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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I came downstairs and fell over the fucking hoover. My own fault for not putting it away. I have three lovely bruises. I like getting bruises as its proof i did hurt myself  "
Oh no. How's your Hoover! |
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Oh ouch ! No broken toes I hope. I bruise easy I get those horrid purple blood spots on my forearms at the slightest knock and awful nosebleeds a few times a month . Really annoying. Cold compress your bruised bits and have a drink. |
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Iv just got rid of a black eye from falling over the dog. Damaged the nerves in my knees at the same time. Felt I right idiot. Neighbours never see anything if car damaged etc but I bet they all saw me flat on my face |
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"I keep getting bitten by horsefly’s. I’m seriously starting to think you could enter me in a race at Newmarket and i’d win.
"
 I was viciously attacked by a mosquito the other week. The resulting (thankfully non lethal yet highly grievous) wound it inflicted upon my delicate palm itched for days. I was even considering calling in a priest to administer the last rites and everything |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I came downstairs and fell over the fucking hoover. My own fault for not putting it away. I have three lovely bruises. I like getting bruises as its proof i did hurt myself "
Hope you jumped up and dusted yourself off after |
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"I keep getting bitten by horsefly’s. I’m seriously starting to think you could enter me in a race at Newmarket and i’d win.
I was viciously attacked by a mosquito the other week. The resulting (thankfully non lethal yet highly grievous) wound it inflicted upon my delicate palm itched for days. I was even considering calling in a priest to administer the last rites and everything "
Paint with nailvarnish (any colour) it really does stop the itch. |
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