FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > My mum is sort of like this....
My mum is sort of like this....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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((((ring))))
Me: Hi Mum
Mum: You picked up?
Me: I know
Mum: Why?
Me: Well, you called...
Mum: I wanted to leave a message...!
Me: Just tell me...
Mum: Hang up Benjamin
Me: Huh...okaaay.
^ Convo's with my mum goes something like that on most occasions...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Used to be the sandwich with my mum..
Would you like a sandwich..
No thanks!
You sure?
Positive
Go on, have a sandwich..
No thanks, I'm really ok...
But I'm making one
Not quite Mrs Doyle but..."
I only offer tea not sandwiches   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Used to be the sandwich with my mum..
Would you like a sandwich..
No thanks!
You sure?
Positive
Go on, have a sandwich..
No thanks, I'm really ok...
But I'm making one
"
^^ THAT is my nan more than my mum.
**My mum doesn't offer me food** |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My mum will tell me the same thing several times and then be surprised that i know the thing she told me. ..and then swear blind she told me another thing (normally something really important) when she hasn't. Drives me mad! |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"((((ring))))
Me: Hi Mum
Mum: You picked up?
Me: I know
Mum: Why?
Me: Well, you called...
Mum: I wanted to leave a message...!
Me: Just tell me...
Mum: Hang up Benjamin
Me: Huh...okaaay.
^ Convo's with my mum goes something like that on most occasions... "
I'd give the world to talk to my mum again.  |
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Mine stopped a random window cleaner on our road today asking if he did gutters. She explained she has a window cleaner but he doesn't do a very good job so she's looking for someone who will be better
At which point I had to apologise profusely to her rather offended current window cleaner  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Best one what she did the other day she donated my stepdads new expensive walking coat and boots to the homeless appeal and said to him well you wont want them anymore(hes terminally ill)"
ummm...that's actually quite tragic.  |
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Mine can't cut someone a slice of cake the size they want it.
She'll put the knife where she thinks and ask if that's an ok amount. You say yes and she can't help but Lift The Knife And Move It a cm to the left or right and *then* cut.
It's a family joke that's got so ott, she's started to refuse to serve anyone cake because we all take the piss.
The first year after I met my husband and he spent time with my family at Christmas, I told him to watch out for it and she did it. We all wet ourselves laughing and it's been hilarious, tears streaming down your face funny ever since.
Bless her. I wouldn't buy us Christmas presents any more if I was her. |
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"Best one what she did the other day she donated my stepdads new expensive walking coat and boots to the homeless appeal and said to him well you wont want them anymore(hes terminally ill)
ummm...that's actually quite tragic. "
or her way of dealing with things |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Best one what she did the other day she donated my stepdads new expensive walking coat and boots to the homeless appeal and said to him well you wont want them anymore(hes terminally ill)"
Really sorry to hear that |
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"Mine stopped a random window cleaner on our road today asking if he did gutters. She explained she has a window cleaner but he doesn't do a very good job so she's looking for someone who will be better
At which point I had to apologise profusely to her rather offended current window cleaner "
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By *Devil77Man
over a year ago
West Midlands |
"Used to be the sandwich with my mum..
Would you like a sandwich..
No thanks!
You sure?
Positive
Go on, have a sandwich..
No thanks, I'm really ok...
But I'm making one
Not quite Mrs Doyle but...
I only offer tea not sandwiches "
Am I the only one that got this?
You win my post of yhe day
Go on go on go on! |
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Earlier this year I was on phone at a festival.., "yes travelling was fine, yes it's not raining, no I won't drink too much"
missus? I was asked"
"no my mum, still have to tell her I got here OK or she will worry and ring/text every 10 minutes... I don't mind but I'm 47!!! wouldn't have it any other way though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i accidentally rang my son today and hung up straight away - he lives abroad and only actually ring if theres a problem - which is never thank god - he rang me back straight away in a real crazy panic which made me feel loved |
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"Used to be the sandwich with my mum..
Would you like a sandwich..
No thanks!
You sure?
Positive
Go on, have a sandwich..
No thanks, I'm really ok...
But I'm making one
Not quite Mrs Doyle but...
I only offer tea not sandwiches "
Wups! Sorry Mrs D 
Did not realise you were around |
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I once received two texts from an unknown number. The first said "hi hat"... the next said "this is my new number".
I replied "who is it?"
"Who is what" came the reply.
"Who are you?" Asks me.
"Oh sorry, I must have the wrong number" she responded.
In the end I had to ring to see who it was.... silly woman (love you really mum x)
Cal |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"my dad complained that nobody ever texted him...we pointed out that since he didn't have a mobile it was unlikely that they ever would.
"
Text his landline. It sounds like a message from Stephen Hawking.
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"((((ring))))
Me: Hi Mum
Mum: You picked up?
Me: I know
Mum: Why?
Me: Well, you called...
Mum: I wanted to leave a message...!
Me: Just tell me...
Mum: Hang up Benjamin
Me: Huh...okaaay.
^ Convo's with my mum goes something like that on most occasions...
I'd give the world to talk to my mum again. "
Me too |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
My mum had what I call a scattergun text approach. She knows I won't have my phone on at work so she texts during breaks, knowing I'll respond when I turn my phone back on so she gets everything out in a stream of consciousness along the lines of:
'how is your day did you get the photo your brother sent you I'm going to the hairdresser next weekend you should get your roots done have you thought about what you want for Christmas [that bit appears around September every year] I found out what a cougar is and I am not one thank you madam have you lost any weight yet love you x'
My mum is ace. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me it's more like:
Me: Hi
Mom: Hi. It's been a long time, why haven't you called?
Me: I've been busy, sorry.
Mom: You should call more.
Me: Anyway, what up?
Mom: I have so much to tell you and questions to ask but I really can't remember. I should start writing them down so I can remember to ask you.
Me: You said that last time.
Mom: Well if you called more often maybe I wouldn't forget things by the time I got to talk to you...
Etc, etc. |
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"((((ring))))
Me: Hi Mum
Mum: You picked up?
Me: I know
Mum: Why?
Me: Well, you called...
Mum: I wanted to leave a message...!
Me: Just tell me...
Mum: Hang up Benjamin
Me: Huh...okaaay.
^ Convo's with my mum goes something like that on most occasions...
I'd give the world to talk to my mum again. "
Same here  |
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"My mum's a fucking nut job. She just offends people for a living. If you think I'm bad... wait 'till you meet my mother.  "
Yes, after my grandmother's funeral I remember my mum saying (of her brother), "Thank fuck that's over, I never have to see that cunt again."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My late mother, tiniest, softest, kindest woman in the world.
I'd never heard her raise her voice or swear, not even a bugger.
Deaf in one ear, diagnosed with dementia.
Talking to my late father who mumbles and really doesn't understand mums dementia.
Their conversations were a joy to behold and frequently ended in a shouting match.
One day they're upstairs talking, I'm downstairs at the back of the house, they're immediately above me.
Voices get raised, doors get slammed, the whole house shakes as mum charges through the house on a rampage, storms past me into the garden.
Me, calm and softly spoken;
"What's up mum?"
"IT'S YOUR FATHER!!!!!!!!"
"What's he done mum?"
"HE KEEPS ON AT ME, I'VE JUST TOLD HIM, I'M NOT FUCKING PUGGLED YOU KNOW!!!!!!!!!"
*struggles to keep a straight face.....
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my mum may ask you if you want a sandwhich and no matter what you say its made for you even if you say no to the question
we may argue at times over certain silly things.
ive always been in touch but I also do the repairs to her home and she helps me out when I need it |
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By *aeganaWoman
over a year ago
birmingham |
My moms a loon we call her the little rockwieler lol shes 5 foot with a right mouth on her but love her to bits. Got a heart if gold and will do anything she can to helo but if u put the phone down before shes finished your gonna get an ear bashing. Made worse as she lives with me and my kid lol. |
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
At lest your still talking with your mum.
Mine riped me off financially 17 years agow and left me litrley with nuthing and then disserperd never seen or hard from agen.
And this wos wen I wos a,kid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mum phoned on Friday and her first comment was "I phoned for a reason, what do I have to tell you?" She was confused when I didn't know.
She also runs through the whole family's names (including dogs past and present) before settling on the correct name for her first born.
She does the food thing too. "Do you want a sandwhich?"
'No thanks mum'
"Beans on toast?"
'No thanks mum'
"I made scones"
'No thanks mum'
"Banana?"
It always ends at banana, regardless of the presence of actual bananas in the house. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Reminds me of my ex father in law, he used to ring up at about 1 in the afternoon and say
'oh you are up then'
'Yes I have three children dad'
Or he would ring and say
'Are you in?' No dad, you rang the home phone and I'm in the shops! (Which he should have said but didn't!)
G x |
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My mother never bothered calling us: not her job to phone us, we were supposed to call her. We didn't often as she'd then rant on about the pain having ungrateful kids...sigh.
Reading this I'm "envious" of those who have a relationship with their mum. I suppose that's why I don't miss an opportunity to contact my kids and let them know I'm thinking about them.
In her later years my mother-in-law had dementia and she would drive my ex crazy. One of the classics: he was cooking dinner when she said she fancied KFC. Where they lived it would have taken him about 45 minutes round trip, so he called our daughter to come pick him up and take him there. My daughter picked her dad up, drove to the KFC bought him back. Helped to get her nan prepared for her meal, dished it up for her to wrinkle her nose and say, "why have you given me this? I'm a vegetarian now!" |
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"At lest your still talking with your mum.
Mine riped me off financially 17 years agow and left me litrley with nuthing and then disserperd never seen or hard from agen.
And this wos wen I wos a,kid."
Ouch! Big ouch! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My mum is an incredibly clever woman, but she can be really gullible. When I was about 11 I convinced her that Jurassic Park was a PG rating because of dinosaur nudity.
She's just got a smart phone and is sending me about 40 photos a day of her cat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Phone calls with my dad go like this:
Me- hello, what's up?
Dad- my laptops not working?
M- what's it doing?
D-I've got a warning thing flash up. **reads text**
M- that's OK, close it down
D- how do I do that
M-click on the cross
D-what bleeding cross? There is no f*&^/in cross. It says ok or cancel
M- press cancel then
D- are you sure? I'm not sure. I'm not touching it. Can you do it when you come over
**leaves laptop plugged in for 4 days |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My mum will talk to strangers.
She was in Reading once, she doesn't live here, and she passed a young guy sitting on a bench who looked really miserable so she went back and asked if he was OK.
He said he'd just been dumped by his girlfriend so she started telling him that he would find love and that she was obviously not the right woman for him.
She then gave him a big bar of toblerone to cheer him up.
He was really grateful and gave her a massive smile.
I've told my work colleagues that if they ever fancy some chocolate, I'll let them know when she's in Reading and they can sit on a bench looking miserable |
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"((((ring))))
Me: Hi Mum
Mum: You picked up?
Me: I know
Mum: Why?
Me: Well, you called...
Mum: I wanted to leave a message...!
Me: Just tell me...
Mum: Hang up Benjamin
Me: Huh...okaaay.
^ Convo's with my mum goes something like that on most occasions... "
My mum sees the phone as a necessary evil! No pleasantries, no real conversation - just says what needs to be said, arranges what needs to be arranged then puts the phone down as quickly as possible! Bless her! Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"((((ring))))
Me: Hi Mum
Mum: You picked up?
Me: I know
Mum: Why?
Me: Well, you called...
Mum: I wanted to leave a message...!
Me: Just tell me...
Mum: Hang up Benjamin
Me: Huh...okaaay.
^ Convo's with my mum goes something like that on most occasions...
My mum sees the phone as a necessary evil! No pleasantries, no real conversation - just says what needs to be said, arranges what needs to be arranged then puts the phone down as quickly as possible! Bless her! Xx"
I wish my mum was more like this sometimes. A quick phone call from her is about 30 mins telling me all about her friends ailments |
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"((((ring))))
Me: Hi Mum
Mum: You picked up?
Me: I know
Mum: Why?
Me: Well, you called...
Mum: I wanted to leave a message...!
Me: Just tell me...
Mum: Hang up Benjamin
Me: Huh...okaaay.
^ Convo's with my mum goes something like that on most occasions...
My mum sees the phone as a necessary evil! No pleasantries, no real conversation - just says what needs to be said, arranges what needs to be arranged then puts the phone down as quickly as possible! Bless her! Xx
I wish my mum was more like this sometimes. A quick phone call from her is about 30 mins telling me all about her friends ailments "
Thanks lovely! I'm much more appreciative of my mother now!  |
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"At lest your still talking with your mum.
Mine riped me off financially 17 years agow and left me litrley with nuthing and then disserperd never seen or hard from agen.
And this wos wen I wos a,kid."
That's sad. It's true that not all parents are good parents. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A toast to all mums, those still with us and so sadly passed.
To mums!!!!!!
Thank you.
My mum died years ago, but a big thank you to all those sharing their stories xx"
Funny to read this as I woke this morning confused as I could hear my mum pottering about and could smell her morning cooking session... it was just a dream but for a few moments before I fully woke it felt like being a child at home again x I miss my scatty conversations with my mum.. only got my name right when I was in trouble and would often ring me to tell me the same thing she had told me the last time. But id give anything to have a conversation again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Mum phoned on Friday and her first comment was "I phoned for a reason, what do I have to tell you?" She was confused when I didn't know.
She also runs through the whole family's names (including dogs past and present) before settling on the correct name for her first born.
She does the food thing too. "Do you want a sandwhich?"
'No thanks mum'
"Beans on toast?"
'No thanks mum'
"I made scones"
'No thanks mum'
"Banana?"
It always ends at banana, regardless of the presence of actual bananas in the house. "
I get the name one all the time, I've just got used to saying my name out as she's going through the whole family |
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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"My mum will talk to strangers.
She was in Reading once, she doesn't live here, and she passed a young guy sitting on a bench who looked really miserable so she went back and asked if he was OK.
He said he'd just been dumped by his girlfriend so she started telling him that he would find love and that she was obviously not the right woman for him.
She then gave him a big bar of toblerone to cheer him up.
He was really grateful and gave her a massive smile.
I've told my work colleagues that if they ever fancy some chocolate, I'll let them know when she's in Reading and they can sit on a bench looking miserable "
Aww bless her. She was probably just what the lad needed at that time...the love of a mum. I always find it amazing how some people appear in our lives like that. Even if it's just for a brief moment. It's as if they were guided there just for that moment by an angel xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm kinda jealous of you guys, I don't have a good relationship with my mum, we just don't get on and end up screaming at each other so much we tend to avoid each other, I do however have a surrogate mother who's amazing, she's the kindest woman I've ever met and her husband, my surrogate Dad, is just the same, they took me under their wing when I was 17 and no matter what I know they're always there for me just like I am for them |
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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago
secret town |
"((((ring))))
Me: Hi Mum
Mum: You picked up?
Me: I know
Mum: Why?
Me: Well, you called...
Mum: I wanted to leave a message...!
Me: Just tell me...
Mum: Hang up Benjamin
Me: Huh...okaaay.
^ Convo's with my mum goes something like that on most occasions...
I'd give the world to talk to my mum again. "
Me to |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"((((ring))))
Me: Hi Mum
Mum: You picked up?
Me: I know
Mum: Why?
Me: Well, you called...
Mum: I wanted to leave a message...!
Me: Just tell me...
Mum: Hang up Benjamin
Me: Huh...okaaay.
^ Convo's with my mum goes something like that on most occasions...
I'd give the world to talk to my mum again.
Me to "
Ditto.... |
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When i split with my sons dad, mine left me and my son almost homeless whilst she lived in the 4 bedroom family home my dad let her buy him out of for the price he paid for it in 1977 (£12,000) on the condition that myself and my sister would ALWAYS have a place to live.
I'm so glad for you guys that have loving relationships with your mum's.
Last conversation I had with her was when she told me she would have let me move in if she'd have realised I would have replaced all the windows in the house at no cost to her, but she didn't hear me clearly. |
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What an amazing thread! lots of love.
Been laughing at the funny stories, though for me it's usually my dad that is scatty, & sending love to those who miss their departed & who don't/didn't have a good relationship.
I've always got my brothers/dog/rabbit (thankfully not the fish) names before mine & the list gets longer the more grandchildren appear. Usually ending in "you! You know who I mean"
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
"At lest your still talking with your mum.
Mine riped me off financially 17 years agow and left me litrley with nuthing and then disserperd never seen or hard from agen.
And this wos wen I wos a,kid.
Ouch! Big ouch!"
Ya... And that's just the tip of the iceberg of the thing cald my life. |
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
"At lest your still talking with your mum.
Mine riped me off financially 17 years agow and left me litrley with nuthing and then disserperd never seen or hard from agen.
And this wos wen I wos a,kid.
That's sad. It's true that not all parents are good parents. "
And I've never met my dad eather so ya crap presents. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My mum thinks I'm a medical encyclopaedia and asks me all sorts of in depth questions about her plethora of chronic ailments. I wouldn't care bit she sees doctors and specialists every other week and she still ask me. |
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When your mum goes though the whole families names before getting to yours even the dogs names before yours
or
When some ones on the street and she looks out the window and asks who they are
Like I know every one who walks up and down my mums street every day lol |
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"((((ring))))
Me: Hi Mum
Mum: You picked up?
Me: I know
Mum: Why?
Me: Well, you called...
Mum: I wanted to leave a message...!
Me: Just tell me...
Mum: Hang up Benjamin
Me: Huh...okaaay.
^ Convo's with my mum goes something like that on most occasions...
I'd give the world to talk to my mum again. "
Same here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mum-tea or coffee? Talkes about loosing weight, that she is doing well in slimming world, I look like i hhave put on and should watch what I eat.
If made some cake, want one with your cups?
Me-no thanks
Mum- gets offended and stroppy, are you sure you won't have
Me-oh ok then jjust one.
Eat that
Mum-help your self to another other wise your father will eat them all.
Carrys on telling me to not keep eatting so much while putting another slice of cake on my plate... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My mum still gives me.pocket money and if going out anywhere I have to ring her three times to let her know I'm back safe and I'm 45 and haven't lived at home for 24 years bless her |
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"Mum phoned on Friday and her first comment was "I phoned for a reason, what do I have to tell you?" She was confused when I didn't know.
She also runs through the whole family's names (including dogs past and present) before settling on the correct name for her first born.
She does the food thing too. "Do you want a sandwhich?"
'No thanks mum'
"Beans on toast?"
'No thanks mum'
"I made scones"
'No thanks mum'
"Banana?"
It always ends at banana, regardless of the presence of actual bananas in the house.
I get the name one all the time, I've just got used to saying my name out as she's going through the whole family "
I already do this - and as well as all the kids names I throw my oldest neice's name into the mix too! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I'd give the world to talk to my mum again. "
I was just thinking that too, reading the thread.
My mum used to send strange predictive texts. She once texted that she had thundering blood. I never established what she'd meant to say. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My gorgeous mother is like a jellyfish. Fascinating to watch but stings.
A favourite example:
'You look beautiful today. I'm glad I don't have your hair. It's such a curse. That dress looks good on. Don't you think you should wear something longer to cover your chunky legs?'
I do love her. Her complimentary insults are the best. My sisters and I compete to get the best.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"((((ring))))
Me: Hi Mum
Mum: You picked up?
Me: I know
Mum: Why?
Me: Well, you called...
Mum: I wanted to leave a message...!
Me: Just tell me...
Mum: Hang up Benjamin
Me: Huh...okaaay.
^ Convo's with my mum goes something like that on most occasions...
I'd give the world to talk to my mum again.
Me too "
Me three |
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I think im turning into my mum ....I hear myself saying things to my grown up children that she used to say to me ...
I dont have her anymore she died a couple of years ago
Treasure your mum ....she wont be there forever |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
My last conversation with my mother went something like this:
Me: hi mum, been arrested lately?
Her: nope but I will be if your father doesn't get off that chair and get exercising
Me: mum, he's I'll, let him be
Her: he's getting on my tits (!!!!)
Me: MUM,
Her: is Jason there?
Me: yes, do you want to talk to him?
Her: no, just ask him if he can get me a pink smart car
Me: why? You have a car
Her: well, when your father kicks the bucket, I want a smart car, in pink and I want daisy transfers on it
Her: and I'm going to buy an apartment
Me: Mum, don't say that in front of dad
Her: why not, deaf old coot uses his hearing aids as an ornament he can't hear a bloody thing
.......
And so it went in. My dad has COPD and I think this is my mums way of coping.
Batty old cow |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I sort of forgot about this thread.
I'm going round my parents tonight and would like to show her this thread.
But I can't because it's Fabswingers...
....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I sort of forgot about this thread.
I'm going round my parents tonight and would like to show her this thread.
But I can't because it's Fabswingers...
.... "
How's her eyesight? Can you pretend it's Reddit? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mine stopped a random window cleaner on our road today asking if he did gutters. She explained she has a window cleaner but he doesn't do a very good job so she's looking for someone who will be better
At which point I had to apologise profusely to her rather offended current window cleaner "
Hahahahahaha hilarious x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My Mam only rings to have a go at me about something or other. She disapproves of absolutely everything I do or don't do. Can't win. Although she is being nice to me atm so something is clearly wrong
Mrs K |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My mum and dad will ring and leave a voicemail and will always say hi it's me your mum/dad as if I won't recognise their voices or another one is when they ask where I am but they have rang my landline lol x |
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I totally get that!
My Mum rings and she says 'hi where are you?'
Um... well given you've just called my home number... have a guess?! 