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Weird confessions
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What is something weird you did as a child?
One of the weird things I did was that I told some of my friends that Hayley Williams from Paramore was my oldest stepsister. Paramore wasn’t a big band at the time at all, I had seen a few pictures of her ‘cool hair’ on google and thought she was pretty. I must have been about seven or eight at the time 
What weird confessions do you have relating to your childhood? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I had an invisible friend called Lewis for some reason. Though my mum later found out that my great great grandad was called Lewis. "
How long were you two friends for? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Childhood confessions? I used to have a stash of porn mags hidden in a black bin bag in the undergrowth of my local golf club. I liked to read them hidden in the bushes on hot sunny days. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Childhood confessions? I used to have a stash of porn mags hidden in a black bin bag in the undergrowth of my local golf club. I liked to read them hidden in the bushes on hot sunny days. "
As a child? How old?   |
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"What is something weird you did as a child?
One of the weird things I did was that I told some of my friends that Hayley Williams from Paramore was my oldest stepsister. Paramore wasn’t a big band at the time at all, I had seen a few pictures of her ‘cool hair’ on google and thought she was pretty. I must have been about seven or eight at the time
What weird confessions do you have relating to your childhood?"
When I was *very* young I 'worked out' that the only way Father Christmas could enter our house must be via the toilet as it was the largest and most secret portal from the outside I could think of for him to use given that all our fireplaces had been boarded up. I still actually remember sitting on the loo and looking at the pipes in excited anticipation. Obviously, because he was magic, he could make himself smaller and wouldn't suffer in any way, shape or form from this unorthodox method of travel via a soil pipe and sewers  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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3 doors down lived Mrs Morton she was the archetypal 'nosey neighbour' and often grassed us up to our parents for smoking or other stuff.. anyway she had a perfect little front garden and was particularly proud of her gnomes... so one eve at dusk me and my mate took one of her gnomes and put it in another garden ... it caused quite a rumpus .. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"3 doors down lived Mrs Morton she was the archetypal 'nosey neighbour' and often grassed us up to our parents for smoking or other stuff.. anyway she had a perfect little front garden and was particularly proud of her gnomes... so one eve at dusk me and my mate took one of her gnomes and put it in another garden ... it caused quite a rumpus .. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh god here we go. I once tried to get myself off with an inflatable sofa.
A lads mag suggested an arm band but all I had was the sofa.  "
Did it work? |
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"Oh god here we go. I once tried to get myself off with an inflatable sofa.
A lads mag suggested an arm band but all I had was the sofa.
Did it work?"
Fuck yeah but it didn’t half make a noise.  Must have looked a sight. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Two things spring to mind, both times I was in Primary School.
1. I told someone in my class after hitting a bizarre Dolly Parton fangirl stage, that my real name was in fact Jolene. It took a really long time (half hour?) to persuade her this was true.
2. I told a friend in class (jokingly) that I had pooped myself. I thought they would laugh about it and they’d realise I hadn’t. Instead out of nowhere came this sense of concern about me and they went and told our class teacher, who called me outside and sensitively tried to enquire about whether I had really pooed myself. Talk about awkward!! |
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By *rozacMan
over a year ago
london |
i think when i was like 6 i used to get myself off by lying down on the rug with my hand down my pants and rubbing my body up and down.
Many a time my mum would shout at me for doing 'rudies' on the carpet
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I really wanted braces as a kid, I used to use paperclips and straighten them to turn them into braces. Did this when I was in primary school, until a teacher caught me out, and looking back was a bitch about it too, she embarrassed me in front of loads of kids.
That and I also hated wearing underwear, would never put it on! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Used to sleep round my nan and grandad's house on a Friday night and always asked to take the little woods catalogue up to bed with so I could stare at the ladies in bras and knickers for hours. Spring/summer was better as it had bikinis too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My best friend and I used to spend every morning break for a whole term repeatedly jumping off a large tree stump, wildly flapping our arms in order to perfect the art of unaided flight. We would stroll back to the classroom congratulating one another that we’d gone a bit further each day. We firmly believed that by the end of term we’d be flying around the school to the awe and admiration of our classmates, nay, the world. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh! My barbies had a lot of lesbian sex. How my parents didn't realise that I'd grow up not quite straight I have no idea... "
Me and my friends used to make our bratz dolls bully the barbies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh! My barbies had a lot of lesbian sex. How my parents didn't realise that I'd grow up not quite straight I have no idea... "
Oh, mine too (I’d forgotten that). Though mine were Sindy dolls as my mother wouldn’t allow me to have Barbie as she was ‘a slut’. My mother had very precise views on many things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I used to pinch a bottle of orange juice or milk every morning on the way to school "
I did that all through secondary school, orange juice only though.
I added 3 extra middle names to my name from 7 to about 15, because I found my name too boring.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I used to pinch a bottle of orange juice or milk every morning on the way to school
I did that all through secondary school, orange juice only though.
I added 3 extra middle names to my name from 7 to about 15, because I found my name too boring.
"
I used to work in a nursery and an adorable little girl had TWENTY SIX middle names. One of them was Scotland, another was Pete. |
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"I used to pinch a bottle of orange juice or milk every morning on the way to school
I did that all through secondary school, orange juice only though.
I added 3 extra middle names to my name from 7 to about 15, because I found my name too boring.
I used to work in a nursery and an adorable little girl had TWENTY SIX middle names. One of them was Scotland, another was Pete. "
I knew a guy, one of his 3 middle names was bilbo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Once stole a pork & pickle pie out of a old granny’s shoppping trolley as she took the last one lord forgive me for I have sinned
Disgraceful!!!"
I know!   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I used to pinch a bottle of orange juice or milk every morning on the way to school
I did that all through secondary school, orange juice only though.
I added 3 extra middle names to my name from 7 to about 15, because I found my name too boring.
I used to work in a nursery and an adorable little girl had TWENTY SIX middle names. One of them was Scotland, another was Pete. "
I knew I could have squeezed a few more in there. Not sure either of those would have been choices though. |
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"Oh, also, same mate and I permanently changed the course of a river building a rock jetty to fish off lol
Why"
we didn't realise it would happen when we made it having since studied hydo and fluid dynamics it seems obvious :/ |
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"Right from an early age I had a thing for taking stuff apart, so much so that the day after birthdays or Christmas I would no longer have any original presents, just a large pile of parts... "
I took the hoover to pieces when I was 7. Though in my defence I did put it back together again
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"Right from an early age I had a thing for taking stuff apart, so much so that the day after birthdays or Christmas I would no longer have any original presents, just a large pile of parts... I took the hoover to pieces when I was 7. Though in my defence I did put it back together again "
Congratulations... Most of the stuff I took apart tended to stay .. apart.. |
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"Right from an early age I had a thing for taking stuff apart, so much so that the day after birthdays or Christmas I would no longer have any original presents, just a large pile of parts... I took the hoover to pieces when I was 7. Though in my defence I did put it back together again
Congratulations... Most of the stuff I took apart tended to stay .. apart.. "
there were a couple of bit that didn't make it back in. As per any DIY repair lol |
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"Right from an early age I had a thing for taking stuff apart, so much so that the day after birthdays or Christmas I would no longer have any original presents, just a large pile of parts... I took the hoover to pieces when I was 7. Though in my defence I did put it back together again
Congratulations... Most of the stuff I took apart tended to stay .. apart.. there were a couple of bit that didn't make it back in. As per any DIY repair lol"
Hahahaha yeah I've been there a fair few times lol |
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When I was at primary school I was fascinated by the Space Shuttle missions that were just getting going at the time. I took a small block of polystyrene into school and tried to pass it off as a heat shield tile from the Shuttle that NASA had sent me - complete with my own felt-tip scribblings of NASA on the front . Oh, and I also used to crawl under the teachers desk so I could look up her dress  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My best friend and I used to spend every morning break for a whole term repeatedly jumping off a large tree stump, wildly flapping our arms in order to perfect the art of unaided flight. We would stroll back to the classroom congratulating one another that we’d gone a bit further each day. We firmly believed that by the end of term we’d be flying around the school to the awe and admiration of our classmates, nay, the world. "
LOL! This is incredibly sweet ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I was 7/8 we used to have a very large drum at the bottom of our garden that I used to climb into and lie in there cramped up and talk to my imaginary friend. We'd pretend we were hideaways on a ship going to England to marry Prince William. I'd sit there for hours.. I think occasionally even peed whilst in there.
I made it to England.. alas William married someone else !
I still enjoy lying in small dark spaces though ! |
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