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Sexless marriage
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My husband has dropped the bombshell that because of the medication he's on he can no longer have sex, are there any other couples on here in the same situation and what did you do ? I can't go through life without sex I'm not ready for that yet . |
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"My husband has dropped the bombshell that because of the medication he's on he can no longer have sex, are there any other couples on here in the same situation and what did you do ? I can't go through life without sex I'm not ready for that yet . "
A few people I know joined this site to get that physical fix whilst still enjoying their marriage |
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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Because of my mrs illness mant yearsxago our very mediocre sex came to a end, now 17 years now without female sex, irs something i never ever blame her for but is does sometimes gets frustrating. |
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Since you've been on here as a couple for a year, he's obviously aware that you have access to alternative sources of sex - should you wish.
Time to have a conversation with him about what he's ok with you doing. And if that's not enough for you, time to think about what you're ok with doing behind his back.
It's complicated... |
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"Talk to him discuss other opinions (you meeting alone if he's happy with that) maybe speak to the Dr and discuss other meds.
Communication is key.
Mrs "
This 100% hopefully after a talk you’ll have a clearer idea of next step |
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"My husband has dropped the bombshell that because of the medication he's on he can no longer have sex, are there any other couples on here in the same situation and what did you do ? I can't go through life without sex I'm not ready for that yet . "
From the brief OP I don't want to make assumptions but how does your husband feel about this change that affects him? Have you both spoken openly about it and discussed your feelings? Did you both discuss your potential next steps? Does he have access to the joint profile? How would he feel seeing this thread?
Mrs
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A good few years ago I had a 2 year agreement with a couple with a similar issue.
They had their marriage/relationship which was happy but when she wanted her itch scratched, she'd message me to go visit her. All amicable and worked well until they moved away for his work. I assume they found a new guy to fill in for the physical side of their marriage after they moved |
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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"My husband has dropped the bombshell that because of the medication he's on he can no longer have sex, are there any other couples on here in the same situation and what did you do ? I can't go through life without sex I'm not ready for that yet . "
I'd previously discussed this with my ex and what we'd do in that situation given we had a very healthy sex life and enjoyed 4 or 5 times a week for the 5 years w were together.
From my side I would have been happy to give her permission to play. Depending on the situation I may have wanted her to be discreet or might have wanted her to be open but I wouldn't want her to go without if I couldn't perform.
She, on the other hand, would want me to abstain as the thought of me being with another woman was too much for her.
Fortunately we didn't last as a couple long enough for that to become an issue. |
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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"My husband has dropped the bombshell that because of the medication he's on he can no longer have sex, are there any other couples on here in the same situation and what did you do ? I can't go through life without sex I'm not ready for that yet . "
If you were both on here together then a) he'll be much more open-minded than most, b) he'll already understand how important sex is to you, and c) he's probably already reconciled the emotions of sharing you.
Speak to him and reassure him that there is no threat to your marriage and I'm sure if it comes from a position of love, you'll find a way that works for you both. |
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So tempted to set up a fake male account and post the same question, to see what the responses would be.
In any case, best of luck to both you and your husband OP, and hope a suitable situation can be found that benefits you both. |
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morning you're not on your own at least you have got past the barrier of chatting about the problem my wife decided she no longer wanted sex and moved into another bedroom so I know where you're coming from you love the person but you also need to relieve your frustration love to chat more if you want |
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"Talk to him discuss other opinions (you meeting alone if he's happy with that) maybe speak to the Dr and discuss other meds.
Communication is key.
Mrs "
Yep I agree with all of the above - talk to him  |
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By *bi HaiveMan 13 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Has he spoken to his GP?
If it's an ED issue there may be solutions, but if not then don't forget that sex isn't all about PIV. There are many, many ways to please someone without an election and it won't stop him from being involved with you or others. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 13 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Has he spoken to his GP?
If it's an ED issue there may be solutions, but if not then don't forget that sex isn't all about PIV. There are many, many ways to please someone without an election and it won't stop him from being involved with you or others. "
An election? 😮
I meant erection, obvs. I blame Trump. 🤦♂️🤷♂️ |
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As others have said communication is critical. It's a really tough and sensitive issue. Both of you need to be heard and understood and feel listened to and understood. So you both need to be completely honest and transparent where your at.
You husband issues may not fix (or at least anytime soon). He may not want to fix them, especially if the fix is particularly hard work or has side effects. Some people genuinely stop being sexual which is absolutely no reflection on you or the relationship due to the resaons behind the drop of libido.
A marriage is the sum of its parts. We known people in relationships who don't have sex with each other but do with others and are very happy and very much in love. For example one partner maybe asexual. You can outsource sex in a relationship and still have an awesome loving relationship. Obviously that depends on the mindset, understanding and consent of both people. Also it really is a testament to the security and care for each others needs in a relationship. Being swingers this may already be something you understand more and are closer to than in vanilla relationships. You can be relationship monogamous and sexually non-monogamous. So would outsourcing be something you would both be happy with? Obviously you'd discuss your boundaries on this and how it would play out.
Mr |
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Is he not allowed to have sex because it would be harmful to him or is it that he will no longer be able to get an erection? My ex husband can no longer get an erection due to having had prostrate cancer, he has had terrible depression about it. Instead of being selfish OP and starting a thread like this, how about you take time to think of what this news has done to him.
My ex had to get counselling, he is lucky that he has a very understanding and lovely new partner supporting him.
It is devastating for men when this sort of thing happens. I hope your husband doesn't see this thread.
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By *arnelianWoman 13 weeks ago
Ely/Cambridge - between the two |
I think him going back to his doctor is the second thing that should happen.
The first, being an honest and open discussion about everything. Does he want to get back to having sex with you? Is there anything else going on for him that's not medical? Does he have any interest in foreplay with you? Using toys? Would he be happy for you to find someone to fill the gap? If so, would he want to be a cuck, join in with certain things or let you go alone?
Good luck with it all. I hope you get to a place where you're both happy and it all works for you. |
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"The advice usually given to men is masturbate, do the washing up and buy flowers.
Explain this please 🤔🤔🤔"
It's an oblique reference to the different responses given to men and women who say they're in a sexless marriage. Men are usually told it's their fault and given the advice to stop complaining, masturbate, do more around the house and be more romantic. |
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By *uga40Man 13 weeks ago
Hemel Hempstead |
"My husband has dropped the bombshell that because of the medication he's on he can no longer have sex, are there any other couples on here in the same situation and what did you do ? I can't go through life without sex I'm not ready for that yet . "
my wife went off sex years ago think that was her medidation i just go with it as i still love her
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By *eyeYCouple 13 weeks ago
Nr Leicester |
"The advice usually given to men is masturbate, do the washing up and buy flowers.
Explain this please 🤔🤔🤔
It's an oblique reference to the different responses given to men and women who say they're in a sexless marriage. Men are usually told it's their fault and given the advice to stop complaining, masturbate, do more around the house and be more romantic. "
👍👍
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By *uga40Man 13 weeks ago
Hemel Hempstead |
"The advice usually given to men is masturbate, do the washing up and buy flowers.
Explain this please 🤔🤔🤔
It's an oblique reference to the different responses given to men and women who say they're in a sexless marriage. Men are usually told it's their fault and given the advice to stop complaining, masturbate, do more around the house and be more romantic.
👍👍
"
i already do that |
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yes but its a very delicate conversation. hubby told me to go play, and he watches listens but hes only had me and one other girl i in his life. and hes happy!! i have a bf and he watches. everything isnt always "normal" im getting my best sex and hubby is happy listening xx |
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By *uga40Man 13 weeks ago
Hemel Hempstead |
"yes but its a very delicate conversation. hubby told me to go play, and he watches listens but hes only had me and one other girl i in his life. and hes happy!! i have a bf and he watches. everything isnt always "normal" im getting my best sex and hubby is happy listening xx"
your bf is a lucky guy
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"My husband has dropped the bombshell that because of the medication he's on he can no longer have sex, are there any other couples on here in the same situation and what did you do ? I can't go through life without sex I'm not ready for that yet . "
I have met and continue to meet couples on here similar. Usually the husband is very understanding and even join in some ways. I Don’t know your mans stance on this site or if he knows you’re are here but their are a food few in the same boat. The men know their women have needs he one I know here embrace that even getting involved so there is still that sexual connection. It is a win, win for both as a couple the female get what she needs and the male feels he is giving her what she needs, good luck xx |
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Many years ago my mrs started with Crohns disease. It has played havoc with her anus and pussy, and she didn't want to have sex anymore. We've had separate bedrooms for 15 years now. We still love each other very much and get on so well.
She knows I wank to porn most nights, and really miss the intimacy with her.
She doesn't know I'm here, and I do feel guilty, but I enjoy the sexual lift this gives me. |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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"Divorced.. intimacy is essential sex isn't just pole to hole.. refusing to even attempt is a hard no and goodbye for me.."
I hope you’re not a marriage councillor. |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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"This is why i am here
To have sex with women whose husbands are on medication and can no longer have sex with their wives?
It’s very niché.
No - he was the German philosopher  ."
You’re thinking of Nietzsche, I’m not sure if he fucked other peoples wives but he was fond of a stroke. |
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"This is why i am here
To have sex with women whose husbands are on medication and can no longer have sex with their wives?
It’s very niché.
No - he was the German philosopher ."
There's nothing he couldn't teach ya about the raising of the wrist. |
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"This is why i am here
To have sex with women whose husbands are on medication and can no longer have sex with their wives?
It’s very niché.
No - he was the German philosopher .
There's nothing he couldn't teach ya about the raising of the wrist."
Wasn't that Hitleré? |
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"Divorced.. intimacy is essential sex isn't just pole to hole.. refusing to even attempt is a hard no and goodbye for me..
I hope you’re not a marriage councillor. "
Per marriage counselling... There's Two in a marriage when one REFUSES to address the needs of the other it's over. You can't sugar cost it any other way unless a partner is in a coma or other unconsenting state they are capable of some form of intimacy. |
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By (user no longer on site) 10 weeks ago
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"Divorced.. intimacy is essential sex isn't just pole to hole.. refusing to even attempt is a hard no and goodbye for me..
I hope you’re not a marriage councillor.
Per marriage counselling... There's Two in a marriage when one REFUSES to address the needs of the other it's over. You can't sugar cost it any other way unless a partner is in a coma or other unconsenting state they are capable of some form of intimacy."
 where did she say he’d refused?
She said because of medication he can no longer have sex.
She didn't say he’d refused any intimacy at all. |
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