to the woman in the green corsa who cut me up earlier then smiled at me at the lights, it's a good job the lights changed cos I was gonna get out and kick u square in the minge!".... Firstly they won't see that status because you don’t know them, secondly, why are you making out like you’d show any aggression towards them? You clearly said absolutely nothing to them, then ran home to write a status about what you would have done if you had some bollocks....

4) 30+ year old men describing good things as "sick"... Grow the fuck up...

5) Young people using Americanisms, like.. "We got a cab home and made out.." No mate, you fingered her in a taxi and that was probably because she was tanked off her tits on WDK and Jagermister slammers....

6) "New hair" posts...it’s not fucking new hair, it's your same old hair just shorter and laced with chemicals to make it the same colour as whichever pretty celeb you’re trying to copy... And by the way, she looks nice with red hair...you look like a minging tool.

7) Overnight nutritionists...I'm glad you recently discovered health and fitness 4 months ago, but knowing that chicken and rice is good clean food, doesn't mean you should post pics of your 8 prepped meals online every morning and preach how we should all be eating just that. Some of us like beer and pizza thanks! Fuck off!!

8) People who post updates like "what time does the co-op open?" You clearly have internet access... Google it you fucking cabbage!!!

9) THIS!!!! ………………….Status: "completely devastated"

What's up babe?

U ok Hun?

What's happened?

"I've inboxed you...."

You knob....that’s all.

10) Pics of girls legs in the bath, just short of their tuppence...just pack it in, you attention seeking wasters. The post isn't about… "peace at last"... It's about, "I'm naked and gagging for cock, inbox me".

11) People liking their own posts, WHAT? Afraid that if you don’t nobody else will or are you desperately trying to highlight your own vacuous vapid limp post you oxygen thief

12) People that post long videos to your timeline. I have to say goodbye to my mobile data to watch a video someone else thought I’d find amusing. For the record, they were wrong (and now I’m low on data). Cockwombles!

13) Being added to a group on Facebook without your permission. Because we don’t get enough of that with fucking Whatsapp do we? Just bloody stop it, don’t add me to something you feel strongly about (and wrongly assume I will too). As hard as it may be for your Neanderthal porridge brain to grasp but I can make my own informed choices about FB groups. Lezzer Vegans Against Trump or Handicapped Kittens Hate Scary Cucumbers may not be my first post of call!

14) Fake introverts. (aka spunktrumpets) People that post updates regularly on how proud they are to be antisocial but make every one of their posts public. Telling people how you don’t like people (every few sodding hours) while on social media is a little fucking ironic don’t you think, and don’t you dare like it as well!

15) Random friend requests. Enough already, especially from people whom you’ve never met, never seen, never spoken to, but share one mutual friend with. Threw a party once, invited all my friends thinking as friends they would all get on with each other, it was carnage, a social fuck bucket of a faux par, do not think I will like you because we share one vaguely familiar distant friend, go outside, get a real one you loser!

16) Grammer Natzi’s, phuck u!

17) Miserable expats. When someone has emigrated but finds the time to post links to every bit of negative news they can find happening in the country they left. And then tag numerous people still living in the country with “have you SEEN this”. Yes I fucking have and probably way before you, you left, suck it up buttercup and fuck off!

18) Brexit bemoaners, we voted, you lost, shut the fuck up, incidentally, Britain will grow faster than any other major advanced economy over the next three decades as the EU’s share of global output diminishes, according to all major experts, stick that in your doom mongering, we are all going to hell in a shit sack, woe is us pipe and smoke it.

19) Kittens, just go do one!

20) Fuckwits and tosspots who complain about FB on FUCKING FB! Oxymoron"

Brilliant. Were is the high five emoji

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I take it you don’t like Facebook. I was going to send you some kitten videos x

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By *r MoriartyMan  over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

I'm not on Facebook as I have no friends.

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By *TBSMan  over a year ago

close enough

Could be worse. They could post multiple photos of themselves in various types of headwear to appear playful and interesting.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

People who complain about Facebook on a swingers site. Yeah, them. Seriously dude, who still uses it, I’m not interested in seeing photos of peoples dinner, so I deleted it.

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By *elshsunsWoman  over a year ago

Flintshire

Hiliarious

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

There's more that I dislike than like about it. And that is why I left a long time ago.

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By *ove2flashCouple  over a year ago

bradford

Dog missing in New York . Shared Leeds . Wtf ?

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By *VineMan  over a year ago

The right place

I still have a fb account but I don’t use it.

I hate the echo chamber effect that it creates.

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By *ensuallover1000Man  over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

‘Hey I’m just about to take a shit - wish me luck lol’ *posts photo of toilet* (please, please leave me a like - I’m bloody desperate for some attention)

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

"when I see that bitch I'm going to give it her"

""Who's that hun,chick,sweety"

"Nobody"

Haaaaaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Dog missing in New York . Shared Leeds . Wtf ? "

Yeah they’re the best ! And kids that haven’t come home from school in 2 hrs ???

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Things I don't understand about Facebook....

1) Men pouting in photos, girls look ridiculous enough, but lads....fucking stop it. You all need a donkey punch.

2) Girls with Ming from Flash Gordon eyebrows. Eyebrows are meant to deflect water from your eyes, they are NOT supposed to have corners or be two inches thick....

3) People who write billy big bollocks statuses like...."to the man in the shop who just stood on my toe, it's a good job u had ur kids with u or I'd have knocked u out!" Or "to the woman in the green corsa who cut me up earlier then smiled at me at the lights, it's a good job the lights changed cos I was gonna get out and kick u square in the minge!".... Firstly they won't see that status because you don’t know them, secondly, why are you making out like you’d show any aggression towards them? You clearly said absolutely nothing to them, then ran home to write a status about what you would have done if you had some bollocks....

4) 30+ year old men describing good things as "sick"... Grow the fuck up...

5) Young people using Americanisms, like.. "We got a cab home and made out.." No mate, you fingered her in a taxi and that was probably because she was tanked off her tits on WDK and Jagermister slammers....

6) "New hair" posts...it’s not fucking new hair, it's your same old hair just shorter and laced with chemicals to make it the same colour as whichever pretty celeb you’re trying to copy... And by the way, she looks nice with red hair...you look like a minging tool.

7) Overnight nutritionists...I'm glad you recently discovered health and fitness 4 months ago, but knowing that chicken and rice is good clean food, doesn't mean you should post pics of your 8 prepped meals online every morning and preach how we should all be eating just that. Some of us like beer and pizza thanks! Fuck off!!

8) People who post updates like "what time does the co-op open?" You clearly have internet access... Google it you fucking cabbage!!!

9) THIS!!!! ………………….Status: "completely devastated"

What's up babe?

U ok Hun?

What's happened?

"I've inboxed you...."

You knob....that’s all.

10) Pics of girls legs in the bath, just short of their tuppence...just pack it in, you attention seeking wasters. The post isn't about… "peace at last"... It's about, "I'm naked and gagging for cock, inbox me".

11) People liking their own posts, WHAT? Afraid that if you don’t nobody else will or are you desperately trying to highlight your own vacuous vapid limp post you oxygen thief

12) People that post long videos to your timeline. I have to say goodbye to my mobile data to watch a video someone else thought I’d find amusing. For the record, they were wrong (and now I’m low on data). Cockwombles!

13) Being added to a group on Facebook without your permission. Because we don’t get enough of that with fucking Whatsapp do we? Just bloody stop it, don’t add me to something you feel strongly about (and wrongly assume I will too). As hard as it may be for your Neanderthal porridge brain to grasp but I can make my own informed choices about FB groups. Lezzer Vegans Against Trump or Handicapped Kittens Hate Scary Cucumbers may not be my first post of call!

14) Fake introverts. (aka spunktrumpets) People that post updates regularly on how proud they are to be antisocial but make every one of their posts public. Telling people how you don’t like people (every few sodding hours) while on social media is a little fucking ironic don’t you think, and don’t you dare like it as well!

15) Random friend requests. Enough already, especially from people whom you’ve never met, never seen, never spoken to, but share one mutual friend with. Threw a party once, invited all my friends thinking as friends they would all get on with each other, it was carnage, a social fuck bucket of a faux par, do not think I will like you because we share one vaguely familiar distant friend, go outside, get a real one you loser!

16) Grammer Natzi’s, phuck u!

17) Miserable expats. When someone has emigrated but finds the time to post links to every bit of negative news they can find happening in the country they left. And then tag numerous people still living in the country with “have you SEEN this”. Yes I fucking have and probably way before you, you left, suck it up buttercup and fuck off!

18) Brexit bemoaners, we voted, you lost, shut the fuck up, incidentally, Britain will grow faster than any other major advanced economy over the next three decades as the EU’s share of global output diminishes, according to all major experts, stick that in your doom mongering, we are all going to hell in a shit sack, woe is us pipe and smoke it.

19) Kittens, just go do one!

20) Fuckwits and tosspots who complain about FB on FUCKING FB! Oxymoron"

All of these happen on here too

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By *hechapMan  over a year ago

Derry

And if someone took a shit everyone would like it.

Its full of attention seekers.

Facebook is for information gathering on people.

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By *eliciousladyWoman  over a year ago

Sometimes U.K


"Dog missing in New York . Shared Leeds . Wtf ? "

That’s funny

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By *tingly ByronMan  over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

That's very funny.

What's Facebook though?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Dog missing in New York . Shared Leeds . Wtf ? "

And turns out the dog was found 3 yrs ago

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By *olgate OP   Man  over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Princess Di was going to expose chemtrails

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

To the original poster these are the very reasons i do not and will never have a bookface profile

Oh i spat all over my phone whilst reading your opening post

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Things I don't understand about Facebook....

1) Men pouting in photos, girls look ridiculous enough, but lads....fucking stop it. You all need a donkey punch.

2) Girls with Ming from Flash Gordon eyebrows. Eyebrows are meant to deflect water from your eyes, they are NOT supposed to have corners or be two inches thick....

3) People who write billy big bollocks statuses like...."to the man in the shop who just stood on my toe, it's a good job u had ur kids with u or I'd have knocked u out!" Or "to the woman in the green corsa who cut me up earlier then smiled at me at the lights, it's a good job the lights changed cos I was gonna get out and kick u square in the minge!".... Firstly they won't see that status because you don’t know them, secondly, why are you making out like you’d show any aggression towards them? You clearly said absolutely nothing to them, then ran home to write a status about what you would have done if you had some bollocks....

4) 30+ year old men describing good things as "sick"... Grow the fuck up...

5) Young people using Americanisms, like.. "We got a cab home and made out.." No mate, you fingered her in a taxi and that was probably because she was tanked off her tits on WDK and Jagermister slammers....

6) "New hair" posts...it’s not fucking new hair, it's your same old hair just shorter and laced with chemicals to make it the same colour as whichever pretty celeb you’re trying to copy... And by the way, she looks nice with red hair...you look like a minging tool.

7) Overnight nutritionists...I'm glad you recently discovered health and fitness 4 months ago, but knowing that chicken and rice is good clean food, doesn't mean you should post pics of your 8 prepped meals online every morning and preach how we should all be eating just that. Some of us like beer and pizza thanks! Fuck off!!

8) People who post updates like "what time does the co-op open?" You clearly have internet access... Google it you fucking cabbage!!!

9) THIS!!!! ………………….Status: "completely devastated"

What's up babe?

U ok Hun?

What's happened?

"I've inboxed you...."

You knob....that’s all.

10) Pics of girls legs in the bath, just short of their tuppence...just pack it in, you attention seeking wasters. The post isn't about… "peace at last"... It's about, "I'm naked and gagging for cock, inbox me".

11) People liking their own posts, WHAT? Afraid that if you don’t nobody else will or are you desperately trying to highlight your own vacuous vapid limp post you oxygen thief

12) People that post long videos to your timeline. I have to say goodbye to my mobile data to watch a video someone else thought I’d find amusing. For the record, they were wrong (and now I’m low on data). Cockwombles!

13) Being added to a group on Facebook without your permission. Because we don’t get enough of that with fucking Whatsapp do we? Just bloody stop it, don’t add me to something you feel strongly about (and wrongly assume I will too). As hard as it may be for your Neanderthal porridge brain to grasp but I can make my own informed choices about FB groups. Lezzer Vegans Against Trump or Handicapped Kittens Hate Scary Cucumbers may not be my first post of call!

14) Fake introverts. (aka spunktrumpets) People that post updates regularly on how proud they are to be antisocial but make every one of their posts public. Telling people how you don’t like people (every few sodding hours) while on social media is a little fucking ironic don’t you think, and don’t you dare like it as well!

15) Random friend requests. Enough already, especially from people whom you’ve never met, never seen, never spoken to, but share one mutual friend with. Threw a party once, invited all my friends thinking as friends they would all get on with each other, it was carnage, a social fuck bucket of a faux par, do not think I will like you because we share one vaguely familiar distant friend, go outside, get a real one you loser!

16) Grammer Natzi’s, phuck u!

17) Miserable expats. When someone has emigrated but finds the time to post links to every bit of negative news they can find happening in the country they left. And then tag numerous people still living in the country with “have you SEEN this”. Yes I fucking have and probably way before you, you left, suck it up buttercup and fuck off!

18) Brexit bemoaners, we voted, you lost, shut the fuck up, incidentally, Britain will grow faster than any other major advanced economy over the next three decades as the EU’s share of global output diminishes, according to all major experts, stick that in your doom mongering, we are all going to hell in a shit sack, woe is us pipe and smoke it.

19) Kittens, just go do one!

20) Fuckwits and tosspots who complain about FB on FUCKING FB! Oxymoron"

Haha. All of them but 3 and 9 in particularly!!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm fortunate that I mostly have adults on my Facebook and we use it to stay in touch.

I do love a game of Scrabble as well, even though I think some people cheat.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Things I don't understand about Facebook....

1) Men pouting in photos, girls look ridiculous enough, but lads....fucking stop it. You all need a donkey punch.

2) Girls with Ming from Flash Gordon eyebrows. Eyebrows are meant to deflect water from your eyes, they are NOT supposed to have corners or be two inches thick....

3) People who write billy big bollocks statuses like...."to the man in the shop who just stood on my toe, it's a good job u had ur kids with u or I'd have knocked u out!" Or "to the woman in the green corsa who cut me up earlier then smiled at me at the lights, it's a good job the lights changed cos I was gonna get out and kick u square in the minge!".... Firstly they won't see that status because you don’t know them, secondly, why are you making out like you’d show any aggression towards them? You clearly said absolutely nothing to them, then ran home to write a status about what you would have done if you had some bollocks....

4) 30+ year old men describing good things as "sick"... Grow the fuck up...

5) Young people using Americanisms, like.. "We got a cab home and made out.." No mate, you fingered her in a taxi and that was probably because she was tanked off her tits on WDK and Jagermister slammers....

6) "New hair" posts...it’s not fucking new hair, it's your same old hair just shorter and laced with chemicals to make it the same colour as whichever pretty celeb you’re trying to copy... And by the way, she looks nice with red hair...you look like a minging tool.

7) Overnight nutritionists...I'm glad you recently discovered health and fitness 4 months ago, but knowing that chicken and rice is good clean food, doesn't mean you should post pics of your 8 prepped meals online every morning and preach how we should all be eating just that. Some of us like beer and pizza thanks! Fuck off!!

8) People who post updates like "what time does the co-op open?" You clearly have internet access... Google it you fucking cabbage!!!

9) THIS!!!! ………………….Status: "completely devastated"

What's up babe?

U ok Hun?

What's happened?

"I've inboxed you...."

You knob....that’s all.

10) Pics of girls legs in the bath, just short of their tuppence...just pack it in, you attention seeking wasters. The post isn't about… "peace at last"... It's about, "I'm naked and gagging for cock, inbox me".

11) People liking their own posts, WHAT? Afraid that if you don’t nobody else will or are you desperately trying to highlight your own vacuous vapid limp post you oxygen thief

12) People that post long videos to your timeline. I have to say goodbye to my mobile data to watch a video someone else thought I’d find amusing. For the record, they were wrong (and now I’m low on data). Cockwombles!

13) Being added to a group on Facebook without your permission. Because we don’t get enough of that with fucking Whatsapp do we? Just bloody stop it, don’t add me to something you feel strongly about (and wrongly assume I will too). As hard as it may be for your Neanderthal porridge brain to grasp but I can make my own informed choices about FB groups. Lezzer Vegans Against Trump or Handicapped Kittens Hate Scary Cucumbers may not be my first post of call!

14) Fake introverts. (aka spunktrumpets) People that post updates regularly on how proud they are to be antisocial but make every one of their posts public. Telling people how you don’t like people (every few sodding hours) while on social media is a little fucking ironic don’t you think, and don’t you dare like it as well!

15) Random friend requests. Enough already, especially from people whom you’ve never met, never seen, never spoken to, but share one mutual friend with. Threw a party once, invited all my friends thinking as friends they would all get on with each other, it was carnage, a social fuck bucket of a faux par, do not think I will like you because we share one vaguely familiar distant friend, go outside, get a real one you loser!

16) Grammer Natzi’s, phuck u!

17) Miserable expats. When someone has emigrated but finds the time to post links to every bit of negative news they can find happening in the country they left. And then tag numerous people still living in the country with “have you SEEN this”. Yes I fucking have and probably way before you, you left, suck it up buttercup and fuck off!

18) Brexit bemoaners, we voted, you lost, shut the fuck up, incidentally, Britain will grow faster than any other major advanced economy over the next three decades as the EU’s share of global output diminishes, according to all major experts, stick that in your doom mongering, we are all going to hell in a shit sack, woe is us pipe and smoke it.

19) Kittens, just go do one!

20) Fuckwits and tosspots who complain about FB on FUCKING FB! Oxymoron

Haha. All of them but 3 and 9 in particularly!!!"

And 21. Checking in at the hospital !

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Things I don't understand about Facebook....

1) Men pouting in photos, girls look ridiculous enough, but lads....fucking stop it. You all need a donkey punch.

2) Girls with Ming from Flash Gordon eyebrows. Eyebrows are meant to deflect water from your eyes, they are NOT supposed to have corners or be two inches thick....

3) People who write billy big bollocks statuses like...."to the man in the shop who just stood on my toe, it's a good job u had ur kids with u or I'd have knocked u out!" Or "to the woman in the green corsa who cut me up earlier then smiled at me at the lights, it's a good job the lights changed cos I was gonna get out and kick u square in the minge!".... Firstly they won't see that status because you don’t know them, secondly, why are you making out like you’d show any aggression towards them? You clearly said absolutely nothing to them, then ran home to write a status about what you would have done if you had some bollocks....

4) 30+ year old men describing good things as "sick"... Grow the fuck up...

5) Young people using Americanisms, like.. "We got a cab home and made out.." No mate, you fingered her in a taxi and that was probably because she was tanked off her tits on WDK and Jagermister slammers....

6) "New hair" posts...it’s not fucking new hair, it's your same old hair just shorter and laced with chemicals to make it the same colour as whichever pretty celeb you’re trying to copy... And by the way, she looks nice with red hair...you look like a minging tool.

7) Overnight nutritionists...I'm glad you recently discovered health and fitness 4 months ago, but knowing that chicken and rice is good clean food, doesn't mean you should post pics of your 8 prepped meals online every morning and preach how we should all be eating just that. Some of us like beer and pizza thanks! Fuck off!!

8) People who post updates like "what time does the co-op open?" You clearly have internet access... Google it you fucking cabbage!!!

9) THIS!!!! ………………….Status: "completely devastated"

What's up babe?

U ok Hun?

What's happened?

"I've inboxed you...."

You knob....that’s all.

10) Pics of girls legs in the bath, just short of their tuppence...just pack it in, you attention seeking wasters. The post isn't about… "peace at last"... It's about, "I'm naked and gagging for cock, inbox me".

11) People liking their own posts, WHAT? Afraid that if you don’t nobody else will or are you desperately trying to highlight your own vacuous vapid limp post you oxygen thief

12) People that post long videos to your timeline. I have to say goodbye to my mobile data to watch a video someone else thought I’d find amusing. For the record, they were wrong (and now I’m low on data). Cockwombles!

13) Being added to a group on Facebook without your permission. Because we don’t get enough of that with fucking Whatsapp do we? Just bloody stop it, don’t add me to something you feel strongly about (and wrongly assume I will too). As hard as it may be for your Neanderthal porridge brain to grasp but I can make my own informed choices about FB groups. Lezzer Vegans Against Trump or Handicapped Kittens Hate Scary Cucumbers may not be my first post of call!

14) Fake introverts. (aka spunktrumpets) People that post updates regularly on how proud they are to be antisocial but make every one of their posts public. Telling people how you don’t like people (every few sodding hours) while on social media is a little fucking ironic don’t you think, and don’t you dare like it as well!

15) Random friend requests. Enough already, especially from people whom you’ve never met, never seen, never spoken to, but share one mutual friend with. Threw a party once, invited all my friends thinking as friends they would all get on with each other, it was carnage, a social fuck bucket of a faux par, do not think I will like you because we share one vaguely familiar distant friend, go outside, get a real one you loser!

16) Grammer Natzi’s, phuck u!

17) Miserable expats. When someone has emigrated but finds the time to post links to every bit of negative news they can find happening in the country they left. And then tag numerous people still living in the country with “have you SEEN this”. Yes I fucking have and probably way before you, you left, suck it up buttercup and fuck off!

18) Brexit bemoaners, we voted, you lost, shut the fuck up, incidentally, Britain will grow faster than any other major advanced economy over the next three decades as the EU’s share of global output diminishes, according to all major experts, stick that in your doom mongering, we are all going to hell in a shit sack, woe is us pipe and smoke it.

19) Kittens, just go do one!

20) Fuckwits and tosspots who complain about FB on FUCKING FB! Oxymoron"

Probably my favourite forum post ever!! It was, for all the reasons above and more, that i deleted my account over a month ago... and I don't miss it either.. not one teeny tiny bit

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

All mildly irritating but easily avoided

Sick post though fam

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By *olgate OP   Man  over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

No I don’t know the council phone number to complain about someone lighting a bonfire at 11am

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By *umpsimusMan  over a year ago

Camberley

Jesus, why stop at 20?

You were obviously on a roll

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My Facebook account is currently deactivated ... It was getting right on my tits with the bullshit listed and pics of the little darlings in school uniforms

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"All mildly irritating but easily avoided

Sick post though fam"

Fo shizzle.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/09/18 20:46:23]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I give good FB, I get good FB. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but for me it’s a nice bit of fun still.

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By *olgate OP   Man  over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular


"My Facebook account is currently deactivated ... It was getting right on my tits with the bullshit listed and pics of the little darlings in school uniforms "

It was the pics of the queues outside the uniform shops that fucked me off

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My Facebook account is currently deactivated ... It was getting right on my tits with the bullshit listed and pics of the little darlings in school uniforms

It was the pics of the queues outside the uniform shops that fucked me off"

Man you need to select your fab friends more carefully!

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By *cousesubsallyWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere out there

U ok Hun? Inbox me...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Never had it, dont want it either... or Twitter or any other form of social media

Just delete it

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman  over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows


"Dog missing in New York . Shared Leeds . Wtf ? "

My friend shared a dog found post yesterday... Even I thought it was mine.

Till I checked to original poster.

Missouri!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's like anything, just use it as you want.

I use it for sports and keeping in touch...the rest I just skim or unfollow.

No big deal and no drama.

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By *oachman 9CoolMan  over a year ago

derby


" It's like anything, just use it as you want.

I use it for sports and keeping in touch...the rest I just skim or unfollow.

No big deal and no drama."

Thats the thing with fab its full of drama..

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By *risky_MareWoman  over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

But Facebook is only a function our who you choose to be on it - if it's full of shit, well then you choose shit!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Absolutley howling

Also dont have fb due to stuff like this hahahha

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By *olgate OP   Man  over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular


"U ok Hun? Inbox me..."
i don’t wanna talk about it ffs

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