.....So, I was rifling through my loft earlier and lo and behold, what should I find amongst a pile of old books but a (likely priceless) previously lost manuscript by none other than the Grandfather of modern psychology himself, Mr Sigmund Freud!
Yes, I shit you not!
The revolutionary contents of said manuscript reveal how Freud’s own pioneering psychoanalytical principles can be applied in order to precipitate success in sexual relationships. I quote the following excerpt: ‘Me and my mate Carl (Jung) are simply swimming in pussy so I thought I’d share the secret techniques with other men to!’
The said secret revolves around Freud’s notion that seeing as all ladies are driven by the Super Ego, an Id driven male can easily exploit it by instilling guilt into her fragile psyche in order to get into her bloomers.
But despite what feminists might think, the book is not in the slightest bit sexist and even has a whole chapter aimed at ladies which I will now quote in its entirety below:
‘Women are all bloody well suffering from neurosis and penis envy!’
Absolutely amazing stuff I’m sure you’ll all agree?
In fact, is there anyone here interested in publishing it for me - I mean for the late, great Freud?
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
".....So, I was rifling through my loft earlier and lo and behold, what should I find amongst a pile of old books but a (likely priceless) previously lost manuscript by none other than the Grandfather of modern psychology himself, Mr Sigmund Freud!
Yes, I shit you not!
The revolutionary contents of said manuscript reveal how Freud’s own pioneering psychoanalytical principles can be applied in order to precipitate success in sexual relationships. I quote the following excerpt: ‘Me and my mate Carl (Jung) are simply swimming in pussy so I thought I’d share the secret techniques with other men to!’
The said secret revolves around Freud’s notion that seeing as all ladies are driven by the Super Ego, an Id driven male can easily exploit it by instilling guilt into her fragile psyche in order to get into her bloomers.
But despite what feminists might think, the book is not in the slightest bit sexist and even has a whole chapter aimed at ladies which I will now quote in its entirety below:
‘Women are all bloody well suffering from neurosis and penis envy!’
Absolutely amazing stuff I’m sure you’ll all agree?
In fact, is there anyone here interested in publishing it for me - I mean for the late, great Freud?
"
No way those are quotes lol! He was a bit of a perv if you ask me.....  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ok. Firstly, how did Freud get that in your loft? 
And secondly it's a well known fact that the ID is the driving factor in any Freudian theory.
The ego and super ego are purely parts of our personality driven by society and influence.
Nice try though |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
There’s also a great chapter in which Freud details techniques online (Freud was obviously also gifted with precognition apparently) wherein he supplies failsafe chat up lines and tactics specifically designed to efficaciously cause any lady to drop her undergarments at her ankles in as swift a manner as though the elastic had snapped
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
He was really ahead of his time wasn't he?
I mean, I'm shocked they never nicknamed him Mystic Freud. All that precognition, he could have saved time on therapy and just predicted their future, charging them a tenner for the privilege
P x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
