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Losing my virginity, help needed!!
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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Good morning Dear Forumites
I have always struggled to attract the opposite sex and Fab has been no exception.
On the back of a thread i wrote, it seems I finally might get to lose my virginity!!
Who would of believed it…..not me 😳
So good people of the forum, i need as much help as possible to find my way around a woman.
I have no idea where to start, should i expect anal, will i need to be pegged, shall i practice breathing through my ears?
So many questions and so few answers.
Pleeeeeease help, i really need it.
TIA |
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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If you can’t locate the clitoris, ask. When she shows you, ignore it. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. It’s actually located slightly to the left of where she said. You have to aggressively rub, rub like you’re trying to sand down a piece of wood.
You’re welcome. |
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"If you can’t locate the clitoris, ask."
·
Don't be ridiculous, oh vociferously voracious vixen, these days every modern woman has a micro-GPS receiver subcutaneously embedded into her clítórís. It's now easy to find. Failing that, a (moral) compass also helps, backed up by the waxing and waning of the moon and the ebb and flow of the tides. We've never had it so good.
I know where yours is...top shelf at the food hall at Harvey Nichols™. 🦋 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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"Definitely, you should always expect anal just make sure you are well pre-lubed to receive…..
 "
I will cum prepared and I suppose I have to receive before i give.
Thanks for the heads up  |
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As we all know, women never mean what they say or say what they mean. So when they tell you something during sex you've actually to do the opposite, "gentle" will mean "hard" and "don't stop" means "tighten up and cum well before I've reached orgasm".
Happy to be of assistance. |
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"If you can’t locate the clitoris, ask. When she shows you, ignore it. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. It’s actually located slightly to the left of where she said. You have to aggressively rub, rub like you’re trying to sand down a piece of wood.
You’re welcome. "
Excellent advice |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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"As a fellow virgin OP, I hope you don't mind me pulling up a chair?
If anyone can answer how I have 3 children despite never fornicating as well, that would be a bonus."
Make yourself comfortable, sit back and learn from the Masters of Sex 😉
Immaculate conceptions??
It’s the only explanation  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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"If you can’t locate the clitoris, ask. When she shows you, ignore it. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. It’s actually located slightly to the left of where she said. You have to aggressively rub, rub like you’re trying to sand down a piece of wood.
You’re welcome. "
What’s a clitoris??
It sounds like i better build up my forearm strength but considering the amount of self pleasuring i do…..i have forearms like Popeye  |
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I shall now reveal unto you the secrets of the sex:
The Clitoris is located in Gravesend whilst the mythical Grafenberg spot is somewhere North of Birmingham (I have never yet found it but am sure that I’m tantalisingly near….) 👍🏻 |
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Do not overlook the vital importance of foreplay.
Begin slowly, by taking her out to dinner at the most expensive restaurant within an hour's drive. You should, obviously, provide a chauffeured limousine for her use.
She will liaise with the company regarding pick-up location and after-dinner destinations, which are none of your business. Remember, she is entitled to respect and privacy; under no circumstances should you attempt to share her transport.
Repeat this at weekly intervals until she becomes aroused. You will know when this happens, because she will tell you. |
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"If you can’t locate the clitoris, ask. When she shows you, ignore it. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. It’s actually located slightly to the left of where she said. You have to aggressively rub, rub like you’re trying to sand down a piece of wood.
You’re welcome. "
... ... .... ... might have to pop over the Tay and get you to show me where to put my tongue.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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"As we all know, women never mean what they say or say what they mean. So when they tell you something during sex you've actually to do the opposite, "gentle" will mean "hard" and "don't stop" means "tighten up and cum well before I've reached orgasm".
Happy to be of assistance."
Is this a tried and tested technique that has worked for you?
Do you have any references to verify this?
I feel some people are not taking this thread seriously for some reason.
It is possible that my innocence is being taken advantage of and i am becoming the BUTT of their jokes……nah the good people of Fab wouldn’t do that!!
Would they? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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"Take a cucumber and a snorkel with you … your welcome 😂"
Ok but how would i use these items?
I get i could make cucumber sandwiches but the snorkel?
You suggesting we could make a game where we flip a coin to see who gets the cucumber or snorkel inserted into us? 🤔😳 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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"That's me in the corner,
That's me in the spot-light
Losing my virginity..."
Kudos for changing the words to an amusing song.
It’s stuck in my head now 🙄😁
Hopefully they won’t put a spotlight on me when it happens.
Is that common in swinging clubs…..maybe we could film it and post it on my profile.
It would be a short film though |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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"If you can’t locate the clitoris, ask. When she shows you, ignore it. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. It’s actually located slightly to the left of where she said. You have to aggressively rub, rub like you’re trying to sand down a piece of wood.
You’re welcome.
Excellent advice "
I have been sanding wood all day in anticipation of trying this out.
I am running out of wet wipes and lube also my willy is getting swollen and sore!!! |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS 11 weeks ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"That's me in the corner,
That's me in the spot-light
Losing my virginity...
Kudos for changing the words to an amusing song.
It’s stuck in my head now 🙄😁
Hopefully they won’t put a spotlight on me when it happens.
Is that common in swinging clubs…..maybe we could film it and post it on my profile.
It would be a short film though "
Now there's an idea! 🤩  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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"I shall now reveal unto you the secrets of the sex:
The Clitoris is located in Gravesend whilst the mythical Grafenberg spot is somewhere North of Birmingham (I have never yet found it but am sure that I’m tantalisingly near….) 👍🏻"
I think i need to buy myself a map!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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"The roots of the clitoris are located in the bum hole and very sensitive, girls are far to polite to reveal this but lap away there and you are home and dry."
So it’s not in Gravesend like the above poster suggested?
Ahhh Gravesend is Fab slang for the bum hole!!!
I best be ready to wash and douche their bum hole in anticipation of hitting a home run 😁 |
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Dear OP, it’s all about the teeth. Have you ever noticed on a nature documentary, how the big cats all bite each other when making cat love? Women want that animalistic approach from their beau.
When you’re first kissing, it needs to be teethy. Bite her tongue, rub your teeth against hers and make sure there is lots of saliva transfer. The more the better.
When you’re ‘down there’ dealing with the growler, you make sure you bare your teeth and growl right back at that thing. Don’t back down. Then get in there with enthusiasm for a gurning gash gnash. Use those pearlies to aggressively stimulate her and she’ll be pure putty thereafter. Bite everything and teethbutt the mutt.
Finally, when the time comes to slip her a few inches of your magnificent member, gnaw on everything in reach. Part of her game is swearing and trying to get away - it’s the primal tease and you should grip on with your manly mouth. Success is indicated by the number of pre-orgasmic bite marks you can provide the lucky object of your lust.
I’m looking forward to your update of heavenly bliss. |
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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"Dear OP, it’s all about the teeth. Have you ever noticed on a nature documentary, how the big cats all bite each other when making cat love? Women want that animalistic approach from their beau.
When you’re first kissing, it needs to be teethy. Bite her tongue, rub your teeth against hers and make sure there is lots of saliva transfer. The more the better.
When you’re ‘down there’ dealing with the growler, you make sure you bare your teeth and growl right back at that thing. Don’t back down. Then get in there with enthusiasm for a gurning gash gnash. Use those pearlies to aggressively stimulate her and she’ll be pure putty thereafter. Bite everything and teethbutt the mutt.
Finally, when the time comes to slip her a few inches of your magnificent member, gnaw on everything in reach. Part of her game is swearing and trying to get away - it’s the primal tease and you should grip on with your manly mouth. Success is indicated by the number of pre-orgasmic bite marks you can provide the lucky object of your lust.
I’m looking forward to your update of heavenly bliss."
Wow that's hot 😍🤪 |
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"Dear OP, Women want that animalistic approach from their beau.
This is where Felix should have stopped typing  "
I never know when to stop Effy 😆
Where’s that lurve supremo for some advice on how to win at women…. |
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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"Dear OP, Women want that animalistic approach from their beau.
This is where Felix should have stopped typing
I never know when to stop Effy 😆
Where’s that lurve supremo for some advice on how to win at women…."
Please, don’t do that! |
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"If you can’t locate the clitoris, ask. When she shows you, ignore it. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. It’s actually located slightly to the left of where she said. You have to aggressively rub, rub like you’re trying to sand down a piece of wood.
You’re welcome.
Excellent advice
I have been sanding wood all day in anticipation of trying this out.
I am running out of wet wipes and lube also my willy is getting swollen and sore!!!"
My favourite sex toy is sand paper, you can even get electric sanders  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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"Do not overlook the vital importance of foreplay.
Begin slowly, by taking her out to dinner at the most expensive restaurant within an hour's drive. You should, obviously, provide a chauffeured limousine for her use.
She will liaise with the company regarding pick-up location and after-dinner destinations, which are none of your business. Remember, she is entitled to respect and privacy; under no circumstances should you attempt to share her transport.
Repeat this at weekly intervals until she becomes aroused. You will know when this happens, because she will tell you."
That’s far to Gentlemanly for me.
Maybe I will just do her in the back of the Limo then pick up a McDonalds on the way home |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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"Start anal training now. It’s only a matter of time. "
What the hell are you planning to do with those candles?!!!
It explains why you suggested coconut oil and a log cabin.
Lube me up and no one can hear me scream!!
I am all in, so when are we booking the cabin S?   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 11 weeks ago
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"Start anal training now. It’s only a matter of time.
Careful of seepage and have some paper towels ready"
I think Miss YeuxBleus has me covered…..i feel confident i am in safe hands.
Look at that face, the picture of innocence.
She wouldn’t take advantage of me, i would bet the house on it 😊 |
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