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Best prediction of someone's future behaviour...
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"
Also....Shhh I'm not suspossed to be here  I'm finishing off the xmas Baileys and mumsnet is boring me  "
What no anal at Butlins or the infamous glass of water for post-coital penis ablutions threads?
We never saw you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is their past behaviour.. agree or disagree 
"
I agree it is a strong indicator, but I also believe people learn and can change. I’d try not to predict but dialogue with the person if I want to get to know or understand them better. Or perhaps even to express my fears and help them to make active choices for how they proceed. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Also....Shhh I'm not suspossed to be here I'm finishing off the xmas Baileys and mumsnet is boring me
What no anal at Butlins or the infamous glass of water for post-coital penis ablutions threads?
We never saw you "
No but loads of LTB (LEAVE THE BASTARD) threads |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"Is their past behaviour.. agree or disagree
"
Yes and no depends on the people involved.
I'll hold my hands up I cheated on my ex husband for many reasons.
I wouldn't cheat now I have no reason to do so. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is their past behaviour.. agree or disagree
I agree it is a strong indicator, but I also believe people learn and can change. I’d try not to predict but dialogue with the person if I want to get to know or understand them better. Or perhaps even to express my fears and help them to make active choices for how they proceed. "
This is lovely and exactly what I'm trying! And the person in question is being very good and talking through the hard questions with me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is their past behaviour.. agree or disagree
Yes and no depends on the people involved.
I'll hold my hands up I cheated on my ex husband for many reasons.
I wouldn't cheat now I have no reason to do so. "
That's it too isn't it! People react different in different circumstance xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is their past behaviour.. agree or disagree
I agree it is a strong indicator, but I also believe people learn and can change. I’d try not to predict but dialogue with the person if I want to get to know or understand them better. Or perhaps even to express my fears and help them to make active choices for how they proceed.
This is lovely and exactly what I'm trying! And the person in question is being very good and talking through the hard questions with me. "
A dynamic you have with someone is never ever going to be the same as they or you have had with someone else - there’s different people involved, it’s not comparable so it’s always in new creation not replay of the old alone. Keep taking daily leaps of faith and trust your gut. People aren’t perfect, so allow them to learn you and you them and learn to learn yourself too. You’ll know what to do and when to do it. Good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is their past behaviour.. agree or disagree
I agree it is a strong indicator, but I also believe people learn and can change. I’d try not to predict but dialogue with the person if I want to get to know or understand them better. Or perhaps even to express my fears and help them to make active choices for how they proceed.
This is lovely and exactly what I'm trying! And the person in question is being very good and talking through the hard questions with me.
A dynamic you have with someone is never ever going to be the same as they or you have had with someone else - there’s different people involved, it’s not comparable so it’s always in new creation not replay of the old alone. Keep taking daily leaps of faith and trust your gut. People aren’t perfect, so allow them to learn you and you them and learn to learn yourself too. You’ll know what to do and when to do it. Good luck x"
This reply is just perfect! And gave me the warm fuzzies xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If that's the case it doesn't seem to allow for the potential for people to learn grow and change their view of themselves or others OP.
It's too static to reflect no two situations are the same and no two people have the same dynamic if they then interact with others.
Perhaps we just need to accept that all are different and change in different ways in different situations and maybe there is even redemption that allows us all to change. Because like groundhog day we mostly don't just keep repeating the same actions. Eventaually we change what we do and discover different outcomes. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If that's the case it doesn't seem to allow for the potential for people to learn grow and change their view of themselves or others OP.
It's too static to reflect no two situations are the same and no two people have the same dynamic if they then interact with others.
Perhaps we just need to accept that all are different and change in different ways in different situations and maybe there is even redemption that allows us all to change. Because like groundhog day we mostly don't just keep repeating the same actions. Eventaually we change what we do and discover different outcomes."
I like this. I do agree that people have different dynamics with different people. This is going to remain in my head  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"If that's the case it doesn't seem to allow for the potential for people to learn grow and change their view of themselves or others OP.
It's too static to reflect no two situations are the same and no two people have the same dynamic if they then interact with others.
Perhaps we just need to accept that all are different and change in different ways in different situations and maybe there is even redemption that allows us all to change. Because like groundhog day we mostly don't just keep repeating the same actions. Eventaually we change what we do and discover different outcomes."
Mostly. Yet, there are some people who use the same playbook for all new sexual encounters. Follow the same patterns and experience the same outcomes. We can be creatures of habit.
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
Ooooo this is interesting. I have different mikes, mike that is a football fan, dishing out verbal abuse to rival players and fans (seen on sky), mike that is at work, who works hard engages with otherd tries to do the right thing, filthy / slutty mike who well  .
I look at mike 10 years ago and I am more relaxed chilled and take a pragmatic view of things |
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"Is their past behaviour.. agree or disagree
"
Both!
Some people can change, some can't!
Things can happen in life that change you & your attitude.
I'm definitely not the same person I was 3yrs ago, totaly unrecognisable physically & mentally.
I'd even say my ex is a nice person now - something I never thought I'd say lol
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"I agree. You can only judge on their past behaviour ... the rest is wait and see. I don’t believe people ever really change that much. "
I think they can due to things that have happened to them in the past it’s all about the individual though |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"I agree. You can only judge on their past behaviour ... the rest is wait and see. I don’t believe people ever really change that much.
I think they can due to things that have happened to them in the past it’s all about the individual though "
We are all the way we are because of our past experiences |
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There's two unknowns here - knowing what other people are thinking is impossible. Really, you just can't know all the time.
The other unknown is what will happen in the future. You don't know how you will be in the future (as you can tell by all the people who say they are very different from their old selves).
Add these together and the chances of knowing what someone else will be like in the future can't be predicted.
It's like trying to predict the weather by saying it was sunny yesterday so it'll be sunny today. Yes, perhaps it will but it that was always the case it would be sunny all the time and it isn't. |
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