FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I got a friend who would love to join us....haha
I got a friend who would love to join us....haha
Jump to: Newest in thread
We thought we'd ask as we hit our 3rd stealth like fb couple should of been single lady profile/chat earlier.It got a strait red,block and unlucky from us where as if they'd been honest they may of got a meet as a couple as both were mmmm...
Oh well.....
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
On another note though, i was exchanging messages with a guy and arranged to meet up, he changed the time/date twice due to family, got no problem with that but his last text was about bringing his mate "fit genuine guy" along that stopped me meeting him, whether its for a social or not, unless ive met both, i wouldnt appreciate bringing a mate along and i think this guy thought he (and his mate) would have a good time  | |||
 | |||
| |||
"I don't find your profile aggressive DD, I know how hard it is to try and get some people on here to understand and respect what you are looking for... As for your problem, I fully respect the fact that people have fuck buddies, and that they enjoy being together, why shouldn't they, after all, swinging is all about enjoying yourself with other people, but I have encountered it the other way. I have been speaking to a single guy, who suddenly wanted to bring along another female, and while I am bi, I am bi when I choose to be, I really don't appreciate speaking to someone and getting excited about a meet for them to suddenly turn around and move the goal posts. .. This is so not on, at least be honest from the start then everyone is aware of what is happening. " If you look at what the op had been asked the woman they were chatting said she had a FB and asked if it was ok to bring him along. They could have said no quite simply. She could have then made a decision if she still wanted to meet them on her own. Thats not disrespecting the OP its the woman stating what she would rather do. What we don't know is who contacted who first and what was said as its a point of view from just one side. | |||
| |||
"I don't find your profile aggressive DD, I know how hard it is to try and get some people on here to understand and respect what you are looking for... As for your problem, I fully respect the fact that people have fuck buddies, and that they enjoy being together, why shouldn't they, after all, swinging is all about enjoying yourself with other people, but I have encountered it the other way. I have been speaking to a single guy, who suddenly wanted to bring along another female, and while I am bi, I am bi when I choose to be, I really don't appreciate speaking to someone and getting excited about a meet for them to suddenly turn around and move the goal posts. .. This is so not on, at least be honest from the start then everyone is aware of what is happening. If you look at what the op had been asked the woman they were chatting said she had a FB and asked if it was ok to bring him along. They could have said no quite simply. She could have then made a decision if she still wanted to meet them on her own. Thats not disrespecting the OP its the woman stating what she would rather do. What we don't know is who contacted who first and what was said as its a point of view from just one side." No, they had arranged to meet a single lady who suddenly decided that she wanted to meet as a couple, their point was, if they wanted to meet a couple they would have advertised for a couple. Thats the way I read it anyway. | |||
"I agree with Savanna, why not just say no thanks to the fb but say you still want to meet her alone. If she says no well end of story and move on." Why waste two weeks chatting and arranging a meet when she could have said so in the first place. | |||
 | |||
| |||
"I agree with Savanna, why not just say no thanks to the fb but say you still want to meet her alone. If she says no well end of story and move on. Why waste two weeks chatting and arranging a meet when she could have said so in the first place." She may have had second thoughts after chatting. She may have thought if she took a FB then she would have felt more comfortable. Do you not chat to someone for a while and form an opinion on them? I do. I will then meet or not or on the odd occasion meet with a friend if i am 50/50. Chatting for 2 weeks isn't a waste if you value your safety. | |||
" With regards to FBs in general, we don't meet people in this sort of relationship. Many are like average couples but we have had many experiences (seen it loads when we used to run the B+B by Chameleons and when I worked at Chams) of FB's getting together and the guy has no real interest in the woman he is with. He doesn't care if she is happy and comfortable with the situation, he has no real emotional contact with the woman and is really only there to shag the other woman, in our case Sasha. Sometimes they don't even find the woman they are with attractive but agreed to get together so he could have more fun as a couple....... Sounds like I am having a go only at the Male FBs here but let's be honest, women don't need a man to get into clubs cheaper or get in on couples only nights or to find couples willing to meet them so yes, the situations above happen less with females. " That's not "FB's in general" though, as you stated as the top of the quote, the way it reads is that you have encountered these relationships at Chameleons (or the B&B). With the greatest respect, I'd suggest FBs "in general" are buddies, mates, friends, mutually satisfactory arrangements with no strings attached, totally different to two people hooking up in a club, where no woman will ever have a problem finding someone to have sex with, no matter who she is, there will always be a bloke desperate enough to take on the job. It's a 2-way thing or it isn't a FB relationship, both parties benefit. As you point out, a woman in a club doesn't really gain anything, so I'd hesitate to call this a "FB relationship", per se. I actually think it's unfair to dismiss FB relationships off-hand, there are PLENTY of long-term married couples who are out there swinging where one partner isn't 100% into it, or one of them looks forward to swapping the fat lump they are stuck with because they can't afford a divorce. If you think of it like that, a FB relationship is more suited for this sort of thing, it is two people wholly into exploring new sexual horizons, there won't be any deep-seated jealousies or hang-ups. As with any meets, you should be able to tell when chatting all together if someone is there just to jump your partner or if they are there as a companion to watch someone's back and ensure they are safe. If you don't see the couple opposite as balanced individuals, say "thanks but no thanks", simple. The point with the OP about moving the goalposts stands, but maybe it's not a cynical ploy. Perhaps the woman was a newbie, was more than nervous? It's theoretically risky for a single bloke to put himself in a situation where he's minus his trousers with strangers, for a woman it's tenfold. Perhaps she just needed someone to hold her hand whilst she dipped her toe (or other body parts), this was just another type of Safety Contact, like single women should all have with first contact meets. (You DO have them, don't you ladies? You know, someone you phone at midnight to say all is well, and if the call isn't made, the Safety hits the panic button?). If this were the case, she should have sharpened her communication skills, I can see why the OP was racked off. | |||
" OK some are more genuine and do have feelings for the woman they are with but not like people in relationships." Just to go back to Jed's post, because it is something I feel very strongly about (and because I split my last reply in case people just fell asleep half way through!)Perhaps a thread hijack, but meh! If I wanted a wife, I'd have one. If I have a FB, it doesn't mean that I care any less for her health, safety and happiness than if I was having to go to her parents' house every Sunday and had a mortgage with her. No, I don't really care about her dilemmas in Sainsbury's, that's wife territory, but her welfare IS my concern, especially if I want repeat performances, at the very least it might compromise MY health down the line. Frankly, I can't imagine NOT having respect and concern for a FB, I think that is a Fuck-Wit Buddy, not a Fuck Buddy you are thinking of. Anyone who finds themself with someone who has no real concern for them apart from access to more partners needs to show some self-respect and tell them to clear off, there are plenty of good, decent people out here that want no-strings fun with someone they can trust. I'll state categorically here and now that anyone I have sex with, even a spontaneous club shag, automatically deserves and gets my utmost respect, I'll not do anything they don't seem to enjoy or which might be dangerous, and I'll watch their back whilst they play with others, it's my duty as a gentleman and a responsible adult. I'll stick up for them, make sure they get home safely if we've been out, I just don't want to have their freezing feet on my back every night, or nagging at me to clear the shed. In fact, I've been known to weigh in and watch the welfare of women to whom I have no connection, on more than one occasion pulling up blokes who think that because they are in the round room at Chams, in the dark, they don't need to rubber up. I'd like to think that everyone would do the same too, it's about being a good person (notwithstanding my many other faults that make me an arsehole!!). | |||
.
tut, tut single fem, yu will give them all a bad name lol .
and before you know it, there will be a block all single fems option and profile with NO SINGLE FEMS, if we want one, WE WILL CONTACT YOU.
 | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
" OK some are more genuine and do have feelings for the woman they are with but not like people in relationships. Just to go back to Jed's post, because it is something I feel very strongly about (and because I split my last reply in case people just fell asleep half way through!)Perhaps a thread hijack, but meh! If I wanted a wife, I'd have one. If I have a FB, it doesn't mean that I care any less for her health, safety and happiness than if I was having to go to her parents' house every Sunday and had a mortgage with her. No, I don't really care about her dilemmas in Sainsbury's, that's wife territory, but her welfare IS my concern, especially if I want repeat performances, at the very least it might compromise MY health down the line. Frankly, I can't imagine NOT having respect and concern for a FB, I think that is a Fuck-Wit Buddy, not a Fuck Buddy you are thinking of. Anyone who finds themself with someone who has no real concern for them apart from access to more partners needs to show some self-respect and tell them to clear off, there are plenty of good, decent people out here that want no-strings fun with someone they can trust. I'll state categorically here and now that anyone I have sex with, even a spontaneous club shag, automatically deserves and gets my utmost respect, I'll not do anything they don't seem to enjoy or which might be dangerous, and I'll watch their back whilst they play with others, it's my duty as a gentleman and a responsible adult. I'll stick up for them, make sure they get home safely if we've been out, I just don't want to have their freezing feet on my back every night, or nagging at me to clear the shed. In fact, I've been known to weigh in and watch the welfare of women to whom I have no connection, on more than one occasion pulling up blokes who think that because they are in the round room at Chams, in the dark, they don't need to rubber up. I'd like to think that everyone would do the same too, it's about being a good person (notwithstanding my many other faults that make me an arsehole!!). " Ah what a lovely post and what a lovely gentleman you seem to be. I agree with you, in my opinion, if a guy agrees to accompany a woman to a club or a meet then he has to take care of her and look after her welfare - id expect that I think - perhaps im just one of those old fashioned girls - who knows. | |||
| |||
"While I agree you've been disrespected by the F in question, and understand how frustrating that will have been so close to the meet... ...I don't necessarily agree with your definition of fuckbuddy. I'd see it as a friend (geuinely, and about whom I cared on that level) with whom I regularly had 1-1 sex with, in addition to any mutually agreed swing situations. Sorry for the tangent..." I second that. My fb is a dear friend and we talk even when we're not meeting. we just don't want commitment. but our only interest is not sex | |||
"Well personally i would be hesitant about meeting the pair of you on my own. Your profile has some aggressive capitals in and your post here isn't exactly soft is it. She may have wanted a guy along to ensure her safety. I rarely meet couples now as i have come across so many who just want a play thing and are quite aggressive at times. Just another viewpoint that's all. "With total respect of your viewpoint,aggressive isnt our forte. Not in anyway at all.We dont admit to being saints, possessing that halo of perfection either.we just say things how they are sometimes so there are no misunderstandings. If this makes us aggressive then we are guilty as charged, but may we defend ourselves a little though here.Our problem wasnt fb's in general,more the stealth type that appear down the chat line.As we said,"if she had been honest from the start we may of met both" but from the start, porkies were told leaving no trust in any words after that.We did say there and then,politely, that we were no longer interested and left it at that.We understand people have fb's for personal reasons and believe some feelings are present between them, its just our preference to not meet them,we feel more secure that way.We are neither putting down single ladies.We take onboard the concerns they have about couples and respect them as it must be daunting going alone to meets with couples.Also in no way now, or ever have we looked at single ladies as play things for both of us.All three individual wants, and no no's from a poss meet are discussed and if anyone isnt happy with something,maybe safety,maybe another reason then we poss wouldnt meet,or if asked if a man can join her for her own peace of mind, then we'd maybe agree and ask if it would still be mff or if she wanted him to join in.He can be there and watch and maybe, be invited to join us at some point if he so wishes.Surely though, if he's only there for safety he wouldnt be there to join in.Open to interpretation that one really. We've read some totally valid and some way off the mark replies to our post.One thing is definate for sure,we have taken all them in,got them onbnoard and possibly learnt a little from them too.Maybe too,its about time profiles of single ladies stopped hiding the male friend or fb,whichever the case may be in that profile and just were honest from the off.Then again,if all were honest on fab from the start like the vast majority of people, wouldnt that be a miracle...hehe.Problem then becomes that,it would just be to easy and take away that,is he/she genuine or not side of things which sometimes,does provide that need to be aware,safe and weary of people,ensuring everyone gets all they genuinely want........ | |||
 | |||
| |||
| |||
