FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Playing with a married man
Playing with a married man
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"Why is it the cardinal sin on here for some not to play with married/attached people?" I don't consider it a cardinal sin. It's not really about morals either... as a rule I choose not to get involved with those who are cheating mainly because I don't want to be caught up in the backlash should it go tits up. What other people do is no concern to me, be that those playing away or those playing with them. The only time I don't ask nor care is when I meet people at clubs... I don't need a life history for people that I'm probably not going to see again. So in answer to your question, I have no idea!  | |||
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"Why is it the cardinal sin on here for some not to play with married/attached people?" its not, its just some people dont choose to shit on someones poor wife whilst others do. anyone in a relationship based on trust and commitment shouldnt be trying to get his end up any available munter going. the excuses will pour out of these people as to why they do it on this thread but if your not happy with your partner then leave them and be single again. | |||
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"Probably cos it's been done to death and will very quickly descend into total mayhem amid accusations of all married men playing away being total wankers. When in fact, all men, married or not, are wankers - we all do it, why deny it. I tug at least once per day, if not five. "Well me for one don't think married men are wankers at the end of the day we all have needs | |||
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"There are also alot of "cheating " wives "which is why we worded it partners | |||
"I can see some not wanting to play on here with married men say but in a club how you going to know? Not all wear a wedding ring x" So is it the knowing he's married, or the act of shagging a married man albeit unbeknown, that's the root of the problem? Answering that honestly should tell you that if you aren't aware he's married and shag him then in the back of your mind you don't really care and it's domestic affairs are his own business. Before anyone condemns that _iew, I'd ask that do people who steadfastedly refuse to play with married men do absolutely everything they can to establish that the guy is single? | |||
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"Why is it the cardinal sin on here for some not to play with married/attached people?" Erm,because every one has their own limits and boundaries? | |||
"As I see it they are the ones cheating so why should you care? It's not an attack just how I see it x" Then if that works for you Janelle, it's your business and no-one elses. | |||
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"Well i know that when playing at chams etc... Those little words dont get a mention. Well i honestly havent mentioned them and those i know dont either. And play progresses on... Totally guiltless and in ignorance. Not saying its right or i condont anyone cheating.. But in clubs etc... Its the norm just to have fun by quite a lot of people and no questions asked. "Exactly....it's not possible to play in clubs etc. and know the ins and outs of someone elses personal life. | |||
"Dunno what all the fuss is about really. After all, what is sex? All a man is doing is putting his pisser up a woman's pisser, why attach so much emotional bollocks to it? {runs off again} "Where's the romance Wishy lol | |||
"As I see it they are the ones cheating so why should you care? It's not an attack just how I see it x" I see it that way to. I dont ask the question, I am not interested in what they do for a living, what car they drive, where they live. I am only interested in whether I find them attractive, they make me laugh, I feel comfortable with them, my partner feels comfortable with them, we understand each others limits. I dont give my phone number to any playmate and i dont expect to hear from them on a personal level after the meet (apart from an friendship message once in a while on here etc) | |||
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"i wnt meet married or attached men cos it end day cnt plz one woman never plz other ....i have been cheated on and it hurts so would never do it to other woman why have there bread buttered both ends "You mean you won't 'knowingly'.... | |||
"Dunno what all the fuss is about really. After all, what is sex? All a man is doing is putting his pisser up a woman's pisser, why attach so much emotional bollocks to it? {runs off again}
Where's the romance Wishy lol"Box of chocs every Feb 14th and Xmas Day. Make em last! | |||
"i wnt meet married or attached men cos it end day cnt plz one woman never plz other ....i have been cheated on and it hurts so would never do it to other woman why have there bread buttered both ends "Yes i does hurt like hell been there as well  | |||
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"I know so I reworded this one. It's a popular topic so can't see why it was pulled " If a mod makes a judgement to pull it then you shouldn't be started another one. | |||
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"were getting married soon janelle you can play with us xxxxx" Well your friends so it goes without saying sweets. Hope Mandy is feeling better x | |||
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"But brightbabe not everyones honest on here some don't always say they are married and pretend they are single and get away with it x" Totally, that's why I said knowingly. The most you can do is make the choices with the information you've got. And mine is not to play if I KNOW they're attached. But blokes with partners give a lot of signals without even realising it and if I find out at a later date they're not single, it's endex, no questions asked. | |||
"Why is it the cardinal sin on here for some not to play with married/attached people?" Because for some of us, swinging is about trust and honesty with our own partners and we won't meet those that can't be truthful and honest with their own partner. If a spouse is cheating, then they have no trust and honesty, something WE strive for. We may have unwittingly played with a married person at a club but you do find that they have a tendancy to have left by 8pm so they can get home. I won't say it's right, but I have no doubt those of us that play in clubs have probably done it at some point. But also, for my own reasoning, I've been cheated on and it nearly destroyed me........ I never want to put someone else through that. | |||
"Why is it the cardinal sin on here for some not to play with married/attached people?" Why shouldn't it be? | |||
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"I've read several different threads supporting both sides to the argument on this subject. I personally _iew this subject with the following mindset... If I were married, and met others for sex, I wouldn't be in a position to argue if my wife did the same to me!" Sounds fair to me.  | |||
"Dunno what all the fuss is about really. After all, what is sex? All a man is doing is putting his pisser up a woman's pisser, why attach so much emotional bollocks to it? {runs off again} "Run like the wind! | |||
"Why is it the cardinal sin on here for some not to play with married/attached people? Why shouldn't it be?" it was a question jeez | |||
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"Why is it the cardinal sin on here for some not to play with married/attached people? Why shouldn't it be? it was a question jeez " So was mine. | |||
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"Why is it the cardinal sin on here for some not to play with married/attached people? Why shouldn't it be? it was a question jeez " So I answered your question... will you answer mine? | |||
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"Why is it the cardinal sin on here for some not to play with married/attached people? Why shouldn't it be? it was a question jeez So I answered your question... will you answer mine?" Because to me who plays with married men I'm doing nothing wrong and will continue doing so it's NSA sex nothing more not emotions so to me it's not a cardinal sin. | |||
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"Why is it the cardinal sin on here for some not to play with married/attached people?" I dont mind playing with married men as long as their wifes are aware and happy with the set up. I know its not always easy to know if guys are married or not wen your playing at parties/clubs etc | |||
"Why is it the cardinal sin on here for some not to play with married/attached people? Why shouldn't it be? it was a question jeez So I answered your question... will you answer mine? Because to me who plays with married men I'm doing nothing wrong and will continue doing so it's NSA sex nothing more not emotions so to me it's not a cardinal sin. " I wasn't actually asking why you are not fussy about it, I was asking why you thought other people shouldn't think it is wrong. | |||
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"Never had that I can't see one leaving his wife for a tranny lol" | |||
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"Haven't seen you online for a while Katie nice to see you back x" I have been lurking.. not posting.. lol Been a little tied up
Katie. x | |||
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"Knowingly helping someone to cheat is just as bad as cheating, you become a part of it all, note the word knowingly." Indeed. | |||
"looking through the profiles there are also plenty of married women on this site who are looking for nsa fun. are they treated differently? At the end of the day were are all looking for nsa fun. It would only become an issue in my mind if it became a regular meet with the married person which increases the possibility of the hassle of any marital issues. "whats good for the goose is good for the gander!!! | |||
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" ... I have seen a lot of "well I wouldnt knowingly play with a married man but in a club I wouldnt ask" - that really is double standards. A building doesnt make it ok. If you have the morals and scruples that you all say you have in relation to marrieds, then dont go and play in clubs with any other men. " There are no double standards in my moral code. Where it happens is not the point.... it is how they came to be there. There is a difference between me arranging to meet a cheat and a cheat being present somewhere I am playing. If I agree to knowingly meet a cheat to play with them 1-2-1 or in a 3some, I am the reason they are going to lie to their partner on that day... I am without doubt part of the lie. I am the person who allowed them to visit.... I am the enabler. I am the person who encouraged them and allowed them into my home to cheat on their partner.... knowingly. I am giving consent to their actions, so I am in no position to say 'what you choose to do has nothing to do with me'... I am the reason it happened. | |||
"Knowingly helping someone to cheat is just as bad as cheating, you become a part of it all, note the word knowingly." Actually, thinking about this... are they as bad or are some in fact worse? At least some of the cheats might feel guilty about what they have done at some point. | |||
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"Crystal it says you won't meet cheaters but you don't play with your husband. He knows but doesn't play or come with you. That's cheating to me. Would you be happy if he was doing the same. It's good for you but probably not for him. Me and Reno play together we make this a partnership. To me your a cheat. Cecilia x" How can that be cheating if everyone knows and are happy with it? | |||
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"Crystal it says you won't meet cheaters but you don't play with your husband. He knows but doesn't play or come with you. That's cheating to me. Would you be happy if he was doing the same. It's good for you but probably not for him. Me and Reno play together we make this a partnership. To me your a cheat. Cecilia x" I've heard some crap trap in my time but this tops it. I know lots who play with permission from their partners it's not cheating and most partners gets involved. How? They like to hear about it when the wife/hubby gets home. Then have sex. It happens. | |||
"Crystal it says you won't meet cheaters but you don't play with your husband. He knows but doesn't play or come with you. That's cheating to me. Would you be happy if he was doing the same. It's good for you but probably not for him. Me and Reno play together we make this a partnership. To me your a cheat. Cecilia x" i cant force him to come with me that wud be rape | |||
"Crystal it says you won't meet cheaters but you don't play with your husband. He knows but doesn't play or come with you. That's cheating to me. Would you be happy if he was doing the same. It's good for you but probably not for him. Me and Reno play together we make this a partnership. To me your a cheat. Cecilia x" What a load of rubbish, sorry but you really have very little idea if you believe this to be cheating. | |||
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"Mmmmmm well I have been with and had a relationship with a married man ...... This is gonna sound proper mean now but here goes ...... Not once did I ever feel guilty or think about his wife when we was together it didnt even cross my mind and I still dont feel bad to this day ...... When she did find out about us she still stayed with him and we still carryed on seeing each other with out her knowing ...... In the end I told her that we was still seeing each other and guess what they is still together ...... He will do it again not with me tho thats over and done with But with someone else And I bet you any penny she will still stay with him if she found out ...... So in my eyes thats her own fault for letting him get away with it and not doing something bout it ...... Would I go with a married man. Again no I wasted two years of my life and it aint worth all the trouble ...... So yes I learnt me lesson " Sounds to me you wanted more from this married man, and resent his wife for not getting shot of him so you could have him. Why would you be so nasty as to tell her otherwise? You took it on yourself to waste two years pining after someone that wasn't free to you: telling the wife to share your self imposed misery is just not nice! | |||
"Mmmmmm well I have been with and had a relationship with a married man ...... This is gonna sound proper mean now but here goes ...... Not once did I ever feel guilty or think about his wife when we was together it didnt even cross my mind and I still dont feel bad to this day ...... When she did find out about us she still stayed with him and we still carryed on seeing each other with out her knowing ...... In the end I told her that we was still seeing each other and guess what they is still together ...... He will do it again not with me tho thats over and done with But with someone else And I bet you any penny she will still stay with him if she found out ...... So in my eyes thats her own fault for letting him get away with it and not doing something bout it ...... Would I go with a married man. Again no I wasted two years of my life and it aint worth all the trouble ...... So yes I learnt me lesson Sounds to me you wanted more from this married man, and resent his wife for not getting shot of him so you could have him. Why would you be so nasty as to tell her otherwise? You took it on yourself to waste two years pining after someone that wasn't free to you: telling the wife to share your self imposed misery is just not nice!" nods head in agreement. why would you want to cause distress if the relationship was giving you everything you needed. you may say more fool her, i say the possibility exists that what they had was strong enough for you to not infiltrate it. that's gotta be a kick to the confidence... | |||
"Mmmmmm well I have been with and had a relationship with a married man ...... This is gonna sound proper mean now but here goes ...... Not once did I ever feel guilty or think about his wife when we was together it didnt even cross my mind and I still dont feel bad to this day ...... When she did find out about us she still stayed with him and we still carryed on seeing each other with out her knowing ...... In the end I told her that we was still seeing each other and guess what they is still together ...... He will do it again not with me tho thats over and done with But with someone else And I bet you any penny she will still stay with him if she found out ...... So in my eyes thats her own fault for letting him get away with it and not doing something bout it ...... Would I go with a married man. Again no I wasted two years of my life and it aint worth all the trouble ...... So yes I learnt me lesson Sounds to me you wanted more from this married man, and resent his wife for not getting shot of him so you could have him. Why would you be so nasty as to tell her otherwise? You took it on yourself to waste two years pining after someone that wasn't free to you: telling the wife to share your self imposed misery is just not nice!" Well said Sassy | |||
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"well my husband dusnt see me playing alone as cheating and after all thats all that matters to me ! " Don’t worry, neither will many, cheating involves lies and deceit, and you’re guilty of neither | |||
"well my husband dusnt see me playing alone as cheating and after all thats all that matters to me ! " You play to your own rules....not the rules of anyone else, and that is all that matters | |||
"well my husband dusnt see me playing alone as cheating and after all thats all that matters to me ! " Hardly call it cheating if you and your husband are happy with it. | |||
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"Sam has a single profile on here and I used to have one to ...... I 100% trust him that he wouldnt go and cheat on me and if he ever did then that be us over and he knows that ...... Anyways I no the password to his profile so I could check anytime if I wanted but like I said I trust him 100% so I have no need to look "I can honestly say that i wouldnt trust ANY man again But then i dont or wont put my entire trust in ANYONE. Its called self preservation | |||
"Sam has a single profile on here and I used to have one to ...... I 100% trust him that he wouldnt go and cheat on me and if he ever did then that be us over and he knows that ...... Anyways I no the password to his profile so I could check anytime if I wanted but like I said I trust him 100% so I have no need to look
I can honestly say that i wouldnt trust
ANY man again
But then i dont or wont put my entire trust in ANYONE.
Its called self preservation "My ex-husband never cheated on me so I don't have any issues around that but I wouldn't be naïve to trust anybody 100%! My youngest sister was convinced 100% her husband would never cheat or leave her: he cheated and left her! | |||
"Sam has a single profile on here and I used to have one to ...... I 100% trust him that he wouldnt go and cheat on me and if he ever did then that be us over and he knows that ...... Anyways I no the password to his profile so I could check anytime if I wanted but like I said I trust him 100% so I have no need to look
I can honestly say that i wouldnt trust
ANY man again
But then i dont or wont put my entire trust in ANYONE.
Its called self preservation
My ex-husband never cheated on me so I don't have any issues around that but I wouldn't be naïve to trust anybody 100%!
My youngest sister was convinced 100% her husband would never cheat or leave her: he cheated and left her!"A reason not to marry for me, all i see is people cheating and not trusting, but trusting, thinking they wont and they do | |||
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"That's me I'm not on here to justify who I sleep with whether they are married or not. I'm breaking no rules on fab by doing so either. At the end of the day I'm doing nothing wrong if others see that I am then that's their concern but I won't be losing any sleep over it" Interesting that.... Hmmmm People say this when they have never seen what happens... Because until you put a face or a voice or even just word of pain or anger attached to them, they are just another person. And that's why the "not my problem" doesn't work in the real world when confronted with someone, because your actions do affect people... It does become your problem when someone screams at you down the phone, it does become your problem when the person is looking at you eye to eye. It does happen to real people in real life and we have all heard people tell stories that attest to that, people aren't as bulletproof as they like to think | |||
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"And Fabio it's not happened to me I don't get that close to my meets or want to know their life story. " Which is where the word "knowingly" comes back into the equation.... You can't claim "blissful ignorance" if you know... That then becomes a cold, calculated decision | |||
"Which is where the word "knowingly" comes back into the equation.... You can't claim "blissful ignorance" if you know... That then becomes a cold, calculated decision " . Agree. Now that I know someone I played with at a club is attached, it is unlikely I would play with him again if we meet again. | |||
"Sam has a single profile on here and I used to have one to ...... I 100% trust him that he wouldnt go and cheat on me and if he ever did then that be us over and he knows that ...... Anyways I no the password to his profile so I could check anytime if I wanted but like I said I trust him 100% so I have no need to look
I can honestly say that i wouldnt trust
ANY man again
But then i dont or wont put my entire trust in ANYONE.
Its called self preservation
My ex-husband never cheated on me so I don't have any issues around that but I wouldn't be naïve to trust anybody 100%!
My youngest sister was convinced 100% her husband would never cheat or leave her: he cheated and left her!
A reason not to marry for me, all i see is people cheating and not trusting, but trusting, thinking they wont and they do"he has never given me any reason not to trust him intill he does i WILL trust him 100% on my back so be it ... im far from naive i think if your in a relationship trust is a big thing if u aint got trust u aint got nothing ...thats what i think anyways | |||
"Sam has a single profile on here and I used to have one to ...... I 100% trust him that he wouldnt go and cheat on me and if he ever did then that be us over and he knows that ...... Anyways I no the password to his profile so I could check anytime if I wanted but like I said I trust him 100% so I have no need to look
I can honestly say that i wouldnt trust
ANY man again
But then i dont or wont put my entire trust in ANYONE.
Its called self preservation
My ex-husband never cheated on me so I don't have any issues around that but I wouldn't be naïve to trust anybody 100%!
My youngest sister was convinced 100% her husband would never cheat or leave her: he cheated and left her!
A reason not to marry for me, all i see is people cheating and not trusting, but trusting, thinking they wont and they do he has never given me any reason not to trust him intill he does i WILL trust him 100% on my back so be it ... im far from naive i think if your in a relationship trust is a big thing if u aint got trust u aint got nothing ...thats what i think anyways "I agree with you. I trusted my husband, as I said he never cheated, never gave me cause for concern. Would I, do I trust anybody 100% though? No! Hell, can't even vouch for myself 100%! | |||
"This time last year i was falling to bits because i'd found this site in the history of my own laptop, which the man i wanted to spend my life with had been using while i'd been away for a weekend. I spent several weeks using the site to see when he was online - while i was in bed mostly, torturing myself trying to decide what to do. Sad i guess but i hoped he was just using it to look at pics and hoped i'd learn to turn a blind eye to it. One day he left it logged in and i found the full extent of his use and frankly the bottom fell out of my world. I'd never knowingly want to be a part of putting anyone else through that. " a salutory tale indeed | |||
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