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This made me laugh

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By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, were excessively mischievous.

They were always getting into trouble and their parents

knew all about it.

If any mischief occurred in their town, the two boys were

probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been

successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would

speak with her boys.

The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.

So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning,

with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the

younger boy down and asked him sternly,

'Do you know where God is, son?'

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response,

sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.

So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone,

'Where is God?'

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher

raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and

bellowed, 'Where is God?'

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home

and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked,

'What happened?'

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied,

'We are in BIG trouble this time,'

'GOD is missing, and they think we did it!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This made me laugh..........

Why are women like clouds.......

Eventually they fuck off and then it's a nice day...............

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By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"This made me laugh..........

Why are women like clouds.......

Just a shame men are not clouds then

Eventually they fuck off and then it's a nice day...............

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By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

I did type "shame men are not clouds then" but it dissappeared

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I did type "shame men are not clouds then" but it dissappeared"

I have said it before but women and technology is a combination that is never ever going to work !!

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By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I did type "shame men are not clouds then" but it dissappeared

I have said it before but women and technology is a combination that is never ever going to work !!"

But thats why we have men so they can do all the technical stuff like change lightbulbs and plugs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I did type "shame men are not clouds then" but it dissappeared

I have said it before but women and technology is a combination that is never ever going to work !!

But thats why we have men so they can do all the technical stuff like change lightbulbs and plugs"

If the mad bird from Cheltenham ever finds out you owned up to us blokes being able to do something the posse can't then you are going to be in a whole world of Pooh....................no choc cake or champers for you miss..........

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By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I did type "shame men are not clouds then" but it dissappeared

I have said it before but women and technology is a combination that is never ever going to work !!

But thats why we have men so they can do all the technical stuff like change lightbulbs and plugs

Not saying i cant do it but why keep a dog and bark yourself, i can do lots of things whether i choose to do them or not is entirely a different matter (insert wink)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I bet you can't make a noise like a machine gun!

Siren has been given a couple of crutches to hobble around on as she's developed SPD (her pelvis has loosened up too much too soon) and, being a man, when she got home with her new cruthces I took a look at them and no sooner had I got hold of it that it instantly turned itself into a machine gun and I was pointing it around the room making machine gun noises - you know, da-da-da, da-da-da sort of thing.

Siren tutted and muttered something like 'little boy' so I gave her the other crutch and said, "go on then, you do it', to which she replied, "no, I can't, you'll laugh at me," - I assued her I wouldn't but she still refused to make a machine gun noise saying that only silly little boys did things like that.

I just put it down to her being a girl and that's how I know that girls can't make machine gun noises!

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By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

I cant recall ever having the need to make a noise like a machine gun. Dont think i can translate the noise thats coming out of my mouth to text. (YEs wishy you got me sitting here trying to make a machine gun noise)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's plain to see that you never played 'war' when you were younger, focussing instead on the latest 'Divorce Barbie' - you know, the Barbie that comes with all Ken's stuff. hehehe

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By *adchickCouple over a year ago

Cyprus

"I did type "shame men are not clouds then" but it dissappeared

I have said it before but women and technology is a combination that is never ever going to work !!

But thats why we have men so they can do all the technical stuff like change lightbulbs and plugs

What can men do that 2 sets of batteries or a a strap on can't?

Mow the grass!

If we did everything for ourselves, how would you men ever get to feel useful?

I don't do anything that a man is meant to do........ why else would I keep Jason?

**ner ner ner ner**

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By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"It's plain to see that you never played 'war' when you were younger, focussing instead on the latest 'Divorce Barbie' - you know, the Barbie that comes with all Ken's stuff. hehehe"

I only ever had one doll when i was little, my sister was a tom boy. I always had my head stuck in a book when i was in the house and out making dens when i wasnt. We did play cowboys and indians and i made an indian noise by opening my mouth and keep putting my hand over it while blowing out so does that count.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I did type "shame men are not clouds then" but it dissappeared

I have said it before but women and technology is a combination that is never ever going to work !!

But thats why we have men so they can do all the technical stuff like change lightbulbs and plugs

What can men do that 2 sets of batteries or a a strap on can't?

Mow the grass!

If we did everything for ourselves, how would you men ever get to feel useful?

I don't do anything that a man is meant to do........ why else would I keep Jason?

**ner ner ner ner**"

ONLY a man can give you that regular portion of "hot salty gargle" that most of you women seem to enjoy..............try getting that from a pair of AA's and a strap on.........

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

brilliant

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And it's all gone quiet over there

It's all gone quiet over there

It's all gone quiet

all gone quiet

It's all gone quiet over there

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Q: Why do men become smarter during sex?

A: Because they are plugged into a genius.

Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?

A: They don't have time.

Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?

A: They won't stop for directions.

Q: Why did God put men on earth?

A: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

Q: Why don't women have men's brains?

A: Because they don't have penises to put them in.

Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common?

A: They're intended for children, but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.

Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?

A: Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock.

Q: Why do men masturbate?

A: It's sex with someone they love.

Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?

A: So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

Q: Why did God make men before women?

A: You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.

Q: Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?

A: So he can tell if he is coming or going.

Q: How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?

A: Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet.

Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?

A: What men know about women.

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One. Men will screw anything.

Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?

A: He eats beans for dinner.

Q: What's a man's idea of foreplay?

A: A half hour of begging.

Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually aroused?

A: He's breathing

Q: What's the difference between men and government bonds?

A: Government bonds mature.

Q: How do you save a man from drowning?

A: Take your foot off of his head.

Q: What do men and beer bottle have in common?

A: They are both empty from the head up.

Q: How can you tell if a man is happy?

A: Who cares?

Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

A: We don't know. It's never happened.

Q: How are men and parking spots alike?

A: The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicapped.

Q: What is a man's idea of helping out with housework?

A: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Didn't spot the answer to "how to get a portion of baby gravy out of a set of AA's and a strap on" in that lot

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Didn't spot the answer to "how to get a portion of baby gravy out of a set of AA's and a strap on" in that lot

Not essential for knee trembling

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Still no answer..............oh dear oh dear the Mad Cheltenham bird will not be amused that us men have outsmarted you..................

Q. Why do women close their eyes during sex?

A. They can't stand to see a man have a good time.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

"Still no answer..............oh dear oh dear the Mad Cheltenham bird will not be amused that us men have outsmarted you..................

Q. Why do women close their eyes during sex?

A. They can't stand to see a man have a good time."

Or it could be that they're asleep?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?

A: The sex is the same but the dirty dishes pile up.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

"Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?

A: The sex is the same but the dirty dishes pile up."

Should'nt you be primping and polishing for a night out with some of the pussy posse?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I was fearful then yes........but as I am not.......

Q. Why is it called PMT?

A. Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

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By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?

A: The sex is the same but the dirty dishes pile up.

Should'nt you be primping and polishing for a night out with some of the pussy posse?

Neeeeeeeeeeeer honey zipp him up in a bodybag he will look just fine

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

pmsl

Are you home now? have you had a great day xxxxx

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By *elboyandDelgirlCouple over a year ago

glasgow

whats the best thing about a blowjob???

answer....the silence.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

Yeh and that aint the only thing you enjoy about a blow job I bet lol

If your lady has read this Id be a bit wary of teeth the next time shes down there if I were you lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Q. What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?

A. Divorced.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Q.What do clever women and UFOs have in common?

A. You always hear about them but whose ever seen one!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I cant recall ever having the need to make a noise like a machine gun. Dont think i can translate the noise thats coming out of my mouth to text. (YEs wishy you got me sitting here trying to make a machine gun noise)"

I just did the same Diamond lol and wayyyy heyyyy I can do it, three attempts yet I did it, so there you go Boy Possy its not just for blokes.

I wonder if its cos I was in the TA in my late teens and used SMG's at the time. lol Rather that or perhaps I should have been a bloke heheheh x;)

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