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Fab Starter Packs
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We've all the meme template. What are some Fab Starter packs? For example:
The "Bi-female Couple" Starter Pack:
- "Looking for that elusive unicorn"
- It's always been the wife's fantasy...
- "Mr will only watch but may join in"
- Always wonder why more women won't join them |
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By *929Man 4 days ago
newcastle |
New Single man member starter
- ugly cock pick as profile so red looks like someone been Chinese burning it the last hour
- message every single female exact same message
- moan on forum when get no replies, call everyone a cunt and leave
|
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"New Single man member starter
- ugly cock pick as profile so red looks like someone been Chinese burning it the last hour
- message every single female exact same message
- moan on forum when get no replies, call everyone a cunt and leave
"
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 |
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The "Does My Wife Know I'm Here" starter pack:
- "Will fill in later?"
- Looks for discrete fun. In discrete places, like behind a bush or the bins at Aldi
- Has two images. One is a close up of a penis over an (unflushed) loo. The feet visible are clad in white (Sports Direct finest).
- The second image is a blank, black avatar 
- Is obviously one of the good ones. But can't work out why no-one is replying. Like really - why aren't all the stuck up [redacteds] replying?
- WhY dOn'T tHeY wAnT mY pEnIs?!  |
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The forum constant:
- Not really meeting at the minute
- Posted on every thread on the first pages and answered all the replies
- References threads created two weeks ago
- "When did the forum become less fun?" ...continues posting |
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By *LiamMan 4 days ago
Midlands |
""Stating The Obvious guy"
Fills in their profile paragraph with age, height, interests etc. information that's already been covered in the tick boxes.
Will fill in more later...
"
I take this personally |
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By *bi HaiveMan 4 days ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
The 'wanderer returns'
-been here before
-if you remember me from last time please verify me
-all those play pics are of the ex and yes they know
-cant accomodate
-interests always include anal and watersports
-I didn't have this hard a job getting meets before
-cut or uncut? |
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The "single guy in a club" starter pack:
- Stands to one corner hoping people approach him
- Wanders around occasionally seeing the same things that were there two minutes ago
- Gets barely two words out of anyone when trying to start a conversation
- Leaves thinking clubs are shit |
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'The Faker'
Blatantly rips off someone else's bio
Uses pics ripped off porn sites
Only genuine pics they may put up of themselves look like Polaroids from the 80s
Age doesn't match on bio and profile |
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"The seasoned forumite
- loves cake
- can't function without coffee
- sarcastic to any newbies questions
- "this sounds like fun, I'm in"
- quirky profile caption
- jokes about platinum membership "
 |
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"The seasoned forumite
- loves cake
- can't function without coffee
- sarcastic to any newbies questions
- "this sounds like fun, I'm in"
- quirky profile caption
- jokes about platinum membership "
Sounds fun, I'm in. 🤩😆 |
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By *aizyWoman 4 days ago
west midlands |
"The seasoned forumite
- loves cake
- can't function without coffee
- sarcastic to any newbies questions
- "this sounds like fun, I'm in"
- quirky profile caption
- jokes about platinum membership "
✔️
✔️
🤔
✔️
✔️
Platinum membership is no joke. |
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"The "single guy in a club" starter pack:
- Stands to one corner hoping people approach him
- Wanders around occasionally seeing the same things that were there two minutes ago
- Gets barely two words out of anyone when trying to start a conversation
- Leaves thinking clubs are shit"
if I do eventually get to a club this ones a legit fear. |
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By *.T.Man 3 days ago
Belfast |
The White Knight Starter Pack:
Trawls forums for maidens to save.
Will post an extensive guide on where other men are going wrong.
Will defend the honour of all fair maidens in the hope of getting his dick wetter than Dr Foster on a trip to Gloucester.
Refers to himself and fellow Knights as "us decent guys" |
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The dusting off the couples pack
- only Mr available
- oh it's Mrs messaging, source trust me bro
- don't you want my hubby's body? It would be your honour?
- no Mrs definitely can't verify that Mrs exists |
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"The dusting off the couples pack
- only Mr available
- oh it's Mrs messaging, source trust me bro
- don't you want my hubby's body? It would be your honour?
- no Mrs definitely can't verify that Mrs exists"
And in Local updates Mr is horny for cock |
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"The dusting off the couples pack
- only Mr available
- oh it's Mrs messaging, source trust me bro
- don't you want my hubby's body? It would be your honour?
- no Mrs definitely can't verify that Mrs exists
And in Local updates Mr is horny for cock "
I've not seen that variant, but I don't doubt it |
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Dick pic. ( bonus points if it is taken over works toilet )
Fill in later.
Message everything with a pulse in a 7,000 mile radius.
Complain that the fact I’m a complete useless fucking idiot is everyone else’s fault.
The mr |
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"The genuine starter pack
New to this world, cpl of pics (not sure)
Limited bio as again not sure
Toe dipping but really shy
Gets fucked off 100% of the time, or overwhelmed within 2 days  "
This is actual me.
|
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The local harlot
*Has over 30 verifications which confirm that she does suck like a Dyson. All of which were taken from individuals private meets.
*Has a partner that does not know she's on fab. But still fucks everything within a 10 mile radius
*Has a piercing on her top lip.
*Constant "who can accommodate me now?" updates.
 |
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"New Single man member starter
- ugly cock pick as profile so red looks like someone been Chinese burning it the last hour
- message every single female exact same message
- moan on forum when get no replies, call everyone a cunt and leave
"
😂😂😂😂 |
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"The seasoned forumite
- loves cake
- can't function without coffee
- sarcastic to any newbies questions
- "this sounds like fun, I'm in"
- quirky profile caption
- jokes about platinum membership "
This sounds fun, I’m in. |
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The fab straight
*States ladies only at least 3 times in his profile.
*Multiple cum on tits photos
*Bj vid from a lady.
*Has 3 webcam veris from other men applauding him on his nice hard dick and his no limits dirty talk.
*Bonus points for the blow and go veri in the Aldi car park.
*Posts in the forum asking for a phonecall right now. |
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"The fab straight
*States ladies only at least 3 times in his profile.
*Multiple cum on tits photos
*Bj vid from a lady.
*Has 3 webcam veris from other men applauding him on his nice hard dick and his no limits dirty talk.
*Bonus points for the blow and go veri in the Aldi car park.
*Posts in the forum asking for a phonecall right now."
aldi car park 🤣 |
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"The legal expert
1. Sydney university statement
2. A few sections of law from outside the UK
3. Threat to take action if anyone looks at their pics
4. Zero verifications "
I've got the knock off version of this one  |
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"The legal expert
1. Sydney university statement
2. A few sections of law from outside the UK
3. Threat to take action if anyone looks at their pics
4. Zero verifications
I've got the knock off version of this one "
It's a pretty good read. |
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The forum pedant
- It's you're not your!
- Starts thread about spelling mistakes that also contains spelling mistakes.
-Demands you define the key word in every discussion.
-Starts every reply with 'research has shown'. |
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By *nesCouple 3 days ago
Milton Keynes, city of dreams |
"The forum pedant
- It's you're not your!
- Starts thread about spelling mistakes that also contains spelling mistakes.
-Demands you define the key word in every discussion.
-Starts every reply with 'research has shown'."
It’s actually your, not you’re. |
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The “self proclaimed dom” starter pack:
• mid 30s - mid 40s
• fairly good body shape
• a few intimidating photos holding his belt ready to use
• “looking for sluts” somewhere in his very short bio
• gets verbally abusive pretty quickly when confronted or, god forbid - rejected.
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"The “self proclaimed dom” starter pack:
• mid 30s - mid 40s
• fairly good body shape
• a few intimidating photos holding his belt ready to use
• “looking for sluts” somewhere in his very short bio
• gets verbally abusive pretty quickly when confronted or, god forbid - rejected.
"
|
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By *sWyldWoman 3 days ago
Edinburgh |
The peri menopausal woman starter pack.
-not meeting, lost mojo
- still posts photos because she just wants to feel a little bit attractive again, even though she knows it has no meaning or substance.
-posts on forums but isn't really cool anymore
-might take everyone by surprise and occasionally have sex or post something overtly filthy.
|
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"The peri menopausal woman starter pack.
-not meeting, lost mojo
- still posts photos because she just wants to feel a little bit attractive again, even though she knows it has no meaning or substance.
-posts on forums but isn't really cool anymore
-might take everyone by surprise and occasionally have sex or post something overtly filthy.
"
This is actually me |
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By *enk15Man 3 days ago
Evesham |
The "Cock-Block thyself" Starter pack:
- Write a profile stating only that you are genuine, educated and want a shag.
- Send out messages en masse with extreme close up of cock.
- After an hour, send follow up messages asking why they haven't shagged you yet.
- Put up passive aggressive status blaming the women of Fab for lack of success
- Start thread asking where it all went wrong. |
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The couple
- "been here a while, we know how it works"
- 300 photos of the lady and a cock pic hidden in the mix
- picture infront of the Liberty Elite sign.
- a lingerie shot next to the lockers.
- "single gents, we'll find you"
- a picture of 6 women's arses lined up.
- gold membership |
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"The couple
- "been here a while, we know how it works"
- 300 photos of the lady and a cock pic hidden in the mix
- picture infront of the Liberty Elite sign.
- a lingerie shot next to the lockers.
- "single gents, we'll find you"
- a picture of 6 women's arses lined up.
- gold membership "
😅😅😅😅 |
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By *sWyldWoman 3 days ago
Edinburgh |
"The peri menopausal woman starter pack.
-not meeting, lost mojo
- still posts photos because she just wants to feel a little bit attractive again, even though she knows it has no meaning or substance.
-posts on forums but isn't really cool anymore
-might take everyone by surprise and occasionally have sex or post something overtly filthy.
This is actually me "
Me too!! |
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"The peri menopausal woman starter pack.
-not meeting, lost mojo
- still posts photos because she just wants to feel a little bit attractive again, even though she knows it has no meaning or substance.
-posts on forums but isn't really cool anymore
-might take everyone by surprise and occasionally have sex or post something overtly filthy.
This is actually me
Me too!! "
I feel seen 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂  |
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The "Funny Forum User" starter pack
- Reminds everyone how sarcastic they are
- Tries to be funnier by adding a comedic reply to an already funny post
- Uses phrases like "rusty Sheriff's badge" and "Gaping fanny" for comedic effect
- Reminds everyone how sarcastic they are. |
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"Surprised no one had cited the
‘I am clearly better than you’ starter pack.
The site is often saturated with it.
I definitely thought there’d be a white knight starter pack! "
There is go up a few. |
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"Surprised no one had cited the
‘I am clearly better than you’ starter pack.
The site is often saturated with it.
I definitely thought there’d be a white knight starter pack!
There is go up a few. "
Ah yeah! Missed it haha 🤦♀️ |
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"Surprised no one had cited the
‘I am clearly better than you’ starter pack.
The site is often saturated with it.
I definitely thought there’d be a white knight starter pack!
There is go up a few.
Ah yeah! Missed it haha 🤦♀️"
i get it I need my glasses back 🤣 |
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"The peri menopausal woman starter pack.
-not meeting, lost mojo
- still posts photos because she just wants to feel a little bit attractive again, even though she knows it has no meaning or substance.
-posts on forums but isn't really cool anymore
-might take everyone by surprise and occasionally have sex or post something overtly filthy.
"
I'm not peri menopausal but I'll take the rest of it |
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By *eliWoman 3 days ago
. |
"I really wanna do one but I don't want to be a dick.
🤣🤣 same. I’ve a few good ones but I’m not gonna "
Ohhh! If I take the mick out of myself (and some friends) that'll work. Good way around it. You should do one Nora! |
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"The dusting off the couples pack
- only Mr available
- oh it's Mrs messaging, source trust me bro
- don't you want my hubby's body? It would be your honour?
- no Mrs definitely can't verify that Mrs exists
And in Local updates Mr is horny for cock
I've not seen that variant, but I don't doubt it"
See about two different ones on my updates, one says ‘Mrs here and I’m out but Mr wants to..’ 🤢
I wasn’t prepared for that when I changed the looking for to women and couples
|
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"I really wanna do one but I don't want to be a dick.
🤣🤣 same. I’ve a few good ones but I’m not gonna
^ The "bottle job" starter pack right here 😉"
I'm kidding, just do it! Puff your chest out and type it! 😈 |
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By *eliWoman 3 days ago
. |
The "Don't You Know I'm Poly" Starter Pack:
- mentions they're poly in their bio. At least once.
- scoffs at the idea of NSA because they're oh so different. Still does it but just quietly.
- mentions it in the forums every other post.
- lack of sexy sex photos because they're so deep and looking for real connections.
- millennial.
- neurospicy. |
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The middle-aged man.
- unbuttoned white shirt, exposing hairy chest.
- boot cut jeans unbuttoned.
- can't accommodate.
- semi erect cock pics.
- excellent oral skills
- belt wrapped around their fist.
- willing to meet 18 - 99 years.
- loves a social.
|
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"The "Don't You Know I'm Poly" Starter Pack:
- mentions they're poly in their bio. At least once.
- scoffs at the idea of NSA because they're oh so different. Still does it but just quietly.
- mentions it in the forums every other post.
- lack of sexy sex photos because they're so deep and looking for real connections.
- millennial.
- neurospicy. "
😂😂😂
Yes... Yesssss! 😈😆 |
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"The dusting off the couples pack
- only Mr available
- oh it's Mrs messaging, source trust me bro
- don't you want my hubby's body? It would be your honour?
- no Mrs definitely can't verify that Mrs exists
And in Local updates Mr is horny for cock
I've not seen that variant, but I don't doubt it
See about two different ones on my updates, one says ‘Mrs here and I’m out but Mr wants to..’ 🤢
I wasn’t prepared for that when I changed the looking for to women and couples
"
Fair! Confirmation bias for me, because I'm a woman I see the ones going after the women. |
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By *HUSH-Man 3 days ago
London |
The “You’re not a real swinger” starter pack.
Photos from 2015
Last verification from 2016
Bio says they’re a late 30’s couple (They’re now late 40’s)
Nostalgic about how FAB used to be
Triggered by singles profiles
Trawl the forums telling people they’re not “real swingers”
Threaten to leave every other week. |
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"Middle aged single woman
- hates men but still wants the adoration
- uses sarcasm to hide the fact they have zero personality
- mocks anyone that talks about sex
Moans that she never gets any sex
"
Ooh I can take that one too 💁 |
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By *LiamMan 3 days ago
Midlands |
"The middle-aged man.
- unbuttoned white shirt, exposing hairy chest.
- boot cut jeans unbuttoned.
- can't accommodate.
- semi erect cock pics.
- excellent oral skills
- belt wrapped around their fist.
- willing to meet 18 - 99 years.
- loves a social.
"
The belt one |
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The “I’m not bi” starter pack
- tell everyone you’re definitely not bi
- put it in your profile three times
- list yourself as straight
- only talk to blokes about getting your member sucked by a guy. |
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"The “I’m not bi” starter pack
- tell everyone you’re definitely not bi
- put it in your profile three times
- list yourself as straight
- only talk to blokes about getting your member sucked by a guy. "
|
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By *indergirlWoman 3 days ago
somewhere, someplace |
"The peri menopausal woman starter pack.
-not meeting, lost mojo
- still posts photos because she just wants to feel a little bit attractive again, even though she knows it has no meaning or substance.
-posts on forums but isn't really cool anymore
-might take everyone by surprise and occasionally have sex or post something overtly filthy.
"
Oh my I feel seen 🫣😭🤣 |
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"The cap d’age couple
- photos that look like crowds at Black Friday
- little smiley faces all over peoples faces
- way too much sun tan (Mrs)
- way too many kebabs (Mr)
"
All the 😈😈😈😈😈 emojis over peoples’ faces on ohotos 😂😂😂😂 |
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The ‘desperate deluded single guy’ template -
- states ‘athletic’ but from the pictures it looks like he’s never done any form of physical activity in his life
- see’s a ‘couples only thread’ but can’t resist giving his two cents worth regardless
- tells all the women how wonderful they are and how we wishes they lived closer |
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"The peri menopausal woman starter pack.
-not meeting, lost mojo
- still posts photos because she just wants to feel a little bit attractive again, even though she knows it has no meaning or substance.
-posts on forums but isn't really cool anymore
-might take everyone by surprise and occasionally have sex or post something overtly filthy.
"
I am seen |
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By *enk15Man 3 days ago
Evesham |
The Fantasist starter pack.
1. State that you are genuine
2. Send out messages and have a wank over profiles
3. Someone messages back. Panic!! But respond in sexual way stating what you will do to them.
4. They want to meet!! Shit gets too real, block them and hide profile.
5. Rinse and repeat |
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By *HUSH-Man 3 days ago
London |
The contradiction starter pack
Looking for single women only
Open to meeting couples
Here for good time, not a long time
Been on the scene for 10 years
Won’t meet smokers
420 friendly 💨
Not looking for one night stands
Loves a naughty spontaneous meet. |
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Single mum starter pack
*Can't accom
*"drop of a hat"
*"commitments"
*club trip planned in three months time
*"if you don't like curves, jog on"
*"who's free now???"
*comments on tidy living room, drinks two thirds of a bottle of merlot
*sleeps for three hours after sex
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By *.T.Man 3 days ago
Belfast |
Alpha Starter pack -
Calls himself an Alpha.
Read a synopsis of 50 Shades and thinks he's an expert on what women actually wants.
Gets butthurt surprisingly easy for someone who is supposed to be a natural leader.
Very fragile ego.
Mistakes arrogance for confidence.
|
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"The couple
- "been here a while, we know how it works"
- 300 photos of the lady and a cock pic hidden in the mix
- picture infront of the Liberty Elite sign.
- a lingerie shot next to the lockers.
- "single gents, we'll find you"
- a picture of 6 women's arses lined up.
- gold membership "
😅😅😅😅😅 All true 🤣 |
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"The "Don't You Know I'm Poly" Starter Pack:
- mentions they're poly in their bio. At least once.
- scoffs at the idea of NSA because they're oh so different. Still does it but just quietly.
- mentions it in the forums every other post.
- lack of sexy sex photos because they're so deep and looking for real connections.
- millennial.
- neurospicy. "
Can't breathe from laughing too much. Haha. Too accurate. Love it (although my lack of sexy sex photos is for a different reason!) |
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"The judge
Knows how this works
Have been here before
Knows how to spot a fake a mile off
Can't accommodate but anyone who can't accommodate is a cheating fuck
🤣"
Sad people.actually yhink this too. 😞 |
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The Baying Mob
Turns rabid at the scent of a single male.
Particularly triggered by questions that may have been asked before or may not be worded correctly.
Can rip a post to shreds with surgical precision
The males are known to be very subservient to females and their mating display has been known to induce nausea due to the high level of obsequiou_ness. |
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The gym monkey
Tell you go to the gym
Today is legs day
What shall I do before I go to the gym
What shall I do after I go to the gym
What shall I do while I'm at the gym
Do you go to the gym?
I go to the gym
What supplements shall I take to go to the gym
Put some pics up of me at the gym
Does anybody else ache after going to the gym?
I just broke my bench 1rm at the gym
|
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"The "Don't You Know I'm Poly" Starter Pack:
- mentions they're poly in their bio. At least once.
- scoffs at the idea of NSA because they're oh so different. Still does it but just quietly.
- mentions it in the forums every other post.
- lack of sexy sex photos because they're so deep and looking for real connections.
- millennial.
- neurospicy. "
I’m ok cos I’m not a millennial 😁 |
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By *eliWoman 2 days ago
. |
"The "Don't You Know I'm Poly" Starter Pack:
- mentions they're poly in their bio. At least once.
- scoffs at the idea of NSA because they're oh so different. Still does it but just quietly.
- mentions it in the forums every other post.
- lack of sexy sex photos because they're so deep and looking for real connections.
- millennial.
- neurospicy.
I’m ok cos I’m not a millennial 😁"
Yeah, only the millennial poly types are insufferable. |
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The High Horse Jockeys 🏇 starter pack:
-No action or extreme closeup photos (apart from boobs in a bra)- all “classy” and B&W of course
- “Don’t want to see what you had for breakfast”
- Would never, EVER “meet now” and people who do are desperate in their eyes
-“Everyone is cheap and slutty but me/us” badge of honour 🥇
- Protective, invisible field against married men/women playing away 🧙
|
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By *HUSH-Man 2 days ago
London |
The “Golden generation”
Introduced to swinging on holiday in Scarborough in the summer of 1979.
Completely unfazed by anything sexual and prefer a cup of tea and a slice of cake before their meet instead of alcohol.
Afternoon meets are best as they’re looking after the grandchildren and promised to read them Goldilocks and the three bears.
Sign their DM’s with sincerely and a kiss.
Sex playlist includes tracks from Katie Melua and Savage Garden.
Adored by everyone on FAB
|
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The ticking time bomb
- starts off with one blurry selfie
- joins the forums
- downloads a photo editing app
- revamps profile
- uploads multiple B&W pictures with new selfie stand
- posts a thread about "sites full of time wasters"
- UNLOS |
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"The ticking time bomb
- starts off with one blurry selfie
- joins the forums
- downloads a photo editing app
- revamps profile
- uploads multiple B&W pictures with new selfie stand
- posts a thread about "sites full of time wasters"
- UNLOS"
Those last two are gonna happen any minute for me... |
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The "Greedy Girl attender" starter pack:
- Usually middle aged
- No verifications from one to one meets
- Generic verifications that could've been written for anyone
- Happy to chat about cars while wanking himself off |
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"The ticking time bomb
- starts off with one blurry selfie
- joins the forums
- downloads a photo editing app
- revamps profile
- uploads multiple B&W pictures with new selfie stand
- posts a thread about "sites full of time wasters"
- UNLOS
Those last two are gonna happen any minute for me..."
|
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The "personality means a lot to me" starter pack:
- Must be at least 6' tall
- Must be VWE
- Must be a bearded Viking type
- Tattooed men to the front of the queue
- White/Black men only. It's just my preference |
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By *HUSH-Man 2 days ago
London |
"The "personality means a lot to me" starter pack:
- Must be at least 6' tall
- Must be VWE
- Must be a bearded Viking type
- Tattooed men to the front of the queue
- White/Black men only. It's just my preference"
Shots fired 😂 |
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"New Single man member starter
- ugly cock pick as profile so red looks like someone been Chinese burning it the last hour
- message every single female exact same message
- moan on forum when get no replies, call everyone a cunt and leave
"
This tickled me  |
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"The "Does My Wife Know I'm Here" starter pack:
- "Will fill in later?"
- Looks for discrete fun. In discrete places, like behind a bush or the bins at Aldi
- Has two images. One is a close up of a penis over an (unflushed) loo. The feet visible are clad in white (Sports Direct finest).
- The second image is a blank, black avatar
- Is obviously one of the good ones. But can't work out why no-one is replying. Like really - why aren't all the stuck up [redacteds] replying?
- WhY dOn'T tHeY wAnT mY pEnIs?! "
🤣🤣🤣 |
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The “Intimidating MF couple” starter pack:
• we know what we are looking for and are not shy
• been here before so we know the score
• PLEASE DONT SEND ME ANY FRIENDS REQUESTS IF WE HAVE NEVER MET YOU BEFORE...
NO FRIENDS REQUESTS
NO FRIENDS REQUESTS
• you will be talking to the Mr only
• SINGLE GUYS WE WILL FIND YOU |
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By *.T.Man 2 days ago
Belfast |
The Professionals starter pack:
Can't share photo's due to work.
Has a boss called Cowley.
Works for CI5.
Can't meet often due to work commitments.
Seeks other professionals without declaring what professions are deemed professional. |
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"The High Horse Jockeys 🏇 starter pack:
-No action or extreme closeup photos (apart from boobs in a bra)- all “classy” and B&W of course
- “Don’t want to see what you had for breakfast”
- Would never, EVER “meet now” and people who do are desperate in their eyes
-“Everyone is cheap and slutty but me/us” badge of honour 🥇
- Protective, invisible field against married men/women playing away 🧙
"
I feel seen! 😂 |
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» Add a new message to this topic
Or I'll do it because I'm due being a dick here I think. 🤔 
"
