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Relevance of intimacy
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What relevance does intimacy hold with you? What does is mean to you? Is sex viewed to you as covenant forming, or is it viewed on the same level as a kiss? What is it's purpose in your eyes? What role does it play in your having sex with people from fab? |
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If sex isn’t intimate then for me it’s cold and unenjoyable. I’m not looking for a life partner but I’m not looking for crap sex either.
I like the connection. The smiles during sex. The giggles if they occur. The experience of joy shared between two willing participants having great sex. That can’t be achieved without a degree of intimacy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If sex isn’t intimate then for me it’s cold and unenjoyable. I’m not looking for a life partner but I’m not looking for crap sex either.
I like the connection. The smiles during sex. The giggles if they occur. The experience of joy shared between two willing participants having great sex. That can’t be achieved without a degree of intimacy. "
Exactly this.  |
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By *rwolfMan
over a year ago
bristol |
Intimacy can be anything from sofa cuddles watching a film to sex.
Go to basics... Sex is simply putting a round thing in a round hole, its what we do as people which make it intimate whether its kissing, snuggling or more |
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"If sex isn’t intimate then for me it’s cold and unenjoyable. I’m not looking for a life partner but I’m not looking for crap sex either.
I like the connection. The smiles during sex. The giggles if they occur. The experience of joy shared between two willing participants having great sex. That can’t be achieved without a degree of intimacy. "
. This gets my vote x otherwise it’s pretty meaningless and mr pink won’t cone out to play he refuses to cooperate x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What relevance does intimacy hold with you? What does is mean to you? Is sex viewed to you as covenant forming, or is it viewed on the same level as a kiss? What is it's purpose in your eyes? What role does it play in your having sex with people from fab?"
It's all very intimate some like to say it's not and deny kissing to further cement that image but as soon as a man inserts his body part into a woman's vag it becomes very intimate
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
For me sex needs to be intimate. I need to feel a connection and a desire from the person I’m with. And similarly I want to be able to express desire and get to know someone mentally as well as physically. Playfulness and exploration of the other are what does it for me.
I’m not interested in just showing up and fucking. |
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Intimacy means different things to different people. To me it means a very close physical and mental connection with someone I love.
Intimacy by my definition will never occur with a casual partner.
Fun, enjoyable sexual encounters will but a true connection...never. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To me
Pleasure of sex is... Not just the physical side that is a bonus thing I feel. Its like icing on a cake if penetrative sex feels awesome.
There is though a lot more pleasure that people can give. Non sexually.
Foreplay is hardly ever mentioned in a text or message or much discussed in the forum.
I'd like to think that who I meet wants to be sexual with me but I certainly do not entertain those who think one or two messages equal a meet. Some guys think we are fucking machines.
Foreplay is so underrated but I love it. No its not just stripping off and cock teasing. It's the way the intimacy starts and then leads to awesome sex and even that for some guys is hard work.
Loving the mind
Pleasuring the mind can lead to awesome sex.
Kind regards |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me sex needs to be intimate. I need to feel a connection and a desire from the person I’m with. And similarly I want to be able to express desire and get to know someone mentally as well as physically. Playfulness and exploration of the other are what does it for me.
I’m not interested in just showing up and fucking. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me sex needs to be intimate. I need to feel a connection and a desire from the person I’m with. And similarly I want to be able to express desire and get to know someone mentally as well as physically. Playfulness and exploration of the other are what does it for me.
I’m not interested in just showing up and fucking. "
Hehe well said that man.
Exactly how it should be. I am not a fucking machine waiting on the next guy to say are you opening today.  |
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"For me sex needs to be intimate. I need to feel a connection and a desire from the person I’m with. And similarly I want to be able to express desire and get to know someone mentally as well as physically. Playfulness and exploration of the other are what does it for me.
I’m not interested in just showing up and fucking. "
I think there's a range in between that. Temporary intimacy if you like. I could never achieve in a few hours, days or even weeks the level of intimacy Mr N and I enjoy. I think it would be wrong to label what we experience with our (respected and appreciated) casual partners. However we don't just turn up and fuck either although I don't think it's wrong if people do. |
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"For me sex needs to be intimate. I need to feel a connection and a desire from the person I’m with. And similarly I want to be able to express desire and get to know someone mentally as well as physically. Playfulness and exploration of the other are what does it for me.
I’m not interested in just showing up and fucking.
I think there's a range in between that. Temporary intimacy if you like. I could never achieve in a few hours, days or even weeks the level of intimacy Mr N and I enjoy. I think it would be wrong to label what we experience with our (respected and appreciated) casual partners. However we don't just turn up and fuck either although I don't think it's wrong if people do."
To label as intimacy, I shouldn't have written. |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
"For me sex needs to be intimate. I need to feel a connection and a desire from the person I’m with. And similarly I want to be able to express desire and get to know someone mentally as well as physically. Playfulness and exploration of the other are what does it for me.
I’m not interested in just showing up and fucking.
I think there's a range in between that. Temporary intimacy if you like. I could never achieve in a few hours, days or even weeks the level of intimacy Mr N and I enjoy. I think it would be wrong to label what we experience with our (respected and appreciated) casual partners. However we don't just turn up and fuck either although I don't think it's wrong if people do."
Yes, I agree with you. Intimacy is linked to knowing someone and that gets deeper with time. |
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"What relevance does intimacy hold with you? What does is mean to you? Is sex viewed to you as covenant forming, or is it viewed on the same level as a kiss? What is it's purpose in your eyes? What role does it play in your having sex with people from fab?"
Interesting choice of words, 'covenant forming'. I'm my view there is physical intimacy and emotional intimacy and they can be very different things.
But I do hold the view that sex is a bigger deal than people realise, and there are bonds formed quite apart from the emotional. But I accept this view will not be popular here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can behave in an intimate way. Have a strong connection/bond with someone but for me i only get true intimacy from the man i love"
Very much this, true intimacy comes with time shared together. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I avoid intimacy... yet never been accused of being cold.. I'm playful and teasing.. Will caress and touch but prefer not to be touched in return much of the time. I do not kiss other men majority of the time either.... yet had people that have met me numerous times who had never noticed.
I don't do what I'd call partners sex with meets... due to something from my past. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Intimacy can be anything from sofa cuddles watching a film to sex.
Go to basics... Sex is simply putting a round thing in a round hole, its what we do as people which make it intimate whether its kissing, snuggling or more "
Which is what might put me off swinging as a couple later in life. I'm not the owner of a convenient hole for someone else's partner, and I wouldn't want my partner viewing another woman as a convenient hole, no matter how friendly we were to each other. |
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"What relevance does intimacy hold with you? What does is mean to you? Is sex viewed to you as covenant forming, or is it viewed on the same level as a kiss? What is it's purpose in your eyes? What role does it play in your having sex with people from fab?
Interesting choice of words, 'covenant forming'. I'm my view there is physical intimacy and emotional intimacy and they can be very different things.
But I do hold the view that sex is a bigger deal than people realise, and there are bonds formed quite apart from the emotional. But I accept this view will not be popular here."
what kind of bonds do you think are formed |
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"What relevance does intimacy hold with you? What does is mean to you? Is sex viewed to you as covenant forming, or is it viewed on the same level as a kiss? What is it's purpose in your eyes? What role does it play in your having sex with people from fab?
Interesting choice of words, 'covenant forming'. I'm my view there is physical intimacy and emotional intimacy and they can be very different things.
But I do hold the view that sex is a bigger deal than people realise, and there are bonds formed quite apart from the emotional. But I accept this view will not be popular here.what kind of bonds do you think are formed"
Spiritual. But that is a contentious view I realise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Iv realised more and more i cant do machanical sex i need wow factor and passion if that is intimasy then that too
I need to be able to get lost in the other person otherwise why bother id sooner have a wank |
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"What relevance does intimacy hold with you? What does is mean to you? Is sex viewed to you as covenant forming, or is it viewed on the same level as a kiss? What is it's purpose in your eyes? What role does it play in your having sex with people from fab?
Interesting choice of words, 'covenant forming'. I'm my view there is physical intimacy and emotional intimacy and they can be very different things.
But I do hold the view that sex is a bigger deal than people realise, and there are bonds formed quite apart from the emotional. But I accept this view will not be popular here.what kind of bonds do you think are formed
Spiritual. But that is a contentious view I realise."
no. In always fascinated by your views on sex and relationships as they are the polar opposite to mine it gives me an incite to others views |
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"What relevance does intimacy hold with you? What does is mean to you? Is sex viewed to you as covenant forming, or is it viewed on the same level as a kiss? What is it's purpose in your eyes? What role does it play in your having sex with people from fab?
Interesting choice of words, 'covenant forming'. I'm my view there is physical intimacy and emotional intimacy and they can be very different things.
But I do hold the view that sex is a bigger deal than people realise, and there are bonds formed quite apart from the emotional. But I accept this view will not be popular here.what kind of bonds do you think are formed
Spiritual. But that is a contentious view I realise.no. In always fascinated by your views on sex and relationships as they are the polar opposite to mine it gives me an incite to others views"
Good for you!  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I think there are different kinds and levels of intimacy as someone said upthread - there's that which you hold with a life partner that really is the pinnacle and holds a special place when or if you find it - and can be quite crushing when you lose it.
Then there's the kind of intimacy we find on here through meets - now that can vary for each of us as individuals, and even between different meets - personally I just can't do the completely cold, sex for the sake of sex level - it leaves me far from satisfied, but appreciate there are those that can.
The way I view it, when I meet someone I step into a bubble with them - one in which I am 100% with that person, but fully conscious of my life outside that bubble - it allows me to find a level of intimacy with that person that elevates things beyond pure sex, but keeps me grounded enough that I don't lose sight of my life and responsibilities outside of the bubble. Then at the end of a meet when I step back outside the bubble again I go back to my day to day life but still hold the memory of my time inside the bubble.
It's also why I usually take my time finding people I want to share that bubble with, which allows a connection and chemistry to build that can only lead to the level of intimacy I'm talking about once we step inside.
There's then another level of intimacy, which is when I go to clubs and meet people there, which is a little more akin to just having sex for the sake of it - but I still manage to find a level of intimacy from it - most probably because when I have done in the past it has usually been with my partner so we already have an intimacy between us - and that leads to the intimacy with our chosen play partners, or alternately because I've been meeting someone there with whom a level of connection and chemistry has been built that in itself lends to the intimacy. |
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Intimacy becomes apparent in this environment, to me ,in the inbetween spaces.
The quiet moments catching your breath, heart beating fast where if you have intimacy there's the stroking and nuzzling of favourite dips the slow tracing of familiar skin.
If it's a new thing the lack of intimacy means those moments are more inclined to be lighthearted and chatty ,less reflective.
I like both x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think there are different kinds and levels of intimacy as someone said upthread - there's that which you hold with a life partner that really is the pinnacle and holds a special place when or if you find it - and can be quite crushing when you lose it.
Then there's the kind of intimacy we find on here through meets - now that can vary for each of us as individuals, and even between different meets - personally I just can't do the completely cold, sex for the sake of sex level - it leaves me far from satisfied, but appreciate there are those that can.
The way I view it, when I meet someone I step into a bubble with them - one in which I am 100% with that person, but fully conscious of my life outside that bubble - it allows me to find a level of intimacy with that person that elevates things beyond pure sex, but keeps me grounded enough that I don't lose sight of my life and responsibilities outside of the bubble. Then at the end of a meet when I step back outside the bubble again I go back to my day to day life but still hold the memory of my time inside the bubble.
It's also why I usually take my time finding people I want to share that bubble with, which allows a connection and chemistry to build that can only lead to the level of intimacy I'm talking about once we step inside.
There's then another level of intimacy, which is when I go to clubs and meet people there, which is a little more akin to just having sex for the sake of it - but I still manage to find a level of intimacy from it - most probably because when I have done in the past it has usually been with my partner so we already have an intimacy between us - and that leads to the intimacy with our chosen play partners, or alternately because I've been meeting someone there with whom a level of connection and chemistry has been built that in itself lends to the intimacy."
Couldn't have said it better |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Intimacy becomes apparent in this environment, to me ,in the inbetween spaces.
The quiet moments catching your breath, heart beating fast where if you have intimacy there's the stroking and nuzzling of favourite dips the slow tracing of familiar skin.
If it's a new thing the lack of intimacy means those moments are more inclined to be lighthearted and chatty ,less reflective.
I like both x "
Yes i like that the cuddles before during after the reasuring touches |
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"What relevance does intimacy hold with you? What does is mean to you? Is sex viewed to you as covenant forming, or is it viewed on the same level as a kiss? What is it's purpose in your eyes? What role does it play in your having sex with people from fab?
Interesting choice of words, 'covenant forming'. I'm my view there is physical intimacy and emotional intimacy and they can be very different things.
But I do hold the view that sex is a bigger deal than people realise, and there are bonds formed quite apart from the emotional. But I accept this view will not be popular here.what kind of bonds do you think are formed
Spiritual. But that is a contentious view I realise.no. In always fascinated by your views on sex and relationships as they are the polar opposite to mine it gives me an incite to others views
Good for you! "
was that sarcastic? Cause i was being genuine |
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"What relevance does intimacy hold with you? What does is mean to you? Is sex viewed to you as covenant forming, or is it viewed on the same level as a kiss? What is it's purpose in your eyes? What role does it play in your having sex with people from fab?
Interesting choice of words, 'covenant forming'. I'm my view there is physical intimacy and emotional intimacy and they can be very different things.
But I do hold the view that sex is a bigger deal than people realise, and there are bonds formed quite apart from the emotional. But I accept this view will not be popular here.what kind of bonds do you think are formed
Spiritual. But that is a contentious view I realise.no. In always fascinated by your views on sex and relationships as they are the polar opposite to mine it gives me an incite to others views
Good for you! was that sarcastic? Cause i was being genuine"
No it was genuine! |
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"What relevance does intimacy hold with you? What does is mean to you? Is sex viewed to you as covenant forming, or is it viewed on the same level as a kiss? What is it's purpose in your eyes? What role does it play in your having sex with people from fab?"
I love to explore and be intimate with my partner ensuring she is enjoying herself. I find random sex dull and empty, quality over quantity. When I first join fab admittedly had quantity had to bail out and rethink my mentality towards sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like it to be as intimate as possible. For that time I will be all his to explore and familiarise himself with, as I hope I could him. The little touches you like or not, how you kiss. Some will be able to give more than others but its lovely to just cement the bond we made messaging. If its a good experience you'll always have those moments with someone else to remember |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think intimacy is central to what I'm looking for and how I approach being here. Over time, however, I'm beginning to feel the kind of intimacy I'm looking for is with someone I at least really like on a deep level or maybe even love. I'm beginning to feel I'm not so interested in being intimate with friends, let alone strangers.
I guess after being in a 20 yr long relationship I'm used to my moments of intimacy being invested in a person who I have deep feelings for and I'm not quite used to (nor sure I want to get used to) not doing that  |
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"If sex isn’t intimate then for me it’s cold and unenjoyable. I’m not looking for a life partner but I’m not looking for crap sex either.
I like the connection. The smiles during sex. The giggles if they occur. The experience of joy shared between two willing participants having great sex. That can’t be achieved without a degree of intimacy. "
Absolutely true. |
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