FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > You're undateable
You're undateable
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm 43
I am a single mum of two young kids (under 10), one of whom has a developmental disorder and his disorder may get more challenging as he gets older.
We live with my mum
I have a mum with mobility issues so she requires a lot of help.
I'm very tall.
I'm fat.
I have a dog.
I suffer with depression off and on.
I'm experiencing peri menopausal symptoms.
Other than all this, i'm a catch  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
I have been a swinger and enjoy being watched having sex.
I wish I knew but dating things have told me there are no matches for me. No one who meets me wants to date me either (the swinger thing and my madness are touched on).
I have been told that I am lovely, sexy, attractive, intelligent fun and interesting. I've also been told I am bonkers and that it's not my fault that I have had the career I have had but it's a little intimidating.
= Undateable Me.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My collection of singing potatoes and the fact I'm quite, quite mad. 
But is your real name Dr. Hildegard Landstrom?
#Busted "
I'm sure you'll be a valuable asset to the team  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I work too much and have no free time to date.
Turns out guys don't like it when they only get to see a woman twice a month (yes this is from experience)
And I can't cook. Tend to use the smoke detector like a timer! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm 43
I am a single mum of two young kids (under 10), one of whom has a developmental disorder and his disorder may get more challenging as he gets older.
We live with my mum
I have a mum with mobility issues so she requires a lot of help.
I'm very tall.
I'm fat.
I have a dog.
I suffer with depression off and on.
I'm experiencing peri menopausal symptoms.
Other than all this, i'm a catch "
Still fab tho  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My collection of singing potatoes and the fact I'm quite, quite mad.
But is your real name Dr. Hildegard Landstrom?
#Busted
I'm sure you'll be a valuable asset to the team "
You know what you can get me for Christmas tho  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My collection of singing potatoes and the fact I'm quite, quite mad.
But is your real name Dr. Hildegard Landstrom?
#Busted
I'm sure you'll be a valuable asset to the team
You know what you can get me for Christmas tho "
A puzzle book with all the crosswords filled in? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My collection of singing potatoes and the fact I'm quite, quite mad.
But is your real name Dr. Hildegard Landstrom?
#Busted
I'm sure you'll be a valuable asset to the team
You know what you can get me for Christmas tho
A puzzle book with all the crosswords filled in?"
And a crochet magazine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My collection of singing potatoes and the fact I'm quite, quite mad.
But is your real name Dr. Hildegard Landstrom?
#Busted
I'm sure you'll be a valuable asset to the team
You know what you can get me for Christmas tho
A puzzle book with all the crosswords filled in?
And a crochet magazine."
Game of chess? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My collection of singing potatoes and the fact I'm quite, quite mad.
But is your real name Dr. Hildegard Landstrom?
#Busted
I'm sure you'll be a valuable asset to the team
You know what you can get me for Christmas tho
A puzzle book with all the crosswords filled in?
And a crochet magazine.
Game of chess?"
I love chess, however Mr Flibble gets very cross.
How's about a game of pool?
|
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I’m probably undatable due being emotionally damaged with complex trust issues.
I’m also a prolific womaniser these days. I am however 95% honest. I also a sexual deviant but that’s a bonus.
The best thing about being single is getting the Tesco finest meal deal for two then be able to eat the whole thing yourself! |
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" Assuming you were in the dating arena, what would be the aspect about you that could potentially make you undateable? 
Raw truth is always best!"
Farting and snoring in bed - and being a swinger!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Matt: hes steak farts are toxic. Hes a grump. Hes need to plan everything (boos opinions of course)
Me: weight. I snore and dribble in my sleep. I dont plan anything. ( matts opinion would be different im sure)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In the past the list has been
1 I'm friends with my first wife, and the Green eyed monster pops up eventually.
2 my age and my son's age make long term plans difficult, women my age tend to have older kids who aren't so dependant, and women who have kids my son's age tend to be quite young themselves.
3 I don't understand the concept of jealously, I could be head over heels in love with someone and still not bat an eyelid if she was fucking someone else in front of me.
4 I'm fiercely independent, I haven't needed a woman to look after me since I was about 12, and it comes across as me being critical.
But now I have the maid in my life, and as much as I love being single, she makes my life happier, easier, and more fun all round, she is the single most special person I have ever met, she gets me, and I get her, and yeah, there are things she does that are annoying, but I'm more than willing to put up with it because the rest of her personality is worth it.
We are at the stage now where we have introduced our kids to each other and it's all great.
Sorry for going on lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My collection of singing potatoes and the fact I'm quite, quite mad.
But is your real name Dr. Hildegard Landstrom?
#Busted
I'm sure you'll be a valuable asset to the team
You know what you can get me for Christmas tho
A puzzle book with all the crosswords filled in?
And a crochet magazine.
Game of chess?
I love chess, however Mr Flibble gets very cross.
How's about a game of pool?
"
Balls or planets? And have you checked under the table for Ouroboros boxes? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The fact I’m still quite good friends with my ex husband, lots of men wouldn’t be that understanding lol.
Geeky x"
Same here. Really good mates with ex wife but think it's amazing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The fact that I don't really like people has historically been my problem. I honestly don't know how I found someone who would marry me.  "
I would marry you if you wore long socks everyday
And to answer the question, me or should I say I! I make myself undatable  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Assuming you were in the dating arena, what would be the aspect about you that could potentially make you undateable?
Raw truth is always best!"
A low self esteem  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The fact I’m still quite good friends with my ex husband, lots of men wouldn’t be that understanding lol.
Geeky x
Same here. Really good mates with ex wife but think it's amazing. "
Made it better for the kids in my opinion, plus also I was friends with him for 8 years before we got married so you know, we are just where we are before we married lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My farting when I start I can't stop
Can you play a tune ?
Emmerdale tune it's great
Impressive
"
I know ....even more impressive when in the bath and watching the bubbles |
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"Raw truth is always best!"
And that is and always will be my downfall.
People say they want the truth.. And I'll tell the coldest harshest truth you've ever heard..
Suddenly your the bad guy.. humans  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Anxiety disorder
Fiercely independent
Grumpy
High sex drive
A bit overweight
Very dorky
Massive geek
Awkward
Been very promiscuous
And possibly can't have kids
So yeah pretty much undateable to men and so decided that I'll bat for the other team as I'm bi anyway and see if that attracts better results lol
Maybe the issue has always been I don't like men enough lol |
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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago
Traffic land |
Fiercely independent, lack of spare time (and that I do have I like to be with friends or on my own on the sofa in my Jim jams), unwillingness to let my family life be encroached on by anyone else.
I’m not as horrid as that makes me sound |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My collection of singing potatoes and the fact I'm quite, quite mad.
But is your real name Dr. Hildegard Landstrom?
#Busted
I'm sure you'll be a valuable asset to the team
You know what you can get me for Christmas tho
A puzzle book with all the crosswords filled in?
And a crochet magazine.
Game of chess?
I love chess, however Mr Flibble gets very cross.
How's about a game of pool?
Balls or planets? And have you checked under the table for Ouroboros boxes?"
Balls obviously,
I can knock those striped balls around the table all night long, and I tell you what, I have never once lost a single ball down one of those holes!
You know they call me Madi "Cinzano Bianco" Blue 'cause once I was on the table, you couldn't get rid of me.
Will go check for our rob or ross boxes. |
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" Assuming you were in the dating arena, what would be the aspect about you that could potentially make you undateable? Raw truth is always best!"
I'm both socially inept and often anti-social
I'm obsessed with cats
I have nerdy interests like the London Underground, and great apes
I have little self esteem/confidence
Given my age the menopause must be imminent so could potentially be about to morph into even more of an old crone than I already am! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Stubborn. A bit of a loner. Can talk/bore someone to death if I do get chance. Probably smell of dog or horse most of the day. Likes a double bed all to myself now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My collection of singing potatoes and the fact I'm quite, quite mad.
But is your real name Dr. Hildegard Landstrom?
#Busted
I'm sure you'll be a valuable asset to the team
You know what you can get me for Christmas tho
A puzzle book with all the crosswords filled in?
And a crochet magazine.
Game of chess?
I love chess, however Mr Flibble gets very cross.
How's about a game of pool?
Balls or planets? And have you checked under the table for Ouroboros boxes?
Balls obviously,
I can knock those striped balls around the table all night long, and I tell you what, I have never once lost a single ball down one of those holes!
You know they call me Madi "Cinzano Bianco" Blue 'cause once I was on the table, you couldn't get rid of me.
Will go check for our rob or ross boxes."
Cool. I'll go and put the toaster on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Indesisive, a little bit crazy, limited availability, I want more than just one person to have sex with forever 
I like dp, group sex and trying to introduce ‘normal’ people to this life is more than a challenge lol
Fab boys just want sex and I hate feeling like I’m being used 
Basicly doomed lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My collection of singing potatoes and the fact I'm quite, quite mad.
But is your real name Dr. Hildegard Landstrom?
#Busted
I'm sure you'll be a valuable asset to the team
You know what you can get me for Christmas tho
A puzzle book with all the crosswords filled in?
And a crochet magazine.
Game of chess?
I love chess, however Mr Flibble gets very cross.
How's about a game of pool?
Balls or planets? And have you checked under the table for Ouroboros boxes?
Balls obviously,
I can knock those striped balls around the table all night long, and I tell you what, I have never once lost a single ball down one of those holes!
You know they call me Madi "Cinzano Bianco" Blue 'cause once I was on the table, you couldn't get rid of me.
Will go check for our rob or ross boxes.
Cool. I'll go and put the toaster on."
You'll never hear the last of it, best take the lump hammer, just incase. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My collection of singing potatoes and the fact I'm quite, quite mad.
But is your real name Dr. Hildegard Landstrom?
#Busted
I'm sure you'll be a valuable asset to the team
You know what you can get me for Christmas tho
A puzzle book with all the crosswords filled in?
And a crochet magazine.
Game of chess?
I love chess, however Mr Flibble gets very cross.
How's about a game of pool?
Balls or planets? And have you checked under the table for Ouroboros boxes?
Balls obviously,
I can knock those striped balls around the table all night long, and I tell you what, I have never once lost a single ball down one of those holes!
You know they call me Madi "Cinzano Bianco" Blue 'cause once I was on the table, you couldn't get rid of me.
Will go check for our rob or ross boxes.
Cool. I'll go and put the toaster on.
You'll never hear the last of it, best take the lump hammer, just incase. "
I'll just get it started on the subject of waffles, that'll keep it out of trouble. |
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I'm a bit of a twat
Fiercely independent
Have an attitude
Swear enough to make a navvy blush
Stupidly tall
Have a very complicated family life
Like my own space
I have serious commitment issues
Hate ironing
|
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" Assuming you were in the dating arena, what would be the aspect about you that could potentially make you undateable?
Raw truth is always best!
A low self esteem "
Aww but you have great shoulders!! |
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Where to start.
I'd scare them off because I would tell them straight up exactly what I was after long term.
If they were still there after that they would have to cope with me not being girly or willing to do the giggling and batting of eyelashes thing.
I think that would just about put the tin lid on it .
We often say its a good thing we met each other because nobody else would put up with us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I drink too much tea, dunk too many biscuits & constantly eating cake. Plus I look like an older version of the Milky Bar Kid or, where's Wally "
Are you me from the future? |
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"I drink too much tea, dunk too many biscuits & constantly eating cake. Plus I look like an older version of the Milky Bar Kid or, where's Wally
Are you me from the future? "
Yes, now if I could just get this damn Flux Capacitor working again... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I drink too much tea, dunk too many biscuits & constantly eating cake. Plus I look like an older version of the Milky Bar Kid or, where's Wally
Are you me from the future?
Yes, now if I could just get this damn Flux Capacitor working again..."
I make it past 40? Excellent, I never thought I would. |
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"I drink too much tea, dunk too many biscuits & constantly eating cake. Plus I look like an older version of the Milky Bar Kid or, where's Wally
Are you me from the future?
Yes, now if I could just get this damn Flux Capacitor working again...
I make it past 40? Excellent, I never thought I would. "
No no wait, there's something important you need to know first. Orange Pekoe is your friend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I drink too much tea, dunk too many biscuits & constantly eating cake. Plus I look like an older version of the Milky Bar Kid or, where's Wally
Are you me from the future?
Yes, now if I could just get this damn Flux Capacitor working again...
I make it past 40? Excellent, I never thought I would.
No no wait, there's something important you need to know first. Orange Pekoe is your friend."
I always wanted a friend |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Still in love with my ex!?
This is the wrong place for you x"
Not really. Just means I Dont want a relationship. Casual meets are OK. Just dont want to commit to anything or fall in love. Besides I think you'll all miss me if I go? |
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