FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Anyone else read the poop knife story today?
Anyone else read the poop knife story today?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was at work on night shift and patient had blocked toilet .I had a look and couldn't believe it .little frail lady blocked loo .I couldn't unblock it .so had to phone estates to unblock it .He looked at me and looked at her and laughed .if I had ,had a stick it would of been easier .patient said she felt better and much lighter . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yikes, what on earth had he been eating to need one of those? 
"
Apparently his missus didn’t know what it’s for and started using it in the kitchen, who the fuck used a rusty knife for anything these days!? If it wasn’t January I would say it’s an April fools... why do I get the feeling this guy isn’t the only one?! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5271389/Man-discovers-having-poop-knife-isnt-normal.html
Hang on let’s have the obligatory “oh not the Daily Fail” comment.  "
Wasn’t just the daily fail that’s reported it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a carpet fitter by trade and years ago my mate had a turd in the new build we were fitting out. The water had been switched off, he had to cut it down with his carpet shears and borrow water from the site office. Oh how I laughed  |
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"http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5271389/Man-discovers-having-poop-knife-isnt-normal.html
Hang on let’s have the obligatory “oh not the Daily Fail” comment.
Wasn’t just the daily fail that’s reported it "
It’s not my line, I’m just standing in for others. You can’t post that name without it happening, it’s fab forum tradition.
I thought it sounded like a Daily Sport article. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What the actual fuck?! Who has a knife by the loo for turds?!
As you were,
Geeky x"
A neighbour of mine has one, he told my late husband he chops the turds up or they won't flush away. XXX |
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So I'm going to admit that when I clicked this thread, based purely on the title, a link to a daily fail article about a guy who keeps a knife to use when his toilet is blocked wasn't what I expected.
I genuinely thought someone was cutting poop into segments or doing something grim involving both excrement and blood. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So I'm going to admit that when I clicked this thread, based purely on the title, a link to a daily fail article about a guy who keeps a knife to use when his toilet is blocked wasn't what I expected.
I genuinely thought someone was cutting poop into segments or doing something grim involving both excrement and blood. "
Well at least it wasn’t as grim as you thought! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Twice I've been on holiday with my cousin, twice she's blocked the toilet the last time she managed to flood the bathroom so bad we got given another room!! Guess what she's getting for Christmas 
Ginger |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was at work on night shift and patient had blocked toilet .I had a look and couldn't believe it .little frail lady blocked loo .I couldn't unblock it .so had to phone estates to unblock it .He looked at me and looked at her and laughed .if I had ,had a stick it would of been easier .patient said she felt better and much lighter ."
we have this at work sometimes- their bathrooms are en suite wet rooms so we get the shower head and blast with hot water - dissolves most |
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"I was at work on night shift and patient had blocked toilet .I had a look and couldn't believe it .little frail lady blocked loo .I couldn't unblock it .so had to phone estates to unblock it .He looked at me and looked at her and laughed .if I had ,had a stick it would of been easier .patient said she felt better and much lighter .
we have this at work sometimes- their bathrooms are en suite wet rooms so we get the shower head and blast with hot water - dissolves most "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was at work on night shift and patient had blocked toilet .I had a look and couldn't believe it .little frail lady blocked loo .I couldn't unblock it .so had to phone estates to unblock it .He looked at me and looked at her and laughed .if I had ,had a stick it would of been easier .patient said she felt better and much lighter .
we have this at work sometimes- their bathrooms are en suite wet rooms so we get the shower head and blast with hot water - dissolves most
"
better to deal with than those who cant make it to the loo pink  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was at work on night shift and patient had blocked toilet .I had a look and couldn't believe it .little frail lady blocked loo .I couldn't unblock it .so had to phone estates to unblock it .He looked at me and looked at her and laughed .if I had ,had a stick it would of been easier .patient said she felt better and much lighter .
we have this at work sometimes- their bathrooms are en suite wet rooms so we get the shower head and blast with hot water - dissolves most
better to deal with than those who cant make it to the loo pink "
Probably constipated for a week, then Armageddon!.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not quite the same but I have a friend who didn't see our issue with her family having a "flower towel" which they all used after cleaning their bits. She insisted it made sense so no one dried their hands on a towel someone had used post shower.
We did point out we just all use a fresh towel each. |
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"Not quite the same but I have a friend who didn't see our issue with her family having a "flower towel" which they all used after cleaning their bits. She insisted it made sense so no one dried their hands on a towel someone had used post shower.
We did point out we just all use a fresh towel each. "
O
M
G
That’s all kinds of wrong
Have I understood this correctly, they all use the same towel?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not quite the same but I have a friend who didn't see our issue with her family having a "flower towel" which they all used after cleaning their bits. She insisted it made sense so no one dried their hands on a towel someone had used post shower.
We did point out we just all use a fresh towel each. "
 |
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"Not quite the same but I have a friend who didn't see our issue with her family having a "flower towel" which they all used after cleaning their bits. She insisted it made sense so no one dried their hands on a towel someone had used post shower.
We did point out we just all use a fresh towel each. "
Oh dear god. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not quite the same but I have a friend who didn't see our issue with her family having a "flower towel" which they all used after cleaning their bits. She insisted it made sense so no one dried their hands on a towel someone had used post shower.
We did point out we just all use a fresh towel each.
O
M
G
That’s all kinds of wrong
Have I understood this correctly, they all use the same towel? "
Oh I didn't notice this! Yes they did  |
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"Not quite the same but I have a friend who didn't see our issue with her family having a "flower towel" which they all used after cleaning their bits. She insisted it made sense so no one dried their hands on a towel someone had used post shower.
We did point out we just all use a fresh towel each.
O
M
G
That’s all kinds of wrong
Have I understood this correctly, they all use the same towel?
Oh I didn't notice this! Yes they did "
I won’t even share a hand towel in the toilet, never mind one for drying everyone’s bits |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What the actual fuck?! Who has a knife by the loo for turds?!
As you were,
Geeky x"
I have met various people who have used poo knives. I found it hilarious, but why not just use a toilet brush to guide anything unflushable? |
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"What the actual fuck?! Who has a knife by the loo for turds?!
As you were,
Geeky x
I have met various people who have used poo knives. I found it hilarious, but why not just use a toilet brush to guide anything unflushable?"
Wouldn’t it all get stuck in the brush? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just thought of this thread and it made me 
You need more fibre in your diet. Good luck with the next flush. 
Don’t tell Swing that he’ll be force feeding me beans "
Beans, beans they make you fart
The more you eat, the more you fart
The more you fart, the better you feel
So let’s have beans with every meal |
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"Just thought of this thread and it made me
You need more fibre in your diet. Good luck with the next flush.
Don’t tell Swing that he’ll be force feeding me beans
Beans, beans they make you fart
The more you eat, the more you fart
The more you fart, the better you feel
So let’s have beans with every meal "
How old are you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just thought of this thread and it made me
You need more fibre in your diet. Good luck with the next flush.
Don’t tell Swing that he’ll be force feeding me beans
Beans, beans they make you fart
The more you eat, the more you fart
The more you fart, the better you feel
So let’s have beans with every meal
How old are you? "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For any newbies that didn’t enjoy this thread...following in from the poo wiping thread
Danish x
You just had to go and dig it out.."
I live to serve....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh God, dont for fuck sake. Done talk about the poo knife!
What the hell is the poo knife?
There’s a link earlier in the thread enjoy "
I get a feeling I’m gonna regret this.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh God, dont for fuck sake. Done talk about the poo knife!
What the hell is the poo knife?
There’s a link earlier in the thread enjoy
I get a feeling I’m gonna regret this.
Oh fo sho "
Sweet. Baby. Jesus.
I’ve read/heard it all now! |
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"Oh God, dont for fuck sake. Done talk about the poo knife!
What the hell is the poo knife?
There’s a link earlier in the thread enjoy
I get a feeling I’m gonna regret this.
Oh fo sho
Sweet. Baby. Jesus.
I’ve read/heard it all now!"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All this talk of loo rolls has reminded me of this thread "
It's a really old post from 2018 on Reddit.
https://amp.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/7qn75k/poop_knife_from_reddit/ |
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“My what?”
Your poop knife, I say. I need to use it. Please.
“Wtf is a poop knife?”
Obviously he has one, but maybe he calls it by a more delicate name. A fecal cleaver? A Dung divider? A guano glaive? I explain what it is I want and why I want it. |
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