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Film cliches
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My Favorite part of any film is when a kick ass motorcyclist takes off the helmet and.......it’s a woman !! WTF, no way man, she couldn’t control that hog ! Oh wow, she’s flicking her long hair around now, she’s wild and sexy too and yet she can’t be tamed and doesn’t live by the ‘rules’.
What film or TV cliches do you love or ones that annoy you ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The geeky girl gets a big makeover to attract the school hotty. Makeover consists of taking off her glasses and letting her hair down. "
Like we didn’t notice she was already hot when she was wearing glasses. I usually prefer them before when they were geeky ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh no this huge thing is falling over that I could totally get out of the way of by running sideways from it but I'd much rather try to out run the length of it... *giggedy* 
C |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If a woman has to run they do a close up shot that lingers on her (always large) bust bouncing. And then they pan to a bloke who’s watching her and he walks into a door/lampost/pothole or (if driving) crashes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People caught in an awkward situation that would take 5 seconds to explain but are never given the chance because the person who caught them refuses to listen.
Or the premise for most romcoms. |
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Action movie cliches from the 1980’s and 90’s: 1) The plot - the hero’s brother/best friend gets killed so quite rightly and subsequently much perturbed by this decidedly unsocial act, the said hero feels the overwhelming compunction to take revenge.
2) It is absolutely customary for the hero to subsequently get shot in the arm or shoulder during the finale.
3) If the aforementioned final involves a manly, mono et mono unarmed stand off (which is pretty much always) and a subsequent, extended hand to hand fight scene thus transpires, the hero is contractually obliged to get his arse kicked throughout....until that is, the synth soundtrack suddenly kicks in and he is miraculously re-empowered in a manner not unlike the rebirth of Lazarus, before he unleashes a glorious arse kicking of his own upon the villains’ miscreant arse (often in slow mo no less!)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In the days when censorship was ridiculously strict a close clinch was so often followed by a scene of waves crashing on the shore by which we were supposed to infer that they had sex. At least the scenes are more realistic these days |
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Horror movies cliches:
‘Let’s split up and search.’ - The said characters may just as well write, ‘Victim’ on their foreheads.
False jump scares: Remember, the first one is always a cat or something before the actual threat/killer leaps out afterwards.
Zombies are dead....their muscles are atrophied and by logic, they should thus be incredibly weak, yet they can seemingly rip a person up with the ease of a piece of paper. Hmmmm...
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Count Dracula - as portrayed in the classic Hammer films by the excellent, late Sir Christopher Lee:
Supposedly the most dangerous vampire of them all and yet, the poor bastard is allergic to seemingly everything bloody going! Sunlight, holy water, running water, garlic, crosses, hawthorn bushes, the bible (both the physical book and passages being read aloud from it), even silver!
Add to this, he’s also depicted as incredibly clumsy and thus we are left with much less a threat than a bloody liability!
Still love those wonderful movies though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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During every war movie ever
"Hey man, here's a picture of my pregnant girlfriend, can't wait to get home and meet my kid and marry her, buy a new house, maybe get a couple of dogs, I love her so much"
*immediately gets killed* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a fight and people exclusively throw right hooks as if the jab hasn't been invented yet"
And the hero gets beaten to within an inch of his life but still gets up to finish off the bad guy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The couch potato, heavy smoking,middle aged policeman manages to run around a busy city after an evil master criminal and not have a heart attack."
Bluey.....most won't remember this program |
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Matt Damon is one of the starts. Inevitably this means the rest will need to save him from some situation or another.
Another is the classic action sequence. 100's of enemy, thousands of rounds and not a sinkhole shot even remotely close to the target. But the good guy has marksmanship that would make the worlds greatest sniper blush in envy. |
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"It's a fight and people exclusively throw right hooks as if the jab hasn't been invented yet
And the hero gets beaten to within an inch of his life but still gets up to finish off the bad guy."
Also known as the John Cena effect |
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Bond films: Our intrepid hero is invariably captured at some point in every entry and seems doomed to some form of intricate yet grisly death but not before (of course) the main villain gives him a full and detailed run down on his nefarious master plan.
Bond then promptly escapes and armed with this hitherto unknown intelligence, is of course able to thwart it.
The moral here therefore for all aspiring future megalomaniacs: Keep thy gobs firmly shut! (or at least kill off any pesky British agent with a double ‘O’ prefix, promptly and without any further ado! |
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By *ogNMuseCouple
over a year ago
Surrey |
"Oh no this huge thing is falling over that I could totally get out of the way of by running sideways from it but I'd much rather try to out run the length of it... *giggedy*
C"
Prometheus! I think all those scientists on that ship were lobotomised in stasis. Ooooh look an alien snake thing I'll just see if wants petting... Not Ridley's finest moment!
And if you haven't seen it look up Rich Hall's Tom Cruise sketch |
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Infinite ammo capacity:
Ok, so our hero’s armed with a particular make of handgun that any astute gunsmith or else gun aficionado will tell you, can hold a maximum of about 15 or so rounds; Not in action flicks though! No, reloading is entirely optional as bullets must ostensibly magically refill the magazine from another dimension or something as they certainly never run out.
In fact, the only time the hero will attempt to reload is to show off for the camera as doing so looks really cool and manly in slow motion.
But wait! - Always be mindful when attempting to reload in an action movie as there is of course the other cliche, namely that if one takes out the magazine, there will be bizarrely (after all the aforementioned never ending bullet reserves that have been spent over the last hour or so) ONLY ONE BULLET left(!!!!) |
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"My Favorite part of any film is when a kick ass motorcyclist takes off the helmet and.......it’s a woman !! WTF, no way man, she couldn’t control that hog ! Oh wow, she’s flicking her long hair around now, she’s wild and sexy too and yet she can’t be tamed and doesn’t live by the ‘rules’.
What film or TV cliches do you love or ones that annoy you ? "
Not so common now but when ever one of a duo fell to the ground they could often been heard saying 'My leg, it's broken, go on without me'.
Not bad for a jeep that rolled down a ravine before bursting into flames. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Count Dracula - as portrayed in the classic Hammer films by the excellent, late Sir Christopher Lee:
Supposedly the most dangerous vampire of them all and yet, the poor bastard is allergic to seemingly everything bloody going! Sunlight, holy water, running water, garlic, crosses, hawthorn bushes, the bible (both the physical book and passages being read aloud from it), even silver!
Add to this, he’s also depicted as incredibly clumsy and thus we are left with much less a threat than a bloody liability!
Still love those wonderful movies though "
 |
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"Count Dracula - as portrayed in the classic Hammer films by the excellent, late Sir Christopher Lee:
Supposedly the most dangerous vampire of them all and yet, the poor bastard is allergic to seemingly everything bloody going! Sunlight, holy water, running water, garlic, crosses, hawthorn bushes, the bible (both the physical book and passages being read aloud from it), even silver!
Add to this, he’s also depicted as incredibly clumsy and thus we are left with much less a threat than a bloody liability!
Still love those wonderful movies though "
Great films.
Christopher lee got type-cast for Dracula
Made about several Dracula films
Think the last one was:
AD ‘72
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If you happen to find yourself as the hero in an action movie and are furthermore cornered by the villain and his henchmen whilst standing on an area of high altitude such as atop a tall building for instance, simply jump off it.
You will always find that your fall will be easily and safely broken by either:
a) A previously unseen body of water such as a fortuitously placed swimming pool (remember, there is no such phenomenon as water fall damage in a movie, even if you plummet thousands of feet) or
b) A passing, open topped lorry carrying soft furnishings.
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
Here's a few.
Any room in a large building can be accessed via air conditioning vents.
The martial arts skills of the baddies are always inversely proportional to the number of baddies on screen.(The fewer on screen the tougher they are)
When you clear out your desk you will only ever have 1 standard stationary box to walk out with. The box will always have a sports trophy and family pic sticking out of the top.
It doesn't matter where you normally store your badge and gun, when asked to hand it over it will always be in your right hand.
Aliens only ever attack the USA.
In a tight squeeze, the hero will always be able to find exactly what they need to get out of it.
No cars in films have engine immobiliser systems and can be hotwired by ragging cables out of the ignition.
American cars can go round corners.
People can have normal conversations on military flights.
People have phone coverage down mines
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When running through a jungle you will always come across a massive ravine and the the bridge across will be fucked.
Someone will think they can make it across, their leg will fall through the broken bridge slats. They will scream. Then someone will come and save them and throw them to safety using a long vine that just happened to be growing near the fucked up bridge.
The hero then ends up crashing into a rock face and then has to climb all the way to the top of the ravine, without even a sweat moustache to speak of. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh no this huge thing is falling over that I could totally get out of the way of by running sideways from it but I'd much rather try to out run the length of it... *giggedy*
C
Prometheus! I think all those scientists on that ship were lobotomised in stasis. Ooooh look an alien snake thing I'll just see if wants petting... Not Ridley's finest moment!
And if you haven't seen it look up Rich Hall's Tom Cruise sketch "
He’s a cocktail maker, a pretty good cocktail maker, till he has a crisis of confidence and can’t make cocktails any more, but he meets a good looking woman who talks him into being a better cocktail maker.
Then he’s a race car driver, pretty good race car driver.... |
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"Asa biker I can say it's no cliche. I know plenty of cute girl biker who ride Harley, Indians and big Japanese V-Twin thumpers.
"
Your right. Our friends have both got Harleys. When Pat wanted one for her birthday Mick bought her a sportster. She refused point blank and said she traded it in for another Electra Glide like Mick's.
I've been a pillion with her and she can fairly throw that thing about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In horror movies; they never turn on the lights, and screaming women usually run up the stairs instead of out the front door "
This 100%
I'm a bloke and can think of loads of horror movies where i would of been straight out of the front door |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Asa biker I can say it's no cliche. I know plenty of cute girl biker who ride Harley, Indians and big Japanese V-Twin thumpers.
"
Not the women riding the bike is a cliche, but how they play the scene like it’s a man and we’re supposed to be surprised, when it turns out to be a woman. Just to make sure we know, add hair swaying for added effect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh no this huge thing is falling over that I could totally get out of the way of by running sideways from it but I'd much rather try to out run the length of it... *giggedy*
C
Prometheus! I think all those scientists on that ship were lobotomised in stasis. Ooooh look an alien snake thing I'll just see if wants petting... Not Ridley's finest moment!
And if you haven't seen it look up Rich Hall's Tom Cruise sketch "
Lets just open this massive door to a helmet with legs. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Being an action hero means you're immediately able to drive, fly, ride and operate any vehicle to hand with skill and without any prior instruction/familiarisation time."
Yeah, you never see them just pressing random buttons and the windscreen wipers come on by mistake. |
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Cars in action films are always EXTREMELY flammable; So much so that one could be easily forgiven in assuming that the things come with built in Nitroglycerin technology as standard, hot off the assembly line.
Indeed, so volatile are said cars that even a slight knock to one of the doors can cause the whole bloody thing to blow sky high in a pyromaniac’s wet dream like display of flames and smoke. |
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1970’s-1980’s Horror movies: If you consume alcohol, partake of any form of drugs, have loose morals or God forbid, actually have sex(!!!!) then you will inevitably, shortly fall victim to the latest mask wearing, serial killing lunatic that all the kids are cheering for whilst they watch this flick on their VHS players at home. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Not quite a cliche but just about everyone in films has extremely strong bladders - it's very rare you see anyone caught short unless it's for comedic effect or a bad sentry about to get taken out while taking a leak |
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By *ky19Man
over a year ago
Plymouth OYO Hotel |
In horror films cars never start the one time you need them to. Or the killer dangles the keys having taken them.
When eating out, food is never finished.
The guy runs out into a super busy road in front of traffic, cars blaring horns.
In a truck collision, when the truck is coming and something is in its path, it never slams on brakes, or even slows down whatsoever, just blares its horn and steams straight through. |
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"In a car and have a narrow gap to fit through or a jump you need to make? If you're a good guy, go for it you'll make it every time - bad guy? Pull out, you'll crash and burn for sure!!"
Ha ha - so true and on a similar note; Westerns - Remember the golden rule; A good guys horse can easily jump over a chasm but bad guys horses always bottle out at the cliff edge at the very last second |
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Bomb defusal in movies:
Always remember that it is absolutely customary to wait until the timer has reached the very last second before cutting the correct wire and subsequently deactivating the offending explosive device.
Also pay special heed in the preceding moments to sweat profusely whilst you struggle to debate exactly which wire to cut. Remember to mop your brow frequently as you display increasingly anguished mannerisms during said time also and don’t forget to perform the obligatory, huge sigh before sitting back against the wall (lighting up a cigarette is an added bonus acting technique for the more hardcore actors) |
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"My Favorite part of any film is when a kick ass motorcyclist takes off the helmet and.......it’s a woman !! WTF, no way man, she couldn’t control that hog ! Oh wow, she’s flicking her long hair around now, she’s wild and sexy too and yet she can’t be tamed and doesn’t live by the ‘rules’.
"
Haha,I played that scene out when I was stopped for speeding on my bike, many moons ago! The copper was so shocked he let me off!   |
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Cliched Hollywood Villains - A ‘How to’ guide.
1: Villains are always played by Brits. Remember, we are bloody awesome at it. Also note that even if we’re playing a dictator from some Eastern state, there is no real need to learn any specific accent as the target audience are usually too thick to discern such lingual intricacies at any rate.
2: A main villains’ initial entrance into a movie is done in slow motion with the villain in the middle and his cronies walking to his sides whilst some ominous soundtrack plays in the background - this looks and sounds cool especially if everyone is wearing long, flowing coats.
3: All villains are psychopaths
so if playing one, be sure to sneer as much as possible whilst inserting as many cringeworthy and inappropriate jokes as you can whilst you kill off innocent extras.
4: The film will inevitably end with yourself and the hero facing off in a hand to hand duel to the death. Before you begin however, it is accepted Hollywood etiquette to talk bollocks for five minutes or so and mock the hero regarding killing off his buddy earlier in the film.
Also remember, despite being a y little shit and facing the hero played by some man mountain like The Rock, they will suddenly, entirely forget how to fight when it comes to it and you will be permitted thus to give them an initial good hiding.
However, pay extra heed to the sound department for when the soundtrack changes to a suddenly more rousing score, it means the hero is about to make a miraculous comeback and wipe the floor with you.
At this point therefore it might be judicious to high-tale it out of there.
This will have two immediate advantages, namely a) You’ll live and b) You can double your acting fee by returning in the movie’s sequel
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"Cars in action films are always EXTREMELY flammable; So much so that one could be easily forgiven in assuming that the things come with built in Nitroglycerin technology as standard, hot off the assembly line.
Indeed, so volatile are said cars that even a slight knock to one of the doors can cause the whole bloody thing to blow sky high in a pyromaniac’s wet dream like display of flames and smoke."
Your only supposed to blow the bloody doors off |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Bomb defusal in movies:
Always remember that it is absolutely customary to wait until the timer has reached the very last second before cutting the correct wire and subsequently deactivating the offending explosive device.
Also pay special heed in the preceding moments to sweat profusely whilst you struggle to debate exactly which wire to cut. Remember to mop your brow frequently as you display increasingly anguished mannerisms during said time also and don’t forget to perform the obligatory, huge sigh before sitting back against the wall (lighting up a cigarette is an added bonus acting technique for the more hardcore actors) "
On a similar note if bomb disposal is not an option - grab the device and run like crazy through crowds of people and for a prolonged period of time safe in the knowledge that you'll find a convenient and safe place to throw it immediately before it goes KABOOM!! |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"If you are "British" then you must talk like Hugh Grant/Dick van Dyke
No other accents exist
Oh apart from Brad Pitt in Snatch"
Or if you're Sean Connery you can be Russian, Spanish and many other nationalities and not have to change your accent |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"Detectives tasting blood then rubbing it between thumb and finger "
Police can always tell the purity of drugs by licking a sample off their fingers. And never get done by drug testing teams.. |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"Computer operators are all high speed touch typists. They have never used a mouse either."
Apart from Neo in the matrix. World renowned hacker. Only time you see him use a computer is when he is smashing the Esc key like a spazz. And the look of confusion on his face when the phone rings... priceless |
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When bad guys and villains are identified as such by having physical abnormalities or disabilities like a burnt face or a missing hand. It's so lazy. In reality some of the biggest shitbags are those who would be deemed as conventionally beautiful because they're able to entice their victims. |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"Bomb makers helpfully use a rainbow of coloured wires and always incorporate a visual timer.
They have apparently never heard of a collapsing circuit either. "
And the computer need on the end of th phone can tell them which wire to cut.. as if everyone uses the same bombmaking by numbers kit. |
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"Bomb makers helpfully use a rainbow of coloured wires and always incorporate a visual timer.
They have apparently never heard of a collapsing circuit either.
And the computer need on the end of th phone can tell them which wire to cut.. as if everyone uses the same bombmaking by numbers kit."
Same as James Bond films
Clock always seems to stop at 007 ‘s to go |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
Sporting characters at school. Boys only do football and girls can only ever get cast as cheer leaders.
Makes you wonder, how the story writers have managed to avoid any TV, newspapers, the Olympics for that matter.
Occasionally, there maybe a little ice hockey, basket ball or baseball.
Can't imagine an American version of Chariots of Fire.
Yes, I have seen Breaking Away and American Flyers. |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
Holding a pistol sideways on makes you 347% more accurate.
Creepy monsters all have an aura which affects torch batteries and mobile phone battery life.
Bad guys always monologue to give away dastardly plans.
Funerals only ever happen in bright sunshine or a torrential downpour. It will never be just slightly overcast.
Good guys never get prosecuted for what is essentially mass murder.
Nobody knows what happens to vehicles requisitioned by police/fbi/good guys. Apparently you can just about FBI and steal someone's car.
Computer passwords will either be ridiculously easy or completely unhackable with ridiculous encryption levels.
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Police and good guys shooting randomly down the street at a fleeing vehicle without any thought to passers-by.
A single bullet kills every baddie stone dead, no matter where it hits them.
However the goodie can take multiple rounds and continue to run, fight and generally exert themselves to no ill effect. |
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“Good guy”
Nearly any door can be opened by jamming a credit card into it
Or if crying baby or hostage situation heard from behind door, amazingly “good guy” can always bust door open in one go with a kick or shoulder charge. |
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