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You know you are getting old when...
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Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 a.m . is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
You hear your favorite song in a lift.
You watch the News.
Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.”
Jeans and a jumper no longer qualify as “dressed up.”
You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.
Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
You feed your dog real dog food instead of McDonald's leftovers.
Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
You take naps.
Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
You go to Boots for ibuprofen, not condoms and pregnancy test kits.
A £4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good sh!t.”
You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
“I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”
90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking “Oh sh!t what the hell!” |
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By *adchick OP Couple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 a.m . is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
You hear your favorite song in a lift.
You watch the News.
Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.”
Jeans and a jumper no longer qualify as “dressed up.”
You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.
Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
You feed your dog real dog food instead of McDonald's leftovers.
Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
You take naps.
Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
You go to Boots for ibuprofen, not condoms and pregnancy test kits.
A £4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good sh!t.”
You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
“I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”
90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking “Oh sh!t what the hell!”"
I've just related to all of those apart from the dog! No pets here, too much effort |
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By *adchick OP Couple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"When you glance in the mirror as you get out of the shower and think "Blimey, that needs an iron""
Hahahahahaha
What about, I only have showers cus getting out of a bath is a pain.... Literally...pain |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 a.m . is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
You hear your favorite song in a lift.
You watch the News.
Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.”
Jeans and a jumper no longer qualify as “dressed up.”
You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.
Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
You feed your dog real dog food instead of McDonald's leftovers.
Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
You take naps.
Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
You go to Boots for ibuprofen, not condoms and pregnancy test kits.
A £4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good sh!t.”
You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
“I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”
90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking “Oh sh!t what the hell!”
I've just related to all of those apart from the dog! No pets here, too much effort "
Haha same here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When you're in a night club still thinking you've got the moves then some sexy young thing comes up and says "you used to babysit for me"!!"
I would literally die if that happened to me |
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