This phrase bugs me, what makes swinging a lifestyle when no other sexual acts are a lifestyle, what is it with "the scene" is that not just going out and being social? Is swinging not just a bit of added fun? It seems to get taken very seriously for something which is basically just sex.
So I guess I'm asking what makes this a "lifestyle" for you?
And I guess why is just sex so important that it becomes a lifestyle over just fun and frolics?
Mrs |
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I'd say it's a clear communication between people you meet inside of it and people you meet outside of it. Inside of it there's no need for explanations or complications, we all know what we are here for. |
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By *eyeYCouple 4 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
Had never really considered the term, which we honestly use from time to time..
But we don't consider ourselves in the 'lifestyle' but would say it's a lifestyle choice, as maybe going to the gym regularly is. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 4 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
I've never really overthought it myself, but if I had to try and define it I'd say it involved a more 'long term' view, involving clubs, a strong social element, clear communication, ethics and of course consent.
As opposed to just being about a quick hook up via the Internet.
But hey. Everyone will have their own thoughts and they'll be right for them. 🤷♂️ |
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By *essaMayWoman 4 weeks ago
Fairytale Wood |
You could spend a lot of time traveling - is a lifestyle. Artists and musicians who work and gig is a lifestyle (rock n roll lifestyle). Sport, gym, outdoor activities etc are all lifestyles, as i swinging. Simply means the way in which you enjoy your life. Well that's the way i see the term.  |
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It's not a lifestyle to us either. I think its described as 'the lifestyle' in America which *to me* separates it from 'a' lifestyle which I feel is basically how you live your life.
I can think of little worse than my lifestyle being based around swinging. |
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We're in what could be considered a "lifestyle" D/s relationship - which basically would mean that we live like that, it's not confined to sex or to specific scenes or whatever. There are meal plans.
I guess a "lifestyle" swinger is someone who builds their life around going to swingers parties, has friends primarily in the swinger community, etc. Vs someone that just dips in and out of it.
Having said all that, I suspect it's just a euphemism. |
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I guess when you’re in it, it feels very normal, but to other people you are in some kind of strange lifestyle.
But it’s just like the gay community, the trans community the black community, these communities don’t actually exist. Their are a wide range of people within them with very different lifestyles, ideas and views, often with very little in common. |
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"I guess when you’re in it, it feels very normal, but to other people you are in some kind of strange lifestyle.
But it’s just like the gay community, the trans community the black community, these communities don’t actually exist. Their are a wide range of people within them with very different lifestyles, ideas and views, often with very little in common."
👆this |
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I like 'lifestyle' less than I like 'the scene' and I don't like 'the scene' at all.
Swinging is no more than a vast variety of differing individuals whose morals and attitudes seem to change according to their needs.
If a couple who choose to engage with others in sex , introduce a single person , another couple or a disparate gang for a bang to each other then that is all that happened. It's hardly a lifestyle.
I'd say they had an experience.. s'all |
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"This phrase bugs me, what makes swinging a lifestyle when no other sexual acts are a lifestyle, what is it with "the scene" is that not just going out and being social? Is swinging not just a bit of added fun? It seems to get taken very seriously for something which is basically just sex.
So I guess I'm asking what makes this a "lifestyle" for you?
And I guess why is just sex so important that it becomes a lifestyle over just fun and frolics?
Mrs "
Fair point, similar to the point about sex site v swinging site... Real swingers v plastic swingers ... At the end it's just words.. As FR David would say. |
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I use this term along with the “scene” more so out of habit than anything else… I describe it that way as many of my good friends and most importantly my girlfriend, I met through all this. We enjoy activities both together in and outside of swinging.
Definitely don’t have any kind of superiority complex simply because I use a specific phrase that others may not like to believe is such.
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I've always said that for me it's nothing more than a hobby and has never or will never be a lifestyle choice.
It's one of those terms that can be taken different ways including hinting at elitism. |
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I suppose you have to have an open mind to the fact that everyone has differing scales of 'swinging' and labeling it so.
For some it's just sex, whether frequently or infrequently, for others it can be forming connections, relationships, friendships and engaging within the swinging world most frequently and it becoming part of your life rather than a hobby.
We consider that we have a swinging lifestyle. Swinging has been a large part of our life for a long time, we've made friendships and connections with people who are involved in our daily lives as well as those we just meet for one offs.
At no point have we ever considered ourselves elite or above anyone just because we use the word 'lifestyle' - it just simply is something that forms a large proportion of our day to day life and we fucking love it.
We couldn't give two shits what term you use to describe what you do as a Swinger, whether you've been involved for 2 mins or many years, whether you make connections or just fuck - all we care about is people being decent, accepting, inclusive and understanding that everyone is entitled to their own way of experiencing and, if they want to, labelling swinging.
Just enjoy it for what it is, fuck the labels and don't get too hung up on what people may term things - makes life a lot more enjoyable 😊
S xxx
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I'm not so sure about people wanting to feel superior but it does smack of people wanting a secret , a dirty secret to make them feel special. Like someone having an affair and thinking, ' Oh if only you all knew you wouldn't think I was little innocent Jane then!'
Sort of like that. Like someone in a club or the Masons. Just having that something that sets them aside from others.
It's just an open attitude to sex 's all |
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"I'm not so sure about people wanting to feel superior but it does smack of people wanting a secret , a dirty secret to make them feel special. Like someone having an affair and thinking, ' Oh if only you all knew you wouldn't think I was little innocent Jane then!'
Sort of like that. Like someone in a club or the Masons. Just having that something that sets them aside from others.
It's just an open attitude to sex 's all "
Yeah it does carry that kind of feel to it. |
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To me, it's always meant the people that make this their whole lives. I've come across of a few of them over the years. I've never understood it but it's their choice. I just dip in and out when I feel like it, im not one of those people that can make it their entire social life. |
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"This phrase bugs me, what makes swinging a lifestyle when no other sexual acts are a lifestyle, what is it with "the scene" is that not just going out and being social? Is swinging not just a bit of added fun? It seems to get taken very seriously for something which is basically just sex.
So I guess I'm asking what makes this a "lifestyle" for you?
And I guess why is just sex so important that it becomes a lifestyle over just fun and frolics?
Mrs "
Have to agree. It isn’t a lifestyle for us. Neither would going for a bike ride be a lifestyle. |
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There are elements of a lifestyle in most things
If you cycle for yourself then that’s what you do, you cycle, like sex between you and a partner, it’s sex
If you are a member of a cycling club, cycle with them regularly and maybe enter events then it’s part of your lifestyle.
Just my thoughts |
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"This phrase bugs me, what makes swinging a lifestyle when no other sexual acts are a lifestyle, what is it with "the scene" is that not just going out and being social? Is swinging not just a bit of added fun? It seems to get taken very seriously for something which is basically just sex.
So I guess I'm asking what makes this a "lifestyle" for you?
And I guess why is just sex so important that it becomes a lifestyle over just fun and frolics?
Mrs "
agreed how many ways can you do sex not that many if you think about it ,suppose the bit that's important is different partners that obviously encourages great sex . |
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