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I have a willy!!
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I don't really but.....
If you had the opposite sexy bits for a day what would you do?
You , yes you ,I see what you're gonna say, so stop that right now!
I mean non sexual things, everyday things....
Aaaand go |
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"Go outside after dark without being prepared to use my keys as a weapon.
You missed a trick. Piss up a wall. Just because you can do it easily. "
But then I'd have to clean it...
oh wait. I'd be a bloke. That's wimminz work innit  |
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You mean I can’t helicopter it?
Pffft. Ok I’ll put a false eyelash Mohawk and googly eyes on it
Then I’ll and stand with my hands on my hips offering my “expert” advice to anyone practicing their craft or building something.
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"Go outside after dark without being prepared to use my keys as a weapon.
You missed a trick. Piss up a wall. Just because you can do it easily.
But then I'd have to clean it...
oh wait. I'd be a bloke. That's wimminz work innit "
Nah it'll dry |
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"You mean I can’t helicopter it?
Pffft. Ok I’ll put a false eyelash Mohawk and googly eyes on it
Then I’ll and stand with my hands on my hips offering my “expert” advice to anyone practicing their craft or building something.
"
oh hell yes.
A full day of "well akshually I think you'll find, little lady..." about shit I know absolutely nothing about |
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"I tell you what I WOULDN’T do:
Wear a bra.
That’s all well and good until you need to run and you get black eyes. Or you get to 30 and be able to tuck them into your waist band  "
I know a BIG titty babe that doesn’t wear a bra all the time. She’s my inspiration. |
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"Ok but not that right?
Ok em here's what I would do.
Find a tractor.
Turn on the ignition.
Wait it for it to chugger 'chugachugachuga'
Press up to it."
Try wearing tight jeans, pull them up high so the seam is right on your slit giving a bit of friction to your clit. Sit above the wheels on the bus.
An accidental and happy discovery when going to pick up my car from its MOT |
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"Ok but not that right?
Ok em here's what I would do.
Find a tractor.
Turn on the ignition.
Wait it for it to chugger 'chugachugachuga'
Press up to it.
Try wearing tight jeans, pull them up high so the seam is right on your slit giving a bit of friction to your clit. Sit above the wheels on the bus.
An accidental and happy discovery when going to pick up my car from its MOT "
I'm starting a thread |
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"I have nothing to add that is non sexual, so….i’d stick my willy in some things. A lot of things actually.
A warm apple pie. Trust me.
Stiffler's mom must be a gilf by now
G. Not ilf "
ok ok. kids these days not appreciating the classics
(I've never seen it and I can't be bothered to either. It looked dumb at the time too) |
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"I would walk around the house poking it in so many things to see what it feels like.
I’d do helicopters and boings and I’d also see how many times I could cum "
I'd do the same if I had the lady parts for a day (well not poking into things, more the other way around) |
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"Wear jeans with pockets i can only fit a polo into.
Wear clothes which don’t have pockets (because of the patriarchy) and ask men to put everything in their pocket so I don’t have to carry it. "
Decorative pockets! You try to put something in them and they rip. |
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"Wear jeans with pockets i can only fit a polo into.
Wear clothes which don’t have pockets (because of the patriarchy) and ask men to put everything in their pocket so I don’t have to carry it. "
Isn't that what's handbags are for, I carry everything in mine,
Mrs x |
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"Wear jeans with pockets i can only fit a polo into.
Wear clothes which don’t have pockets (because of the patriarchy) and ask men to put everything in their pocket so I don’t have to carry it.
Decorative pockets! You try to put something in them and they rip."
Pockets are a feminist issue |
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"Wear jeans with pockets i can only fit a polo into.
Wear clothes which don’t have pockets (because of the patriarchy) and ask men to put everything in their pocket so I don’t have to carry it. Isn't that what's handbags are for, I carry everything in mine,
Mrs x"
I’ll only wear one if it matches my look |
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"I’d also opt to entertain myself by repeatedly parting my labia with my fingertips whilst supplying my vagina a voice like Elmo’s from Sesame Street….
🤣🤣🤣🤣"
You know you really want to try this now, right? 😜 |
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There are two ways I want to answer this. One of those ways I can't, or at least had best not! 😂
I'd get frustrated to be honest, it would feel weird and I'd be trying to do things (piss standing up for example) and failing because it's simply not the correct plumbing! |
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I would start my day off with a list of the things I need to get done. I would then make myself some avocado anf poached egg on toast as the kids eat thier rice crispies. Sipping on my coffee with a dash of oat milk, I'd quickly spend a couple of hours on Instagram liking every story possible, whilst my children have some downtime watching Paw Patrol.
After sticking a load in the washing machine, I'd quickly catch up on any WhatsApp groups before giving the little rascals some quavers for lunch.
I'd then nip out to soft play to catch up with some friends over a coffee, whilst the children entertain themselves. As they're now exhausted, I'll let them have some chill time on their tablets whilst I check if I've missed anything on Instagram or WhatsApp.
Now slightly panicked I haven't got any of my jobs done, I'd whip out the vacuum cleaner 5 minutes before my hubby gets home, so it looks like I've been busy.
As soon as he steps foot in the door, I'll him how exhausted I am and how I need 5 minutes to myself as the kids have been driving me mad all day.
I'll later tell him he needs to start pulling his weight around the house, as I can't do it all myself! |
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"I would start my day off with a list of the things I need to get done. I would then make myself some avocado anf poached egg on toast as the kids eat thier rice crispies. Sipping on my coffee with a dash of oat milk, I'd quickly spend a couple of hours on Instagram liking every story possible, whilst my children have some downtime watching Paw Patrol.
After sticking a load in the washing machine, I'd quickly catch up on any WhatsApp groups before giving the little rascals some quavers for lunch.
I'd then nip out to soft play to catch up with some friends over a coffee, whilst the children entertain themselves. As they're now exhausted, I'll let them have some chill time on their tablets whilst I check if I've missed anything on Instagram or WhatsApp.
Now slightly panicked I haven't got any of my jobs done, I'd whip out the vacuum cleaner 5 minutes before my hubby gets home, so it looks like I've been busy.
As soon as he steps foot in the door, I'll him how exhausted I am and how I need 5 minutes to myself as the kids have been driving me mad all day.
I'll later tell him he needs to start pulling his weight around the house, as I can't do it all myself!"
This is very specific Willy.
No.1; well done.
No 2; you ok Hun? |
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"Go outside after dark without being prepared to use my keys as a weapon."
Men are more than twice as likely to be violently assaulted by a stranger than women. In the house, with your family, at work etc is a different matter but attacks from strangers are rare.
P |
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