FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Disappointment
Disappointment
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have been on this site for a few months, in the last few weeks I have been reading lots of the threads be they old or new. I have commented on a few.
Unfortunately I admit to being a little nervous about posting due to the way some people respond and participate in a sarcastic and bitter way.
I have used forums many times and have never before been nervous to do so, and am saddened by the way some people feel the need to belittle others who have opposing opinions (not yet to myself but I am sure it will happen)
I am not surprised that in the last few weeks I have seen very little in the way of new names on posts within the forums, it makes the forum appear quite unwelcoming.
I am sure that this is not anyones intention and it may be that I am the only relatively new person who feels this.
It is disappointing and disheartening and although I intend to continue reading the forums it makes me think twice before commenting on a thread.
I am sure my post will be shot down and am not entirely sure why I am doing it but then just felt I had to get it off my chest.
I am now getting off my soap box and going to make a cuppa.
Have a good evening everyone.
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Well i hope you will join in the forums and dont feel that everyone is like that. There are one or two on here that i feel just cant help their nasty,sarcy snide remarks. On the whole i tend to just ignore them |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i think u should just stay on ur soap box as it is so true  "
Was begining to feel alone in the world and that I might actually be going mad and developing a complex. I am glad that it's not so. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well i hope you will join in the forums and dont feel that everyone is like that. There are one or two on here that i feel just cant help their nasty,sarcy snide remarks. On the whole i tend to just ignore them"
I will try and join in but will be very careful about how I respond |
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Don't be nervous about posting - and i say that as one who freely admits to being critical.
If you want to make a post about something then do.
And if it's a good post about something interesting you'll get a response, maybe a lot.
Some people will agree with you, and some will disagree with you. That's okay, because life is like that.
But if i may make a suggestion?
Try posting a few things which are 'light hearted' or 'topical' first.
Kind of get a feel for how it works and where threads go etc.
But don't post 'my dog had a hard-on so i wanked it off, does this make me a sick pervert?' or 'wy do peeepl tel me am thik' and expect to get much, if any sympathy.
Let others start the controversial threads, and don't get involved if you don't want to - you can log 'off' as well as 'on' you know.
And you might be surprised who sides WITH you...
...white no sugar for my tea. Pet.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In all honesty it took me about 3 months to feel comfortable on here and it wasn't until I realised that I was the only one stopping me from expressing my opinions and joining in that I finally relaxed.
Now I just post what I want, within the rules of course, and if anyone has a problem with that then that's exactly what it is. THEIR problem  |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
Speaking as a sarcastic mischevious argumentative stroppy git....
I thought OP had been around longer than that and seemed to be getting stuck in and giving as good as she got.
Which just goes to show that I'm not as perceptive as I thought I was.
.
.
.
The thing about these forums, is that we each take turns to write something that may or may not be twaddle.
Either way, somebody somewhere will think it is and say so.
Sooner or later, everyone says something that is twaddle, so we all get a turn pointing out the flaws in each others characters.
Then we have sex.
It's not perfect, but it works!
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
Anyone who is scared of posting or thinks it's all sarcasm and hijacking should come to the Beach Party which most of the regulars are attending.
You'll soon find out that they aren't clicky or idiots........
They are just all fricking barmy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
Its like real life in here,some people you will like some you won't
I took a while reading through and checking out the different personalities before posting and did just join in with the lighthearted and jokey threads at first
Everyone has a right to post in here as long as its within the rules so you should'nt let anyone put you off it can be lots of fun xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Jump/dive in, and sod the others I'd say!
Everyone is entitled to his/her own opinions.
Having a bit of a thick skin certainly helps.
OK, there are a few people's whose posts I can't be arsed to read anymore.
However, by and large, spending time in the forums is still one of my favourite waste of time.
Long live FAB and its forums!
And a big thank you to the site admins and mods for keeping this place a nice place to hang out! |
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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
"Speaking as a sarcastic mischevious argumentative stroppy git....
I thought OP had been around longer than that and seemed to be getting stuck in and giving as good as she got.
Which just goes to show that I'm not as perceptive as I thought I was.
.
.
.
The thing about these forums, is that we each take turns to write something that may or may not be twaddle.
Either way, somebody somewhere will think it is and say so.
Sooner or later, everyone says something that is twaddle, so we all get a turn pointing out the flaws in each others characters.
Then we have sex.
It's not perfect, but it works!
"
ffs theres sex as well.which thread.  |
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I have felt very much the same...and have started to come out of my shell a bit..still hang back on a lot of topics as they get heated, as I am not good verbally when confronted and have trouble getting my point across...but I am trying  |
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"Anyone who is scared of posting or thinks it's all sarcasm and hijacking should come to the Beach Party which most of the regulars are attending.
You'll soon find out that they aren't clicky or idiots........
They are just all fricking barmy "
Hi! Not seen you for ages! Sorry - not hijacking! Z |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"Anyone who is scared of posting or thinks it's all sarcasm and hijacking should come to the Beach Party which most of the regulars are attending.
You'll soon find out that they aren't clicky or idiots........
They are just all fricking barmy
Hi! Not seen you for ages! Sorry - not hijacking! Z"
I was meant to be in retirement for a year......
See what happens when you all your friends are swingers!!!
Chaos |
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"Speaking as a sarcastic mischevious argumentative stroppy git....
I thought OP had been around longer than that and seemed to be getting stuck in and giving as good as she got.
Which just goes to show that I'm not as perceptive as I thought I was.
.
.
.
The thing about these forums, is that we each take turns to write something that may or may not be twaddle.
Either way, somebody somewhere will think it is and say so.
Sooner or later, everyone says something that is twaddle, so we all get a turn pointing out the flaws in each others characters.
Then we have sex.
It's not perfect, but it works!
ffs theres sex as well.which thread. "
NO, theres no sex. That was a typo, move on! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Speaking as a sarcastic mischevious argumentative stroppy git....
I thought OP had been around longer than that and seemed to be getting stuck in and giving as good as she got.
Which just goes to show that I'm not as perceptive as I thought I was.
.
.
.
The thing about these forums, is that we each take turns to write something that may or may not be twaddle.
Either way, somebody somewhere will think it is and say so.
Sooner or later, everyone says something that is twaddle, so we all get a turn pointing out the flaws in each others characters.
Then we have sex.
It's not perfect, but it works!
"
Have been posting for about 4 weeks and in the last couple of days have answered a couple of posts in a manner that i am not used to as I was feeling a tad cross.
I didn't like the way I responded and this has also led to my feeling of disappointment that I went down to that level. Hence the reason for my OP. |
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"Anyone who is scared of posting or thinks it's all sarcasm and hijacking should come to the Beach Party which most of the regulars are attending.
You'll soon find out that they aren't clicky or idiots........
They are just all fricking barmy
Hi! Not seen you for ages! Sorry - not hijacking! Z
I was meant to be in retirement for a year......
See what happens when you all your friends are swingers!!!
Chaos "
Aw sorry - back to normal now! Z |
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just ignore the people you dont agree with, such as in life lol
my first ever post got shot down in 2 repsonses 
but i just thought 'ah fuck em' and persisted in posting and replying etc
i am now addicted to the forums and very much looking forward to putting names to the various body parts at the beach party |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"Anyone who is scared of posting or thinks it's all sarcasm and hijacking should come to the Beach Party which most of the regulars are attending.
You'll soon find out that they aren't clicky or idiots........
They are just all fricking barmy
Hi! Not seen you for ages! Sorry - not hijacking! Z
I was meant to be in retirement for a year......
See what happens when you all your friends are swingers!!!
Chaos
Aw sorry - back to normal now! Z"
normal? whats normal?
Mind you, I intend to have sex at the Beach Party..... something which doesn't normally happen as I'm always running around after you lot........!
Form an orderly queue here please, I want to be walking like John Wayne on the Monday!
**Must find outfit** |
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well I've been lurking round these forums for about 18months now....sometime I post, sometimes I don't.
I'm not a lover of the sarky response people...however, since getting myself to a few of the socials and meeting quite a few of the regular forumites....many of them are quite different in the flesh (so to speak ).....and although I still choose to avoid contentious threads (unless I really feel strongly about something)....I have to say...I do regard some peoples mode of posting in a different way since meeting them.
The forums are here for all...post...don't post...do what you feel comfortable with |
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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
"Speaking as a sarcastic mischevious argumentative stroppy git....
I thought OP had been around longer than that and seemed to be getting stuck in and giving as good as she got.
Which just goes to show that I'm not as perceptive as I thought I was.
.
.
.
The thing about these forums, is that we each take turns to write something that may or may not be twaddle.
Either way, somebody somewhere will think it is and say so.
Sooner or later, everyone says something that is twaddle, so we all get a turn pointing out the flaws in each others characters.
Then we have sex.
It's not perfect, but it works!
ffs theres sex as well.which thread.
NO, theres no sex. That was a typo, move on!"
another disapointment.on the disapointment thread. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In all honesty it took me about 3 months to feel comfortable on here and it wasn't until I realised that I was the only one stopping me from expressing my opinions and joining in that I finally relaxed.
Now I just post what I want, within the rules of course, and if anyone has a problem with that then that's exactly what it is. THEIR problem "
Couldn't agree more! |
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By *ig badMan
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
"I have been on this site for a few months, in the last few weeks I have been reading lots of the threads be they old or new. I have commented on a few.
Unfortunately I admit to being a little nervous about posting due to the way some people respond and participate in a sarcastic and bitter way.
I have used forums many times and have never before been nervous to do so, and am saddened by the way some people feel the need to belittle others who have opposing opinions (not yet to myself but I am sure it will happen)
I am not surprised that in the last few weeks I have seen very little in the way of new names on posts within the forums, it makes the forum appear quite unwelcoming.
I am sure that this is not anyone's intention and it may be that I am the only relatively new person who feels this.
It is disappointing and disheartening and although I intend to continue reading the forums it makes me think twice before commenting on a thread.
I am sure my post will be shot down and am not entirely sure why I am doing it but then just felt I had to get it off my chest.
I am now getting off my soap box and going to make a cuppa.
Have a good evening everyone.
"
An interesting viewpoint but in all honesty its a a little off the mark.
For a start you wont get the general public popping on this site as its a small niche area with only a small percentage of people swinging. So your not going to get 10 new posters a day. In general most on fab are here to get meets.
Secondly the forums have changed over the last year. Many have left and many new ones join. In general though you get a higher than average percentage of regular users on here. The fact that many go to the social events reinforces them as friends and more than a picture on a forum.
New posters, well over the last 2-3 months i personally think we have had a few. People come in small waves though not at a steady rate though.
I assume your trying to make the point that sometimes they aren't very welcoming at times. That is true i would agree but you will always find a few on here who involve new people if they are jovial, friendly and don't come bearing teeth.
Say hello when you have had your cuppa |
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By *ig badMan
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
"Are there rules, written down somewhere, for the forums?"
There are some some place but they are not as obvious as on some sites. If in doubt ask rugby as she is the fountain of all knowledge on here. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Are there rules, written down somewhere, for the forums?"
Don't badmouth other members or "name and shame": If you have a problem with another member, block them and leave feedback using "Report Profile" link on their profile
Don't post phone numbers
Do not use the forum to try and contact people who have BLOCKED you
Don't promote commercial services or websites: Anyone spamming the forums will be removed from the site
Admin don't use a set of exhaustive rules, they rely on common sense and decency of the adults on the site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
Everytime you make a post there is a list of site rules above it
Of course these can be interpreted differently but is usually common sense that works in here |
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By *ig badMan
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
"Are there rules, written down somewhere, for the forums?
Don't badmouth other members or "name and shame": If you have a problem with another member, block them and leave feedback using "Report Profile" link on their profile
Don't post phone numbers
Do not use the forum to try and contact people who have BLOCKED you
Don't promote commercial services or websites: Anyone spamming the forums will be removed from the site
Admin don't use a set of exhaustive rules, they rely on common sense and decency of the adults on the site."
So i can't advertise my up and coming discount booze warehouse with its buy one get one free offer this weekend then??
Bugger!!!!! |
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By *ig badMan
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
"Everytime you make a post there is a list of site rules above it
Of course these can be interpreted differently but is usually common sense that works in here"
Bloody hell it does as well. I never noticed that in all this time! |
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hi purplejin please dont let the odd one or two rude coments put you off useing this forum some realy nice couples on here as only just been useing this myself but there are some very funny comments on here along with the stupid ones and idiot ones i like READING THEM ALL makes me laff on what some people put on here. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Are there rules, written down somewhere, for the forums?
Don't badmouth other members or "name and shame": If you have a problem with another member, block them and leave feedback using "Report Profile" link on their profile
Don't post phone numbers
Do not use the forum to try and contact people who have BLOCKED you
Don't promote commercial services or websites: Anyone spamming the forums will be removed from the site
Admin don't use a set of exhaustive rules, they rely on common sense and decency of the adults on the site.
So i can't advertise my up and coming discount booze warehouse with its buy one get one free offer this weekend then??
Bugger!!!!!"
Depends on what the perk for Admin is |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"Everytime you make a post there is a list of site rules above it
Of course these can be interpreted differently but is usually common sense that works in here
Bloody hell it does as well. I never noticed that in all this time! "
Its ok BB I only put them up 5 mins ago |
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By *ig badMan
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
"Everytime you make a post there is a list of site rules above it
Of course these can be interpreted differently but is usually common sense that works in here
Bloody hell it does as well. I never noticed that in all this time!
Its ok BB I only put them up 5 mins ago"
So its only been up 5 mins? I can honestly say i have not really noticed it before. |
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By *ig badMan
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
"Are there rules, written down somewhere, for the forums?
Don't badmouth other members or "name and shame": If you have a problem with another member, block them and leave feedback using "Report Profile" link on their profile
Don't post phone numbers
Do not use the forum to try and contact people who have BLOCKED you
Don't promote commercial services or websites: Anyone spamming the forums will be removed from the site
Admin don't use a set of exhaustive rules, they rely on common sense and decency of the adults on the site.
So i can't advertise my up and coming discount booze warehouse with its buy one get one free offer this weekend then??
Bugger!!!!!
Depends on what the perk for Admin is "
Babycham surprise! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"Everytime you make a post there is a list of site rules above it
Of course these can be interpreted differently but is usually common sense that works in here
Bloody hell it does as well. I never noticed that in all this time!
Its ok BB I only put them up 5 mins ago
So its only been up 5 mins? I can honestly say i have not really noticed it before. "
Im messing with you,its been there forever  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"Are there rules, written down somewhere, for the forums?
Don't badmouth other members or "name and shame": If you have a problem with another member, block them and leave feedback using "Report Profile" link on their profile
Don't post phone numbers
Do not use the forum to try and contact people who have BLOCKED you
Don't promote commercial services or websites: Anyone spamming the forums will be removed from the site
Admin don't use a set of exhaustive rules, they rely on common sense and decency of the adults on the site.
So i can't advertise my up and coming discount booze warehouse with its buy one get one free offer this weekend then??
Bugger!!!!!
Depends on what the perk for Admin is
Babycham surprise! "
Sod the babycham Ill just have the surprise |
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By *ig badMan
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
"Well I could lend Admin the glasses, I have six of them in a box.........but........i still don't fancy your chances. Are Yorkshiremen normally so tight then? "
Naaa we are generous to a fault. We will share a pint of pale ale with anyone |
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"Do they still sell Babycham?
Skinflint you are, I reckon Admin will say no to that !! "
was on offer in morissons tuther month
...oh and to the OP...keep posting whatever you feel like...don't matter what others think, they'll let you know by the number of replies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I assume your trying to make the point that sometimes they aren't very welcoming at times. That is true i would agree but you will always find a few on here who involve new people if they are jovial, friendly and don't come bearing teeth.
Say hello when you have had your cuppa "
That is so accurate. A newbie cannot enter an established community and start 'baring his or her teeth', as BigBad put it, as soon as they arrive.
You can liken it to an established circle of friends who have met up in a public place and an unknown outsider attempts to join them but instead of saying, "Hi, do you mind if I join you?", they come out with, "Oi fuckfaces, what's the crack?"
They'll soon get told where to go, and this is just the same.
I've noticed quite a few new forumites arrive in the two years I've been here who have treaded water lightly for a while, waited until they've understood the person they are answering a little better and then joined in fully. And been accepted as part of the crowd.
We take the piss out of each other, sure, and to some it may seem sarcastic, rude or outright horrible even, but we know the people we're taking the piss out of, and expect it in return. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I didn't like the way I responded and this has also led to my feeling of disappointment that I went down to that level. Hence the reason for my OP."
feel exactly the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We take the piss out of each other, sure, and to some it may seem sarcastic, rude or outright horrible even, but we know the people we're taking the piss out of, and expect it in return."
Not always the case at all!!
I have skin as thick as rhino hide and as water resiliant as any duck, and I've often not commented further on some posts because of the rudeness by people I don't know.
Hardly surprising some people find these forums unfriendly, I do at times, no escaping that, no matter how you may try to pretty it up! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We take the piss out of each other, sure, and to some it may seem sarcastic, rude or outright horrible even, but we know the people we're taking the piss out of, and expect it in return.
Not always the case at all!!
I have skin as thick as rhino hide and as water resiliant as any duck, and I've often not commented further on some posts because of the rudeness by people I don't know.
Hardly surprising some people find these forums unfriendly, I do at times, no escaping that, no matter how you may try to pretty it up! "
I think Wishy was only saying that the forums reflect the different personalities and varying views that you get in "real life" encounters, and have to say I agree with his comment, just as much as I can see where Sassy is coming from too.
So, OP come and sit on the fence with me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We take the piss out of each other, sure, and to some it may seem sarcastic, rude or outright horrible even, but we know the people we're taking the piss out of, and expect it in return.
Not always the case at all!!
I have skin as thick as rhino hide and as water resiliant as any duck, and I've often not commented further on some posts because of the rudeness by people I don't know.
Hardly surprising some people find these forums unfriendly, I do at times, no escaping that, no matter how you may try to pretty it up! "
I would agree that some are not very friendly at times and would almost go as far to say that some court controversy and disharmony at times.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We take the piss out of each other, sure, and to some it may seem sarcastic, rude or outright horrible even, but we know the people we're taking the piss out of, and expect it in return.
Not always the case at all!!
I have skin as thick as rhino hide and as water resiliant as any duck, and I've often not commented further on some posts because of the rudeness by people I don't know.
Hardly surprising some people find these forums unfriendly, I do at times, no escaping that, no matter how you may try to pretty it up!
I think Wishy was only saying that the forums reflect the different personalities and varying views that you get in "real life" encounters, and have to say I agree with his comment, just as much as I can see where Sassy is coming from too.
So, OP come and sit on the fence with me "
It was the "we know the people we're taking the piss out of" I was referring to really!
There's a marked difference in how "friends" disagree to how some react to someone outside their circle.
But hey...it's Friday and I'm feeling the love! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP..worry not!
Post what you want to, when you want to, about what you want to!
You will get all kinds of responses..such is the nature of any site with a variety of different people.
I have been on this site for over 2 years and seen all sorts come and go and every kind of post on the forums.
i do agree that it can seem very unwelcoming and you may get sarcastic replies...
at the end of the day...feck 'em!
Dive in, join in and say what you feel. There are just as many great people....as people you would happily want to slap with a flip flop
vol
xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been on here a few weeks now and I'm really enjoying it.
The forums on here are much livelier than another site I am on, although there are some lovely people over there (some of them are on here too!)
Yeah there are a few sarky people around, but I say leave them be. Seems like most on here are pretty good fun, if totally nuts. My kinda people! |
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