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DELETED!

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Those who know me will be tired of this rant, but perhaps it is time to throw it wide to a wider audience?

Scenario:

I read a profile, thoroughly. I confirm to most or all of the general requirements. I even meet some of the specific requests. Hell, this profile reads like an advert for me!

I write a thoughtful, concise message, intended to convey the fact that I've read the profile, that I meet the criteria, and that I am an intelligent, safe, humorous guy...

I check my message box, and it's been deleted; WTF is that all about?

Your thoughts....

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By *harpDressed ManMan over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

ZzzZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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By *yber pimpMan over a year ago

durham area

"Those who know me will be tired of this rant, but perhaps it is time to throw it wide to a wider audience?

Scenario:

I read a profile, thoroughly. I confirm to most or all of the general requirements. I even meet some of the specific requests. Hell, this profile reads like an advert for me!

I write a thoughtful, concise message, intended to convey the fact that I've read the profile, that I meet the criteria, and that I am an intelligent, safe, humorous guy...

I check my message box, and it's been deleted; WTF is that all about?

Your thoughts...."

simple relly they not used to articulate educated and knowledgable guys responding to them. concise answer you scared the crap out of them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Obvious isn't it, despite what you thought and despite your attention to detail, after reading your mail they simply thought "thanks but no thanks" and moved on.

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By *histler21Man over a year ago

Ipswich

It happens. Even from people who have winked at me.

I could say: it's nothing personal. But it does feel like it sometimes.

Expect rejection. Then anything else is a gold medal...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"ZzzZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

Laff Out Loud... You're killing me ;P

I guess the real mystery, is why no feedback, to genuine members of the site?

As anyone in product development knows; feedback is the key to successful marketing. Isn't that what we are trying to do on our profiles; market ourselves?

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By *yber pimpMan over a year ago

durham area

"ZzzZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

doesnt that make the forum a welcome place for newbies

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Those who know me will be tired of this rant, but perhaps it is time to throw it wide to a wider audience?

Scenario:

I read a profile, thoroughly. I confirm to most or all of the general requirements. I even meet some of the specific requests. Hell, this profile reads like an advert for me!

I write a thoughtful, concise message, intended to convey the fact that I've read the profile, that I meet the criteria, and that I am an intelligent, safe, humorous guy...

I check my message box, and it's been deleted; WTF is that all about?

Your thoughts...."

Firstly an answer: they didn't like you so they deleted it.

Secondly, the sarcastic responses. Why? Because this is asked virtually every day. Does that mean you shouldn't ask it? No. Does that mean people think you could possible read the forum beforehand? Yes.

Hope that helps

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"ZzzZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

doesnt that make the forum a welcome place for newbies"

What he meant was that, this subject has been brought up time and time again, and if one can be bothered to do a bit of research on the forums, he/she may find the answers already.

The joy of Thursdays, here we go again!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"simple really they not used to articulate educated and knowledgeable guys responding to them. concise answer you scared the crap out of them

Don't think I haven't thunk about that...

I used to think that honesty was the best policy, but that's backfired on me enough times, that I've had to reign in on my idiosyncratic eccentricities, and present myself in a much more approachable light... Except in the forums, it would seem? Doh!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hang around in the forums, and you may find it is a fun place to hang out!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Basically, they/she don't fancy you.

You might meet the checklist criteria but it probably doesn't specify someone with your exact looks and that's been the deciding factor.

As to why they didn't reply to let you know...

...they didn't have to. It's not a requirement for membership here.

I'll give you a tip..

If they read this thread they will feel justified for having turned you down/not replied at all.

It's pushy. People don't like pushy.

Good luck for the future.

Wishy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

"ZzzZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Laff Out Loud... You're killing me ;P

I guess the real mystery, is why no feedback, to genuine members of the site?

As anyone in product development knows; feedback is the key to successful marketing. Isn't that what we are trying to do on our profiles; market ourselves?"

Do you mean feedback from the people that have deleted your messages?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"ZzzZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

doesnt that make the forum a welcome place for newbies

What he meant was that, this subject has been brought up time and time again, and if one can be bothered to do a bit of research on the forums, he/she may find the answers already.

The joy of Thursdays, here we go again!

Oh, so it's original thought you seek?

I'll have a dig around in the archives to see if my own work on the nature of reality, parallels the concepts of a previous poster?

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By *histler21Man over a year ago

Ipswich

What he meant was that, this subject has been brought up time and time again, and if one can be bothered to do a bit of research on the forums, he/she may find the answers already."

A quick search on 'Deleted messages' gives two threads about retrieving deleted messages. Like using Google - it's all about how you phrase the question, and how long you spend trying to find the answer.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Those who know me will be tired of this rant, but perhaps it is time to throw it wide to a wider audience?

Scenario:

I read a profile, thoroughly. I confirm to most or all of the general requirements. I even meet some of the specific requests. Hell, this profile reads like an advert for me!

I write a thoughtful, concise message, intended to convey the fact that I've read the profile, that I meet the criteria, and that I am an intelligent, safe, humorous guy...

I check my message box, and it's been deleted; WTF is that all about?

Your thoughts...."

Well here is a thought. They first looked at your profile and your pictures put them off and they deleted and hoped you don't mail them again.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Rant away if that makes you feel better!

Good luck, as you'll need it!

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Here is what Admin have to say on the subject.

http://www.fabswingers.com/articles/FAQ

There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

It's not rude not to reply.

Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you can safely assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Those who know me will be tired of this rant, but perhaps it is time to throw it wide to a wider audience?

Scenario:

I read a profile, thoroughly. I confirm to most or all of the general requirements. I even meet some of the specific requests. Hell, this profile reads like an advert for me!

I write a thoughtful, concise message, intended to convey the fact that I've read the profile, that I meet the criteria, and that I am an intelligent, safe, humorous guy...

I check my message box, and it's been deleted; WTF is that all about?

Your thoughts...."

Your only have a small Lynx Bottle

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Your only have a small Lynx Bottle "

Or the wrong one!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have to say that I just read your profile, OP, and what I saw was:

"I am turned off by selfishness, attitude ..."

And yet you are being selfish in the assumptive attitude that you have no need to read all those threads and the FAQ about this very subject!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your thoughts....

Your only have a small Lynx Bottle "

Oh you made me laugh so loud, England got out of bed to see if I was alright!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have to say that I just read your profile, OP, and what I saw was:

"I am turned off by selfishness, attitude ..."

And yet you are being selfish in the assumptive attitude that you have no need to read all those threads and the FAQ about this very subject!"

He is being original, remember?!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He is being original, remember?!

Oh.

Sorry.

Consider me spanked.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"ZzzZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

doesnt that make the forum a welcome place for newbies

What he meant was that, this subject has been brought up time and time again, and if one can be bothered to do a bit of research on the forums, he/she may find the answers already.

The joy of Thursdays, here we go again!

Oh, so it's original thought you seek?

I'll have a dig around in the archives to see if my own work on the nature of reality, parallels the concepts of a previous poster?

Have a look around the archives, FAQ etc, but on your return.

do not mention MODERATORS

I really shouldn't have said that lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

contenders... READY! moderators... READY!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"ZzzZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Laff Out Loud... You're killing me ;P

I guess the real mystery, is why no feedback, to genuine members of the site?

As anyone in product development knows; feedback is the key to successful marketing. Isn't that what we are trying to do on our profiles; market ourselves?"

Anyone here in product development please ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"ZzzZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Laff Out Loud... You're killing me ;P

I guess the real mystery, is why no feedback, to genuine members of the site?

As anyone in product development knows; feedback is the key to successful marketing. Isn't that what we are trying to do on our profiles; market ourselves?

Anyone here in product development please ?"

I'm having a wank right now. Does that count?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm having a wank right now. Does that count?

Don't ask for feedback.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have to say that I just read your profile, OP, and what I saw was:

"I am turned off by selfishness, attitude ..."

And yet you are being selfish in the assumptive attitude that you have no need to read all those threads and the FAQ about this very subject!"

Aren't you being selfish and assumptive in your thoughts that I would know that those FAQs and Threads are there? You could have politely pointed me towards them, but instead you've chosen to make fun, and draw attention to the fact that I'm an outsider, in the established clique of the Forum? This is my first evening posting on here, and am making the effort to convey a semblance of my ironic, eccentric personality; without resorting to a fabricated persona. Instead I've been shot down! I'm off to the FAQ, to read up on how to deal with this kind of thing... ;p

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have to say that I just read your profile, OP, and what I saw was:

"I am turned off by selfishness, attitude ..."

And yet you are being selfish in the assumptive attitude that you have no need to read all those threads and the FAQ about this very subject!

Seems more like long words and a passive / aggressive approach, to me, but hey, good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have to say that I just read your profile, OP, and what I saw was:

"I am turned off by selfishness, attitude ..."

And yet you are being selfish in the assumptive attitude that you have no need to read all those threads and the FAQ about this very subject!

Seems more like long words and a passive / aggressive approach, to me, but hey, good luck."

Oh now he's made you an official clique member. Accept gracefully

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have to say that I just read your profile, OP, and what I saw was:

"I am turned off by selfishness, attitude ..."

And yet you are being selfish in the assumptive attitude that you have no need to read all those threads and the FAQ about this very subject!

Well im not in any clique as i only pop on now and again but i realised that using big words to try and give the impression of intellect isn't the right way to fit in. It looks to me as though you have put your self in a position to be shot at. But that's just the impression i get from reading your input so far.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Seems more like long words and a passive / aggressive approach, to me, but hey, good luck."

And what assumptions would you draw from that observation?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oh now he's made you an official clique member. Accept gracefully

Not bad for a recent forum newbie!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Peeps, please remember the key words: ironic and eccentric.

Each to their own, some peeps are just more likable than others, I wonder why!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Being deleted at least you know where you stand. It's the bean read but not deleted or replied that's the killer - they could be thinking if they like you or not - how soon do you send another message trying to enlighten them to your world, coaching them to make their mind up - How many times do you try.

Deleted - sorted - their choice now P off & move on hehe

PMSL

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Those who know me will be tired of this rant, but perhaps it is time to throw it wide to a wider audience?

Scenario:

I read a profile, thoroughly. I confirm to most or all of the general requirements. I even meet some of the specific requests. Hell, this profile reads like an advert for me!

I write a thoughtful, concise message, intended to convey the fact that I've read the profile, that I meet the criteria, and that I am an intelligent, safe, humorous guy...

I check my message box, and it's been deleted; WTF is that all about?

Your thoughts...."

Maybe they are wary of policemen.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Maybe they are wary of policemen. "

Or those in uniforms!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Being deleted at least you know where you stand. It's the bean read but not deleted or replied that's the killer - they could be thinking if they like you or not - how soon do you send another message trying to enlighten them to your world, coaching them to make their mind up - How many times do you try.

Deleted - sorted - their choice now P off & move on hehe

PMSL

Glad to see you are sounding more upbeat!

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By *atisfy janeWoman over a year ago

Torquay

I check my message box, and it's been deleted; WTF is that all about?

Your thoughts...."

My thoughts are you are not what they are looking for......could it be any more obvious?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I check my message box, and it's been deleted; WTF is that all about?

Your thoughts....

My thoughts are you are not what they are looking for......could it be any more obvious?

succinct!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Well im not in any clique as i only pop on now and again but i realised that using big words to try and give the impression of intellect isn't the right way to fit in. It looks to me as though you have put your self in a position to be shot at. But that's just the impression i get from reading your input so far."

I think this statement alone has rung alarm bells for me, as to what's going on here. I don't want you to take the position that I'm attacking you Kenny, but there are some very important statements in your reply, that could otherwise be missed.

'using big words to try and give the impression of intellect isn't the right way to fit in'

I'm not trying to fit in, I'm just trying to be myself. In fact I AM just being myself. Perhaps if I manufactured a personality, that was designed to interact with you guys in an affable manner, that would suit all concerned? I use big words in real life! Sure, you'll be jumping to the conclusion that this is a convenient bit of smoke and mirrors, intended to fool the more gullible onlookers? I'm actually a very thoughtful person, who is aware of the broad range and variety of the English language, and goes to great pains to select the right word for the given context. Sure, the English professors amongst you will pick holes in my sentence structures, but I write in the way that best conveys how I 'feel' about the subject, and not just what I think. This does cause me to use (and mis-use) long, and often archaic words; but this is simply due to my love of the mother tongue ;p

'It looks to me as though you have put your self in a position to be shot at'

Aye, that's a recurring feature, but I don't make anyone shoot me, eh? The decision to shoot me down, for creativity and self expression, is one of the individual concerned...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bed time, night night all!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Now noone could ever accuse me of being the sharpest knife in the draw, but if i sent someone a message and they deleted it i would assume it ment that however much i thought i fitted their criteria i obviously didnt. Maybe its good i have a simple outlook then i dont have to spend my time thinking to deeply as to why someone deleted my message.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Bed time, night night all!

Thanks, Zebedee ;p

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

'using big words to try and give the impression of intellect isn't the right way to fit in'

'It looks to me as though you have put your self in a position to be shot at'

Aye, that's a recurring feature, but I don't make anyone shoot me, eh? The decision to shoot me down, for creativity and self expression, is one of the individual concerned...

So do you go down the pub and talk like that? I wouldn't i fit in with people around me and so does every one ask any psychologist.

In all honesty i think your talking bollocks. Your profile is worded very differently to the way you have posted tonight so which is the manufactured you as they don't match to me. But that's just my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Now noone could ever accuse me of being the sharpest knife in the draw, but if i sent someone a message and they deleted it i would assume it ment that however much i thought i fitted their criteria i obviously didnt. Maybe its good i have a simple outlook then i dont have to spend my time thinking to deeply as to why someone deleted my message.

Can't sleep again?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Can't sleep again?

How did you guess lol, mind you after reading that lot i may just nod off lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can't sleep again?

How did you guess lol, mind you after reading that lot i may just nod off lol"

Hence I am going to bed, night night!

...gone!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Why do you feel the need to constantly use big words? Surely its better to use language that everyone understands the most intelligent people on these forums use everyday language instead of trying to impress

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

That's a fair appraisal of the situation, and there is much to be said for a simplistic approach to things, lol

Granted, this subject is old and tired; but what's even more interesting thing here is how quickly this thread has gone off topic, as the 'White Blood Cells' have kicked into action to repel the foreign body...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do you feel the need to constantly use big words? Surely its better to use language that everyone understands the most intelligent people on these forums use everyday language instead of trying to impress"

That's my point exactly. Its informal here, you chat, have a laugh but even the really bright ones talk on a level every one is at ease with.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Why would you assume I'm trying to impress, and wouldn't it be rude if I was to dumb down so 'normal people' could understand me; isn't that even more condescending?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Those who know me will be tired of this rant, but perhaps it is time to throw it wide to a wider audience?

Scenario:

I read a profile, thoroughly. I confirm to most or all of the general requirements. I even meet some of the specific requests. Hell, this profile reads like an advert for me!

I write a thoughtful, concise message, intended to convey the fact that I've read the profile, that I meet the criteria, and that I am an intelligent, safe, humorous guy...

I check my message box, and it's been deleted; WTF is that all about?

Your thoughts...."

maybe they just didnt fancy you

it happens to all of us

If i mail guys i always read their profiles, make sure im what they are looking for but i dont always get a reply, ive even not had replys from a coupe of guys who had the.....if i mail you its only polite to reply even if its a no thanks..... rant on their profile lol i just put it down to the fact they didnt like my pics

move on to the next victim lmao

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By *atisfy janeWoman over a year ago

Torquay

What baffles me is that you show a degree of intelligence with your use of big words in your posts, yet you seem unable to grasp why someone would delete your message because you so obviously don't appeal to them.

You remind me of a nuclear scientist who doesn't know how to use the toaster in his kitchen........

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"That's my point exactly. Its informal here, you chat, have a laugh but even the really bright ones talk on a level every one is at ease with. "

At ease with? What's that supposed to mean?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why would you assume I'm trying to impress, and wouldn't it be rude if I was to dumb down so 'normal people' could understand me; isn't that even more condescending?

You have been pretty condensing all round looking back. To say "normal people" hints at you feeling superior for a start. There is a book you can buy called "how to win friends and influence people" its a very good read.

Now a clever man would gage the reaction to him and adapt to maximise his potential. There is a lot of wisdom come out of he far east.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What baffles me is that you show a degree of intelligence with your use of big words in your posts, yet you seem unable to grasp why someone would delete your message because you so obviously don't appeal to them.

You remind me of a nuclear scientist who doesn't know how to use the toaster in his kitchen........"

What is this obsession with 'big words'? Is it a taboo? I've looked through the FAQs, but they aren't mentioned anywhere...

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Why would you assume I'm trying to impress, and wouldn't it be rude if I was to dumb down so 'normal people' could understand me; isn't that even more condescending?

Surely one of the signs of true intelligence is to be able to be understood and communicate with all walks of life. You know you use big words, your aware that not everyone is going to understand them, so you are only prepared to want to communicate with a part of society. I guess there is a hell of a lot of difference between being academic and intelligent oh and having common sense

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That's my point exactly. Its informal here, you chat, have a laugh but even the really bright ones talk on a level every one is at ease with.

At ease with? What's that supposed to mean?"

It mean an aggressive stance will make people close up. By your own admission you claim to be an intelligent man, far above the "bone head guys" you look down at. I am sure your well able to understand it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That's my point exactly. Its informal here, you chat, have a laugh but even the really bright ones talk on a level every one is at ease with.

At ease with? What's that supposed to mean?"

actually i can't see anything wrong with your grammar at all 8-?

nothing you have written had made me feel inadequate

some people ate just to tenacious about picking faults with other people hahaha

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

are* lmao damn type

*walks off whistling*

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why would you assume I'm trying to impress, and wouldn't it be rude if I was to dumb down so 'normal people' could understand me; isn't that even more condescending?

Many university students are academic and very clever but socially inept as they have failed to learn social interaction skills. In life this develops into bosses who do not understand people working with and for them. A great shame that is.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Why would you assume I'm trying to impress, and wouldn't it be rude if I was to dumb down so 'normal people' could understand me; isn't that even more condescending?

Exactly, couldnt agree more, to me someone is intelligent if they can stimulate my mind and keep me interested.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You have been pretty condensing all round looking back. To say "normal people" hints at you feeling superior for a start. There is a book you can buy called "how to win friends and influence people" its a very good read.

Now a clever man would gage the reaction to him and adapt to maximise his potential. There is a lot of wisdom come out of he far east. "

I used the term 'normal people' sarcastically, because that's what you guys are insinuating I'm alienating myself from... I don't believe that I can win, in this situation; if I use 'big' words, I'm condescending, if I stop using big words, I'm condescending?

I don't differentiate myself from other people, it's guys like you who highlight my differences from them.

The 'clever' man in your analogy seems more like a crafty, manipulative man, to me? He gauges other peoples reactions, and modifies his behavior to suit; isn't that a principle used by Con-Men?

Sure, I'm a bull in a china shop, granted; but I'm honest. If you don't like me, that's fine; but don't suggest that I've fumbled the ball in some great deception!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why would you assume I'm trying to impress, and wouldn't it be rude if I was to dumb down so 'normal people' could understand me; isn't that even more condescending?

Exactly, couldnt agree more, to me someone is intelligent if they can stimulate my mind and keep me interested."

A man with true wisdom is able to interact with his fellow man on all levels. (or women) And keep their interest and bring colour with words not darkness.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Why would you assume I'm trying to impress, and wouldn't it be rude if I was to dumb down so 'normal people' could understand me; isn't that even more condescending?

Exactly, couldnt agree more, to me someone is intelligent if they can stimulate my mind and keep me interested.

A man with true wisdom is able to interact with his fellow man on all levels. (or women) And keep their interest and bring colour with words not darkness."

You are correct of cause

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Right im sticking my neck out here and will probably get hate mail forever cause of this but.....

i think your all be very unfair to this guy and actually victimizing him for having a level of intelligence above your own (your words not mine)

not once has he been rude to anyone, nor has he criticizes anyone else for their level of intelligence

Im kinda feeling a bit sorry for him to be honest cause hes right he cant win

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Now a clever man would gage the reaction to him and adapt to maximise his potential. There is a lot of wisdom come out of he far east.

I don't differentiate myself from other people, it's guys like you who highlight my differences from them.

The 'clever' man in your analogy seems more like a crafty, manipulative man, to me? He gauges other peoples reactions, and modifies his behavior to suit; isn't that a principle used by Con-Men?

Sure, I'm a bull in a china shop, granted; but I'm honest. If you don't like me, that's fine; but don't suggest that I've fumbled the ball in some great deception!"

Well mr bull, powerful, mafia, man who insinuates people who question him as mafia explain why you look down on "bone head guys" as you put it?

And its not conmen who adapt. You obviously do not understand the concept of human adaptation. A man going to war adapts to his circumstances, a man going to prison does the same as one going to a sporting event.

The wise man adapts, its not hard to understand, millions upon millions do it to fit in. Governments do it. That's why WWIII hasn't happened.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Right im sticking my neck out here and will probably get hate mail forever cause of this but.....

i think your all be very unfair to this guy and actually victimizing him for having a level of intelligence above your own (your words not mine)

not once has he been rude to anyone, nor has he criticizes anyone else for their level of intelligence

Im kinda feeling a bit sorry for him to be honest cause hes right he cant win

Well your entitled to feel sorry for him. I was pointing out to him originally that if he adopted a different stance then the reaction back would have been different. It is not victimising when the op is openly aggressive. In life if you push a crowd one way then they will push back in the opposite direction with an equal force.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A man with true wisdom is able to interact with his fellow man on all levels. (or women) And keep their interest and bring colour with words not darkness."

Where's your weight of evidence that points to the fact that I can't interact with people at all levels?

I work as an engineer, and work with guys from shop floor to boardroom. I need to be able to moderate my behavior, language, and personality to suit these groups. I chat to sharp end guys about fishing, wives and football; and directors about lead times, budgets and solutions. I would argue that I have many 'masks' which I need to carry round with me; in order to perform these roles.

Right at the moment that I'm relaxed, and wanting to be myself, in the comfort of my own keyboard; I'm in-graciously (big word) reminded that I need to wear the mask here as well!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im kinda feeling a bit sorry for him to be honest cause hes right he cant win

And its not about winning that is the big problem with it all. We are not here to win, score points or belittle people we are here to interact with others in a polite manner if possible.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Now a clever man would gage the reaction to him and adapt to maximise his potential. There is a lot of wisdom come out of he far east.

I don't differentiate myself from other people, it's guys like you who highlight my differences from them.

The 'clever' man in your analogy seems more like a crafty, manipulative man, to me? He gauges other peoples reactions, and modifies his behavior to suit; isn't that a principle used by Con-Men?

Sure, I'm a bull in a china shop, granted; but I'm honest. If you don't like me, that's fine; but don't suggest that I've fumbled the ball in some great deception!"

So far I like you. Time will tell. xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Governments do it. That's why WWIII hasn't happened."

Humans adapting to the rise of Socialism in Germany IS why WW2 happened, though....

Maybe sometimes, people should just speak up, and turn against the tide?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Right im sticking my neck out here and will probably get hate mail forever cause of this but.....

i think your all be very unfair to this guy and actually victimizing him for having a level of intelligence above your own (your words not mine)

not once has he been rude to anyone, nor has he criticizes anyone else for their level of intelligence

Im kinda feeling a bit sorry for him to be honest cause hes right he cant win

well im going back to read th thread cause i havnt seen him being openly aggressive, but even if he had can you really blame him with some of the replys hes had

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A man with true wisdom is able to interact with his fellow man on all levels. (or women) And keep their interest and bring colour with words not darkness.

Where's your weight of evidence that points to the fact that I can't interact with people at all levels?

Well your not as you have had a negative effect with a few people here tonight so that proves my point.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im kinda feeling a bit sorry for him to be honest cause hes right he cant win

And its not about winning that is the big problem with it all. We are not here to win, score points or belittle people we are here to interact with others in a polite manner if possible. "

its a figure of speach

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"So far I like you. Time will tell. xx "

I'll put you on the 'short' list then? lol

I have found that time is generally kinder to me, than the moment; so I hold hope ;p

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Right im sticking my neck out here and will probably get hate mail forever cause of this but.....

i think your all be very unfair to this guy and actually victimizing him for having a level of intelligence above your own (your words not mine)

not once has he been rude to anyone, nor has he criticizes anyone else for their level of intelligence

Im kinda feeling a bit sorry for him to be honest cause hes right he cant win

well im going back to read th thread cause i havnt seen him being openly aggressive, but even if he had can you really blame him with some of the replys hes had

In my case i was pushed after giving an opinion asked for. I deemed it was overtly aggressive. We all see things from a different point of view. But that is my opinion and it is different to yours as we are not stood in the same position to witness things.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Ive never said hes above my intelligence but by his choice of words he knows damn well everyone isnt going to understand him.

What i have a problem with is someone who is so obviously above average iq cant work out the fact if someone deletes a message then there not interested.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im kinda feeling a bit sorry for him to be honest cause hes right he cant win

And its not about winning that is the big problem with it all. We are not here to win, score points or belittle people we are here to interact with others in a polite manner if possible.

its a figure of speach

The problem is some don't see it as a figure of speech they see it as a way to impose and dominate. Man alas is not passive by nature its a trait that has to learn.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Im kinda feeling a bit sorry for him to be honest cause hes right he cant win

And its not about winning that is the big problem with it all. We are not here to win, score points or belittle people we are here to interact with others in a polite manner if possible.

Interesting... Attack the 'Usurper' (big word) but also decry (big small word) those who show any support... Classic bullying tactics; used to great effect by dictatorships....

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Has anyone considered Devils Advocacy?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Ive never said hes above my intelligence but by his choice of words he knows damn well everyone isnt going to understand him.

What i have a problem with is someone who is so obviously above average iq cant work out the fact if someone deletes a message then there not interested. "

No offense, but this thread has got nothing to do with deleted messages, regardless of where it traces it's roots back to

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Has anyone considered Devils Advocacy?

Be my guest...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Governments do it. That's why WWIII hasn't happened.

Humans adapting to the rise of Socialism in Germany IS why WW2 happened, though....

Maybe sometimes, people should just speak up, and turn against the tide?"

You appear to be a person who will try and call black is white just to prove a point.

You have made it clear you do not wish to adapt to people so far. I will choose not to interact with you any further on this point tonight.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Has anyone considered Devils Advocacy?

Be my guest...

I don't need or seek your permission. Shorty.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im kinda feeling a bit sorry for him to be honest cause hes right he cant win

And its not about winning that is the big problem with it all. We are not here to win, score points or belittle people we are here to interact with others in a polite manner if possible.

its a figure of speach

The problem is some don't see it as a figure of speech they see it as a way to impose and dominate. Man alas is not passive by nature its a trait that has to learn."

Impose and domiate

blimey can tell you dont know me im far to lazy for that lmao

P.S what does trait mean? hehehe

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Has anyone considered Devils Advocacy?

Be my guest...

I don't need or seek your permission. Shorty. "

I wasn't giving you permission, just offering you the position... ;p

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Has anyone considered Devils Advocacy?

Be my guest...

I don't need or seek your permission. Shorty.

I wasn't giving you permission, just offering you the position... ;p"

I'm overqualified. I was offering stragglers a get out concept.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Has anyone considered Devils Advocacy?

Be my guest...

I don't need or seek your permission. Shorty.

I wasn't giving you permission, just offering you the position... ;p

I'm overqualified. I was offering stragglers a get out concept. "

I think I like you too...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It has more than a touch of the John Wayne Gacy about it

only slightly over the top there

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By *heWolfMan over a year ago

warwickshire

"It has more than a touch of the John Wayne Gacy about it

only slightly over the top there

Naaah, you know as well as I do that there are more than a handful of people who read that name and will be thinking of Rooster Cogburn. Bless 'em.

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By *adchickCouple over a year ago

Cyprus

No picture

Can't accommodate

Oh dear!

**From an over educated ex student**

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Well for my input you look as though your trying to come on here and play the big man. Why you have to say your big and work with your hands is beyond me if your trying to play it down. There are bigger and more intimidating than you on here who get ass with no problems.

The picture some have pointed out. Well you know what it looks like you have eyes. Its an interesting tact you have gone down but i don't buy it and really dont care if i am honest because if we met in a pub you would be very different that i am sure of."

Playing it down? I'm just acknowledging that the previous poster made some accurate observations...

Playing the Big man? How so? I haven't threatened anyone... If you mean by application of intelligence, then what has frame got to do with that?

I'd be different if you met me in the pub? Are you threatening me? Now who's the Big man...?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"No picture

Can't accommodate

Oh dear!

**From an over educated ex student**"

Have two pictures, now only available to friends, as they are 'intimidating', and could be used as offensive weapons, Laff out loud....

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By *b430Man over a year ago

Tayside

"Those who know me will be tired of this rant, but perhaps it is time to throw it wide to a wider audience?

Scenario:

I read a profile, thoroughly. I confirm to most or all of the general requirements. I even meet some of the specific requests. Hell, this profile reads like an advert for me!

I write a thoughtful, concise message, intended to convey the fact that I've read the profile, that I meet the criteria, and that I am an intelligent, safe, humorous guy...

I check my message box, and it's been deleted; WTF is that all about?

Your thoughts...."

Back to the original question ....... "I check my message box, and it's been deleted; WTF is that all about?"

Answer :-

They pushed the "delete" button that is at the bottom of every unsolicited (big word

) mail that is sent out on here every day! - Easy Peasy to work out really!

PS - It probably means they are not interested in meeting you!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"They pushed the "delete" button that is at the bottom of every unsolicited (big word

) mail that is sent out on here every day! - Easy Peasy to work out really!

PS - It probably means they are not interested in meeting you!

Thanks, Just when I thought that everyone on here has an aggressive agenda; you come along and prove that some people just want to take the piss and have a laugh... Keep it up :D

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Playing it down? I'm just acknowledging that the previous poster made some accurate observations...

Playing the Big man? How so? I haven't threatened anyone... If you mean by application of intelligence, then what has frame got to do with that?

I'd be different if you met me in the pub? Are you threatening me? Now who's the Big man...?"

God you would pick a fight in a phone box ! At least you have changed your profile so you realised it wasn't positive.

Never mentioned intelligence so you can turn your neck in on that one. But as its brought up you dont come across as being a mensa candidate.

Big wise your not really as you say your self a bit of flab but working with your hands doesn't always mean fit as any cafe owner will tell you.

No i am not threatening just saying it how it is. Your a talker its obvious a pc warrior but they are never the same in person and you would be different but if you think you would be different pop up i am not that far away.

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By *b430Man over a year ago

Tayside

[Removed by poster at 26/08/10 03:11:19]

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

God you would pick a fight in a phone box ! At least you have changed your profile so you realised it wasn't positive.

Never mentioned intelligence so you can turn your neck in on that one. But as its brought up you dont come across as being a mensa candidate.

Big wise your not really as you say your self a bit of flab but working with your hands doesn't always mean fit as any cafe owner will tell you.

Now, I wouldn't say that I pick fights, but that I will always fight my corner? I'm pretty used to this, as I tend to be mistaken for 'aggressive' when taken out of the context of a proper conversation.

I have changed my profile, and I will keep on changing my profile until I get it right

I appreciate the fact that you've noticed...

I'm not fit anymore; driving around the country has put paid to that! lol

I think the main difference, if you met me in person, would be the delivery. On here it's open to interpretation, and obviously is! In person, I can express my self properly, but the words and the ideas are just the same...

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By *b430Man over a year ago

Tayside

"They pushed the "delete" button that is at the bottom of every unsolicited (big word

) mail that is sent out on here every day! - Easy Peasy to work out really!

PS - It probably means they are not interested in meeting you!

Thanks, Just when I thought that everyone on here has an aggressive agenda; you come along and prove that some people just want to take the piss and have a laugh... Keep it up :D"

*Spelling mistake in last version*

I wasn't taking the piss I was giving you an honest answer to an honest question!

If I wanted to take the piss I would have said it was "The Lynz Affect" that made them delete the message straight away!

- For those that missed the now "friends only" pic; a can of Lynz deodorant was used to show his size and I am not meaning height wise!

PS - I can see why some are seeing your replies as "aggresive" when like me they started off by giving you an answer to your question but you then came back to attack them for giving you an answer you didn't like to hear!

PPS - I really don't care if you didn't like my honest original answer but it is the truth though, albeit it was said in a joking fashion to try and cool this thread down a bit!

Everyone has the right to delete any message they want to for whatever reason they choose to and don't have to justify their OWN choices to anyone else!

As always, the above is my own opinion and I am sticking to it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

God you would pick a fight in a phone box ! At least you have changed your profile so you realised it wasn't positive.

Never mentioned intelligence so you can turn your neck in on that one. But as its brought up you dont come across as being a mensa candidate.

Big wise your not really as you say your self a bit of flab but working with your hands doesn't always mean fit as any cafe owner will tell you.

Now, I wouldn't say that I pick fights, but that I will always fight my corner? I'm pretty used to this, as I tend to be mistaken for 'aggressive'

You already know this and still try come the tough guy? Your never too old to learn but you have to want to.

I would like to know how your say on your profile you well educated but put on this thread you missed out on education? Which is the truth?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

People are ALWAYS different with me in person, its a given.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

BB430

I was actually welcoming you as reasonable person, with a light hearted answer! Jeez, no wonder I'm 'scrapping' with everyone if you think I'm attacking you! lol

You will note that KungFuKenny tried to get me on the ropes, after I replied to his post, with the words 'I'm not attacking your position'...

Can everyone just get this clear, I'm not attacking them! I'm just responding to comments made about me, all of which originate from people attacking me!

I started this thread by talking about a tired subject; Guilty!

I'm not the kind of guy to just sit back and let people have a go at me; Guilty!

Agressive? Good grief

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I would like to know how your say on your profile you well educated but put on this thread you missed out on education? Which is the truth?"

At risk of playing the tough guy, and starting a fight

define an education? Schools, colleges and universities give you qualifications, but it's exposure to information that gives you an education? What can I say, I read alot, and I have alot of questions about stuff; so I read alot, lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would like to know how your say on your profile you well educated but put on this thread you missed out on education? Which is the truth?

At risk of playing the tough guy, and starting a fight

Reading a lot is classed as well read. Well educated is someone who has a full education but you state on this thread you missed out. Your profile says well educated but also says you are honest. I was just wondering about the anomaly.

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By *b430Man over a year ago

Tayside

"BB430

I was actually welcoming you as reasonable person, with a light hearted answer! Jeez, no wonder I'm 'scrapping' with everyone if you think I'm attacking you! lol

You will note that KungFuKenny tried to get me on the ropes, after I replied to his post, with the words 'I'm not attacking your position'...

Can everyone just get this clear, I'm not attacking them! I'm just responding to comments made about me, all of which originate from people attacking me!

I started this thread by talking about a tired subject; Guilty!

I'm not the kind of guy to just sit back and let people have a go at me; Guilty!

Agressive? Good grief"

Using the phrase "taking the piss" isn't usually seen as a welcoming statement to use though. Banter, joking, having a laugh, etc, etc might have felt more welcoming; to me anyway.

Anyway, I stick to my original answer that it is easy to work out that if they delete your message then you can take it they are not interested in meeting you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Using the phrase "taking the piss" isn't usually seen as a welcoming statement to use though. Banter, joking, having a laugh, etc, etc might have felt more welcoming; to me anyway.

Anyway, I stick to my original answer that it is easy to work out that if they delete your message then you can take it they are not interested in meeting you.

Lol, Noted

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well i am not going to push the point. Its an interesting slant and way of introducing your self to the forum users. Some have taken issue with things and some not and i am sure you have not been affected by the reaction. If you adopt this style regularly i will endeavour to use the forums more as they will be a little warm and rather interesting. On that its time to go home.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I would like to know how your say on your profile you well educated but put on this thread you missed out on education? Which is the truth?

At risk of playing the tough guy, and starting a fight

I see what you're saying, and I guess it depends on your stand point? I do have technical qualifications in Mechanical, Electrical and Electronic Engineering; do they count as towards educated status?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Adopt this style? lol, this is my 'style'...

I guess you're stuck with me?

Nite

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No picture

Can't accommodate

Oh dear!

**From an over educated ex student**"

he did have pics, hes probably taken them off because people was making personal comments about them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Right im sticking my neck out here and will probably get hate mail forever cause of this but.....

i think your all be very unfair to this guy and actually victimizing him for having a level of intelligence above your own (your words not mine)

not once has he been rude to anyone, nor has he criticizes anyone else for their level of intelligence

Im kinda feeling a bit sorry for him to be honest cause hes right he cant win

I'm not apologising for agreeing with you.

Having read previous posts by the OP I admit this thread surprised me and the analogy given by Jane is apt.

However, some of the comments posted here have been down right nasty. Not all of us are so desperate to be liked we ingratiate ourselves to all, try to be all things to everyone and "dumb down" to "fit in".

Swinging for some of us is social as well as sexual. How many of you have posted in the past you seek people you can communicate with.

The OP is writing how he speaks. If he doesn't appeal you're making it easier for him to sort the wheat from the chaffe.

I think it sad someone is derided for using "big word" yet there is a thread running where people are defending the use of text speak!

Nowt as queer as folk!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im kinda feeling a bit sorry for him to be honest cause hes right he cant win

And its not about winning that is the big problem with it all. We are not here to win, score points or belittle people we are here to interact with others in a polite manner if possible. "

Here's a word for you: "ironic!"

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By *harpDressed ManMan over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"ZzzZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

doesnt that make the forum a welcome place for newbies"

Having perused the remainder of the thread, I'd say that in relative terms the response to your enquiry would be in the affirmative!

I used to take great delight in constructing extended sentences, inserting unnecessary clauses with the sole intention of inserting obscure synonyms, often targetting those that maximised alliterative potential, and generally showing off what I perceived as my enhanced communicative abilities.

Then I realised...if I'm not understood, then I'm not communicating.

So I've tried to adapt. I have a Polish friend, and talking to her always helps with this - I find myself talking much more plain English because I want to help her understand my point.

Final point....as the thread progressed, OP went from not knowing there was an FAQ, to having read it. Job done.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's easy for you to say.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are plenty people here who are well-educated who manage to retain their individuality without coming across as being patronising, or feel the need to contantly remind people how great they are blah blah blah.

Having a thick skin helps, and a stock of ready-to-wear flame proof suits!

It helps to be a bit humble from time to time!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"ZzzZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

doesnt that make the forum a welcome place for newbies

Having perused the remainder of the thread, I'd say that in relative terms the response to your enquiry would be in the affirmative!

Then I realised...if I'm not understood, then I'm not communicating.

So I've tried to adapt. I have a Polish friend, and talking to her always helps with this - I find myself talking much more plain English because I want to help her understand my point.

Final point....as the thread progressed, OP went from not knowing there was an FAQ, to having read it. Job done. "

You can talk!

IMHO, the whole thing kicked off because your first post in this thread wound him up, then you disappeared, presumably went to bed!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For us you would get deleted before the message was read simply to having no picture.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"For us you would get deleted before the message was read simply to having no picture.

He did have a picture of himself wearing some sort of uniform with his arms crossed to start with.

I believe he took the advice of the need to have a more "friendly" pic.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The wisest of men know that sometimes, instead of using all the words in the dictionary to get their message across, it is wiser to use little or none at all.

You come across as intelligent, certainly, but belligerent also. You've evaded the answers to the question you asked in your OP and spent most of your first evening on here rallying to your own defence when attacked for using complex sentences (somewhat unneccessarily in my opinion).

You've endeared yourself to probably very few people on here and, I strongly suspect, the person you initially messaged, whom this is all about.

I guess I could sum it up in one sentence instead of several thousand:

Nobody likes a smart arse.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I guess I could sum it up in one sentence instead of several thousand:

Nobody likes a smart arse."

Come on now, pot, kettle, no?!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I guess I could sum it up in one sentence instead of several thousand:

Nobody likes a smart arse.

Come on now, pot, kettle, no?!

Is our love affair over now?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I guess I could sum it up in one sentence instead of several thousand:

Nobody likes a smart arse.

Come on now, pot, kettle, no?!

Is our love affair over now?

Did we have one, or was it all in your head???!!! PMSL!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I guess I could sum it up in one sentence instead of several thousand:

Nobody likes a smart arse.

Come on now, pot, kettle, no?!

Is our love affair over now?

Did we have one, or was it all in your head???!!! PMSL!!!

muhaahaaahaaaa! You should step into my mind for a moment, you'd jump right back out of it again!

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Those who know me will be tired of this rant, but perhaps it is time to throw it wide to a wider audience?

Scenario:

I read a profile, thoroughly. I confirm to most or all of the general requirements. I even meet some of the specific requests. Hell, this profile reads like an advert for me!

I write a thoughtful, concise message, intended to convey the fact that I've read the profile, that I meet the criteria, and that I am an intelligent, safe, humorous guy...

I check my message box, and it's been deleted; WTF is that all about?

Your thoughts...."

move on..... simple as that.....

the fact that it is in the FAQ probably means its been asked more than once..... (actually why has thursday become the day of whinge? strange that....)

from what I read no one attacked you....

move on...... such is life

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Wow, I know the subject is old hat and we all get pissed off with seeing it every five minutes but is there really isn't any need for all the nasty posts I have removed.

Funnily enough lately the " people keep deleting my mails " threads are not just started by the single males, but there is always a totally different response anyone else starting them.

Think it is time to shut it down.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

Reading this has made me sad,I have often said that its sometimes the first response to a thread that will dictate the mood

Deep thought,Ok so maybe you asked what forum regulars know is a frequently asked question,you wer'nt to know,the FAQS on this site are hidden at the bottom of the page

The search function for forum subjects is basically crap as thread titles somtimes have no bearing to thread content

I don't think you deserved a lot of what was said to you last night,you did'nt ask for a personal critique of how you look or how your profile was written and why people feel the need to do that is beyond me

Try not to let it put you off posting,stick around you may just enjoy it..........but after reading some of this thread I would'nt blame you if you did'nt

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