FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is being bisexual holding me back?
Is being bisexual holding me back?
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Lots of men are "fab straight" for this reason.
On the other hand, lots of people aren't interested in straight men, so there has been a rise in "fab bi" to accommodate that.
Personally I'm "basically straight" but I don't like people who don't meet bi people because I find it a bit ignorant - just my preference, of course. |
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"I was wondering if women/ straight couples don’t get in touch as a result of seeing the bi label ? Even if (like me) playing straight is absolutely fine …"
Yes it will affect your odds somewhat but hey that’s just how it rolls in here |
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Sure, it will be putting some people off - there's a whole thread up there somewhere listing some of the reasons (valid or not).
But there's not a lot you can do about it, so not sure it's one to worry about? |
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"I was wondering if women/ straight couples don’t get in touch as a result of seeing the bi label ? Even if (like me) playing straight is absolutely fine …"
I seem to do just fine with it.
I'd rather be open and honest myself. |
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Be yourself on here and you’ll find your people eventually.
Hide things and admit it further on and people will wonder what else you aren’t telling them or feel the connection was built on a lie.
K |
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"I was wondering if women/ straight couples don’t get in touch as a result of seeing the bi label ? Even if (like me) playing straight is absolutely fine …"
Women won't generally get in touch with you at all by default. It's extremely rare that I get an "unsolicited" message from a woman and I'm straight.
For every 1 woman in your area, you've got to remember that there are around 40 men. Those men are extremely keen, whereas to be honest, even the most sexual women aren't really that keen. Therefore, women get into a lazy state where it's simply not necessary to even try.
The women I know, even if they do like someone, they won't usually try for fear of rejection.
I see the bi label is being a potential deterrent, yes, but I imagine that's why there are so many straight acting bi guys on here!
Regarding couples, where the male element comes into play, I'd imagine you'll probably be ok, but remember that couples too are fed up of single males.
It's just one of those things... |
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"Sure, it will be putting some people off - there's a whole thread up there somewhere listing some of the reasons (valid or not).
But there's not a lot you can do about it, so not sure it's one to worry about?"
Any reason a person doesn't want to have sex with someone is valid. Nobody has to fuck anyone they don't want to, wether it's because they are bi or something else... |
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By *og-ManMan 16 weeks ago
somewhere |
"I was wondering if women/ straight couples don’t get in touch as a result of seeing the bi label ? Even if (like me) playing straight is absolutely fine …"
Lying about who you are and not being comfortable with it is worse
Just be yourself and you'll meet someone that doesn't care if you're bi
It might take a while but that's all part of the fun |
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"Sure, it will be putting some people off - there's a whole thread up there somewhere listing some of the reasons (valid or not).
But there's not a lot you can do about it, so not sure it's one to worry about?
Any reason a person doesn't want to have sex with someone is valid. Nobody has to fuck anyone they don't want to, wether it's because they are bi or something else..."
Sure. Poorly phrased. But let's not rehearse the arguments from other thread here. |
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"I'd say it's more the fact that you're married. "
OP's post is specifically about being bi. His profile says his marriage is open and his wife has access to this account. What's being married got to do with anything? |
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By *rNightMan 16 weeks ago
Coventry |
"I'd say it's more the fact that you're married.
OP's post is specifically about being bi. His profile says his marriage is open and his wife has access to this account. What's being married got to do with anything?"
Exactly! |
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"I'd say it's more the fact that you're married.
OP's post is specifically about being bi. His profile says his marriage is open and his wife has access to this account. What's being married got to do with anything?"
A lot of people won't want to meet someone who's attached. |
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"I'd say it's more the fact that you're married.
OP's post is specifically about being bi. His profile says his marriage is open and his wife has access to this account. What's being married got to do with anything?
A lot of people won't want to meet someone who's attached."
Yes, I know that, Mimi. But as I said, his post was specifically about his sexuality. Would you have honestly mentioned a single female profile being married if she posted an equivalent post? (Yeah, I know it'd be difficult for a woman to do a similar post being as bi women are more than acceptable to the masses but hopefully you get my point) |
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Be honest, be open and just be you. Sure there are some people that don’t want to meet bi folks, it’s all about consent and boundaries though. Would you want to be the person that ignores consent by lying or lies to fuck someone that doesn’t want to meet bi folks? |
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I kept my bi side to myself for nearly two years and with in them two years made some really good friends, which did make it harder for me when I did say I was bi, but all of them still have the same views on me and was happy that I told them, even some of our friends have come out as bi since I have. We host at a club and who ever I meet for the first time if they ask I tell them and if there straight we have still ended up playing with some of them, and if they don’t like the fact I’m bi it’s there loss cos I play straight too . |
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By *oxy jWoman 16 weeks ago
somerset |
"I was wondering if women/ straight couples don’t get in touch as a result of seeing the bi label ? Even if (like me) playing straight is absolutely fine …
Women won't generally get in touch with you at all by default. It's extremely rare that I get an "unsolicited" message from a woman and I'm straight.
For every 1 woman in your area, you've got to remember that there are around 40 men. Those men are extremely keen, whereas to be honest, even the most sexual women aren't really that keen. Therefore, women get into a lazy state where it's simply not necessary to even try.
The women I know, even if they do like someone, they won't usually try for fear of rejection.
I see the bi label is being a potential deterrent, yes, but I imagine that's why there are so many straight acting bi guys on here!
Regarding couples, where the male element comes into play, I'd imagine you'll probably be ok, but remember that couples too are fed up of single males.
It's just one of those things..."
just because women dont message you first dont mean they dont at all i message first and i know loads of others who do too and its works very well too  |
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Thanks guys for the responses - I guess it’s not a factual thing some will reach out or be comfortable with it - some won’t - life I guess.
I just thought I would raise it as an interesting subject - but bottom line completely agree - be yourself and the right people will reciprocate- happy fabbing all ! |
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"Thanks guys for the responses - I guess it’s not a factual thing some will reach out or be comfortable with it - some won’t - life I guess.
I just thought I would raise it as an interesting subject - but bottom line completely agree - be yourself and the right people will reciprocate- happy fabbing all ! "
Excellent way to look at it.
The only thing that would make me stop to think is the curious part. I'd only be interested in a mfm, and I'm not going to be able to satisfy that curiousity for you. But that's a simple conversation. |
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"It will put some people off, others will be more interested, but the most important thing is to be honest. "
That's the point, women who'll only go with straight men are trusting them to be honest.
I've had dozens of 'straight' men ask to meet me.
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"If someone is put off because of your sexuality would you want to meet them anyway? "
This is what I always think when I see those posts and the ones about how men lie as it’s supposed to put women off. Why would you want to meet someone who wouldn’t be into the real you anyway?  |
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By *enelope2UWoman 11 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
I would never be interested in a bi man sexually. But shouldn't really matter as being bi doesn't guarantee you access to all women and all men as most bi men apparently feel it should. |
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"If someone is put off because of your sexuality would you want to meet them anyway?
This is what I always think when I see those posts and the ones about how men lie as it’s supposed to put women off. Why would you want to meet someone who wouldn’t be into the real you anyway? "
Because some bi men are just looking for a fuck and aren't looking for a life partner? Who cares whether they're into "the real you" if you just want a shag? |
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If you were meeting Ailsa and I, it would make no difference to me if you were bi. If we had reached the point of inviting you to join us sexually, we would already know that you were an honourable and respectful man (we wouldn’t be meeting you otherwise), and it would be very easy to establish a boundary. As for Ailsa, should would relish seeing me entangled with a bi man. |
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"If someone is put off because of your sexuality would you want to meet them anyway?
This is what I always think when I see those posts and the ones about how men lie as it’s supposed to put women off. Why would you want to meet someone who wouldn’t be into the real you anyway?
Because some bi men are just looking for a fuck and aren't looking for a life partner? Who cares whether they're into "the real you" if you just want a shag? "
Yeah true. I forget where I am sometimes.
I avoid those type of men |
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By *vaRose43Woman 11 weeks ago
Forest of Dean |
"If someone is put off because of your sexuality would you want to meet them anyway?
This is what I always think when I see those posts and the ones about how men lie as it’s supposed to put women off. Why would you want to meet someone who wouldn’t be into the real you anyway?
Because some bi men are just looking for a fuck and aren't looking for a life partner? Who cares whether they're into "the real you" if you just want a shag? "
I’d say that’s not a position held exclusively to bi guys.
Like Nora, I avoid the quick fuck guys too |
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By *enelope2UWoman 11 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
"If someone is put off because of your sexuality would you want to meet them anyway?
This is what I always think when I see those posts and the ones about how men lie as it’s supposed to put women off. Why would you want to meet someone who wouldn’t be into the real you anyway?
Because some bi men are just looking for a fuck and aren't looking for a life partner? Who cares whether they're into "the real you" if you just want a shag?
Yeah true. I forget where I am sometimes.
I avoid those type of men "
They make it so easy to avoid thankfully |
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Personally, I think that if people refuse to meet bi men, that's entirely on them. There is no logical explanation to me why someone looking to meet men would discount bi men and I wouldn't want to meet those people anyway |
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"Personally, I think that if people refuse to meet bi men, that's entirely on them. There is no logical explanation to me why someone looking to meet men would discount bi men and I wouldn't want to meet those people anyway "
Of course it’s on them. Who else would it be on??? All my reasons for not meeting people are my decision so they’re on me 🤷♀️ |
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"Personally, I think that if people refuse to meet bi men, that's entirely on them. There is no logical explanation to me why someone looking to meet men would discount bi men and I wouldn't want to meet those people anyway
Of course it’s on them. Who else would it be on??? All my reasons for not meeting people are my decision so they’re on me 🤷♀️"
Love this reply. Hehe
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It's unfortunate, but it does happen.
Though it kinda depends what you are looking for out of Fab whether it is "holding you back". Are you in it for the lifestyle? Or for the sex?
Best I can say, look at your profile from the point of view of your own marriage... Would you message you? If the answer is no then your reasons why are probably what's stopping you getting the attention you are looking for.
Those that have annissue with you being openly Bi are always gonna reject you, you can't change people's minds... Just whether you get offended by their rejection or not.
Good luck for the future x |
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"If someone is put off because of your sexuality would you want to meet them anyway?
This is what I always think when I see those posts and the ones about how men lie as it’s supposed to put women off. Why would you want to meet someone who wouldn’t be into the real you anyway?
Because some bi men are just looking for a fuck and aren't looking for a life partner? Who cares whether they're into "the real you" if you just want a shag?
Yeah true. I forget where I am sometimes.
I avoid those type of men
They make it so easy to avoid thankfully "
Nora, Eva, Penelope. Yes, what I said about bi men just wanting a shag and not wanting a life partner obviously applies to straight men as well, but, are you telling me that every man you may have met from here you thought might be a potential life partner, or where you just looking for someone to have sex with? What made you think you knew the "real" them? |
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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You can't win with this one one here I find... If you say you're straight but, god forbid, make any comment that suggests otherwise you'll get bollocked by the self-righteous that walk amongst us.
If you say you're by then you'll be ignored by those with prejudices... |
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One door closes another opens. I'm bi and have it on my profile. Don't often act on it but it's who I am so its what it is. Some couples like it some don't, not the end of the world.
The bigger problems is the guys.. miles and miles away, no photos or profile. Who want to....you got it.... fuck now? Kik? More pics? Meet now? Car wank? Skype? Phone me?
Honestly its so annoying. I'm so close to blocking all single guys  |
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"It will put some people off, others will be more interested, but the most important thing is to be honest.
That's the point, women who'll only go with straight men are trusting them to be honest.
I've had dozens of 'straight' men ask to meet me"
Yeah, and I think it’s a really shitty thing to do for people to lie about their sexuality to get their leg over. People should have the decency to be honest and accept that they won’t be for everyone and everyone won’t be for them. |
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"If someone is put off because of your sexuality would you want to meet them anyway?
This is what I always think when I see those posts and the ones about how men lie as it’s supposed to put women off. Why would you want to meet someone who wouldn’t be into the real you anyway?
Because some bi men are just looking for a fuck and aren't looking for a life partner? Who cares whether they're into "the real you" if you just want a shag?
Yeah true. I forget where I am sometimes.
I avoid those type of men
They make it so easy to avoid thankfully
Nora, Eva, Penelope. Yes, what I said about bi men just wanting a shag and not wanting a life partner obviously applies to straight men as well, but, are you telling me that every man you may have met from here you thought might be a potential life partner, or where you just looking for someone to have sex with? What made you think you knew the "real" them? "
I’m not looking for a potential life partner. Not a chance. What I’m telling you is every man I’ve met here wasn’t someone just looking for a quick fuck. |
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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In day to day life I am very much a straight man. I don't find guys attractive and I'm drawn to female beauty.
However sexually, I love dominant people and I enjoy the act of sex with a guy.
Would I like to meet women on here hell yes, but I do alright in that respect in the real world.
My fab life is very much a dirty little secret so I'm happy to put Bi on mine. If it puts people off so be it  |
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By *enelope2UWoman 11 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
"If someone is put off because of your sexuality would you want to meet them anyway?
This is what I always think when I see those posts and the ones about how men lie as it’s supposed to put women off. Why would you want to meet someone who wouldn’t be into the real you anyway?
Because some bi men are just looking for a fuck and aren't looking for a life partner? Who cares whether they're into "the real you" if you just want a shag?
Yeah true. I forget where I am sometimes.
I avoid those type of men
They make it so easy to avoid thankfully
Nora, Eva, Penelope. Yes, what I said about bi men just wanting a shag and not wanting a life partner obviously applies to straight men as well, but, are you telling me that every man you may have met from here you thought might be a potential life partner, or where you just looking for someone to have sex with? What made you think you knew the "real" them? "
I only fuck a person who knows the real me and who cares about the real me. That doesn't mean I want a life partner or a day partner it means if he doesn't care to know ANYTHING about me other than do I have a hole he can fuck. he's not for me and he will never be for me. I've had 5+ guys and we've chatted outside of sex as much as we've fckd they actually were introduced to me by guys I'd fucked because they knew what I was into and knew their friends could deliver.
So sorry I won't accept bare minimum just because it's what others might settle for. I have zero desire for a bi man and if you want a straight reason I'm not interested in a guy who likes wants or is interested in wanting to be fucked in his ass or wants to suck a dick..yes I am that straightforward with my preference. |
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"If someone is put off because of your sexuality would you want to meet them anyway?
This is what I always think when I see those posts and the ones about how men lie as it’s supposed to put women off. Why would you want to meet someone who wouldn’t be into the real you anyway?
Because some bi men are just looking for a fuck and aren't looking for a life partner? Who cares whether they're into "the real you" if you just want a shag?
Yeah true. I forget where I am sometimes.
I avoid those type of men
They make it so easy to avoid thankfully
Nora, Eva, Penelope. Yes, what I said about bi men just wanting a shag and not wanting a life partner obviously applies to straight men as well, but, are you telling me that every man you may have met from here you thought might be a potential life partner, or where you just looking for someone to have sex with? What made you think you knew the "real" them?
I’m not looking for a potential life partner. Not a chance. What I’m telling you is every man I’ve met here wasn’t someone just looking for a quick fuck. "
All I'm saying is if you're not repeatedly having sex with these guys how do you know they weren't just looking for a fuck. Notice I've never said "quick", doesn't have to be quick, could be an all nigher they were after, but still just a fuck all the same. |
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"If someone is put off because of your sexuality would you want to meet them anyway?
This is what I always think when I see those posts and the ones about how men lie as it’s supposed to put women off. Why would you want to meet someone who wouldn’t be into the real you anyway?
Because some bi men are just looking for a fuck and aren't looking for a life partner? Who cares whether they're into "the real you" if you just want a shag?
Yeah true. I forget where I am sometimes.
I avoid those type of men
They make it so easy to avoid thankfully
Nora, Eva, Penelope. Yes, what I said about bi men just wanting a shag and not wanting a life partner obviously applies to straight men as well, but, are you telling me that every man you may have met from here you thought might be a potential life partner, or where you just looking for someone to have sex with? What made you think you knew the "real" them?
I only fuck a person who knows the real me and who cares about the real me. That doesn't mean I want a life partner or a day partner it means if he doesn't care to know ANYTHING about me other than do I have a hole he can fuck. he's not for me and he will never be for me. I've had 5+ guys and we've chatted outside of sex as much as we've fckd they actually were introduced to me by guys I'd fucked because they knew what I was into and knew their friends could deliver.
So sorry I won't accept bare minimum just because it's what others might settle for. I have zero desire for a bi man and if you want a straight reason I'm not interested in a guy who likes wants or is interested in wanting to be fucked in his ass or wants to suck a dick..yes I am that straightforward with my preference."
I understand and appreciate your response, Penelope. |
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By *enelope2UWoman 11 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
"If someone is put off because of your sexuality would you want to meet them anyway?
This is what I always think when I see those posts and the ones about how men lie as it’s supposed to put women off. Why would you want to meet someone who wouldn’t be into the real you anyway?
Because some bi men are just looking for a fuck and aren't looking for a life partner? Who cares whether they're into "the real you" if you just want a shag?
Yeah true. I forget where I am sometimes.
I avoid those type of men
They make it so easy to avoid thankfully
Nora, Eva, Penelope. Yes, what I said about bi men just wanting a shag and not wanting a life partner obviously applies to straight men as well, but, are you telling me that every man you may have met from here you thought might be a potential life partner, or where you just looking for someone to have sex with? What made you think you knew the "real" them?
I’m not looking for a potential life partner. Not a chance. What I’m telling you is every man I’ve met here wasn’t someone just looking for a quick fuck.
All I'm saying is if you're not repeatedly having sex with these guys how do you know they weren't just looking for a fuck. Notice I've never said "quick", doesn't have to be quick, could be an all nigher they were after, but still just a fuck all the same."
Conversation and character and effort.. I don't do one night stands a d fortunately in my 43 years only have had 2 that became one night stands one by choice and one by ghost. |
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"If someone is put off because of your sexuality would you want to meet them anyway?
This is what I always think when I see those posts and the ones about how men lie as it’s supposed to put women off. Why would you want to meet someone who wouldn’t be into the real you anyway?
Because some bi men are just looking for a fuck and aren't looking for a life partner? Who cares whether they're into "the real you" if you just want a shag?
Yeah true. I forget where I am sometimes.
I avoid those type of men
They make it so easy to avoid thankfully
Nora, Eva, Penelope. Yes, what I said about bi men just wanting a shag and not wanting a life partner obviously applies to straight men as well, but, are you telling me that every man you may have met from here you thought might be a potential life partner, or where you just looking for someone to have sex with? What made you think you knew the "real" them?
I’m not looking for a potential life partner. Not a chance. What I’m telling you is every man I’ve met here wasn’t someone just looking for a quick fuck.
All I'm saying is if you're not repeatedly having sex with these guys how do you know they weren't just looking for a fuck. Notice I've never said "quick", doesn't have to be quick, could be an all nigher they were after, but still just a fuck all the same."
I am though. I’ve never met anyone on here for less than a year. So yes. I do know. |
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"If someone is put off because of your sexuality would you want to meet them anyway?
This is what I always think when I see those posts and the ones about how men lie as it’s supposed to put women off. Why would you want to meet someone who wouldn’t be into the real you anyway?
Because some bi men are just looking for a fuck and aren't looking for a life partner? Who cares whether they're into "the real you" if you just want a shag?
Yeah true. I forget where I am sometimes.
I avoid those type of men
They make it so easy to avoid thankfully
Nora, Eva, Penelope. Yes, what I said about bi men just wanting a shag and not wanting a life partner obviously applies to straight men as well, but, are you telling me that every man you may have met from here you thought might be a potential life partner, or where you just looking for someone to have sex with? What made you think you knew the "real" them?
I’m not looking for a potential life partner. Not a chance. What I’m telling you is every man I’ve met here wasn’t someone just looking for a quick fuck.
All I'm saying is if you're not repeatedly having sex with these guys how do you know they weren't just looking for a fuck. Notice I've never said "quick", doesn't have to be quick, could be an all nigher they were after, but still just a fuck all the same.
I am though. I’ve never met anyone on here for less than a year. So yes. I do know. "
Again, a satisfactory response. Thank you Nora. |
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Be your honest, genuine self.
Because those who do contact you, will have read and accepted the status.
So being honest and genuine is actually a pre-screening and sorting mechanism. Helps them, and helps you.
Transparency is fundamental. |
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If you’re bi, you can play straight but you’re still bi. Yes it’s a turn off. Don’t really want a guy getting horny over me while his supposed to be getting horny over my partner. I think tbh it is holding you back from playing with straight couples. |
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"If you’re bi, you can play straight but you’re still bi. Yes it’s a turn off. Don’t really want a guy getting horny over me while his supposed to be getting horny over my partner. I think tbh it is holding you back from playing with straight couples. "
Just because someone's bi don't mean they are going to find you irresistible. Bi men can control themselves.
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By *vaRose43Woman 11 weeks ago
Forest of Dean |
"If someone is put off because of your sexuality would you want to meet them anyway?
This is what I always think when I see those posts and the ones about how men lie as it’s supposed to put women off. Why would you want to meet someone who wouldn’t be into the real you anyway?
Because some bi men are just looking for a fuck and aren't looking for a life partner? Who cares whether they're into "the real you" if you just want a shag?
Yeah true. I forget where I am sometimes.
I avoid those type of men
They make it so easy to avoid thankfully
Nora, Eva, Penelope. Yes, what I said about bi men just wanting a shag and not wanting a life partner obviously applies to straight men as well, but, are you telling me that every man you may have met from here you thought might be a potential life partner, or where you just looking for someone to have sex with? What made you think you knew the "real" them? "
I never said I was looking for a potential life partner. You’re inferring more to my words than my intention. Just that I think there is a difference between a person who just wants to fuck, and a person who wants to fuck YOU. |
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"I was wondering if women/ straight couples don’t get in touch as a result of seeing the bi label ? Even if (like me) playing straight is absolutely fine …"
We've met bi guys before, but on the conditions that there not trying anything with Mr (genuinely straight with no interest in guys) and the focus is on Mrs (not another guy out dogging, she's not interested in watching anything between 2 guys).
We've noticed that some couples (or rather the guy in the couple) get nervous about being in close proximity to a bi guy. |
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It's swings and roundabouts, some straight women and couples won't meet you, which is their choice. There are however a fair few bi couples on here who will specifically only meet bi men, so maybe concentrate on the people who are obviously looking for what you have to offer. |
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