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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do love myself, thank God or I'd be fucking ppl I do not fancy in order to feel loved.
Btw I fuck anyone
That just means you fancy everyone  "
Aside loving myself I also love being a contradiction |
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"Do you love yourself?
Do you believe that in order for others to love you, you must first love yourself?"
Can't say I love myself , but I know I'm a nice guy, and a bit cheeky. People like me or they don't simple as !! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I met up with a friend a few days ago, and she commented I wasn’t wearing a lot of makeup (unless I have a night out I only wear mascara and lippy). I laughed and she said ‘oh well, we can’t all love ourselves’ and I was confused as to how me being too lazy to put on makeup and loving myself are linked... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you love yourself?
Do you believe that in order for others to love you, you must first love yourself?"
No I don’t, though I like some of my qualities. And no I don’t, I think someone loving you can ultimately teach you to love yourself x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you love yourself?
Do you believe that in order for others to love you, you must first love yourself?
No I don’t, though I like some of my qualities. And no I don’t, I think someone loving you can ultimately teach you to love yourself x "
I agree with the last part. I had a shitty childhood and hated myself. Being with my husband has totally helped that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met up with a friend a few days ago, and she commented I wasn’t wearing a lot of makeup (unless I have a night out I only wear mascara and lippy). I laughed and she said ‘oh well, we can’t all love ourselves’ and I was confused as to how me being too lazy to put on makeup and loving myself are linked..."
Don’t confuse vanity with love. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think we all have aspects we love, but also aspects we would like to change about ourselves. For instance, I love my creativity and can also admit that I am a good looking man. However, I do have a habit of being lazy and procrastinating for days. That I hate |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I met up with a friend a few days ago, and she commented I wasn’t wearing a lot of makeup (unless I have a night out I only wear mascara and lippy). I laughed and she said ‘oh well, we can’t all love ourselves’ and I was confused as to how me being too lazy to put on makeup and loving myself are linked...
Don’t confuse vanity with love. "
That’s exactly what I thought. I just laughed again and said ‘what’s not to love’   |
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"Do you love yourself?
Do you believe that in order for others to love you, you must first love yourself?
No I don’t, though I like some of my qualities. And no I don’t, I think someone loving you can ultimately teach you to love yourself x
I agree with the last part. I had a shitty childhood and hated myself. Being with my husband has totally helped that. "
Awww awesome . The pooches love ya too . Don't underestimate that, my Pooch is the reason I get up in the mornings x |
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There are 2 schools of thought when it comes to self esteem if we use your make up as an example.
There is the 1 school that would say that to love yourself implies doing the best for yourself and showing up at your very best hence wearing makeup, eating right, exercise etc doing all you can to better yourself and remain focused. Individuals with good self esteem always aim to improve and give themselves love.
The other school of thought says that self esteem implies a love for yourself without having a need to prove yourself to others and thus not seeking validation. It emphasises a great self value you hold yourself to rather than giving others a higher value statue than your own.
However the later is also an excuse to conceal laziness procrastination and other forms of inaction often associated with low self esteem, fear and so forth.
Your friend saw your lack of effort on your with make up and assumed the latter so for her wearing make up is a form of self esteem. She values herself by wanting to paint herself with colour as a child to be validated by others a form of low self esteem in my eyes.
True beauty stems from character and personality wisdom and words and thus true self esteem is doing good and being good to others and to yourself without seeking approval.
It's why women wear the lubaya or hijab. Not to become a sex tool but a self validating individual.
In the swinger community there are many broken people I have come across but sex has also become a tool of bypass a lack of self love.
As long as you're friend want being rude and wasn't saying anything you felt was true for you then take it as her wrong judgement but a concerned comment and smile and let it go.
Hope that helped. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you love yourself?
Do you believe that in order for others to love you, you must first love yourself?
No I don’t, though I like some of my qualities. And no I don’t, I think someone loving you can ultimately teach you to love yourself x
I agree with the last part. I had a shitty childhood and hated myself. Being with my husband has totally helped that.
Awww awesome . The pooches love ya too . Don't underestimate that, my Pooch is the reason I get up in the mornings x"
Oh they love me very much. And I love them very much too! Also the reason I get up most days. I’m off today and I got up early so me and my husband could take them for an extra walk before he goes to work can’t get enough of them x |
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Are we talking malignant self love? Or healthy unconditional self acceptance?
I am having a real problem with all of this at the moment...I think I have accepted myself & I'm ok with it, but only until someone manipulates me into self sabotage again.
Self love seems way to complex for me...so am guessing I haven't mastered it  |
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I think the most valuable lesson ive learned over the years is love yourself. This isn't oh im so pretty or look what i have. Its been able to sit with yourself quietly and be happy and content. Shit happens to everyone, never let it define you.
Love yourself, be kind to yourself, never depend on another to make you feel good, do that for yourself. If someone joins you on this journey be kind to them too, company is great  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"There are 2 schools of thought when it comes to self esteem if we use your make up as an example.
There is the 1 school that would say that to love yourself implies doing the best for yourself and showing up at your very best hence wearing makeup, eating right, exercise etc doing all you can to better yourself and remain focused. Individuals with good self esteem always aim to improve and give themselves love.
The other school of thought says that self esteem implies a love for yourself without having a need to prove yourself to others and thus not seeking validation. It emphasises a great self value you hold yourself to rather than giving others a higher value statue than your own.
However the later is also an excuse to conceal laziness procrastination and other forms of inaction often associated with low self esteem, fear and so forth.
Your friend saw your lack of effort on your with make up and assumed the latter so for her wearing make up is a form of self esteem. She values herself by wanting to paint herself with colour as a child to be validated by others a form of low self esteem in my eyes.
True beauty stems from character and personality wisdom and words and thus true self esteem is doing good and being good to others and to yourself without seeking approval.
It's why women wear the lubaya or hijab. Not to become a sex tool but a self validating individual.
In the swinger community there are many broken people I have come across but sex has also become a tool of bypass a lack of self love.
As long as you're friend want being rude and wasn't saying anything you felt was true for you then take it as her wrong judgement but a concerned comment and smile and let it go.
Hope that helped."
Oh she wasn’t saying it to be rude - well, I don’t think so anyway. She loves doing makeup and is very creative, and was dolled to the highs when we met up. I’d love to be able to apply makeup well, but I’m rubbish and too lazy to practice. I think she was being sarcastic - but it did get me thinking! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Are we talking malignant self love? Or healthy unconditional self acceptance?
I am having a real problem with all of this at the moment...I think I have accepted myself & I'm ok with it, but only until someone manipulates me into self sabotage again.
Self love seems way to complex for me...so am guessing I haven't mastered it "
All aspects of love. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love myself
In terms of body and personal I still believe in continuous improvement though, can always be better. But in terms of how I feel, yes. I am happy
So should everyone, if your not I'm always here to listen/help (as are most people here) xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met up with a friend a few days ago, and she commented I wasn’t wearing a lot of makeup (unless I have a night out I only wear mascara and lippy). I laughed and she said ‘oh well, we can’t all love ourselves’ and I was confused as to how me being too lazy to put on makeup and loving myself are linked..."
I'd say that was a very unthoughtful comment, to come from a friend, don't judge yourself too much, you seem like a beautiful young woman, and your looks are only a small percentage of that.
Jo.X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I met up with a friend a few days ago, and she commented I wasn’t wearing a lot of makeup (unless I have a night out I only wear mascara and lippy). I laughed and she said ‘oh well, we can’t all love ourselves’ and I was confused as to how me being too lazy to put on makeup and loving myself are linked...
I'd say that was a very unthoughtful comment, to come from a friend, don't judge yourself too much, you seem like a beautiful young woman, and your looks are only a small percentage of that.
Jo.X"
Oh thank you very much!
It just got me thinking as how it could be an insult. She was being sarcastic but it was an insult at the same time x |
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"Do you love yourself?
Do you believe that in order for others to love you, you must first love yourself?
No I don’t, though I like some of my qualities. And no I don’t, I think someone loving you can ultimately teach you to love yourself x
I agree with the last part. I had a shitty childhood and hated myself. Being with my husband has totally helped that.
Awww awesome . The pooches love ya too . Don't underestimate that, my Pooch is the reason I get up in the mornings x
Oh they love me very much. And I love them very much too! Also the reason I get up most days. I’m off today and I got up early so me and my husband could take them for an extra walk before he goes to work can’t get enough of them x"
Awesome  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I met up with a friend a few days ago, and she commented I wasn’t wearing a lot of makeup (unless I have a night out I only wear mascara and lippy). I laughed and she said ‘oh well, we can’t all love ourselves’ and I was confused as to how me being too lazy to put on makeup and loving myself are linked...
I'd say that was a very unthoughtful comment, to come from a friend, don't judge yourself too much, you seem like a beautiful young woman, and your looks are only a small percentage of that.
Jo.X
Oh thank you very much!
It just got me thinking as how it could be an insult. She was being sarcastic but it was an insult at the same time x"
Don’t overthink it, it was just a joke. Friends do that all the time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I met up with a friend a few days ago, and she commented I wasn’t wearing a lot of makeup (unless I have a night out I only wear mascara and lippy). I laughed and she said ‘oh well, we can’t all love ourselves’ and I was confused as to how me being too lazy to put on makeup and loving myself are linked...
I'd say that was a very unthoughtful comment, to come from a friend, don't judge yourself too much, you seem like a beautiful young woman, and your looks are only a small percentage of that.
Jo.X
Oh thank you very much!
It just got me thinking as how it could be an insult. She was being sarcastic but it was an insult at the same time x
Don’t overthink it, it was just a joke. Friends do that all the time."
Of course I wasn’t offended by it. It was just a joke. But I’ve heard many people use it as an insult before, and just wanted to know how people felt about self love |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I met up with a friend a few days ago, and she commented I wasn’t wearing a lot of makeup (unless I have a night out I only wear mascara and lippy). I laughed and she said ‘oh well, we can’t all love ourselves’ and I was confused as to how me being too lazy to put on makeup and loving myself are linked...
I'd say that was a very unthoughtful comment, to come from a friend, don't judge yourself too much, you seem like a beautiful young woman, and your looks are only a small percentage of that.
Jo.X
Oh thank you very much!
It just got me thinking as how it could be an insult. She was being sarcastic but it was an insult at the same time x
Don’t overthink it, it was just a joke. Friends do that all the time.
Of course I wasn’t offended by it. It was just a joke. But I’ve heard many people use it as an insult before, and just wanted to know how people felt about self love "
She was commenting about herself though. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I met up with a friend a few days ago, and she commented I wasn’t wearing a lot of makeup (unless I have a night out I only wear mascara and lippy). I laughed and she said ‘oh well, we can’t all love ourselves’ and I was confused as to how me being too lazy to put on makeup and loving myself are linked...
I'd say that was a very unthoughtful comment, to come from a friend, don't judge yourself too much, you seem like a beautiful young woman, and your looks are only a small percentage of that.
Jo.X
Oh thank you very much!
It just got me thinking as how it could be an insult. She was being sarcastic but it was an insult at the same time x
Don’t overthink it, it was just a joke. Friends do that all the time.
Of course I wasn’t offended by it. It was just a joke. But I’ve heard many people use it as an insult before, and just wanted to know how people felt about self love
She was commenting about herself though. "
I think it was a dig at both of us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I met up with a friend a few days ago, and she commented I wasn’t wearing a lot of makeup (unless I have a night out I only wear mascara and lippy). I laughed and she said ‘oh well, we can’t all love ourselves’ and I was confused as to how me being too lazy to put on makeup and loving myself are linked...
I'd say that was a very unthoughtful comment, to come from a friend, don't judge yourself too much, you seem like a beautiful young woman, and your looks are only a small percentage of that.
Jo.X
Oh thank you very much!
It just got me thinking as how it could be an insult. She was being sarcastic but it was an insult at the same time x
Don’t overthink it, it was just a joke. Friends do that all the time.
Of course I wasn’t offended by it. It was just a joke. But I’ve heard many people use it as an insult before, and just wanted to know how people felt about self love
She was commenting about herself though.
I think it was a dig at both of us"
I sometimes have that with my best friend. She’s Australian with no filter. She always comments about my skinny legs. What she is really saying is that I have skinny legs compared to the rest of my body. I tell her to stop going on about it. Ha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I met up with a friend a few days ago, and she commented I wasn’t wearing a lot of makeup (unless I have a night out I only wear mascara and lippy). I laughed and she said ‘oh well, we can’t all love ourselves’ and I was confused as to how me being too lazy to put on makeup and loving myself are linked...
I'd say that was a very unthoughtful comment, to come from a friend, don't judge yourself too much, you seem like a beautiful young woman, and your looks are only a small percentage of that.
Jo.X
Oh thank you very much!
It just got me thinking as how it could be an insult. She was being sarcastic but it was an insult at the same time x
Don’t overthink it, it was just a joke. Friends do that all the time.
Of course I wasn’t offended by it. It was just a joke. But I’ve heard many people use it as an insult before, and just wanted to know how people felt about self love
She was commenting about herself though.
I think it was a dig at both of us
I sometimes have that with my best friend. She’s Australian with no filter. She always comments about my skinny legs. What she is really saying is that I have skinny legs compared to the rest of my body. I tell her to stop going on about it. Ha"
Yeah it’s the same kind of thing! Just wee digs that don’t mean anything. I’ve got a flat chested friend who goes on about my boobs, I’d happily give her half if I could!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am also inclined to think she is struggling with something in her life, I've learnt that when someone is going through a particularly rough time they tend to say things that they wouldn't usually say to the people they love, again just my opinion. X |
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"I met up with a friend a few days ago, and she commented I wasn’t wearing a lot of makeup (unless I have a night out I only wear mascara and lippy). I laughed and she said ‘oh well, we can’t all love ourselves’ and I was confused as to how me being too lazy to put on makeup and loving myself are linked...
I'd say that was a very unthoughtful comment, to come from a friend, don't judge yourself too much, you seem like a beautiful young woman, and your looks are only a small percentage of that.
Jo.X
Oh thank you very much!
It just got me thinking as how it could be an insult. She was being sarcastic but it was an insult at the same time x
Don’t overthink it, it was just a joke. Friends do that all the time.
Of course I wasn’t offended by it. It was just a joke. But I’ve heard many people use it as an insult before, and just wanted to know how people felt about self love
She was commenting about herself though.
I think it was a dig at both of us
I sometimes have that with my best friend. She’s Australian with no filter. She always comments about my skinny legs. What she is really saying is that I have skinny legs compared to the rest of my body. I tell her to stop going on about it. Ha
Yeah it’s the same kind of thing! Just wee digs that don’t mean anything. I’ve got a flat chested friend who goes on about my boobs, I’d happily give her half if I could! "
When you're young, you ponder on stuff like that. When you're old you cease to care about what other people think.
So from my geriatric height, I would say who cares what she means. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I met up with a friend a few days ago, and she commented I wasn’t wearing a lot of makeup (unless I have a night out I only wear mascara and lippy). I laughed and she said ‘oh well, we can’t all love ourselves’ and I was confused as to how me being too lazy to put on makeup and loving myself are linked...
I'd say that was a very unthoughtful comment, to come from a friend, don't judge yourself too much, you seem like a beautiful young woman, and your looks are only a small percentage of that.
Jo.X
Oh thank you very much!
It just got me thinking as how it could be an insult. She was being sarcastic but it was an insult at the same time x
Don’t overthink it, it was just a joke. Friends do that all the time.
Of course I wasn’t offended by it. It was just a joke. But I’ve heard many people use it as an insult before, and just wanted to know how people felt about self love
She was commenting about herself though.
I think it was a dig at both of us
I sometimes have that with my best friend. She’s Australian with no filter. She always comments about my skinny legs. What she is really saying is that I have skinny legs compared to the rest of my body. I tell her to stop going on about it. Ha
Yeah it’s the same kind of thing! Just wee digs that don’t mean anything. I’ve got a flat chested friend who goes on about my boobs, I’d happily give her half if I could! "
I get that at work all the time. Girls saying that my boobs are massive, like I don’t know. I would never tell a flat chested girl that her boobs were tiny. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met up with a friend a few days ago, and she commented I wasn’t wearing a lot of makeup (unless I have a night out I only wear mascara and lippy). I laughed and she said ‘oh well, we can’t all love ourselves’ and I was confused as to how me being too lazy to put on makeup and loving myself are linked...
I'd say that was a very unthoughtful comment, to come from a friend, don't judge yourself too much, you seem like a beautiful young woman, and your looks are only a small percentage of that.
Jo.X
Oh thank you very much!
It just got me thinking as how it could be an insult. She was being sarcastic but it was an insult at the same time x
Don’t overthink it, it was just a joke. Friends do that all the time.
Of course I wasn’t offended by it. It was just a joke. But I’ve heard many people use it as an insult before, and just wanted to know how people felt about self love
She was commenting about herself though.
I think it was a dig at both of us
I sometimes have that with my best friend. She’s Australian with no filter. She always comments about my skinny legs. What she is really saying is that I have skinny legs compared to the rest of my body. I tell her to stop going on about it. Ha
Yeah it’s the same kind of thing! Just wee digs that don’t mean anything. I’ve got a flat chested friend who goes on about my boobs, I’d happily give her half if I could!
When you're young, you ponder on stuff like that. When you're old you cease to care about what other people think.
So from my geriatric height, I would say who cares what she means. "
Women ponder no matter what age. We just get a little bit more used to it when we are older. It still can bug the hell out of you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No ,i dont love myself
Some days i dont like myself either.
I'm working hard to change that .
Small steps but determined to be a better person for myself and my family. |
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Well the only thing you can do is look yourself in the mirror and ask do I truly love myself. Am I happy with who I am as a person both outside and inside.
Any feelings or thoughts however minor reflects your level of self love.
Makeup isn't the be all and end all lol I'm sure you love yourself but only you can know how happy you truly are x |
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"I met up with a friend a few days ago, and she commented I wasn’t wearing a lot of makeup (unless I have a night out I only wear mascara and lippy). I laughed and she said ‘oh well, we can’t all love ourselves’ and I was confused as to how me being too lazy to put on makeup and loving myself are linked...
I'd say that was a very unthoughtful comment, to come from a friend, don't judge yourself too much, you seem like a beautiful young woman, and your looks are only a small percentage of that.
Jo.X
Oh thank you very much!
It just got me thinking as how it could be an insult. She was being sarcastic but it was an insult at the same time x
Don’t overthink it, it was just a joke. Friends do that all the time.
Of course I wasn’t offended by it. It was just a joke. But I’ve heard many people use it as an insult before, and just wanted to know how people felt about self love
She was commenting about herself though.
I think it was a dig at both of us
I sometimes have that with my best friend. She’s Australian with no filter. She always comments about my skinny legs. What she is really saying is that I have skinny legs compared to the rest of my body. I tell her to stop going on about it. Ha
Yeah it’s the same kind of thing! Just wee digs that don’t mean anything. I’ve got a flat chested friend who goes on about my boobs, I’d happily give her half if I could!
When you're young, you ponder on stuff like that. When you're old you cease to care about what other people think.
So from my geriatric height, I would say who cares what she means.
Women ponder no matter what age. We just get a little bit more used to it when we are older. It still can bug the hell out of you. "
Interesting. I used to be like that, but when I hit my Forties, I ceased to care. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met up with a friend a few days ago, and she commented I wasn’t wearing a lot of makeup (unless I have a night out I only wear mascara and lippy). I laughed and she said ‘oh well, we can’t all love ourselves’ and I was confused as to how me being too lazy to put on makeup and loving myself are linked...
I'd say that was a very unthoughtful comment, to come from a friend, don't judge yourself too much, you seem like a beautiful young woman, and your looks are only a small percentage of that.
Jo.X
Oh thank you very much!
It just got me thinking as how it could be an insult. She was being sarcastic but it was an insult at the same time x
Don’t overthink it, it was just a joke. Friends do that all the time.
Of course I wasn’t offended by it. It was just a joke. But I’ve heard many people use it as an insult before, and just wanted to know how people felt about self love
She was commenting about herself though.
I think it was a dig at both of us
I sometimes have that with my best friend. She’s Australian with no filter. She always comments about my skinny legs. What she is really saying is that I have skinny legs compared to the rest of my body. I tell her to stop going on about it. Ha
Yeah it’s the same kind of thing! Just wee digs that don’t mean anything. I’ve got a flat chested friend who goes on about my boobs, I’d happily give her half if I could!
When you're young, you ponder on stuff like that. When you're old you cease to care about what other people think.
So from my geriatric height, I would say who cares what she means.
Women ponder no matter what age. We just get a little bit more used to it when we are older. It still can bug the hell out of you.
Interesting. I used to be like that, but when I hit my Forties, I ceased to care. "
I’ve got a thicker skin for sure but I think my job has something to do with that. Some of the comments are very bitchy. |
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"There are 2 schools of thought when it comes to self esteem if we use your make up as an example.
There is the 1 school that would say that to love yourself implies doing the best for yourself and showing up at your very best hence wearing makeup, eating right, exercise etc doing all you can to better yourself and remain focused. Individuals with good self esteem always aim to improve and give themselves love.
The other school of thought says that self esteem implies a love for yourself without having a need to prove yourself to others and thus not seeking validation. It emphasises a great self value you hold yourself to rather than giving others a higher value statue than your own......
True beauty stems from character and personality wisdom and words and thus true self esteem is doing good and being good to others and to yourself without seeking approval.
"
Yes, I think the latter is the greater reality, but the first is a good reflection of the outworking of it sometimes.
I'm better at the second than the first though, too much of an empath at times. |
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"Do you love yourself?
Do you believe that in order for others to love you, you must first love yourself?"
Oh and for the second part no - those who do not love themselves most need to be loved.
I was never really sure about 'You cannot love others until you love yourself' either. I'm sure many mothers disprove this for instance, fathers too for that matter. |
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