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Could you have sex with someone
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you find physically attractive and they tick all your boxes sexually wise but you don’t necessarily agree with their values and beliefs, or even with who they are as a person?
I’m talking one off type of situation, not an ongoing thing.
(Purely hypothetical question of course, for entertainment and research purposes only.) |
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Yes - I doubt any of us are 100% aligned in everything with any person we have sex with. The question is how far out does it have to go before I say enough is enough?
Someone’s political views don’t matter to me - they are legally held and I like diversity of thought. |
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"For a one off…….i doubt I’d be discovering their beliefs, etc.
It’d be all about doing the sex. "
I think you can have a feel of someone on here by how they present themselves, on the forum, for example?
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If I don't agree with who they are as a person, I doubt I'd even get to the talking stage but people only usually show their true colours after knowing them a while. They can be on their best behaviour up until the one off so I guess you wouldn't know if you're only looking to bang them once. |
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By *eliWoman 5 weeks ago
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I don't have one night stands, NSA etc so that's a very easy no.
I know that's quite rare on here but... I'm okay with that. I also know people will/are fib(bing) because they don't want to say they do which is weird. There's nothing wrong with NSA if that's your thing. |
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As a one off pure sexual pleasure type thing it is doable, just keep the conversation and focus on the sexual side of things and don’t get into a conversation about politics etc.
Unless they are totally against red wine or coffee and the it could be a deal breaker 😂 |
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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago
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I think it would have to depend on where the disconnect was...
If they were a Utd fan then it's a flat no... I've had to block Rachel Riley who just doesn't get that.
In all seriousness, if it was a value I thought important then it could put me off having sex. Smoking for example, that's a no. But if they were more relaxed about recreational drugs than me then it's not been an issue in the past. |
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"Yes - I doubt any of us are 100% aligned in everything with any person we have sex with. The question is how far out does it have to go before I say enough is enough?
Someone’s political views don’t matter to me - they are legally held and I like diversity of thought. "
I’m not interested in politics and I’m very interested in diverse thinking & beliefs, but values & mindset are important. If they are self-centred, bitchy or gossipy, talking negatively about others etc, it’s a huge turn off. |
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"I don't have one night stands, NSA etc so that's a very easy no.
I know that's quite rare on here but... I'm okay with that. I also know people will/are fib(bing) because they don't want to say they do which is weird. There's nothing wrong with NSA if that's your thing. "
Because on the forums many people aren’t actual swingers and see NSA or one offs as being too promiscuous or indiscriminate |
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The thing is in club situations you don't really " get to know someone " so if you play at clubs then yes most of us have done it.
But if we had met and I had gotten to know of the negative side, then it's a hard no. No matter how physically attractive they are only thing I'd see is the ugly part I dislike and that will be a turn off. Hard no from me . |
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"As a one off pure sexual pleasure type thing it is doable, just keep the conversation and focus on the sexual side of things and don’t get into a conversation about politics etc.
Unless they are totally against red wine or coffee and the it could be a deal breaker 😂"
Red wine is the sacred blood of Jesus Christ our saviour |
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Ok, an example, again - purely hypothetical. Let’s say you’re having a coffee social, the chemistry is insane. All you can think of is having sex with them. Then you see them being not so nice to the staff, or rude to the people on the parking lot. Do you still progress to sex or it’s a no? This kind of thing. |
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"Ok, an example, again - purely hypothetical. Let’s say you’re having a coffee social, the chemistry is insane. All you can think of is having sex with them. Then you see them being not so nice to the staff, or rude to the people on the parking lot. Do you still progress to sex or it’s a no? This kind of thing."
No |
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"Ok, an example, again - purely hypothetical. Let’s say you’re having a coffee social, the chemistry is insane. All you can think of is having sex with them. Then you see them being not so nice to the staff, or rude to the people on the parking lot. Do you still progress to sex or it’s a no? This kind of thing."
That would likely kill the moment. |
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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago
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"Ok, an example, again - purely hypothetical. Let’s say you’re having a coffee social, the chemistry is insane. All you can think of is having sex with them. Then you see them being not so nice to the staff, or rude to the people on the parking lot. Do you still progress to sex or it’s a no? This kind of thing."
That's not enough for me to not sleep with them if they've given me the horn at that moment but it is enough for me to talk about it afterwards. Kinda post coital conversation. |
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"Ok, an example, again - purely hypothetical. Let’s say you’re having a coffee social, the chemistry is insane. All you can think of is having sex with them. Then you see them being not so nice to the staff, or rude to the people on the parking lot. Do you still progress to sex or it’s a no? This kind of thing."
No. Cuntish behaviour to others, will destroy any attraction I ever had to them. |
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"Ok, an example, again - purely hypothetical. Let’s say you’re having a coffee social, the chemistry is insane. All you can think of is having sex with them. Then you see them being not so nice to the staff, or rude to the people on the parking lot. Do you still progress to sex or it’s a no? This kind of thing."
I can only have sex with people I like so... no.
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"Ok, an example, again - purely hypothetical. Let’s say you’re having a coffee social, the chemistry is insane. All you can think of is having sex with them. Then you see them being not so nice to the staff, or rude to the people on the parking lot. Do you still progress to sex or it’s a no? This kind of thing."
That’s a hard line and the kind of moral separation that would rule it out |
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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago
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"Ok, an example, again - purely hypothetical. Let’s say you’re having a coffee social, the chemistry is insane. All you can think of is having sex with them. Then you see them being not so nice to the staff, or rude to the people on the parking lot. Do you still progress to sex or it’s a no? This kind of thing."
As much as I hate that kinda behaviour. I could be down for some angry sex if they were that hot.
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"Ok, an example, again - purely hypothetical. Let’s say you’re having a coffee social, the chemistry is insane. All you can think of is having sex with them. Then you see them being not so nice to the staff, or rude to the people on the parking lot. Do you still progress to sex or it’s a no? This kind of thing."
It would be a no at that point. Similarly if they started on about 'migrants' used words like 'convid ' 'sheeple ' or 'liebour ' or told me to 'do your own research '. |
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As a few people have already said, it comes down to the context. Diversity is natural, you're not always going to agree. Voted for a particular party, think xx is the best music artist of all time, believes in the death penalty etc, then each to their own and we'll keep talking.
Cheating in a relationship/marriage, rude to staff, rude about people based on appearance or money then we probably won't even give you the courtesy of a goodbye if we had got so far as a coffee or a chat |
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I've thought 15 different ways to answer this, partly because it's never happened for a one-off (it's happened a couple of times for more traditional "coupling", and I've stopped things progressing).
I honestly don't know what I'd do - to be with someone who sexually excites you, be 98% of the way back to the bedroom in both your minds....and then she starts revealing things that turn me inside out. I think I'd just be too confused for a few minutes.
If we did end up fucking, I don't think I'd enjoy it much.
I don't like imagining the scenario if I'm really honest. |
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By *r TriomanMan 5 weeks ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
Good morning OP, when I meet and play with people at a club, although I may chat to them prior any fun being had, the conversation is rarely that deep that I get to know their views on things that matter to me therefore, yes, I may have had sex with people that, if I was to get to know them more, I probably wouldn't associate with. |
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My F partner and I met up with a woman in 2018 - beautiful, sexy, smart. As we were having a drink & chat before the potential fun, she revealed she was something of an aspiring trad-wife - felt women had been too pushy in the world of men, etc. Killed my horn & my partner just looked depressed. Fizzled out right there. |
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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago
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Absolutely not. I enjoy being attracted to the person as a whole, not just their physical and/or sexual attributes.
If we wouldn't get along, I don't see the point, just to have sex. I'm eager, not desperate. 😄 |
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"Hmm, that's a tough one. Somebody being absolutely heinous can turn the most attractive person to a very unpleasant person..
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No.
They could be the hottest person alive,but if they turned out to be a Nazi sympathizer I'd be gone |
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Yes and no, depending on situation and the level at which you find their point of veiw egregious. Just to add its more spark for us than purely good looks. Someone can be a perfect specimen but still no good without any spark in their eye.
First example of a yes from us is perfectly simple, we've not talked to them. Sometimes in group/orgy situations your eyes meet with someone else in the sex puddle, they look good, they have a wicked smile and it's awesome. Then later on you chat to them and think I probably wouldn't have gone with them if I've talked to them first. In the same vain we had sex with a hot foreign couple once that just joined in with us. They hardly spoke any English so who knows what their outlook on life and politics was  . The main thing is in this environment with regards NSA we're here to fulfil our sexual desires not scrutinise the morals and opinions of others.
Yet all that said we are very fickle and we tend to get into a bedroom situation after building some chemistry. So most of the time good looks walk and passions die when someone gives us the ick. It's happened a few times. However it is a matter to what extent, we're tolerant of different ideas, the worlds a broad church and most people are decent. We can find spark and connection with people of some difference in background and politics. I think what really kills it for us is people who are disrespectful of other or kick down on others and people who are particularly dull.
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"Ok, an example, again - purely hypothetical. Let’s say you’re having a coffee social, the chemistry is insane. All you can think of is having sex with them. Then you see them being not so nice to the staff, or rude to the people on the parking lot. Do you still progress to sex or it’s a no? This kind of thing."
This happened to me many years ago when meeting someone for the first time. She was doing a returns at Argos and was, I thought, unnecessary rude to the staff member trying to help her. When we left I gently pointed out how rude she was and that the staff member was doing all in their power to help. She was actually mortified when her behaviour was highlighted and turned out to be one of the nicest people you could meet who was going through her own heavy shit. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 5 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Ok, an example, again - purely hypothetical. Let’s say you’re having a coffee social, the chemistry is insane. All you can think of is having sex with them. Then you see them being not so nice to the staff, or rude to the people on the parking lot. Do you still progress to sex or it’s a no? This kind of thing.
It would be a no at that point. Similarly if they started on about 'migrants' used words like 'convid ' 'sheeple ' or 'liebour ' or told me to 'do your own research '. "
You missed 'snowflake' for a fab bingo full house.
But yep. I agree with that. |
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Yes, to a point. It would depend on how far and extreme those beliefs are.
Disagree is one thing, but when something greatly conflicts with views I feel strongly about or it's a very extreme take on their part, then no.
I may not know every single little detail and their views on everything but for me to be at the point of wanting to get with them, I'll have a pretty good idea on the person they are and their views in general. |
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"Yes, to a point. It would depend on how far and extreme those beliefs are.
Disagree is one thing, but when something greatly conflicts with views I feel strongly about or it's a very extreme take on their part, then no.
I may not know every single little detail and their views on everything but for me to be at the point of wanting to get with them, I'll have a pretty good idea on the person they are and their views in general."
I'd have sex with kai |
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Most of the time we'd say no, but we have had a few occasions actually where we both disliked the guy for some of these kinds of reasons and we still went ahead and if we're honest we'd say it added to the sex in some weird way.
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By *essTTWoman 5 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"you find physically attractive and they tick all your boxes sexually wise but you don’t necessarily agree with their values and beliefs, or even with who they are as a person?
I’m talking one off type of situation, not an ongoing thing.
(Purely hypothetical question of course, for entertainment and research purposes only.)"
No I couldn't
Even if it was a 1 time thing you can almost guarantee at some point they would say something that would make you think  |
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It would depend on the beliefs. Could I have sex with someone who voted Tory? Probably. Could I have sex with a far right extremist? Absolutely not.
I don’t think I could have sex with a full on conspiracy theorist either. |
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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago
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"Yes, to a point. It would depend on how far and extreme those beliefs are.
Disagree is one thing, but when something greatly conflicts with views I feel strongly about or it's a very extreme take on their part, then no.
I may not know every single little detail and their views on everything but for me to be at the point of wanting to get with them, I'll have a pretty good idea on the person they are and their views in general.
I'd have sex with kai"
Id watch |
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"Ok, an example, again - purely hypothetical. Let’s say you’re having a coffee social, the chemistry is insane. All you can think of is having sex with them. Then you see them being not so nice to the staff, or rude to the people on the parking lot. Do you still progress to sex or it’s a no? This kind of thing.
This happened to me many years ago when meeting someone for the first time. She was doing a returns at Argos and was, I thought, unnecessary rude to the staff member trying to help her. When we left I gently pointed out how rude she was and that the staff member was doing all in their power to help. She was actually mortified when her behaviour was highlighted and turned out to be one of the nicest people you could meet who was going through her own heavy shit. "
Interesting that. Makes me wonder how easily people can judge someone without knowing the full context behind their actions. |
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"you find physically attractive and they tick all your boxes sexually wise but you don’t necessarily agree with their values and beliefs, or even with who they are as a person?
I’m talking one off type of situation, not an ongoing thing.
(Purely hypothetical question of course, for entertainment and research purposes only.)"
Yes, to me those things only apply to relationships and long term friendships. |
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By *l_JJMan 5 weeks ago
South Essex |
I’d love to say it’s just about the physical, but if they’re being rude to staff or acting like a prat, it’s game over for me. It’s like 'Cheers for killing the mood’.
Even for a one-off, I reckon a bit of basic decency isn’t too much to ask.Otherwise, I’d spend the whole time wondering if they’d be critiquing everything else, like some sort of Michelin judge. |
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Yeah i could. A one off is a one off, so why not. some people are completely different people in the bedroom to who they are in the street. I also cant see them bringing up there beliefs while were at it. If they did id be questioning my performance haha. |
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"you find physically attractive and they tick all your boxes sexually wise but you don’t necessarily agree with their values and beliefs, or even with who they are as a person?
I’m talking one off type of situation, not an ongoing thing.
(Purely hypothetical question of course, for entertainment and research purposes only.)"
No problem at all |
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By *ony MannMan 5 weeks ago
Lagos, Portugal/ Ilfracombe Devon/ Anoover |
A certain Jewish actor bedded a woman from his school who was anti Jewish.
After he fucked her he asked 'what was it like having a circumcised cock in you.' He never recorded her response.
For myself I would not wish to fuck anyone I disagreed with on matters of ethics. |
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"Yes, to a point. It would depend on how far and extreme those beliefs are.
Disagree is one thing, but when something greatly conflicts with views I feel strongly about or it's a very extreme take on their part, then no.
I may not know every single little detail and their views on everything but for me to be at the point of wanting to get with them, I'll have a pretty good idea on the person they are and their views in general.
I'd have sex with kai"
We can't! Em said it can't happen |
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I'm very much with the 'it depends' crowd. It would ultimately be down to, did whatever said person do make them become less attractive as a human being? If it was enough to change my view of them (to their detriment), then no. But if it was just some momentary irksome comment/action that raised an eyebrow then I'd probably be able to overlook it. |
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"you find physically attractive and they tick all your boxes sexually wise but you don’t necessarily agree with their values and beliefs, or even with who they are as a person?
I’m talking one off type of situation, not an ongoing thing.
(Purely hypothetical question of course, for entertainment and research purposes only.)"
We play predominantly in clubs and there I don't necessarily ask for a guy's name, let alone his political or religious views. As long as there is a mutual physical attraction that's enough for good sex. |
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By *l_JJMan 5 weeks ago
South Essex |
"Ok, so for those who said they would - clubs aside - what would you do or say after, if anything? Or just ghost/block if it was from here?"
Ghosting or blocking feels a bit harsh unless something really bad happened. If it’s a one-off, I’d at least say a quick ‘thanks for the night’ or something polite before moving on.
At the end of the day, we’re all here for fun, and a bit of respect goes a long way,even if it’s not going anywhere after that.
What about you,do you think there’s a ‘right’ way to handle it, or is it all situational?. |
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"Ok, so for those who said they would - clubs aside - what would you do or say after, if anything? Or just ghost/block if it was from here?"
It’s a one off thing like you said and I’m sure if it was arranged through this site our objective would be common, good sex. Therefore, I personally wouldn’t care about their views or who they voted for and if they were values I didn’t agree with then that’s ok, they’re entitled to those, it wouldn’t make a difference to what I thought. |
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The 3 things at the top of my list of absolutely No No's are:
Anyone that is Antivax.
Anyone that is a Trump supporter.
Anyone that is a Max Vestappen or Redbull fan.
I would not have sex with anyone that endorses the above |
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"Ok, so for those who said they would - clubs aside - what would you do or say after, if anything? Or just ghost/block if it was from here?
Ghosting or blocking feels a bit harsh unless something really bad happened. If it’s a one-off, I’d at least say a quick ‘thanks for the night’ or something polite before moving on.
At the end of the day, we’re all here for fun, and a bit of respect goes a long way,even if it’s not going anywhere after that.
What about you,do you think there’s a ‘right’ way to handle it, or is it all situational?."
I most likely wouldn’t proceed further if I had any doubts but although situational, it’s about the respect but also emotional intelligence and maturity how people will handle the situation. |
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I've met people through fab who had amazing pics on their profile and initially appeared to be generous human beings and were complimented daily on the forums.
Then covid lockdown arrived and over a period of a few months continued chat they revealed their true self full of hatred for people they pretended to be fab friends with in public and very comfortable sharing other people's personal details.
Thankfully my relationship with them had never gone beyond a social but to answer the original question, any attraction I have for others will always be tempered by how they speak to or about others and how they conduct themselves.
I've never been attracted to those who turn ugly as soon as they open their mouths so it doesn't matter how they present themselves physically if they don't have a personality to match.
It's one of the reasons I'm extremely fussy who I meet on here and even more so when it comes to having sex |
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It depends on what those beliefs are…
If they like pineapple on pizza, or prefer vanilla over chocolate ice cream, I can let it slide.
If they are in any way racist, misogynistic, ignorant or downright stupid I just can’t. No matter how good they look or how good they are at the sex. I wouldn’t know the latter anyway because that is why I spend a lot of time talking on here followed by a social. |
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Yes I’m a man ! As would most men if she was stood in front of you naked and asking you to fuck her !!!! But I do understand where you are coming from .I don’t think guys on here are looking for the connection you are asking . |
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By *sWyldWoman 5 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
Yea. I had a date with a Tory recently and despite his views I still would have. He was pretty and I got the impression he would have been a lot of fun. However he quickly ruined his chances in other ways. |
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Not sure I could … the sexual attraction stakes are important for course but if someone had values and ethics that could slide under a slug I’ll lose the attraction in the chat before sexual liaison could commence .. and I include Salam Hayek in that ..
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"Not sure I could … the sexual attraction stakes are important for course but if someone had values and ethics that could slide under a slug I’ll lose the attraction in the chat before sexual liaison could commence .. and I include Salam Hayek in that ..
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Not that SH has poor ethics or values… I just fancy the pants off her … |
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"Yes I’m a man ! As would most men if she was stood in front of you naked and asking you to fuck her !!!! But I do understand where you are coming from .I don’t think guys on here are looking for the connection you are asking ."
You’re assuming that most men are the same as you; look at the replies and you’ll find it’s very different. |
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By *mf123Man 5 weeks ago
with one foot out the door |
Yes i dont care peoples values or politics im in it for making orgasms if i were in it to begin with
But saying that if shes dull as a dead fish now thats a different story i cant get a hardon for boring people who dont laugh |
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Yes, unless their views are exceptionally extreme. The "never fuck a Tory" brigade is a good example of self-righteousness gone wonky. If we can't accept that other people have different beliefs (and that their beliefs are equally valid to ours) we are missing the point of humanity.
Besides, there are some hot young Tory women... |
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"you find physically attractive and they tick all your boxes sexually wise but you don’t necessarily agree with their values and beliefs, or even with who they are as a person?
I’m talking one off type of situation, not an ongoing thing.
(Purely hypothetical question of course, for entertainment and research purposes only.)"
I could, I'd love to hate fuck a Tory. |
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If it is a one off and you're not likely to see them again why not? A lot of women have only got with me purely to tick a box off of their "Fuck-it" List, which stings for a bit but if I know that it is only sex and isn't going anywhere further then you get on with it and move on. |
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In principle, if the only thing I'm doing with them is having sex, then I won't even be aware of anything about them that I disagree with. However as in practice it seems that the only way I get to have sex with someone is after a long period of talking and social interaction (anything from 6 months to ten years), if we're going to disagree on important matters then we'll never even get as far as shagging... |
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"you find physically attractive and they tick all your boxes sexually wise but you don’t necessarily agree with their values and beliefs, or even with who they are as a person?
I’m talking one off type of situation, not an ongoing thing.
(Purely hypothetical question of course, for entertainment and research purposes only.)"
Sure as I would only looking to fuck / cum and then bounce out. In effect I’d see them merely as toy thing to use and discard once finished |
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"Say for instance, they love to eat horse meet; I'll still fuck them, but I'll never kiss them.
What about if they wanted to ride you? Cowgirl style 
Obvs he likes horses! Bucking bronco him up!"
Oh I didn't think that through 🤣🤣🤣 |
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I'm vegan, so I disagree with the actions and beliefs of 98% of the population - so, if I ever want to get laid then I need to compromise.
(never in a relationship though)
But, if someone was a fox hunter, fur hag, vivisector or consciously involved in animal abuse that would be an entirely different matter.
There are a few other issues I wouldn't like to compromise on, but at the end of the day, it all depends on how blue my balls are.  |
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By *sjrcMan 5 weeks ago
Glasgow |
Yeah, to a limit anyway. Don’t think could shag a raging facist or racist, but yeah it good to mix, shag, talk… to folk with different perspectives and beliefs. Especially yes if it purely fucking |
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By *luttTV/TS 5 weeks ago
Duns |
"you find physically attractive and they tick all your boxes sexually wise but you don’t necessarily agree with their values and beliefs, or even with who they are as a person?
I’m talking one off type of situation, not an ongoing thing.
(Purely hypothetical question of course, for entertainment and research purposes only.)"
It’s simply a question of how far really, along I suppose with how much talking is involved! |
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By *apio51Man 5 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
Really depends on the level of fuckery they were operating at and/or how vocal they were about it.
I’m all for differences of opinion, even discussions about them but narrow mindedness or the inability to accept that someone else happens to have a difference of opinion is more likely to turn me off someone than a different belief system.
Homophobia is probably a red line, as is transphobia. But, I guess, they have to speak about it for me to know, and I don’t think that subject would come up in casual conversation.
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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago
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"Say for instance, they love to eat horse meet; I'll still fuck them, but I'll never kiss them.
What about if they wanted to ride you? Cowgirl style "
I love cowgirl style  |
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Ah, the classic "hot but not so hot on their beliefs" dilemma! It’s like finding a perfect piece of chocolate cake only to discover it’s been baked with a side of questionable politics. 🍰🤔
So, here’s my take. If it’s just a one-off, and you’re equipped with a strong moral compass (and a really good sense of humour), you could probably navigate those waters. I mean, if you can keep it light and fun, who says you can’t enjoy dessert without having to eat the whole meal? Just remember to keep your brain in gear while your heart (and other things) are getting all googly-eyed!
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"I think we'd have difficulty getting it on with Trumpist no matter how hot they were. I find it difficult to see how it would affect you and having a meet with someone or a couple. "
It would affect us because we don't just turn up and gace sex with people and go home. We want to have a bit of banter. We want to like the person, not just find them physically attractive. We're likely to talk about things that matter to us and them.
If we find that somebody has views and values that are diametrically opposed to ours, we're not really going to like them. If we don't lijetgem, we're not going to want to have sex with them.
Liking different music, food, films etc. won't make much difference. Having a fundamentally different view of decency and reality (which we find in Trump-supporters) is something that would put us off intimacy with them. |
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In clubs and parties we fuck as a one off, purely based on attraction 
