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Sooo then...
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
I've just recently broke up with someone,this time for good I think. Last lot of flowers not even dead yet,anyways I claimed a comfy t-shirt of his as my own which still has his scent on it.
Question is should I ask him if he wants it back,would you want it back?!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My ex of 18 months still has one of my tops. I didn't realise until she sent me a picture of her wearing it.
I'd suggest just keeping quiet, doubt he'll miss it |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"Burn it"
Well I would if he'd finished with me,but it was more my decision this time. It wasn't for a bad reason either,so I'd feel bad burning it.
What if he messaged asking for it back as well,I feel bad enough finishing it without burning his top as well |
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"Burn it
Well I would if he'd finished with me,but it was more my decision this time. It wasn't for a bad reason either,so I'd feel bad burning it.
What if he messaged asking for it back as well,I feel bad enough finishing it without burning his top as well "
In that case keep it safe. |
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"Burn it
Well I would if he'd finished with me,but it was more my decision this time. It wasn't for a bad reason either,so I'd feel bad burning it.
What if he messaged asking for it back as well,I feel bad enough finishing it without burning his top as well "
Ah. I wouldn't want it. Stick it in the post |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've just recently broke up with someone,this time for good I think. Last lot of flowers not even dead yet,anyways I claimed a comfy t-shirt of his as my own which still has his scent on it.
Question is should I ask him if he wants it back,would you want it back?! "
its over, stop using the t shirt as reminders as will make you feel shit.
wash it send it back and move on |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"Burn it
Well I would if he'd finished with me,but it was more my decision this time. It wasn't for a bad reason either,so I'd feel bad burning it.
What if he messaged asking for it back as well,I feel bad enough finishing it without burning his top as well
Ah. I wouldn't want it. Stick it in the post "
He's only 5 mins up the road. I did think about sticking it through the letter box,but his daughter has a couple of little dog's and they'd shed it to bit's. |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"Drop it at a charity shop. You have no need for it if it's going to remind you of him. And if getting it back to him isn't an option...."
but I don't mind the reminder. We were just too different,he's a bit of a giddy bugger at times,which just irritated me being perimenopausal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Sounds like it was a fairly amicable split.
Keep it, stick it in the back of a drawer and leave it there.
When you find it in 5 or 10 years time you can pull it out, smile to yourself and remember the good times you shared with him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No. If you've broken up and he wants it so badly he'll get in touch. Don't use it as a way of staying in contact."
This. Sometimes you just have to leave things be. |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"Sounds like it was a fairly amicable split.
Keep it, stick it in the back of a drawer and leave it there.
When you find it in 5 or 10 years time you can pull it out, smile to yourself and remember the good times you shared with him."
With my other collection of t-shirt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sounds like it was a fairly amicable split.
Keep it, stick it in the back of a drawer and leave it there.
When you find it in 5 or 10 years time you can pull it out, smile to yourself and remember the good times you shared with him.
With my other collection of t-shirt."
Sounds like my collection of thongs  |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"Sounds like it was a fairly amicable split.
Keep it, stick it in the back of a drawer and leave it there.
When you find it in 5 or 10 years time you can pull it out, smile to yourself and remember the good times you shared with him.
With my other collection of t-shirt."
*tshirts |
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"Or, you could drop him a text and ask him. Xx
Now that sound's like a good thing,so long as he doesn't think I've changed my mind when he sees my text!"
Ok...
Hi XXXXXXX
I was just sorting out some washing and I found one of your tops. What would you like me to do with it, I could pop it through your letterbox if you like? Despite what's happened between us, I still respect you and your property, so didn't want to just throw it away as that's just plain rude. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is it comfy to wear or comforting? Because if it’s comforting then I’d take a little more time making sure it’s the right decision. The fact you made a point of saying it has his scent on suggests it may be more a case of comforting. In which case make sure you’re in a rational mindset. |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"Sounds like it was a fairly amicable split.
Keep it, stick it in the back of a drawer and leave it there.
When you find it in 5 or 10 years time you can pull it out, smile to yourself and remember the good times you shared with him.
With my other collection of t-shirt.
Sounds like my collection of thongs "
He did say as I was nicking his tshirt he was going to have a pair of my thongs,until I pointed out I was actually going to wear his tshirt! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've just recently broke up with someone,this time for good I think. Last lot of flowers not even dead yet,anyways I claimed a comfy t-shirt of his as my own which still has his scent on it.
Question is should I ask him if he wants it back,would you want it back?! "
Probably should, no matter how much of a shit he was. |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"I've just recently broke up with someone,this time for good I think. Last lot of flowers not even dead yet,anyways I claimed a comfy t-shirt of his as my own which still has his scent on it.
Question is should I ask him if he wants it back,would you want it back?!
Probably should, no matter how much of a shit he was. "
He wasn't a shit,far from it in fact |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"Or, you could drop him a text and ask him. Xx
Now that sound's like a good thing,so long as he doesn't think I've changed my mind when he sees my text!
Ok...
Hi XXXXXXX
I was just sorting out some washing and I found one of your tops. What would you like me to do with it, I could pop it through your letterbox if you like? Despite what's happened between us, I still respect you and your property, so didn't want to just throw it away as that's just plain rude."
I may copy and paste that thankyou! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it comfy to wear or comforting? Because if it’s comforting then I’d take a little more time making sure it’s the right decision. The fact you made a point of saying it has his scent on suggests it may be more a case of comforting. In which case make sure you’re in a rational mindset."
 aww yes this. Keep it a bit longer xx |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"Is it comfy to wear or comforting? Because if it’s comforting then I’d take a little more time making sure it’s the right decision. The fact you made a point of saying it has his scent on suggests it may be more a case of comforting. In which case make sure you’re in a rational mindset."
Both really,it was nice having a strong tall man in my corner for once. Sharing my life with someone,holding hand's and feeling protected.
Back to my lonesome... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it comfy to wear or comforting? Because if it’s comforting then I’d take a little more time making sure it’s the right decision. The fact you made a point of saying it has his scent on suggests it may be more a case of comforting. In which case make sure you’re in a rational mindset.
Both really,it was nice having a strong tall man in my corner for once. Sharing my life with someone,holding hand's and feeling protected.
Back to my lonesome..."
All I can advise is for you to just to go some place to truly unwind and reflect, then make a decision.
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
Awwww sorry to hear it didn't work out.
Put it in a carrier bag and leave it outside his door. If you text him to ask if he wants it back that's just opening the doors again so to speak, isn't it? X |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"Awwww sorry to hear it didn't work out.
Put it in a carrier bag and leave it outside his door. If you text him to ask if he wants it back that's just opening the doors again so to speak, isn't it? X"
Thankyou. Yeah that's what I thought,do you think he'd be a bit miffed if I did that though,not the leaving it on the doorstep,but the fact I gave it back? |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"Awwww sorry to hear it didn't work out.
Put it in a carrier bag and leave it outside his door. If you text him to ask if he wants it back that's just opening the doors again so to speak, isn't it? X
Thankyou. Yeah that's what I thought,do you think he'd be a bit miffed if I did that though,not the leaving it on the doorstep,but the fact I gave it back? "
Nahhhh. Do you think he would want you to keep it?
Ps I'm no good at this stuff!!! |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"Awwww sorry to hear it didn't work out.
Put it in a carrier bag and leave it outside his door. If you text him to ask if he wants it back that's just opening the doors again so to speak, isn't it? X
Thankyou. Yeah that's what I thought,do you think he'd be a bit miffed if I did that though,not the leaving it on the doorstep,but the fact I gave it back?
Nahhhh. Do you think he would want you to keep it?
Ps I'm no good at this stuff!!!"
I don’t know,I'm no good either . I keep changing my mind,but I'm sticking it in a drawer,problem solved I think! |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"Awwww sorry to hear it didn't work out.
Put it in a carrier bag and leave it outside his door. If you text him to ask if he wants it back that's just opening the doors again so to speak, isn't it? X
Thankyou. Yeah that's what I thought,do you think he'd be a bit miffed if I did that though,not the leaving it on the doorstep,but the fact I gave it back?
Nahhhh. Do you think he would want you to keep it?
Ps I'm no good at this stuff!!!
I don’t know,I'm no good either . I keep changing my mind,but I'm sticking it in a drawer,problem solved I think!"
A drawer you don't have to go in very often I hope!!! |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"How long into the courting process did you realise you didn't want things to progress with him?
Did he think his feelings towards you were reciprocated?"
I've only known him since August and just this weekend really. Well it's not really that I didn't want things to progress with him as such,it's just we're so different. If he wasn't so giddy I would still be with him.
His feelings were certainly stronger than mine,mine were developing slower and it did frustrate him,that's one of the reasons he finished with me before,he didn't think I'd ever feel the same as him. I'm not someone who talks about my feelings to be honest and it's frustrated a few guy's in the past. |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"Awwww sorry to hear it didn't work out.
Put it in a carrier bag and leave it outside his door. If you text him to ask if he wants it back that's just opening the doors again so to speak, isn't it? X
Thankyou. Yeah that's what I thought,do you think he'd be a bit miffed if I did that though,not the leaving it on the doorstep,but the fact I gave it back?
Nahhhh. Do you think he would want you to keep it?
Ps I'm no good at this stuff!!!
I don’t know,I'm no good either . I keep changing my mind,but I'm sticking it in a drawer,problem solved I think!
A drawer you don't have to go in very often I hope!!!"
My summer wear stuff,I rarely go in there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How long into the courting process did you realise you didn't want things to progress with him?
Did he think his feelings towards you were reciprocated?
I've only known him since August and just this weekend really. Well it's not really that I didn't want things to progress with him as such,it's just we're so different. If he wasn't so giddy I would still be with him.
His feelings were certainly stronger than mine,mine were developing slower and it did frustrate him,that's one of the reasons he finished with me before,he didn't think I'd ever feel the same as him. I'm not someone who talks about my feelings to be honest and it's frustrated a few guy's in the past. "
Therein lies both the problem and the solution..
Follow your  .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How long into the courting process did you realise you didn't want things to progress with him?
Did he think his feelings towards you were reciprocated?
I've only known him since August and just this weekend really. Well it's not really that I didn't want things to progress with him as such,it's just we're so different. If he wasn't so giddy I would still be with him.
His feelings were certainly stronger than mine,mine were developing slower and it did frustrate him,that's one of the reasons he finished with me before,he didn't think I'd ever feel the same as him. I'm not someone who talks about my feelings to be honest and it's frustrated a few guy's in the past. "
Giddy in what way, like a personality trait, couldn't you tell him to reign it in a bit?
Just sounds like you still like him that's all. Your feelings are exactly that though, they're your feelings, you can't hurry them, can't make yourself have them if they're not there.
Maybe this time apart witll make you feel differently. |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"How long into the courting process did you realise you didn't want things to progress with him?
Did he think his feelings towards you were reciprocated?
I've only known him since August and just this weekend really. Well it's not really that I didn't want things to progress with him as such,it's just we're so different. If he wasn't so giddy I would still be with him.
His feelings were certainly stronger than mine,mine were developing slower and it did frustrate him,that's one of the reasons he finished with me before,he didn't think I'd ever feel the same as him. I'm not someone who talks about my feelings to be honest and it's frustrated a few guy's in the past.
Giddy in what way, like a personality trait, couldn't you tell him to reign it in a bit?
Just sounds like you still like him that's all. Your feelings are exactly that though, they're your feelings, you can't hurry them, can't make yourself have them if they're not there.
Maybe this time apart witll make you feel differently. "
Imagine a kid after eating too many sweets he's just incredibly giddy and goons around,it's worse when he's around my daughter who's 15 she thinks he's great,but then she has a giddy personality as well. In her I find it funny,in him I don't! He's not really like that when it's just the two of us.
I can't really tell him to reign it in as it's him ,me approaching the 'M' isn't great as small things just annoy me. I don’t think it would take much for us to fall out either,I think we're both quite touchy especially me at the minute.
Finding the perfect one for me is virtually impossible... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How long into the courting process did you realise you didn't want things to progress with him?
Did he think his feelings towards you were reciprocated?
I've only known him since August and just this weekend really. Well it's not really that I didn't want things to progress with him as such,it's just we're so different. If he wasn't so giddy I would still be with him.
His feelings were certainly stronger than mine,mine were developing slower and it did frustrate him,that's one of the reasons he finished with me before,he didn't think I'd ever feel the same as him. I'm not someone who talks about my feelings to be honest and it's frustrated a few guy's in the past.
Giddy in what way, like a personality trait, couldn't you tell him to reign it in a bit?
Just sounds like you still like him that's all. Your feelings are exactly that though, they're your feelings, you can't hurry them, can't make yourself have them if they're not there.
Maybe this time apart witll make you feel differently.
Imagine a kid after eating too many sweets he's just incredibly giddy and goons around,it's worse when he's around my daughter who's 15 she thinks he's great,but then she has a giddy personality as well. In her I find it funny,in him I don't! He's not really like that when it's just the two of us.
I can't really tell him to reign it in as it's him ,me approaching the 'M' isn't great as small things just annoy me. I don’t think it would take much for us to fall out either,I think we're both quite touchy especially me at the minute.
Finding the perfect one for me is virtually impossible..."
Oh I know dem feels!
My mother has a completely different personality to me and we don't get on the best. She's quite laxy daisy where I'm quite blunt and to the point.
Shame, it's nice to have someone to love you but if they do your head in you've got to let them go I suppose.
Hope your find your perfect guy soon, as do I.
I feel a letter to the universe is well overdue for me. |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
As an aside:
I think that people have been so sold on the "Hollywood" version of relationships, they seem to forget that reality differs.
I know people who are waiting for the "perfect" man/woman (delete as applicable), but the alluring thing about perfection is that it doesn't actually exist. |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"How long into the courting process did you realise you didn't want things to progress with him?
Did he think his feelings towards you were reciprocated?
I've only known him since August and just this weekend really. Well it's not really that I didn't want things to progress with him as such,it's just we're so different. If he wasn't so giddy I would still be with him.
His feelings were certainly stronger than mine,mine were developing slower and it did frustrate him,that's one of the reasons he finished with me before,he didn't think I'd ever feel the same as him. I'm not someone who talks about my feelings to be honest and it's frustrated a few guy's in the past.
Giddy in what way, like a personality trait, couldn't you tell him to reign it in a bit?
Just sounds like you still like him that's all. Your feelings are exactly that though, they're your feelings, you can't hurry them, can't make yourself have them if they're not there.
Maybe this time apart witll make you feel differently.
Imagine a kid after eating too many sweets he's just incredibly giddy and goons around,it's worse when he's around my daughter who's 15 she thinks he's great,but then she has a giddy personality as well. In her I find it funny,in him I don't! He's not really like that when it's just the two of us.
I can't really tell him to reign it in as it's him ,me approaching the 'M' isn't great as small things just annoy me. I don’t think it would take much for us to fall out either,I think we're both quite touchy especially me at the minute.
Finding the perfect one for me is virtually impossible...
Oh I know dem feels!
My mother has a completely different personality to me and we don't get on the best. She's quite laxy daisy where I'm quite blunt and to the point.
Shame, it's nice to have someone to love you but if they do your head in you've got to let them go I suppose.
Hope your find your perfect guy soon, as do I.
I feel a letter to the universe is well overdue for me. "
Thankyou,the bugger must be out there somewhere! Hope to you find yours too! |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"As an aside:
I think that people have been so sold on the "Hollywood" version of relationships, they seem to forget that reality differs.
I know people who are waiting for the "perfect" man/woman (delete as applicable), but the alluring thing about perfection is that it doesn't actually exist. "
What is perfection? I just want someone who compliments my personality,to fall in love with,to be passionate with.
I'm just finding it hard to find my other half,I haven't a clue what the Hollywood thing is you're going on about,but cheers for trying to ridicule me |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"As an aside:
I think that people have been so sold on the "Hollywood" version of relationships, they seem to forget that reality differs.
I know people who are waiting for the "perfect" man/woman (delete as applicable), but the alluring thing about perfection is that it doesn't actually exist.
What is perfection? I just want someone who compliments my personality,to fall in love with,to be passionate with.
I'm just finding it hard to find my other half,I haven't a clue what the Hollywood thing is you're going on about,but cheers for trying to ridicule me "
I wasn't - it was a general point.
Although you've confirmed my initial thoughts about most of the posts on this thread being very dramatic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How long into the courting process did you realise you didn't want things to progress with him?
Did he think his feelings towards you were reciprocated?
I've only known him since August and just this weekend really. Well it's not really that I didn't want things to progress with him as such,it's just we're so different. If he wasn't so giddy I would still be with him.
His feelings were certainly stronger than mine,mine were developing slower and it did frustrate him,that's one of the reasons he finished with me before,he didn't think I'd ever feel the same as him. I'm not someone who talks about my feelings to be honest and it's frustrated a few guy's in the past.
Giddy in what way, like a personality trait, couldn't you tell him to reign it in a bit?
Just sounds like you still like him that's all. Your feelings are exactly that though, they're your feelings, you can't hurry them, can't make yourself have them if they're not there.
Maybe this time apart witll make you feel differently.
Imagine a kid after eating too many sweets he's just incredibly giddy and goons around,it's worse when he's around my daughter who's 15 she thinks he's great,but then she has a giddy personality as well. In her I find it funny,in him I don't! He's not really like that when it's just the two of us.
I can't really tell him to reign it in as it's him ,me approaching the 'M' isn't great as small things just annoy me. I don’t think it would take much for us to fall out either,I think we're both quite touchy especially me at the minute.
Finding the perfect one for me is virtually impossible...
Oh I know dem feels!
My mother has a completely different personality to me and we don't get on the best. She's quite laxy daisy where I'm quite blunt and to the point.
Shame, it's nice to have someone to love you but if they do your head in you've got to let them go I suppose.
Hope your find your perfect guy soon, as do I.
I feel a letter to the universe is well overdue for me. "
What's a letter to the universe? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm over thinking this aren't I
Maybe a little. Is it an expensive top?
No I don't think so,I'm just going to stick it in my drawer. As has been said he knows where it is if he wants it."
Deep down are you hoping he'll chase you and try to win you back? Keeping the shirt means he has an 'excuse' to get back in touch. |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"As an aside:
I think that people have been so sold on the "Hollywood" version of relationships, they seem to forget that reality differs.
I know people who are waiting for the "perfect" man/woman (delete as applicable), but the alluring thing about perfection is that it doesn't actually exist.
What is perfection? I just want someone who compliments my personality,to fall in love with,to be passionate with.
I'm just finding it hard to find my other half,I haven't a clue what the Hollywood thing is you're going on about,but cheers for trying to ridicule me
I wasn't - it was a general point.
Although you've confirmed my initial thoughts about most of the posts on this thread being very dramatic. "
Well there you go... and I thought I had a cold heart! |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"I'm over thinking this aren't I
Maybe a little. Is it an expensive top?
No I don't think so,I'm just going to stick it in my drawer. As has been said he knows where it is if he wants it.
Deep down are you hoping he'll chase you and try to win you back? Keeping the shirt means he has an 'excuse' to get back in touch."
Yes and no,he shouldn't as we both know we're not suited. I just miss the good bit's,they're hard to walk away from. |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"Keep it and in a few weeks time you could dress your snowman in it !
It’s gonna be a white Christmas did you know ?? (Smileysnowman)
"
It would have to be a medium sized snowman,so no fat snowmen this year for us then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Stop. Messing. Him. Around.
If this was a guy talking about repeatedly picking up and dropping a woman because he liked "the good bits", but he couldn't commit because she was irritating, there would be hell to pay. Either give him his t-shirt back or don't, but stop stringing the poor bastard along. |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"Stop. Messing. Him. Around.
If this was a guy talking about repeatedly picking up and dropping a woman because he liked "the good bits", but he couldn't commit because she was irritating, there would be hell to pay. Either give him his t-shirt back or don't, but stop stringing the poor bastard along."
Oh my God I'm not messing him around,he finished with me a while ago then changed his mind! and he’s not a poor bastard what an awful thing to say. Was I a poor bastard when he finished with me?! |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"Stop. Messing. Him. Around.
If this was a guy talking about repeatedly picking up and dropping a woman because he liked "the good bits", but he couldn't commit because she was irritating, there would be hell to pay. Either give him his t-shirt back or don't, but stop stringing the poor bastard along.
Oh my God I'm not messing him around,he finished with me a while ago then changed his mind! and he’s not a poor bastard what an awful thing to say. Was I a poor bastard when he finished with me?! "
Good job I didn't notice your wink three month's ago eh if I'm such a bad person  |
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"I'm not someone who talks about my feelings to be honest and it's frustrated a few guy's in the past. "
I know it's often easier to share stuff with strangers but you're articulating your feelings extremely well here. |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"I'm not someone who talks about my feelings to be honest and it's frustrated a few guy's in the past.
I know it's often easier to share stuff with strangers but you're articulating your feelings extremely well here. "
Thankyou that's something I suppose,I'm rubbish at all that emotional stuff. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I feel a letter to the universe is well overdue for me.
What's a letter to the universe?"
It's to do with the law of attraction. A letter to the universe is supposed to manifest whatever you put in it to you.
You give thanks for the things you have and thank the universe for the things you want but write about it like you already have these things. Google it all for better understanding but the law of attraction is working all around us all the time anyway.
The universe will send you things depending on how you feel, like I normally feel bad about myself and like everyone I care about will leave or abandon me as I have severe abandonment issues due to childhood, grandparents splitting up who I was close to my mum always passing me round different family members cos she was still young when she had me and was always out partying, no father in my life, it all has impact on a child.
So that turns into the universe sending me all these guys that are beautiful and hung but will make me feel like they're never really quite there for me and they'll eventually leave my life in some way.
Need to really try and change my thoughts into feeling like I deserve someone, but it's hard to do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I feel a letter to the universe is well overdue for me.
What's a letter to the universe?
It's to do with the law of attraction. A letter to the universe is supposed to manifest whatever you put in it to you.
You give thanks for the things you have and thank the universe for the things you want but write about it like you already have these things. Google it all for better understanding but the law of attraction is working all around us all the time anyway.
The universe will send you things depending on how you feel, like I normally feel bad about myself and like everyone I care about will leave or abandon me as I have severe abandonment issues due to childhood, grandparents splitting up who I was close to my mum always passing me round different family members cos she was still young when she had me and was always out partying, no father in my life, it all has impact on a child.
So that turns into the universe sending me all these guys that are beautiful and hung but will make me feel like they're never really quite there for me and they'll eventually leave my life in some way.
Need to really try and change my thoughts into feeling like I deserve someone, but it's hard to do. "
Work on it.  I think positivity attracts the same. You're changing your daughter's future by being a good mum. That counts for a lot.
I read some quote last year about people wanting to go back in time to change their past - but they should also believe they can change their future.
Thanks for explaining, I'm saving the info in your posts for future reference. Hope you don't mind. If I ever bump into you at a social I owe you a 6pack of Yazoo! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good job I didn't notice your wink three month's ago eh if I'm such a bad person "
I didn't say you were a bad person. I just think breakups are difficult enough without the kind of flip-flopping and prevaricating you're describing. You say you don't have any bad feeling towards your ex, so keep the split clean and don't risk hurting him further over a t-shirt.
The wink has no real bearing on this topic, but I stand by it. I think you're attractive so I sent you a wink. Nothing more to it than that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Text him a 'do you want your T-shirt back, let me know by this date or it's being binned' message.
The ball is then in his court for a few days, if no contact from him you have your answer, bin & move on. |
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Are you sure this is simply about a t-shirt? Reading between the lines, despite some protestations, there appears to be a definite impression that you want him back. Is the heart wanting something and the head is disagreeing perhaps?
There is no such thing as a perfect match in our opinion. Compromise, communicate and go with your feelings. Whatever you decide to do, we wish you the best |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just reading this for the first time.
It must be a difficult situation for you.
It's refreshing to hear about someone who although they crave a loving relationship, is bold enough to end a relationship with someone as they don't think it will work out despite the good parts.
Most people now are usually selfish and out for what they can get but you have thought just as much about the other party and don't want to hurt him in the long run. I'm sure mr right isn't far away. Wish you luck x |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"Just reading this for the first time.
It must be a difficult situation for you.
It's refreshing to hear about someone who although they crave a loving relationship, is bold enough to end a relationship with someone as they don't think it will work out despite the good parts.
Most people now are usually selfish and out for what they can get but you have thought just as much about the other party and don't want to hurt him in the long run. I'm sure mr right isn't far away. Wish you luck x"
Thankyou that means a lot. He texted late last night and I'm so tempted to text back but that would be cruel. It's hard to just cut him off though  |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"Are you sure this is simply about a t-shirt? Reading between the lines, despite some protestations, there appears to be a definite impression that you want him back. Is the heart wanting something and the head is disagreeing perhaps?
There is no such thing as a perfect match in our opinion. Compromise, communicate and go with your feelings. Whatever you decide to do, we wish you the best "
Thankyou,I'm just flipping confused to be honest. My head tells me we're not a good match,he can be an excitable little puppy at time's and I can be a miserable bugger and need my own space. That can't work can it! |
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"Are you sure this is simply about a t-shirt? Reading between the lines, despite some protestations, there appears to be a definite impression that you want him back. Is the heart wanting something and the head is disagreeing perhaps?
There is no such thing as a perfect match in our opinion. Compromise, communicate and go with your feelings. Whatever you decide to do, we wish you the best
Thankyou,I'm just flipping confused to be honest. My head tells me we're not a good match,he can be an excitable little puppy at time's and I can be a miserable bugger and need my own space. That can't work can it!"
Opposites attract. It can work, if you want it to. It sounds like he has strengths where you don't and you have strengths where he doesn't. Complementary? Or incendiary? Only you can make that choice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just reading this for the first time.
It must be a difficult situation for you.
It's refreshing to hear about someone who although they crave a loving relationship, is bold enough to end a relationship with someone as they don't think it will work out despite the good parts.
Most people now are usually selfish and out for what they can get but you have thought just as much about the other party and don't want to hurt him in the long run. I'm sure mr right isn't far away. Wish you luck x
Thankyou that means a lot. He texted late last night and I'm so tempted to text back but that would be cruel. It's hard to just cut him off though "
Probably until you are sure and comfortable with what your doing and feel about him then contact isn't the best idea. It will just lead to you going round in circles. Feelings take time to work themselves out. He seems like a reasonable guy. I'm sure if it's meant to be it will. We all have times when we are grumpy and need our own space. That we need to be something that was understood by both of you if you decide to give the relationship another go. There is no rule book to say what a relationship should be. It's about working out what suits both people. Stay true to what you want and believe in though. That's the only way you will be truly happy in a relationship x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm just flipping confused to be honest. My head tells me we're not a good match,he can be an excitable little puppy at time's and I can be a miserable bugger and need my own space. That can't work can it!"
*excitable puppy here*
Yes it can work because opposites attract.
Simplicity and complexity need each other. |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"I'm just flipping confused to be honest. My head tells me we're not a good match,he can be an excitable little puppy at time's and I can be a miserable bugger and need my own space. That can't work can it!
*excitable puppy here*
Yes it can work because opposites attract.
Simplicity and complexity need each other."
So when I want time alone and he doesn't how does that work? He just sees that as a brush off,he wants to be there for me when I'm having issues with certain things,but when I'm like that I need to be by myself to chill. |
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"I'm just flipping confused to be honest. My head tells me we're not a good match,he can be an excitable little puppy at time's and I can be a miserable bugger and need my own space. That can't work can it!
*excitable puppy here*
Yes it can work because opposites attract.
Simplicity and complexity need each other.
So when I want time alone and he doesn't how does that work? He just sees that as a brush off,he wants to be there for me when I'm having issues with certain things,but when I'm like that I need to be by myself to chill."
He would only need to understand after you explained it to him - accept you need it, and agree to give you space.
Me, I love an excitable puppy, 'cos then I can get all frivolous and playful too!!   |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"I'm just flipping confused to be honest. My head tells me we're not a good match,he can be an excitable little puppy at time's and I can be a miserable bugger and need my own space. That can't work can it!
*excitable puppy here*
Yes it can work because opposites attract.
Simplicity and complexity need each other.
So when I want time alone and he doesn't how does that work? He just sees that as a brush off,he wants to be there for me when I'm having issues with certain things,but when I'm like that I need to be by myself to chill.
He would only need to understand after you explained it to him - accept you need it, and agree to give you space.
Me, I love an excitable puppy, 'cos then I can get all frivolous and playful too!! "
I have explained that too him,I think my playful side has died a death unless it's with the kid's. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm just flipping confused to be honest. My head tells me we're not a good match,he can be an excitable little puppy at time's and I can be a miserable bugger and need my own space. That can't work can it!
*excitable puppy here*
Yes it can work because opposites attract.
Simplicity and complexity need each other.
So when I want time alone and he doesn't how does that work? He just sees that as a brush off,he wants to be there for me when I'm having issues with certain things,but when I'm like that I need to be by myself to chill."
Even successful relationships are a compromise. Recognising when to apply it is the key. If one party can't do that then you will struggle. |
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"I'm just flipping confused to be honest. My head tells me we're not a good match,he can be an excitable little puppy at time's and I can be a miserable bugger and need my own space. That can't work can it!
*excitable puppy here*
Yes it can work because opposites attract.
Simplicity and complexity need each other.
So when I want time alone and he doesn't how does that work? He just sees that as a brush off,he wants to be there for me when I'm having issues with certain things,but when I'm like that I need to be by myself to chill.
He would only need to understand after you explained it to him - accept you need it, and agree to give you space.
Me, I love an excitable puppy, 'cos then I can get all frivolous and playful too!!
I have explained that too him,I think my playful side has died a death unless it's with the kid's."
Maybe he would be good for you in that regard then? But, if you're saying he feels rejected every time you just need to be a bit quiet then it may be your respective issues are incompatible lol! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if I broke up with someone a t shirt would be the last thing on my mind. So insignificant. Throw it in the bin or throw it in the back of the drawer and don't dwell on it x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The only way you'll know if you're really compatible, i think, is to stick it out for a bit and just enjoy each other.
But then if it's this much hard work and you're splitting up/getting back together/splitting up at this stage, when its supposed to be the exciting time then i dunno, has the relationship got legs? And how will it fair if something real tricky is thrown at it?
It's a dilemma for sure.
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"
Even successful relationships are a compromise. Recognising when to apply it is the key. If one party can't do that then you will struggle. "
Absolutely agree with this, it's essential to be able to compromise without one party having the whip hand over the other.
I've heard so many times single people say things like "they either take me as I am or don't take me at all"..who are still scratching their heads over their enduring singleton status many years later.
In a proper, loving relationship between equals compromise should be the first quality we look for in ourselves and each other. Amen! |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"The only way you'll know if you're really compatible, i think, is to stick it out for a bit and just enjoy each other.
But then if it's this much hard work and you're splitting up/getting back together/splitting up at this stage, when its supposed to be the exciting time then i dunno, has the relationship got legs? And how will it fair if something real tricky is thrown at it?
It's a dilemma for sure.
"
I agree,this is just daft we've only known each other a few month's it shouldn't be like this so early in.
My last relationship went on longer than it should have done,so I'm just really cautious about making the same mistakes. |
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By *gnitemybody OP Woman
over a year ago
Onestepoutofthedoor |
"I think if I broke up with someone a t shirt would be the last thing on my mind. So insignificant. Throw it in the bin or throw it in the back of the drawer and don't dwell on it x"
It is now I agree |
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