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Hypothetical Situation
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Your partner says to you… “By the way, I stopped by that new club today and asked for some information. They took me for a tour of the place and said I could try out the facilities, so I had a bit of a soak in the Jacuzzi and was invited to play with one of the couples.”
Your reaction?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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thats nice dear.....now give me your credit card or face bein tortured to death for at least 4 wks/...........
cant comment dont have partner but one side says its cheatin other side says its a swingers club we swingers live and let live .....xx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
I would say ok babe,im off there tonight as its single guys night,just gonna pack my play bag and then im gone, have fun at home 
Seriously though that situation just would'nt occur with us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Your partner says to you… “By the way, I stopped by that new club today and asked for some information. They took me for a tour of the place and said I could try out the facilities, so I had a bit of a soak in the Jacuzzi and was invited to play with one of the couples.”
Your reaction?
"
If Kate took up the offer to play, without consulting me, I would feel a little miffed. If she did ask, I would very likely say, "ok, go ahead, have fun".
I would not do it, believe me or not, because I haven't got the confidence to play alone. We have however, played seperately at parties a few times.
When we started swinging we made some "ground rules" and think it's important to keep to them, and even to re-evaluate them from time to time.
At the end of the day, it wouldn't be a big deal to us, our relationship is strong. We wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends on how open your relationship is. Some people have permission to play which doesn’t have to be verified before every encounter. Others just swing together just as a couple. But I would suspect there are many on here who would go for it but are highly unlikely to admit it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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lol sorry would never happen here - first of all going to a club alone - bad enough together lol -
then getting in to a jacuzzi - everyone knows that people who cant make the loo in time in a club go there too ewwwwwwwwww
we have our own one and have to say much prefer that
finally what on earth is the point - if we wanted to play seperate room we could arrange that but why do it alone you would lose trust and without that there is no reason to be together |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Depends on how open your relationship is. Some people have permission to play which doesn’t have to be verified before every encounter. Others just swing together just as a couple. But I would suspect there are many on here who would go for it but are highly unlikely to admit it."
I am sure you are right, going by the amount of mails we get from one half of a couple 
For us though, the turn on for Mr R is seeing me with another man and at the moment he is enjoying that too much to want anything else...so as I wouldn't be there, it would be pointless for him haha.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends on how open your relationship is. Some people have permission to play which doesn’t have to be verified before every encounter. Others just swing together just as a couple. But I would suspect there are many on here who would go for it but are highly unlikely to admit it.
I am sure you are right, going by the amount of mails we get from one half of a couple
For us though, the turn on for Mr R is seeing me with another man and at the moment he is enjoying that too much to want anything else...so as I wouldn't be there, it would be pointless for him haha.
"
We get PM,s like one of the OP's above asking to play solo. I might be cynical here but there is a lot of secrecy involved in swinging anyway and it perpetuates into areas that it shouldn't. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Depends on how open your relationship is. Some people have permission to play which doesn’t have to be verified before every encounter. Others just swing together just as a couple. But I would suspect there are many on here who would go for it but are highly unlikely to admit it.
I am sure you are right, going by the amount of mails we get from one half of a couple
For us though, the turn on for Mr R is seeing me with another man and at the moment he is enjoying that too much to want anything else...so as I wouldn't be there, it would be pointless for him haha.
We get PM,s like one of the OP's above asking to play solo. I might be cynical here but there is a lot of secrecy involved in swinging anyway and it perpetuates into areas that it shouldn't."
Yes most definitely, which is a shame when you think this game is meant to be about honesty with your partner.
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I’m just curious as to how big a deal it would be.
Not whether it has or would happen... but 'if'... what do you think you would do if your partner told you they had done something unplanned, possibly something not agreed to in the ‘ground rules’… but a one-off opportunity which just sort of happened in the moment (without any planning) and was then openly discussed.
Would people really end a relationship over it?
And why do some assume it's the man in the jacuzzi  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends on how open your relationship is. Some people have permission to play which doesn’t have to be verified before every encounter. Others just swing together just as a couple. But I would suspect there are many on here who would go for it but are highly unlikely to admit it.
I am sure you are right, going by the amount of mails we get from one half of a couple
For us though, the turn on for Mr R is seeing me with another man and at the moment he is enjoying that too much to want anything else...so as I wouldn't be there, it would be pointless for him haha.
We get PM,s like one of the OP's above asking to play solo. I might be cynical here but there is a lot of secrecy involved in swinging anyway and it perpetuates into areas that it shouldn't.
Yes most definitely, which is a shame when you think this game is meant to be about honesty with your partner.
"
Its probably a little different for us as our lifestyle is more fetish/swinging. But there is a lack of honesty with lots playing. I think some of it stems from the fact that swinging is frowned on generally by society and so we automatically drift into the secretive side. Also swingers in general do have different attitudes to sex than the main stream public. On line swinging has in general made us a little more cynical though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m just curious as to how big a deal it would be.
Not whether it has or would happen... but 'if'... what do you think you would do if your partner told you they had done something unplanned, possibly something not agreed to in the ‘ground rules’… but a one-off opportunity which just sort of happened in the moment (without any planning) and was then openly discussed.
Would people really end a relationship over it?
And why do some assume it's the man in the jacuzzi "
It is a very interesting point. I do feel though most wouldn’t admit to visiting but I doubt they will be prepared to say that on here as it may be detrimental to potential future meets. Should it end a relationship? Well one incident shouldn’t but many people are in fragile relationships. We like many have met couples that one partner is not so keen and only going along for the ride. I think to end a relationship it needs to be more than one occurrence although P is wavering on that being more of an impulsive person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Your partner says to you… “By the way, I stopped by that new club today and asked for some information. They took me for a tour of the place and said I could try out the facilities, so I had a bit of a soak in the Jacuzzi and was invited to play with one of the couples.”
Your reaction?
"
My reaction.....
Cool, tell me all about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m just curious as to how big a deal it would be.
Not whether it has or would happen... but 'if'... what do you think you would do if your partner told you they had done something unplanned, possibly something not agreed to in the ‘ground rules’… but a one-off opportunity which just sort of happened in the moment (without any planning) and was then openly discussed.
Would people really end a relationship over it?
And why do some assume it's the man in the jacuzzi "
Mine did break the rules and 9 months later a fellow swingeress turns up at the door clutching a new borne.
Bags packed - see ya!!!!!! |
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"I’m just curious as to how big a deal it would be.
Not whether it has or would happen... but 'if'... what do you think you would do if your partner told you they had done something unplanned, possibly something not agreed to in the ‘ground rules’… but a one-off opportunity which just sort of happened in the moment (without any planning) and was then openly discussed.
Would people really end a relationship over it?
And why do some assume it's the man in the jacuzzi
Mine did break the rules and 9 months later a fellow swingeress turns up at the door clutching a new borne.
Bags packed - see ya!!!!!!"
Ouch!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Your partner says to you… “By the way, I stopped by that new club today and asked for some information. They took me for a tour of the place and said I could try out the facilities, so I had a bit of a soak in the Jacuzzi and was invited to play with one of the couples.”
Hallelujah!!! You found it ... when are we off???
Your reaction?
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My reaction:
1) Did you enjoy it?
2) If not, why not?
We are both capable of making a rational decision on the spur of the moment and neither of us would take offence or see it as a problem if the other one had a bit of extra fun.
After all the swinging scene is all about having a bit extra. |
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By *im53Man
over a year ago
Boldon |
most are forgetting, cpls know there partners , and how they think.
the partner who knows it would be ok to play will tell the other about it.
the cheater would just keep their mouth shut and say nought |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We swing! We don’t need to ask each other each time woe go out of the door for permission to buy clothes or have a beer so why is this any different. Looks like some insecure couples about if bag packing or e grief is involved. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
I think it all depends on what your own bounderies are not about insecurities.
If couples only play together and like that arrangement, then I don't suppose one half going off on their own would be the done thing.
If on the other hand a couple play together or alone, it wouldn't be an issue.
We like to play together, as part of the turn on for me is the Mr watching me with other men and part of the turn on for him is watching me with other men.
That being the case it wouldn't be so much of a turn on if one of us were not there.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I personally dont think its about insecurites but just being honest with each other in swinging. And if this is counted as being insecure by others then each to their own point of view |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
I agree with Pussy that its nothing to do with insecurities
I don't equate going to the pub at lunchtime to meet a friend and telling rob about it afterwards the same as me having a session with another couple and telling him afterwards
If people play separately then there would be no issue but if people play together and then all of a sudden they don't without any chat between them about the change in circumstance then of course some of them will be a bit pissed off about it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I personally dont think its about insecurites but just being honest with each other in swinging. And if this is counted as being insecure by others then each to their own point of view"
Probably the previous answer in question was not fully thought through |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree with Pussy that its nothing to do with insecurities
I don't equate going to the pub at lunchtime to meet a friend and telling rob about it afterwards the same as me having a session with another couple and telling him afterwards
If people play separately then there would be no issue but if people play together and then all of a sudden they don't without any chat between them about the change in circumstance then of course some of them will be a bit pissed off about it "
I said it in a previous thread, anyone who likens sneaking off to the pub for a cheeky couple of beers to sneaking off for a shag behind their partners back really does need to have quiet word with them selves |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just answer the bloody question people, don't analyse others. "
Thread drift in threads not started by a MOD is allowed, some would even go as far as to say it's encouraged |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Came on here today looking for fun, I'm off to a bloody morgue forum, can't be as serious, surely.
Could have been a good thread, much better, if people at least attempted to answer the question, and not analyse everyone else by their own standards, it just doesn't work.
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"Came on here today looking for fun, I'm off to a bloody morgue forum, can't be as serious, surely.
Could have been a good thread, much better, if people at least attempted to answer the question, and not analyse everyone else by their own standards, it just doesn't work.
"
'Live and let live' does come with hidden clauses and subparagraphs don’t ya know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"BTW.... I never said whether or not the partner took up the couple's offer "
Let me add, we don't go to clubs, we wont use a jaccuzi, dirty horrible things (our opinion), however, as it's an hypothetical question I adapted the question in my mind to fit.
It's for fun, let's have it!! |
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"BTW.... I never said whether or not the partner took up the couple's offer
Well now you've mentioned it........spill "
Just something else I found interesting (once people actually treated it as a hypothetical question that is) and it wasn't intentional at the time of posting... but still interesting which way assumptions fall.
Would it make a difference if they said...
a) I turned them down of course.
b) Before I could answer they were having a fumble with me... but that's all I let happen.
c) It seemed rude not to go the whole hog. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"BTW.... I never said whether or not the partner took up the couple's offer
Well now you've mentioned it........spill
Just something else I found interesting (once people actually treated it as a hypothetical question that is) and it wasn't intentional at the time of posting... but still interesting which way assumptions fall.
Would it make a difference if they said...
a) I turned them down of course.
b) Before I could answer they were having a fumble with me... but that's all I let happen.
c) It seemed rude not to go the whole hog."
To be honest no.........Id forgotten about them at the start as it was hypothetical, you bought it up again and so I was being nosy |
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By *ickedWWoman
over a year ago
Chester |
Back to the question..
Me and the hubbs been playin for alot of yrs now and trust each other so much..
We play sometimes as a cpl sometimes separtly, and without having to ask permission to do so 
So if he popped in to the club and had a good time good for him, great stuff, now tell me in great detail what happened..
At least he told me and we're cool about it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Your partner says to you… “By the way, I stopped by that new club today and asked for some information. They took me for a tour of the place and said I could try out the facilities, so I had a bit of a soak in the Jacuzzi and was invited to play with one of the couples.”
Your reaction?
"
Ace,nice one babe........did you have a good time?
Tell me all about it!
(The reply goes for both of us)
XXXX
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Your partner says to you… “By the way, I stopped by that new club today and asked for some information. They took me for a tour of the place and said I could try out the facilities, so I had a bit of a soak in the Jacuzzi and was invited to play with one of the couples.”
Your reaction?
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I would ask if the invite was accepted. |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"BTW.... I never said whether or not the partner took up the couple's offer
Well now you've mentioned it........spill
Just something else I found interesting (once people actually treated it as a hypothetical question that is) and it wasn't intentional at the time of posting... but still interesting which way assumptions fall.
Would it make a difference if they said...
a) I turned them down of course.
b) Before I could answer they were having a fumble with me... but that's all I let happen.
c) It seemed rude not to go the whole hog."
a) I'd make him sleep on the sofa and regain my trust.
b) I'd batter the crap out of him and make him sleep on the sofa and regain my trust.
c) I'd pack his bags and see a divorce lawyer in the morning!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I have a partner, then it is unlikely I would check out a club without him. "
Well we don't go to clubs but the question was hypothetical.
Nor would either of us do anything without the other.
However,our reply was based on asking each other the O.P's question.
XXXX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Your partner says to you… “By the way, I stopped by that new club today and asked for some information. They took me for a tour of the place and said I could try out the facilities, so I had a bit of a soak in the Jacuzzi and was invited to play with one of the couples.”
Your reaction?
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Id say what were the couple like and where do they live and would they fancy meeting up
And did you have a good day my Darling xx |
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By *ig badMan
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
"
Your partner says to you… “By the way, I stopped by that new club today and asked for some information. They took me for a tour of the place and said I could try out the facilities, so I had a bit of a soak in the Jacuzzi and was invited to play with one of the couples.”
Your reaction?
"
Oooo a good question to post to liberal swingers! And what reactions! Well if your really have full trust then you would already know your partners reaction and would do the appropriate thing. But lets face it by the time you theoretically know its a matter of being cool with it or throwing toys out of pram and doing one. I do like the question though, makes you think doesn't it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We only play together so if it turned out Scott had accepted the invite it would probably mean the end of our relationship, as it would be a break of our trust and without that I couldn't carry on with it x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Your partner says to you… “By the way, I stopped by that new club today and asked for some information. They took me for a tour of the place and said I could try out the facilities, so I had a bit of a soak in the Jacuzzi and was invited to play with one of the couples.”
Your reaction?
Oooo a good question to post to liberal swingers! And what reactions! Well if your really have full trust then you would already know your partners reaction and would do the appropriate thing. But lets face it by the time you theoretically know its a matter of being cool with it or throwing toys out of pram and doing one. I do like the question though, makes you think doesn't it "
I am surprised at how many so called liberal swingers state they would end the relationship just like that, IMO, if trust was breached, then it's not the end, but some serious talking would need to be done, but to say, oh that's it, I wouldn't put up with it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd want to hear the rest of the tale and we'd probably get carried away and have some fun ourselves before working out when we could next go there together.
I don't need hubbys permission to play and he doesn't need mine. As long as he told me about it when he got home then it's cool with me.
I am assuming that he knew I was unavailable and so didn't invite me to meet him. If I'd been left sitting at home sitting on my thumb then my reaction would be slightly different |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Your partner says to you… “By the way, I stopped by that new club today and asked for some information. They took me for a tour of the place and said I could try out the facilities, so I had a bit of a soak in the Jacuzzi and was invited to play with one of the couples.”
Your reaction?
Oooo a good question to post to liberal swingers! And what reactions! Well if your really have full trust then you would already know your partners reaction and would do the appropriate thing. But lets face it by the time you theoretically know its a matter of being cool with it or throwing toys out of pram and doing one. I do like the question though, makes you think doesn't it
I am surprised at how many so called liberal swingers state they would end the relationship just like that, IMO, if trust was breached, then it's not the end, but some serious talking would need to be done, but to say, oh that's it, I wouldn't put up with it. "
I think speaking for myself I used to be in an awful relationship where I was cheated on many times, with Scott it is different we have built up a strong trust with each other and its been hard at times to reach that level. I know if he broke that trust then we wouldn't have anything worth building on.
Saying that I honestly believe hand on heart he would never have even have gone to the club without talking to me about it, I was just answering the question |
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