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Urinal Etiquette
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It’s something that we chaps are not taught yet seem to instinctively know almost as though via some esoteric, ancestral memory. Rules include: The observation of silence whilst next to neighbouring pissers (unless you are friends with them); being mindful to not stand too close to fellow urinal users if at all possible as it invariably makes them feel uncomfortable; keeping ones eyes forward at all times (alteritively head held back starring at the ceiling is acceptable) and the golden rule: on no occasion should one look down at adjacent pissers penises etc. List more.....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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thou shalt wipe seat if you accidentally drip on seat (From a narked woman  )
I know it's not a urinal but when its just a toilet, have a bit of consideration guys! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thou shalt put down the seat after having partaketh of a piss or though shalt get it in the neck and possibly be on stoppage of rumpy pumpy by her with the unintentially wet botty.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Or you come in acting camper than a big row of pink tents, eye all the guys up and down provocatively before loudly declaring, I'll just squeeze in between you two big boys and shuffle in.....just for a laugh  |
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Technically, most lads are taught urinal etiquette through social norms or as is often the case by their dads... It's all part of growing up.
At the same time this entire etiquette goes out the window when out with the lads from rugby and such... so I don't really know aha |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"Or you come in acting camper than a big row of pink tents, eye all the guys up and down provocatively before loudly declaring, I'll just squeeze in between you two big boys and shuffle in.....just for a laugh "
That could go bad uf you pick tbe wrong establishment lol
On a side note I once did target pissing on somebodies chunder in a trough type urinal . It's amazing what you find hilarious when d*unk! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thou shalt put down the seat after having partaketh of a piss or though shalt get it in the neck and possibly be on stoppage of rumpy pumpy by her with the unintentially wet botty.."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is considered to be in highly poor taste to consume the pinapple like rings and/or cubes found in some urinals. (They taste awful anyway) "
As a kid i always wanted to try them. Dried my mouth out like the cinnammon challenge haha |
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Be extra mindful at trough urinals to stem ones flow and to aim low; a power piss at chest height might prove an amusing display of masculinity to oneself, but the resulting excessive splash-back is unlikely to best please ones neighbouring users.... |
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A few months back I made the mistake of looking down and the chap next to me and I’ve scarred myself for life.
He had so much, I mean so much Bell cheese around his penis I almost heaved!!’
Do some people not wash their dicks!!! |
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Urinals are so named as they have been specifically designed as receptacles for urine.....not faeces....would therefore whoever shat in the kidney urinal at Banbury train station a few weeks ago please remember this for future reference. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thou shalt put down the seat after having partaketh of a piss or though shalt get it in the neck and possibly be on stoppage of rumpy pumpy by her with the unintentially wet botty.."
Hmmmm hoping Ads sees this, I forgot to tell him he left the sit up yesterday and I swear to god I thought I was a human sucker when I sat down, I positive my arse wasn’t going to budge out the bowl!
Geeky x |
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"Thou shalt put down the seat after having partaketh of a piss or though shalt get it in the neck and possibly be on stoppage of rumpy pumpy by her with the unintentially wet botty.."
Leaving the seat up isn’t an issue, it’s men not lifting it up before having a wee that I can’t abide  |
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"Thou shalt put down the seat after having partaketh of a piss or though shalt get it in the neck and possibly be on stoppage of rumpy pumpy by her with the unintentially wet botty..
Hmmmm hoping Ads sees this, I forgot to tell him he left the sit up yesterday and I swear to god I thought I was a human sucker when I sat down, I positive my arse wasn’t going to budge out the bowl!
Geeky x"
Oh that doesn’t sound like a pleasant experience  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"More than 6 shakes and you’re playing with it
Someone above said three which technically makes you a wa.......
My bad  "
 clearly in Liverpool we were allowed a bit more leeway before calling each other wankers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I once knew a lady who had a thing for holding my (and a few others) dicks while pissing. That could get messy.
What sort of filthy mare likes that  "
Welsh ones if my memory is correct |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thou shalt put down the seat after having partaketh of a piss or though shalt get it in the neck and possibly be on stoppage of rumpy pumpy by her with the unintentially wet botty..
Hmmmm hoping Ads sees this, I forgot to tell him he left the sit up yesterday and I swear to god I thought I was a human sucker when I sat down, I positive my arse wasn’t going to budge out the bowl!
Geeky x"
Let us not forget we aren’t the only users of said toilet and I always... ALWAYS put the seat down even put the lid down.
Ads |
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"Thou shalt put down the seat after having partaketh of a piss or though shalt get it in the neck and possibly be on stoppage of rumpy pumpy by her with the unintentially wet botty..
Hmmmm hoping Ads sees this, I forgot to tell him he left the sit up yesterday and I swear to god I thought I was a human sucker when I sat down, I positive my arse wasn’t going to budge out the bowl!
Geeky x
Let us not forget we aren’t the only users of said toilet and I always... ALWAYS put the seat down even put the lid down.
Ads"
Are you in the dog house for something  |
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"What are the rules in ladies toilets?"
From what I’ve heard, mostly exactly the opposite to ours; chatting is entirely acceptable for instance. Oh, and queuing for about twenty minutes is considered normal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thou shalt put down the seat after having partaketh of a piss or though shalt get it in the neck and possibly be on stoppage of rumpy pumpy by her with the unintentially wet botty..
Hmmmm hoping Ads sees this, I forgot to tell him he left the sit up yesterday and I swear to god I thought I was a human sucker when I sat down, I positive my arse wasn’t going to budge out the bowl!
Geeky x
Let us not forget we aren’t the only users of said toilet and I always... ALWAYS put the seat down even put the lid down.
Ads
Are you in the dog house for something "
Apparently I left the toilet seat up But in a house share it could have been any one of the 3 other blokes who live here or the other girls boyfriend for all I know I just know I would never cause Geeky’s bottom to get vacuum sealed into the toilet 
Ads |
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"Thou shalt put down the seat after having partaketh of a piss or though shalt get it in the neck and possibly be on stoppage of rumpy pumpy by her with the unintentially wet botty.."
It's a lot easier to find a woman clever enough to work a toilet seat. We have a deal, I don't whine about her leaving it down and she doesn't whine about it left up. |
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"Thou shalt put down the seat after having partaketh of a piss or though shalt get it in the neck and possibly be on stoppage of rumpy pumpy by her with the unintentially wet botty..
It's a lot easier to find a woman clever enough to work a toilet seat. We have a deal, I don't whine about her leaving it down and she doesn't whine about it left up. "
Traitor  |
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Another rule: It’s quicker and indeed, easier to merely undo ones flies before pulling out the old chap; pulling down ones trousers and pants amongst a line of men will only serve to provoke consternation and confusion within the assembled ranks. |
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