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Fake an excuse for not coming to work today
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By *inaTitzTV/TS 13 weeks ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
In January 2000 I was meant to be working out my notice in a dreadful job and called in every night claiming that I'd caught the Millennium Bug from my computer.
I believe they had strong doubts about this, but as I was due to quit at the end of the week, there wasn't a lot they could do about it.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 13 weeks ago
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"I woke up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it by coming to work "
Personal days are allowed but please report to my office at 9 in the morning for punishment. |
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My dog has eaten my mobile phone,which i use the sat nav on to get to work,in the same place ive worked for past 5 years and still have no idea how to travel from home to there...oh and i must be calling in from the 'land line then 😇😇 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 13 weeks ago
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"I climbed a tree to help a cat and now we’re both stuck
Should I send the firetruck?
After your other reply I’m already out the tree and heading to the office for 9am sharp!"
What a bad boy you are pretending to be stuck in tree. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 13 weeks ago
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"I phoned in today and told the boss "I was sick"
She asked "how sick are you"?
I replied "I'm just licking my sister out"
I'm here all week  "
Pretty sick alright |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 13 weeks ago
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"My dog has eaten my mobile phone,which i use the sat nav on to get to work,in the same place ive worked for past 5 years and still have no idea how to travel from home to there...oh and i must be calling in from the 'land line then 😇😇"
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By (user no longer on site) OP 13 weeks ago
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"Worker to boss " i cannot come to work today because i am sick "
Boss to worker " well how sick are you ? "
Worker to boss " well i am in bed shagging my gran, is that sick enough ? "  "
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By (user no longer on site) OP 13 weeks ago
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"Doctor needed a stool sample so have gone to IKEA to get one not sure why he needs one I only went in for a medical "
Assume your still going around IKEA |
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I pull up a work a few weeks ago. The fog was so bad, I could'nt see the building from the other side of the car park. I did text the boss, to say 'I can't come in today, as I can't find it'. She sent me a laughing emoji.
- true story. |
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Sorry I can’t come into work because my testicles are descending/ascending.(delete as appropriate).
… I’ve got stuff coming out of my thingy
… the remote is stuck up my bum
… my Nannas budgie has died
… my budgies Nanna has died
… you can’t stop the children of the revolution
… one day I’ll fly away. It’s today.
… I think I’m gonna be sad, I think it’s today |
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and got paid still 
I might have to try this one ....