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By *__K OP Man
over a year ago
Aberdeen |
I'm kind of in a rough place right now. Fiancee left me 4 weeks ago, she left the site, I had to move out, I've lost my job... I find myself really miserable and all i have to relieve that is drink, since she took our rabbits.
I'm sick and tired of being told to cheer up, that it'll be all alright eventually, that there are plenty more fish in the sea. I just want to know how long i'm going to feel like i have had my heart ripped out and repeatedly stamped on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Please be aware that alcohol is a mood enhancer and will ultimately make you feel worse. Time is a great healer but go and talk with friends and family who can be supportive to you at this time. Good luck |
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Noone can put a time limit on it, we all get over things differently.
Get yourself a hobby where you can meet people, try not to dwell on the past. You will get over it. Everyone goes through shit but we all get there. Good luck |
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Do something new - anything that gets you out the house.
When I first got seperated it coincided with moving house, so that kept my mind going, well the garden mainly. Though like you the answer to sleep seemed to be at the bottom of a bottle at first.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Get yourself a wee rescue dog. They give unconditional love, gets you out and about in the fresh air and exercising, people talk to other dog walkers AND dogs are more fun than rabbits.  |
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i dont know if this will help. but i used to go for a drive and find somewhere like a cliff near the sea or a tor on the moors and just scream and rant , yell and stamp.... till i either started laughing at myself or broke down and cried, then,, i tried finding just one single good thing in my day.. such as, the sun is shining, or hey i can go and eat a double garlic bread with garlic mushrooms and NO ONE can complain about my breath,,, lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't take this the wrong way, but is this where you should be? You appear to have made your profile the moment your partner left.
If you feel so bereft are you really up to meeting, talking dirty while you still feel raw?
Most of us here have at some point lost a partner. I know we're all different but it felt like a bereavement to me...I couldn't have coped with this, I left and was 43.
Take time to come to terms with it and good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Alcohol is a known depressant, so you need to abstain rather than indulge at present, plus it won't help your finances if you have lost your job.
(Really, do not punch a wall, you will just hurt your hand.)
And getting a dog requires a lot more thought than just because you are lonely.What about when you get a job and are gone for 8 hours every day? Who will be lonely then?
You need to focus on the day to day stuff, keeping it routine- getting up at a decent time- maybe for some physical exercise because that is known to lift your mood.
Followed by lunch and then working on job hunting in the afternoon, cook and eat well.
As for your long term- try and live in the moment, its easier, and try to remember that it is as unnatural to feel happy all the time as it is to feel sad all the time.
Good luck xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Alcohol is a known depressant, so you need to abstain rather than indulge at present, plus it won't help your finances if you have lost your job.
(Really, do not punch a wall, you will just hurt your hand.)
And getting a dog requires a lot more thought than just because you are lonely.What about when you get a job and are gone for 8 hours every day? Who will be lonely then?
You need to focus on the day to day stuff, keeping it routine- getting up at a decent time- maybe for some physical exercise because that is known to lift your mood.
Followed by lunch and then working on job hunting in the afternoon, cook and eat well.
As for your long term- try and live in the moment, its easier, and try to remember that it is as unnatural to feel happy all the time as it is to feel sad all the time.
Good luck xx"
Wise post..
Pain is part of life OP...we`ve nearly all experienced the weight of it..
It will pass..running away into self pity rarely works..tho understandable..
Show some character...square yer shoulders..crash on..one foot in front of the other..with constructive actions....walks...friends etc..
The best of luck...and hope yer find your peace.. |
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By *edhotminxWoman
over a year ago
Turn left at the Singing Ringing Tree |
If there is one piece of advice I would give anyone in this situation it would be "No one is in charge of your own happiness except you".
You take one day at a time, get up, put your best foot forward and the next day it might be that little bit easier. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They do say love is blind. Its hard to just stop loving someone though, even when they have been mean to you. Maybe if you meet people off this site it will take your mind off things, and soon maybe you will meet someone who you like even more than your ex girl friend. You dont realy need to have a partner to be happy though, i know a few people who are happier than people who are in relationships. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I count my blessings to be alive and in relative good health whenever I am low, as there are many people who are far worse off than I am.
Like those who have died in wars and other unfortunate circumstances.
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
"Alcohol is a known depressant, so you need to abstain rather than indulge at present, plus it won't help your finances if you have lost your job.
(Really, do not punch a wall, you will just hurt your hand.)
And getting a dog requires a lot more thought than just because you are lonely.What about when you get a job and are gone for 8 hours every day? Who will be lonely then?
You need to focus on the day to day stuff, keeping it routine- getting up at a decent time- maybe for some physical exercise because that is known to lift your mood.
Followed by lunch and then working on job hunting in the afternoon, cook and eat well.
As for your long term- try and live in the moment, its easier, and try to remember that it is as unnatural to feel happy all the time as it is to feel sad all the time.
Good luck xx
Wise post..
Pain is part of life OP...we`ve nearly all experienced the weight of it..
It will pass..running away into self pity rarely works..tho understandable..
Show some character...square yer shoulders..crash on..one foot in front of the other..with constructive actions....walks...friends etc..
The best of luck...and hope yer find your peace.."
I second this too! I've been there over the years, felt ruddy awful and considered so many times, "Why Me??".
Yes, these are rough times for you, but I'm sorry if it all sounds like an old cliche, the only person who can make a go of this is yourself.
Because no matter how many others want to help, they cannot build up your shift in atttiude and success without you doing something for yourself first.
What I did was to see my GP, where I asked for counselling; don't be afraid to ask for it, and don't think you can handle it all by yourself! It was the best thing I ever did, and it got me back on track.
I wish you the best. Good Luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Time is the best healer, nothing anyone will say will make you feel better though xx"
+1
Only you can tell when the time is right to move on, it will happen, just got to be tough and ride it out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is to maybe offer some comfort, its not a "you think thats bad i had worse", its my circs and i know full well theres worse that happen to folks, daily!!!
I lost my girlfriend, job, house,house came with the job, so i had nowhere to live too.
Things come along in life to just test you as a person out, really believe that.
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When I'm going through a tough time (and I've had more than my share) I refer to the serenity prayer ...
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
I'm in no way religious but I like the sentiment - it makes sense to me.
E x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Relationships either last or fall apart for a reason. You'll never know which woman is the 'one' until the day you draw you last breath and she's still there. Those that leave were never meant to stay so take heart, chalk it down to experience and move on. There's little else you can do.
Drowning yourself in alcohol will only dull the pain for a while, and then, before you know it, your past will be forgotten, sure, but you'll have a new Mistress, and she doesn't take prisoners. She'll have little sympathy for your pain, she'll take your friends, your health and your self respect away from you and then when you can sink no lower she'll kill you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been here more than once dude, time does heal but there is no set limit and I echo what others have said, plenty of good advice here, but nobody can do any of this for you,you might feel alone and like you cant face another day but all the empathy and sympathy in the world wont change the pain, deal with each day, and don't let bitterness or the drink consume you.
Grieve,vent,contemplate and learn as you need to but look forward not back,it might not look as rosey as it did, but they call them rose tinted glasses for a reason,and surround yourself with people who care and don't judge you for your raw emotions right now.
"Hold no man responsible for what he says in his grief" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm kind of in a rough place right now. Fiancee left me 4 weeks ago, she left the site, I had to move out, I've lost my job... I find myself really miserable and all i have to relieve that is drink, since she took our rabbits.
I'm sick and tired of being told to cheer up, that it'll be all alright eventually, that there are plenty more fish in the sea. I just want to know how long i'm going to feel like i have had my heart ripped out and repeatedly stamped on."
Its not good man if she has done that to u i would be well mad and sad too its bad karma 4 her and thats not good but you will get over her 4 sure |
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