FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is just messaging cheating ?
Is just messaging cheating ?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If you're in a relationship. You're on here but you never physically meet or even chat on the phone. Your partner does not know you're here. You literally just message other people, but there's a sexual element to the messages. Is that still classed as a form cheating ?
I think it can be as you're cheating emotionally and not being honest with your other half. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So if your flirting with a work colleague and discuss sex, thats cheating too???  "
Yes interesting that one. See I'd say that wasn't. But it depends on how you discuss it doesn't it ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So if your flirting with a work colleague and discuss sex, thats cheating too??? "
Not exactly the same as specifically signing up to what is essentially a site for sex behind your partner's back is it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So if your flirting with a work colleague and discuss sex, thats cheating too??? "
Flirting with someone you met in a normal way isnt cheating its banter.
Joining a site based around sex and actively looking to engage in flirting is. You made the decision to do it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was single when I joined fab. I'm not single now but I'm still here for the forums and chat via message to a few men I met or spoke to previous. However my boyfriend knows I'm on here. I think that's where the issue is. It's ok if they know. I think having sexual chats with men as though you were doing things with them is a whole new ball game though and crosses the line.
For me cheating is anything you wouldn't do infront of your partner. |
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It's the disloyalty that's the problem. If you know your partner would have a problem with something and you go ahead and do it anyway, you are being disloyal to him, betraying his trust.
I put a huge value on loyalty. |
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By *olliPineCouple
over a year ago
swingers clubs |
"If you're in a relationship. You're on here but you never physically meet or even chat on the phone. Your partner does not know you're here. You literally just message other people, but there's a sexual element to the messages. Is that still classed as a form cheating ?
I think it can be as you're cheating emotionally and not being honest with your other half. "
It's called an emotional affair |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If my partner was having sex chat with another woman then I wouldn't be best pleased if I didn't know about it and if they had signed up for their own profile then I'd say it was not good.
Not sure its quite cheating but it would be pretty close x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're in a relationship. You're on here but you never physically meet or even chat on the phone. Your partner does not know you're here. You literally just message other people, but there's a sexual element to the messages. Is that still classed as a form cheating ?
I think it can be as you're cheating emotionally and not being honest with your other half. "
Yes it is and I ended a year long relationship with an ex because of this. I have no regrets and would do the same again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"course it's not cheating, if that was the case 95% of the site are cheaters"
Lying , deceiving, sneaking around behind partners back, chatting up and being sexual towards another person whilst in a relationship, IS CHEATING. In a way I hope when you love and adore someone, that person does this to you. In that instant, I'm very very sure you will think differently about what you just said.
Oh and myself and so many other fab users are genuinly single. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn’t class it has cheating. Being dishonest and disrespectful yes. Could it damage a relationship yes has I’m sure they would think you could end up cheating. |
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I guess anything you are doing with someone else texting , flirting etc is cheating if you feel the need to do it behind your partners back
If you are happy for them to see what you are writing and they have no issue then no probs but I suspect that’s not the case
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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
Yeah, if the other half doesn’t know then it is a betrayal of trust. But that’s your shit, and up to you to handle. Doesn’t bother me in the slightest - as long as my other half knows where I am, doing what and with whom, that’s all I’m fussed by. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anything that puts you in a position where sex is possible, is cheating."
Getting up in the morning counts in that case... sex is almost always a possibility, it's choosing not to act on that possibility that counts as fidelity.
But in answer to the OP no, it may not be cheating if you have no intention of meeting for sex, but if it's a guilty secret, then it's a problem even then. |
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"If you're in a relationship. You're on here but you never physically meet or even chat on the phone. Your partner does not know you're here. You literally just message other people, but there's a sexual element to the messages. Is that still classed as a form cheating ?
The fact that your partner is not aware that you are messaging and you are not going to tell them , then my answer would be.....Yes. Mrs A x
I think it can be as you're cheating emotionally and not being honest with your other half. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So if your flirting with a work colleague and discuss sex, thats cheating too???
Flirting with someone you met in a normal way isnt cheating its banter.
Joining a site based around sex and actively looking to engage in flirting is. You made the decision to do it. "
This. |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"If you're in a relationship. You're on here but you never physically meet or even chat on the phone. Your partner does not know you're here. You literally just message other people, but there's a sexual element to the messages. Is that still classed as a form cheating ?
I think it can be as you're cheating emotionally and not being honest with your other half. "
It's certainly deceitful.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you're in a relationship and not honest about how you want that relationship to be; yes
If you are in an open relationship and you are having filthy conversations, I don't see it as cheating. More a pretext to something that may happen. But you need to communicate with your partner when you think that something may be advancing from the keyboard to something more physical |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"course it's not cheating, if that was the case 95% of the site are cheaters so by that logic 95% of people on fab are on here without their partners being aware  ."
Sounds about right  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I concur, of course it is cheating if your other half does not know, my other half does, we have a open relationship and that’s how it should be if your on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It depends, if lying in bed with your wife texting someone you don't know, probably not. But if lying in someone else's bed texting your wife... could well be an indication there... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's the messaging and the sneaking and the emotional involvement that would piss me off more than if he just fucked some random bird he'd met on a night out.
Can just imagine my boyfriend messaging another woman saying stuff like oh I wish my girlfriend was more like you or I would love to fuck you or this that and the other.
Yeah that's shit and would hurt me, that's if I had a boyfriend in the first place.
Any boyfriend I had would be messaging other birds like oh I wish I could go to sleep with you and sleep right through the night without my Mrs sucking my dick every night, oh fuck my life.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is having dirty thoughts about another woman, without disclosing them to your partner cheating? Going by the consensus here it is, so all men are cheaters. Of course this will also count for all sexual persuasions so badically everyone cheats. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is having dirty thoughts about another woman, without disclosing them to your partner cheating? Going by the consensus here it is, so all men are cheaters. Of course this will also count for all sexual persuasions so badically everyone cheats."
We are talking messaging.
How would you view it if a partner had messaged someone else say about meeting at a hotel. Or how much they wanted to touch them... does that count as cheating?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel it's what I do, and yes I believe I'm cheating, and I'm certainly not proud of it.
I need to deal with the unconscious urges that push me to do something that I believe is not the way I would see the perfect me behaving. |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"Is having dirty thoughts about another woman, without disclosing them to your partner cheating? Going by the consensus here it is, so all men are cheaters. Of course this will also count for all sexual persuasions so badically everyone cheats.
We are talking messaging.
How would you view it if a partner had messaged someone else say about meeting at a hotel. Or how much they wanted to touch them... does that count as cheating?? "
Its a shitty thing to do if it's behind someone's back, but it's not cheating if it's just talk and they've no intention of acting on it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is having dirty thoughts about another woman, without disclosing them to your partner cheating? Going by the consensus here it is, so all men are cheaters. Of course this will also count for all sexual persuasions so badically everyone cheats.
We are talking messaging.
How would you view it if a partner had messaged someone else say about meeting at a hotel. Or how much they wanted to touch them... does that count as cheating??
Its a shitty thing to do if it's behind someone's back, but it's not cheating if it's just talk and they've no intention of acting on it. "
well I disagree. And to me it is.
What if the messages had also shown they had met and kissed .. So this was a 2nd meet up |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"Is having dirty thoughts about another woman, without disclosing them to your partner cheating? Going by the consensus here it is, so all men are cheaters. Of course this will also count for all sexual persuasions so badically everyone cheats.
We are talking messaging.
How would you view it if a partner had messaged someone else say about meeting at a hotel. Or how much they wanted to touch them... does that count as cheating??
Its a shitty thing to do if it's behind someone's back, but it's not cheating if it's just talk and they've no intention of acting on it. well I disagree. And to me it is.
What if the messages had also shown they had met and kissed .. So this was a 2nd meet up"
Well then they've acted on it so it is |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I must be weird as I count sexting as worse than a druken romp or heat of the moment "
I can understand this because it is premeditated and done with deliberate intent. I have only previously considered a physical intimate act as cheating. |
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It's partly about trust but most importantly, it's about your agreements and expectations. It's probably wise to prevent any contact initiation where it may lead to potential issues.
Relationship breakdowns usually involve secrets, so it's better to have fuller honesty and staying open imo |
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