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Accomodate or not accomodating
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm curious as to what makes it interesting or viable for the ladies and couples when looking for a guy. Does it influence you when the guy can accomodate or not? |
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By *utumnWoman
over a year ago
leeds |
I only meet men who can accommodate, that way I know they are really single (counts takeaway menu's and meals for one!!)I won't do hotels, cars or the great outdoors! Probably unjustly I always think, unless stated why in their profile, that men who can't accommodate are married or have a partner! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I only meet men who can accommodate, that way I know they are really single (counts takeaway menu's and meals for one!!)I won't do hotels, cars or the great outdoors! Probably unjustly I always think, unless stated why in their profile, that men who can't accommodate are married or have a partner!"
In my case I would like to accomodate but my living arrangements does make it rather difficult to do so.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd rather use hotel's than go to people's homes
Hotels are always a good neutral ground. What about clubs?"
I do use clubs, I don't go into clubs with men tho, but i'm happy to meet up inside with anyone going when I am |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd rather use hotel's than go to people's homes
Hotels are always a good neutral ground. What about clubs?
I do use clubs, I don't go into clubs with men tho, but i'm happy to meet up inside with anyone going when I am"
Fair enough |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can't accomm, but do state I am married, though I do have a lovely garden shed... that is if you dont mind bending over my flymo  "
I think your up front honesty is working for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I only meet men who can accommodate, that way I know they are really single (counts takeaway menu's and meals for one!!)I won't do hotels, cars or the great outdoors! Probably unjustly I always think, unless stated why in their profile, that men who can't accommodate are married or have a partner!"
This, but have met one married man in a hotel but would prefer the single guy who can accommodate but they seem to be missing  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer hotel meets as i just feel more relaxed in them than peoples homes, in a hotel i can just get up and get a drink when i like, go to the loo when i like and take a shower when i like without feeling like im intruding, tho im sure people wouldn't mind you doing any of these things if they accommodated you i wouldn't feel i could without asking and id feel awkward keep asking for a drink, if i can have a shower etc |
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"I'm curious as to what makes it interesting or viable for the ladies and couples when looking for a guy. Does it influence you when the guy can accomodate or not?"
Very much so for me. I will not allow anyone into my home who can't invite me into theirs! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I only meet men who can accommodate, that way I know they are really single (counts takeaway menu's and meals for one!!)I won't do hotels, cars or the great outdoors! Probably unjustly I always think, unless stated why in their profile, that men who can't accommodate are married or have a partner!This, but have met one married man in a hotel but would prefer the single guy who can accommodate but they seem to be missing "
Wish I could accomodate but the window to do so is so slim that there is almost no point  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I prefer hotel meets as i just feel more relaxed in them than peoples homes, in a hotel i can just get up and get a drink when i like, go to the loo when i like and take a shower when i like without feeling like im intruding, tho im sure people wouldn't mind you doing any of these things if they accommodated you i wouldn't feel i could without asking and id feel awkward keep asking for a drink, if i can have a shower etc "
That's a good point. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm curious as to what makes it interesting or viable for the ladies and couples when looking for a guy. Does it influence you when the guy can accomodate or not?
Very much so for me. I will not allow anyone into my home who can't invite me into theirs!"
What if they make the effort to at least try once and the living arrangements make it almost impossible? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I also find it quite ironic how many people who don't accommodate insist other do  "
Yes I to agree. But the solution should be to at least offer the hotel if you know you can't accomodate. For a meet, maybe a club should be the backup if both sides can't come to an agreement. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Doesn't bother me as i don't for my own reasons...and im sure some guys have their reasons...house share or whatever.
"
So where do you normally meet then? |
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"I'm curious as to what makes it interesting or viable for the ladies and couples when looking for a guy. Does it influence you when the guy can accomodate or not?
Very much so for me. I will not allow anyone into my home who can't invite me into theirs!
What if they make the effort to at least try once and the living arrangements make it almost impossible?"
When my youngest was away at uni and my other daughter worked far from home I used to meet at home, whether my playmate could reciprocate or not was never an issue.
My daughter was coming home unexpectedly and I said to my playmate (we were in my bed at the time) that our next meet would be at his. He said he didn't let people of here into his house, it wasn't a knocking shop!
Needless to say he was unceremoniously evicted from my home. Unfortunately, that has meant my default is to assume all those who can't accommodate have that mindset and I don't meet them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm curious as to what makes it interesting or viable for the ladies and couples when looking for a guy. Does it influence you when the guy can accomodate or not?
Very much so for me. I will not allow anyone into my home who can't invite me into theirs!
What if they make the effort to at least try once and the living arrangements make it almost impossible?
When my youngest was away at uni and my other daughter worked far from home I used to meet at home, whether my playmate could reciprocate or not was never an issue.
My daughter was coming home unexpectedly and I said to my playmate (we were in my bed at the time) that our next meet would be at his. He said he didn't let people of here into his house, it wasn't a knocking shop!
Needless to say he was unceremoniously evicted from my home. Unfortunately, that has meant my default is to assume all those who can't accommodate have that mindset and I don't meet them. "
Wow, quite the "charmer". It's understandable when you have family and the non schedule that they have means that any free time is fleeting. I would like to accomodate, but if i do, it would be on a somewhat short notice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's rare that I can accommodate, as I have young children, and say so on my profile.
I've never felt, or applied, pressure to meet anyone anywhere.
Though most often it is at a hotel  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i never travel for a meet, only accomodate, tut i must be the odd one out! "
Nope, just the rare jewel.  Do you find that you have numerous requests to meet since you can? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's rare that I can accommodate, as I have young children, and say so on my profile.
I've never felt, or applied, pressure to meet anyone anywhere.
Though most often it is at a hotel "
Hotels in your case make sense since you've got young ones. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We only accommodate when we play because we have young children.
This will probably make finding trustworthy bi fems more difficult admittedly."
Well I'm not too sure how one would go about doing so but the best of luck. Since you have young children, how often do you normally get to have meets at your place then? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i never travel for a meet, only accomodate, tut i must be the odd one out!
Nope, just the rare jewel. Do you find that you have numerous requests to meet since you can?
Yes quite a lot!"
Of the ones that are sent, how do you pick them to maybe chat first then meet? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm always able to accommodate, however tho I will accom singles on the first date I won't accom couples til 2nd date
My reason behind that is I don't feel quite as comfortable having TWO people in my home whom I hardly know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have met other couples or single females at our place. We prefer to meet Guys in clubs. So fo us, it doesnt matter wether a Guy can accomodate or not.
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"i never travel for a meet, only accomodate, tut i must be the odd one out!
Nope, just the rare jewel. Do you find that you have numerous requests to meet since you can?
Yes quite a lot!
Of the ones that are sent, how do you pick them to maybe chat first then meet? "
I read there profile, if there nothing on there profile there not worth replying to, simple as that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When visible my profile states I don't meet in hotels etc or meet those that don't accommodate for whatever reason. That way everyone knows the score."
Can't be more fairer than that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm always able to accommodate, however tho I will accom singles on the first date I won't accom couples til 2nd date
My reason behind that is I don't feel quite as comfortable having TWO people in my home whom I hardly know "
Singles on the first date does sound okay but I'd maybe do the same as the couple and wait till the second unless you really get on, on the first time.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We have met other couples or single females at our place. We prefer to meet Guys in clubs. So fo us, it doesnt matter wether a Guy can accomodate or not.
"
Understandable to meet the guys at the club, after having known them for a while, have you ever met them at your place? |
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I do have to say 1 of the things that makes me really angry on here is when a guy says on his profile he can accomodate but then you get chatting to him about meeting, well it turns out he can't. It really annoys me, be honest from the start and your get further! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i never travel for a meet, only accomodate, tut i must be the odd one out!
Nope, just the rare jewel. Do you find that you have numerous requests to meet since you can?
Yes quite a lot!
Of the ones that are sent, how do you pick them to maybe chat first then meet?
I read there profile, if there nothing on there profile there not worth replying to, simple as that "
Not giving too much away but what are the general things that catch your eye on the profiles? |
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"I do have to say 1 of the things that makes me really angry on here is when a guy says on his profile he can accomodate but then you get chatting to him about meeting, well it turns out he can't. It really annoys me, be honest from the start and your get further!"
Worst still they say they can accommodate, you go to theirs and there's an old sheet on the front room floor. They don't want you in their bed, had that a couple of times, naturally I've not stayed.
Especially as both cheeky fuckers had been to my home and treated like welcomed guests: clueless some people!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do have to say 1 of the things that makes me really angry on here is when a guy says on his profile he can accomodate but then you get chatting to him about meeting, well it turns out he can't. It really annoys me, be honest from the start and your get further!
Worst still they say they can accommodate, you go to theirs and there's an old sheet on the front room floor. They don't want you in their bed, had that a couple of times, naturally I've not stayed.
Especially as both cheeky fuckers had been to my home and treated like welcomed guests: clueless some people! "
I've only had that once, turned out he was married and didn't want to risk the sheets on the bed getting dirty
Takes either a brave or stupid man to shag a woman in the house he shares with his wife lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I do have to say 1 of the things that makes me really angry on here is when a guy says on his profile he can accomodate but then you get chatting to him about meeting, well it turns out he can't. It really annoys me, be honest from the start and your get further!"
I don't get the thought process behind that. Why string someone along knowing that you can't be able to deliver on the promise. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I do have to say 1 of the things that makes me really angry on here is when a guy says on his profile he can accomodate but then you get chatting to him about meeting, well it turns out he can't. It really annoys me, be honest from the start and your get further!
Worst still they say they can accommodate, you go to theirs and there's an old sheet on the front room floor. They don't want you in their bed, had that a couple of times, naturally I've not stayed.
Especially as both cheeky fuckers had been to my home and treated like welcomed guests: clueless some people! "
Wonder how they thought it would turn out? |
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"
Worst still they say they can accommodate, you go to theirs and there's an old sheet on the front room floor. They don't want you in their bed, had that a couple of times, naturally I've not stayed.
"
WOW! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I do have to say 1 of the things that makes me really angry on here is when a guy says on his profile he can accomodate but then you get chatting to him about meeting, well it turns out he can't. It really annoys me, be honest from the start and your get further!
Worst still they say they can accommodate, you go to theirs and there's an old sheet on the front room floor. They don't want you in their bed, had that a couple of times, naturally I've not stayed.
Especially as both cheeky fuckers had been to my home and treated like welcomed guests: clueless some people!
I've only had that once, turned out he was married and didn't want to risk the sheets on the bed getting dirty
Takes either a brave or stupid man to shag a woman in the house he shares with his wife lol"
I won't meet anyone who is cheating or sneaking behind other people's back to get some on the side. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do have to say 1 of the things that makes me really angry on here is when a guy says on his profile he can accomodate but then you get chatting to him about meeting, well it turns out he can't. It really annoys me, be honest from the start and your get further!
Worst still they say they can accommodate, you go to theirs and there's an old sheet on the front room floor. They don't want you in their bed, had that a couple of times, naturally I've not stayed.
Especially as both cheeky fuckers had been to my home and treated like welcomed guests: clueless some people!
I've only had that once, turned out he was married and didn't want to risk the sheets on the bed getting dirty
Takes either a brave or stupid man to shag a woman in the house he shares with his wife lol
I won't meet anyone who is cheating or sneaking behind other people's back to get some on the side. "
i didn't know he was, i naturally believed he was single when he said he could accommodate, i met him 3 times at his home before it came out he was married and he was taking me to his while she was working |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I do have to say 1 of the things that makes me really angry on here is when a guy says on his profile he can accomodate but then you get chatting to him about meeting, well it turns out he can't. It really annoys me, be honest from the start and your get further!
Worst still they say they can accommodate, you go to theirs and there's an old sheet on the front room floor. They don't want you in their bed, had that a couple of times, naturally I've not stayed.
Especially as both cheeky fuckers had been to my home and treated like welcomed guests: clueless some people!
I've only had that once, turned out he was married and didn't want to risk the sheets on the bed getting dirty
Takes either a brave or stupid man to shag a woman in the house he shares with his wife lol
I won't meet anyone who is cheating or sneaking behind other people's back to get some on the side.
i didn't know he was, i naturally believed he was single when he said he could accommodate, i met him 3 times at his home before it came out he was married and he was taking me to his while she was working "
It's people like him that do make this site difficult to trust people sometimes. |
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We have a regular bi FB we meet with monthly. We're trying to find bi fems and bi cpls at the moment but naturally, as suspected, asking them to come to our house is somewhat risky and a big trust exercise.
Needless to say we'd go through the motions of 'getting to know' people first but actions, so they say, speak louder than words! |
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"I do have to say 1 of the things that makes me really angry on here is when a guy says on his profile he can accomodate but then you get chatting to him about meeting, well it turns out he can't. It really annoys me, be honest from the start and your get further!
Worst still they say they can accommodate, you go to theirs and there's an old sheet on the front room floor. They don't want you in their bed, had that a couple of times, naturally I've not stayed.
Especially as both cheeky fuckers had been to my home and treated like welcomed guests: clueless some people! "
Erm, we tend to do this actually. We have a mattress we cover up and bring down when our FB is over. Simply put, it means we can make much more noise and not worry about waking up the kiddy-wink  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We have a regular bi FB we meet with monthly. We're trying to find bi fems and bi cpls at the moment but naturally, as suspected, asking them to come to our house is somewhat risky and a big trust exercise.
Needless to say we'd go through the motions of 'getting to know' people first but actions, so they say, speak louder than words! "
Very true. Normally a social meet in a no pressure environment should normally help ease the nerves and if the people are genuine, then hopefully it works out for all. |
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"I do have to say 1 of the things that makes me really angry on here is when a guy says on his profile he can accomodate but then you get chatting to him about meeting, well it turns out he can't. It really annoys me, be honest from the start and your get further!
Worst still they say they can accommodate, you go to theirs and there's an old sheet on the front room floor. They don't want you in their bed, had that a couple of times, naturally I've not stayed.
Especially as both cheeky fuckers had been to my home and treated like welcomed guests: clueless some people!
Erm, we tend to do this actually. We have a mattress we cover up and bring down when our FB is over. Simply put, it means we can make much more noise and not worry about waking up the kiddy-wink "
Hmm, but I suppose we'll have to forego the old mattress-downstairs-trick for a bit of slap and tickle in a proper comfy bed.
Hmm, added bonus to the bed... bed posts!!
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm curious as to what makes it interesting or viable for the ladies and couples when looking for a guy. Does it influence you when the guy can accomodate or not?"
I don't accommodate so I can hardly dictate to others if they don't |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I do have to say 1 of the things that makes me really angry on here is when a guy says on his profile he can accomodate but then you get chatting to him about meeting, well it turns out he can't. It really annoys me, be honest from the start and your get further!
Worst still they say they can accommodate, you go to theirs and there's an old sheet on the front room floor. They don't want you in their bed, had that a couple of times, naturally I've not stayed.
Especially as both cheeky fuckers had been to my home and treated like welcomed guests: clueless some people!
Erm, we tend to do this actually. We have a mattress we cover up and bring down when our FB is over. Simply put, it means we can make much more noise and not worry about waking up the kiddy-wink "
As long as all involved are happy then there seems to be nothing wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Both myself and my husband have single profiles as well as a couples profile, we do state we are married and the other half knows what we do. On all three we say we can't accomodate. Have you any idea how many folk we get message us saying that our other halves obviously don't know or we would accomodate.... we say 'don't accomodate' as there isn't an option for 'won't accomodate' as we choose not to ...there, rant over! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If a guy can't accomodate, then i dont see why i should...
I've always pushed the accomadation issue as many say they can, but really they cant.
So for me, i would rather meet someone that is single, not involved and can do spontanious meets at random! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If a guy can't accomodate, then i dont see why i should...
I've always pushed the accomadation issue as many say they can, but really they cant.
So for me, i would rather meet someone that is single, not involved and can do spontanious meets at random!"
Fair enough if he can't. What if he offers a hotel and for the spontaneous and random, would you be meeting them at your place? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a guy can't accomodate, then i dont see why i should...
I've always pushed the accomadation issue as many say they can, but really they cant.
So for me, i would rather meet someone that is single, not involved and can do spontanious meets at random!
Fair enough if he can't. What if he offers a hotel and for the spontaneous and random, would you be meeting them at your place?"
NO i would offer half the cost of the hotel.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If a guy can't accomodate, then i dont see why i should...
I've always pushed the accomadation issue as many say they can, but really they cant.
So for me, i would rather meet someone that is single, not involved and can do spontanious meets at random!
Fair enough if he can't. What if he offers a hotel and for the spontaneous and random, would you be meeting them at your place?
NO i would offer half the cost of the hotel.."
That's ideal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I accommodate but only after I've had a social meet. I live in a small village full of nosey parkers so I have to be very careful what I do! It does annoy me when men assume I'll accommodate when they won't. I had one man say he didn't want anyone from Fab in his home, yet he was quite happy to assume I'd let him into mine. The conversation ended there! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I only meet men who can accommodate, that way I know they are really single (counts takeaway menu's and meals for one!!)I won't do hotels, cars or the great outdoors! Probably unjustly I always think, unless stated why in their profile, that men who can't accommodate are married or have a partner!"
You're missing out ..on a lot there darling
(Waits for onslaught) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I accommodate but only after I've had a social meet. I live in a small village full of nosey parkers so I have to be very careful what I do! It does annoy me when men assume I'll accommodate when they won't. I had one man say he didn't want anyone from Fab in his home, yet he was quite happy to assume I'd let him into mine. The conversation ended there! "
Well tact and etiquette is lost on some. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I only meet men who can accommodate, that way I know they are really single (counts takeaway menu's and meals for one!!)I won't do hotels, cars or the great outdoors! Probably unjustly I always think, unless stated why in their profile, that men who can't accommodate are married or have a partner!"
Same here |
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"I do have to say 1 of the things that makes me really angry on here is when a guy says on his profile he can accomodate but then you get chatting to him about meeting, well it turns out he can't. It really annoys me, be honest from the start and your get further!
Worst still they say they can accommodate, you go to theirs and there's an old sheet on the front room floor. They don't want you in their bed, had that a couple of times, naturally I've not stayed.
Especially as both cheeky fuckers had been to my home and treated like welcomed guests: clueless some people!
Erm, we tend to do this actually. We have a mattress we cover up and bring down when our FB is over. Simply put, it means we can make much more noise and not worry about waking up the kiddy-wink "
I'm a 52 year old size 22 woman with dodgy knees. After resting their carcasses on my Egyptian sheets and memory foam mattress, in my lovely West Dulwich home, throwing an old sheet on their council house floor was insulting!
Their council house location didn't bother me, before people kick off! |
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" I had one man say he didn't want anyone from Fab in his home, yet he was quite happy to assume I'd let him into mine. The conversation ended there! "
The very reason I don't meet men who don't accommodate! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I do have to say 1 of the things that makes me really angry on here is when a guy says on his profile he can accomodate but then you get chatting to him about meeting, well it turns out he can't. It really annoys me, be honest from the start and your get further!
Worst still they say they can accommodate, you go to theirs and there's an old sheet on the front room floor. They don't want you in their bed, had that a couple of times, naturally I've not stayed.
Especially as both cheeky fuckers had been to my home and treated like welcomed guests: clueless some people!
Erm, we tend to do this actually. We have a mattress we cover up and bring down when our FB is over. Simply put, it means we can make much more noise and not worry about waking up the kiddy-wink
I'm a 52 year old size 22 woman with dodgy knees. After resting their carcasses on my Egyptian sheets and memory foam mattress, in my lovely West Dulwich home, throwing an old sheet on their council house floor was insulting!
Their council house location didn't bother me, before people kick off! "
There should be a level of decorum that should be carried out when having a meet at your own place. For them to think that an old sheet on the floor is sufficient, after coming to your house and being treated as a guest is so unbecoming that I wonder how they get on, on actual dates and such. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd rather use hotel's than go to people's homes
Feels safer to me to be honest."
I can understand the need to at least meet at the hotel. If I could, I'd only invite to my place after I feel comfortable with the person. |
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"I'd rather use hotel's than go to people's homes
Feels safer to me to be honest.
I can understand the need to at least meet at the hotel. If I could, I'd only invite to my place after I feel comfortable with the person."
Women have gone to hotels and found their meet there with a group of his friends: that could never happen in your home.
Interesting op you state you'd have to feel comfortable with the person to invite them to your home, but you have no qualms going along to theirs.
It's that double standard that annoys me! |
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I don't accommodate for purely safety reasons - there are all kinds of nutters on the internet and most have messaged me at some time!
So I have a first meet for coffee in a public place then prefer play meets in hotels or clubs.
I don't discriminate against men who don't accommodate but I am regularly amused by how many claim to be unattached but have all the clues in their profile and messages - you won't meet in a public place? You can't book a hotel? You don't accom and know I don't but push and push for coffee at mine then accuse me of being married? You kick off cos you make it so hard to arrange a meet and then you notice that I've got a New veri...
The internet is full of people who have reinvented themselves, sometimes for confidence but mostly to get what they want when they want it and with no remorse about lying. So it's a fine art to find the ones who are straightforward and upfront about who and what they are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Women have gone to hotels and found their meet there with a group of his friends: that could never happen in your home."
Someone I meet from here a few years ago told me a story like this. One of his lady friends turned up at a hotel for a meet and there were three men in the room. Luckily she was able to leave, get to her car and ring him. She was pretty shaken up and in tears. It did put me off meeting anyone in a hotel I have to admit! |
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"Women have gone to hotels and found their meet there with a group of his friends: that could never happen in your home.
Someone I meet from here a few years ago told me a story like this. One of his lady friends turned up at a hotel for a meet and there were three men in the room. Luckily she was able to leave, get to her car and ring him. She was pretty shaken up and in tears. It did put me off meeting anyone in a hotel I have to admit! "
There have been quite a few ladies that have posted their experiences on here: not all have ended well. Some have met in pubs and their meet have bought their mates along fir a laugh. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd rather use hotel's than go to people's homes
Feels safer to me to be honest.
I can understand the need to at least meet at the hotel. If I could, I'd only invite to my place after I feel comfortable with the person.
Women have gone to hotels and found their meet there with a group of his friends: that could never happen in your home.
Interesting op you state you'd have to feel comfortable with the person to invite them to your home, but you have no qualms going along to theirs.
It's that double standard that annoys me! "
I didn't mean it in that way. I simply meant that there may be times where a few social meets may happen first before anything goes further. It's not always the case for everyone, there will be times where the first meet may end up going very well and being invited back to mine would be the ideal choice. I'd rather first a social meet or chat first to know the person a bit. |
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I personally wouldn't allow a stranger into my home until I knew them a little and wouldn't expect anyone else to let me in their home without knowing me a little either. But saying that I'm a little bit oldskool and couldn't do a drop of the hat meet either.
But each to their own and there's enough people on this site (especially men) for everyone to find people they are compatible with. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't accommodate for purely safety reasons - there are all kinds of nutters on the internet and most have messaged me at some time!
So I have a first meet for coffee in a public place then prefer play meets in hotels or clubs.
I don't discriminate against men who don't accommodate but I am regularly amused by how many claim to be unattached but have all the clues in their profile and messages - you won't meet in a public place? You can't book a hotel? You don't accom and know I don't but push and push for coffee at mine then accuse me of being married? You kick off cos you make it so hard to arrange a meet and then you notice that I've got a New veri...
The internet is full of people who have reinvented themselves, sometimes for confidence but mostly to get what they want when they want it and with no remorse about lying. So it's a fine art to find the ones who are straightforward and upfront about who and what they are."
Meeting at a public place would be the ideal for me too. Only reason I can't accomodate is because of family and I'm unattached hence why I can join and socialise on this site. I don't understand the need to cheat when you have someone you are committed to. I'd rather meet in public first and if things go well, then a hotel or even plan to meet at a club. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Women have gone to hotels and found their meet there with a group of his friends: that could never happen in your home.
Someone I meet from here a few years ago told me a story like this. One of his lady friends turned up at a hotel for a meet and there were three men in the room. Luckily she was able to leave, get to her car and ring him. She was pretty shaken up and in tears. It did put me off meeting anyone in a hotel I have to admit! "
I'm not keen of group meets especially when it's not arranged properly. There's the risk of meeting when thinking it's one to one and it turns out to be different. Even when people seem to be genuine in person, it's still hard to know what they are really like. I do feel for your friend. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Women have gone to hotels and found their meet there with a group of his friends: that could never happen in your home.
Someone I meet from here a few years ago told me a story like this. One of his lady friends turned up at a hotel for a meet and there were three men in the room. Luckily she was able to leave, get to her car and ring him. She was pretty shaken up and in tears. It did put me off meeting anyone in a hotel I have to admit!
There have been quite a few ladies that have posted their experiences on here: not all have ended well. Some have met in pubs and their meet have bought their mates along fir a laugh. "
I guess to some, this is just another way to get a laugh. It takes one person to create a bad image for the rest. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I personally wouldn't allow a stranger into my home until I knew them a little and wouldn't expect anyone else to let me in their home without knowing me a little either. But saying that I'm a little bit oldskool and couldn't do a drop of the hat meet either.
But each to their own and there's enough people on this site (especially men) for everyone to find people they are compatible with. "
I agree with the not letting a stranger into your place until you know them a bit better, but what about scenarios such as night clubs and one night stands. Sometimes it's two strangers who get close and either way someone, goes back to the others place even though they may have just known each other for a few ours. I still say it's dependant on the two people involved and what the interaction is like. |
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"I only meet men who can accommodate, that way I know they are really single (counts takeaway menu's and meals for one!!)I won't do hotels, cars or the great outdoors! Probably unjustly I always think, unless stated why in their profile, that men who can't accommodate are married or have a partner!"
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"I do have to say 1 of the things that makes me really angry on here is when a guy says on his profile he can accomodate but then you get chatting to him about meeting, well it turns out he can't. It really annoys me, be honest from the start and your get further!"
I can completely relate to that! Well said! If a guy ever lies to me and I find out that they are dishonest in any way I cut them off. Plenty of honest and trustworthy guys out there that are suffering at the hands of these eejits!! |
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"Both myself and my husband have single profiles as well as a couples profile, we do state we are married and the other half knows what we do. On all three we say we can't accomodate. Have you any idea how many folk we get message us saying that our other halves obviously don't know or we would accomodate.... we say 'don't accomodate' as there isn't an option for 'won't accomodate' as we choose not to ...there, rant over! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We do not accomodate, as we have children, and even when we have them looked after by other people, it is at our home.
We would nto dictate to others that they should accomodate, but obviously if niether party accomodates, it can make the logistics of meeting a little complicated.
For this reason we only tend to make contact with couples who DO accomodate.
It works fine for us, after all, so openly state they can not travel .
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We do not accomodate, as we have children, and even when we have them looked after by other people, it is at our home.
We would nto dictate to others that they should accomodate, but obviously if niether party accomodates, it can make the logistics of meeting a little complicated.
For this reason we only tend to make contact with couples who DO accomodate.
It works fine for us, after all, so openly state they can not travel .
"
As long as it works for the both of you then all is well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do have to say 1 of the things that makes me really angry on here is when a guy says on his profile he can accomodate but then you get chatting to him about meeting, well it turns out he can't. It really annoys me, be honest from the start and your get further!"
I've had that recently arranged a meet with a guy after chatting for a couple of weeks ... he says would it bother you if I told you I am married? Totalled clearly states no married or in a relationship men .... waste of typing chatting to him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't accommodate by choice, and prefer to meet at hotels rather than at a stranger's home.
However, I would like to know the reason(s) why a gent cannot accommodate though.
There are other ways to establish if a gent is truly single apart from his ability to accommodate, IMHO.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I do have to say 1 of the things that makes me really angry on here is when a guy says on his profile he can accomodate but then you get chatting to him about meeting, well it turns out he can't. It really annoys me, be honest from the start and your get further!
I've had that recently arranged a meet with a guy after chatting for a couple of weeks ... he says would it bother you if I told you I am married? Totalled clearly states no married or in a relationship men .... waste of typing chatting to him "
Sucks to be him. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't accommodate by choice, and prefer to meet at hotels rather than at a stranger's home.
However, I would like to know the reason(s) why a gent cannot accommodate though.
There are other ways to establish if a gent is truly single apart from his ability to accommodate, IMHO.
"
Can't all be lucky as to have a place that's my own. In truth the hotel is the best neutral ground for the meet but it does come with the image of maybe the other person sneaking around. Best thing is to probably just keep being yourself and hope that others do the same. |
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"I only meet men who can accommodate, that way I know they are really single (counts takeaway menu's and meals for one!!)I won't do hotels, cars or the great outdoors! Probably unjustly I always think, unless stated why in their profile, that men who can't accommodate are married or have a partner!"
How about truly single guys that flat share and therefore can't easily accommodate for quite valid reasons? |
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"I only meet men who can accommodate, that way I know they are really single (counts takeaway menu's and meals for one!!)I won't do hotels, cars or the great outdoors! Probably unjustly I always think, unless stated why in their profile, that men who can't accommodate are married or have a partner!
How about truly single guys that flat share and therefore can't easily accommodate for quite valid reasons?"
Life is unfair. There are single men who would genuinely like to accommodate but for whatever reason can't. For me, it's not about whether they're married or not, although my way excludes them by default, it's to ensure the "not coming to my house, it's not a knocking shop, but I'll come to yours" brigade. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whether someone can accommodate or not is no big deal as I am more interested in what they are like and I know that some people have children living with them or share a house. It is better if they can as I cannot but it wouldn't stop me meeting them |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I only meet men who can accommodate, that way I know they are really single (counts takeaway menu's and meals for one!!)I won't do hotels, cars or the great outdoors! Probably unjustly I always think, unless stated why in their profile, that men who can't accommodate are married or have a partner!
How about truly single guys that flat share and therefore can't easily accommodate for quite valid reasons?
Life is unfair. There are single men who would genuinely like to accommodate but for whatever reason can't. For me, it's not about whether they're married or not, although my way excludes them by default, it's to ensure the "not coming to my house, it's not a knocking shop, but I'll come to yours" brigade."
Well there will always be those who will see their homes, as some special sanctuary and will make the dumbest and insulting reason as to why they, cannot bring back anyone but are more than willing to come to yours. It still seems like a game of luck, since it's not always easy to find those who are on the same wavelength as yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Whether someone can accommodate or not is no big deal as I am more interested in what they are like and I know that some people have children living with them or share a house. It is better if they can as I cannot but it wouldn't stop me meeting them"
What the person is like should be the first thing to matter. But I feel that sometimes it's not always true. |
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"Whether someone can accommodate or not is no big deal as I am more interested in what they are like and I know that some people have children living with them or share a house. It is better if they can as I cannot but it wouldn't stop me meeting them"
Absolutely Kytten - the person is always more important than whether they can accommodate. Besides, if I can't accommodate for any reason I always do the gentlemanly thing and offer to book a nice hotel! |
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"Whether someone can accommodate or not is no big deal as I am more interested in what they are like and I know that some people have children living with them or share a house. It is better if they can as I cannot but it wouldn't stop me meeting them
Absolutely Kytten - the person is always more important than whether they can accommodate. Besides, if I can't accommodate for any reason I always do the gentlemanly thing and offer to book a nice hotel!"
I'm truly curious. To those that say it's the person, are you seriously telling me you'd invite into your home someone who told you they'd never invite you into theirs?!!
Honestly?!! |
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"Whether someone can accommodate or not is no big deal as I am more interested in what they are like and I know that some people have children living with them or share a house. It is better if they can as I cannot but it wouldn't stop me meeting them
Absolutely Kytten - the person is always more important than whether they can accommodate. Besides, if I can't accommodate for any reason I always do the gentlemanly thing and offer to book a nice hotel!
I'm truly curious. To those that say it's the person, are you seriously telling me you'd invite into your home someone who told you they'd never invite you into theirs?!!
Honestly?!! "
I'd completely respect someone who wasn't able to invite me on that occasion - life is complicated - and sometimes with the best will in the world it's not an option (housemates; children; relatives etc. etc. etc.) |
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"Whether someone can accommodate or not is no big deal as I am more interested in what they are like and I know that some people have children living with them or share a house. It is better if they can as I cannot but it wouldn't stop me meeting them
Absolutely Kytten - the person is always more important than whether they can accommodate. Besides, if I can't accommodate for any reason I always do the gentlemanly thing and offer to book a nice hotel!
I'm truly curious. To those that say it's the person, are you seriously telling me you'd invite into your home someone who told you they'd never invite you into theirs?!!
Honestly?!!
I'd completely respect someone who wasn't able to invite me on that occasion - life is complicated - and sometimes with the best will in the world it's not an option (housemates; children; relatives etc. etc. etc.) "
Sorry, you're missing my point. I'm talking someone who COULD invite you, no kids, no wife, they just don't want you in their home as it's sacrosanct, but they want to come to yours. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do have to say 1 of the things that makes me really angry on here is when a guy says on his profile he can accomodate but then you get chatting to him about meeting, well it turns out he can't. It really annoys me, be honest from the start and your get further!"
we have had that twice this weekend whats the point in saying you can if you cant  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Whether someone can accommodate or not is no big deal as I am more interested in what they are like and I know that some people have children living with them or share a house. It is better if they can as I cannot but it wouldn't stop me meeting them
Absolutely Kytten - the person is always more important than whether they can accommodate. Besides, if I can't accommodate for any reason I always do the gentlemanly thing and offer to book a nice hotel!
I'm truly curious. To those that say it's the person, are you seriously telling me you'd invite into your home someone who told you they'd never invite you into theirs?!!
Honestly?!! "
I wouldn't invite anyone who wouldn't do the same for me. It would make me wonder why they wouldn't and be suspicious of their reasons. |
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By *astpoetMan
over a year ago
where the world takes me |
I've never understood the idea that if you can't accomodate you're not single.
Most of the time i can't accomodate since my flatmate is in and it's a small flat.
Now given i'm more than a touch kinky i don't really want him knowing about my hobby  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Really annoys me when people have a go because i can accom but i have tenants who are students and if they found out and told the uni i would loose my tenants and thats what pays my Mortgage! |
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"Really annoys me when people have a go because i can accom but i have tenants who are students and if they found out and told the uni i would loose my tenants and thats what pays my Mortgage!"
I didn't realise the rules were so strict... do they really insist on celibacy?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Really annoys me when people have a go because i can accom but i have tenants who are students and if they found out and told the uni i would loose my tenants and thats what pays my Mortgage!
I didn't realise the rules were so strict... do they really insist on celibacy?
"
No but activity like swinging is frowned apon with having foreign students in the house i dont make the rules swinging is a fun hobby my house is my life and they pay the mortgage |
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"Whether someone can accommodate or not is no big deal as I am more interested in what they are like and I know that some people have children living with them or share a house. It is better if they can as I cannot but it wouldn't stop me meeting them
Absolutely Kytten - the person is always more important than whether they can accommodate. Besides, if I can't accommodate for any reason I always do the gentlemanly thing and offer to book a nice hotel!
I'm truly curious. To those that say it's the person, are you seriously telling me you'd invite into your home someone who told you they'd never invite you into theirs?!!
Honestly?!!
I'd completely respect someone who wasn't able to invite me on that occasion - life is complicated - and sometimes with the best will in the world it's not an option (housemates; children; relatives etc. etc. etc.)
Sorry, you're missing my point. I'm talking someone who COULD invite you, no kids, no wife, they just don't want you in their home as it's sacrosanct, but they want to come to yours. "
I completely agree - that WOULD be weird! Trouble is that if you can't people assume that perhaps you just won't...
X |
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"I've never understood the idea that if you can't accomodate you're not single.
Most of the time i can't accomodate since my flatmate is in and it's a small flat.
Now given i'm more than a touch kinky i don't really want him knowing about my hobby "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Whether someone can accommodate or not is no big deal as I am more interested in what they are like and I know that some people have children living with them or share a house. It is better if they can as I cannot but it wouldn't stop me meeting them
Absolutely Kytten - the person is always more important than whether they can accommodate. Besides, if I can't accommodate for any reason I always do the gentlemanly thing and offer to book a nice hotel!
I'm truly curious. To those that say it's the person, are you seriously telling me you'd invite into your home someone who told you they'd never invite you into theirs?!!
Honestly?!!
I'd completely respect someone who wasn't able to invite me on that occasion - life is complicated - and sometimes with the best will in the world it's not an option (housemates; children; relatives etc. etc. etc.)
Sorry, you're missing my point. I'm talking someone who COULD invite you, no kids, no wife, they just don't want you in their home as it's sacrosanct, but they want to come to yours.
I completely agree - that WOULD be weird! Trouble is that if you can't people assume that perhaps you just won't...
X"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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All in all there will always be certain preferences and factors, that people look out for and are after when it comes to the subject of accommodation. It's been interesting to read the various opinions and thoughts and didn't think that it was quite the subject that it turned out to be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I rarely accommodate as its my home and with the business I coown I have to be careful.
and I like my privacy so if I invited someone here it wouldnt be a one off
as for men who cant accom idont judge |
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"Whether someone can accommodate or not is no big deal as I am more interested in what they are like and I know that some people have children living with them or share a house. It is better if they can as I cannot but it wouldn't stop me meeting them
Absolutely Kytten - the person is always more important than whether they can accommodate. Besides, if I can't accommodate for any reason I always do the gentlemanly thing and offer to book a nice hotel!
I'm truly curious. To those that say it's the person, are you seriously telling me you'd invite into your home someone who told you they'd never invite you into theirs?!!
Honestly?!!
I'd completely respect someone who wasn't able to invite me on that occasion - life is complicated - and sometimes with the best will in the world it's not an option (housemates; children; relatives etc. etc. etc.)
Sorry, you're missing my point. I'm talking someone who COULD invite you, no kids, no wife, they just don't want you in their home as it's sacrosanct, but they want to come to yours.
I completely agree - that WOULD be weird! Trouble is that if you can't people assume that perhaps you just won't...
X"
Thing is 99% of my meets are at my home and I never questioned whether playmates could accommodate or not. It was just by chance I mentioned to a playmate - we were in my bed at the time - that our next meeting would be at his as my daughter was coming home from uni when he said he didn't let people he met off the internet into his house.
From that moment I no longer meet anyone who doesn't accommodate: I don't care why!
A phrase I thought I'd never write: some single men spoil it for the rest! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Whether someone can accommodate or not is no big deal as I am more interested in what they are like and I know that some people have children living with them or share a house. It is better if they can as I cannot but it wouldn't stop me meeting them
Absolutely Kytten - the person is always more important than whether they can accommodate. Besides, if I can't accommodate for any reason I always do the gentlemanly thing and offer to book a nice hotel!
I'm truly curious. To those that say it's the person, are you seriously telling me you'd invite into your home someone who told you they'd never invite you into theirs?!!
Honestly?!!
I'd completely respect someone who wasn't able to invite me on that occasion - life is complicated - and sometimes with the best will in the world it's not an option (housemates; children; relatives etc. etc. etc.)
Sorry, you're missing my point. I'm talking someone who COULD invite you, no kids, no wife, they just don't want you in their home as it's sacrosanct, but they want to come to yours.
I completely agree - that WOULD be weird! Trouble is that if you can't people assume that perhaps you just won't...
X
Thing is 99% of my meets are at my home and I never questioned whether playmates could accommodate or not. It was just by chance I mentioned to a playmate - we were in my bed at the time - that our next meeting would be at his as my daughter was coming home from uni when he said he didn't let people he met off the internet into his house.
From that moment I no longer meet anyone who doesn't accommodate: I don't care why!
A phrase I thought I'd never write: some single men spoil it for the rest! "
It only takes one to ruin the fun for the rest of the group |
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"Whether someone can accommodate or not is no big deal as I am more interested in what they are like and I know that some people have children living with them or share a house. It is better if they can as I cannot but it wouldn't stop me meeting them
Absolutely Kytten - the person is always more important than whether they can accommodate. Besides, if I can't accommodate for any reason I always do the gentlemanly thing and offer to book a nice hotel!
I'm truly curious. To those that say it's the person, are you seriously telling me you'd invite into your home someone who told you they'd never invite you into theirs?!!
Honestly?!!
I'd completely respect someone who wasn't able to invite me on that occasion - life is complicated - and sometimes with the best will in the world it's not an option (housemates; children; relatives etc. etc. etc.)
Sorry, you're missing my point. I'm talking someone who COULD invite you, no kids, no wife, they just don't want you in their home as it's sacrosanct, but they want to come to yours.
I completely agree - that WOULD be weird! Trouble is that if you can't people assume that perhaps you just won't...
X
Thing is 99% of my meets are at my home and I never questioned whether playmates could accommodate or not. It was just by chance I mentioned to a playmate - we were in my bed at the time - that our next meeting would be at his as my daughter was coming home from uni when he said he didn't let people he met off the internet into his house.
From that moment I no longer meet anyone who doesn't accommodate: I don't care why!
A phrase I thought I'd never write: some single men spoil it for the rest! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whether someone can accommodate or not is no big deal as I am more interested in what they are like and I know that some people have children living with them or share a house. It is better if they can as I cannot but it wouldn't stop me meeting them
Absolutely Kytten - the person is always more important than whether they can accommodate. Besides, if I can't accommodate for any reason I always do the gentlemanly thing and offer to book a nice hotel!
I'm truly curious. To those that say it's the person, are you seriously telling me you'd invite into your home someone who told you they'd never invite you into theirs?!!
Honestly?!! "
Yes and no as it depends on the reason for not accommodating and I think you are missing the point Misstress. For you accommodating is higher on your list of priority than on mine and I understand your reason why. When I read a profile, I read all of it, accommodate is just a small part as I am happy to meet in hotels, you are not. I am aware that some live with family, house share etc, those people are of no interest to you. And really I want to like the person first then we will worry about accommodating. Besides, least if we choose a hotel, neither of us has to change the bed linen |
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