FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Things men should know.
Things men should know.
Jump to: Newest in thread
Ladies, they say we're a mystery, that we're hard to please, they don't get us.
But we know, we're really quite simple little beans.
For example, if we take the time to shave our legs, we like them to stroke them and say wow, they are so smooth! (+10 shagability points)
Doea anyone have any other little nuggets of wisdom to share with the menfolk?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You look even more wonderful out of clothes. Just stunning
Love that hairstyle, really suits you.
This is definately a dress to kill outfit.
You look like someone who does not need to make much effort to look so beautiful.
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You look even more wonderful out of clothes. Just stunning
Love that hairstyle, really suits you.
This is definately a dress to kill outfit.
You look like someone who does not need to make much effort to look so beautiful.
"
MB!! Did it just get hot in here?!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Nine arts have I, all noble;
I play at chess so free,
At ravelling runes I’m ready,
At books and smithery;
I’m skill’d o’er ice at skimming
On skates, I shoot and row,
And few at harping match me,
Or minstrelsy, I trow. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We want to feel desired! And that can be shown in lots of different ways:
* asking questions and actively listening to the answer
* honesty
* affirmations through words (“you’re hot”) and actions (eye contact, being tactile)
* doing what you say you’re going to do (both in and out of the bedroom)
Some of those things may be difficult if neuro divergent, if that’s the case, being open about how you may show desire in different ways is really helpful. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Every woman has different needs so trying to match your approach to her needs is a skill on its own and good for compatibility.
Be a gentleman, be trustworthy and honest. But stimulate her mind first.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *ags73Man 2 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"Ladies, they say we're a mystery, that we're hard to please, they don't get us.
But we know, we're really quite simple little beans.
For example, if we take the time to shave our legs, we like them to stroke them and say wow, they are so smooth! (+10 shagability points)
Doea anyone have any other little nuggets of wisdom to share with the menfolk? "
That’s a Lainey Wilson song - what a man ought to know. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We want to feel desired! And that can be shown in lots of different ways:
* asking questions and actively listening to the answer
* honesty
* affirmations through words (“you’re hot”) and actions (eye contact, being tactile)
* doing what you say you’re going to do (both in and out of the bedroom)
Some of those things may be difficult if neuro divergent, if that’s the case, being open about how you may show desire in different ways is really helpful."
Can't we just bring chocolate?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 2 weeks ago
|
"We want to feel desired! And that can be shown in lots of different ways:
* asking questions and actively listening to the answer
* honesty
* affirmations through words (“you’re hot”) and actions (eye contact, being tactile)
* doing what you say you’re going to do (both in and out of the bedroom)
Some of those things may be difficult if neuro divergent, if that’s the case, being open about how you may show desire in different ways is really helpful.
Can't we just bring chocolate? "
yeah chocolate and a gift voucher for shoes |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The path to a harmonious cohabiting relationship: let them load the dishwasher any way they want. "
Fuck. That's a big call. We knew their loading isn't as regimented and efficient. Cereal bowls do not belong on the upper shelf when they can be stacked below. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Give me quality orgasms, give me snacks and stroke my hair … as long as you don’t try to rim my belly button that’s as simple as it needs to be for me
Someone tried to rim your belly button?  🤣"
It’s been threatened … I’m ready to fight |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Give me quality orgasms, give me snacks and stroke my hair … as long as you don’t try to rim my belly button that’s as simple as it needs to be for me
Someone tried to rim your belly button? 🤣
It’s been threatened … I’m ready to fight "
That's gross...some proper perverts on here!!! What next? toe sucking 🤮.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Give me quality orgasms, give me snacks and stroke my hair … as long as you don’t try to rim my belly button that’s as simple as it needs to be for me
Someone tried to rim your belly button? 🤣
It’s been threatened … I’m ready to fight
That's gross...some proper perverts on here!!! What next? toe sucking 🤮...."
Just put them in the mouth and be quiet already |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Give me quality orgasms, give me snacks and stroke my hair … as long as you don’t try to rim my belly button that’s as simple as it needs to be for me
Someone tried to rim your belly button? 🤣
It’s been threatened … I’m ready to fight
That's gross...some proper perverts on here!!! What next? toe sucking 🤮....
Just put them in the mouth and be quiet already "
No one's smelly trotters are going anywhere near my mouth thank you.🥪 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Give me quality orgasms, give me snacks and stroke my hair … as long as you don’t try to rim my belly button that’s as simple as it needs to be for me
Someone tried to rim your belly button? 🤣
It’s been threatened … I’m ready to fight
That's gross...some proper perverts on here!!! What next? toe sucking 🤮....
Just put them in the mouth and be quiet already "
I’d nibble on those toes. Not touching your belly button though. Fuck knows when you last got rid of the fluff from there!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Give me quality orgasms, give me snacks and stroke my hair … as long as you don’t try to rim my belly button that’s as simple as it needs to be for me
Someone tried to rim your belly button? 🤣
It’s been threatened … I’m ready to fight
That's gross...some proper perverts on here!!! What next? toe sucking 🤮....
Just put them in the mouth and be quiet already
I’d nibble on those toes. Not touching your belly button though. Fuck knows when you last got rid of the fluff from there! "
Enough stuffing for a miniature teddy bear … |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’m insecure about all my squidgy bits. You avoiding them doesn’t make me feel better, only worse. I need you to embrace them. Give them a squeeze, soft gentle kisses, licks and strokes. Show me you like them, not that you’re afraid of them |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *emma200Woman 2 weeks ago
Warwickshire |
"I’m insecure about all my squidgy bits. You avoiding them doesn’t make me feel better, only worse. I need you to embrace them. Give them a squeeze, soft gentle kisses, licks and strokes. Show me you like them, not that you’re afraid of them "
This is so so true.. but for me minus the giving my chub a squeeze.. my bum and thighs yes.. my stomach not.. I think I’d cry 😂 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If you’re fortunate enough to be invited to the ladies house please remember to bring her her favourite flowers, you should know what she likes "
This isn't bumble...I turn up with a Johnny and a smile!!! 🥪 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If you’re fortunate enough to be invited to the ladies house please remember to bring her her favourite flowers, you should know what she likes
This isn't bumble...I turn up with a Johnny and a smile!!! 🥪"
Just one Johnny … that’ll be why it’s only you smiling |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If you’re fortunate enough to be invited to the ladies house please remember to bring her her favourite flowers, you should know what she likes
This isn't bumble...I turn up with a Johnny and a smile!!! 🥪
Just one Johnny … that’ll be why it’s only you smiling "
As long as I have a good time 🤷🏻♂️ ...next! 🥪 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m insecure about all my squidgy bits. You avoiding them doesn’t make me feel better, only worse. I need you to embrace them. Give them a squeeze, soft gentle kisses, licks and strokes. Show me you like them, not that you’re afraid of them
This is so so true.. but for me minus the giving my chub a squeeze.. my bum and thighs yes.. my stomach not.. I think I’d cry 😂"
Can't ladies come with personalised instructions in video format please. Not a booklet because we won't read it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m insecure about all my squidgy bits. You avoiding them doesn’t make me feel better, only worse. I need you to embrace them. Give them a squeeze, soft gentle kisses, licks and strokes. Show me you like them, not that you’re afraid of them
This is so so true.. but for me minus the giving my chub a squeeze.. my bum and thighs yes.. my stomach not.. I think I’d cry 😂"
Embrace your body ALL OF IT it's a gift from mother nature the more if it there the more there is to embrace |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You look even more wonderful out of clothes. Just stunning
Love that hairstyle, really suits you.
This is definately a dress to kill outfit.
You look like someone who does not need to make much effort to look so beautiful.
"
Yeah she is fit, got that min effort required to pull vibe. Very sexy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We want to feel desired! And that can be shown in lots of different ways:
* asking questions and actively listening to the answer
* honesty
* affirmations through words (“you’re hot”) and actions (eye contact, being tactile)
* doing what you say you’re going to do (both in and out of the bedroom)
Some of those things may be difficult if neuro divergent, if that’s the case, being open about how you may show desire in different ways is really helpful.
Can't we just bring chocolate? "
Prefer a nice bottle of wine ta 😜
Obviously if we’re just fucking anon, none of the above apply. Apart from eye contact and showing some interest in me getting off too haha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Give me quality orgasms, give me snacks and stroke my hair … as long as you don’t try to rim my belly button that’s as simple as it needs to be for me "
I can attest to this.. she is not afraid to use violence! 😂 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Give me quality orgasms, give me snacks and stroke my hair … as long as you don’t try to rim my belly button that’s as simple as it needs to be for me "
Is it wrong that I initially read that as "give me smacks"?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m insecure about all my squidgy bits. You avoiding them doesn’t make me feel better, only worse. I need you to embrace them. Give them a squeeze, soft gentle kisses, licks and strokes. Show me you like them, not that you’re afraid of them
This is so so true.. but for me minus the giving my chub a squeeze.. my bum and thighs yes.. my stomach not.. I think I’d cry 😂"
With you on this, just don't pay any attention to it. Leave it, don't mention it. Nothing is more of a mood killer than being reminded of my belly  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m insecure about all my squidgy bits. You avoiding them doesn’t make me feel better, only worse. I need you to embrace them. Give them a squeeze, soft gentle kisses, licks and strokes. Show me you like them, not that you’re afraid of them
This is so so true.. but for me minus the giving my chub a squeeze.. my bum and thighs yes.. my stomach not.. I think I’d cry 😂
With you on this, just don't pay any attention to it. Leave it, don't mention it. Nothing is more of a mood killer than being reminded of my belly "
What belly? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The best nugget I was told was just to ask questions and listen
Isn't that for interviewing serial killers ?"
Women/Serial Killers...... Same thing. 
J
*leaves thread like Usain Bolt out of the blocks.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If you’re fortunate enough to be invited to the ladies house please remember to bring her her favourite flowers, you should know what she likes
This isn't bumble...I turn up with a Johnny and a smile!!! 🥪"
...and a ham and cheese sarnie?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The thing is none of (most? I've not read it all) are highly subjective and individual based and are extre9far from one size fits all!
Setting us up to fail! "
The women do this deliberately just to test us men. You ask them what is the matter, they say nothing. But they don't mean nothing. They like to fuck with our heads.
Ps I used the the term men loosely to include trannies, & other associated weirdos with weird fetishes here on fab. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The thing is none of (most? I've not read it all) are highly subjective and individual based and are extre9far from one size fits all!
Setting us up to fail! "
In all fairness the the thread was supposed to be a bit of fun.
I was hoping for things like "make the post-sex brew = x5 shagability points". But it's fab.. and I didn't really explain it well at all |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ags73Man 2 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"The thing is none of (most? I've not read it all) are highly subjective and individual based and are extre9far from one size fits all!
Setting us up to fail!
In all fairness the the thread was supposed to be a bit of fun.
I was hoping for things like "make the post-sex brew = x5 shagability points". But it's fab.. and I didn't really explain it well at all "
I do coffee. Need to buys one tea bags |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"How do you make parallel parking look so difficult? 🤔
I take your still single. Or suicidal."
I too like to live dangerously.
Think about it.
When it comes to women, if they have curly hair, they buy straighteners. If they have straight hair they buy curlers. If they are blonde, they go brunette and if they're a brunette, they go blonde. If they have small boobs they want a boob job, if they have big boobs they want a reduction...etc etc etc.
I'll see myself out.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
U know what girls, guys and anyone else still up at this time of night. Here is the truth…… men, it’s not about the sex it’s not about how big your dick is or how much weight u lift in the gym……. It’s paying attention to detail that gets u in a girls head, noticing little things that they thought you’d never notice, and believe me…. They put traps out to see if u were awake!!!
Girls……
Us men aren’t complicated, and as I say this I guarantee there’s gonna be a few ‘ard men’ talking shit, but all is men need to know is that your happy, the kids are happy and all is good. But u know when we walk passed n smack ya ass all the time n u get mad wi us……. Try doing the same back to us pls girls cause it’d mean more to a lol of us than u realise |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If you’re fortunate enough to be invited to the ladies house please remember to bring her her favourite flowers, you should know what she likes
This isn't bumble...I turn up with a Johnny and a smile!!! 🥪
Just one Johnny … that’ll be why it’s only you smiling "
___
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"How do you make parallel parking look so difficult? 🤔
·
I take your still single. Or suicidal."
•
He's single by choice and of sound mind. Better still, I've witnessed first hand the amount of majestic women and ladies of substance he's had around his arms (one at a time, of course, 'not concurrently). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *.hrisMan 2 weeks ago
Nearby |
"Ladies, they say we're a mystery, that we're hard to please, they don't get us.
But we know, we're really quite simple little beans.
For example, if we take the time to shave our legs, we like them to stroke them and say wow, they are so smooth! (+10 shagability points)
Doea anyone have any other little nuggets of wisdom to share with the menfolk? "
I'll try that next time I'm sat near someone with shaved legs  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The thing is none of (most? I've not read it all) are highly subjective and individual based and are extre9far from one size fits all!
Setting us up to fail!
In all fairness the the thread was supposed to be a bit of fun.
I was hoping for things like "make the post-sex brew = x5 shagability points". But it's fab.. and I didn't really explain it well at all "
I knew it was all your fault miss Bella, I'm so disappointed in you.
But as you have such lovely pair of chesticles, frankly I forgive you.
Damnit those chesticles are like a get out of jail free card. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We always want something from the shop, even if we say we don’t.
Fairy liquid?"
There's no point trying to guess. It'll be a piece of whatever you buy for yourself (best to buy two of everything!) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ags73Man 2 weeks ago
glasgow-ish |
"A woman starts a thread asking other women to help men understand them better..for men to take over it deciding they know what’s best 😂. I do enjoy irony.
Quite right! Down with the Patriarchy!"
That’s what the patriarchy would say.
Girls on top! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The thing is none of (most? I've not read it all) are highly subjective and individual based and are extre9far from one size fits all!
Setting us up to fail!
In all fairness the the thread was supposed to be a bit of fun.
I was hoping for things like "make the post-sex brew = x5 shagability points". But it's fab.. and I didn't really explain it well at all
I knew it was all your fault miss Bella, I'm so disappointed in you.
But as you have such lovely pair of chesticles, frankly I forgive you.
Damnit those chesticles are like a get out of jail free card. "
For some reason, they get me out of alsorts of bother 🤷♀️😂 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A woman starts a thread asking other women to help men understand them better..for men to take over it deciding they know what’s best 😂. I do enjoy irony."
I gave up when people started making it a ranty thread 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️ |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *usie pTV/TS 2 weeks ago
taunton |
Is MissBella far left or far right if she wants to stop men from having an opinion, but then we have broad shoulders we can take it and to think of it a lot of us married guys have had years of training from our wives to cope with it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
5 deadly terms:
1. Fine - Used to end an argument when we know we're right and you need to shut up
2. Nothing - this actually means "something" and you need to be worried
3. Go ahead - this is a dare, not permission
4. Whatever - translates as "screw you"
5. That's ok - It's not ok, and we are thinking long and hard about how you will pay for it
Bonus word - Wow. This is not a compliment
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
But also, you know the 3 rules for keeping Gizmo safe in Gremlins? The opposite applies to women.
1. Never keep her in the dark about anything
2. If she wants to eat, or be eaten, after midnight then feed her
3. Get her as wet as possible, as often as possible |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m insecure about all my squidgy bits. You avoiding them doesn’t make me feel better, only worse. I need you to embrace them. Give them a squeeze, soft gentle kisses, licks and strokes. Show me you like them, not that you’re afraid of them
This is so so true.. but for me minus the giving my chub a squeeze.. my bum and thighs yes.. my stomach not.. I think I’d cry 😂"
But but your belly is so sexy, it's crying out to be caressed |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The thing is none of (most? I've not read it all) are highly subjective and individual based and are extre9far from one size fits all!
Setting us up to fail!
In all fairness the the thread was supposed to be a bit of fun.
I was hoping for things like "make the post-sex brew = x5 shagability points". But it's fab.. and I didn't really explain it well at all
I knew it was all your fault miss Bella, I'm so disappointed in you.
But as you have such lovely pair of chesticles, frankly I forgive you.
Damnit those chesticles are like a get out of jail free card.
For some reason, they get me out of alsorts of bother 🤷♀️😂"
Out of one sort of bother into a different kind of bother. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is MissBella far left or far right if she wants to stop men from having an opinion, but then we have broad shoulders we can take it and to think of it a lot of us married guys have had years of training from our wives to cope with it. "
I did mean the women that had turned it into a rant thread 🤷♀️🤣 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Standard procedure for men.
Facilitate an instantly relaxed comfortable sexy and engaged situation by sitting back, cast a roving eye over that body and growl something like “fuck yeah”. Now you may proceed…
Going down between those thighs - state “that’s a very pretty pussy..” and then follow up with the “god you taste good” when you get there. This final phrase will pretty much alleviate any remaining anxious feelings for her, cause the lady to sigh, widen and relax those thighs, sink into the mattress and enjoy… Going straight on her clit is an amateur move. Leave it alone for a while… Tease around.
Watch for that extraneous hand drifting down. Take it, move it back up her body and clearly state “that’s my job”. Do that job.
Drift a hand up over her stomach, grab a boob, not too firmly, tease a nipple.
Use your whole tongue not just the tip.
60% of the time, it works every time |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
:* 
Or is that just me? 