FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What annoys you most about the opposite sex ?
What annoys you most about the opposite sex ?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Selective hearing..."please can you empty the dishwasher"...no reply
"Please may I suck your cock" said in the same volume, cock thrust in my face before I can say boo.
Strange that ain't it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I hate it that ladies never put the toilet seat down after they’re done....  "
Should that not be "up" after we are done? Or maybe the "ladies" down your way lift the seat to go....if so, my apologies.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Selective hearing..."please can you empty the dishwasher"...no reply
"Please may I suck your cock" said in the same volume, cock thrust in my face before I can say boo.
Strange that ain't it."
try saying "empty the dishwasher while I suck your cock"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Selective hearing..."please can you empty the dishwasher"...no reply
"Please may I suck your cock" said in the same volume, cock thrust in my face before I can say boo.
Strange that ain't it. try saying "empty the dishwasher while I suck your cock"
"
I wash by hand ! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Selective hearing..."please can you empty the dishwasher"...no reply
"Please may I suck your cock" said in the same volume, cock thrust in my face before I can say boo.
Strange that ain't it."
Ah, but we chaps’ auditory senses function on a differing frequency to females. It’s all to do with phonetics you see; ‘Cock, suck, fuck’ - all sharing similar sounds. In conclusion, next time try saying, ‘Please can you empty the dishwasher.....and I’ll suck your cock.’ Result guaranteed! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The gap they usually have between big toes and middle toes
Someone used to call my feet ‘Madona’ as my toes are gappy like her teeth  "
That's bad but it did make me laugh ! Tbf I have a crush on Vanessa Paradis for that reason ! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The gap they usually have between big toes and middle toes
Someone used to call my feet ‘Madona’ as my toes are gappy like her teeth
That's bad but it did make me laugh ! Tbf I have a crush on Vanessa Paradis for that reason ! "
Oh, I love her |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The gap they usually have between big toes and middle toes
Someone used to call my feet ‘Madona’ as my toes are gappy like her teeth
That's bad but it did make me laugh ! Tbf I have a crush on Vanessa Paradis for that reason ! "
I’m gonna send you my toes |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
A controversial not to mention, highly stereotypical one now: Nagging.
Yes, I am more than happy to transport the wastebag from the kitchen to the bin outside. ......Just let me do it in my own time, whether it be five hours from now or else maybe next week |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A controversial not to mention, highly stereotypical one now: Nagging.
Yes, I am more than happy to transport the wastebag from the kitchen to the bin outside. ......Just let me do it in my own time, whether it be five hours from now or else maybe next week "
Yet you want things doing then and there  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The gap they usually have between big toes and middle toes
Someone used to call my feet ‘Madona’ as my toes are gappy like her teeth "
Is that that thing rabbits get Mixymetoesup  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
How they do things deliberately badly/slowly because they don't want to do them.
Knowing that the woman will lose the will to live and give up asking and do it herself, better, in half the time!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *cotsguyyMan
over a year ago
Belfast and Fife |
"How they do things deliberately badly/slowly because they don't want to do them.
Knowing that the woman will lose the will to live and give up asking and do it herself, better, in half the time! "
We've been rumbled, lads. Run to the hills!!
If the Hills aren't in run to the Smiths. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"How they do things deliberately badly/slowly because they don't want to do them.
Knowing that the woman will lose the will to live and give up asking and do it herself, better, in half the time! "
A tried and tested technique handed down from fathers to sons |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"They think household goods are suitable gifts.
It’s all about practicality; a pair of oven gloves will prevent a lady burning her delicate hands whilst she cooks the tea "
how tf do you cook tea, - surely you boil & ferment? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
They pick their nose in vehicles as if nobody can see them.
They can never tell when your anger is just about to reach highly volatile levels and is way past the mildly annoyed stage. Then they tell you to “calm down”.
They make only make one cup of tea/coffee every 4 hours and exist on fresh air the rest of the time.
They don’t see the problem in jizzing in your hair.
They think it’s funny to ruffle your hair just as you’re about to go out and you’ve spent 3 hours tonging the shit out of it.
They try to snog you just as you’re about to go out and you’ve just spent half an hour trying to get your winged eyeliner to match up and you’re paranoid they’ll cup your face and smudge it.
They use your knickers to wank with and pop them back in your underwear drawer hoping you won’t notice.
They eat all the snacks and don’t replenish them because your snacks aren’t lager so therefore your snacks are unimportant.
They think loo roll grows on trees.
They never use the air freshener after having the stinkiest poo in the world.
You sleep with them and they forget you’re in bed and kick you 5000 times through the night.
I could go on.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’m not a big fan of the way ladies shop in supermarkets:
A man: Up aisle one, down aisle two/up aisle three, down aisle four etc. Quick and efficient.
A lady: Starts on aisle six, goes back for some toothpaste on aisle two then proceeds to aisle nine before remembering something in aisle two.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"They pick their nose in vehicles as if nobody can see them.
They can never tell when your anger is just about to reach highly volatile levels and is way past the mildly annoyed stage. Then they tell you to “calm down”.
They make only make one cup of tea/coffee every 4 hours and exist on fresh air the rest of the time.
They don’t see the problem in jizzing in your hair.
They think it’s funny to ruffle your hair just as you’re about to go out and you’ve spent 3 hours tonging the shit out of it.
They try to snog you just as you’re about to go out and you’ve just spent half an hour trying to get your winged eyeliner to match up and you’re paranoid they’ll cup your face and smudge it.
They use your knickers to wank with and pop them back in your underwear drawer hoping you won’t notice.
They eat all the snacks and don’t replenish them because your snacks aren’t lager so therefore your snacks are unimportant.
They think loo roll grows on trees.
They never use the air freshener after having the stinkiest poo in the world.
You sleep with them and they forget you’re in bed and kick you 5000 times through the night.
I could go on...."
Yeah, but is there anything that annoys you ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"They pick their nose in vehicles as if nobody can see them.
They can never tell when your anger is just about to reach highly volatile levels and is way past the mildly annoyed stage. Then they tell you to “calm down”.
They make only make one cup of tea/coffee every 4 hours and exist on fresh air the rest of the time.
They don’t see the problem in jizzing in your hair.
They think it’s funny to ruffle your hair just as you’re about to go out and you’ve spent 3 hours tonging the shit out of it.
They try to snog you just as you’re about to go out and you’ve just spent half an hour trying to get your winged eyeliner to match up and you’re paranoid they’ll cup your face and smudge it.
They use your knickers to wank with and pop them back in your underwear drawer hoping you won’t notice.
They eat all the snacks and don’t replenish them because your snacks aren’t lager so therefore your snacks are unimportant.
They think loo roll grows on trees.
They never use the air freshener after having the stinkiest poo in the world.
You sleep with them and they forget you’re in bed and kick you 5000 times through the night.
I could go on...."
Ok ok back the truck up.............use your knickers to wank  seriously? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Being really good cooks but having to use everything in the kitchen to achieve said 'masterpiece'.
Then leaving all the pots to 'soak' knowing full well that they don't have to wash up because they are too busy basking in the glory of their achievement of one meal.
Even though it only happens rarely! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *andonmessMan
over a year ago
A world all of his own |
"Selective hearing..."please can you empty the dishwasher"...no reply
"Please may I suck your cock" said in the same volume, cock thrust in my face before I can say boo.
Strange that ain't it."
That really made me laugh 
How they can't map read!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Being really good cooks but having to use everything in the kitchen to achieve said 'masterpiece'.
Then leaving all the pots to 'soak' knowing full well that they don't have to wash up because they are too busy basking in the glory of their achievement of one meal.
Even though it only happens rarely!"
Does my husband live with you too?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"They pick their nose in vehicles as if nobody can see them.
They can never tell when your anger is just about to reach highly volatile levels and is way past the mildly annoyed stage. Then they tell you to “calm down”.
They make only make one cup of tea/coffee every 4 hours and exist on fresh air the rest of the time.
They don’t see the problem in jizzing in your hair.
They think it’s funny to ruffle your hair just as you’re about to go out and you’ve spent 3 hours tonging the shit out of it.
They try to snog you just as you’re about to go out and you’ve just spent half an hour trying to get your winged eyeliner to match up and you’re paranoid they’ll cup your face and smudge it.
They use your knickers to wank with and pop them back in your underwear drawer hoping you won’t notice.
They eat all the snacks and don’t replenish them because your snacks aren’t lager so therefore your snacks are unimportant.
They think loo roll grows on trees.
They never use the air freshener after having the stinkiest poo in the world.
You sleep with them and they forget you’re in bed and kick you 5000 times through the night.
I could go on....
Ok ok back the truck up.............use your knickers to wank seriously? "
Yeah, because they’re saving the loo roll for later on when they have their 3rd poo of the day!
I don’t mind. Just don’t put them back in the drawer!!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Selective hearing..."please can you empty the dishwasher"...no reply
"Please may I suck your cock" said in the same volume, cock thrust in my face before I can say boo.
Strange that ain't it."
Try "i want to suck cock... After you've emptied the dish washer" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Being really good cooks but having to use everything in the kitchen to achieve said 'masterpiece'.
Then leaving all the pots to 'soak' knowing full well that they don't have to wash up because they are too busy basking in the glory of their achievement of one meal.
Even though it only happens rarely!
Does my husband live with you too? "
No because I didn't get blindfolded and fucked deeply today. Mores the pity! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"They pick their nose in vehicles as if nobody can see them.
They can never tell when your anger is just about to reach highly volatile levels and is way past the mildly annoyed stage. Then they tell you to “calm down”.
They make only make one cup of tea/coffee every 4 hours and exist on fresh air the rest of the time.
They don’t see the problem in jizzing in your hair.
They think it’s funny to ruffle your hair just as you’re about to go out and you’ve spent 3 hours tonging the shit out of it.
They try to snog you just as you’re about to go out and you’ve just spent half an hour trying to get your winged eyeliner to match up and you’re paranoid they’ll cup your face and smudge it.
They use your knickers to wank with and pop them back in your underwear drawer hoping you won’t notice.
They eat all the snacks and don’t replenish them because your snacks aren’t lager so therefore your snacks are unimportant.
They think loo roll grows on trees.
They never use the air freshener after having the stinkiest poo in the world.
You sleep with them and they forget you’re in bed and kick you 5000 times through the night.
I could go on...."
After the shit you've experienced you're easy prey;
Fancy a quicky? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Selective hearing..."please can you empty the dishwasher"...no reply
"Please may I suck your cock" said in the same volume, cock thrust in my face before I can say boo.
Strange that ain't it. try saying "empty the dishwasher while I suck your cock"
"
I shall |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"They pick their nose in vehicles as if nobody can see them.
They can never tell when your anger is just about to reach highly volatile levels and is way past the mildly annoyed stage. Then they tell you to “calm down”.
They make only make one cup of tea/coffee every 4 hours and exist on fresh air the rest of the time.
They don’t see the problem in jizzing in your hair.
They think it’s funny to ruffle your hair just as you’re about to go out and you’ve spent 3 hours tonging the shit out of it.
They try to snog you just as you’re about to go out and you’ve just spent half an hour trying to get your winged eyeliner to match up and you’re paranoid they’ll cup your face and smudge it.
They use your knickers to wank with and pop them back in your underwear drawer hoping you won’t notice.
They eat all the snacks and don’t replenish them because your snacks aren’t lager so therefore your snacks are unimportant.
They think loo roll grows on trees.
They never use the air freshener after having the stinkiest poo in the world.
You sleep with them and they forget you’re in bed and kick you 5000 times through the night.
I could go on...."
Look roll does grow on trees.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"They pick their nose in vehicles as if nobody can see them.
They can never tell when your anger is just about to reach highly volatile levels and is way past the mildly annoyed stage. Then they tell you to “calm down”.
They make only make one cup of tea/coffee every 4 hours and exist on fresh air the rest of the time.
They don’t see the problem in jizzing in your hair.
They think it’s funny to ruffle your hair just as you’re about to go out and you’ve spent 3 hours tonging the shit out of it.
They try to snog you just as you’re about to go out and you’ve just spent half an hour trying to get your winged eyeliner to match up and you’re paranoid they’ll cup your face and smudge it.
They use your knickers to wank with and pop them back in your underwear drawer hoping you won’t notice.
They eat all the snacks and don’t replenish them because your snacks aren’t lager so therefore your snacks are unimportant.
They think loo roll grows on trees.
They never use the air freshener after having the stinkiest poo in the world.
You sleep with them and they forget you’re in bed and kick you 5000 times through the night.
I could go on....
Ok ok back the truck up.............use your knickers to wank seriously?
Yeah, because they’re saving the loo roll for later on when they have their 3rd poo of the day!
I don’t mind. Just don’t put them back in the drawer!!!"
They’d only do it once, I’d go nuts I don’t want baby juice in my knickers, not as the result of wanking |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When you ask "Does my bum look big in this"?
And they reply..
No darling, but your bum would look perfect if you didn't keep shovelling chocolate into your mouth faster than a starving Ethiopian who's not seen food for several days!!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Il tell you what annoys me about my sex
The wierd freaky messages they think are ok to sent people some sick sick puppys out there"
Didn’t ask about your sex, we are talking about the opposite sex. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Mood Swings... enough said
Go for the old women then, those who have reached the menopause donkey's years ago. 99 year olds for you then  "
Good advice... I think |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
"They think household goods are suitable gifts. "
Rather like the guy on a radio Phone-In show a few years ago just after Xmas about unwanted gifts... he had bought his son an IPad, his daughter an I-Phone and his wife an I-Ron!
He couldn't work out why she went ballistic at him? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Selective hearing..."please can you empty the dishwasher"...no reply
"Please may I suck your cock" said in the same volume, cock thrust in my face before I can say boo.
Strange that ain't it."
No not really as they both amount to the same I'm the dish washer the cook the cleaner and if I'm asked to empty myself I'm either going for a wank or a cap but hey offer of a blow job bloody right it's in your face before you can say boo or change your mind |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Il tell you what annoys me about my sex
The wierd freaky messages they think are ok to sent people some sick sick puppys out there
Didn’t ask about your sex, we are talking about the opposite sex."
The swift ability to switch from a losing argument, - that just reminded me! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"They think household goods are suitable gifts.
Rather like the guy on a radio Phone-In show a few years ago just after Xmas about unwanted gifts... he had bought his son an IPad, his daughter an I-Phone and his wife an I-Ron!
He couldn't work out why she went ballistic at him? "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Their complete lack of movie etiquette.
When I tell a woman I'm going to see a movie she's already seen she almost invariably says something like "oh yeah that's the one where it turns out the good guy was the murderer in the end isn't it?". Thanks for spoiling the ending love 
And then you're at a crucial point in a movie, one guy says something and it's critical you hear the other guy's reply. But what do you hear instead? The woman you're with asking you loudly "what did that guy just say?" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ldguyMan
over a year ago
ongar |
"They find random shit on the telly, insist on watching it then fall asleep clutching the remote within 5 minutes of watching I."
Yeah it's called corrie, deadenders, nieghbores and ffing hollycrap whatever happened to crackerjack! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Mansplaining
Manspreading on public transport. The last time I was on a full train the stranger/man in the seat next to mine not only spread his legs he also thought it appropriate to reach across my lap to plug/unplug his phone.
Repeating the point I made earlier as if it's a new revelation that only they could have arrived at.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"They leave long hair everywhere.
Do yours stay stubbornly put because they can't bear to leave their lustrous brethren?"
Yeah, stubborn bastards. They're making my head very hot in this weather. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"They leave long hair everywhere.
Do yours stay stubbornly put because they can't bear to leave their lustrous brethren?
Yeah, stubborn bastards. They're making my head very hot in this weather. "
Hellishly inconsiderate! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *xhib12Man
over a year ago
Blyth |
"They think household goods are suitable gifts.
It’s all about practicality; a pair of oven gloves will prevent a lady burning her delicate hands whilst she cooks the tea "
A pair of welding gloves are half the price and will last much longer. Have to watch the pennies in these times of austerity ?? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"“ why men don’t think and women can’t read maps” lol ... ace book!
They can read maps but have to hold them upside down so the car is pointing in the right direction "
Haha have to admit I do this  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *tirluvMan
over a year ago
the right frame of mind -London |
"I hate it that ladies never put the toilet seat down after they’re done....
If they're putting it up to pee they're not women "
and if theyy're not before they pee -well they've possibly pissed themselves already |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
Stealing my chips, pudding or vodka (Knowing full well, that I don't like her gin).
Nicking my razors.
Duvet tug of war. (weaker sex my arse!...Ricky Tomlinson)
Exposing my feet from under the duvet.
Three soap operas on the trot, all with the same storyline.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
hear hear
Mr
