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I woke up with a really sore bum
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By *rHotNotts OP Man 2 days ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"You have a 14 inch dildo made of thick rope, unintentionally warmed by a fire.
You slipped onto it, entirely by accident, in the night.
It was nothing but hot knots 🤷🏻♂️."
That’s so accurate. It’s scary. Did I send you a video when I was d*unk last night?
Not really, incorrect , but good guess. |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man 2 days ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Did you have a minor inconvenience, go home and throw yourself on the sofa but misjudge it and land on the arm? Because that can happen"
It wasn’t, but that’s exactly the kind of thing I do & not just once …but on a regular basis…. |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man 2 days ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"You slipped on a pot of Vaseline & the curtain ring & Barbie doll just found their way there? No idea where they came from either????
Say, stray thought... You haven't been chopping chillies this a.m, had to scratch yer bum cos of say an itchy anus followed by "OHHHHHH-NOOOOO-NOOOOOO-NOOOOOO!"   "
No, Bobby would never do that to me. She loves me..
No, not the chilies. I’m very aware of the effects of that - it can be really bad, i’ve learnt always wash my hands after, even after eating a slice of pizza with chilies on |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man 2 days ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Thought you'd go photograph some mountains covered in snow, and fell on the path on the way to the car? "
I think you are the closest. We decided to do a late afternoon walk up Kinder Scout. For some reason didn’t realise how icy it was gonna be so it was very slow down up the waterfall from Edale. The Sun came down & a shit load of fog while we were still up on the edge at 2000 feet. So we found a shortcut back down crowden clough , it was extremely steep and solid ice, so we practically came the whole way on our bums in the dark ! |
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"As options here are unlimited going from a curry last night to a sat down on the wife’s hair brush we may need some little clues OP or 175 may come and go with out the big reveal "
He already revealed above  |
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"Thought you'd go photograph some mountains covered in snow, and fell on the path on the way to the car?
I think you are the closest. We decided to do a late afternoon walk up Kinder Scout. For some reason didn’t realise how icy it was gonna be so it was very slow down up the waterfall from Edale. The Sun came down & a shit load of fog while we were still up on the edge at 2000 feet. So we found a shortcut back down crowden clough , it was extremely steep and solid ice, so we practically came the whole way on our bums in the dark ! "
This could have so involved ropes, poles, crampons, harnesses and a helicopter rescue. |
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Ah ok kinder scout at night when weather conditions were predicted to be awful?
Sorry not overly impressed with thought process on that one .. a sore arse is both warranted and lucky just to be that ..
Take better decision next time . Kinder scout isn’t going anywhere and there is always tomorrow
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"Thought you'd go photograph some mountains covered in snow, and fell on the path on the way to the car?
I think you are the closest. We decided to do a late afternoon walk up Kinder Scout. For some reason didn’t realise how icy it was gonna be so it was very slow down up the waterfall from Edale. The Sun came down & a shit load of fog while we were still up on the edge at 2000 feet. So we found a shortcut back down crowden clough , it was extremely steep and solid ice, so we practically came the whole way on our bums in the dark ! "
It was a toss up between falling to get to the car and getting stuck up a mountain. Was so close darmn it! |
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"We decided to do a late afternoon walk up Kinder Scout. For some reason didn’t realise how icy it was gonna be so it was very slow down up the waterfall from Edale. The Sun came down & a shit load of fog while we were still up on the edge at 2000 feet. So we found a shortcut back down crowden clough , it was extremely steep and solid ice, so we practically came the whole way on our bums in the dark ! "
Been there. Done that. Accidentally descended into Hayfield and had to slog back to Edale. |
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You accidentally got your toothpaste and your Anusol mixed up when treating an anal laceration.
Minty fresh arsehole that stings like fuck, apparently my hubby did this as a teenager, wished I'd seen him hop around the bathroom with his ass on fire haha.
So am I close? Mrs x |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man 2 days ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"And this, children, is why we need weather warnings. How could anyone not know it would be icy up Kinder Scout late yesterday afternoon?! Honestly  "
We kinda knew tbh, we like it, it’s more fun when theirs is when there’s a little bit danger. We did take a couple of head torches, gps , battery backup & I know the routes well! |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man 2 days ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"You accidentally got your toothpaste and your Anusol mixed up when treating an anal laceration.
Minty fresh arsehole that stings like fuck, apparently my hubby did this as a teenager, wished I'd seen him hop around the bathroom with his ass on fire haha.
So am I close? Mrs x"
No, but there’s a possibility that happening today as I’m treating a few anal lacerations…..😭 |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man 2 days ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"We decided to do a late afternoon walk up Kinder Scout. For some reason didn’t realise how icy it was gonna be so it was very slow down up the waterfall from Edale. The Sun came down & a shit load of fog while we were still up on the edge at 2000 feet. So we found a shortcut back down crowden clough , it was extremely steep and solid ice, so we practically came the whole way on our bums in the dark !
Been there. Done that. Accidentally descended into Hayfield and had to slog back to Edale. "
That is a long slog ! You missed the turn off for Jacob‘s ladder didn’t you? I’ve done it before but then realised & went back. |
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"And this, children, is why we need weather warnings. How could anyone not know it would be icy up Kinder Scout late yesterday afternoon?! Honestly
We kinda knew tbh, we like it, it’s more fun when theirs is when there’s a little bit danger. We did take a couple of head torches, gps , battery backup & I know the routes well! "
Danger is wonderful, until you end up like the dude who fell off a ledge in the Lakes and died and required an entire mountain rescue team to put their own lives on the line. I'm all for adventure and doing daft things but in my opinion, choosing to do something like that late yesterday is pure selfishness because of the unpredictable conditions and the danger of others having to come and retrieve you. |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man 2 days ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"And this, children, is why we need weather warnings. How could anyone not know it would be icy up Kinder Scout late yesterday afternoon?! Honestly
We kinda knew tbh, we like it, it’s more fun when theirs is when there’s a little bit danger. We did take a couple of head torches, gps , battery backup & I know the routes well!
Danger is wonderful, until you end up like the dude who fell off a ledge in the Lakes and died and required an entire mountain rescue team to put their own lives on the line. I'm all for adventure and doing daft things but in my opinion, choosing to do something like that late yesterday is pure selfishness because of the unpredictable conditions and the danger of others having to come and retrieve you. "
We had hot chocolate and Oreos, and a Freddo each, you can deal with anything with that inside you. |
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By *ookie46Woman 2 days ago
Deepest darkest Peru |
"And this, children, is why we need weather warnings. How could anyone not know it would be icy up Kinder Scout late yesterday afternoon?! Honestly
We kinda knew tbh, we like it, it’s more fun when theirs is when there’s a little bit danger. We did take a couple of head torches, gps , battery backup & I know the routes well! "
At least you didn’t need the good old Nokia to get you safely home from this trip |
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"And this, children, is why we need weather warnings. How could anyone not know it would be icy up Kinder Scout late yesterday afternoon?! Honestly
We kinda knew tbh, we like it, it’s more fun when theirs is when there’s a little bit danger. We did take a couple of head torches, gps , battery backup & I know the routes well!
Danger is wonderful, until you end up like the dude who fell off a ledge in the Lakes and died and required an entire mountain rescue team to put their own lives on the line. I'm all for adventure and doing daft things but in my opinion, choosing to do something like that late yesterday is pure selfishness because of the unpredictable conditions and the danger of others having to come and retrieve you.
We had hot chocolate and Oreos, and a Freddo each, you can deal with anything with that inside you."
See. Another glaring error. Everyone knows that Kendal Mint Cake is the food of proper explorers. Like Captain Scott. |
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