Before I start. I’m married and my wife doesn’t know I’m here, or have strayed. There are reasons why Im on here, fabswingers and fabguys and have been for a number of years.
However I’m trying to reconnect with my wife, in every aspect were strong, just our sex life has been non existent for far too long.
When we do have sex it’s great, but it’s a rare occurrence.
We talk about it, and say we should try things and enjoy each other more but it never seems to happen. Life seems to get in the way and we carry on as our normal. And I want it to change.
Does anyone have suggestions? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Buy a Doxy and a decent blind fold. Get bergamot, sandalwood, vanilla room diffuser/mist along with a fab guy for starters, you as middle man and someone for afters. "
For the love of god make sure she knows about the other guy in advance and it's not a secret while she can't see. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *edhead72Man 2 days ago
Cheltenham and Ashby |
Buy a diary
Put weekly meetings in the diary
Discuss topics of intimacy, where you are and where you’d like to be.
Be open and honest with your self and her
Become self reflecting
Listen
Talk (but mostly listen)
Be gentle with each other |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don’t want to trick her, or do anything without her consent.
The thought of others joining is something I’ve thought about but no idea how to suggest it. Maybe after we rekindle our sex life I can be more open. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We’ve been together a long time, since uni. At first our sex life was rampant, however a bout of glandular fever knocked her libido and nothing it didn’t return. After nearly a decade she was diagnosed with endometriosis and after numerous surgeries it’s manageable.
It has made us stronger but with little to no sex life.
At first I would try to initiate things but she wasn’t in the mood, it really hit her lability, self confidence. Eventually I stopped trying, got used to wanking, then porn, internet, chat rooms, then fab like sites.
Occasionally we will have fun, usually in holiday and wonder why we don’t more often. Then when back we get into the same routine. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We’ve been together a long time, since uni. At first our sex life was rampant, however a bout of glandular fever knocked her libido and nothing it didn’t return. After nearly a decade she was diagnosed with endometriosis and after numerous surgeries it’s manageable.
It has made us stronger but with little to no sex life.
At first I would try to initiate things but she wasn’t in the mood, it really hit her lability, self confidence. Eventually I stopped trying, got used to wanking, then porn, internet, chat rooms, then fab like sites.
Occasionally we will have fun, usually in holiday and wonder why we don’t more often. Then when back we get into the same routine."
Take a few more weekend easy jet hols (Thurs - Sun), have a change of scenery, get some vit D. People always get an uplift from sunnier climates (and take a doxy and blindfold). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If she’s not up for sex with you that often then she probably won’t be up for sex with you and someone else.
Is there a reason why it’s infrequent?
You need to go back to basics."
Yes, bit of fingerings in the cinema back row.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Occasionally we will have fun, usually in holiday and wonder why we don’t more often. Then when back we get into the same routine.
Well focus what changes when you are on holiday, the answer is there.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Occasionally we will have fun, usually in holiday and wonder why we don’t more often. Then when back we get into the same routine.
Well focus what changes when you are on holiday, the answer is there.
"
We have made a few changes recently which should help and give more balance to our lives. So i’m hopeful.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hide your profiles and focus on your relationship. Ensure your wife has time and space to focus too. "
Easier said than done. Fab is kinda addictive. But will try.
Was initially going to create a post asking about sex toys or tips. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hide your profiles and focus on your relationship. Ensure your wife has time and space to focus too.
Easier said than done. Fab is kinda addictive. But will try.
Was initially going to create a post asking about sex toys or tips."
I'm pointing out the obvious here but how can you hope to improve your relationship with your wife if your attention is elsewhere and you're describing it as 'kinda addictive'?
Your wife might not know intellectually that your attention is elsewhere but she probably knows on an instinctive level.
You describe your relationship in good terms, would your wife if she was fully aware of your extra curricular activities?
Personally I'm not bothered by what you do because it doesn't affect me. Just pointing out these things for your consideration in terms of your relationship |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
Take a few more weekend easy jet hols (Thurs - Sun), have a change of scenery, get some vit D. People always get an uplift from sunnier climates (and take a doxy and blindfold).
What’s a doxy?"
It's a sex toy for women. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Brilliant, we’ve used a bullet before and she loved it. Had bought other vibrators, dildos, even a strap on (trying to be subtle) with harness which haven’t even been used. But a doxy looks like a good idea, was initially looking at clit suckers |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
I'm pointing out the obvious here but how can you hope to improve your relationship with your wife if your attention is elsewhere and you're describing it as 'kinda addictive'?
Your wife might not know intellectually that your attention is elsewhere but she probably knows on an instinctive level.
You describe your relationship in good terms, would your wife if she was fully aware of your extra curricular activities?
Personally I'm not bothered by what you do because it doesn't affect me. Just pointing out these things for your consideration in terms of your relationship "
I know you’re right.
My brain & heart says one thing, but sometimes, most of the time something else shouts louder.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
I'm pointing out the obvious here but how can you hope to improve your relationship with your wife if your attention is elsewhere and you're describing it as 'kinda addictive'?
Your wife might not know intellectually that your attention is elsewhere but she probably knows on an instinctive level.
You describe your relationship in good terms, would your wife if she was fully aware of your extra curricular activities?
Personally I'm not bothered by what you do because it doesn't affect me. Just pointing out these things for your consideration in terms of your relationship
I know you’re right.
My brain & heart says one thing, but sometimes, most of the time something else shouts louder.
"
So you want the best of both worlds?
Got ya'! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Buy a Doxy and a decent blind fold. Get bergamot, sandalwood, vanilla room diffuser/mist along with a fab guy for starters, you as middle man and someone for afters. "
Good grief no. That could be the quickest way to end a relationship. That definitely needs a discussion  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Before I start. I’m married and my wife doesn’t know I’m here, or have strayed. There are reasons why Im on here, fabswingers and fabguys and have been for a number of years.
However I’m trying to reconnect with my wife, in every aspect were strong, just our sex life has been non existent for far too long.
When we do have sex it’s great, but it’s a rare occurrence.
We talk about it, and say we should try things and enjoy each other more but it never seems to happen. Life seems to get in the way and we carry on as our normal. And I want it to change.
Does anyone have suggestions?"
Talk, which you've done. Get outside help, which it sounds like you haven't. Find a way to be open with her about your life away from her, and what might be tolerable to you both and what might not - and what might be enjoyable, and what might not.
I think happiness always depends on life treating us better than we deserve, but fate can be kind and it sounds like you have something you both want to preserve and rehabilitate. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If you was strong in every aspect besides sex then you would be able to sit down and have a hard and honest conversation with your wife.
If you honestly wanted to sort things out you would put less effort into meeting people for sex on sites like this and more effort into sorting your marriage out..
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
