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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
Hi Deidre, recently my missus' & my own personal space has been impeded by the arrival of her eldest son (23). I agreed to put him up for "a couple of nights". but this has evolved into him moving all his stuff, including C.R.T. big fook off telly back into OUR HOUSE!
How long should this go on, have you experienced any sort of unexpected long term invasion?
Ps I do like my missus' son but he just cramps our style sometimes.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dear Self Absorbed
It may have slipped your attention that the country is in recession and young people are struggling the most. Much to their chagrin they are returning home, if they were lucky enough to leave in the first place.
When you have kids they unfortunately don't come with an expiry date for when parental help expires.
You are temporary: in all likelihood in five years time she won't recall who you are as she has a new partner, (less if you make her progeny unwelcome in HER home), she will however always be a mum and have her son!
Look at it this way, perhaps her son will keep her mind occupied while you're off shagging all sorts!
Just a thought! |
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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago
Notting |
Ahhhhhhhh shit on a schtick - how da fook do i answer dat when i dont have keeds of my own!!!
Been luckin after da little fella;s since i was 14 - but shtill dont under-fuckin-stand em,
Aanyone around here got a ffooking clue????
xxx |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
"Dear Self Absorbed
It may have slipped your attention that the country is in recession and young people are struggling the most. Much to their chagrin they are returning home, if they were lucky enough to leave in the first place.
When you have kids they unfortunately don't come with an expiry date for when parental help expires.
You are temporary: in all likelihood in five years time she won't recall who you are as she has a new partner, (less if you make her progeny unwelcome in HER home), she will however always be a mum and have her son!
Look at it this way, perhaps her son will keep her mind occupied while you're off shagging all sorts!
Just a thought!"
Cheers sasy, you have got this all misunderstood perhaps. We don't have any freedom to do what we desire now? When it was usually taken as red? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just make sure he contributes a fair whack to the household.
My son was always popping back cuz he thought it was cheap.
Proved to him it wasnt. lmao 
Mind you....if i had the chance to have him back here and not in the usa . i wouldnt charge him a penny cuz i sure do miss him |
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By *ce Winger OP Man
over a year ago
P.O. Box DE1 0NQ |
He is not my son but a friend who is my missus' son. I agreed that he could stop for a couple of days but this now looks like it could run into weeks!!!
Swinging successfully now follows with every poster with the same problem??
Advice or experience ?
You decide
The choice is yours.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well I guess it all depends on the sitution doesnt it. If it is solely your house then you dont have to have him there long term, but you will ruin the relationship with his mother. A woman who has children should always put her children first. I have to say that no man comes before my boys so you either accept he is part of her, you knew she had a child when you met her I expect. He may decide never to leave his mothers home or you move on and get rid of the two of them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry but he is her son, and if its her house she is entitled to have who she likes living there. I work round my son who lives with me, he (and my daughter) come first, swinging second |
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"....
Cheers sasy, you have got this all misunderstood perhaps. We don't have any freedom to do what we desire now? When it was usually taken as red?"
Suggestion:
"Hey son, are you off out tonight as your mum and me fancy inviting some cock over" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry but he is her son, and if its her house she is entitled to have who she likes living there. I work round my son who lives with me, he (and my daughter) come first, swinging second"
... And any good mother will be the same... Good luck OP { Divorced of Deritend} |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well our son and his partner and baby son are moving back with us and I am pleased we can help out.The kids always come first and yes this will create a few problems regards fun but we had the kids and they are our responsibility and always will be. |
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surely any self respecting 23 year old will have a decent social life so likely hood is you wont be seeing him much anyway.
and if it is only for a couple of weeks here is the harm really? if you love his mother (your missus) then surely helping out her child is a small hardship to suffer?
like peaches said, if it turns out to be more than a few days then discuss charging him board etc
he is a grown man so maybe a quick word in his shell like about you and his mum having some 'alone time' as well might help you through this swinging dry patch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dear Self Absorbed
It may have slipped your attention that the country is in recession and young people are struggling the most. Much to their chagrin they are returning home, if they were lucky enough to leave in the first place.
When you have kids they unfortunately don't come with an expiry date for when parental help expires.
You are temporary: in all likelihood in five years time she won't recall who you are as she has a new partner, (less if you make her progeny unwelcome in HER home), she will however always be a mum and have her son!
Look at it this way, perhaps her son will keep her mind occupied while you're off shagging all sorts!
Just a thought!
Cheers sasy, you have got this all misunderstood perhaps. We don't have any freedom to do what we desire now? When it was usually taken as red?"
I had my children young, thinking they'd be gone with their own families by the time I reached the age I am now. One has gone and is getting married, one is at uni - and the middle one has a good job, so had her boyfriend and they were looking to set up home together.
He lost his job in the recession and now works on a temporary basis as a personal trainer and has moved into my house. When my youngest went off to uni I was planning all sorts - all day sex, swinging from the light fittings, you name it.
Now, although my daughter works set hours her boyfriend doesn't. I don't know when he'll be home.
Of course I'd love to have my home to myself, I had plans, now they've changed, it won't be forever. I just can't imagine posting about lack of sexual opportunity because loved ones are at home. I suppose we all have different priorities - I just hope I NEVER lose track of mine! |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
My pregnant daughter has moved in with us now she is on her own and quite ill.
Yes, it's fucked up our social life and we can't go far in case we need to come back again quickly........
But.....
She and the baby are far more important than extra shagging.
Think yourself lucky that the son feels able to move back, there are plenty of children, even into adulthood who don't have that sort of bond with their parents. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My pregnant daughter has moved in with us now she is on her own and quite ill.
Yes, it's fucked up our social life and we can't go far in case we need to come back again quickly........
But.....
She and the baby are far more important than extra shagging.
Think yourself lucky that the son feels able to move back, there are plenty of children, even into adulthood who don't have that sort of bond with their parents."
I think that's how most parents think. I'm sure if it was the OP's son he'd have a differing view - then again... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mine all left home years ago. But youngest came back for a while after he sold his house and was waiting for the new one to be built.
Although I had an end date he moved straight back into teenage mode at the age of 23 despite having had his own home and independent life for many years. And I pandered!!! Its just easier to do that to keep my own house how I wanted it. He seemed to invade every room. I forgot how much he ate.
I found myself listening for him coming home and couldnt sleep until he did (strange that whenever any of my brood stay for an overnight visit I worry till they get home).
I also became his social secretary and taxi driver again. I wouldnt do it for any of his siblings - but when they used to pop in he would have THEM running round making him cuppas and sarnies too!
I couldn't wait for him to leave. He still visits and stays over a lot but now has a little clone he brings with him - she's as much as whirlwind and twice as demanding! His missus is lovely but she leaves fake tan all over the bedding!
I think mummery is a life sentence!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Haha am 33 and never left lol
I was planning it but went back uni so not goin anywhere for another year half
But family is family and sex you can do hotels, clubs or outdoors so don't moan and support |
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I know for a fact that if I needed to move back home with my parents they would have me there in a flash. I'm fairly sure they don't have the same sort of social life I do but at the same time, I'm an adult and appreciate that they also need their space so I would have respect for that and let them know where I am and when I'm coming home etc. just as I did when I lived there.
I'm fairly sure that you could have a bit of a chat with her son, in a positive, pleasant way and just explain that you're all adults living under one roof and could he be considerate while he's staying with you and let you know his plans. You don't need details, just as he doesn't but you can survive for a while making a few changes to your sex life for the benefit of everyone. Lots to be said for outdoor nonsense now that the weather is a bit better! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Haha am 33 and never left lol
I was planning it but went back uni so not goin anywhere for another year half
But family is family and sex you can do hotels, clubs or outdoors so don't moan and support "
Are you independent in the home or is your mum still looking after you? |
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"
Are you independent in the home or is your mum still looking after you?"
I'm independently living on my own but I still take my washing home to my mum! Granted it's my bed sheets but she gets them hung out to dry in the garden and they come back to me all ironed and smelling of home. It's my one guilty pleasure that I wouldn't give up for all the tea in China!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Both lol am a poor student lol but they know will be worth when I finish and get rid of me lol"
That old chestunt! In ten years time we will be reading the headlines "Couple leave home because their middle aged student son wont"
I think theres nothing wrong with kids living at home as long as they share with the upkeep of it and share the chores. And do their own laundry. |
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"Both lol am a poor student lol but they know will be worth when I finish and get rid of me lol
That old chestunt! In ten years time we will be reading the headlines "Couple leave home because their middle aged student son wont"
I think theres nothing wrong with kids living at home as long as they share with the upkeep of it and share the chores. And do their own laundry."
Pah... doing my own laundry is over-rated!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My eldest son moved away to London 2 years ago,when he finishes his degree if he wanted to come home again he would be welcome to stay as long as he liked,like others have pointed out kids come 1st before swinging or anything else.
My middle child and youngest are still at home,so now the are older(18&14) its got harder to accom,but we can go clubs travel ect,never would i think about kicking them out just so we can swing more often. |
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Both of my daughters(20 and 22yrs) are living with their boyfriends. They still come and stay at home the odd night with boyfriends in tow. They have keys to the house as this is their home and always will be. They call at all times of day and night. I wouldnt have it any other way, children should always come first no matter what it is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Obviously you will have known that your partner had kids when you met her,it doesnt matter if they are young Children or grown up kids,your partner and her kids come as a package.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi Deidre, recently my missus' & my own personal space has been impeded by the arrival of her eldest son (23). I agreed to put him up for "a couple of nights". but this has evolved into him moving all his stuff, including C.R.T. big fook off telly back into OUR HOUSE!
How long should this go on, have you experienced any sort of unexpected long term invasion?
Ps I do like my missus' son but he just cramps our style sometimes. "
Well you can watch dancing on ice and the xfactor on the big screen! Super |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My 26 year old son was back and forward four times, before he settled. Wrecked plans that I had for the house more than once, but he's mine so you just get on and do your best |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Take him out for a drink and man to man have a chat and tell him how you feel .... and see what he say ... being open about how you feel is best, As this could lead to you not getting on if you dont. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well we got a caravan lol that worked well when the girls were at home. One has come back for six months (end of relationship).
IF they are working, then they pay rent to be at home. We did that as soon as they started earning. Not a lot but enough so that it was just a bit cheaper then having their own place.
From the day they left school (even when at college etc), they had to do their own washing etc.
They both live locally and know that if they needed, they would be welcome. They also know we swing, so no problems with them just turning up (unless an emergency).
We look onm it this way. They are adults now and have their own lives to live. But if needed we are here to help. But so do we have our own lives to live.
xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well we got a caravan lol .
xxx"
YES that could work a caravan in the garden You can pick them up now not for alot of money for a older but very good one . I new a couple let there girl live in theres 6 months as split from her husband . |
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