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Single Mother Dating

By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

So there are a lot of YouTube channels that urge men not to date single mothers - MGTOW, Red Pill, MRAs. I'm not saying any of them are right, I'm just saying they exist in large volumes. Their main point is that a single mother is never going to treat you / the man equally to her child. So essentially the deal is that you get to be a provider for someone you play second fiddle to.

Now, the reason for the thread... I imagine this is an immensely complicated issue for single mothers and I wanted to hear from any women that have ever been in that position, how you deal with it? It seems you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. I bet if a lot of single mothers said they would treat the man equally, then these same channels would start saying "look what a terrible parent she is, she doesn't even put her children first!".

So really just interested in reactions, no judgement here either. Do you think they have a point and how did you mitigate this issue in real life?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is it the same for single fathers?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You need to get off YouTube

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Is it the same for single fathers?"

Well all those types of channels are aimed at men so they've never given dating advice to women. I'd imagine they'd say it's different but i can't speak for them.

Personally interested to hear opinions of single mothers and fathers...

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By *icolerobbieCouple over a year ago

walsall

I've seen them. I was amazed to see the mgtow thing. Blokes actually just giving up on women because they found them to be just too much hassle.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

im a single mum

i have always worked and kept a roof over our heads without any help not even from their dad.

i never moved a guy in. if i dated i have always paid my own way.

i just didn't have time to date a guy often so it never lasted

only now that my kids are young adults, have i started regularly dating a guy (its very new). but i wouldnt live with anyone with my kids

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am a single mum and I don't need a "provider".

That's an archaic attitude.

I want an equal, a lover and a friend but I don't and will never put them above my child, but any man of worth wouldn't expect or ask that of me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As a man that has dated single mums I would completely understand if a mother put her child first and wouldn’t be offended or feel second fiddle. I would be there for her and offer support then it’s up to her if she wants to take me up on it.

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I am a single mum and I don't need a "provider".

That's an archaic attitude.

I want an equal, a lover and a friend but I don't and will never put them above my child, but any man of worth wouldn't expect or ask that of me."

Thanks, how did you interpret "putting them above your child"? I was thinking of smaller things (there's an argument between them) rather than big life decisions (e.g. which city to live in)

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"im a single mum

i have always worked and kept a roof over our heads without any help not even from their dad.

i never moved a guy in. if i dated i have always paid my own way.

i just didn't have time to date a guy often so it never lasted

only now that my kids are young adults, have i started regularly dating a guy (its very new). but i wouldnt live with anyone with my kids "

So you effectively didn't come into this conflict head on because you didn't have time for relationships. Indirectly any conflict was resolved for you this way?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There’s nothing to stop mothers still within the relationship, treating the father as second fiddle to their child.

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I've seen them. I was amazed to see the mgtow thing. Blokes actually just giving up on women because they found them to be just too much hassle. "

I find MGTOW interesting because it's 40% true, 60% bullshit. I disagree with their conclusions but some of their analysis is interesting.

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"There’s nothing to stop mothers still within the relationship, treating the father as second fiddle to their child. "

True, true. Good point, well made

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am a single mum and I don't need a "provider".

That's an archaic attitude.

I want an equal, a lover and a friend but I don't and will never put them above my child, but any man of worth wouldn't expect or ask that of me.

Thanks, how did you interpret "putting them above your child"? I was thinking of smaller things (there's an argument between them) rather than big life decisions (e.g. which city to live in)"

It was your term, "playing second fiddle to" that led me to that interpretation.

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I am a single mum and I don't need a "provider".

That's an archaic attitude.

I want an equal, a lover and a friend but I don't and will never put them above my child, but any man of worth wouldn't expect or ask that of me.

Thanks, how did you interpret "putting them above your child"? I was thinking of smaller things (there's an argument between them) rather than big life decisions (e.g. which city to live in)

It was your term, "playing second fiddle to" that led me to that interpretation.

Here's a hypothetical scenario, you went out for a girls night and your boyfriend was babysitter for you. When you get back, the nights been a disaster, kid and boyfriend arguing, kid wouldn't go to bed, hasn't eaten properly, boyfriend pissed off. You don't know who to believe about why it all went wrong, probably fault on both sides. Do you think that is a harder situation to resolve if the boyfriend is not the biological father?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A lot of childless men have beliefs that they shouldn't date women with children.

Women kind of get the bum deal in this respect as it's not solely our fault the relationship with the child's father didn't go the distance. To be deemed undateable by some men whilst the father is free to do as he pleases is very unfair.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh and you may have been thinking those "smaller" things but you didn't state them. From experience, it's the smaller things that become bigger things. The big stuff is already taken care of by the time you get to that.

I waited over a year before introducing a partner to my child, to be sure we were ready, it wasn't on a whim, and it was right for my child.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You need to get off YouTube

He’s just discovered it, give him a break !

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"A lot of childless men have beliefs that they shouldn't date women with children.

Agree with all that. I guess what I'm interested in is how you perceive future dating. I don't mean to put words in anyone's mouth but one possible strategy could be something like "well I know it's tougher for the new guy, but I'd compensate for it in other ways". I guess that starts with whether you perceive a conflict or not?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am a single mum and I don't need a "provider".

That's an archaic attitude.

I want an equal, a lover and a friend but I don't and will never put them above my child, but any man of worth wouldn't expect or ask that of me.

Thanks, how did you interpret "putting them above your child"? I was thinking of smaller things (there's an argument between them) rather than big life decisions (e.g. which city to live in)

It was your term, "playing second fiddle to" that led me to that interpretation.

I wouldn't have that situation because that isn't how I would do it so I can't answer. Why do you ask and what would Your answer be?

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By *iffaWoman over a year ago

wherever

theres a lot of crazies on the internet but still i get this point. It’s not just men though there are a lot of women who also like to be no 1 in a relationship and if someone is a good loving parent then there child/children will always come first

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By *icolerobbieCouple over a year ago

walsall

"A lot of childless men have beliefs that they shouldn't date women with children.

Maybe it's just that they don't want to bring up other peoples kids?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

Does the dynamic of a couple not change when children are bought into it? I'd imagine, above all else the health nd well being of the child takes precedent.

Or is it different because it is their own child and so he doesn't mind being second best?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am a single mum and I don't need a "provider".

That's an archaic attitude.

I want an equal, a lover and a friend but I don't and will never put them above my child, but any man of worth wouldn't expect or ask that of me.

Thanks, how did you interpret "putting them above your child"? I was thinking of smaller things (there's an argument between them) rather than big life decisions (e.g. which city to live in)

It was your term, "playing second fiddle to" that led me to that interpretation.

Wouldn't happen. My daughter stays with her father every other weekend Friday to Sunday and my daughter also likes sleeping over my mothers. They would be baby sitters for my nights out.

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I am a single mum and I don't need a "provider".

That's an archaic attitude.

I want an equal, a lover and a friend but I don't and will never put them above my child, but any man of worth wouldn't expect or ask that of me.

Thanks, how did you interpret "putting them above your child"? I was thinking of smaller things (there's an argument between them) rather than big life decisions (e.g. which city to live in)

It was your term, "playing second fiddle to" that led me to that interpretation.

I wouldn't have that situation because that isn't how I would do it so I can't answer. Why do you ask and what would Your answer be?"

I honestly can't imagine being a single parent so my answer wouldn't mean much. I understand why a single parent would feel conflicted. I'm just interested whether single mothers feel these statements are true and tough shit, true but can be mitigated, not true at all...

Trying to see it from multiple angles.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"im a single mum

i have always worked and kept a roof over our heads without any help not even from their dad.

i never moved a guy in. if i dated i have always paid my own way.

i just didn't have time to date a guy often so it never lasted

only now that my kids are young adults, have i started regularly dating a guy (its very new). but i wouldnt live with anyone with my kids

So you effectively didn't come into this conflict head on because you didn't have time for relationships. Indirectly any conflict was resolved for you this way? "

id seen mates go though crap with new guys coming into their families. i wasn't putting my kids in to that situation.

i made the conscious decision to stay single and put my kids first.

guys dont like it when you cancel a date cos kids are ill. or you can't drop everything to see them because you have to see to the kids. 1 guy i saw a few times actually gave me that reason. clearly didn't like that he wasnt and never would be, a priority

and thats i joined here. it's on my terms. it was never going to lead to a relationship

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Are all the poor men single mothers wish to turn into their provider childless themselves. I find it highly improbable. Will these women accept being second fiddle to his kids or would they be more adult about the whole thing.

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I’ll be honest, if a man comes with baggage I’d seriously ask him how much input he wants from me , if it is more than 0% I would be out of there so I can accept the same but opposite views apply

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You need to get off YouTube

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Does the dynamic of a couple not change when children are bought into it? I'd imagine, above all else the health nd well being of the child takes precedent.

Or is it different because it is their own child and so he doesn't mind being second best? "

Well I'm trying to unpick what being second best would really mean on a day to day basis. For example, if a guy in Scotland dates a single mum in London and then demands she relocated to Scotland for him, well I don't have a lot of sympathy if she doesn't want to. I tried to give a more complex, less significant scenario about babysitting.

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"im a single mum

i have always worked and kept a roof over our heads without any help not even from their dad.

i never moved a guy in. if i dated i have always paid my own way.

i just didn't have time to date a guy often so it never lasted

only now that my kids are young adults, have i started regularly dating a guy (its very new). but i wouldnt live with anyone with my kids

So you effectively didn't come into this conflict head on because you didn't have time for relationships. Indirectly any conflict was resolved for you this way?

id seen mates go though crap with new guys coming into their families. i wasn't putting my kids in to that situation.

i made the conscious decision to stay single and put my kids first.

and thats i joined here. it's on my terms. it was never going to lead to a relationship "

Cool, thanks for your input

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I’ll be honest, if a man comes with baggage I’d seriously ask him how much input he wants from me , if it is more than 0% I would be out of there so I can accept the same but opposite views apply

Is that because you don't want to be second best? You think a conflict is inevitable?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am a single mum and I don't need a "provider".

That's an archaic attitude.

I want an equal, a lover and a friend but I don't and will never put them above my child, but any man of worth wouldn't expect or ask that of me.

Thanks, how did you interpret "putting them above your child"? I was thinking of smaller things (there's an argument between them) rather than big life decisions (e.g. which city to live in)

It was your term, "playing second fiddle to" that led me to that interpretation.

I wouldn't have that situation because that isn't how I would do it so I can't answer. Why do you ask and what would Your answer be?

Trying to see it from multiple angles. "

Similar to above, I rarely go out in the evenings and generally arrange my social life around my child's absence- ie when she sees her father. On the rare occasions I don't, I have family and friends who can offer sleepovers, and a reliable sitter.

My partner at the time did look after my child on a couple of occasions but being a parent himself, he had already been through it with his own child. I was always contactable as well. So your scenarios aren't very well thought through really, whereas being a responsible parent is all about thinking things through.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am a single mum and I don't need a "provider".

That's an archaic attitude.

I want an equal, a lover and a friend but I don't and will never put them above my child, but any man of worth wouldn't expect or ask that of me.

Thanks, how did you interpret "putting them above your child"? I was thinking of smaller things (there's an argument between them) rather than big life decisions (e.g. which city to live in)

It was your term, "playing second fiddle to" that led me to that interpretation.

Yes it would be much harder to resolve. I’m not speaking from experience, but I know friends who have remarried and find this situation difficult on occasions. They’re stuck in the middle between their child and their partner.

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By *tonMessCouple over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

I've been a single mum to two boys... They were 8 months and 5 when I became single by my own choice. I decided then that they were my priority and stuck to it til the youngest was 15.

That's a long time being single!

I didn't "date" in the conventional sense, I used this site and clubs and gathered myself a little harem of fwbs.

They all knew the score.

I only met when the boys were at their dads for the weekend, very few ever got to come to our home, I always paid my own way and never allowed myself to get too close to any of them.

The friendships have lasted. Even now, we a good friends with former FWBs.

I never wanted to be that single mum whose kids saw a stream of men coming through their lives... Cheffy and I were together a year before my resolve buckled!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

"Does the dynamic of a couple not change when children are bought into it? I'd imagine, above all else the health nd well being of the child takes precedent.

Or is it different because it is their own child and so he doesn't mind being second best?

Oh i see. I'm not a single parent BTW so not so sure why I'm posting but.... Going on your situation around babysitting I would wonder if there is a need to apportion blame? Kids can just sometimes be dicks as well as adults. Ask questions maybe try to mediate if you want the relationship to work but I'd guess if you were comfortable enough to be leaving your child at home with your new partner they'd have spent a fair bit of time with them.

Perhaps being second best relates more to making plans. You can't meet on a Tuesday because Johnny has athletics, or on a Thursday because that's violin class. You're in standby for Saturday just incase he gets picked for basketball etc

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I am a single mum and I don't need a "provider".

That's an archaic attitude.

I want an equal, a lover and a friend but I don't and will never put them above my child, but any man of worth wouldn't expect or ask that of me.

Thanks, how did you interpret "putting them above your child"? I was thinking of smaller things (there's an argument between them) rather than big life decisions (e.g. which city to live in)

It was your term, "playing second fiddle to" that led me to that interpretation.

Right, so how do you think they perceive dating as a result? On a spectrum you can have someone dating down (consciously or otherwise) because they feel the best men don't want to date single mothers and at the other end of the spectrum you just say, it's an issue to be managed like any other and I have other great qualities to offer that even it out.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Is it possible for a woman whose given birth to have the exact unconditional love for a man? I know its not for me my mother instincts are there first and formost

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This feels like it must be one or the other ... the child or the guy. They are different things and different relationships.

Of course the mother (or father) has a responsibility for their child and this must take precedence at times. There must also be time to share with eachother to nurture the new relationship. It's not about mutual exclusion but balancing relationships of very different types.

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I've been a single mum to two boys... They were 8 months and 5 when I became single by my own choice. I decided then that they were my priority and stuck to it til the youngest was 15.

That's a long time being single!

I didn't "date" in the conventional sense, I used this site and clubs and gathered myself a little harem of fwbs.

They all knew the score.

I only met when the boys were at their dads for the weekend, very few ever got to come to our home, I always paid my own way and never allowed myself to get too close to any of them.

The friendships have lasted. Even now, we a good friends with former FWBs.

I never wanted to be that single mum whose kids saw a stream of men coming through their lives... Cheffy and I were together a year before my resolve buckled!"

Intersting but feels a bit sad if it sounds like you had to put your love life on hold for a long time?

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By *ystical_InkedBBWWoman over a year ago

somewhere in the Shire of Derby

I've stayed single as it was easier as I needed to devote my time and energy to my lad as he was going through a tough time with his attachment disorder and to bring someone else into the equation was not an option. Now he's older and things are settled down he has turned round and said it's time for us to let someone in. Knowing he is comfortable with the idea makes it easier for me and anyone who may come along.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

[Removed by poster at 27/08/18 22:59:07]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A lot of childless men have beliefs that they shouldn't date women with children.

Maybe it's just that they don't want to bring up other peoples kids?"

It's that attitude that pisses me off. My child is 9 years old, how do guys think I've managed all these years without them. Why do childless men with no experience of raising children think that women are waiting for them to arrive to bring their children up? It makes no sense. My child has a father and a large family who love her and it's a job in itself trying to ensure all family members have sufficient time with her. I wouldn't be with a man that was arrogant enough to think I was waiting for him to come along to raise my child.

I'm suspicious as fuck, any guy I entered into a relationship with I'd have known for a long time before he was even introduced to my child, he would know me well enough by then to understand that I'd gut him in his sleep if he ever put his hands on my child. I also wouldn't put him in a position where he had to discipline my child when I wasn't around. She has too many family members to stay with for me to rely on a boyfriend for babysitting duties.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I don't want to date single dads. I've brought up 2 kids of my own, why would I want to take on someone else's kids? And yes, I've been a single parent. I worked and provided for them. Never expected the state or anyone else to do it for me.

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By *agneto.Man over a year ago

Bham

Are these pick up channels? It was all forums and shared videos when I was younger.

But anyway, it's true. A single mother will put her children first and she would be 100% correct to do so! Same way I put my kids first.

I've dated single mothers. Worked out well as they always have their own places when I couldn't accommodate and I could still have my freedom as they often had other things to do.

Someone who needs a woman to put him first and suplicate to him all the time sounds like someone with a very fragile ego.

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Does the dynamic of a couple not change when children are bought into it? I'd imagine, above all else the health nd well being of the child takes precedent.

Or is it different because it is their own child and so he doesn't mind being second best?

Well we're married with children, so if that happened to us, there's nothing to decide. My wife was right, children were wrong and will be punished. Doesn't matter if it's true or not because you back each other up regardless. There's nothing stopping a single parent having the same attitude if the parent is committed enough to have earned that status, but I still think it's more complicated.

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Are these pick up channels? It was all forums and shared videos when I was younger.

But anyway, it's true. A single mother will put her children first and she would be 100% correct to do so! Same way I put my kids first.

I've dated single mothers. Worked out well as they always have their own places when I couldn't accommodate and I could still have my freedom as they often had other things to do.

Someone who needs a woman to put him first and suplicate to him all the time sounds like someone with a very fragile ego. "

No, pick up is a different genre. These are mainly run by bitter, divorced men. Their opinions are tainted by that but their experiences are still interesting.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm single and a parent. Two different things in my opinion.I don't like mixing the two due to stereotypes but also I don't want to be introducing new people into my child's life.

But similarly I'm incredibly lucky to have an amazing ex who is a brilliant dad.

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Is that because you don't want to be second best? You think a conflict is inevitable? "

No it’s because I didn’t want any of my own, so I won’t start looking after somebody else’s, simple as

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

Is that because you don't want to be second best? You think a conflict is inevitable?

No it’s because I didn’t want any of my own, so I won’t start looking after somebody else’s, simple as

Hard to argue with that logic!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

I do find this an odd question. Ive never even tbought of it as playing second fiddle or anything. Its just a general acceptance that someones kids will come first. Doesnt mean they cant be a wonderful loving partner

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I'm single and a parent. Two different things in my opinion.I don't like mixing the two due to stereotypes but also I don't want to be introducing new people into my child's life.

But similarly I'm incredibly lucky to have an amazing ex who is a brilliant dad. "

It's great that you can say that

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I do find this an odd question. Ive never even tbought of it as playing second fiddle or anything. Its just a general acceptance that someones kids will come first. Doesnt mean they cant be a wonderful loving partner"

It's not a given assumption. There are people who assume that is always the case. But if you disagree then it's an opinion that is wide open to challenge.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I don't want to date single dads. I've brought up 2 kids of my own, why would I want to take on someone else's kids? And yes, I've been a single parent. I worked and provided for them. Never expected the state or anyone else to do it for me.

"
that was always my attitude

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There’s nothing to stop mothers still within the relationship, treating the father as second fiddle to their child. "

Exactjy, it happens all the time.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sigh. It's all just bullshit MRA.

Do you honestly expect me to favour ANYONE over my kids? Hell no. They are mine and I have legal, social, moral etc etc responsibilities for them.

Does that mean there isn't room.for anyone else? How ridiculous. I have friends, family. Why not a significant other?

Would i EVER give my time to someone who felt entitlement like these MRA guys? Nope. Kids or not.

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By *icolerobbieCouple over a year ago

walsall

"There’s nothing to stop mothers still within the relationship, treating the father as second fiddle to their child.

Exactjy, it happens all the time. "

Id say pretty much every time. When children come along peoples lives change forever. In an ideal world both parents put the children first, but you should always make time for each other!

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Sigh. It's all just bullshit MRA.

Do you honestly expect me to favour ANYONE over my kids? Hell no. They are mine and I have legal, social, moral etc etc responsibilities for them.

Does that mean there isn't room.for anyone else? How ridiculous. I have friends, family. Why not a significant other?

Would i EVER give my time to someone who felt entitlement like these MRA guys? Nope. Kids or not."

So the conflict doesn't exist in your opinion?

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"There’s nothing to stop mothers still within the relationship, treating the father as second fiddle to their child.

Exactjy, it happens all the time.

Id say pretty much every time. When children come along peoples lives change forever. In an ideal world both parents put the children first, but you should always make time for each other!"

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By *iffaWoman over a year ago

wherever

There’s other things to consider if dating a parent. Like do you want to emigrate, arw you looking for someone to do spontaneous things with etc

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sigh. It's all just bullshit MRA.

Do you honestly expect me to favour ANYONE over my kids? Hell no. They are mine and I have legal, social, moral etc etc responsibilities for them.

Does that mean there isn't room.for anyone else? How ridiculous. I have friends, family. Why not a significant other?

Would i EVER give my time to someone who felt entitlement like these MRA guys? Nope. Kids or not.

So the conflict doesn't exist in your opinion? "

I'm sure these entitled fools would find one. But personally, no.

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"There’s other things to consider if dating a parent. Like do you want to emigrate, arw you looking for someone to do spontaneous things with etc"

So one point of view could be that if a man is pretty settled in the local area and lives a simple life, he's not really sacrificing anything if he gets into a relationship with a single mum?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Baffles me why childless people male or female assume that by dating you it means they want you to raise or look after their children.

I wouldn't let someone park my car if they couldn't drive, same as I wouldn't want someone with no experience of raising children be solely responsible for raising or looking after my child. It's arrogant as fuck, what makes people think you'd even be introduced to the child, you'd have to be in a pretty solid relationship by the time that happened and by then you'd already know you aren't needed for anything in that child's life as shits already taken care of.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't think I'd be happy to play second fiddle in a relationship

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By *agneto.Man over a year ago

Bham

"Baffles me why childless people male or female assume that by dating you it means they want you to raise or look after their children.

Exactly. I've wouldn't let some random women be responsible for my kids.

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Baffles me why childless people male or female assume that by dating you it means they want you to raise or look after their children.

Well that's ideology for you. They simplify the world heavily to make their point. Good analogy with the car, I like that!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Baffles me why childless people male or female assume that by dating you it means they want you to raise or look after their children.

Beautifully put

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Is that because you don't want to be second best? You think a conflict is inevitable?

No it’s because I didn’t want any of my own, so I won’t start looking after somebody else’s, simple as

Hard to argue with that logic!"

Exactly it’s a mute point in my thinking

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You need to get off YouTube

Couldnt agree more

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By *iffaWoman over a year ago

wherever

"There’s other things to consider if dating a parent. Like do you want to emigrate, arw you looking for someone to do spontaneous things with etc

So one point of view could be that if a man is pretty settled in the local area and lives a simple life, he's not really sacrificing anything if he gets into a relationship with a single mum? "

Same as a childless woman getting with a Mam with kids although in fairness dads usually have weekdays free.

I am a single mum and if I thought someone was sacrificing something to be with me I wouldn’t want them too.

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By *icolerobbieCouple over a year ago

walsall

"Baffles me why childless people male or female assume that by dating you it means they want you to raise or look after their children.

I suppose it depends how you see dating. If it's a casual thing then yeah, that all makes sense. But some people see dating as a prelude to a full on relationship, should they meet the right person. if that's the case, then at some point living together would be the next step.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"There’s nothing to stop mothers still within the relationship, treating the father as second fiddle to their child.

Exactjy, it happens all the time.

Id say pretty much every time. When children come along peoples lives change forever. In an ideal world both parents put the children first, but you should always make time for each other!

I think it can be a lot worse in some relationships than others! Imagine a woman who feels her biological clock ticking and gets married to an acceptable guy, but far from the man of her dreams. Hard to imagine that turning out well after the baby arrives. "
that can happen to anyone theres been a news report recently of a wonderful loving father murdering his pregnant wife and 2 kids

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

Quite a range of views so far but no real consensus! Not that we needed one but i didn't expect such a spectrum of opinions for some reason.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Op do you never find anything positive on youtube or is it all negative. Isnt there anyone who posts something positive about stuff

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Op do you never find anything positive on youtube or is it all negative. Isnt there anyone who posts something positive about stuff"

I do post positive stuff, but it gets fuck all replies. Like when I posted about how an air stewardess managed to rescue a napped child with a very clever improvised plan. Got about 5 comments.

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

Nope, not even 5. 3 replies and 1 was me again, so precisely 2 fucks given for a positive thread:

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/784793

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Op do you never find anything positive on youtube or is it all negative. Isnt there anyone who posts something positive about stuff

I do post positive stuff, but it gets fuck all replies. Like when I posted about how an air stewardess managed to rescue a napped child with a very clever improvised plan. Got about 5 comments. "
lol it was probably because your well known for your controversial threads nobody had anything to get stuck into

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By *riefcase_WankerMan over a year ago

Milton Keynes

"Is it possible for a woman whose given birth to have the exact unconditional love for a man? I know its not for me my mother instincts are there first and formost"

I'm not sure romantic love can really be unconditional...

I mean - even in true love, you want them to love you back, to feel the same way about you as you feel about them...it's not unconditional

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By *ustyWoman over a year ago

inverclyde

Does same apply to single dad's...why just females !!!!!

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By *tonMessCouple over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

"I've been a single mum to two boys... They were 8 months and 5 when I became single by my own choice. I decided then that they were my priority and stuck to it til the youngest was 15.

That's a long time being single!

I didn't "date" in the conventional sense, I used this site and clubs and gathered myself a little harem of fwbs.

They all knew the score.

I only met when the boys were at their dads for the weekend, very few ever got to come to our home, I always paid my own way and never allowed myself to get too close to any of them.

The friendships have lasted. Even now, we a good friends with former FWBs.

I never wanted to be that single mum whose kids saw a stream of men coming through their lives... Cheffy and I were together a year before my resolve buckled!

Intersting but feels a bit sad if it sounds like you had to put your love life on hold for a long time? "

I didn't "have to", i "chose" to. I was genuinely having the time of my life, doing as I pleased with whoever I pleased, at convenient times for me. I was able to be a damned good, attentive and effective mum for 11 days and night, then let my hair down and have fun with like-minded adults without guilt for 3 days and nights.

Worked fine for me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Are these pick up channels? It was all forums and shared videos when I was younger.

But anyway, it's true. A single mother will put her children first and she would be 100% correct to do so! Same way I put my kids first.

I've dated single mothers. Worked out well as they always have their own places when I couldn't accommodate and I could still have my freedom as they often had other things to do.

Someone who needs a woman to put him first and suplicate to him all the time sounds like someone with a very fragile ego.

No, pick up is a different genre. These are mainly run by bitter, divorced men. Their opinions are tainted by that but their experiences are still interesting. "

I wonder if they have kids and their relationship broke down because their ex wife put the kids first and they were jealous.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There’s nothing to stop mothers still within the relationship, treating the father as second fiddle to their child.

Exactjy, it happens all the time.

Id say pretty much every time. When children come along peoples lives change forever. In an ideal world both parents put the children first, but you should always make time for each other!

I think it can be a lot worse in some relationships than others! Imagine a woman who feels her biological clock ticking and gets married to an acceptable guy, but far from the man of her dreams. Hard to imagine that turning out well after the baby arrives. that can happen to anyone theres been a news report recently of a wonderful loving father murdering his pregnant wife and 2 kids"

That happens all the time.

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By *ambornemanMan over a year ago

In your town now

See this is why I don't date single mums kids Just get in the way of everything

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By *verageguy123Man over a year ago

Selby

As a single father I find that women are put off, half of the problem is a lot of people my age kids have grown up and they want their freedom rather than having to consider a child when making any plans to do anything. I know that doesn’t really answer the original question but just saying how it is

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm a single parent, my son will always come 1st even before me it's rare any mother wudnt. I played when he was at school, sleeping out. That why I came on fab uncomplicated fun wen u want.

Now he's older I have a harder time as I never kno wen he's coming in, going out but I still don't have men in wen he's aroun

I think men have lost their role in society as they aren't the provider and aren't sure wot thy are to woman and thy haven't adapted as qikly as woman have to being independent. Any man biological father or just a bf will come 2nd to a child. Simples

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"There’s nothing to stop mothers still within the relationship, treating the father as second fiddle to their child.

Exactjy, it happens all the time.

Id say pretty much every time. When children come along peoples lives change forever. In an ideal world both parents put the children first, but you should always make time for each other!

I think it can be a lot worse in some relationships than others! Imagine a woman who feels her biological clock ticking and gets married to an acceptable guy, but far from the man of her dreams. Hard to imagine that turning out well after the baby arrives. that can happen to anyone theres been a news report recently of a wonderful loving father murdering his pregnant wife and 2 kids

That happens all the time.

"
no lol it was just a point that we never truekly know anyone

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

2am my time so will read this thread another time. But I just wanted to say that I'm a single dad and I just see the two things as totally different. I don't have to shift my love of my little boy over in the corner to make way for romantic love of a woman. They're totally different. I can put both at the centre of my life.

But let's be realistic... I have a duty of care to my boy that will always override everything... and that includes vetting who I'm bringing into his life. A romantic love should also be aware that I need to spend quality time with my son and not try to pull me away from that. She and him will also need to develop a relationship. But all that comes further down the line. Best not to look too far into the distance when you're just starting out.

The key point is that, when you're a single parent, you can't go bunny boiler and rush into new relationships willy nilly. You need to build them and let them grow and entwine slowly with you and your family.

I don't think this is a single mum thing at all. If anything, I think it's just what dating is like for anyone older than 30 and with a life of their own. There will need to be compromises. But you'll doom a relationship if you rush in with that mindset. You start by just having fun. Then if it gets more serious you start seeing what you're willing to compromise on. It's different for little kiddies. They've no lives to compromise. It's all just potential. So they can dive into each other's lives and disrupt the heck out of it all

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By *onderWomanWlvWoman over a year ago

Wolverhampton

".... theres been a news report recently of a wonderful loving father murdering his pregnant wife and 2 kids"

Hardly wonderful and loving if he killed them all!

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By *aximus74Woman over a year ago

Manchester

"2am my time so will read this thread another time. But I just wanted to say that I'm a single dad and I just see the two things as totally different. I don't have to shift my love of my little boy over in the corner to make way for romantic love of a woman. They're totally different. I can put both at the centre of my life.

This!!!

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By *hyblueEyesMan over a year ago

Daventry

I’m a single Dad and I’m sorry but my daughter will always come first. I was dating someone several years back and saw a text over her shoulder to a friend saying “the bloody child has got in bed with us again”. She was swiftly dumped and I’ve not really dated since, that was 7 years ago now. I don’t bother looking as a really can’t be arsed with a stroppy partner getting all emotional becuase they feel second best to a little girl. I won’t ever change, my world revolves around making sure my daughter is happy, safe and has everything she needs to be successful in life and I won’t ever apologise or justify myself to someone for being that way

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By *amseMan over a year ago

birmingham

I'm a childless guy and I actually prefer dating a single mum as enjoy being and taking care of her and get the family I don't have myself. To be the father figure to a child I find really nice too.

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By *rank n BettyCouple over a year ago

Not meeting

"There’s nothing to stop mothers still within the relationship, treating the father as second fiddle to their child. "

So true!! Children should always come first. They didn’t ask to be born. Sadly their father didn’t feel the same & often put them 3rd or 4th & I was bottom of the barrel!!

Frank took us on as a unit. He knows they will always come first especially whilst dependent on me.

B x

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By *rNaughtyNickMan over a year ago

Birmingham

"I'm a childless guy and I actually prefer dating a single mum as enjoy being and taking care of her and get the family I don't have myself. To be the father figure to a child I find really nice too. "

Done this before only problem I have found is that when you have a bond with the child it is brilliant. Like being a kid again and having new best friend etc..

Unfortunately when things dont work out not only are you heartbroken from the mother you also lost that friendship with the child too so its a double whammy...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Makes no difference to a lot of guys, single mum or not. Too many guys get labelled in the same way these days

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By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

I'm a single dad and have dates single mums.

I would not expect them to put me above their child, in the same way that my daughter always comes first.

Parents who are still together should (and mostly do) put their children's needs above their own.

To feel jealous of the love between parent and child is unbelievably childish.

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

Thanks for all the contributions, such a range of views on this topic!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was a single mum.... I met someone who treats my kids as his own. There was never a 'kids first, man second' I just loved him, them , all of us as a family...men should take advice off bitter men who feel slighted because they weren't put first. Just love. All works out in the end

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've stopped seeing single mums I meet on dating sites, personally, I've just been messed around by them too much.

It's obvious that the kids come first and I totally agree with that. I find the ones that make a point of it are using it as an excuse to treat men like crap.

If I knew a single mum irl and we really got on then that would be different.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

I'm a single mum, I have raised my children & a dozen others through Foster care pretty much alone.

I have never needed a man to provide for us, in fact that's one of the reasons I divorced - I was the provider... The amount my ex now owes in unpaid support, is more than I could earn in 2yrs!

My children have always come first, and always will. I've never wanted a father figure for them, they do have a dad in their lives regardless of how I view him.

I stayed completely single for 10yrs as had no time or desire for a man in my life.

The youngest is in his mid teens now, and I've got time for myself now, have a great social life, out most weekends.

But no man would ever come before my kids.

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I'm a single mum, I have raised my children & a dozen others through Foster care pretty much alone.

I have never needed a man to provide for us, in fact that's one of the reasons I divorced - I was the provider... The amount my ex now owes in unpaid support, is more than I could earn in 2yrs!

My children have always come first, and always will. I've never wanted a father figure for them, they do have a dad in their lives regardless of how I view him.

I stayed completely single for 10yrs as had no time or desire for a man in my life.

The youngest is in his mid teens now, and I've got time for myself now, have a great social life, out most weekends.

But no man would ever come before my kids.

Probably the most common response, that I didn't expect to see, was how many people chose to stay single. That's been an eye opener.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm a single mum, I have raised my children & a dozen others through Foster care pretty much alone.

I have never needed a man to provide for us, in fact that's one of the reasons I divorced - I was the provider... The amount my ex now owes in unpaid support, is more than I could earn in 2yrs!

My children have always come first, and always will. I've never wanted a father figure for them, they do have a dad in their lives regardless of how I view him.

I stayed completely single for 10yrs as had no time or desire for a man in my life.

The youngest is in his mid teens now, and I've got time for myself now, have a great social life, out most weekends.

But no man would ever come before my kids.

Probably the most common response, that I didn't expect to see, was how many people chose to stay single. That's been an eye opener. "

I wonder if it's mostly the parent with custody of the kids that decides to stay single.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm a single dad and have dates single mums.

I would not expect them to put me above their child, in the same way that my daughter always comes first.

Parents who are still together should (and mostly do) put their children's needs above their own.

To feel jealous of the love between parent and child is unbelievably childish."

Because I chose not to have children of my own, I would be very wary of dating a guy with kids. I understand that kids come first but I’m not sure how I could handle it. I lived with a guy at 19 who had 2 kids and was going through a tough divorce. That was enough to scar me for life.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I'm a single mum, I have raised my children & a dozen others through Foster care pretty much alone.

I have never needed a man to provide for us, in fact that's one of the reasons I divorced - I was the provider... The amount my ex now owes in unpaid support, is more than I could earn in 2yrs!

My children have always come first, and always will. I've never wanted a father figure for them, they do have a dad in their lives regardless of how I view him.

I stayed completely single for 10yrs as had no time or desire for a man in my life.

The youngest is in his mid teens now, and I've got time for myself now, have a great social life, out most weekends.

But no man would ever come before my kids.

Probably the most common response, that I didn't expect to see, was how many people chose to stay single. That's been an eye opener. "
i wouldnt of got in a relationship when my son was really young. Think he was about 12 first time and that was like a military operation

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Probably the most common response, that I didn't expect to see, was how many people chose to stay single. That's been an eye opener. "

Maybe that's a female thing because, personally, I'd love to create a home for my little boy around a new loving relationship and maybe even a brother or sister for him. I'm not one of those daters actively seeking that though as, to me, that's like putting the cart before the horse. Let's fuck first then see where we want to go from there

But it does mean that, as a single dad, I'm especially patient with the idea of dating a single mum

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nah. Every single mother I've been with has started off cool then when they think they have me start asking me to pay baby sitters, help with rent, buy their kids shit.

My answer, go to the dad. I'm not paying for your burden.

Single mothers are more fuck material than dating material.

Plus to many men around the world outside the west, the idea of caring for another man's child's, disgusts many men. Men that are not yet pulled or cucked would never allow it.

Now you can flame me and block me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Plus what date a single mother when you can get a girl that has no child baggage

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Nah. Every single mother I've been with has started off cool then when they think they have me start asking me to pay baby sitters, help with rent, buy their kids shit.

My answer, go to the dad. I'm not paying for your burden.

Single mothers are more fuck material than dating material.

Plus to many men around the world outside the west, the idea of caring for another man's child's, disgusts many men. Men that are not yet pulled or cucked would never allow it.

Now you can flame me and block me."

You’re not worth the ban

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By *arlo82Couple over a year ago

the gym and random places

"I am a single mum and I don't need a "provider".

That's an archaic attitude.

I want an equal, a lover and a friend but I don't and will never put them above my child, but any man of worth wouldn't expect or ask that of me."

This

I'm a single mother and have been for a very long time. I work bloody hard and def don't need a provider.

Just my equal

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well this has been a charming thread OP.

Your next thread had better be seriously uplifting.

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By *arlo82Couple over a year ago

the gym and random places

"Nah. Every single mother I've been with has started off cool then when they think they have me start asking me to pay baby sitters, help with rent, buy their kids shit.

My answer, go to the dad. I'm not paying for your burden.

Single mothers are more fuck material than dating material.

Plus to many men around the world outside the west, the idea of caring for another man's child's, disgusts many men. Men that are not yet pulled or cucked would never allow it.

Now you can flame me and block me.

You’re not worth the ban "

I've no words .......... I'll not risk the ban

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hi there guys and girls. I have to say that when I first met my sexy wife she she was a single mam with a six month old baby girl who is now 9 and we have 2 other kids together so in fact we now have 3 kids two girls and 1 boy. My advise is don't watch them stupid videos on YouTube. They are made by dopey fuckers who couldn't score at an open air or gym.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Nah. Every single mother I've been with has started off cool then when they think they have me start asking me to pay baby sitters, help with rent, buy their kids shit.

My answer, go to the dad. I'm not paying for your burden.

Single mothers are more fuck material than dating material.

Plus to many men around the world outside the west, the idea of caring for another man's child's, disgusts many men. Men that are not yet pulled or cucked would never allow it.

Now you can flame me and block me."

Wow, I’m not even a mother (through choice) and I think your post has made you very undesirable.

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By *ire_bladeMan over a year ago

Manchester

"Nah. Every single mother I've been with has started off cool then when they think they have me start asking me to pay baby sitters, help with rent, buy their kids shit.

My answer, go to the dad. I'm not paying for your burden.

Single mothers are more fuck material than dating material.

Plus to many men around the world outside the west, the idea of caring for another man's child's, disgusts many men. Men that are not yet pulled or cucked would never allow it.

Now you can flame me and block me."

That is 1 nasty mind you have. No matter what the mother or father are like that's an inercent child your talking about.

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By *entralscotscpl7Couple over a year ago

Falkirk

"Nah. Every single mother I've been with has started off cool then when they think they have me start asking me to pay baby sitters, help with rent, buy their kids shit.

My answer, go to the dad. I'm not paying for your burden.

Single mothers are more fuck material than dating material.

Plus to many men around the world outside the west, the idea of caring for another man's child's, disgusts many men. Men that are not yet pulled or cucked would never allow it.

Now you can flame me and block me."

Wow classy guy my knickers are wringing after reading that.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

"Nah. Every single mother I've been with has started off cool then when they think they have me start asking me to pay baby sitters, help with rent, buy their kids shit.

My answer, go to the dad. I'm not paying for your burden.

Single mothers are more fuck material than dating material.

Plus to many men around the world outside the west, the idea of caring for another man's child's, disgusts many men. Men that are not yet pulled or cucked would never allow it.

Now you can flame me and block me.

Wow, I’m not even a mother (through choice) and I think your post has made you very undesirable. "

Love the self filtering aspect of the forums.

As I've said, I'm not looking for anyone to support me or my kids.

But I'd give any man with that attitude a very wide berth.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've been a single father for 8 years, kids are 18 and 19 now. When I was first on my own with them I thought women would appreciate a man who loved and cared, worked hard to provide for his children but how wrong was I?

Unbelievable how many women have had a problem with me putting the kids first? I've had complaints, I've had ultimatums, been dumped, all sorts has happened. My answer is, if you don't like it then go because that's how it is and I'm not gonna change it for anyone.

This is why I've been single for so long and used fab

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Nah. Every single mother I've been with has started off cool then when they think they have me start asking me to pay baby sitters, help with rent, buy their kids shit.

My answer, go to the dad. I'm not paying for your burden.

Single mothers are more fuck material than dating material.

Plus to many men around the world outside the west, the idea of caring for another man's child's, disgusts many men. Men that are not yet pulled or cucked would never allow it.

Now you can flame me and block me.

Wow, I’m not even a mother (through choice) and I think your post has made you very undesirable.

Love the self filtering aspect of the forums.

As I've said, I'm not looking for anyone to support me or my kids.

But I'd give any man with that attitude a very wide berth. "

And so you should, me also x

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

If you get annoyed that a parent will put their child above you if you date all that is is a sign of immaturity. It's bleeding obvious they will.

As said above, once you get above a certain age, the majority of potential partners will have children.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Nah. Every single mother I've been with has started off cool then when they think they have me start asking me to pay baby sitters, help with rent, buy their kids shit.

My answer, go to the dad. I'm not paying for your burden.

Single mothers are more fuck material than dating material.

Plus to many men around the world outside the west, the idea of caring for another man's child's, disgusts many men. Men that are not yet pulled or cucked would never allow it.

Now you can flame me and block me.

Wow, I’m not even a mother (through choice) and I think your post has made you very undesirable.

Love the self filtering aspect of the forums.

As I've said, I'm not looking for anyone to support me or my kids.

But I'd give any man with that attitude a very wide berth. "

Obviously his attitude has gotten him lots of women .... Struggled to find a verification from a woman who'd met him one to one.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you get annoyed that a parent will put their child above you if you date all that is is a sign of immaturity. It's bleeding obvious they will.

As said above, once you get above a certain age, the majority of potential partners will have children. "

Of course I would get frustrated. It’s why I would prefer to meet someone that doesn’t have kids or at least one that has older ones. I accept they would come first but my choice to not have kids were for selfish reasons and wanting to explore the world with nothing getting in the way.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

"If you get annoyed that a parent will put their child above you if you date all that is is a sign of immaturity. It's bleeding obvious they will.

As said above, once you get above a certain age, the majority of potential partners will have children.

Obviously, you don't want a relationship with someone who has children, that's fine. It's the people who get into such relationships and then moan about the kids coming first that get me!

Not a personal dig, but I do think people who have never had kids often find it difficult appreciating the imperatives of a parent child relationship.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Nah. Every single mother I've been with has started off cool then when they think they have me start asking me to pay baby sitters, help with rent, buy their kids shit.

My answer, go to the dad. I'm not paying for your burden.

Single mothers are more fuck material than dating material.

Plus to many men around the world outside the west, the idea of caring for another man's child's, disgusts many men. Men that are not yet pulled or cucked would never allow it.

Now you can flame me and block me."

The idea of caring for their OWN disgusts alot too

Bless 'em

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By *hatYorkLadMan over a year ago

York

"If you get annoyed that a parent will put their child above you if you date all that is is a sign of immaturity. It's bleeding obvious they will.

As said above, once you get above a certain age, the majority of potential partners will have children.

That's why I don't have any either, it would be more selfish of me to have children and not give them the time they deserve because I like to be off on adventures or persuing my hobbies. That said if I met a single mother who I really liked then of course I'd give it a go, I'm not needy so wouldn't get arsey over her prioritising her kids.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Nah. Every single mother I've been with has started off cool then when they think they have me start asking me to pay baby sitters, help with rent, buy their kids shit.

My answer, go to the dad. I'm not paying for your burden.

Single mothers are more fuck material than dating material.

Plus to many men around the world outside the west, the idea of caring for another man's child's, disgusts many men. Men that are not yet pulled or cucked would never allow it.

Now you can flame me and block me."

If those are the types of women you've had relationships with it's no wonder you don't want to meet another the same. Some women see men as cash cows. Some get pregnant on purpose for that reason.

Lots of women only meet men for a fuck and wouldn't date them so I don't know why you'd be flamed for saying the same.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Nah. Every single mother I've been with has started off cool then when they think they have me start asking me to pay baby sitters, help with rent, buy their kids shit.

My answer, go to the dad. I'm not paying for your burden.

Single mothers are more fuck material than dating material.

Plus to many men around the world outside the west, the idea of caring for another man's child's, disgusts many men. Men that are not yet pulled or cucked would never allow it.

Now you can flame me and block me.

If those are the types of women you've had relationships with it's no wonder you don't want to meet another the same. Some women see men as cash cows. Some get pregnant on purpose for that reason.

Lots of women only meet men for a fuck and wouldn't date them so I don't know why you'd be flamed for saying the same.

He was rude and unnecessary. Sorry but even if he had an issue, to say they are only fuck material is unacceptable.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So there are a lot of YouTube channels that urge men not to date single mothers - MGTOW, Red Pill, MRAs. I'm not saying any of them are right, I'm just saying they exist in large volumes. Their main point is that a single mother is never going to treat you / the man equally to her child. So essentially the deal is that you get to be a provider for someone you play second fiddle to.

So really just interested in reactions, no judgement here either. Do you think they have a point and how did you mitigate this issue in real life? "

Don't agree - I used to date a single mother...then we got married!

I'm sure there are examples where some single mums behave in that way, just as I'm sure there are examples where married/biological father's are treated in that manner.

As a step-father myself, I have never felt I am second fiddle to my daughter.

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By *evil_u_knowMan over a year ago

city

I have dated single mums.

Things I avoid are women who talk badly about their ex. If we hit it off and things go well we could spend our lives together, and on date one I don't want to hear about some asshole that will be popping into my life every christmas and upsetting the kids.

I avoid women who have kids with people from abroad. There are a few issues here, the dad might not be around, the child might not want to be culturally european/irish/british. It's not somehting I would be interested in.

What I would like to hear from the woman is.

"Yeah I have a child, me and a guy fell in love and we gave it a good go but it didn't work. He lives close by, hes settled close by, hes a nice guy, and he takes part in the kids life"

or something along them lines.

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By *ion78Man over a year ago

Erith

I agree i know quite a few single mums and they still deserve respect they still are a lady

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Me being a single guy i would not date a single mother

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Nah. Every single mother I've been with has started off cool then when they think they have me start asking me to pay baby sitters, help with rent, buy their kids shit.

My answer, go to the dad. I'm not paying for your burden.

Single mothers are more fuck material than dating material.

Plus to many men around the world outside the west, the idea of caring for another man's child's, disgusts many men. Men that are not yet pulled or cucked would never allow it.

Now you can flame me and block me."

Any man that referred to my child as a burden would be eating all his meals through a straw.

Love how all the blame is with the woman as well like it's her fault the relationship with the child's father didn't work out. Would a woman be more respected and date worthy by you people if she said to the father nah fuck this you have the kid, I'm gonna live my life free and single. Seems like scum bag men that have these views think it's ok for the fathers of these children to be absent and void of any responsibilities yet a woman that keeps the child is undateable and only worth a fuck. Makes no sense. Men that fuck about with single mothers are the lowest of the low, not only do these mothers have to deal with being shit on and being made to feel shit but they have to endure this whilst keeping a cool head and painting on a happy smile for their children. If guys want to be fuck anyone around and essentially use people they should seek out single women with no children or responsibilities who only have to be responsible for themselves and can wallow on their own to get over ill treatment from scum bag men.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Nah. Every single mother I've been with has started off cool then when they think they have me start asking me to pay baby sitters, help with rent, buy their kids shit.

My answer, go to the dad. I'm not paying for your burden.

Single mothers are more fuck material than dating material.

Plus to many men around the world outside the west, the idea of caring for another man's child's, disgusts many men. Men that are not yet pulled or cucked would never allow it.

Now you can flame me and block me.

You’re not worth the ban "

Nice chap there.... Not

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By *layfulfoxMan over a year ago

nowhere

"Is it the same for single fathers?"

For me yes, I would without doubt put my daughter before anyone

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've been a single father for 8 years, kids are 18 and 19 now. When I was first on my own with them I thought women would appreciate a man who loved and cared, worked hard to provide for his children but how wrong was I?

This is why I've been single for so long and used fab"

Well I applaud you. My dad raised me alone,and I think he did a fine job. Being a single mum is hard, it's harder for single dads....XX fb

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am a single mum and I don't need a "provider".

That's an archaic attitude.

I want an equal, a lover and a friend but I don't and will never put them above my child, but any man of worth wouldn't expect or ask that of me."

This.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is why I've been single for so long and used fab

Well I applaud you. My dad raised me alone,and I think he did a fine job. Being a single mum is hard, it's harder for single dads....XX fb"

Why is it harder for single Dads? This thread has proved the attitudes towards single mothers, how they're only good for fuck material not to date. Single mothers are accused of wanting to snare these eligible men so they can raise their children and pay for them. Single Dads just seem to get a pat on the back and respect for doing the same job.

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By *loswingersCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

"Nah. Every single mother I've been with has started off cool then when they think they have me start asking me to pay baby sitters, help with rent, buy their kids shit.

My answer, go to the dad. I'm not paying for your burden.

Single mothers are more fuck material than dating material.

Plus to many men around the world outside the west, the idea of caring for another man's child's, disgusts many men. Men that are not yet pulled or cucked would never allow it.

Now you can flame me and block me.

Any man that referred to my child as a burden would be eating all his meals through a straw.

I agree that the suggestion the child is a burden is wrong .

However there are plenty of single mums and dads on here who prefer to use the site for nsa sex . They don’t want a relationship as it would interfere with their parenting choices . Which is much the same as he said about them being fuck material . It works both ways I guess .

There’s as much vitriol in your post as his , and you seem to be forgetting that there are plenty of single dads on here too .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A single parent close friend of mine that has main custody of his kids does find it difficult to keep any relationship going for long because of putting his kids first.

Mainly when his ex messes about with the days that she is supposed to have them and then cancels or tries to rearrange (especially in the school hols). To his credit he wants his kids to have contact with their mum and tries his best to shift things about, often to his own detriment.

I've found myself wishing I'd had a dad even half as dedicated as him. And I'm not sure that if I were in his shoes I would be up to the amazing job that he does raising them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Nah. Every single mother I've been with has started off cool then when they think they have me start asking me to pay baby sitters, help with rent, buy their kids shit.

My answer, go to the dad. I'm not paying for your burden.

Single mothers are more fuck material than dating material.

Plus to many men around the world outside the west, the idea of caring for another man's child's, disgusts many men. Men that are not yet pulled or cucked would never allow it.

Now you can flame me and block me.

Any man that referred to my child as a burden would be eating all his meals through a straw.

I agree that the suggestion the child is a burden is wrong .

There’s as much vitriol in your post as his , and you seem to be forgetting that there are plenty of single dads on here too ."

People using this site for NSA sex because they don't want relationships is nothing like saying an entire group of people, namely single mothers are fuck material not dating material. As for my post being vitriolic you know I don't give a shit about that, I'd have said worse if I was allowed to.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is not the first time that a thread about single mums (specifically, i know we have single dads here too) has garnered so much negativity.

The average single mum/dad is someone doing their best for their child, in quite often financially hard circumstances with very little support emotionally. It aint easy raising kids when there are two of you working as a team, it’s especially challenging doing it alone.

Some of the comments and bitterness on this thread aimed at single parents are, quite frankly, appalling.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Nah. Every single mother I've been with has started off cool then when they think they have me start asking me to pay baby sitters, help with rent, buy their kids shit.

My answer, go to the dad. I'm not paying for your burden.

Single mothers are more fuck material than dating material.

Plus to many men around the world outside the west, the idea of caring for another man's child's, disgusts many men. Men that are not yet pulled or cucked would never allow it.

Now you can flame me and block me.

Any man that referred to my child as a burden would be eating all his meals through a straw.

I agree that the suggestion the child is a burden is wrong .

There’s as much vitriol in your post as his , and you seem to be forgetting that there are plenty of single dads on here too .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As a guy I’d never expect to be put before her child. Personally if that’s the way somebody thinks it shows a lot about their character and immaturity more than anything.

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By *atural-born-thrillerMan over a year ago

oulton broad

Well I’m a single dad .have been for years .my sons are now 21 and 19 .it has had its moments but you just smile and plod along. fab Is just a jovial hobby not an obsession .i think everyone struggles to a certain extent when it’s comes to meeting people as you may get offers but not everyone’s going to appeal x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is why I've been single for so long and used fab

Well I applaud you. My dad raised me alone,and I think he did a fine job. Being a single mum is hard, it's harder for single dads....XX fb

The thread as a whole has lots of generalisations in it.

‘Twas only a matter of time before someone came along and said something reallh detrimental towards single mums, otherwise it’s been a pretty mixed bag with some interesting POV’s.

Re single dads getting a ‘pat on the back’ & ‘respect’ probably happens because raising children isn’t looked on to be the most natural thing in the world for men, they are generally in the bread winner & provider roles as opposed to a nurturing one.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Quite frankly if s single Mum put me before her Kid(s) I’d be disappointed and shocked. And I’d probably finish the relationship.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've been a single mum for 13 years... dated one person in that time and my kids always came first. I wouldn't ever move a man in and he was happy with that.

Not sure if I will bother with another relationship as it's just been 5 years that I have wasted.

Most of my single mum friends have ended up dating single dad's. And merging the families.

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

To people saying "my kids come first", what are the most common conflicts you've had to put them first in?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To people saying "my kids come first", what are the most common conflicts you've had to put them first in? "

I've been single for all of my child's life so haven't got experience of living with a man. I have dating experience but I manage my time efficiently. I meet with the guys I've been dating on weekends when she's with her father or if they wanted to go to the cinema or for a meal in the week my mum or sister will come over when my child's in bed and I go out for a few hours.

I suppose if a guy wanted to see me at specific times in the week and they clashed with one of my daughters classes, if another parent couldn't take her to a class (as we often take each other's kids) then that would be an example of when my child has to come first, she competes at a high level in kickboxing just like I used to so sporting activities will always come first.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Most of my single mum friends have ended up dating single dad's. And merging the families. "

I have some friends who did this and it has been a great success. I'd like this too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd prefer to date someone that already has a child because they're more understanding.

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By *ire_bladeMan over a year ago

Manchester

"I'd prefer to date someone that already has a child because they're more understanding. "

I agree

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd prefer to date someone that already has a child because they're more understanding. "

I think this would be true of many

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By *heladyandthelibertineCouple over a year ago

Reading

"To people saying "my kids come first", what are the most common conflicts you've had to put them first in? "

I saw up post that you mentioned that you have kids. Can YOU give an example of a common conflict where you would put your kids first? If not- why not?

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"To people saying "my kids come first", what are the most common conflicts you've had to put them first in?

I saw up post that you mentioned that you have kids. Can YOU give an example of a common conflict where you would put your kids first? If not- why not? "

I don't really understand the question. I'm not single. Why would I ever have to put my kids before their mother?

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP Couple over a year ago

Basingstoke

"To people saying "my kids come first", what are the most common conflicts you've had to put them first in?

Being restricted on times isn't a big ask really. If you were a chef then you wouldn't be available when most people want you to be, that's life.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To people saying "my kids come first", what are the most common conflicts you've had to put them first in?

I saw up post that you mentioned that you have kids. Can YOU give an example of a common conflict where you would put your kids first? If not- why not?

I don't really understand the question. I'm not single. Why would I ever have to put my kids before their mother? "

I saw this book release on my Facebook feed earlier today, it made me think of this thread.

“Her Last Tomorrow” - Adam Croft.

Could you murder your wife to save your daughter?

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By *otBunsHunWoman over a year ago

Yorkshire

My daughter is almost 10 and our home is her safe space. ....her dad is bloody useless and upsets her all the time....I don't date as I just can't give a relationship what it needs....she will ALWAYS come before before any man ....she's my responsibility and I love her....as she gets older there will be more time and energy as she will need me less

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By *heladyandthelibertineCouple over a year ago

Reading

"To people saying "my kids come first", what are the most common conflicts you've had to put them first in?

I saw up post that you mentioned that you have kids. Can YOU give an example of a common conflict where you would put your kids first? If not- why not?

You asked upthread what common conflicts arise from single parenting- I am asking you, as a married man with children, what conflicts arise between you and your mrs that would make you want to put your children first. It baffles me that you can’t think of a single one.

I don't really understand the question. I'm not single. Why would I ever have to put my kids before their mother? "

If you lack the imagination to ask that question seriously - I don’t really know why I should be bothered to answer.

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By *illen5Man over a year ago

Bath

So really just interested in reactions, no judgement here either. Do you think they have a point and how did you mitigate this issue in real life? "

The child is always going to come first,no matter what. That's perfectly natural.

The man has to be accept this and be understanding and supporting to a point.

Only the child is expected to be selfish. We just have to be considerate and sensitive to the needs of others.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Love tired single mums who put in the effort to go on a night out

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By *illen5Man over a year ago

Bath

Sorry, didn't mean to sound all new age man. But if you're an older man,you'll jump at the chance of someone younger (which likely they will be if they have children)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sorry, didn't mean to sound all new age man. But if you're an older man,you'll jump at the chance of someone younger (which likely they will be if they have children)"

What?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So really just interested in reactions, no judgement here either. Do you think they have a point and how did you mitigate this issue in real life? "

Single mums just can’t win.. it’s like being a second class citizen

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By *illen5Man over a year ago

Bath

Sometimes, can be nice to go out as a family,especially if your old family has turned their backs on you, hates loathes and despises you and wishes you were dead. ..

um......too much info? not quite fab enough haha

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sometimes, can be nice to go out as a family,especially if your old family has turned their backs on you, hates loathes and despises you and wishes you were dead. ..

um......too much info? not quite fab enough haha"

Sorry to hear bro

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By *illen5Man over a year ago

Bath

"Love tired single mums who put in the effort to go on a night out

Haha. If only things were that simple

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By *illen5Man over a year ago

Bath

"Sometimes, can be nice to go out as a family,especially if your old family has turned their backs on you, hates loathes and despises you and wishes you were dead. ..

um......too much info? not quite fab enough haha

Sorry to hear bro"

Cheers bud, it is what it is.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sometimes, can be nice to go out as a family,especially if your old family has turned their backs on you, hates loathes and despises you and wishes you were dead. ..

um......too much info? not quite fab enough haha

Sorry to hear bro

Cheers bud, it is what it is."

In short: enjoy your life

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By *illen5Man over a year ago

Bath

Our views depend upon our vantage point. How far we have travelled and the distance yet to go.

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By *illen5Man over a year ago

Bath

"Sometimes, can be nice to go out as a family,especially if your old family has turned their backs on you, hates loathes and despises you and wishes you were dead. ..

um......too much info? not quite fab enough haha

Sorry to hear bro

Cheers bud, it is what it is.

In short: enjoy your life

Too true. Enjoy our time here, be kind to small creatures and dont sweat the small stuff.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sometimes, can be nice to go out as a family,especially if your old family has turned their backs on you, hates loathes and despises you and wishes you were dead. ..

um......too much info? not quite fab enough haha

Sorry to hear bro

Cheers bud, it is what it is.

In short: enjoy your life

Too true. Enjoy our time here, be kind to small creatures and dont sweat the small stuff."

Yes and fuck the bitches

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By *illen5Man over a year ago

Bath

"Sometimes, can be nice to go out as a family,especially if your old family has turned their backs on you, hates loathes and despises you and wishes you were dead. ..

um......too much info? not quite fab enough haha

Sorry to hear bro

Cheers bud, it is what it is.

In short: enjoy your life

Too true. Enjoy our time here, be kind to small creatures and dont sweat the small stuff.

Yes and fuck the bitches

Haha you're cracking me up. I fear we are on slightly different missions bananaman

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sometimes, can be nice to go out as a family,especially if your old family has turned their backs on you, hates loathes and despises you and wishes you were dead. ..

um......too much info? not quite fab enough haha

Sorry to hear bro

Cheers bud, it is what it is.

In short: enjoy your life

Too true. Enjoy our time here, be kind to small creatures and dont sweat the small stuff.

Yes and fuck the bitches

Haha you're cracking me up. I fear we are on slightly different missions bananaman "

Twice

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You need to get off YouTube

On the flip side, YouTube is better for staying up to date on cultural and social movements, as the tabloid press is dying and simply parrotts off of one another.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Even when i was with my sons father, my son came first! So whats the difference

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

Love single mums

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Was very happy bringing up my kids on my own ... never had time to date as life was far too full! Also a worrying statistic for me was abuse of any sort is much higher in step family situations so never ever wanted to be in that situation ...

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