Riddle me this
riddle me that
i cant get a meet
maybe i am too fat
Ladies get a shock
at the size of my cock
it brings me to tears
i havent seen it in years
Id settle for a fluzy
whos name is suzy
i wont go in a huff
if i could just see her chuff
Dont make me beg
my wangs covered in smeg
it wont be obscene
if you just lick it clean
Ill ride you for hours
wont buy you flowers
youll be begging for more
or more likely just sore
Wont offer you cash
but youll end up with a rash
youll know its not right
when youre scratching all night
Why will noone meet
youd be in for a treat
ill make sure you come first
im a lying bastard
So come suck my dick
but please make it quick
the football is on
its time you were gone.
CONSTUCTIVE CRITISISM ONLY PLEASE |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Constructive criticism... ok, then..
A Shakespearean, or English, sonnet consists of 14 lines, each line containing ten syllables and written in iambic pentameter, in which a pattern of an unemphasized syllable followed by an emphasized syllable is repeated five times.
Iambic pentameter is:
da DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM
(each da DUM is one 'foot', the five pairs making five 'feet' in poetry)
The rhyme scheme in a Shakespearean sonnet is:
a-b-a-b,
c-d-c-d,
e-f-e-f,
g-g;
..the last two lines are a rhyming couplet.
(for each letter represented above you would need different words that rhyme, for example:
word/bird = a
wood/could = b
rub/tub = c
bash/rash = d
love/dove = e
seek/meek = f
who/woo = g
..making 7 sets of rhyming couplets that end each line along the following basis:
a) word
b) wood
a) bird
b) could
c) rub
d) bash
c) tub
d) rash
e) love
f) meek
e) dove
f) seek
g) who
g) woo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Constructive criticism... ok, then..
A Shakespearean, or English, sonnet consists of 14 lines, each line containing ten syllables and written in iambic pentameter, in which a pattern of an unemphasized syllable followed by an emphasized syllable is repeated five times.
Iambic pentameter is:
da DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM
(each da DUM is one 'foot', the five pairs making five 'feet' in poetry)
The rhyme scheme in a Shakespearean sonnet is:
a-b-a-b,
c-d-c-d,
e-f-e-f,
g-g;
..the last two lines are a rhyming couplet.
(for each letter represented above you would need different words that rhyme, for example:
word/bird = a
wood/could = b
rub/tub = c
bash/rash = d
love/dove = e
seek/meek = f
who/woo = g
..making 7 sets of rhyming couplets that end each line along the following basis:
a) word
b) wood
a) bird
b) could
c) rub
d) bash
c) tub
d) rash
e) love
f) meek
e) dove
f) seek
g) who
g) woo"
dontcha just love that mr google...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"dontcha just love that mr google......"
If you can find that lot on google, word for word, I'll buy you a car of your choosing.
(I used to be a critique editor on a poetry forum, specialising in structure, style and meter) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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hehehe.. well you asked for constructive criticism didn't you?
As for the poem itself, it's cute, amateurish, but cute.
There ya go, thread reopened for people to say 'hey, dont be nasty, its a nice poem'.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"hehehe.. well you asked for constructive criticism didn't you?
As for the poem itself, it's cute, amateurish, but cute.
There ya go, thread reopened for people to say 'hey, dont be nasty, its a nice poem'.
"
have to admit im a bit of a poetry fan meself !! love the cadence of a well written verse ,,but i bow to your superior knowledge and ive already got t the car of my choice .... thanks for the offer tho !! |
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"hehehe.. well you asked for constructive criticism didn't you?
As for the poem itself, it's cute, amateurish, but cute.
There ya go, thread reopened for people to say 'hey, dont be nasty, its a nice poem'.
"
Have to say wishy its thanks to you that jay is still enjoying his poem book and still commenting on it  |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"Riddle me this
riddle me that
i cant get a meet
maybe i am too fat
Ladies get a shock
at the size of my cock
it brings me to tears
i havent seen it in years
Id settle for a fluzy
whos name is suzy
i wont go in a huff
if i could just see her chuff
Dont make me beg
my wangs covered in smeg
it wont be obscene
if you just lick it clean
Ill ride you for hours
wont buy you flowers
youll be begging for more
or more likely just sore
Wont offer you cash
but youll end up with a rash
youll know its not right
when youre scratching all night
Why will noone meet
youd be in for a treat
ill make sure you come first
im a lying bastard
So come suck my dick
but please make it quick
the football is on
its time you were gone.
CONSTUCTIVE CRITISISM ONLY PLEASE"
Riddle me this
Riddle me that
No profile as such,
Don't be a twat,
No information to speak of,
No picture either,
To you my dear fella
You're not much of a pleaser
So take my advice
Do your pofile as you should,
Start with a picture
An up to date one is good
And explain if your married,
Or not sinking sooo low
Cus with 'Can't accommodate,'
Most will think you won't show. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it was fun and who cares about the "usual" rules this is a swingers forum. No one in their right mind writes poetry to fit rules surely? "
Not when you write free verse or blank verse poetry, but when you declare a poem to be a sonnet then to a sonnet's rules it must adhere. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"hehehe.. well you asked for constructive criticism didn't you?
As for the poem itself, it's cute, amateurish, but cute.
There ya go, thread reopened for people to say 'hey, dont be nasty, its a nice poem'.
Have to say wishy its thanks to you that jay is still enjoying his poem book and still commenting on it "
So do I hon, and I've had my copy for jeez... must 15 years now! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The OP didn't specify whether it was a Shakespearian or Petrarchan sonnet ... but as it didn't adhere to either format I'm just being pedantic
I'm sure it was just intended as a bit of fun though and it's certainly that
Sugar x |
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