FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What are the main things that puts you off someone on here?
What are the main things that puts you off someone on here?
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I think to me being pushy and demanding is the number one |
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Holier than thou / better than you attitudes
Creeps and crawlers |
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Someone lacking in any personality or conversation.
And being disrespectful.
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Their apathy and poor conversational skills — especially when they have messaged me first and their profile mandates that they are looking to chat extensively and not in a rush to meet. The irony is lost on them. |
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When the conversation feels like pulling teeth. |
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Had a few gaslighters on here this week. |
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Rude, disrespectful, close minded. |
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Pushy/demanding people, people who don't respect me or my boundaries and rudeness |
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Inconsistencies.
A bio that doesn't match their pics or verifications.
Demands.
Everyone has and is fully entitled to preferences but that doesn't give them the right to send introductory messages telling the recipient what they must change about their profile and their physical appearance before being added to their to-do list.
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If they’re not exactly like me.
And
If they’re exactly like me. |
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By *ibLeiMan 3 weeks ago
Manchester |
Poor grammar, conjugation.
Low effort first message (it’s not just single men, who would have thought?!).
The ‘attitude’ (looking at you, couples).
Asking for things while not doing ‘it’ themselves.
Zoomed in pictures. |
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By (user no longer on site) 3 weeks ago
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"I think to me being pushy and demanding is the number one "
I would have to agree with this, alot of 'must have this, must do that' etc. |
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Poor footwear or fashion choices.
We love to see dressed or teasing pictures that reveal a bit of the posters style.
If there’s even a hint of a croc in a profile we’re completely out. |
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"The forum arse kissers. "
Oooh friend… friendly friend.
Be nice friend.
Ooh friend… |
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Please read my profile..
And dont reply??
Wy bother then
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- Personality, or lack of
- Profile full of peen
- Profile full of women with said peen (if a single guy account)
- Profile name (BeaverBatterer, KingFannyFlogger and the likes)
- Sending me unflattering pics of your peen in your first message (I only want to see it when I want to see it)
- The wanna meet now fellas
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"Arrogance, cockiness"
 definately that and anyone abusive or disrespectful whatever their reason. Ways to do things, hiding behind the internet and flexing muscles (metaphorically speaking) is not one of them. |
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People that don't take no for an answer |
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For us it’s people who don’t read our profile cos they can’t be arsed and ask stupid questions  |
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Starting a conversation dirty. At least start with a "hi"  |
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By *edSirenWoman 3 weeks ago
Leighton Buzzard |
"The forum arse kissers. "
What’s wrong with kissing ass?? Especially if it’s a nice ass 😏🤤 |
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By *w1styWoman 3 weeks ago
MiddleofMyStreet |
people who don't read the profile (Or they have and thought fuck it shall chance it), then message doing what I say not to in profile (say calling me babe is one thing or "meet now)... then complain when i have deleted the message....
or those who send 3 messages before I have had the chance to reply to the first message. |
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Another one is saying ????. Come on make an effort at least 😂 |
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Any reference to my pussy or their cock in the first message.
Pictures of them mid deed
Filthy dick pics. At least tidy up you scruffy sods!! |
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By *edSirenWoman 3 weeks ago
Leighton Buzzard |
If they come to play with a list to tick off. Or aren’t willing to let go and be in the moment because they’re too focused on what they think should happen. |
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"I think to me being pushy and demanding is the number one "
I think I agree with you, when they treat you like you’re the same as the bad experiences they’ve had on FAB. Or when they expect you to do all the work.
And just negativity in general, unless it’s authentic, funny & they can really pull it off well - there’s only one or two people do that well. |
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By *1bttmMan 3 weeks ago
Shoreditch east London |
Poor communication, or lack of it when things change.
Ignoring preferences but continuing to discuss their own when it's clear they haven't read yr profile and it's not a match. |
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People who are demanding, demeaning, entitled, arrogant.
Messages I need to translate from txtspk.
Anatomical photographs
"Party supplies" or "spoiling" talk
Unwillingness to engage as a human being rather than a set of engorged holes or genitals |
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Profile text that's longer than Dante's Inferno. |
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Got to be a lack of respect, also I won’t do this and I won’t do that. My rules 🙄 the biggest turn off smoking 😱 |
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Pushy people, predatory people, people who demand, people who are evasive. |
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One liner messages when trying to have a conversation.
Blank/bland profiles
Profiles who just see us as sex workers
K |
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Pushy, demanding, really bad spelling, all their photos are genital close ups that's just not for me |
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By *eliWoman 3 weeks ago
. |
People who write really bad erotica.
The I hate/I love everything brigade. Both are a sad facade - I'd much rather see the real person.
Pushy people.
People who don't have a genuine interest in me - whether it's seeing me as some holes or only talking about themselves.
People who are twunty. A bit twunty? Great, everyone is. Too much and I'm dry. |
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Men who treat this site like a 'Meat Market' and expect every woman to jump into bed with them. Some of the terms they use are downright disgusting  |
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Wanting to meet after 1 message |
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Guys who clearly haven't read, or choose to ignored my profile.
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By *aveonMan 3 weeks ago
Dartford |
Constant chatting when you have said you are not available or can’t chat and not interested
Those that are just full of their own self belief
Constant asking questions when you have said something many times in your profile like … can you accom ! |
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The assumption that they’ll be balls deep inside me by just sending a message 🤣🤣🤣 |
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Guys who have very clearly either not read or have read but message saying “I know I don’t fit what you’re looking for but…” 😬 |
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By (user no longer on site) 3 weeks ago
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People that judge, impolite people and not reading profiles. I always respect what someone puts in their profile it's just good manners and saves wasting both time and effort |
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People saying that they want to meet when they have no intention of doing so. If it's just chat that's wanted. Then just say so.
But I'd say number one turn off is pushiness. |
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Now days most it’s most of the people who write in the forums. Whether purposely or not what they write gives a great insight to their personality which seems different to what their profile pertains them to be |
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"People who write really bad erotica.
The I hate/I love everything brigade. Both are a sad facade - I'd much rather see the real person.
Pushy people.
People who don't have a genuine interest in me - whether it's seeing me as some holes or only talking about themselves.
People who are twunty. A bit twunty? Great, everyone is. Too much and I'm dry."
Omg 😂😂😂😂 that first one |
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People who are not honest about their time
People who have QOS tattoos
People that don’t ever message me first. |
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By *layfulGentMan 3 weeks ago
Doncaster South Yorkshire |
"Profile text that's longer than Dante's Inferno."
😂😂 I like this one |
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Lying or inconsistent bios ie they state non smoker, but recent pics show them with a fag in mouth.
Being entitled, thinking they deserve a reply or meet because they're local or the right age.
People who don't read bios then get pissy when you point out you're not looking for people miles away etc. |
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By *eliWoman 3 weeks ago
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"People who write really bad erotica.
The I hate/I love everything brigade. Both are a sad facade - I'd much rather see the real person.
Pushy people.
People who don't have a genuine interest in me - whether it's seeing me as some holes or only talking about themselves.
People who are twunty. A bit twunty? Great, everyone is. Too much and I'm dry.
Omg 😂😂😂😂 that first one"
It's so true though! 😅 Some of the stories would easily beat the winners of the Bad Sex in Fiction award. I am messy. |
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Also to add no public pics and one line profiles. |
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"The forum arse kissers.
Oooh friend… friendly friend.
Be nice friend."
I’d rather be honest 🙂 |
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False advertising of free hugs. Or if they don't like cheesecake |
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By *ibLeiMan 3 weeks ago
Manchester |
"Lying or inconsistent bios ie they state non smoker, but recent pics show them with a fag in mouth."
To rebound on that one: vaping = smoking. Or at the very minimum, if they indicate ‘non-smoker’, they should mention vaping in their bio. |
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Over confident, saying I'm the best fuck you'll ever have. I'll make you cum so many times. |
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"Lying or inconsistent bios ie they state non smoker, but recent pics show them with a fag in mouth.
To rebound on that one: vaping = smoking. Or at the very minimum, if they indicate ‘non-smoker’, they should mention vaping in their bio."
Agree, my other half vapes and we have it stated on our joint profile. It's only right. |
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For me it's straightforward.
1. They carn't spell.
2. They're grammar is atrocious.
3. Trying to be clever and using words in the wrong contest.
5. They struggle numerically.
6. Shallow people, but I don't mind if they're a bit of a cunt and speak their mind as long as they've got great tits and arse.
There's more I'm sure. |
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By *ripfillMan 3 weeks ago
Paris, New York, Hong Kong and Havant |
An Insincere attitude, this platform above all
Others, offers a real chance for an “honesty” which is rare, and in theory, the non judgmental code of ethics ought to make it possible, for real communication to exist - authentic and real
Fab stands for so many positive things for me as an individual .. we ought not dilute it …
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Too many to mention but the white knights and “all women are beautiful” types make my teeth itch |
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"For me it's straightforward.
1. They carn't spell.
2. They're grammar is atrocious.
3. Trying to be clever and using words in the wrong contest.
5. They struggle numerically.
6. Shallow people, but I don't mind if they're a bit of a cunt and speak their mind as long as they've got great tits and arse.
There's more I'm sure."
I'm terrible with numbers. Good with grammar and spelling though and I like books - even if I can't tell what page I'm on. 
I'm put off by neediness and sycophants. |
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"For me it's straightforward.
1. They carn't spell.
2. They're grammar is atrocious.
3. Trying to be clever and using words in the wrong contest.
5. They struggle numerically.
6. Shallow people, but I don't mind if they're a bit of a cunt and speak their mind as long as they've got great tits and arse.
There's more I'm sure."
Bet you hate lists as well |
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"For me it's straightforward.
1. They carn't spell.
2. They're grammar is atrocious.
3. Trying to be clever and using words in the wrong contest.
5. They struggle numerically.
6. Shallow people, but I don't mind if they're a bit of a cunt and speak their mind as long as they've got great tits and arse.
There's more I'm sure.
Bet you hate lists as well"
Yep. How did you know.
7. Lists
8. Londoners
9. Croydoners
*There are some major exemptions and exceptions that fall under #6 though. |
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Using the word "yous" or "youse" welds my legs shut instantly |
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Sycophantic arse lickers of both sexes, turns me right off. |
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For me is the ones who think they are better than the rest of us. |
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Smokers, poor hygiene, entitlement, being a dick. |
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"For me it's straightforward.
1. They carn't spell.
2. They're grammar is atrocious.
3. Trying to be clever and using words in the wrong contest.
5. They struggle numerically.
6. Shallow people, but I don't mind if they're a bit of a cunt and speak their mind as long as they've got great tits and arse.
There's more I'm sure."
The wrong contest? |
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"For me it's straightforward.
1. They carn't spell.
2. They're grammar is atrocious.
3. Trying to be clever and using words in the wrong contest.
5. They struggle numerically.
6. Shallow people, but I don't mind if they're a bit of a cunt and speak their mind as long as they've got great tits and arse.
There's more I'm sure.
The wrong contest?"
Please ..please don't say it 😂 |
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Wearing cheaply manufactured supermarket underwear made in Asia in their pics |
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Easy for you to say - I've just peeked at your very fine example..... |
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Those accounts asking for a face pic in your first message and they saying they will send theirs when they feel comfortable.
Just fuck off. |
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Easy for you to say - I've just peeked at your very fine example! |
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By *ushym8Man 3 weeks ago
Bedfordshire |
Just not taking no as an answer or being overly needy or pushy. Just wrong people |
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"Wearing cheaply manufactured supermarket underwear made in Asia in their pics"
Where were yours made? |
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"Wearing cheaply manufactured supermarket underwear made in Asia in their pics
Where were yours made?"
Asia |
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By *a LunaWoman 3 weeks ago
South Wales |
Pushy, demanding, moody, needy, no sense of humour |
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People that are too involved in “the scene”. For me this site is a laugh. I keep a very clear divide between my private/personal life and my sex life.
I find it uncomfortable when people blur those boundaries
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Arbitrary age limits.
If folks at clubs ask my age, I make them guess first. I'm actually 64, but the guesses invariably range between mid 40s and early 50s. As this is typically after a playtime, it's very flattering.
Yes, I know that this sounds like bullshit. But, hey, thank gawd for verifications... |
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"Pushy, demanding, moody, needy, no sense of humour"
That’s enough about you, what puts you off others 😂😂😂 |
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By (user no longer on site) 3 weeks ago
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Been me  lol |
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Pictures on their profile of them getting filled-out, like an application by multiple men at the same time  |
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Out of interest what pictures do women like on a man's profile, I've often wondered, as I guess most are dick pics |
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"For us it’s people who don’t read our profile cos they can’t be arsed and ask stupid questions "
Yeah definitely this! And all things that stem from this! |
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"Wearing cheaply manufactured supermarket underwear made in Asia in their pics"
Hahaha! This is soooo me! |
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"For me it's straightforward.
1. They carn't spell.
2. They're grammar is atrocious.
3. Trying to be clever and using words in the wrong contest.
5. They struggle numerically.
6. Shallow people, but I don't mind if they're a bit of a cunt and speak their mind as long as they've got great tits and arse.
There's more I'm sure.
The wrong contest?"
Yup! He said it!
He just had to right?😂 |
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"For me it's straightforward.
1. They carn't spell.
2. They're grammar is atrocious.
3. Trying to be clever and using words in the wrong contest.
5. They struggle numerically.
6. Shallow people, but I don't mind if they're a bit of a cunt and speak their mind as long as they've got great tits and arse.
There's more I'm sure.
Bet you hate lists as well
Yep. How did you know.
7. Lists
8. Londoners
9. Croydoners
*There are some major exemptions and exceptions that fall under #6 though. "
Maybe it's because I'm a Londanaaaa.....
There's actually a Pearly Queen Kink dontchyano?😂 |
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I initially replied based on what would put me off meeting someone or having sex with them but there is also another side to that question.
What would put me off people on the forums who I will never meet regardless?
The simple answer to that is having so many faces they are in a quandary over which one to post on a Face pic Friday thread?
The public, butter wouldn't melt face or the private hideous one?
The welcome and inclusive one or the backstabbing one?
Tough decisions for some. 😁 |
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"For me it's straightforward.
1. They carn't spell.
2. They're grammar is atrocious.
3. Trying to be clever and using words in the wrong contest.
5. They struggle numerically.
6. Shallow people, but I don't mind if they're a bit of a cunt and speak their mind as long as they've got great tits and arse.
There's more I'm sure.
Bet you hate lists as well
Yep. How did you know.
7. Lists
8. Londoners
9. Croydoners
*There are some major exemptions and exceptions that fall under #6 though.
Maybe it's because I'm a Londanaaaa.....
There's actually a Pearly Queen Kink dontchyano?😂"
And rightly so  |
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People with five nostrils or else three ears.
That shit really freaks me the hell out! |
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"Their apathy and poor conversational skills — especially when they have messaged me first and their profile mandates that they are looking to chat extensively and not in a rush to meet. The irony is lost on them."
This, and non-smoker profiles that turn out to be full-on regular smokers. |
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So many things, but to name a few
Persistent messages
Sending random friend invites multiple times
Hypocrisy
Too many graphic verifications on display, we don't need to know everything |
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"99% of people "
Just 99%..bit low that |
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Too many graphic verifications on display, we don't need to know everything "
I did apologise for and delete the one about the naked Morris Dancers and a can of WD40, no need to go on about it. |
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Persistent messages specifically if they are blunt and boring lol |
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By *a1970Man 3 weeks ago
East cork |
Asking for face photo after one message and preaching about morals. |
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"
Too many graphic verifications on display, we don't need to know everything
I did apologise for and delete the one about the naked Morris Dancers and a can of WD40, no need to go on about it. "
Unfortunately, it's engraved in my brain 😬😬 I will never unread it! |
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"
Too many graphic verifications on display, we don't need to know everything
I did apologise for and delete the one about the naked Morris Dancers and a can of WD40, no need to go on about it. "
I've had some weird commentary about one of my veris... which was about putting furniture together 🤣 |
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By *CLM87Woman 3 weeks ago
Derbyshire |
People that don't read the profile.
Mine states no crude messages.. but yet I still get crude messages.
When you say I'm sorry your not for me, happy fabbing and get abuse or a begging message back |
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By (user no longer on site) 3 weeks ago
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A really messy room in the photo background |
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Men that don't understanding what it is I am looking for.
People that want to endless chat.
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Being straight up and saying you like a chat and social to see if the chemistry is there and what you both want aligns.
Then the chat is sidelined completely |
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Most recently, a woman who called me 8 times over and over at 1:30am for a booty call. We’d chatted here, swapped numbers and spoken on the phone prior to this but not yet met.
I messaged in the morning to put her straight. |
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ALL OF THE ABOVE*
(*where it's applicable! Some of that shit I'd be lucky to have so I could then get put off) |
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"Being straight up and saying you like a chat and social to see if the chemistry is there and what you both want aligns.
Then the chat is sidelined completely "
I've had the opposite of this too...straight to it! No I have a life and not available in half an hour
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“Shopping lists” of demands, and they’re typed out as demands “I want this, I want that” ok great but what do you offer in return other than a presumed lack of personality and/or lack of any basic emotions. |
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Men messaging me asking me to let them suck my cock. There is no suggestion on my profile that I am even remotely gay. Many of these guys also have straight profiles. It is no wonder we all get a bad name on here. |
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A total lack of respect, Respect covers a huge area & it's something that people should have & it might be the site that it is but Respect unfortunately is something that not all people here have, some people would want to realise that it's another human being at the other end & not just a piece of meat. |
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"Being straight up and saying you like a chat and social to see if the chemistry is there and what you both want aligns.
Then the chat is sidelined completely "
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Indeed, which isn't a million miles from my comment earlier. Lip service prevails on here. 🌈 |
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Liars, bad breath and bad hygiene, to start. |
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That one person who looks at your profile 4 or 5 times a day has fabbed every public pic. Winks more times than we are online has sent the friend request a long time ago, but never once thought to write a message and reach out. |
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"For me it's straightforward.
1. They carn't spell.
2. They're grammar is atrocious.
3. Trying to be clever and using words in the wrong contest.
5. They struggle numerically.
6. Shallow people, but I don't mind if they're a bit of a cunt and speak their mind as long as they've got great tits and arse.
There's more I'm sure.
Bet you hate lists as well
Yep. How did you know.
7. Lists
8. Londoners
9. Croydoners
*There are some major exemptions and exceptions that fall under #6 though.
Maybe it's because I'm a Londanaaaa.....
There's actually a Pearly Queen Kink dontchyano?😂
And rightly so "
Whaaaaaaat? The only ones I see are about 103 years old. |
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"Men messaging me asking me to let them suck my cock. There is no suggestion on my profile that I am even remotely gay. Many of these guys also have straight profiles. It is no wonder we all get a bad name on here."
Why haven't you just blocked messages from men? |
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Has to be spelling and grammar for me…
The amount of times I want to correct others, especially your/you’re - instead it’s just BLOCK
I’ve recently seen grate (instead of great) and whether (instead of weather)
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Liverpool fc shirts
A woman with lots of pics of unprotected sex
Super amounts of gushing
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We've got a list. So people that write to us with "mmmm" or "yous free".
Those who don't read the profile and message us anyway.
Being offered for sex.
A picture of just a dick being sent.
Multiple messages while we're sleeping and they're pestering asking why we haven't replied. |
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Pushy. Straight to ‘when can me meet’? Pics of dirty looking cocks. Lies. |
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So so many.
Single sentence pushy openers from "straight" guys at midnight stands out.
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Yep......pushy, non understanding peckerwoods that dont read the profile, dont ask decent questions and just assume stuff!
S |
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Single men with dick pics as profile picture, if that’s the best thing you can think of as your main picture then your not for us. |
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Women who are too intense with from the off (yes, it happens). Whether that's the flirting or sexual talk, it's just too much, too fast. |
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Fake couples that are obviously single men |
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Stunning women who are really funny, have hot bodies, emotionally intelligent, absolutely desired by men, that continually pester me. |
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"Stunning women who are really funny, have hot bodies, emotionally intelligent, absolutely desired by men, that continually pester me."
Oh so that's why you blocked me |
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10 messages in a row with 2 or 3 of them just being ? Or hello?
Photos of men sticking their tongues out
Socks with sliders
The never ending question girth or length
Bi people with straight on their profile but say it puts women off
That’s just this afternoon niggles lol |
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Not flooding my inbox with tit pics. |
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"Not flooding my inbox with tit pics."
The absolute worst, I agree |
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Pushy and no profile to read with excessive dick pics |
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"Not flooding my inbox with tit pics.
The absolute worst, I agree "
There are tit pics in peoples inboxes? 😳😔 |
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By *j188Couple 2 weeks ago
aberdeenshire |
The list is endless ! |
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"Stunning women who are really funny, have hot bodies, emotionally intelligent, absolutely desired by men, that continually pester me.
Oh so that's why you blocked me "
Nope. That fullstop in your name is really annoying. That's why. |
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"Not flooding my inbox with tit pics.
The absolute worst, I agree
There are tit pics in peoples inboxes? 😳😔"
I wouldn't know |
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"Not flooding my inbox with tit pics.
The absolute worst, I agree
There are tit pics in peoples inboxes? 😳😔
I wouldn't know "
Evidently nor me 🤣 |
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"Stunning women who are really funny, have hot bodies, emotionally intelligent, absolutely desired by men, that continually pester me.
Oh so that's why you blocked me
Nope. That fullstop in your name is really annoying. That's why."
Always the fullstop, always. |
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"Not flooding my inbox with tit pics.
The absolute worst, I agree
There are tit pics in peoples inboxes? 😳😔
I wouldn't know "
Nor would I 😢 |
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"Not flooding my inbox with tit pics.
The absolute worst, I agree
There are tit pics in peoples inboxes? 😳😔
I wouldn't know
Nor would I 😢"
Shall we start the no titty committee?  |
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"Not flooding my inbox with tit pics.
The absolute worst, I agree
There are tit pics in peoples inboxes? 😳😔
I wouldn't know
Nor would I 😢
Shall we start the no titty committee? "
Bollocks! I was going to slide into your inbox with my unsolicited tit pics! Rumbled again! I’ll be a founding member of the no titty committee 🛑 ✋ |
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"Not flooding my inbox with tit pics.
The absolute worst, I agree
There are tit pics in peoples inboxes? 😳😔
I wouldn't know
Nor would I 😢
Shall we start the no titty committee?
Bollocks! I was going to slide into your inbox with my unsolicited tit pics! Rumbled again! I’ll be a founding member of the no titty committee 🛑 ✋ "
I'm in. |
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The ones that purport to be nice, just and all round decent folk when their behaviour suggests anything but.
It’s all a facade for many. |
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Guys that pound the Mrs from behind for half an hour and ask her if she’s liking it! |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS 2 weeks ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
People with a sense of entitlement, those who expect me to jump through hoops to meet them, folk without pictures asking me for them, Tgirls without face pics asking for a meet |
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Couples thinking they can demand and expect, thinking I will jump and obey because they have a vag to offer lol |
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"Guys that pound the Mrs from behind for half an hour and ask her if she’s liking it! "
She must be liking it if she's letting him do it
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One or two word answers, if you are not interested just say so. |
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Someone who I have not had any interaction before whatsoever sending me a long-winded, detailed description of what they are going to do to me- nope!
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Giving the impression that:-
a) They've completely disinterested in us being a couple and addressing any messages as though it could only ever be the female half that reads them
b) By virtue of being on a swingers site, us wanting sex with them is a given, it's simply a matter of arranging a convenient time rather than making an effort to get to know us, what we want, what we can offer and whether there is any mutual interest/attraction.
P |
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I’m probably going to get some backlash from this…..
Women who are quite clearly a four at best but think they are a solid 10 !!
(I’m running and looking for a good hiding place)
😬🫣 |
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Probably me finding a pair of balls.. That'd put me off a bit |
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"I’m probably going to get some backlash from this…..
Women who are quite clearly a four at best but think they are a solid 10 !!
(I’m running and looking for a good hiding place)
😬🫣"
Agreed |
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Shouty profiles of do's and dont's (most)
If they are self identified "brats"
Tattoos
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"Giving the impression that:-
a) They've completely disinterested in us being a couple and addressing any messages as though it could only ever be the female half that reads them
b) By virtue of being on a swingers site, us wanting sex with them is a given, it's simply a matter of arranging a convenient time rather than making an effort to get to know us, what we want, what we can offer and whether there is any mutual interest/attraction.
P"
We get lots of this, plus a spit the dummy out response when I dare to say no..... |
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"- Personality, or lack of
- Profile full of peen
- Profile full of women with said peen (if a single guy account)
- Profile name (BeaverBatterer, KingFannyFlogger and the likes)
- Sending me unflattering pics of your peen in your first message (I only want to see it when I want to see it)
- The wanna meet now fellas
"
Agree 100% |
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Messages only at the women not the both of us
Asking to meet the lady alone not going to happen
Men who think they know what i want and need and tell me what I'm going to do them
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The thing that really gets me is negativity |
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Rudeness and arrogance. My wife used to be on here but got fed up with some guys who thought could do anything they liked. No decency and just thinking about own pleasure and what they could get out of this. Not discussing what all like or not and not respecting any boundaries set |
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