FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > kids at weddings
kids at weddings
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Each to their own. I would find it odd not having the usual rabble of kids that appear at family celebrations. Saying that by the time I get married probably be all grown up! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends on the relationship really, family is one thing but if we have friends we are friends with them not their kids, would you invite your friends siblings or parents? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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my brothers Mrs didn't allow kids at their wedding, she said she wanted people to enjoy themselves and not be running around after kids and have kids crying cause they tired etc she felt it would spoil the day
Her wedding so was upto her I guess, there was a few family members who didn't go because of this, again that's their choice |
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By *win PeaksCouple
over a year ago
Northamptonshire |
For a family wedding a couple of years ago we were told no kids in a round about way, not officially on the invitation. Now my way of thinking is that MY family is my hubby and kids, then parents & siblings, cousins etc. So when I sent back our RSVP, i wrote that we and the kids would be very happy to go to the reception, which we did. They had hired a large room in a nice hotel, which was half empty, many of those invited didn't come as they didn't like to leave their kids home for a Family event.
Horses for courses i spose.
N |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have to be honest I have very little tolerance to children and prefer to go to child free zones  "
Well said sexynymph
Children are usually best not seen and not heard  |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"On tv at the min is the Four Weddings programme... one bride is not allowing children at her wedding
Discuss...
For me children are family and should be invited  "
I would say no kids under the age of 12 after 9pm. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think children should be invited to weddings, i would hate to go to a wedding where there were no children, it seems unatural to me.
We had children at our wedding, it was perfect |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The only kids at our wedding were our 2 we made it clear no kids were allowed to come, because I'm our opinion the ruin it, and are a rain in the arse always pulling on the wedding dress, infact one of the wife's friends turned up with her son and I sent her away, and our wedding was brilliant didn't miss out on anything not having other people's children there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not married myself but I wouldn't want kids there. With my family I probably wouldn't get away with that so the little shits would probably ruin the day  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not married myself but I wouldn't want kids there. With my family I probably wouldn't get away with that so the little shits would probably ruin the day "
Get married abroad in term time.... Should out most of the ankle biters |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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my.best friend said no kids at her wedding ...so having travelled 300 miles to get there ...then arrange childcare for day ....was rather annoyed when i got to her wedding to find kids there whos parents lived in same area ....who had told her cant arrange childcare ....worst part is she godmother to my children .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having a young child myself and most of my friends also having children i think it would be a great atmosphere if it was a sunny day and an outside afternoon event. Perhaps put a time limit on them being there so that it was a child free event after 9pm |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Each to their own. Some people want them there, others don't. I'm not offended either way. My preference however is to let them come, otherwise I will have no excuse for sliding across the dance floor on my knees and will just look sad! |
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I'd say it's entirely up to the couple who are getting married, it's their day and their choice.
When my sons were younger we have been to both child friendly and not child friendly weddings....and adjusted our arrangements accordingly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd say it's entirely up to the couple who are getting married, it's their day and their choice.
When my sons were younger we have been to both child friendly and not child friendly weddings....and adjusted our arrangements accordingly."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I was to get married (which I won't because I think it's pointless) there will be no children at all at the service. I don't want a child crying all the way through.
Maybe at the reception though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At our wedding we said no kids, as we didn't want them running about the place.
Funny thing was everyone said it was a good idea except my sister who kicked off badly and was promptly removed from the guest list LoL |
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if i ever get married i would invite kids but i would expect the parets to remember they are parent and not just see it as a ight out with a room full of free babysitters 
i personally dont like to see kids out late at night, even if it is a party. even on holiday wth my syster we would go back to the room early so the kids could sleep properly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends on the relationship really, family is one thing but if we have friends we are friends with them not their kids, would you invite your friends siblings or parents?"
Siblings and parents are a different thing from kids..
Kids are dependants. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me children are amazing and I'd rather have just kids on the list than grumpy adults bitching about how I choose to live my life and getting d*unk and kicking off |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"For me children are amazing and I'd rather have just kids on the list than grumpy adults bitching about how I choose to live my life and getting d*unk and kicking off "
Thats fine BEFORE 9pm.....  |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Depends on the relationship really, family is one thing but if we have friends we are friends with them not their kids, would you invite your friends siblings or parents?
Siblings and parents are a different thing from kids..
Kids are dependants."
And they are the responsibility of the parents not the wedding couple. My brother had a no children rule at his wedding though they did go to the reception until 9pm. It was then expected they would be taken home and put in bed - as they should be. I had no problem with this even though my daughter was one of the bridesmaids. She had a lovely time and we got a babysitter. Not a problem. And I could then relax for the rest of the evening without worrying about her, trying to keep her entertained or not irritate or annoy others. Plus she was really flagging by then anyway - she needed to get to bed. It's a long day for little ones. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"For me children are amazing and I'd rather have just kids on the list than grumpy adults bitching about how I choose to live my life and getting d*unk and kicking off "
I agree with you and I would include children as weddings for me a family matters. That said, I would keep mine under some control and would not allow them to spoil things for other people. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Depends on the relationship really, family is one thing but if we have friends we are friends with them not their kids, would you invite your friends siblings or parents?
Siblings and parents are a different thing from kids..
Kids are dependants.
And they are the responsibility of the parents not the wedding couple. My brother had a no children rule at his wedding though they did go to the reception until 9pm. It was then expected they would be taken home and put in bed - as they should be. I had no problem with this even though my daughter was one of the bridesmaids. She had a lovely time and we got a babysitter. Not a problem. And I could then relax for the rest of the evening without worrying about her, trying to keep her entertained or not irritate or annoy others. Plus she was really flagging by then anyway - she needed to get to bed. It's a long day for little ones."
That makes a lot of sense |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Depends on the relationship really, family is one thing but if we have friends we are friends with them not their kids, would you invite your friends siblings or parents?
Siblings and parents are a different thing from kids..
Kids are dependants.
And they are the responsibility of the parents not the wedding couple. My brother had a no children rule at his wedding though they did go to the reception until 9pm. It was then expected they would be taken home and put in bed - as they should be. I had no problem with this even though my daughter was one of the bridesmaids. She had a lovely time and we got a babysitter. Not a problem. And I could then relax for the rest of the evening without worrying about her, trying to keep her entertained or not irritate or annoy others. Plus she was really flagging by then anyway - she needed to get to bed. It's a long day for little ones."
I can see your point,too - and especially when they are very young, too to appreciate what is going on. It all depends on the age, maturity of the children and the setting and how suitable it is for the kids. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On tv at the min is the Four Weddings programme... one bride is not allowing children at her wedding
Discuss...
For me children are family and should be invited "
Its what some choose as kids can disturb things. Personally though i think they bring merriment and laughter to any gathering but thats me. |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"On tv at the min is the Four Weddings programme... one bride is not allowing children at her wedding
Discuss...
For me children are family and should be invited
Its what some choose as kids can disturb things. Personally though i think they bring merriment and laughter to any gathering but thats me. "
They can also end up being bothered by the embarrassing d*unken uncle! LOL (Sorry thinking of family gatherings when I was a kid). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On tv at the min is the Four Weddings programme... one bride is not allowing children at her wedding
Discuss...
For me children are family and should be invited
Its what some choose as kids can disturb things. Personally though i think they bring merriment and laughter to any gathering but thats me.
They can also end up being bothered by the embarrassing d*unken uncle! LOL (Sorry thinking of family gatherings when I was a kid)."
Lol i had an aunt who got sloshed and always wanted to pinch us small ones cheeks at weddings. Lot of nipping under trestle tables when I was knee high to avoid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Children are OK if their parents can control them, but that seems very rare these days! "
That is so true many have appalling manners you can see why some don't want them at weddings. |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Children are OK if their parents can control them, but that seems very rare these days!
That is so true many have appalling manners you can see why some don't want them at weddings."
It's not necessarily that they have bad manners but that the parents just do not seem to recognise when they are bothering people. The children then never learn 'social' behaviour. The excuse being 'they're just being kids'. Well, actually, they are just being anti-social but do not realise it because they are not being taught how to behave amongst groups of people. Many parents only tell their children off when they irritate THEM! They can irritate everyone else with impunity! |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Children are OK if their parents can control them, but that seems very rare these days!
That is so true many have appalling manners you can see why some don't want them at weddings.
It's not necessarily that they have bad manners but that the parents just do not seem to recognise when they are bothering people. The children then never learn 'social' behaviour. The excuse being 'they're just being kids'. Well, actually, they are just being anti-social but do not realise it because they are not being taught how to behave amongst groups of people. Many parents only tell their children off when they irritate THEM! They can irritate everyone else with impunity!"
This is usually seen in large Department Stores! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Children are OK if their parents can control them, but that seems very rare these days!
That is so true many have appalling manners you can see why some don't want them at weddings.
It's not necessarily that they have bad manners but that the parents just do not seem to recognise when they are bothering people. The children then never learn 'social' behaviour. The excuse being 'they're just being kids'. Well, actually, they are just being anti-social but do not realise it because they are not being taught how to behave amongst groups of people. Many parents only tell their children off when they irritate THEM! They can irritate everyone else with impunity!This is usually seen in large Department Stores! "
Mmm I often have to walk out before I say something to their parents i shouldn't |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Children are OK if their parents can control them, but that seems very rare these days!
That is so true many have appalling manners you can see why some don't want them at weddings.
It's not necessarily that they have bad manners but that the parents just do not seem to recognise when they are bothering people. The children then never learn 'social' behaviour. The excuse being 'they're just being kids'. Well, actually, they are just being anti-social but do not realise it because they are not being taught how to behave amongst groups of people. Many parents only tell their children off when they irritate THEM! They can irritate everyone else with impunity!This is usually seen in large Department Stores!
Mmm I often have to walk out before I say something to their parents i shouldn't "
Me too! Hard to bite your tongue sometimes. We all know that children can kick off in public. Had it myself with my own to my mortification. But, in general, I had no problems taking her out in public, including restaurants. She often made me proud. And there are many many children like that. It is the few who just seem so many! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just a question to the few child haters. Did YOU attend weddings as children?
I have been to all adult ones and they just aren't the same. A wedding is a FAMILY celebration, thats all the generations. Whats next, ban the old biddies because they won't dance? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My Ex-Brother in Law wouldn't allow kids at his wedding, so my Ex refused to go as our two boys couldn't.
Nobody missed her. Least of all me. Nice reception too Lol! |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Just a question to the few child haters. Did YOU attend weddings as children?
I have been to all adult ones and they just aren't the same. A wedding is a FAMILY celebration, thats all the generations. Whats next, ban the old biddies because they won't dance?"
Im not a child hater, I just think after Nine pm kids under the age of 12 should be in bed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On tv at the min is the Four Weddings programme... one bride is not allowing children at her wedding
Discuss...
For me children are family and should be invited "
my brother gets married later this yr, big posh hotel job, youngest 2 bmaid x pageboy, bit not allowed nite do?? yet i am.xpected to stay over at the hotel, erm helloooo children home alone lol.  |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Just a question to the few child haters. Did YOU attend weddings as children?
I have been to all adult ones and they just aren't the same. A wedding is a FAMILY celebration, thats all the generations. Whats next, ban the old biddies because they won't dance?"
Nor am I since I wouldn't have been able to work with them for the past 20 years! And I was a bridesmaid when I was 9. I was still taken home early in the evening and the neighbour watched us (me and my brother). |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"Just a question to the few child haters. Did YOU attend weddings as children?
I have been to all adult ones and they just aren't the same. A wedding is a FAMILY celebration, thats all the generations. Whats next, ban the old biddies because they won't dance?"
No...it's ...respect the wedding couples choice..... Because it is THEIR day.
As for family.....first time I got married, family i'd never met we're dragged out of the woodwork....WHY? Because my bloody mother said it was a family day..... No it wasn't ..... It was my and my partners day....
So before the child friendly crowd get all incensed... Unless it's YOUR day.... Put up and shut up.... Or don't go if your little darlings aren't invited. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a question to the few child haters. Did YOU attend weddings as children?
I have been to all adult ones and they just aren't the same. A wedding is a FAMILY celebration, thats all the generations. Whats next, ban the old biddies because they won't dance?"
I attended weddings as a kid- didn't want to and don't really want to now but at least i can choose more often.
And i don't want to ban the old biddies as they generally don't run round screaming like ferule animals like some children- they usually just get pissed and start telling you stuff you really wouldn't have expected them to have done  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On tv at the min is the Four Weddings programme... one bride is not allowing children at her wedding
Discuss...
For me children are family and should be invited "
This happened to us with a close family member who banned all children except babes in arms. Our reply was that if our kids weren't good enough to attend then they could stick it. Glad we did as later found an exception made for a member of the other family who brought an unruly kid.
Pity was soured a good relationship that had never been the same since. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All this 9pm stuff makes me laugh.. If that's how your kids work then fine, but my son has never been a long sleeper and the earlier he goes to bed the earlier he gets up, no thanks not for me
Also all this talk of children kicking off is what makes life so hard for parents of autistic children  |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"All this 9pm stuff makes me laugh.. If that's how your kids work then fine, but my son has never been a long sleeper and the earlier he goes to bed the earlier he gets up, no thanks not for me
Also all this talk of children kicking off is what makes life so hard for parents of autistic children "
Not all children are autistic and as family or friend at a wedding people would know and understand. People here are talking in general terms. In specific cases I am sure people are, again in general, more understanding. Evening events which go on very late are not the place for small children especially where adults are drinking. That's why children don't tend to be allowed to stay in pubs, even family friendly ones, late on. I worked in pubs years ago. The mix of little ones and d*unken adults carrying glassware around can cause some nasty accidents. I know because I've seen it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At mine my children were the youngest there, My youngest daughter (disabled one) kicked off half way through the vows and i had to stop the service to get someone to take her out of the church. In hind sight it should have been me and kept walking lol.
Apart from that all was great because we had a marque for our reception we had hired a bouncy castle for the children, therefore it kept them off the dance floor and the parents happy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All this 9pm stuff makes me laugh.. If that's how your kids work then fine, but my son has never been a long sleeper and the earlier he goes to bed the earlier he gets up, no thanks not for me
Also all this talk of children kicking off is what makes life so hard for parents of autistic children
Not all children are autistic and as family or friend at a wedding people would know and understand. People here are talking in general terms. In specific cases I am sure people are, again in general, more understanding. Evening events which go on very late are not the place for small children especially where adults are drinking. That's why children don't tend to be allowed to stay in pubs, even family friendly ones, late on. I worked in pubs years ago. The mix of little ones and d*unken adults carrying glassware around can cause some nasty accidents. I know because I've seen it."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All the weddings in our family have been family affairs, a time when family and friends can celebrate and that's always included children and that's what I like to be honest, but I agree it's personal choice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We initially said no children apart from my daughter (2) and my niece (22 months) because they were flower girls. Not because we didn't want children there but because it was pay per head and children were still 20 quid a go. Eventually though we had a few people drop out (childless people too!) And we had everyone bring their children. I loved it and we have some wonderful photos of all the children |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just want to add of we were invited to a wedding that was no children, we wouldn't take it personally, we'd just chalk it up to expense/numbers. And whether we go or not would depend on distance and relationship with the bride and groom. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In 20 years as a wedding photographer, I saw weddings where kids were allowed all day and evening, some just to the day up to about 9pm, and others where no children were allowed to any of it.
Just my personal opinion, but those where there were no children at all (these were very much in the minority) all seemed to lack a 'human element' - the common thread running through all of them was that it all seemed a little too clinical.
Having said that, and without this wishing to sound snobbish, at the other end of the scale were those weddings where there were large numbers of children over whom their parents had little or no control, who had no idea of how to behave (specially during the wedding service) and whose parents I could quite happily have strangled! In particular, one little 'cherub' who thought it was perfectly okay to put the piece of wedding cake he didn't like/want hidden away in the bottom of my camera bag...
I am a little biased though, as the biggest selling reprint I ever supplied would not have been so if it hadn't been for them having a 4 or 5 yr old girl at the wedding, along with her 94 yr old Great, Great Grandmother... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am of the opinion that whatever the bride and groom want should be adhered to.
Weddings are very costly and numbers of guests limited at times, so I'd imagine this is why a no child rule is made. Many patents are personally affronted by this but perhaps if they were asked to pay the additional £60 it could cost for their kids to attend then they might have a different viewpoint.
I had very young bridesmaids so kids were allowed but only family and very close friends' children in the daytime. In the evening people had the option to bring children as the catering was a buffet so cost wasn't as much an issue as the sit down meal and limited room for the daytime.
As for the 9pm deadline then I believe one evening out of kilter to a Childs bedtime is not an issue with parents. I didn't have d*unken carryings on at my reception but I'd rather get rid of the loud and overbearing drinkers than the kids |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Any wedding I've been invited too my children have also been invited to but that's because I guess as they were growing up ( they're 17,15 13 now) I could take them anywhere and they Always behaved themselves.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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my son is getting married in 7wks time, and they opted for no children at their wedding, one of the guest's had said she WAS bringing her wee girl as she had no one to look after her(grandparents live 20mins away) or they weren't coming...so she was told 'well thats a shame as we will miss you,but thats your choice'...only reason for no kids was that they wanted everyone to enjoy themselves and not have to be running after kids all day, and yes also a costly event and as we all know most kids don't eat the meal anyway but still has to be paid for!
It is their big day after all so they should have it how they want it! |
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My daughter got married last year and the only stipulation my son-in-law had was no children at the ceremony.
All the weddings they'd been to were marred by kids crying during the exchange of the vows and he didn't want that. They only invited 50 close family and friends to the wedding breakfast but had an evening reception for everyone.
There was one child there my sisters 10 year old daughter. Since my sister and her family live in Italy she was not going to leave her behind.
Naturally their decision caused problems my other sister was upset as she has a 10 year old too, but she also has an unruly 5 year old. My sister helped raise my daughter, she used to spend the weekends with her young, trendy aunt, so she was upset, but it was their wedding.
It wouldn't cross my mind to exclude kids, there were 600 people at my wedding, the church was packed. Our parents invited the world and catered for them too...it's a celebration.
Nowadays everything is so formal, but people can have their day how they want without people being offended. |
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"I'd say it's entirely up to the couple who are getting married, it's their day and their choice.
When my sons were younger we have been to both child friendly and not child friendly weddings....and adjusted our arrangements accordingly."
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"Just a question to the few child haters. Did YOU attend weddings as children?
I have been to all adult ones and they just aren't the same. A wedding is a FAMILY celebration, thats all the generations. Whats next, ban the old biddies because they won't dance?
No...it's ...respect the wedding couples choice..... Because it is THEIR day.
As for family.....first time I got married, family i'd never met we're dragged out of the woodwork....WHY? Because my bloody mother said it was a family day..... No it wasn't ..... It was my and my partners day....
So before the child friendly crowd get all incensed... Unless it's YOUR day.... Put up and shut up.... Or don't go if your little darlings aren't invited."
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"my son is getting married in 7wks time, and they opted for no children at their wedding, one of the guest's had said she WAS bringing her wee girl as she had no one to look after her(grandparents live 20mins away) or they weren't coming...so she was told 'well thats a shame as we will miss you,but thats your choice'...only reason for no kids was that they wanted everyone to enjoy themselves and not have to be running after kids all day, and yes also a costly event and as we all know most kids don't eat the meal anyway but still has to be paid for!
It is their big day after all so they should have it how they want it!"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it is the choice of those getting married. It is THEIR day - not any children's day. And they are, after all, paying for it! "
Exactly, some parents see it as an excuse to dress up their "little darlings" like Victorian dolls and forget its the bride and grooms special day and not just a chance to exhibit their annoying brats.
Not everyone views your kids with the same love and adoration as you do, to many they can be seen as a bloody annoyance.
We recently went to a church wedding where there was a perfectly behaved babe in arms and the young daughter of a bridesmaid who was a pain in the arse.
She ran around out of control and caused the service to be stopped several time while her over indulgent parents and gran parents looked on smiling.
Young kids don't understand whats going on, get bored and are for the most part total pests.
Its the same at receptions, after all you don't take your kids for a night out at the pub do you......or do you? 
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