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Genitals scratching in public

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man  over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Yes, in honour of the touch line antics of Germany’s manager Joachim Low and his not so subtle ball scratching (and subsequent finger sniffing), how do you all take care of those inevitable itch’s you get every now and then (especially in this bloody heat) centring around your neither regions whilst in a public vicinity?

Are you a hands in pockets gonad fumbler type of person or else do you cross your legs tightly in the hope that the interminable desire to scratch will eventually subside?

Ladies don’t be coy also - there’s no shame in it so please feel free to relate your itchy-fanny- whilst-out-and-about tales of woe and enjoy the resulting feeling of true sexual liberation....or something

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Isnt an Itchfanny 500 a Japanese motorbike?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I rub up against a tree.

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man  over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"Isnt an Itchfanny 500 a Japanese motorbike? "

I think it’s apparently so called as the revs were at such a specific frequency as to spontaneously materialise crabs from the ether onto whoever was riding the bike at the time

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man  over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"I rub up against a tree. "

The tried and trusted technique as utilised by wise bears in the wild. Just mind those splinters however......

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I find a little corner

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

This thread reminds me of that actress who used to be in East enders, she was always at it...what was her name now...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I’m pretty sure some security guards have seen me either pulling my knickers out of my arse, having a little scratch or sorting out my bra!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

...ahh yeah that was it. Martine Mycuntsitchin'

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man  over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"I find a little corner "

The privacy technique; I understand many ladies opt for this one. I’ve also found that said ladies tend to become annoyed if one tries to film them performing this highly secretive art

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Bag on lap. Bag on lap.

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man  over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"I’m pretty sure some security guards have seen me either pulling my knickers out of my arse, having a little scratch or sorting out my bra!"

Remember, security cameras are everywhere to. You may be a star without knowing it.....

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man  over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"...ahh yeah that was it. Martine Mycuntsitchin' "

Wasn’t she also in Love Actually (is really itching my fanny!) ?

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man  over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"Bag on lap. Bag on lap."

The military principle of camouflage combined with the magician’s art of slight of hand; Now that is a clever tactic m’lady. I once stood behind a car door and scratched my arse but it wasn’t nearly as classy

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I’m waiting for MOTD to put together a montage of Joachim Low doing his scratch and sniff

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man  over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"I’m waiting for MOTD to put together a montage of Joachim Low doing his scratch and sniff "

Don’t forget his nose picking/bogey rolling antics to. The man is legendary I tell thee!

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By *uke olovingmanMan  over a year ago

Gravesend

What about bounce bounce scratch arse bounce scratch bollox serve tennis bloke

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I was at the traffic lights yesterday and saw a man just reach into his waistband, dive down and have a good old scratch. The lights changed before I saw whether he sniffed on the withdrawal.

My problem is usually sitting on my lips awkwardly. I end up looking like a dog with worms as I squirm to get a better position.

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man  over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"What about bounce bounce scratch arse bounce scratch bollox serve tennis bloke "

The ol’ball juggling technique - coupled with the willy flick; Truly formidable

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man  over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"I was at the traffic lights yesterday and saw a man just reach into his waistband, dive down and have a good old scratch. The lights changed before I saw whether he sniffed on the withdrawal.

My problem is usually sitting on my lips awkwardly. I end up looking like a dog with worms as I squirm to get a better position.

"

You need to perfect the patented ‘Circular wiggle’ method; simply press your pelvis down onto the seat and move your hips around in a circular motion to ease the itch beneath you. I should really compose a treatise on this fascinating subject

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Years ago I read a letter in a magazine from a woman who had a very itchy bum as she was out shopping. She backed into a shop doorway and scratched to her hearts content only to turn round and find a horrified window dresser staring at her

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By *icketysplitsWoman  over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I was at the traffic lights yesterday and saw a man just reach into his waistband, dive down and have a good old scratch. The lights changed before I saw whether he sniffed on the withdrawal.

My problem is usually sitting on my lips awkwardly. I end up looking like a dog with worms as I squirm to get a better position.

You need to perfect the patented ‘Circular wiggle’ method; simply press your pelvis down onto the seat and move your hips around in a circular motion to ease the itch beneath you. I should really compose a treatise on this fascinating subject "

It will be a bestseller. It just needs a catchy title.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Years ago I read a letter in a magazine from a woman who had a very itchy bum as she was out shopping. She backed into a shop doorway and scratched to her hearts content only to turn round and find a horrified window dresser staring at her "

Something in your eye madam ?

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By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man  over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"Years ago I read a letter in a magazine from a woman who had a very itchy bum as she was out shopping. She backed into a shop doorway and scratched to her hearts content only to turn round and find a horrified window dresser staring at her "

Definitely one of those ‘Ground please swallow me up!’ moments

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