FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Would you date a single dad?

Would you date a single dad?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

I'll admit... it would be a bit depressing if she's right. Does anyone know the stats on single dads getting into new relationships? I can imagine it's easier for single mums. Sorry. Just a bit bummed out by it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm a single father and have had relationships.

There are understanding women out there

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sure, if I was single and liked them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

The lady saying that sounds to insecure that she has to challenge with a child for attention etc

Of course women date single dads its just a case of finding that lady who is the opposite of the lady mentioned in the OP

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would, I don't need to be the centre of anyone's universe but my own

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm a single dad, but to be fair I'm not looking for love. I'm after good times. With horny people. I hope that when I decide to look for love that any prospective partner would understand that my child comes first

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why would it be easier for single mums ?

I would if the guy was right for me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs("

She wasn't good enough for you. Don't let it bring you down! There are plenty of women who would a single dad. If I was looking for a guy a kid wouldn't put me off at all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As a single mum myself i would be more than likely to date a single dad as i feel they would be more understanding..

If i was single with no kids, then probably not

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think it’s the same for all single parents. Having been there (mine are adult now) I would say the right person/dating types will not place demands on you to put them at the centre of your universe, they will acknowledge and embrace the fact that you come as a package. I think it’s about acceptance and compromise.

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By *iss SJWoman over a year ago

Hull

I wouldn’t want to be with a single dad that didn’t put his kid/s at the centre of his universe. The ones that I know are great dads and I find it a very endearing quality.

I don’t have kids myself so I can be more flexible if someone does have them. Plus it gives me plenty of ’me’ time which I’m used to and enjoy.

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

Right, as much as people (myself included) want to be the centre of someone's universe you also need to be a realist!

If I care for someone I want to see them happy, and that means in every department. Parenting is the hardest job in the world, and being a support to your potential partner as far as making that job easier in my eyes should be paramount.

If the kids and them don't get on then yes, that could cause problems, but let's be honest, a man loving another human and wanting the best for them is beautiful.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

Most reasonable people, male or female, will appreciate that children will always come first to parents. Anyone who takes a different view is an egotistical tosser who should be dumped ASAP.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

Anybody who expects someone to put them before your child or even be equal to them for that matter isn’t worth it. I know people who have put a man/woman before their children and I will never ever understand that personally. I would be the opposite to be honest and think more of you for doing that.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

Sounds like she's a tactful woman!

But people without kids are going to prefer singles without on the whole, I think that's natural, it's a whole other dynamic to consider.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

She sounds a bit needy.

And yes I would if I was looking to date. Par for the course that people may have kids surely

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

Hear hear

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan over a year ago

Coventry

My woman is and we are very happy. If that gives you hope. But I must admit when both of you are single parents it does make things trickier.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When I was younger and child free, yes it would have put me off.

Now I'm older and have a child of my own, then I'd possibly date a single dad if I was looking. Depends if the dad is a twat or not.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No wonder i can't find a girlfriend

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm a single mum I think I'd prefer to date a single dad as they would unstand that my kids come first.....not that I'm ever going to get a date

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

I'm a single mum my child shares equal time between myself and her dad and I'm looking to spend time with someone preferably when she's not here. To be honest at my age I wouldn't want to date someone with young children as mine are mid teens now so have more time for myself.

It can be hard fitting in a new relationship around your children.

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By *onny69sMan over a year ago

Donny

I've had The same reaction from a few women. They put it mainly down to me having a young daughter. One even said that she wouldn't want to compete with her for affection ffs.

But on the other hand most women think that with being a fulltime single dad is an endearing quality so it's not all bad.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"But on the other hand most women think that with being a fulltime single dad is an endearing quality so it's not all bad. "

This.

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By *onny69sMan over a year ago

Donny

"But on the other hand most women think that with being a fulltime single dad is an endearing quality so it's not all bad.

This.

Just a pity I'm an old bald git that puts them off

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for the replies guys

Personally, I think I'm more than capable of making a woman feel like she's the centre of my romantic universe whilst also putting my little boy first. And I'd ideally love her to become the centre of a new family, perhaps even with her own child or, if she wants, our child. I'd love my little boy to have that. So I don't see the whole "I'd never be the centre of your universe" thing.

But if that's genuinely how women see it I guess it's better to know that ahead of time. But yes I think she was being a bit shitty and tactless. It's nice to know that there may be women out there who are more understanding and compassionate towards things. The forums are always a good tonic to one person's opinion, often revealing that's all it was. Thanks xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I was dating I’d prefer someone with kids as, generally, they understand the compromises that have to be made.

I would not generally be their first priority, they could not be mine.

I’m sure I’m not unique in thinking that way, so being a father will make you MORE appealing to some women.

I do remember being told by someone from here that having young kids meant that ‘men won’t want to date you’. He was a single dad whose kids were a whole three years older.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Preferably someone who doesn’t have kids but I would never rule out someone that does. Not idea for me and the lifestyle I like to live but maybe I would have to slow down a bit. I like to be spontaneous with festivals, Holidays and gigs etc. Hard to do when someone has children.

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By *irthandgirthMan over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

This is another one of the shallow hypocrisies in today's modern dating world. Into your 30s and onwards it is hard to find a new partner who doesn't have a past - either exes and/or children. Women on dating sites who have children always expect men to take them on as part and parcel (hate the term baggage). Which is absolutely correct. Dating someone means buying into all of their life, not just part of it. However i have seen many profiles saying that a lady wouldnt date a man with kids as its 'too much hard work.'

These are the kind of people I wouldn't want in my life. If the fact I have someone who it is my responsibility to care for is too much hard work, then where will they be when things actually get difficult? This is real life not some fantasy #instalife.

(I'm sure that many ladies in here would say that this holds true when looking at males)

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By *ittleAcornMan over a year ago

visiting the beach

If any family (which is ultimately what you are creating) has one person at the centre, it's doing it wrong!

I think most emotionally mature people get that. And parents know they are always second billing!

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS over a year ago

west here ford shire

Would you date a tv or ts?

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I think people are missing the point - in order for a relationship to work long term when someone has a child with them, it's not a question of 'Oh I'd expect him to put the child first' or 'Only a selfish bitch would complain about me wanting to put my child first'.....

In my opinion if you are going to make such a relationship work you have to LOVE THE CHILD, at least as much as the man, if not as much as your own.

What if you can't, or the child doesn't accept you? I know several people who's lives have been destroyed when years down the line they could not make it work, and so it's a huge ask in my opinion, and one which maybe people should take a bit more seriously before diving headlong in.

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Yes, of course. When you get to a certain age guys do sometimes come with kids.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would. Single parents are empathetic to each other's needs and challenges.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

One response is indicative of all women of course.

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By *inkylovers09Couple over a year ago

Hertfordshire

[Removed by poster at 10/09/18 13:15:50]

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By *inkylovers09Couple over a year ago

Hertfordshire

"I wouldn’t want to be with a single dad that didn’t put his kid/s at the centre of his universe. The ones that I know are great dads and I find it a very endearing quality.

I don’t have kids myself so I can be more flexible if someone does have them. Plus it gives me plenty of ’me’ time which I’m used to and enjoy. "

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I think people are missing the point - in order for a relationship to work long term when someone has a child with them, it's not a question of 'Oh I'd expect him to put the child first' or 'Only a selfish bitch would complain about me wanting to put my child first'.....

In my opinion if you are going to make such a relationship work you have to LOVE THE CHILD, at least as much as the man, if not as much as your own.

I agree that you need to consider the implications of a long term relationship with a single parent. The impact on the children is huge and can't be underestimated.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

So, yes, if I was single I would date a single dad but I would not go in to it lightly.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Watching the replies here carefully as this is me!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

Don't despair - I married my ex when he had been a widower for 5 years and had 2 teenagers in tow.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It’s not a situation i’ve been in yet, but never say never.

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By *pider-WomanWoman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

I have a son thats 11. If you had a child around that age it would be great. You could entertain me whilst they entertain each other.

Happy day.

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By *c5th XXXMan over a year ago

boston

I know how your feeling the mums always say there kids come first no matter what so why can’t it be the same for single dads to be the same

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have three as a single dad! 4 6 and 9

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This is another one of the shallow hypocrisies in today's modern dating world. Into your 30s and onwards it is hard to find a new partner who doesn't have a past - either exes and/or children. Women on dating sites who have children always expect men to take them on as part and parcel (hate the term baggage). Which is absolutely correct. Dating someone means buying into all of their life, not just part of it. However i have seen many profiles saying that a lady wouldnt date a man with kids as its 'too much hard work.'

(I'm sure that many ladies in here would say that this holds true when looking at males)"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It wouldn’t be the ideal as I’d want to date someone who has no children.

But if I liked them enough and saw a future, then I guess it wouldn’t stop me. I wouldn’t actively seek out a single Dad though.

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By *elshsunsWoman over a year ago

Flintshire

I’ve dated a few single dads .... I don’t expect to be centre of universe .... your child is

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some people probably just look for a reason not to date, it wouldn’t put me off.

I’d think a single parent who didn’t put their child first was undateable.

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By *iSTARessWoman over a year ago

London

Not for me. Harsh but don't want kids in my life.

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By *irthandgirthMan over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"It wouldn’t be the ideal as I’d want to date someone who has no children.

But if I liked them enough and saw a future, then I guess it wouldn’t stop me. I wouldn’t actively seek out a single Dad though."

You are still young though. Still plenty of people your age without kids. A lot of them are barely a couple of years out of uni!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It wouldn’t be the ideal as I’d want to date someone who has no children.

But if I liked them enough and saw a future, then I guess it wouldn’t stop me. I wouldn’t actively seek out a single Dad though.

You are still young though. Still plenty of people your age without kids. A lot of them are barely a couple of years out of uni! "

Yes I know. Hence why it wouldn’t be the ideal, but wouldn’t be ruled out completely.

If I were 30+ then that may well change. But I think I’d still prefer someone who was at a similar stage in life to myself.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When I was dating yes I actually preferred single dads as they knew how it is with kids. And as a single parent myself especially of 2 young adults with disabilities it was even more complicated for me. Thankfully I’ve found someone who accepts me and my children for what we are. I wasn’t looking for a replacement dad for them, it was someone for me, the fact they all like each other is an added bonus x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would.

I have a daughter myself and have dated a guy who was jealous of that. He couldn't understand the love I have for her is completely separate for any feelings I had for him, she needs me whereas he just wants me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

Actually, I think you should put your CHILD at the centre of your world and if you didn't ... THAT would make you undateable (and I don't have children)

You want to tell whoever told you this to screw themselves because they are obviously a self centered, selfish individual ... Who YOU don't need in your life x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you date a single dad then you have to understand that his children should always be his priority

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By *entralscotscpl7Couple over a year ago

Falkirk

Her loss. Block and move on.

Don't dwell on it pleanty understanding stunning women out there probably in the same position as yourself.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m a single dad, still on touch with my ex, in fact we are still quite close. That is what you call baggage. That is why I’m on here and not a dating site. The fact that I can’t accommodate because of my kids means opportunities are scarce, even on a swinging site.

But hey ho, never give up, if you want to find a date you will. It just might take a little longer. But it will be worth it. Just make sure your date gets to know your child and they get along before you get serious.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't want my kids introduced to another woman yet so this is my only option, I have desires and needs and I'm not ready to meet anyone for anything more than what FAB offers.

Although actually getting to the point of securing interest and the broaching the subject and then saying you may have to wait two weeks to meet is a challenge haha

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For me if would depend on the age of the child, and what kind of relationship the father had with the child's mother.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wow. I’d not date her but I’d date you. It’s subjective, I have a young ish child so it would work for me. If I were child-free or there was a considerable age difference between the children then it would be more of a consideration.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I was dating or looking for a relationship, my ideal would be someone with a child or children similar age to mine. Men who haven't got children don't generally understand the concept of "my child comes first". I don't want any more children, so a man who has already "done" parenting would be much better than one who want a to have a baby.

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By *ystical_InkedBBWWoman over a year ago

somewhere in the Shire of Derby

I would date a single dad as they would have a better understanding of all aspects of being a parent, especially those moments when your child isn't being an angel, and timescales get thrown out the window, children are ill etc

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"For me if would depend on the age of the child, and what kind of relationship the father had with the child's mother."

Could you elucidate a little more? What age? What type of relationship? If you'd rather not share with everyone feel free to pm me. Thanks xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Wow. I’d not date her but I’d date you. It’s subjective, I have a young ish child so it would work for me. If I were child-free or there was a considerable age difference between the children then it would be more of a consideration. "

Thanks Ruth that's very sweet of you

My one is little too so having compatible kids would be amazing wouldn't it. Perhaps I just need to remind myself to trust in the universe and remember that, despite the odds, someone ends up winning the lottery every few weeks. So hopefully fate will bring us together

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"For me if would depend on the age of the child, and what kind of relationship the father had with the child's mother.

Could you elucidate a little more? What age? What type of relationship? If you'd rather not share with everyone feel free to pm me. Thanks xx"

A child older than a toddler.

I'd be wary if their relationship was hostile/volatile. Or if she was jealous and felt the need to cause friction or sabotage a new relationship.

I'd have no problems if their relationship was amicable and mature.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Meh! Fuck ‘em off and move on. Kids are for life Fuck Buddies aren’t. My kids are worth more to me than any person I was having sex with. If your looking for something deeper the perhaps you need to find a different site.

I can rarely make weekend/evening meets because I’m caring for my children which meand the amount of chances for meet are massively reduced. Is what it is and movie night with my kids trumps sex any day.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If that single was you ! Hell yeah I would !

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By *mumaWoman over a year ago

Livingston

My daughter is grown up now, but if someone expected me to put them before her, then there feet wouldn't hit the dust on the way out...

A child is brought into this world wanted and loved and if people can't accept that I would die for my child then they have no place in my life. Child/family will always be first(football 2nd lol).

And yes, I would, and have been in relationships with single dads and it was a privilege and honour to be accepted into that family circle x

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

I'm in a relationship with a (previously) single dad right now, tbf i do have double the amount of kids he has.

Our kids do take time away from us but we had them and so knew that they would, we're still the centre of each others world.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I just think you're not compatible with her. Be thankful she told you now and not in a few months when you've fallen for her. It means you're free for someone that loves you for you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

My last 4 relationships were as a single dad, made absolutely zero difference. So thst sounds like nonsense. I think it made things easier to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Meh! Fuck ‘em off and move on. Kids are for life Fuck Buddies aren’t. My kids are worth more to me than any person I was having sex with. If your looking for something deeper the perhaps you need to find a different site.

I think he was talking about a relationship not a fuck buddy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m a single dad, and not dating

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By *icearmsMan over a year ago

KIDLINGTON

Mate I haven't read the whole thread so apologies if this has been covered off...

I guess there are a couple of thimgs here..does your child live with you or it is weekends that type of thing...

Obviously one takes more time than the other scenario.

I'm a single dad and no one will ever come before my lad. I adore him and he me so time together is precious. That doesn't mean I don't find time to fit a life arou nd that. Tbh no one who want to be centre of my universe would would get a look in as they clearly can't be alone etc and will pressures on i don't need.

Sounds like a lucky escape.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan over a year ago

Coventry

Being a single dad is not the kiss of death. It was not a problem for me when I was dating per se. Free time was hard granted but I found the women I dated (Mainly single parents too) where willing to work round me. Plus you find yourself becoming really creative to find that time, even if its just 30mins for cuppa. If anything they found my loving care for my young children and confident running of my household an attractive feature. Just have faith, be your self and you'll find someone who will value your true worth enough to work with your limitations.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It wouldnt put me off a guy. My kids are all adults now. So would be new again to me. But wouldnt be a huge issue.

I find nit being able to have anymore kids is a similar pain in the ass for me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It wouldn't bother me. I'm a single mother. I understand the need to put the children first and would not be fazed by it. I don't need to be the centre of a person's universe, just a part of it would do me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's definitely not easier for single mothers, have you not seen the single mother dating thread, we're classed as second hand citizens only good for a fuck.

To answer the op, I'd prefer to date a man that has a child purely because he understands that children will always come first. IF that guy had a nightmare ex causing problems I'd have to pull her aside and say listen I've already got a cunt ex of my own to deal with so shape up, it's the ex that could cause problems.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's definitely not easier for single mothers, have you not seen the single mother dating thread, we're classed as second hand citizens only good for a fuck.

's the ex that could cause problems. "

Would you date me?

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By *ischiefmanagedWoman over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk border

Dear god really? Most guys my age (or younger) have kids, so I assume any potential date has them tbh.

I don't have children and never wanted any of my own, so actually dating someone who already has them helps the situation (especially in my younger days).

I've dated guys with exes who hated me, tried to turn the kids against me etc. I have huge respect for anyone who tries to cultivate a balanced relationship with their ex's new partner for the sake of the children - kids shouldn't be subjected to that kind of emotional manipulation.

As long as said chap understands that my horses come before everything for me, then I'll fully accept that their kids do for them

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By *ischiefmanagedWoman over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk border

And to add, any woman who needs to be the "centre of the universe" of a man in order to feel fulfilled in life needs counselling / psychological help / a hobby!

Steer well clear!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes it can be difficult but ultimately the ones that are not interested are not worth worrying about at all.

You'll find people that are understanding about you personal situation.

I hope you manage to find what you're looking for buddy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In my opinion if you are going to make such a relationship work you have to LOVE THE CHILD, at least as much as the man, if not as much as your own.

I’ve been on both sides. My ex husband was a parent when we met & initially I pushed him to have daughter days where I wasn’t involved.

Eventually we got to ‘family’ days but I still stressed to him the importance of spending time with her on his own.

She’s now 18 & they have hardly any contact.

I’m now the single parent, struggling to find a guy that will take both myself and my son in the same deal.

Last nilla boyfriend I had used my sons behaviours towards him as an excuse to end our relationship... it was 6 months long and he worked away a lot so no invested time at all!

If I met/loved/lived with a guy who had kids then I would hope that we ALL become a family.

It can work but it is hard work & the key, I believe, is taking things really slowly and ensuring that the children still get one on one time with their natural parent

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If we clicked yeah I would have no issue dating a single dad.

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By *radleywigginsMan over a year ago

northwest

About 10 years ago I signed up to an online dating site for about a month.

I was shocked to read the number of women’s profiles stating ‘I’ve got 3 kids and they are my world/will always come first’

I found this a bit off putting on the basis that I felt it would be very difficult to begin a relationship on these terms. (I also felt it smacked a little of entitlement and gold digging)

I’m sure the women of the forum will say that that’s a woman’s prerogative.

They’ll also say that they believe in equality, and if they genuinely believe that the fact that you’re a single dad shouldn’t be a bar. Best of luck buddy.

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By *ischiefmanagedWoman over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk border

"About 10 years ago I signed up to an online dating site for about a month.

I was shocked to read the number of women’s profiles stating ‘I’ve got 3 kids and they are my world/will always come first’

I found this a bit off putting on the basis that I felt it would be very difficult to begin a relationship on these terms. (I also felt it smacked a little of entitlement and gold digging)

I’m sure the women of the forum will say that that’s a woman’s prerogative.

They’ll also say that they believe in equality, and if they genuinely believe that the fact that you’re a single dad shouldn’t be a bar. Best of luck buddy. "

Are you suggesting that a parent (of either sex) should put someone they've known/dated for a few weeks / months BEFORE their children, their own flesh and blood? Very few relationships last a lifetime, but the parent/child one does and quite rightly should come first. How is that possibly gold digging / entitlement - surely that's just being a decent parent?

I'm horrified by the selfishness of your comment to be honest.

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By *onny69sMan over a year ago

Donny

"About 10 years ago I signed up to an online dating site for about a month.

I was shocked to read the number of women’s profiles stating ‘I’ve got 3 kids and they are my world/will always come first’

I found this a bit off putting on the basis that I felt it would be very difficult to begin a relationship on these terms. (I also felt it smacked a little of entitlement and gold digging)

I’m sure the women of the forum will say that that’s a woman’s prerogative.

They’ll also say that they believe in equality, and if they genuinely believe that the fact that you’re a single dad shouldn’t be a bar. Best of luck buddy.

I'm horrified by the selfishness of your comment to be honest. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"About 10 years ago I signed up to an online dating site for about a month.

I was shocked to read the number of women’s profiles stating ‘I’ve got 3 kids and they are my world/will always come first’

I found this a bit off putting on the basis that I felt it would be very difficult to begin a relationship on these terms. (I also felt it smacked a little of entitlement and gold digging)

I’m sure the women of the forum will say that that’s a woman’s prerogative.

They’ll also say that they believe in equality, and if they genuinely believe that the fact that you’re a single dad shouldn’t be a bar. Best of luck buddy.

I'm horrified by the selfishness of your comment to be honest. "

Eagerley awaiting the response...

I absolutely agree.

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By *bonynivoryCouple over a year ago

market harborough

[Removed by poster at 10/09/18 20:15:05]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"About 10 years ago I signed up to an online dating site for about a month.

I was shocked to read the number of women’s profiles stating ‘I’ve got 3 kids and they are my world/will always come first’

I found this a bit off putting on the basis that I felt it would be very difficult to begin a relationship on these terms. (I also felt it smacked a little of entitlement and gold digging)

I’m sure the women of the forum will say that that’s a woman’s prerogative.

They’ll also say that they believe in equality, and if they genuinely believe that the fact that you’re a single dad shouldn’t be a bar. Best of luck buddy. "

How the fuck does saying their children come first make them gold diggers?

Honestly some people really annoy me with their views.

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By *bonynivoryCouple over a year ago

market harborough

"About 10 years ago I signed up to an online dating site for about a month.

I was shocked to read the number of women’s profiles stating ‘I’ve got 3 kids and they are my world/will always come first’

I found this a bit off putting on the basis that I felt it would be very difficult to begin a relationship on these terms. (I also felt it smacked a little of entitlement and gold digging)

I’m sure the women of the forum will say that that’s a woman’s prerogative.

They’ll also say that they believe in equality, and if they genuinely believe that the fact that you’re a single dad shouldn’t be a bar. Best of luck buddy.

I'm horrified by the selfishness of your comment to be honest.

Eagerley awaiting the response...

I absolutely agree."

Me too!

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Yes I would, and I have.

Not what I'm looking for on here tho.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"About 10 years ago I signed up to an online dating site for about a month.

I was shocked to read the number of women’s profiles stating ‘I’ve got 3 kids and they are my world/will always come first’

I found this a bit off putting on the basis that I felt it would be very difficult to begin a relationship on these terms. (I also felt it smacked a little of entitlement and gold digging)

I’m sure the women of the forum will say that that’s a woman’s prerogative.

They’ll also say that they believe in equality, and if they genuinely believe that the fact that you’re a single dad shouldn’t be a bar. Best of luck buddy. "

Sorry, looks like a common thing to your posts. So did you expect them to drop their kids for you as you're such a catch? The TS a hilarious and incredibly entitled viewpoint.

My daughter will always be the centre of my universe. Always been very clear and women actually expect, like and respect thst.

To suggest they are entitled and gold diggers for loving their kids is actually pretty disgusting.

I take it you've never actually managed to sustain a relationship?

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By *nsatiable Needy BratWoman over a year ago

Here and There

I date a single father and I have a much better relationship with him than one I had with a man who didn't have any children. As a single mother myself I find that we understand each others lives and roles a whole lot more because we each live it.

The fact that he raises his children well, is doting on them and keeps his loving home running is one of the many things I find attractive about him.

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By *rustratedmissWoman over a year ago

York

"I don't want my kids introduced to another woman yet so this is my only option, I have desires and needs and I'm not ready to meet anyone for anything more than what FAB offers.

Although actually getting to the point of securing interest and the broaching the subject and then saying you may have to wait two weeks to meet is a challenge haha"

This is my situation except that I dont have the time for anything other than fab offers due to having two young kids and working full time. Yes, Ive gad the same when people think im playing games when I cant meet for some time. My habies come first ALWAYS!

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By *iamondCougarWoman over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

The lady saying that sounds to insecure that she has to challenge with a child for attention etc

Of course women date single dads its just a case of finding that lady who is the opposite of the lady mentioned in the OP"

I agree with this

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It’s a NO from me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't think that's most women. I would happily date a single dad. She wasn't right for you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would depending on how old the child was.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wouldn't date anyone... so it wouldn't matter to me but If I was I would more likely date a single dad as he would understand when I have to put my kids first.

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By *alandNitaCouple over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Yes I would and I did...wbded up marrying him too

Any one who isn't interested simply because you are a parent is clearly not worth the effort anyway.

Nita

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

I'd totally date a single dad. Anyone who thinks they can be the centre of anyone's world is dreaming a bit. I'm single, no kids and a cat but no one will be centre of my universe. I have things I like to do and value my own time.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's bollocks OP.

Some women are high maintenance and would not cope with a man being a full time parent.

But there are lots that would x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was a single Dad, had no real issues when I was ready to start dating, like all single parents I had availability issues, and my kids always came first. Which probably put some women off, but that was a good thing because they would have been a bad match anyway.

Met my current wife when my youngest was 14, married her with both children still at home.

So don't worry OP, just juggle your time and put the kids needs first.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd totally date a single dad. Anyone who thinks they can be the centre of anyone's world is dreaming a bit. I'm single, no kids and a cat but no one will be centre of my universe. I have things I like to do and value my own time. "

Hello

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By *he Mac LassWoman over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

Yeah. I wouldn’t bat an eyelid. I don’t see children as baggage. They’re children.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yeah. I wouldn’t bat an eyelid. I don’t see children as baggage. They’re children. "

Shame we’re not closer

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes I would date a single dad

I really don’t know why some people have issues with this at all

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

For people who also have or want children I don't know why you being a single parent would be a problem.

It would put me off though because I'm not maternal in any way.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m a single dad of 4, ranging from 11-21. I’d date a single mum so I don’t see why being a father makes any difference. I dont need a mother for my kids, they have one of those. Surely it beats dating an attached dad.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

Before I read any other comments I just want to say YES, in fact that would be my preference. Being a single mum of 2 and most definitely not having anymore, I feel a single Dad would "get" me so much more than a man who doesn't have kids... I also think that being a parent totally changes you as a person and I love chatting to other parents about "parenty stuff"...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

The lady saying that sounds to insecure that she has to challenge with a child for attention etc

Of course women date single dads its just a case of finding that lady who is the opposite of the lady mentioned in the OP"

Exactly. You don't need that kind of woman in your life so count your blessings x

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By *verageguy123Man over a year ago

Selby

I’m a single dad and have had 2 long term relationships since having my daughter at home and have just started seeing someone else who doesn’t see it as a problem ever though her kids have all left home now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wouldn’t want to be with a single dad that didn’t put his kid/s at the centre of his universe. The ones that I know are great dads and I find it a very endearing quality.

I don’t have kids myself so I can be more flexible if someone does have them. Plus it gives me plenty of ’me’ time which I’m used to and enjoy. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yes I would date a single dad

I really don’t know why some people have issues with this at all "

Because some of us chose not to have children. Like I said, i would probably find it hard but not ruling it out completely.

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By *atural-born-thrillerMan over a year ago

oulton broad

Older single dad here though there not really children anymore but they are both still here and show no signs of vacating their bedrooms as yet . Not everyone likes the prospect of that but yeah they still come first to a certain extent especially the youngest as he has aspergers but I have my fab moments and one day who knows Cupid could sneak up on me or I could just go out dressed as a bulls eye and hope some nice lady asks why x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

Im a single mum and haven't had a relationship for over 6 years but that might be down to me and being fussy I don't really know

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yes I would date a single dad

I really don’t know why some people have issues with this at all

Because some of us chose not to have children. Like I said, i would probably find it hard but not ruling it out completely. "

I support any woman who doesn't want kids or doesn't want to date a single dad for whatever reason. I don't need to make them into a pariah. It's a big choice. If you're not into it for any reason I wouldn't want to put you through that.

I just wanted to make sure there were women out there who wouldn't mind me being a single dad. I was a bit knocked after what I was told this morning. So wanted to check I wasn't being delusional in hoping to find love. I've been really touched by all the lovely things that have been said on this thread by friends, forum regulars, and new faces. Thank you all

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It’s a NO from me "

What if we just shared a bed perfectly harmlessly like Morecombe and Wise, and there was virtually no sex?

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By *ucyfur77Woman over a year ago

Pleasuretown

"Yes I would date a single dad

I really don’t know why some people have issues with this at all

Because some of us chose not to have children. Like I said, i would probably find it hard but not ruling it out completely. "

Same

And I have been there. Just didn't work out..

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

Imagine being 5 foot 5 and having a 4.5" penis and earn £18k a year. Would it stop you getting a girlfriend, no. Would it limit your options, yes. Your best asset is your ability for abstract thinking (imho). I think speed dating would work well for you because there's a certain type of woman who'll gravitate towards you once they hear you talk.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Yes I would date a single dad

I really don’t know why some people have issues with this at all

Because some of us chose not to have children. Like I said, i would probably find it hard but not ruling it out completely.

I support any woman who doesn't want kids or doesn't want to date a single dad for whatever reason. I don't need to make them into a pariah.

Yeah I'm amazed at the vitriol - not wanting children, your own or other people's, is not a crime - it's a legitimate choice!! It seems most women in your age bracket are raising their own kids anyway, so that's ideal for both I would think.

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By *loswingersCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

I would have thought that you knew that women think like this by now ?

Of course they want you to be the centre of their universe . How dare you want to spend time with someone else’s offspring . The constant reminder that you fucked someone else being paraded in front of them at every possible opportunity . And that child will always take presidence over them , no matter what .

Yep , this is the reality of how SOME women think , and the one that you had a lucky escape from was perhaps a wake up call . But seriously , she won’t be the only one thinking that , loads do . So wake up and smell the coffee , it’s not uncommon at all .

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

Thanks broken. That's very sweet of you

I can just imagine sitting opposite a woman at a speed dating session and them asking "so tell me a little about you?" and me replying "well it all started about 14 billion years ago...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Absolouetly if I was single. My hubby has 6 kids and I'm a firm believer they should always come before me.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

Thanks broken. That's very sweet of you

I can just imagine sitting opposite a woman at a speed dating session and them asking "so tell me a little about you?" and me replying "well it all started about 14 billion years ago...

The best dating advice is to polarise...early. Who gives a fuck whether you get a hard rejection or a soft rejection, it's all rejection. But you do give a fuck if you get a light hearted acceptance or a woman goes crazy for you. I'm telling you, you say that to 30 women and 3 are going to jump across the table and start straddling your face. Whether they are the attractive ones is the luck of the draw.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why would it be easier for single mums ?

I would if the guy was right for me. "

It’s easier for single dads I’d say! Unless they are the main carer, then it’s obviously reversed but usually it’s the mums who are the main carer. My ex has had a brilliant life for the past 8yrs and is was basically a single man on his own , only responsibilities being a father was giving maintenance and seeing them once a week (his choice) and never of a weekend.

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By *ouchyfeelyMan over a year ago

Liverpool

Crap thread dude, single dad right here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd happily date a single dad but only if his kids were teenagers or adults and preferably lived with their mum.

Reason being is my children are all older teenagers or adults. I had my eldest when I was 17. So far my life has been dedicated to raising babies and young children.

I'm at last being able to live my life as I see fit. Do whatever I like, when I like. I have no screaming tantrum toddlers nor screaming babies around me.

I don't want to have to visit a potential boyfriend and have to be put back to square one by having his young ones taking over our relationship.

After all these years raising mine, I don't want to be in that situation again with someone else's children. I'm too tired physically and mentally to be part of it all over again.

So when I'm ready to settle down, I'll be seeking an older guy. To be honest, they're my preferences anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'd happily date a single dad but only if his kids were teenagers or adults and preferably lived with their mum.

Reason being is my children are all older teenagers or adults. I had my eldest when I was 17. So far my life has been dedicated to raising babies and young children.

I'm at last being able to live my life as I see fit. Do whatever I like, when I like. I have no screaming tantrum toddlers nor screaming babies around me.

I don't want to have to visit a potential boyfriend and have to be put back to square one by having his young ones taking over our relationship.

After all these years raising mine, I don't want to be in that situation again with someone else's children. I'm too tired physically and mentally to be part of it all over again.

So when I'm ready to settle down, I'll be seeking an older guy. To be honest, they're my preferences anyway."

I hear you. I really do. It's total chaos sometimes. I tried to get a break at the local cafe today and my little boy and another woman's kid started crawling over the furniture roaring at each other pretending to be lions in the zoo

I don't think the others in the cafe were too impressed though

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I hear you. I really do. It's total chaos sometimes. I tried to get a break at the local cafe today and my little boy and another woman's kid started crawling over the furniture roaring at each other pretending to be lions in the zoo

I don't think the others in the cafe were too impressed though

Case in point really. There'll be a whole bunch of people who read that and think "awww how cute" and a whole bunch of others who think "shit how annoying"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

Ridiculous! I specifically look for men with children as they then understand what it is like to have to balance your kids and a relationship.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ll be honest the past two men I’ve dated from the fishy site I’ve called it a day as they had very young children. It’s just not what I’m after at this point in my life. If a man I date has young children I’d expect him to put them first when he’s got free time ,so therefore I know we won’t be suited.

My kids are older and I’m not willing to go through all that again, Harsh but true.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't have children of my own - so I'm less likely to date anyone with dependant children.

Not that I "date" anymore

But if love ever happened again for me then I would expect their child to come first.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

I don't think the others in the cafe were too impressed though

Case in point really. There'll be a whole bunch of people who read that and think "awww how cute" and a whole bunch of others who think "shit how annoying"

There are other variables though. As someone who had a LTR with a (then) single mum, i would advise anyone to stay clear of people who have toxic relationships with the other biological parent. Watching two parents use a child as a pawn in mind games is soul destroying. Some kids are annoying too. Generally they have names like tyler, mason or are girls names with unconvential spelling.

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By *rmskirk360Woman over a year ago

Wigan

I would sleep with a single parent, or play with them, but wouldn't date one unless the kids were grown up.

I don't want kids of my own, and so don't want to take on someone else's.

Selfish, maybe, but I decide what I want for myself, and kids play no part in how I want to live my life.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I would sleep with a single parent, or play with them, but wouldn't date one unless the kids were grown up.

I don't want kids of my own, and so don't want to take on someone else's.

Selfish, maybe, but I decide what I want for myself, and kids play no part in how I want to live my life. "

You don't like the smell of shit and constantly cleaning up other peoples mess? Strange.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

I don't think the others in the cafe were too impressed though

Case in point really. There'll be a whole bunch of people who read that and think "awww how cute" and a whole bunch of others who think "shit how annoying"

Have you been taking lessons off that vile Katie Hopkins?!

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By *amlee7986Couple over a year ago

nottingham

I did date a single dad, later married him

I love him and his kids so really easy decision for me

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

I don't think the others in the cafe were too impressed though

Case in point really. There'll be a whole bunch of people who read that and think "awww how cute" and a whole bunch of others who think "shit how annoying"

Have you been taking lessons off that vile Katie Hopkins?! "

If we were both single, she'd be my #1 pick for single mum I'd like to date.

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By *rmskirk360Woman over a year ago

Wigan

"I would sleep with a single parent, or play with them, but wouldn't date one unless the kids were grown up.

I don't want kids of my own, and so don't want to take on someone else's.

Selfish, maybe, but I decide what I want for myself, and kids play no part in how I want to live my life.

You don't like the smell of shit and constantly cleaning up other peoples mess? Strange. "

I know, right? I've had men in the past try to push their kids onto me, and it's not what I want. In my experience, there's also been drama with the ex, and I like to keep my life peaceful.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

Bin her and date a single mum who understands parental responsibility.

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By *ottie_84Woman over a year ago

Nottingham

I’ve had guys demanding meets etc and I had one chap who wanted to know when they were asleep so I could see him! I was like nu uh bye!

I would date a single dad if I didn’t have kids

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

Bin her and date a single mum who understands parental responsibility."

What is with all the aggression?! I'd say the reason she turned him down is because she DOES understand parental responsibility, jeeze.....

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

"I would sleep with a single parent, or play with them, but wouldn't date one unless the kids were grown up.

I don't want kids of my own, and so don't want to take on someone else's.

Selfish, maybe, but I decide what I want for myself, and kids play no part in how I want to live my life.

You don't like the smell of shit and constantly cleaning up other peoples mess? Strange.

I know, right? I've had men in the past try to push their kids onto me, and it's not what I want. In my experience, there's also been drama with the ex, and I like to keep my life peaceful. "

Obviously it's everyone's choice as to who they get involved with, and if you don't want to get involved with someone with children, that's fine. It's the people who DO get involved with people with children and then demand they be put above the children who are the arses.

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By *rmskirk360Woman over a year ago

Wigan

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

Bin her and date a single mum who understands parental responsibility.

What is with all the aggression?! I'd say the reason she turned him down is because she DOES understand parental responsibility, jeeze.....

Exactly my thoughts! I understand the responsibility, I just don't want it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you fall for someone, with all things being equal then the dependent child comes first, but there are times when you'll need to prioritise your partner.

Your new partner has the right to expect you to be flexible though (which may mean rearranging childcare at times).

Personally, if your dependant child wasn't your priority, I'd dump you. My ex is a spineless twat who puts his new wife first. Totally under the thumb.

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By *rmskirk360Woman over a year ago

Wigan

"I would sleep with a single parent, or play with them, but wouldn't date one unless the kids were grown up.

I don't want kids of my own, and so don't want to take on someone else's.

Selfish, maybe, but I decide what I want for myself, and kids play no part in how I want to live my life.

You don't like the smell of shit and constantly cleaning up other peoples mess? Strange.

I know, right? I've had men in the past try to push their kids onto me, and it's not what I want. In my experience, there's also been drama with the ex, and I like to keep my life peaceful.

I agree this is wrong. I would never expect to be put above someone's children.

My business is my baby, and you'd be surprised how many people expect me to drop everything for them, so can't even begin to imagine how a parent feels when put in the same position over their children.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

"If you fall for someone, with all things being equal then the dependent child comes first, but there are times when you'll need to prioritise your partner.

Your new partner has the right to expect you to be flexible though (which may mean rearranging childcare at times).

Personally, if your dependant child wasn't your priority, I'd dump you. My ex is a spineless twat who puts his new wife first. Totally under the thumb."

The father of Katie's daughter left her for above woman when the daughter was three and moved to live with said woman 200 miles away.

A couple of years later, the no doubt insecure child asked her dad if he loved her best in all the world. He said he loved her equally with the new woman.

Arse.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I would sleep with a single parent, or play with them, but wouldn't date one unless the kids were grown up.

I don't want kids of my own, and so don't want to take on someone else's.

Selfish, maybe, but I decide what I want for myself, and kids play no part in how I want to live my life.

You don't like the smell of shit and constantly cleaning up other peoples mess? Strange.

I know, right? I've had men in the past try to push their kids onto me, and it's not what I want. In my experience, there's also been drama with the ex, and I like to keep my life peaceful. "

Whilst i do think children are worth it, on balance. The behaviour of fighting parents rips the fabric of your faith in humanity. She'll be 45 minutes late dropping off the kid just to piss him off and then he'll threaten to try for full custody just to hit back on her. Then they have an arms race to see who can give the child to most junk food and least rules so the child will prefer spending time with them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

Bin her and date a single mum who understands parental responsibility.

What is with all the aggression?! I'd say the reason she turned him down is because she DOES understand parental responsibility, jeeze.....

I haven't read the rest of the thread - there's no aggression whatsoever, simply your perception. My post is a reaction to someone seemingly high maintenance. I don't even know if it's merely a conversation between OP and a friend or if it's between him and a girlfriend who wants to be the centre of his universe.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would sleep with a single parent, or play with them, but wouldn't date one unless the kids were grown up.

I don't want kids of my own, and so don't want to take on someone else's.

Selfish, maybe, but I decide what I want for myself, and kids play no part in how I want to live my life. "

Nothing selfish with that at all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you fall for someone, with all things being equal then the dependent child comes first, but there are times when you'll need to prioritise your partner.

Your new partner has the right to expect you to be flexible though (which may mean rearranging childcare at times).

Personally, if your dependant child wasn't your priority, I'd dump you. My ex is a spineless twat who puts his new wife first. Totally under the thumb.

The father of Katie's daughter left her for above woman when the daughter was three and moved to live with said woman 200 miles away.

A couple of years later, the no doubt insecure child asked her dad if he loved her best in all the world. He said he loved her equally with the new woman.

Arse. "

Definitely an arse. They are different loves. He could feel that way but express it differently.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

I don't think the others in the cafe were too impressed though

Case in point really. There'll be a whole bunch of people who read that and think "awww how cute" and a whole bunch of others who think "shit how annoying"

Have you been taking lessons off that vile Katie Hopkins?!

If we were both single, she'd be my #1 pick for single mum I'd like to date. "
explains a lot

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

"If you fall for someone, with all things being equal then the dependent child comes first, but there are times when you'll need to prioritise your partner.

Your new partner has the right to expect you to be flexible though (which may mean rearranging childcare at times).

Personally, if your dependant child wasn't your priority, I'd dump you. My ex is a spineless twat who puts his new wife first. Totally under the thumb.

The father of Katie's daughter left her for above woman when the daughter was three and moved to live with said woman 200 miles away.

A couple of years later, the no doubt insecure child asked her dad if he loved her best in all the world. He said he loved her equally with the new woman.

Arse.

Definitely an arse. They are different loves. He could feel that way but express it differently."

Indeed. He was talking to a five year old who wanted reassurance. Tell her what she wants to hear.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"If you fall for someone, with all things being equal then the dependent child comes first, but there are times when you'll need to prioritise your partner.

Your new partner has the right to expect you to be flexible though (which may mean rearranging childcare at times).

Personally, if your dependant child wasn't your priority, I'd dump you. My ex is a spineless twat who puts his new wife first. Totally under the thumb.

The father of Katie's daughter left her for above woman when the daughter was three and moved to live with said woman 200 miles away.

A couple of years later, the no doubt insecure child asked her dad if he loved her best in all the world. He said he loved her equally with the new woman.

Arse.

Definitely an arse. They are different loves. He could feel that way but express it differently.

Indeed. He was talking to a five year old who wanted reassurance. Tell her what she wants to hear. "

I've never understood men who like being under the thumb. Plenty of them though

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I were single then I'd have no problem dating a guy with kids. Then again I'd have kids so would be more understanding.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

Bin her and date a single mum who understands parental responsibility.

What is with all the aggression?! I'd say the reason she turned him down is because she DOES understand parental responsibility, jeeze.....

I haven't read the rest of the thread - there's no aggression whatsoever, simply your perception. "

Nonsense - the statement 'Bin her' is aggressive, and suggesting only single mum's understand parental responsibility is judgemental and aggressive too.

Nowhere does the OP state that any woman has demanded to be put ahead of someone's kids. On the contrary, some woman had simply stated that she will NOT date single Dads because she wants someone's full attention. Maybe she's had 20 years of raising kids already and has had enough. Maybe she's had a nightmare experience or a relationship ruined because of someone else's ghastly ex, or spoiled child from hell....you just don't know.

I know people that have really suffered torment from the loss of their relationship, and I think people have a cavalier attitude to messing with children's lives and emotions too. I have a lot of respect for the guy that said 'I am on fab because my child's needs preclude another relationship right now."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm a single father and have had relationships.

There are understanding women out there"

I fully agree but this isn't the site for it most of the women are here to just use the me. They meet ... mostly gas vad experience with past partners

Maybe a dating site would be much better for you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you fall for someone, with all things being equal then the dependent child comes first, but there are times when you'll need to prioritise your partner.

Your new partner has the right to expect you to be flexible though (which may mean rearranging childcare at times).

Personally, if your dependant child wasn't your priority, I'd dump you. My ex is a spineless twat who puts his new wife first. Totally under the thumb.

The father of Katie's daughter left her for above woman when the daughter was three and moved to live with said woman 200 miles away.

A couple of years later, the no doubt insecure child asked her dad if he loved her best in all the world. He said he loved her equally with the new woman.

Arse.

Definitely an arse. They are different loves. He could feel that way but express it differently.

Indeed. He was talking to a five year old who wanted reassurance. Tell her what she wants to hear.

I've never understood men who like being under the thumb. Plenty of them though

Yeah, i married one and i so could have controlled him... Never wanted to. He's happy under the thumb with new wife but at the price of losing a daughter.

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By *eiaorganaWoman over a year ago

Dundee

My bf is a dad, it didn't bother me when we started dating. I understand that the kids will always come first, and so they should

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

Bin her and date a single mum who understands parental responsibility.

What is with all the aggression?! I'd say the reason she turned him down is because she DOES understand parental responsibility, jeeze.....

I haven't read the rest of the thread - there's no aggression whatsoever, simply your perception.

Nonsense - the statement 'Bin her' is aggressive, and suggesting only single mum's understand parental responsibility is judgemental and aggressive too.

Again your interpretation of my words. It was simply a statement (my opinion) for a set scenario in my mind out of the possible scenarios.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

Bin her and date a single mum who understands parental responsibility.

What is with all the aggression?! I'd say the reason she turned him down is because she DOES understand parental responsibility, jeeze.....

I haven't read the rest of the thread - there's no aggression whatsoever, simply your perception.

Nonsense - the statement 'Bin her' is aggressive, and suggesting only single mum's understand parental responsibility is judgemental and aggressive too.

Again your interpretation of my words. It was simply a statement (my opinion) for a set scenario in my mind out of the possible scenarios. "

Yup - I expect it was 'Woman starts dating man and demands she be put ahead of his kids.....'. Whatever, it was aggressive, half the statements on this thread are, I'm thinking there's a lot of chips on shoulders here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

Bin her and date a single mum who understands parental responsibility.

What is with all the aggression?! I'd say the reason she turned him down is because she DOES understand parental responsibility, jeeze.....

I haven't read the rest of the thread - there's no aggression whatsoever, simply your perception.

Nonsense - the statement 'Bin her' is aggressive, and suggesting only single mum's understand parental responsibility is judgemental and aggressive too.

Again your interpretation of my words. It was simply a statement (my opinion) for a set scenario in my mind out of the possible scenarios.

I explained my thoughts of "centre of universe" equating to high maintenance and then later that it could be a friendly warning from a friend. Whoever had actually made the statement, should not have generalised - whether it was a potential gf or simply a friend. Too many variables involved when human beings and emotions are involved. And if your digging at my "chip"

, then yeah i would hate for anyone to go through what my daughters have. In these circumstances, my chip wants to explode

. However, I'm aware there are other scenarios. I certainly don't hold anything against people who don't want to go into relationships where there are children, or fear entering one because the guy would never be flexible in SOMETIMES prioritising his partner.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"If you fall for someone, with all things being equal then the dependent child comes first, but there are times when you'll need to prioritise your partner.

Your new partner has the right to expect you to be flexible though (which may mean rearranging childcare at times).

Personally, if your dependant child wasn't your priority, I'd dump you. My ex is a spineless twat who puts his new wife first. Totally under the thumb.

The father of Katie's daughter left her for above woman when the daughter was three and moved to live with said woman 200 miles away.

A couple of years later, the no doubt insecure child asked her dad if he loved her best in all the world. He said he loved her equally with the new woman.

Arse.

Definitely an arse. They are different loves. He could feel that way but express it differently.

Indeed. He was talking to a five year old who wanted reassurance. Tell her what she wants to hear.

I've never understood men who like being under the thumb. Plenty of them though

Yeah, i married one and i so could have controlled him... Never wanted to. He's happy under the thumb with new wife but at the price of losing a daughter."

How pathetic. I know some guys accept being under the thumb to get a woman that's more than two points hotter than them. But guys that seek it out, I can't get my head around that...

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By *urvymamaWoman over a year ago

Doncaster

Have in the past and would again and I wouldn’t expect to be the center of his world his children should take that honor I’ll settle for second best in his eyes in that regard

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you fall for someone, with all things being equal then the dependent child comes first, but there are times when you'll need to prioritise your partner.

Your new partner has the right to expect you to be flexible though (which may mean rearranging childcare at times).

Personally, if your dependant child wasn't your priority, I'd dump you. My ex is a spineless twat who puts his new wife first. Totally under the thumb.

The father of Katie's daughter left her for above woman when the daughter was three and moved to live with said woman 200 miles away.

A couple of years later, the no doubt insecure child asked her dad if he loved her best in all the world. He said he loved her equally with the new woman.

Arse.

Definitely an arse. They are different loves. He could feel that way but express it differently.

Indeed. He was talking to a five year old who wanted reassurance. Tell her what she wants to hear.

I've never understood men who like being under the thumb. Plenty of them though

Yeah, i married one and i so could have controlled him... Never wanted to. He's happy under the thumb with new wife but at the price of losing a daughter.

How pathetic. I know some guys accept being under the thumb to get a woman that's more than two points hotter than them. But guys that seek it out, I can't get my head around that... "

Ironically when they first met, he admitted she was nice but didn't find her attractive.

Some people cannot cope when not in a relationship.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A different incarnation and i still kill threads

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By *DreamOfGenieWoman over a year ago

London

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

Just come across this thread and wanted to say...if she's that self centered, do you really want to be with her?

She is not the norm, and I speak for myself and many many women I know when I say that a guy having a kid is absolutely fine by me

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By *hingy2Woman over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Yep I would x

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By *hingy2Woman over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I wouldn’t want to be with a single dad that didn’t put his kid/s at the centre of his universe. The ones that I know are great dads and I find it a very endearing quality.

I don’t have kids myself so I can be more flexible if someone does have them. Plus it gives me plenty of ’me’ time which I’m used to and enjoy. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I've just been told that I'm undateable because I have a kid and that would mean I couldn't put a woman at the centre of my universe where she belongs.

If this is really how women see it and my hopes of finding love again are zero I'd rather go into that with open eyes. So I don't need any sugar coating. What do you honestly think?

Just come across this thread and wanted to say...if she's that self centered, do you really want to be with her?

She is not the norm, and I speak for myself and many many women I know when I say that a guy having a kid is absolutely fine by me

Thanks genie xx But I think this thread has shown that having a kid will just naturally reduce my options. That's just that. There may be great mutual chemistry, loads in common, but the whole kid thing stymies it. I guess I kinda knew this going into this thread. I knew my odds were slim. I was just worried they were even slimmer. Thankfully there's a glimmer of hope... and being a total panglossian I'll cling to that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Dont lose faith, remember most singles on here are relationship shy so that skews the responses.

In my time I had 5 relationships that lasted more than a few weeks despite being widowed with 2 young children. Think kids are a barrier to a relationship, that's nothing to a perfect wife and mother who can never do anything wrong, And all memories are also perfect!

Just be yourself, and get socialising. Keep the kids in the background a bit don't want them meeting too many women...

And get on with life. Yes it's a complication but it's not a barrier.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A different incarnation and i still kill threads

No you didn't.

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