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Do you have a problem?
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"Can I help?
Maybe you can help me?
What is your problem?  "
So I'm staying with someone at the weekend...but its a small confined space (not a prison cell)
What happens when I need to *whipsers* poo?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I help?
Maybe you can help me?
What is your problem?
So I'm staying with someone at the weekend...but its a small confined space (not a prison cell)
What happens when I need to *whipsers* poo? "
Cough but if your breath smells bad... The combination of smells might kill you both. |
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"Can I help?
Maybe you can help me?
What is your problem?
So I'm staying with someone at the weekend...but its a small confined space (not a prison cell)
What happens when I need to *whipsers* poo?
Cough but if your breath smells bad... The combination of smells might kill you both. "
Maybe I'll poo outside and blame the cows?
#smellofthecountry |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I help?
Maybe you can help me?
What is your problem?
So I'm staying with someone at the weekend...but its a small confined space (not a prison cell)
What happens when I need to *whipsers* poo? "
Layer the bottom of the pan with toilet roll, so you don’t get a splash. If you think you’re going to fart when you poo, flush the toilet or have a coughing fit.
Good luck in your pooing endeavours X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes I have.
I need to cut my toe nails but I am not flexible enough.
Can you do it with your lively teeth ?
Can I suck them to soften them?
Do you need me to nibble the skin around them too?
"
Please do ! Thank you so much.
It hurts when I feest fannies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I help?
Maybe you can help me?
What is your problem?
So I'm staying with someone at the weekend...but its a small confined space (not a prison cell)
What happens when I need to *whipsers* poo? "
Run both sink taps and bath taps at full flow and sing at the top of your voice |
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By *ammyDodgaMan
over a year ago
Nottingham/and everywhere my location says i am ;) |
"Can I help?
Maybe you can help me?
What is your problem?
So I'm staying with someone at the weekend...but its a small confined space (not a prison cell)
What happens when I need to *whipsers* poo? "
Place a finger in each ear,then start humming. If you can't hear it, it never happened  |
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By *ammyDodgaMan
over a year ago
Nottingham/and everywhere my location says i am ;) |
"Yup. I'm stuck on an island,it's 11.30 am it's 27 degrees and the only thing I can do about it is go swim in a glacial lake.. Damn it will be the death of me 
Maybe just dip one leg in?"
Errrrgh, toe dipping... Cannnnnnonballlll |
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"Can I help?
Maybe you can help me?
What is your problem?
So I'm staying with someone at the weekend...but its a small confined space (not a prison cell)
What happens when I need to *whipsers* poo?
Run both sink taps and bath taps at full flow and sing at the top of your voice "
It's a hut..I'm not sure there is a toilet  |
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"I do,but I don't think you can help.
Are you a medical person with knowledge of hysterectomies,please say you are? I feel kinda plop.
No, but I have some friends who might be able to help."
I'm losing faith with my doctor at the hospital. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I help?
Maybe you can help me?
What is your problem?
So I'm staying with someone at the weekend...but its a small confined space (not a prison cell)
What happens when I need to *whipsers* poo?
Run both sink taps and bath taps at full flow and sing at the top of your voice
It's a hut..I'm not sure there is a toilet "
A bucket out the back? watch out for nettles |
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"Can I help?
Maybe you can help me?
What is your problem?
So I'm staying with someone at the weekend...but its a small confined space (not a prison cell)
What happens when I need to *whipsers* poo?
Run both sink taps and bath taps at full flow and sing at the top of your voice
It's a hut..I'm not sure there is a toilet
A bucket out the back? watch out for nettles "
Oh nettle fanny rash  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I help?
Maybe you can help me?
What is your problem?
So I'm staying with someone at the weekend...but its a small confined space (not a prison cell)
What happens when I need to *whipsers* poo? "
Sing really badly and he’ll put the pillow over his head to block it out
You’re welcome |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I help?
Maybe you can help me?
What is your problem?
So I'm staying with someone at the weekend...but its a small confined space (not a prison cell)
What happens when I need to *whipsers* poo? "
Start a mature conversation about how refreshing it is to be with an adult who isn't easily shocked. Then when you've got them nodding their head announce "my! that reminds me! my gut's rumbling. I really need to nudge a turd out. you don't mind do you?"
Problem solved. Thank me later  |
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Um....I have this ‘itch’.....in a highly sensitive area.
Could you possibly be kind enough to wrap your fingers and palm around it and move it rhythmically up and down until the itch goes away?
I’ll make you a cup of tea in return  |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"Can you massage my back I've a trapped nerve.
I can get on your nerve or touch your nerve if this helps "
You can apply pressure to my nerve it will help however you don't get on my nerves... Keep trying  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I help?
Maybe you can help me?
What is your problem?
So I'm staying with someone at the weekend...but its a small confined space (not a prison cell)
What happens when I need to *whipsers* poo? "
I usually time the flush so it makes noise at the exact same time the poo plops into the water...Don't drink alcohol or eat rich foods the night before, you don't want to stink the place out. A little smell is OK. We all poo ffs. Have a great time x |
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"Can I help?
Maybe you can help me?
What is your problem?
So I'm staying with someone at the weekend...but its a small confined space (not a prison cell)
What happens when I need to *whipsers* poo?
I usually time the flush so it makes noise at the exact same time the poo plops into the water...Don't drink alcohol or eat rich foods the night before, you don't want to stink the place out. A little smell is OK. We all poo ffs. Have a great time x"
I don't poo...I haven't even farted yet. 7 months I'm doing well. |
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"My cock's too big and my tits are too small, Can you help?"
If you rub your cock enough it'll break down the fat, you need to push that up your body and into your tits.
My tits seem to have fallen into my thighs.
If I stand on my head for a week it'll go back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes I have.
I need to cut my toe nails but I am not flexible enough.
Can you do it with your lively teeth ?
Can I suck them to soften them?
Do you need me to nibble the skin around them too?
"
Lunch mmm mm |
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"Blame the dog.
There's no dog.
Ok, put me on loud speaker and I'll pretend it's me and take the blame
We were just talking about you. Ill call you while I poo for a change "
Call? Whilst dropping the kids off at the pool? Groooooossssss.
What can I say, it's the only time I'm not distracted by shiny things |
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"Blame the dog.
There's no dog.
Ok, put me on loud speaker and I'll pretend it's me and take the blame
We were just talking about you. Ill call you while I poo for a change
Call? Whilst dropping the kids off at the pool? Groooooossssss.
What can I say, it's the only time I'm not distracted by shiny things "
It's my best shopping time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Need 2 tyres fitted on my bike if you would be so kind
Oh and there is a few things that need to be washed up
Got spoons?"
would need to be big spoons its a 600cc |
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"Yes my internet is going really slow, I've got 300plus unread messages and a whole load of veries to write...argh.
It's like an anxiety homework dream.
And relax."
Let me log into your account and do some admin. |
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"Need 2 tyres fitted on my bike if you would be so kind
Oh and there is a few things that need to be washed up
Got spoons? would need to be big spoons its a 600cc "
Come back when you have a mens bike |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I need to update my bathroom and downstairs toilet.
I really havent the time or motivation to do it myself.
I need help xx
Can i poo in it? "
Of course you can, once its completed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I do,but I don't think you can help.
Are you a medical person with knowledge of hysterectomies,please say you are? I feel kinda plop.
No, but I have some friends who might be able to help.
I'm losing faith with my doctor at the hospital."
I'm not a medical person but I had one in feb. If I can help, send me a msg. |
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"Yes my internet is going really slow, I've got 300plus unread messages and a whole load of veries to write...argh.
It's like an anxiety homework dream.
And relax.
Let me log into your account and do some admin. "
I've always wanted a PA, would you sit in my knee and call me sir? |
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"Yes my internet is going really slow, I've got 300plus unread messages and a whole load of veries to write...argh.
It's like an anxiety homework dream.
And relax.
Let me log into your account and do some admin.
I've always wanted a PA, would you sit in my knee and call me sir?"
If you like sir |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm losing faith with my doctor at the hospital.
I'm not a medical person but I had one in feb. If I can help, send me a msg."
I read that as "I'm not a doctor but I fucked one in Feb so maybe I can help" |
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By *istalloverCouple
over a year ago
Pays de la Loire -Normandie -Brittany borderFrance |
I need help
When i go to my premature ejaculation therapy session , i'm always there before everybody else .
A day too early the last two times.
they are relaxed dress code affairs.
They said last time i could just come in my pants ????
help. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm losing faith with my doctor at the hospital.
I'm not a medical person but I had one in feb. If I can help, send me a msg.
I read that as "I'm not a doctor but I fucked one in Feb so maybe I can help" "
That's some selective reading there Mr Kinky |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm losing faith with my doctor at the hospital.
I'm not a medical person but I had one in feb. If I can help, send me a msg.
I read that as "I'm not a doctor but I fucked one in Feb so maybe I can help"
That's some selective reading there Mr Kinky "
I thought it was a pretty good line. Don't be surprised if you catch me using it in future
p.s I'm still marrying your voice  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Need 2 tyres fitted on my bike if you would be so kind
Oh and there is a few things that need to be washed up
Got spoons? would need to be big spoons its a 600cc
Come back when you have a mens bike "
Define mans bike lol would a 170 mph gsxr do it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm losing faith with my doctor at the hospital.
I'm not a medical person but I had one in feb. If I can help, send me a msg.
I read that as "I'm not a doctor but I fucked one in Feb so maybe I can help"
That's some selective reading there Mr Kinky
I thought it was a pretty good line. Don't be surprised if you catch me using it in future
p.s I'm still marrying your voice "
Ha! Have it, it's yours!
The line, not my voice...it might take an erotic poem to make my voice say yes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm losing faith with my doctor at the hospital.
I'm not a medical person but I had one in feb. If I can help, send me a msg.
I read that as "I'm not a doctor but I fucked one in Feb so maybe I can help"
That's some selective reading there Mr Kinky
I thought it was a pretty good line. Don't be surprised if you catch me using it in future
p.s I'm still marrying your voice
Ha! Have it, it's yours!
The line, not my voice...it might take an erotic poem to make my voice say yes "
Would a ballad suffice? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm losing faith with my doctor at the hospital.
I'm not a medical person but I had one in feb. If I can help, send me a msg.
I read that as "I'm not a doctor but I fucked one in Feb so maybe I can help"
That's some selective reading there Mr Kinky
I thought it was a pretty good line. Don't be surprised if you catch me using it in future
p.s I'm still marrying your voice
Ha! Have it, it's yours!
The line, not my voice...it might take an erotic poem to make my voice say yes
Would a ballad suffice? "
Try me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm losing faith with my doctor at the hospital.
I'm not a medical person but I had one in feb. If I can help, send me a msg.
I read that as "I'm not a doctor but I fucked one in Feb so maybe I can help"
That's some selective reading there Mr Kinky
I thought it was a pretty good line. Don't be surprised if you catch me using it in future
p.s I'm still marrying your voice
Ha! Have it, it's yours!
The line, not my voice...it might take an erotic poem to make my voice say yes
Would a ballad suffice?
Try me"
Hint hint wink wink... I just posted one on the new voice thread. Catch it soon before I get too embarrassed again  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm losing faith with my doctor at the hospital.
I'm not a medical person but I had one in feb. If I can help, send me a msg.
I read that as "I'm not a doctor but I fucked one in Feb so maybe I can help"
That's some selective reading there Mr Kinky
I thought it was a pretty good line. Don't be surprised if you catch me using it in future
p.s I'm still marrying your voice
Ha! Have it, it's yours!
The line, not my voice...it might take an erotic poem to make my voice say yes
Would a ballad suffice?
Try me
Hint hint wink wink... I just posted one on the new voice thread. Catch it soon before I get too embarrassed again "
Aaagh need to find the thread. Don't remove It!
|
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