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What law would you make??
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People who dawdle in public and cause an obstruction should be summarily executed.
I’m not completely heartless however; I understand old folks are naturally a bit slower.
......so they would only be flogged.  |
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"Mine would be ‘if you have a drive’ bloody well park up it.
My street is getting to be an absolute nightmare because of this laziness. God help if there’s a fire or an ambulance is needed "
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Sounds perfectly reasonable.
I'd add if you've got a two car drive then it's a maximum of two cars, I've got neighbours who've built on their driveway and then decided to have five!!! Cars  |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
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"People who dawdle in public and cause an obstruction should be summarily executed.
I’m not completely heartless however; I understand old folks are naturally a bit slower.
......so they would only be flogged. "
Quite right too |
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"Mine would be ‘if you have a drive’ bloody well park up it.
My street is getting to be an absolute nightmare because of this laziness. God help if there’s a fire or an ambulance is needed .
Sounds perfectly reasonable.
I'd add if you've got a two car drive then it's a maximum of two cars, I've got neighbours who've built on their driveway and then decided to have five!!! Cars "
My next door have a car each, their son has a car and I legit cringed the other day when I saw the daughter getting out of an instructors car. I pray she won’t be getting her own |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
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I would stop people mowing their lawns on a Sunday.
I would ban every middle lane driver for life.
I would make it totally and completely illegal for good looking men to hide photos from me or stop me fabbing them. This one is important  |
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People doing 20mph and 30mph in a 60-70mph road get dome the same as someone speeding..now before the haye let me explain..
It causes a mass of people overtaking which is just as dangerous..and also on your test you have to do the speed limit so what that tell you?..and before people say the confidence thing if they aint confident then maybe drivong aint for them.. It be a safer world trust me.. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you write a message to a woman, she has to reply"
If you write a message to anyone,it should be worthy of a reply.
Anyone complaining that their crap one liners/messages from faceless profiles/from married guys/guys wanting you to put them in a nappy,,,any of a million possible inappropriate messages, do not get a reply, should be fed to the crocodiles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Shopworkers who give you your change as a pile of coins on top of a note while you are struggling to juggle all your shopping bags and obviously cannot put it away easily into separate compartments of your purse should be severely,and I do mean severely,,,,,asked not to do that.
(the same goes for the people on the checkouts who fire items towards you so fast that you can't possibly keep up.Or keep moving the belt forwards and jerking it to a stop while you are trying to unload your trolley with all your bottles standing up in a neat line). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People doing 20mph and 30mph in a 60-70mph road get dome the same as someone speeding..now before the haye let me explain..
It causes a mass of people overtaking which is just as dangerous..and also on your test you have to do the speed limit so what that tell you?..and before people say the confidence thing if they aint confident then maybe drivong aint for them.. It be a safer world trust me.. x"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Believe this is a law in Germany: If you cause death by dangerous driving them your car is automatically classed as a lethal weapon exactly the same as if it was a knife or gun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All weekends to be three days "
Oi,,,that's not fair on those of us who have a four day weekend. Why should our leisure time be cut short just because you are so lazy?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Shopworkers who give you your change as a pile of coins on top of a note while you are struggling to juggle all your shopping bags and obviously cannot put it away easily into separate compartments of your purse should be severely,and I do mean severely,,,,,asked not to do that.
(the same goes for the people on the checkouts who fire items towards you so fast that you can't possibly keep up.Or keep moving the belt forwards and jerking it to a stop while you are trying to unload your trolley with all your bottles standing up in a neat line)."
Put the stuff that needs weighing at the end. Gives you time to catch up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People who don’t put the “next customer” thing down at the supermarket checkout should be executed."
Execution is too quick and easy for those antisocial bstrds.
A more fitting punishment is to load your stuff up so close to theirs that they get confused and may accidentally pay for some of yours or, to pinch a few essentials from thiers while they aren't looking and they will have to run back into the store to find the item again,,,and replace it before they get back.
That'll teach them not to mess with us organised, efficient shoppers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Shopworkers who give you your change as a pile of coins on top of a note while you are struggling to juggle all your shopping bags and obviously cannot put it away easily into separate compartments of your purse should be severely,and I do mean severely,,,,,asked not to do that.
(the same goes for the people on the checkouts who fire items towards you so fast that you can't possibly keep up.Or keep moving the belt forwards and jerking it to a stop while you are trying to unload your trolley with all your bottles standing up in a neat line).
Put the stuff that needs weighing at the end. Gives you time to catch up."
But,,,,they still tell you how much the bill is before you've finished packing. This should be punished by,,,,,me thinking dark thoughts about them and muttering under my breath as I walk away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People who don’t put the “next customer” thing down at the supermarket checkout should be executed.
Execution is too quick and easy for those antisocial bstrds.
A more fitting punishment is to load your stuff up so close to theirs that they get confused and may accidentally pay for some of yours or, to pinch a few essentials from thiers while they aren't looking and they will have to run back into the store to find the item again,,,and replace it before they get back.
That'll teach them not to mess with us organised, efficient shoppers."
I’m definitely doing that. Can’t wait for next Sunday now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Shopworkers who give you your change as a pile of coins on top of a note while you are struggling to juggle all your shopping bags and obviously cannot put it away easily into separate compartments of your purse should be severely,and I do mean severely,,,,,asked not to do that.
(the same goes for the people on the checkouts who fire items towards you so fast that you can't possibly keep up.Or keep moving the belt forwards and jerking it to a stop while you are trying to unload your trolley with all your bottles standing up in a neat line).
Aldi by any chance?
Put the stuff that needs weighing at the end. Gives you time to catch up.
But,,,,they still tell you how much the bill is before you've finished packing. This should be punished by,,,,,me thinking dark thoughts about them and muttering under my breath as I walk away."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would make it mandatory for the delicious,swarthy,olive skinned young man at my local car wash to tend to my needs shirtless in this hot weather....well worth a fiver tip.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I put the minimum wage up to £10 an hour.
Drinking and smoking 21years old. Smoking back in pubs private room that is.
Lower car insurance if you havnt made a claim in the last 15 years.
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On the supermarket theme, I want a law that fines supermarkets for shite self checkouts. ‘Unexpected items in checkout area’, ‘re-scan item’, ‘please wait for assistance’. Meanwhile the ‘assistance’ is too busy chatting shit to her bff to give a toss that your fecking self checkout is malfunctioning. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On the supermarket theme, I want a law that fines supermarkets for shite self checkouts. ‘Unexpected items in checkout area’, ‘re-scan item’, ‘please wait for assistance’. Meanwhile the ‘assistance’ is too busy chatting shit to her bff to give a toss that your fecking self checkout is malfunctioning. "
Enact this law now! I actually queue in Asda rather than use them, effing useless things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Shopworkers who give you your change as a pile of coins on top of a note while you are struggling to juggle all your shopping bags and obviously cannot put it away easily into separate compartments of your purse should be severely,and I do mean severely,,,,,asked not to do that.
(the same goes for the people on the checkouts who fire items towards you so fast that you can't possibly keep up.Or keep moving the belt forwards and jerking it to a stop while you are trying to unload your trolley with all your bottles standing up in a neat line).
Put the stuff that needs weighing at the end. Gives you time to catch up."
Also,that would mean I have to put my bananas in the trolley before my tins of tuna and bags of flour,,,,can you just imagine the mess that will cause. No,far better for me to whinge about the way the tired,overworked underpaid checkout person does their thankless job.
that's another law I'd make,,,people who whine about trivial things when they really have an easy life should be,,,,,,told to STFU. (including me).  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On the supermarket theme, I want a law that fines supermarkets for shite self checkouts. ‘Unexpected items in checkout area’, ‘re-scan item’, ‘please wait for assistance’. Meanwhile the ‘assistance’ is too busy chatting shit to her bff to give a toss that your fecking self checkout is malfunctioning. "
You do realise that there is really a person inside those machines? The pay is not great but they do get to snigger at us.
Just be very quiet next time,,you'll hear them in there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People who dawdle in public and cause an obstruction should be summarily executed.
I’m not completely heartless however; I understand old folks are naturally a bit slower.
......so they would only be flogged. "
Similarly, women who walk in lines stretching right the way across corridors and expect you to go over the top of them to get past  |
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"On the supermarket theme, I want a law that fines supermarkets for shite self checkouts. ‘Unexpected items in checkout area’, ‘re-scan item’, ‘please wait for assistance’. Meanwhile the ‘assistance’ is too busy chatting shit to her bff to give a toss that your fecking self checkout is malfunctioning.
You do realise that there is really a person inside those machines? The pay is not great but they do get to snigger at us.
Just be very quiet next time,,you'll hear them in there."
That’s shameful!! Them and the people who work in cash point machines should demand better working conditions and pay!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On the supermarket theme, I want a law that fines supermarkets for shite self checkouts. ‘Unexpected items in checkout area’, ‘re-scan item’, ‘please wait for assistance’. Meanwhile the ‘assistance’ is too busy chatting shit to her bff to give a toss that your fecking self checkout is malfunctioning.
You do realise that there is really a person inside those machines? The pay is not great but they do get to snigger at us.
Just be very quiet next time,,you'll hear them in there.
That’s shameful!! Them and the people who work in cash point machines should demand better working conditions and pay!!"
I suppose the pay could be better but the perks more than make up for it.
It's quite common for them to do unpaid,voluntary overtime just because laughing at us as we struggle with the technology is so fulfilling and rewarding.
There's a huge waiting list to get into those kind of jobs. |
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Another supermarket law!!!! Sorry ladies, but you should be banned/fined/publicly flogged/shaved and paraded through the streets naked for this........having the fecking trolley at 90 degrees to you and at arms length while you peruse the shelves. How the actual fuck are we supposed to get past you??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Anyone who is trying to get past me,on the motorway or in a corridor,should have to provide me with a detailed (500 word minimum) letter,explaining why they're in such a hurry and what the hell could be so much more important than my leisurely stroll.
After I have read it,twice to make sure I have fully grasped it,I may think about getting out of the way.....or I may not,haven't decided yet.  |
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"On the supermarket theme, I want a law that fines supermarkets for shite self checkouts. ‘Unexpected items in checkout area’, ‘re-scan item’, ‘please wait for assistance’. Meanwhile the ‘assistance’ is too busy chatting shit to her bff to give a toss that your fecking self checkout is malfunctioning.
You do realise that there is really a person inside those machines? The pay is not great but they do get to snigger at us.
Just be very quiet next time,,you'll hear them in there.
That’s shameful!! Them and the people who work in cash point machines should demand better working conditions and pay!!
I suppose the pay could be better but the perks more than make up for it.
It's quite common for them to do unpaid,voluntary overtime just because laughing at us as we struggle with the technology is so fulfilling and rewarding.
There's a huge waiting list to get into those kind of jobs."
Are there size restrictions though? Is there a plethora of anorexic dwarfs waiting for their big break as self service checkout operators? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On the supermarket theme, I want a law that fines supermarkets for shite self checkouts. ‘Unexpected items in checkout area’, ‘re-scan item’, ‘please wait for assistance’. Meanwhile the ‘assistance’ is too busy chatting shit to her bff to give a toss that your fecking self checkout is malfunctioning.
You do realise that there is really a person inside those machines? The pay is not great but they do get to snigger at us.
Just be very quiet next time,,you'll hear them in there.
That’s shameful!! Them and the people who work in cash point machines should demand better working conditions and pay!!
I suppose the pay could be better but the perks more than make up for it.
It's quite common for them to do unpaid,voluntary overtime just because laughing at us as we struggle with the technology is so fulfilling and rewarding.
There's a huge waiting list to get into those kind of jobs.
Are there size restrictions though? Is there a plethora of anorexic dwarfs waiting for their big break as self service checkout operators? "
There is no size limit,that would be unlawful discrimination. As long as someone is flexible and willing to stand eight hours of excrutiating discomfort,they can be considered for the job. After (unpaid) training of course. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On the supermarket theme, I want a law that fines supermarkets for shite self checkouts. ‘Unexpected items in checkout area’, ‘re-scan item’, ‘please wait for assistance’. Meanwhile the ‘assistance’ is too busy chatting shit to her bff to give a toss that your fecking self checkout is malfunctioning.
You do realise that there is really a person inside those machines? The pay is not great but they do get to snigger at us.
Just be very quiet next time,,you'll hear them in there."
Well they should be sacked and forced back into their previous employment in Australia! |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
Cyclists MUST us cycle lanes if they are available. Cyclists to be registered and insured in the same way as motor vehicles.
Schools to teach manners and etiquette.
Everything town to have their own naturist area.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On the supermarket theme, I want a law that fines supermarkets for shite self checkouts. ‘Unexpected items in checkout area’, ‘re-scan item’, ‘please wait for assistance’. Meanwhile the ‘assistance’ is too busy chatting shit to her bff to give a toss that your fecking self checkout is malfunctioning.
You do realise that there is really a person inside those machines? The pay is not great but they do get to snigger at us.
Just be very quiet next time,,you'll hear them in there.
That’s shameful!! Them and the people who work in cash point machines should demand better working conditions and pay!!
I suppose the pay could be better but the perks more than make up for it.
It's quite common for them to do unpaid,voluntary overtime just because laughing at us as we struggle with the technology is so fulfilling and rewarding.
There's a huge waiting list to get into those kind of jobs.
Are there size restrictions though? Is there a plethora of anorexic dwarfs waiting for their big break as self service checkout operators? "
It’s usually seen as a promotion from working in the traffic lights. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cyclists MUST us cycle lanes if they are available. Cyclists to be registered and insured in the same way as motor vehicles.
Schools to teach manners and etiquette.
Everything town to have their own naturist area.
"
Car drivers who stray even one millimetre into a cycle lane or the forward bit at traffic lights to be sentenced to park under trees where birds are nesting.
parking on the pavement to be punishable by having a wheelchair or pram scraped down the side of the car and wing mirrors smashed off.
I can hardly wait to go nude sunbathing in Slough or Basingstoke.
(well,you did say every town).  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone who is trying to get past me,on the motorway or in a corridor,should have to provide me with a detailed (500 word minimum) letter,explaining why they're in such a hurry and what the hell could be so much more important than my leisurely stroll.
After I have read it,twice to make sure I have fully grasped it,I may think about getting out of the way.....or I may not,haven't decided yet. "
Seems you don't like leaving space on your posts either!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone who is trying to get past me,on the motorway or in a corridor,should have to provide me with a detailed (500 word minimum) letter,explaining why they're in such a hurry and what the hell could be so much more important than my leisurely stroll.
After I have read it,twice to make sure I have fully grasped it,I may think about getting out of the way.....or I may not,haven't decided yet.
Seems you don't like leaving space on your posts either! "
You're quite right. I can't abide unnecessary wastes of space. I'd pass a law to have them eliminated. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On the supermarket theme, I want a law that fines supermarkets for shite self checkouts. ‘Unexpected items in checkout area’, ‘re-scan item’, ‘please wait for assistance’. Meanwhile the ‘assistance’ is too busy chatting shit to her bff to give a toss that your fecking self checkout is malfunctioning.
Droids! Theyre taking over! Taking jobs!
Enact this law now! I actually queue in Asda rather than use them, effing useless things. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wankers in bloody big 4x4's who don't realise that their car can actually go through a puddle should be banned from driving ever again.
Down here in the westcountry you see them driving down lanes then have to stop and wait to negotiate a 1 inch puddle because their car would get dirty mud on the tyres ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Three female toilets to every one Male toilet/urinal and one loo to every 15 women in busy clubs, pubs and theatres.
Compulsory toilet roll and towel availability with severe punishment for any institution that runs out.
Sorry - not funny but IMPORTANT! |
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