FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I should just give up right?
I should just give up right?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This is my first post - please be kind!
Have been chatting with a guy for a few months. Get on really well! He’s let me down twice now when we’ve arranged a meet.
I should just give it up right? He’s just not that into me?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Noo...just move on...he aint worth you missing out on fun. Dont let him put you off....tell yourself its his loss...and move on. It Wont be the first or last time you get let down on here though im afraid |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Let you down twice... well I would end this. Unless there was some earth quake or he stuck in Antarctica due to snow lol. I would say picture collector who never gonna meet. Had similar situation before... it was a time waster and picture collector guy. Never again. Learnt from mistakes  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fool me once, my loss, fool me twice, you're loss.
He's likely not that into anyone ir anything real, just a timewaster. You are obviously better than that, so let him waste someone else's time from now on. |
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"This is my first post - please be kind!
Have been chatting with a guy for a few months. Get on really well! He’s let me down twice now when we’ve arranged a meet.
I should just give it up right? He’s just not that into me?!"
Yes - give up. Meet me instead |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is my first post - please be kind!
Have been chatting with a guy for a few months. Get on really well! He’s let me down twice now when we’ve arranged a meet.
I should just give it up right? He’s just not that into me?!"
What were the reasons for pulling out? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Cancelled in advance.
Busy with things domestic.
We’ve chatted on phone, messaged a fair bit. Built up trust etc. Seems a nice guy. Just...not that into me!
Frustrating. As a single mum I don’t get much time to myself. Got a few days free as child is going away. Was looking forward to some fun. Disappointed  |
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You've been 'talking' for months.
If the talking was wank fodder then discount it as blind porn.
If the talking was just general chat discount the above.
If he let you down at the last minute then don't make any more arrangements with him.
If he had a really good reason then make arrangements with him for the last time because three times is more than co-incidence. |
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"This is my first post - please be kind!
Have been chatting with a guy for a few months. Get on really well! He’s let me down twice now when we’ve arranged a meet.
I should just give it up right? He’s just not that into me?!"
.
He's taking the piss just date me instead  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never had to cancel a meet but been let down a few times with meets from another site. Turned out they were wasters and fake anyway.
If the reasons for him to cancel sound genuine and you like him give him the benifit of the doubt. I assume you have done the standard cheeks... face timed or video chatted etc?. Know he is single (if claiming to be).
My personel opinion is if you like them then give them another chance but I would make it perfectly clear that if you arrange to meet again, with plenty of time to organise work and or family, that a no show will be the end of everything.
The no shows and cancel guys give us a bad name !!
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"Cancelled in advance.
Busy with things domestic.
We’ve chatted on phone, messaged a fair bit. Built up trust etc. Seems a nice guy. Just...not that into me!
Frustrating. As a single mum I don’t get much time to myself. Got a few days free as child is going away. Was looking forward to some fun. Disappointed "
Things domestic = wife n kids ?
Single mum = doesn't accommodate ?
Both of the above = hotel costs ?
Hotel costs = tight ass git ?
Tight ass git = no show ?
Just thinkin' like. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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All good advice, people. Thanks x
He’s done nothing wrong. Said from start he only wanted a bit of fun. Also said I was too far away (40 miles)
Just me feeling disappointed x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel your pain Peachey x
I seem to be on a streak at the moment 3/3
I'm battoning down the hatches!
"
3 for 3... i will happily put an end to that run for you.
Meet at Eurekas too if you wanted if the sun comes back. Its lovely there during the day. Oh i see you know that already from your pics !  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All good advice, people. Thanks x
He’s done nothing wrong. Said from start he only wanted a bit of fun. Also said I was too far away (40 miles)
Just me feeling disappointed x"
40 miles too far!
I have travelled round trip of nearly 400. Thankfully she showed up.
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Only you know the situation well enough to make the judgement call OP - if you think the circumstances of cancelling each time are fishy then chalk it down to experience and walk away with your head held high knowing it wasn't meant to be.
However if the circumstances appear genuine (e.g. he has a job that can be erratic in terms of enabling him to plan in advance) then it's a different matter. Depends how much you want to meet him ultimately - but if you decide to give him another chance would certainly make it clear in a positive way that you'll be disappointed and may have to rethink if it gets cancelled again.
My biggest concern iwould be that he's attached and the "domestic issues" are not being able to get away - but if you've been able to confirm he's single somehow then you can only go with your gut instinct |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He’s single.
Seeing others but that’s entirely up to him! We’re not looking for marriage on here are we?!"
People looking for all sorts you can never make assumptions |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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True.
But he’s entitled to see whoever he wants, is what I meant. He’s cancelled on me twice and I’m disappointed.
He said he’d make it up to me but I think I just need to give my bruised ego a big hug and get on with things! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is my first post - please be kind!
Have been chatting with a guy for a few months. Get on really well! He’s let me down twice now when we’ve arranged a meet.
I should just give it up right? He’s just not that into me?!"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There could be a valid reason for it, things do come up in real life.
However, you have to look at how it's made you feel. Do you want to try again with the potential to be feeling this way or you can try something/someone else.
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"This is my first post - please be kind!
Have been chatting with a guy for a few months. Get on really well! He’s let me down twice now when we’ve arranged a meet.
I should just give it up right? He’s just not that into me?!"
Give him up he’s a time waster!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There could be a valid reason for it, things do come up in real life.
However, you have to look at how it's made you feel. Do you want to try again with the potential to be feeling this way or you can try something/someone else.
"
Excellent point! Not his fault I feel crap x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He’s single.
Seeing others but that’s entirely up to him! We’re not looking for marriage on here are we?!"
So he has cancelled meets with you to see other people?
Get rid  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is my first post - please be kind!
Have been chatting with a guy for a few months. Get on really well! He’s let me down twice now when we’ve arranged a meet.
I should just give it up right? He’s just not that into me?!"
Have the reasons he has given been genuine and believable? Do you feel an element of trust between you? If yes, then I would say give him a chance.
However, if your gut is telling you that it's not right then I would say walk away.
Our intuition is rarely wrong xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This is my first post - please be kind!
Have been chatting with a guy for a few months. Get on really well! He’s let me down twice now when we’ve arranged a meet.
I should just give it up right? He’s just not that into me?!
Have the reasons he has given been genuine and believable? Do you feel an element of trust between you? If yes, then I would say give him a chance.
However, if your gut is telling you that it's not right then I would say walk away.
Our intuition is rarely wrong xx"
I do think he’s genuine. But I also don’t like feeling like this! |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"This is my first post - please be kind!
Have been chatting with a guy for a few months. Get on really well! He’s let me down twice now when we’ve arranged a meet.
I should just give it up right? He’s just not that into me?!
Have the reasons he has given been genuine and believable? Do you feel an element of trust between you? If yes, then I would say give him a chance.
However, if your gut is telling you that it's not right then I would say walk away.
Our intuition is rarely wrong xx"
But if he's given you two weeks or more notice of cancelling don't forget to post on the forums about how he's "let you down" and then have the thread deleted when you don't get the answers you were hoping for 
does show you are joking doesn't it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is my first post - please be kind!
Have been chatting with a guy for a few months. Get on really well! He’s let me down twice now when we’ve arranged a meet.
I should just give it up right? He’s just not that into me?!
Have the reasons he has given been genuine and believable? Do you feel an element of trust between you? If yes, then I would say give him a chance.
However, if your gut is telling you that it's not right then I would say walk away.
Our intuition is rarely wrong xx
I do think he’s genuine. But I also don’t like feeling like this!"
To be fair, neither would I, I guess it really depends on how much YOU want to meet him xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By the tone of your replies you are keen on this chap.?
With this in mind I imagine you will give him the oppotunity to meet again. As the poster above says - are you prepared to feel like this again. Yes I think you possibly are as i think (and yes iam making huge character assumptions) you like this guy.
So, the choices are... block him and yearn for what may or may never have been. Or arrange another meet. He shows up and you get the toe curling knee trembling meet that you have had sleepless nights over . Or he dont show again and you you feel like this for a while.
Also nothing stopping you from spreading your wings too. Plenty of guys on here would gladly meet you... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So crap when people mess you around especially as you built a repertoire with them just makes it harder for the nice people to meet chin up your be alright |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There could be a valid reason for it, things do come up in real life.
However, you have to look at how it's made you feel. Do you want to try again with the potential to be feeling this way or you can try something/someone else.
Excellent point! Not his fault I feel crap x"
Just take some time to consider how you are feeling now, and if he does let you down again how that will make you feel. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This is my first post - please be kind!
Have been chatting with a guy for a few months. Get on really well! He’s let me down twice now when we’ve arranged a meet.
I should just give it up right? He’s just not that into me?!
Have the reasons he has given been genuine and believable? Do you feel an element of trust between you? If yes, then I would say give him a chance.
However, if your gut is telling you that it's not right then I would say walk away.
Our intuition is rarely wrong xx
But if he's given you two weeks or more notice of cancelling don't forget to post on the forums about how he's "let you down" and then have the thread deleted when you don't get the answers you were hoping for
does show you are joking doesn't it? "
2 days and 3 days notice. Which when arranging childcare can be challenging |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"
I do think he’s genuine. But I also don’t like feeling like this!"
If you honestly think he's genuine OP and he's promised to make it up to you - then go for it, or maybe take a bit of a back seat and let him do the running for a while - which should tell you how much he wants to meet too.
It's only natural to feel disappointed when something you have been looking forward to doesn't work out how you hoped but if you're both on the same page and can set something up in future then that disappointment will soon disappear |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"By the tone of your replies you are keen on this chap.?
With this in mind I imagine you will give him the oppotunity to meet again. As the poster above says - are you prepared to feel like this again. Yes I think you possibly are as i think (and yes iam making huge character assumptions) you like this guy.
So, the choices are... block him and yearn for what may or may never have been. Or arrange another meet. He shows up and you get the toe curling knee trembling meet that you have had sleepless nights over . Or he dont show again and you you feel like this for a while.
Also nothing stopping you from spreading your wings too. Plenty of guys on here would gladly meet you..."
Good advice x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I do think he’s genuine. But I also don’t like feeling like this!
If you honestly think he's genuine OP and he's promised to make it up to you - then go for it, or maybe take a bit of a back seat and let him do the running for a while - which should tell you how much he wants to meet
It's only natural to feel disappointed when something you have been looking forward to doesn't work out how you hoped but if you're both on the same page and can set something up in future then that disappointment will soon disappear "
Also excellent advice. Thank you x |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"
2 days and 3 days notice. Which when arranging childcare can be challenging"
Yes I know - although looking on the positive side that's better than a couple of hours, and suggests he let you know as soon as he was able, as opposed to peaving it to the last minute - like I said upthread only you can judge how genuine his reasons for cancelling were and whether he was just as disappointed as you at having to do so, and then make a decision from there. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
2 days and 3 days notice. Which when arranging childcare can be challenging
Yes I know - although looking on the positive side that's better than a couple of hours, and suggests he let you know as soon as he was able, as opposed to peaving it to the last minute - like I said upthread only you can judge how genuine his reasons for cancelling were and whether he was just as disappointed as you at having to do so, and then make a decision from there."
Thank you xxx |
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"All good advice, people. Thanks x
He’s done nothing wrong. Said from start he only wanted a bit of fun. Also said I was too far away (40 miles)
Just me feeling disappointed x"
40 miles!!!!! he has some issues i think! ffs we get them from 200 miles away saying would travel to meet!!!! lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It can be annoying when people cancel. It's happened to me a couple of times. Without a good excuse for canceling, although it difficult after you have invested time, your better off moving on. Good luck with your future searches.
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I've not long kicked one to the kerb. Met him a few times but recently he would always make sure I was free and then not commit to anything definite, his way of making sure I wasn't meetimg others, so told him he was better off finding something closer to home as was I. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've not long kicked one to the kerb. Met him a few times but recently he would always make sure I was free and then not commit to anything definite, his way of making sure I wasn't meetimg others, so told him he was better off finding something closer to home as was I. "
Good for you xxx |
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"All good advice, people. Thanks x
He’s done nothing wrong. Said from start he only wanted a bit of fun. Also said I was too far away (40 miles)
Just me feeling disappointed x"
Sounds like a guy I used to see, he lived 40 miles away. Met him quite a few times to start with but between him doing houses up and his ex being very difficult it was too much hassle so called it quits. |
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Some men just want to keep you on a string .. boncing back and forth chatting leading you on then dropping you back.
I say give up move on. Its hurtful when you keen on someone when they play with feelings.. Twice too many times.
Im sure there are some lovely guys will message and meet you after this thread. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Some men just want to keep you on a string .. boncing back and forth chatting leading you on then dropping you back.
I say give up move on. Its hurtful when you keen on someone when they play with feelings.. Twice too many times.
Im sure there are some lovely guys will message and meet you after this thread."
Thanks, lovely x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All good advice, people. Thanks x
He’s done nothing wrong. Said from start he only wanted a bit of fun. Also said I was too far away (40 miles)
Just me feeling disappointed x"
Don't understand what is the point texting and leading someone if 40 miles is too far? Next time check how far they live and ask are they happy to travel. If is a problem then move on. I have a guy from NY and Barcelona come to see me so they are some gems here prepared to travel.x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He said he’d make it up to me but I think I just need to give my bruised ego a big hug and get on with things!"
Forgive my cynicism, but no, he won't be making anything up to you, and I bet he said that the first time he let you down too. His reasons for not being able to meet could be genuine, but clearly that doesn't stop you being disappointed. If you want to keep being disappointed, then continue to keep giving him the opportunity to disappoint you. If you don't want to be disappointed again, then my advice would be stop giving him that opportunity. You have men falling at your feet on this thread! Forget the guy who can't be bothered to travel 40 miles - find another worth your time! Very best wishes beautiful!
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would be beginning to think you may never meet now aswell. Life does get in the way of plans but it seems he might be happier just being a talker. Hard when you've invested time in someone and you got on though. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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""He said he’d make it up to me but I think I just need to give my bruised ego a big hug and get on with things!"
Forgive my cynicism, but no, he won't be making anything up to you, and I bet he said that the first time he let you down too. His reasons for not being able to meet could be genuine, but clearly that doesn't stop you being disappointed. If you want to keep being disappointed, then continue to keep giving him the opportunity to disappoint you. If you don't want to be disappointed again, then my advice would be stop giving him that opportunity. You have men falling at your feet on this thread! Forget the guy who can't be bothered to travel 40 miles - find another worth your time! Very best wishes beautiful!
X"
Thanks, lovely xxx You’re right xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""He said he’d make it up to me but I think I just need to give my bruised ego a big hug and get on with things!"
Forgive my cynicism, but no, he won't be making anything up to you, and I bet he said that the first time he let you down too. His reasons for not being able to meet could be genuine, but clearly that doesn't stop you being disappointed. If you want to keep being disappointed, then continue to keep giving him the opportunity to disappoint you. If you don't want to be disappointed again, then my advice would be stop giving him that opportunity. You have men falling at your feet on this thread! Forget the guy who can't be bothered to travel 40 miles - find another worth your time! Very best wishes beautiful!
X
Thanks, lovely xxx You’re right xxx"
This place is for feeling fabulous, so allow yourself to enjoy the attentions of those who make you feel fabulous. Anything less is just not cricket x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s a hard one to call.
I’d say if you had already met him and were both agreeable to having more than a one off meet than maybe the cancellations are genuine.
If you haven’t met it just makes me thinks he likes the idea of meeting more than the reality.
Either way it’s hugely disappointing and a right pain in the arse when it comes to childcare arrangements.
Maybe pop him on the back burner and see who else is out there... |
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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
I've not read every response..however the guy has said "it's too far "...are you travelling to him meeting half wAy or him travelling..if it's the latter why would it be sensible to think it's too far has now become of course I'll travel that far..? |
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Unfortunately this is fab... it’s awful when things like this happen and sometimes we can put all our eggs in one basket... (I’ve been guilty of doing that) but it is a swinging site... but you have a sexy profile so you don’t have to delete or block him but let him come after you now and start looking again... there’s loads of sexy guys on here... it just takes time to sometimes find the ones that really tale your fancy... but if you found him there will be others!!
Try not to get bogged down with fab (again speaking from experience, which I have learnt from)
The main thing is to have FUN and enjoy yourself and if your getting head fuck it’s time to move on!!
Hugs x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've not read every response..however the guy has said "it's too far "...are you travelling to him meeting half wAy or him travelling..if it's the latter why would it be sensible to think it's too far has now become of course I'll travel that far..?"
I’ve offered to travel or meet half way |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately this is fab... it’s awful when things like this happen and sometimes we can put all our eggs in one basket... (I’ve been guilty of doing that) but it is a swinging site... but you have a sexy profile so you don’t have to delete or block him but let him come after you now and start looking again... there’s loads of sexy guys on here... it just takes time to sometimes find the ones that really tale your fancy... but if you found him there will be others!!
Try not to get bogged down with fab (again speaking from experience, which I have learnt from)
The main thing is to have FUN and enjoy yourself and if your getting head fuck it’s time to move on!!
Hugs x"
Thanks, lovely x |
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You know, if the excuses he's come up with for the let downs felt completely legitimate, you wouldn't have started a thread about it would you? The fact you have really does suggest you're not convinced so I'd take the attitude there are plenty more fish in the sea and concentrate your efforts elsewhere. Apart from anything else him saying you're 'too far' would be the decider for me - if that's the case (and he's entitled to think that) you need to ask yourself why he ever talked about meeting in the first place? ... unfortunately, it does sound as if he could have been getting off in some way on the fantasy of meeting but never had any intention of seeing it through. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You know, if the excuses he's come up with for the let downs felt completely legitimate, you wouldn't have started a thread about it would you? The fact you have really does suggest you're not convinced so I'd take the attitude there are plenty more fish in the sea and concentrate your efforts elsewhere. Apart from anything else him saying you're 'too far' would be the decider for me - if that's the case (and he's entitled to think that) you need to ask yourself why he ever talked about meeting in the first place? ... unfortunately, it does sound as if he could have been getting off in some way on the fantasy of meeting but never had any intention of seeing it through."
True x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All good advice, people. Thanks x
He’s done nothing wrong. Said from start he only wanted a bit of fun. Also said I was too far away (40 miles)
Just me feeling disappointed x"
40 miles is too far ha I travel a 130miles to get a coffee that's not a relevant excuse but if he's given you good notice he can't meet and you like him, I'm kinda ok with that, in the past I've actually travelled and booked accommodation and been let down without any communication and by women I've known for a while,so it's your call really but if he's seen this thread he's probably gone now anyways |
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"I've not read every response..however the guy has said "it's too far "...are you travelling to him meeting half wAy or him travelling..if it's the latter why would it be sensible to think it's too far has now become of course I'll travel that far..?
I’ve offered to travel or meet half way"
This is sounding so familiar. Does he work shifts as well? |
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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago
Hitchin |
There are plenty of guys out there who I’m sure would love to meet you and actually make the effort to turn up.
I’ve had it in the past where I’ve been let down by a guy a couple of times.... turns out he was just chicken.
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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"I've not read every response..however the guy has said "it's too far "...are you travelling to him meeting half wAy or him travelling..if it's the latter why would it be sensible to think it's too far has now become of course I'll travel that far..?
I’ve offered to travel or meet half way"
And what was his response to your offer of travel or half way ?
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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"I've not read every response..however the guy has said "it's too far "...are you travelling to him meeting half wAy or him travelling..if it's the latter why would it be sensible to think it's too far has now become of course I'll travel that far..?
I’ve offered to travel or meet half way
And what was his response to your offer of travel or half way ?
"
Others who are saying they'd travel or have traveled further that's great.. others may choose not to travel any distance and that's their choice... the guy has said he wasn't prepared to.. if he's told you that at the outset or when trying to arrange a meet.. I'd have moved on to another when that was mentioned. |
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"This is my first post - please be kind!
Have been chatting with a guy for a few months. Get on really well! He’s let me down twice now when we’ve arranged a meet.
I should just give it up right? He’s just not that into me?!"
Don’t marry him, have me
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