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Fab Starter Packs

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By (user no longer on site) OP    4 weeks ago

We've all the meme template. What are some Fab Starter packs? For example:

The "Bi-female Couple" Starter Pack:

- "Looking for that elusive unicorn"

- It's always been the wife's fantasy...

- "Mr will only watch but may join in"

- Always wonder why more women won't join them

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By *929Man 4 weeks ago

newcastle

New Single man member starter

- ugly cock pick as profile so red looks like someone been Chinese burning it the last hour

- message every single female exact same message

- moan on forum when get no replies, call everyone a cunt and leave

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By *aven.Woman 4 weeks ago

Not the North West...

"not meeting single female"

- *****NOT MEETING******

- PLEASE READ not meeting

- leaves filters open

- posts explicit pics/videos

Complains about men messaging

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By *otCouple3737Couple 4 weeks ago

York/Hull


"New Single man member starter

- ugly cock pick as profile so red looks like someone been Chinese burning it the last hour

- message every single female exact same message

- moan on forum when get no replies, call everyone a cunt and leave

"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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By *inky_couple2020Couple 4 weeks ago

North West

The "Does My Wife Know I'm Here" starter pack:

- "Will fill in later?"

- Looks for discrete fun. In discrete places, like behind a bush or the bins at Aldi

- Has two images. One is a close up of a penis over an (unflushed) loo. The feet visible are clad in white (Sports Direct finest).

- The second image is a blank, black avatar

- Is obviously one of the good ones. But can't work out why no-one is replying. Like really - why aren't all the stuck up [redacteds] replying?

- WhY dOn'T tHeY wAnT mY pEnIs?!

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By (user no longer on site) OP    4 weeks ago

The forum constant:

- Not really meeting at the minute

- Posted on every thread on the first pages and answered all the replies

- References threads created two weeks ago

- "When did the forum become less fun?" ...continues posting

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By *olden RatioWoman 4 weeks ago

Buckinghamshire

"Stating The Obvious guy"

Fills in their profile paragraph with age, height, interests etc. information that's already been covered in the tick boxes.

Will fill in more later...

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By *LiamMan 4 weeks ago

Midlands


""Stating The Obvious guy"

Fills in their profile paragraph with age, height, interests etc. information that's already been covered in the tick boxes.

Will fill in more later...

"

I take this personally

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By *bi HaiveMan 4 weeks ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

The 'wanderer returns'

-been here before

-if you remember me from last time please verify me

-all those play pics are of the ex and yes they know

-cant accomodate

-interests always include anal and watersports

-I didn't have this hard a job getting meets before

-cut or uncut?

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By (user no longer on site) OP    4 weeks ago

The "single guy in a club" starter pack:

- Stands to one corner hoping people approach him

- Wanders around occasionally seeing the same things that were there two minutes ago

- Gets barely two words out of anyone when trying to start a conversation

- Leaves thinking clubs are shit

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By *arla SwingerWoman 4 weeks ago

Somewhere

'The Faker'

Blatantly rips off someone else's bio

Uses pics ripped off porn sites

Only genuine pics they may put up of themselves look like Polaroids from the 80s

Age doesn't match on bio and profile

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By *zeroMan 4 weeks ago

Glasgow

Hot pic obsessive -

Graphic photo

Fab if you'd fuck

Accepting friend requests

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By *illy IdolMan 4 weeks ago

Midlands

The seasoned forumite

- loves cake

- can't function without coffee

- sarcastic to any newbies questions

- "this sounds like fun, I'm in"

- quirky profile caption

- jokes about platinum membership

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By (user no longer on site) OP    4 weeks ago


"The seasoned forumite

- loves cake

- can't function without coffee

- sarcastic to any newbies questions

- "this sounds like fun, I'm in"

- quirky profile caption

- jokes about platinum membership "

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman 4 weeks ago

North West


"The seasoned forumite

- loves cake

- can't function without coffee

- sarcastic to any newbies questions

- "this sounds like fun, I'm in"

- quirky profile caption

- jokes about platinum membership "

Sounds fun, I'm in. 🤩😆

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By *ittlebirdWoman 4 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

The clique starter pack…

[redacted] 🥷

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By *aizyWoman 4 weeks ago

west midlands


"The seasoned forumite

- loves cake

- can't function without coffee

- sarcastic to any newbies questions

- "this sounds like fun, I'm in"

- quirky profile caption

- jokes about platinum membership "

✔️

✔️

🤔

✔️

✔️

Platinum membership is no joke.

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By *ittlebirdWoman 4 weeks ago

The Big Smoke


"Platinum membership is no joke."

Thread killer 🤣

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By *cotlad178Man 4 weeks ago

falkirk


"The "single guy in a club" starter pack:

- Stands to one corner hoping people approach him

- Wanders around occasionally seeing the same things that were there two minutes ago

- Gets barely two words out of anyone when trying to start a conversation

- Leaves thinking clubs are shit"

if I do eventually get to a club this ones a legit fear.

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By *.T.Man 4 weeks ago

Glasgow

The White Knight Starter Pack:

Trawls forums for maidens to save.

Will post an extensive guide on where other men are going wrong.

Will defend the honour of all fair maidens in the hope of getting his dick wetter than Dr Foster on a trip to Gloucester.

Refers to himself and fellow Knights as "us decent guys"

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By *naswingdressWoman 4 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

The dusting off the couples pack

- only Mr available

- oh it's Mrs messaging, source trust me bro

- don't you want my hubby's body? It would be your honour?

- no Mrs definitely can't verify that Mrs exists

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By *agnar73Man 4 weeks ago

glasgow-ish


"The dusting off the couples pack

- only Mr available

- oh it's Mrs messaging, source trust me bro

- don't you want my hubby's body? It would be your honour?

- no Mrs definitely can't verify that Mrs exists"

And in Local updates Mr is horny for cock

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By *naswingdressWoman 4 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)


"The dusting off the couples pack

- only Mr available

- oh it's Mrs messaging, source trust me bro

- don't you want my hubby's body? It would be your honour?

- no Mrs definitely can't verify that Mrs exists

And in Local updates Mr is horny for cock "

I've not seen that variant, but I don't doubt it

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By *arla SwingerWoman 4 weeks ago

Somewhere

The genuine starter pack

New to this world, cpl of pics (not sure)

Limited bio as again not sure

Toe dipping but really shy

Gets fucked off 100% of the time, or overwhelmed within 2 days

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple 4 weeks ago

Leeds

Dick pic. ( bonus points if it is taken over works toilet )

Fill in later.

Message everything with a pulse in a 7,000 mile radius.

Complain that the fact I’m a complete useless fucking idiot is everyone else’s fault.

The mr

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By *hatsWhatCoupleCouple 4 weeks ago

Northampton

The legal expert

1. Sydney university statement

2. A few sections of law from outside the UK

3. Threat to take action if anyone looks at their pics

4. Zero verifications

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By *ildo_swagginsthe3rdWoman 4 weeks ago

Wales


"The genuine starter pack

New to this world, cpl of pics (not sure)

Limited bio as again not sure

Toe dipping but really shy

Gets fucked off 100% of the time, or overwhelmed within 2 days "

This is actual me.

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By *iss.Bella.Woman 4 weeks ago

Wales

The local harlot

*Has over 30 verifications which confirm that she does suck like a Dyson. All of which were taken from individuals private meets.

*Has a partner that does not know she's on fab. But still fucks everything within a 10 mile radius

*Has a piercing on her top lip.

*Constant "who can accommodate me now?" updates.

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By *NormalMan01Man 4 weeks ago

Harrogate


"New Single man member starter

- ugly cock pick as profile so red looks like someone been Chinese burning it the last hour

- message every single female exact same message

- moan on forum when get no replies, call everyone a cunt and leave

"

😂😂😂😂

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By *NormalMan01Man 4 weeks ago

Harrogate


"The seasoned forumite

- loves cake

- can't function without coffee

- sarcastic to any newbies questions

- "this sounds like fun, I'm in"

- quirky profile caption

- jokes about platinum membership "

This sounds fun, I’m in.

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By *iFunMale_southMan 4 weeks ago

Reading

The exasperated female/couple:

Well done if you got this far.

Write "pineapple" in your message to prove you've read all of our profile.

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By *alcon77Man 4 weeks ago

under the sun & the moon

The forum clown / cheeky b*stard

-Lots of them.

In fact I think ive evolved into one too.

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By *iss.Bella.Woman 4 weeks ago

Wales

The fab straight

*States ladies only at least 3 times in his profile.

*Multiple cum on tits photos

*Bj vid from a lady.

*Has 3 webcam veris from other men applauding him on his nice hard dick and his no limits dirty talk.

*Bonus points for the blow and go veri in the Aldi car park.

*Posts in the forum asking for a phonecall right now.

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By *ir Toot of the frostMan 4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent


"The fab straight

*States ladies only at least 3 times in his profile.

*Multiple cum on tits photos

*Bj vid from a lady.

*Has 3 webcam veris from other men applauding him on his nice hard dick and his no limits dirty talk.

*Bonus points for the blow and go veri in the Aldi car park.

*Posts in the forum asking for a phonecall right now."

aldi car park 🤣

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By *naswingdressWoman 4 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)


"The legal expert

1. Sydney university statement

2. A few sections of law from outside the UK

3. Threat to take action if anyone looks at their pics

4. Zero verifications "

I've got the knock off version of this one

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By *ir Toot of the frostMan 4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent


"The legal expert

1. Sydney university statement

2. A few sections of law from outside the UK

3. Threat to take action if anyone looks at their pics

4. Zero verifications

I've got the knock off version of this one "

It's a pretty good read.

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By (user no longer on site) 4 weeks ago


"The forum clown / cheeky b*stard

-Lots of them.

In fact I think ive evolved into one too."

I wear this badge with pride

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By *electableicecreamMan 4 weeks ago

The West

The forum pedant

- It's you're not your!

- Starts thread about spelling mistakes that also contains spelling mistakes.

-Demands you define the key word in every discussion.

-Starts every reply with 'research has shown'.

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By *nesCouple 4 weeks ago

Milton Keynes, city of dreams


"The forum pedant

- It's you're not your!

- Starts thread about spelling mistakes that also contains spelling mistakes.

-Demands you define the key word in every discussion.

-Starts every reply with 'research has shown'."

It’s actually your, not you’re.

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By *imply DeeWoman 4 weeks ago

Wherever

The “self proclaimed dom” starter pack:

• mid 30s - mid 40s

• fairly good body shape

• a few intimidating photos holding his belt ready to use

• “looking for sluts” somewhere in his very short bio

• gets verbally abusive pretty quickly when confronted or, god forbid - rejected.

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By *iss.Bella.Woman 4 weeks ago

Wales


"The “self proclaimed dom” starter pack:

• mid 30s - mid 40s

• fairly good body shape

• a few intimidating photos holding his belt ready to use

• “looking for sluts” somewhere in his very short bio

• gets verbally abusive pretty quickly when confronted or, god forbid - rejected.

"

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By *rHotNottsMan 4 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Millennial swingers starter pack

- must have mental health

- Add some labels for things , just make them all up no one cares

- whine about how crap you are

Just kidding

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By *sWyldWoman 4 weeks ago

Edinburgh

The peri menopausal woman starter pack.

-not meeting, lost mojo

- still posts photos because she just wants to feel a little bit attractive again, even though she knows it has no meaning or substance.

-posts on forums but isn't really cool anymore

-might take everyone by surprise and occasionally have sex or post something overtly filthy.

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By *imply DeeWoman 4 weeks ago

Wherever


"The peri menopausal woman starter pack.

-not meeting, lost mojo

- still posts photos because she just wants to feel a little bit attractive again, even though she knows it has no meaning or substance.

-posts on forums but isn't really cool anymore

-might take everyone by surprise and occasionally have sex or post something overtly filthy.

"

This is actually me

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By *enk15Man 4 weeks ago

Evesham

The "Cock-Block thyself" Starter pack:

- Write a profile stating only that you are genuine, educated and want a shag.

- Send out messages en masse with extreme close up of cock.

- After an hour, send follow up messages asking why they haven't shagged you yet.

- Put up passive aggressive status blaming the women of Fab for lack of success

- Start thread asking where it all went wrong.

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By *illy IdolMan 4 weeks ago

Midlands

The couple

- "been here a while, we know how it works"

- 300 photos of the lady and a cock pic hidden in the mix

- picture infront of the Liberty Elite sign.

- a lingerie shot next to the lockers.

- "single gents, we'll find you"

- a picture of 6 women's arses lined up.

- gold membership

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By *oralltherightreasonsCouple 4 weeks ago

WELLINGBOROUGH

It's all funny because it's true

Even found ourselves

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By *viatrixWoman 4 weeks ago

Redhill


"The couple

- "been here a while, we know how it works"

- 300 photos of the lady and a cock pic hidden in the mix

- picture infront of the Liberty Elite sign.

- a lingerie shot next to the lockers.

- "single gents, we'll find you"

- a picture of 6 women's arses lined up.

- gold membership "

😅😅😅😅

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By *sWyldWoman 4 weeks ago

Edinburgh


"The peri menopausal woman starter pack.

-not meeting, lost mojo

- still posts photos because she just wants to feel a little bit attractive again, even though she knows it has no meaning or substance.

-posts on forums but isn't really cool anymore

-might take everyone by surprise and occasionally have sex or post something overtly filthy.

This is actually me "

Me too!!

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By *osey WalesMan 4 weeks ago

Surrey

Thread killer starter pack.

Me 👆

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By *ymClassDropoutMan 4 weeks ago

Berkshire

Surprised no one had cited the

‘I am clearly better than you’ starter pack.

The site is often saturated with it.

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By *viatrixWoman 4 weeks ago

Redhill


"The peri menopausal woman starter pack.

-not meeting, lost mojo

- still posts photos because she just wants to feel a little bit attractive again, even though she knows it has no meaning or substance.

-posts on forums but isn't really cool anymore

-might take everyone by surprise and occasionally have sex or post something overtly filthy.

This is actually me

Me too!! "

I feel seen 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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By (user no longer on site) OP    4 weeks ago

The "Funny Forum User" starter pack

- Reminds everyone how sarcastic they are

- Tries to be funnier by adding a comedic reply to an already funny post

- Uses phrases like "rusty Sheriff's badge" and "Gaping fanny" for comedic effect

- Reminds everyone how sarcastic they are.

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By *electableicecreamMan 4 weeks ago

The West

Forum troll starter pack

-Start thread on inflammatory or divisive issue

-Immediately become wildly defensive

-Feel attacked

-Tell everyone they must be horrible people to be so mean

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By *ora the explorerWoman 4 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

These are funny 🤣🤣

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By *ora the explorerWoman 4 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts


"Surprised no one had cited the

‘I am clearly better than you’ starter pack.

The site is often saturated with it. "

I definitely thought there’d be a white knight starter pack!

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By *ir Toot of the frostMan 4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent


"Surprised no one had cited the

‘I am clearly better than you’ starter pack.

The site is often saturated with it.

I definitely thought there’d be a white knight starter pack! "

There is go up a few.

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By *ora the explorerWoman 4 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts


"Surprised no one had cited the

‘I am clearly better than you’ starter pack.

The site is often saturated with it.

I definitely thought there’d be a white knight starter pack!

There is go up a few. "

Ah yeah! Missed it haha 🤦‍♀️

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By *ir Toot of the frostMan 4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent


"Surprised no one had cited the

‘I am clearly better than you’ starter pack.

The site is often saturated with it.

I definitely thought there’d be a white knight starter pack!

There is go up a few.

Ah yeah! Missed it haha 🤦‍♀️"

i get it I need my glasses back 🤣

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By *eliWoman 4 weeks ago

.

I really wanna do one but I don't want to be a dick.

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By *ir Toot of the frostMan 4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent


"I really wanna do one but I don't want to be a dick. "

Do it.

Or I'll do it because I'm due being a dick here I think. 🤔

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By *ora the explorerWoman 4 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts


"I really wanna do one but I don't want to be a dick. "

🤣🤣 same. I’ve a few good ones but I’m not gonna

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By *iss.Bella.Woman 4 weeks ago

Wales


"The peri menopausal woman starter pack.

-not meeting, lost mojo

- still posts photos because she just wants to feel a little bit attractive again, even though she knows it has no meaning or substance.

-posts on forums but isn't really cool anymore

-might take everyone by surprise and occasionally have sex or post something overtly filthy.

"

I'm not peri menopausal but I'll take the rest of it

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By *eliWoman 4 weeks ago

.


"I really wanna do one but I don't want to be a dick.

🤣🤣 same. I’ve a few good ones but I’m not gonna "

Ohhh! If I take the mick out of myself (and some friends) that'll work. Good way around it. You should do one Nora!

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By *aven.Woman 4 weeks ago

Not the North West...

Middle aged single woman

- hates men but still wants the adoration

- uses sarcasm to hide the fact they have zero personality

- mocks anyone that talks about sex

Moans that she never gets any sex

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By (user no longer on site) OP    4 weeks ago


"I really wanna do one but I don't want to be a dick.

🤣🤣 same. I’ve a few good ones but I’m not gonna "

^ The "bottle job" starter pack right here 😉

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By *agnar73Man 4 weeks ago

glasgow-ish


"The dusting off the couples pack

- only Mr available

- oh it's Mrs messaging, source trust me bro

- don't you want my hubby's body? It would be your honour?

- no Mrs definitely can't verify that Mrs exists

And in Local updates Mr is horny for cock

I've not seen that variant, but I don't doubt it"

See about two different ones on my updates, one says ‘Mrs here and I’m out but Mr wants to..’ 🤢

I wasn’t prepared for that when I changed the looking for to women and couples

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By (user no longer on site) OP    4 weeks ago


"I really wanna do one but I don't want to be a dick.

🤣🤣 same. I’ve a few good ones but I’m not gonna

^ The "bottle job" starter pack right here 😉"

I'm kidding, just do it! Puff your chest out and type it! 😈

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By *HUSH-Man 4 weeks ago

London

The mystery sex god.

No Photos

No Bio

50 verifications all less than a year old.

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By *eliWoman 4 weeks ago

.

The "Don't You Know I'm Poly" Starter Pack:

- mentions they're poly in their bio. At least once.

- scoffs at the idea of NSA because they're oh so different. Still does it but just quietly.

- mentions it in the forums every other post.

- lack of sexy sex photos because they're so deep and looking for real connections.

- millennial.

- neurospicy.

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By *illy IdolMan 4 weeks ago

Midlands

The middle-aged man.

- unbuttoned white shirt, exposing hairy chest.

- boot cut jeans unbuttoned.

- can't accommodate.

- semi erect cock pics.

- excellent oral skills

- belt wrapped around their fist.

- willing to meet 18 - 99 years.

- loves a social.

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By (user no longer on site) OP    4 weeks ago


"The "Don't You Know I'm Poly" Starter Pack:

- mentions they're poly in their bio. At least once.

- scoffs at the idea of NSA because they're oh so different. Still does it but just quietly.

- mentions it in the forums every other post.

- lack of sexy sex photos because they're so deep and looking for real connections.

- millennial.

- neurospicy. "

😂😂😂

Yes... Yesssss! 😈😆

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By *naswingdressWoman 4 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)


"The dusting off the couples pack

- only Mr available

- oh it's Mrs messaging, source trust me bro

- don't you want my hubby's body? It would be your honour?

- no Mrs definitely can't verify that Mrs exists

And in Local updates Mr is horny for cock

I've not seen that variant, but I don't doubt it

See about two different ones on my updates, one says ‘Mrs here and I’m out but Mr wants to..’ 🤢

I wasn’t prepared for that when I changed the looking for to women and couples

"

Fair! Confirmation bias for me, because I'm a woman I see the ones going after the women.

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By *HUSH-Man 4 weeks ago

London

The “You’re not a real swinger” starter pack.

Photos from 2015

Last verification from 2016

Bio says they’re a late 30’s couple (They’re now late 40’s)

Nostalgic about how FAB used to be

Triggered by singles profiles

Trawl the forums telling people they’re not “real swingers”

Threaten to leave every other week.

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By *oodmessMan 4 weeks ago

yumsville

ummm

*Broken cunt

*best bj in the world

*treat with respect

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By *iss.Bella.Woman 4 weeks ago

Wales

[Removed by poster at 29/10/24 11:40:53]

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By *iss.Bella.Woman 4 weeks ago

Wales


"Middle aged single woman

- hates men but still wants the adoration

- uses sarcasm to hide the fact they have zero personality

- mocks anyone that talks about sex

Moans that she never gets any sex

"

Ooh I can take that one too 💁

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By *LiamMan 4 weeks ago

Midlands


"The middle-aged man.

- unbuttoned white shirt, exposing hairy chest.

- boot cut jeans unbuttoned.

- can't accommodate.

- semi erect cock pics.

- excellent oral skills

- belt wrapped around their fist.

- willing to meet 18 - 99 years.

- loves a social.

"

The belt one

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By *NormalMan01Man 4 weeks ago

Harrogate

The “I’m not bi” starter pack

- tell everyone you’re definitely not bi

- put it in your profile three times

- list yourself as straight

- only talk to blokes about getting your member sucked by a guy.

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By *rHotNottsMan 4 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

The cap d’age couple

- photos that look like crowds at Black Friday

- little smiley faces all over peoples faces

- way too much sun tan (Mrs)

- way too many kebabs (Mr)

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By (user no longer on site) 4 weeks ago


"The “I’m not bi” starter pack

- tell everyone you’re definitely not bi

- put it in your profile three times

- list yourself as straight

- only talk to blokes about getting your member sucked by a guy. "

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By *electableicecreamMan 4 weeks ago

The West

The VWE starter pack

-Starts a thread asking if hung is better

-Starts a thread asking if hung is better

-Starts a thread asking if hung is better

-Starts a thread asking if hung is better

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By *apt Jack SparrowMan 4 weeks ago

Birmingham

😂😂 this thread is killing me

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By *apt Jack SparrowMan 4 weeks ago

Birmingham

😂🤣

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By *indergirlWoman 4 weeks ago

somewhere, someplace


"The peri menopausal woman starter pack.

-not meeting, lost mojo

- still posts photos because she just wants to feel a little bit attractive again, even though she knows it has no meaning or substance.

-posts on forums but isn't really cool anymore

-might take everyone by surprise and occasionally have sex or post something overtly filthy.

"

Oh my I feel seen 🫣😭🤣

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By *viatrixWoman 4 weeks ago

Redhill

I am laughing so much with this thread 😂😂😂 love it!

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By *viatrixWoman 4 weeks ago

Redhill


"The cap d’age couple

- photos that look like crowds at Black Friday

- little smiley faces all over peoples faces

- way too much sun tan (Mrs)

- way too many kebabs (Mr)

"

All the 😈😈😈😈😈 emojis over peoples’ faces on ohotos 😂😂😂😂

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By *ir Toot of the frostMan 4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

[Removed by poster at 29/10/24 11:59:32]

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By *ir Toot of the frostMan 4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

[Removed by poster at 29/10/24 11:59:29]

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By *ir Toot of the frostMan 4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

[Removed by poster at 29/10/24 11:59:26]

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By *oxychicWoman 4 weeks ago

Nottinghamshire

Haha love this great read🤣

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By *ymClassDropoutMan 4 weeks ago

Berkshire

The ‘desperate deluded single guy’ template -

- states ‘athletic’ but from the pictures it looks like he’s never done any form of physical activity in his life

- see’s a ‘couples only thread’ but can’t resist giving his two cents worth regardless

- tells all the women how wonderful they are and how we wishes they lived closer

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By *inky_couple2020Couple 4 weeks ago

North West


"The peri menopausal woman starter pack.

-not meeting, lost mojo

- still posts photos because she just wants to feel a little bit attractive again, even though she knows it has no meaning or substance.

-posts on forums but isn't really cool anymore

-might take everyone by surprise and occasionally have sex or post something overtly filthy.

"

I am seen

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By *enk15Man 4 weeks ago

Evesham

The Fantasist starter pack.

1. State that you are genuine

2. Send out messages and have a wank over profiles

3. Someone messages back. Panic!! But respond in sexual way stating what you will do to them.

4. They want to meet!! Shit gets too real, block them and hide profile.

5. Rinse and repeat

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By *HUSH-Man 4 weeks ago

London

The contradiction starter pack

Looking for single women only

Open to meeting couples

Here for good time, not a long time

Been on the scene for 10 years

Won’t meet smokers

420 friendly 💨

Not looking for one night stands

Loves a naughty spontaneous meet.

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By *ellicateMan 4 weeks ago

Forfar

Excellent Thread!

Thanks OP.

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By *ackdaw52Man 4 weeks ago

Chesterfield

Single mum starter pack

*Can't accom

*"drop of a hat"

*"commitments"

*club trip planned in three months time

*"if you don't like curves, jog on"

*"who's free now???"

*comments on tidy living room, drinks two thirds of a bottle of merlot

*sleeps for three hours after sex

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By *rHotNottsMan 4 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

But any holes a goal starter pack

- 18-99 age pref

- replies ‘both’ to every thread

- sends ‘hugs’ to all the needy women

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By *NormalMan01Man 4 weeks ago

Harrogate

The I want to be liked start pack:

- comments under every “person above” thread

- shamelessly posts needy threads

- gives all the chat

- never ever meets

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By *yzykMan 4 weeks ago

Stirlingshire

The 'Rodeo Riding for Beginners' starter pack - sadly discontinued due to lack of demand

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By *.T.Man 4 weeks ago

Glasgow

Alpha Starter pack -

Calls himself an Alpha.

Read a synopsis of 50 Shades and thinks he's an expert on what women actually wants.

Gets butthurt surprisingly easy for someone who is supposed to be a natural leader.

Very fragile ego.

Mistakes arrogance for confidence.

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By *ildTimes777Man 4 weeks ago

Colchester/London


"The cap d’age couple

- photos that look like crowds at Black Friday

- little smiley faces all over peoples faces

- way too much sun tan (Mrs)

- way too many kebabs (Mr)

"

Lol

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By *ildTimes777Man 4 weeks ago

Colchester/London


"The couple

- "been here a while, we know how it works"

- 300 photos of the lady and a cock pic hidden in the mix

- picture infront of the Liberty Elite sign.

- a lingerie shot next to the lockers.

- "single gents, we'll find you"

- a picture of 6 women's arses lined up.

- gold membership "

😅😅😅😅😅 All true 🤣

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By *zeroMan 4 weeks ago

Glasgow

The Imposter

Pics are all of an onlyfans model

Interested in absolutely everything

18-99

Profile simply says "."

Lasts a grand total of 2 hours on the site.

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By *ackformore100Man 4 weeks ago

Tin town

The money grabber

Like to be spoiled

Like the finer things in life

Like using upmarket and professional

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By *ackformore100Man 4 weeks ago

Tin town

The judge

Knows how this works

Have been here before

Knows how to spot a fake a mile off

Can't accommodate but anyone who can't accommodate is a cheating fuck

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By *onderWomanWlvWoman 4 weeks ago

Wolverhampton


"The "Don't You Know I'm Poly" Starter Pack:

- mentions they're poly in their bio. At least once.

- scoffs at the idea of NSA because they're oh so different. Still does it but just quietly.

- mentions it in the forums every other post.

- lack of sexy sex photos because they're so deep and looking for real connections.

- millennial.

- neurospicy. "

Can't breathe from laughing too much. Haha. Too accurate. Love it (although my lack of sexy sex photos is for a different reason!)

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By *usyBusyGirlWoman 4 weeks ago

Brum


"The judge

Knows how this works

Have been here before

Knows how to spot a fake a mile off

Can't accommodate but anyone who can't accommodate is a cheating fuck

"

Ooh haha

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By *ora the explorerWoman 4 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts


"The judge

Knows how this works

Have been here before

Knows how to spot a fake a mile off

Can't accommodate but anyone who can't accommodate is a cheating fuck

"

🤣

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By *ir Toot of the frostMan 4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent


"The judge

Knows how this works

Have been here before

Knows how to spot a fake a mile off

Can't accommodate but anyone who can't accommodate is a cheating fuck

🤣"

Sad people.actually yhink this too. 😞

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By *electableicecreamMan 4 weeks ago

The West

The Baying Mob

Turns rabid at the scent of a single male.

Particularly triggered by questions that may have been asked before or may not be worded correctly.

Can rip a post to shreds with surgical precision

The males are known to be very subservient to females and their mating display has been known to induce nausea due to the high level of obsequiou_ness.

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By *ackformore100Man 4 weeks ago

Tin town

The gym monkey

Tell you go to the gym

Today is legs day

What shall I do before I go to the gym

What shall I do after I go to the gym

What shall I do while I'm at the gym

Do you go to the gym?

I go to the gym

What supplements shall I take to go to the gym

Put some pics up of me at the gym

Does anybody else ache after going to the gym?

I just broke my bench 1rm at the gym

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By *ea monkeyMan 4 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)


"The "Don't You Know I'm Poly" Starter Pack:

- mentions they're poly in their bio. At least once.

- scoffs at the idea of NSA because they're oh so different. Still does it but just quietly.

- mentions it in the forums every other post.

- lack of sexy sex photos because they're so deep and looking for real connections.

- millennial.

- neurospicy. "

I’m ok cos I’m not a millennial 😁

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By *HUSH-Man 4 weeks ago

London

This thread has really delivered 😂 😂 😂

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By (user no longer on site) OP    4 weeks ago

The OF creator Starter Pack:

- Professionally taken photos

- "Fab if you would..."

- Only have veris from other content creators who fit into this pack

- "I'm "XYZ" on other sites"

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By *eliWoman 4 weeks ago

.


"The "Don't You Know I'm Poly" Starter Pack:

- mentions they're poly in their bio. At least once.

- scoffs at the idea of NSA because they're oh so different. Still does it but just quietly.

- mentions it in the forums every other post.

- lack of sexy sex photos because they're so deep and looking for real connections.

- millennial.

- neurospicy.

I’m ok cos I’m not a millennial 😁"

Yeah, only the millennial poly types are insufferable.

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By *viatrixWoman 4 weeks ago

Redhill

The High Horse Jockeys 🏇 starter pack:

-No action or extreme closeup photos (apart from boobs in a bra)- all “classy” and B&W of course

- “Don’t want to see what you had for breakfast”

- Would never, EVER “meet now” and people who do are desperate in their eyes

-“Everyone is cheap and slutty but me/us” badge of honour 🥇

- Protective, invisible field against married men/women playing away 🧙

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By *imply DeeWoman 4 weeks ago

Wherever

You guys are on the roll

Local fuckboi starter pack:

• dirty mirror gym selfie/toilet selfie

• what’s the motive tonight

• hangover horn, who’s free

• here for a good time not for a long time

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By *HUSH-Man 4 weeks ago

London

The “Golden generation”

Introduced to swinging on holiday in Scarborough in the summer of 1979.

Completely unfazed by anything sexual and prefer a cup of tea and a slice of cake before their meet instead of alcohol.

Afternoon meets are best as they’re looking after the grandchildren and promised to read them Goldilocks and the three bears.

Sign their DM’s with sincerely and a kiss.

Sex playlist includes tracks from Katie Melua and Savage Garden.

Adored by everyone on FAB

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By *illy IdolMan 4 weeks ago

Midlands

The ticking time bomb

- starts off with one blurry selfie

- joins the forums

- downloads a photo editing app

- revamps profile

- uploads multiple B&W pictures with new selfie stand

- posts a thread about "sites full of time wasters"

- UNLOS

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By (user no longer on site) OP    4 weeks ago


"The ticking time bomb

- starts off with one blurry selfie

- joins the forums

- downloads a photo editing app

- revamps profile

- uploads multiple B&W pictures with new selfie stand

- posts a thread about "sites full of time wasters"

- UNLOS"

Those last two are gonna happen any minute for me...

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By (user no longer on site) OP    4 weeks ago

The "Greedy Girl attender" starter pack:

- Usually middle aged

- No verifications from one to one meets

- Generic verifications that could've been written for anyone

- Happy to chat about cars while wanking himself off

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By *illy IdolMan 4 weeks ago

Midlands


"The ticking time bomb

- starts off with one blurry selfie

- joins the forums

- downloads a photo editing app

- revamps profile

- uploads multiple B&W pictures with new selfie stand

- posts a thread about "sites full of time wasters"

- UNLOS

Those last two are gonna happen any minute for me..."

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By (user no longer on site) OP    4 weeks ago

The "personality means a lot to me" starter pack:

- Must be at least 6' tall

- Must be VWE

- Must be a bearded Viking type

- Tattooed men to the front of the queue

- White/Black men only. It's just my preference

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By *HUSH-Man 4 weeks ago

London


"The "personality means a lot to me" starter pack:

- Must be at least 6' tall

- Must be VWE

- Must be a bearded Viking type

- Tattooed men to the front of the queue

- White/Black men only. It's just my preference"

Shots fired 😂

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By *he Infamous Minxie MinxWoman 4 weeks ago

Sussex

They are hilarious 😂 😃

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By *inAndTonic21Couple 4 weeks ago

Merseyside


"New Single man member starter

- ugly cock pick as profile so red looks like someone been Chinese burning it the last hour

- message every single female exact same message

- moan on forum when get no replies, call everyone a cunt and leave

"

This tickled me

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By *inAndTonic21Couple 4 weeks ago

Merseyside


"The "Does My Wife Know I'm Here" starter pack:

- "Will fill in later?"

- Looks for discrete fun. In discrete places, like behind a bush or the bins at Aldi

- Has two images. One is a close up of a penis over an (unflushed) loo. The feet visible are clad in white (Sports Direct finest).

- The second image is a blank, black avatar

- Is obviously one of the good ones. But can't work out why no-one is replying. Like really - why aren't all the stuck up [redacteds] replying?

- WhY dOn'T tHeY wAnT mY pEnIs?! "

🤣🤣🤣

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By *imply DeeWoman 4 weeks ago

Wherever

The “Intimidating MF couple” starter pack:

• we know what we are looking for and are not shy

• been here before so we know the score

• PLEASE DONT SEND ME ANY FRIENDS REQUESTS IF WE HAVE NEVER MET YOU BEFORE...

NO FRIENDS REQUESTS

NO FRIENDS REQUESTS

• you will be talking to the Mr only

• SINGLE GUYS WE WILL FIND YOU

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By *.T.Man 4 weeks ago

Glasgow

The Professionals starter pack:

Can't share photo's due to work.

Has a boss called Cowley.

Works for CI5.

Can't meet often due to work commitments.

Seeks other professionals without declaring what professions are deemed professional.

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman 4 weeks ago

North West


"The High Horse Jockeys 🏇 starter pack:

-No action or extreme closeup photos (apart from boobs in a bra)- all “classy” and B&W of course

- “Don’t want to see what you had for breakfast”

- Would never, EVER “meet now” and people who do are desperate in their eyes

-“Everyone is cheap and slutty but me/us” badge of honour 🥇

- Protective, invisible field against married men/women playing away 🧙

"

I feel seen! 😂

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By *ophieslutTV/TS 4 weeks ago

Central

Perhaps new users could get asked which starter pack would fit them best, by answering a few questions. They'd then be good to go

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By *mf123Man 4 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

Funk like a bison

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By *ackformore100Man 4 weeks ago

Tin town

The rainbow warrior

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