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Are you a good forgiver?
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
My old vicar used to say that you have never truly forgiven until you can forget. When you have let it go then you have forgiven.
It depends what it is. Most things I forgive. It doesn't mean that that person necessarily remains in my life though. |
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Interesting question...
I've forgiven things that I think a lot of people would class as "unforgivable", yet things others have said "it's not important" I seem to struggle most with.
I think that's because the "big" things you have to let go otherwise they end up controlling you're life, and it's just not worth it.
Whereas the smaller things we can carry around with us a lot more easily.... And gives us something to moan about when we're down.
D |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A very wise man once said..."hate the sin, but love the sinner." I do forgive (except my exwife...may she burn in the 9th level of hell). People make bad choices. If we don't learn from our mistakes though, we're doomed to repeat them over and over again. So if somebody has hurt you, you need to let them know. If the wound is bad enough, you need to tell them that you no longer wish to associate with them. I've had to do that with a few dear friends over the years myself. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Who is the forgiveness for? You either want to keep people in your life or you are content to let them go.
If someone is seeking your forgiveness then I would want to know what is driving that. If you want to bestow forgiveness that also needs looking at.
I'm going to be thinking about this all evening now! Unforgivable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It depends on all the factors - who it was, what it was, how it effects you etc. Most of the time I will forgive, but there are some things that just can't be - well maybe they can, but it takes a better person than I am. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It depends on all the factors - who it was, what it was, how it effects you etc. Most of the time I will forgive, but there are some things that just can't be - well maybe they can, but it takes a better person than I am."
+1 |
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"In some respects I am, in other respects my god do I hold a grudge.
Are you a good forgiver or are you like an elephant and never forget?"
Never forget but had the cheek to tell my sister earlier today to let something go: our other sister upset her in August 1996 and she's not forgiven her!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i cant forgive myself for certain things i have done, even though i wasnt to blame.
i forgive people i care about but dont always forget, sometimes if someone has hurt you, you cant help thinking will they do it again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I use to forgive and forget but got shit on to much, Now I forgive mainly the people that mean something to me, we all make mistakes but it does depend on the severity |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If its someone lying to me then no I am very unlikely to forgive and have many a times left friendships behind.
If it's a white lie then I might forgive/forget and carry on but it would depend on the circumstances.
What I dont do is hold a grudge and drag it up over and over again, Once it is done, it is done. Discussed, processed and left behind  |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"In some respects I am, in other respects my god do I hold a grudge.
Are you a good forgiver or are you like an elephant and never forget?"
Depends on who, what..... Wouldn't say I forgive as I rarely forget if someone has wronged me. Just tend to get my feelings out in the open and try to move forward.
Mr B tends to hold a grudge and doesn't forgive or forget. Once you have crossed the line there is no going back with him.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting question...
I've forgiven things that I think a lot of people would class as "unforgivable", yet things others have said "it's not important" I seem to struggle most with.
I think that's because the "big" things you have to let go otherwise they end up controlling you're life, and it's just not worth it.
Whereas the smaller things we can carry around with us a lot more easily.... And gives us something to moan about when we're down.
D"
 this |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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See as crazy as this sounds I've forgiven the shit who used me as a punch bag when I was 18 and who made me miscarry, if I forgive him I hold no feelings towards him.
However my ex who had a 2 year affair, I can't forgive him, he didn't physically hurt me but his affair was the last 2 years of Dad's life. I can't forgive him. |
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Depends on who or what needs forgiving. If someone pisses me off i just write them out of my life. But some people i will forgive, just dont take the piss.
Negative emotions are draining and its not good to let someone have a negative impact on your life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm really bad at this stuff I'm like an elephant I never forget and most times brush it under the carpet don't think I've ever truly forgave someone for something they've done  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have no problems whatsoever forgiving someone regarding me being directly impacted in some way. However I simply cannot forgive anybody who has negatively impacted my family in any way, shape or form, even when said family member has forgiven them, the best I could do is tolerate them but this would be for my family's sake only. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmmmm.... It does depend on what it was and whos involved i feel...
Some things cannot be forgiven.
Like a gp who wouldnt put my mum in hospital and gave her paracetamol and false diagnosis!!!
Hope he dies a slow painful death!,.... Alone and in the dark and cold!!
Will NEVER forgive |
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