FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > A chat about race. Can't say never done...
A chat about race. Can't say never done...
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By *eli OP Woman 9 weeks ago
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I know, groan right?
Anyway, this weekend I heard the term swirling for the first time. Never come across it before. Never even considered it because I'm very mixed.
That led me to thinking - does someone's race/heritage/words along that line factor in to whether you'll meet them or not? Do you have a certain preference/tendency in terms of who you meet? Do you notice it when you meet people from Fab? |
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Oooh- had to Google as I didn’t know what it meant!
Well, I am swirled through and through and so are my kids, haha!
Anyone who meets me would be swirling 🍦 I met someone socially a few months ago and when he set eyes on me he was absolutely shocked that I wasn’t white British- how he didn’t realise when I have over 100 photos that clearly depict I am not, I will never know. It was a civil social, but you could cut the atmosphere with a knife and neither of us could end it quickly enough (me because of how uncomfortable he looked). Since then, I’ve written that I am not WB on my profile because I don’t want a repeat of that ever again.
But to be fair, it has been just the once in my life.
I love meeting people of all races, creeds, colours and flavours. 😍 🍭 🍦 |
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Well aware of the term ‘swirling’. I usually see it on profiles of white chaps and black women.
Ive noticed a 50/50 split on this interracial/swirling topic - half will say its more about the person triggering attraction. Half will say its fab and fantasy and race really plays a part as theyre able to access something exotic or taboo or try a certain race. |
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I find I have to be very direct and open about my mixed ethnicity. Back when I was on tinder looking for hookups I always had to mention it because there are some people (for me, they were always white people) who did not take kindly to not knowing beforehand that I am not white. |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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Lots of people think I'm black.. or half black.
I'm mainly Indian though. (Probably got some European ancestry too).
- The kamala harris dilemma.
(Or is that the other way round..) |
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By *eli OP Woman 9 weeks ago
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"Oooh- had to Google as I didn’t know what it meant!
Well, I am swirled through and through and so are my kids, haha!
Anyone who meets me would be swirling 🍦 I met someone socially a few months ago and when he set eyes on me he was absolutely shocked that I wasn’t white British- how he didn’t realise when I have over 100 photos that clearly depict I am not, I will never know. It was a civil social, but you could cut the atmosphere with a knife and neither of us could end it quickly enough (me because of how uncomfortable he looked). Since then, I’ve written that I am not WB on my profile because I don’t want a repeat of that ever again.
But to be fair, it has been just the once in my life.
I love meeting people of all races, creeds, colours and flavours. 😍 🍭 🍦 "
Oh you get it! I'm very swirled and bar my immediate close family, I've never met anyone with the same background as me. That's not a bad thing.
My immediate response was how do you swirl a swirled thing?
I'm really sorry to read about that experience, it must have felt cr*p and the rest. I'm glad it was a one off experience though. x |
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By *eli OP Woman 9 weeks ago
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"You're asking if people would ever swirl with someone not of their racial group OP? "
No. I'm asking if people would meet someone not of their heritage. If they have a preference or find that they tend to date similar etc. I'd not even thought about it before and then it got me thinking "why haven't I? I'm not colourblind (you know, someone who doesn't see. I do, i just don't care)" etc. |
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"I know, groan right?
Anyway, this weekend I heard the term swirling for the first time. Never come across it before. Never even considered it because I'm very mixed.
That led me to thinking - does someone's race/heritage/words along that line factor in to whether you'll meet them or not? Do you have a certain preference/tendency in terms of who you meet? Do you notice it when you meet people from Fab?"
I’d refrain from racist bigots.
Even a beauty!
It’s just not hot. |
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"I know, groan right?
Anyway, this weekend I heard the term swirling for the first time. Never come across it before. Never even considered it because I'm very mixed.
That led me to thinking - does someone's race/heritage/words along that line factor in to whether you'll meet them or not? Do you have a certain preference/tendency in terms of who you meet? Do you notice it when you meet people from Fab?"
It makes no difference to us  |
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"I know, groan right?
Anyway, this weekend I heard the term swirling for the first time. Never come across it before. Never even considered it because I'm very mixed.
That led me to thinking - does someone's race/heritage/words along that line factor in to whether you'll meet them or not? Do you have a certain preference/tendency in terms of who you meet? Do you notice it when you meet people from Fab?
I’d refrain from racist bigots.
Even a beauty!
It’s just not hot."
Totally agree 💯 |
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We do tend to meet British white people more often than not. It's not purposeful but I think we do find it easier to build a rapport with people from similar backgrounds to us.
When we meet others it's usually more in a spontaneous setting |
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By *eli OP Woman 9 weeks ago
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"Nah race never is an issue for us.
We have and will meet people from any racial background."
But there are people who actively seek out certain things aren't there? Like the popularity of certain club nights, abbreviations etc. On here it exists. Preference or whatever else you want to call it. |
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"Oooh- had to Google as I didn’t know what it meant!
Well, I am swirled through and through and so are my kids, haha!
Anyone who meets me would be swirling 🍦 I met someone socially a few months ago and when he set eyes on me he was absolutely shocked that I wasn’t white British- how he didn’t realise when I have over 100 photos that clearly depict I am not, I will never know. It was a civil social, but you could cut the atmosphere with a knife and neither of us could end it quickly enough (me because of how uncomfortable he looked). Since then, I’ve written that I am not WB on my profile because I don’t want a repeat of that ever again.
But to be fair, it has been just the once in my life.
I love meeting people of all races, creeds, colours and flavours. 😍 🍭 🍦 "
What's WB? |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"Oooh- had to Google as I didn’t know what it meant!
Well, I am swirled through and through and so are my kids, haha!
Anyone who meets me would be swirling 🍦 I met someone socially a few months ago and when he set eyes on me he was absolutely shocked that I wasn’t white British- how he didn’t realise when I have over 100 photos that clearly depict I am not, I will never know. It was a civil social, but you could cut the atmosphere with a knife and neither of us could end it quickly enough (me because of how uncomfortable he looked). Since then, I’ve written that I am not WB on my profile because I don’t want a repeat of that ever again.
But to be fair, it has been just the once in my life.
I love meeting people of all races, creeds, colours and flavours. 😍 🍭 🍦 What's WB?"
white british |
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By *.T.Man 9 weeks ago
Glasgow |
Opportunities to meet others not of my heritage are slim, mainly because I'm either me and not what people are looking for or I end up in a part of the country where the ethnic blend extents to false tan mahogany to milk bottle white.
I find non-causasians beautiful, but are such a minority I'll need to get down the gym for 8 hours a day then pop over to Turkey for a makeover to stand a chance.
Would I deselect a potential meet because of their heritage? Never.
I'm mindful not to put my preference on my profile for fear of being accused of fetishising women I have a genuine fondness of.
Being pale, male and stale, I don't ever want to cause offence. |
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"Nah race never is an issue for us.
We have and will meet people from any racial background.
But there are people who actively seek out certain things aren't there? Like the popularity of certain club nights, abbreviations etc. On here it exists. Preference or whatever else you want to call it."
We certainly seek it out very occasionally for something specific, so yes  |
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By *eli OP Woman 9 weeks ago
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"Well aware of the term ‘swirling’. I usually see it on profiles of white chaps and black women.
Ive noticed a 50/50 split on this interracial/swirling topic - half will say its more about the person triggering attraction. Half will say its fab and fantasy and race really plays a part as theyre able to access something exotic or taboo or try a certain race. "
Ah so you've come across it? It's interesting that it's more used when it's a black woman/white man. I don't think it was said as an insult to me, far from it. But it was inaccurate.
Yes, there are definitely people who belong in either tribe and I find it interesting why people feel that way/if they'd be open about it. |
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"Oooh- had to Google as I didn’t know what it meant!
Well, I am swirled through and through and so are my kids, haha!
Anyone who meets me would be swirling 🍦 I met someone socially a few months ago and when he set eyes on me he was absolutely shocked that I wasn’t white British- how he didn’t realise when I have over 100 photos that clearly depict I am not, I will never know. It was a civil social, but you could cut the atmosphere with a knife and neither of us could end it quickly enough (me because of how uncomfortable he looked). Since then, I’ve written that I am not WB on my profile because I don’t want a repeat of that ever again.
But to be fair, it has been just the once in my life.
I love meeting people of all races, creeds, colours and flavours. 😍 🍭 🍦 What's WB?
white british "
I personally can't see why white or black needs to come into it, it never crosses my mind, I also don't buy into white British or black British, this crap helps to force a wedge into society |
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Seriously though… I’m mixed race and every girlfriend I’ve had has been white British. I don’t intentionally look for white British women but they’re mostly the women I come into contact with on a day to day basis.
When it comes to swinging we have met other races. The only way we wouldn’t meet someone is if there was a language barrier because we like the people we meet to understand exactly what our boundaries are. |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"Oooh- had to Google as I didn’t know what it meant!
Well, I am swirled through and through and so are my kids, haha!
Anyone who meets me would be swirling 🍦 I met someone socially a few months ago and when he set eyes on me he was absolutely shocked that I wasn’t white British- how he didn’t realise when I have over 100 photos that clearly depict I am not, I will never know. It was a civil social, but you could cut the atmosphere with a knife and neither of us could end it quickly enough (me because of how uncomfortable he looked). Since then, I’ve written that I am not WB on my profile because I don’t want a repeat of that ever again.
But to be fair, it has been just the once in my life.
I love meeting people of all races, creeds, colours and flavours. 😍 🍭 🍦 What's WB?
white british I personally can't see why white or black needs to come into it, it never crosses my mind, I also don't buy into white British or black British, this crap helps to force a wedge into society "
I tend to put "other" if I have to fill in these types of forms. |
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When I lived in the States I heard it talked about in the swingers clubs back in 2004. There were clubs back then for interracial hook ups of white couples and black men mostly. Back then it was used as a fun term of endearment to have sexual relations with someone other than your own race. Considering it was the US and their problems with race, this was seen as a non aggressive way of introducing different people to each other. There was swirl nights in regular clubs, and exclusively swirl clubs. It was at a time when communities is swingers clubs were coming together, pun intended, to actually normalise things. They were very successful and very professionally run. No drugs, anti social behaviour, idiots, pushy people, and single guys were very welcome. How times have changed.
But swirling was very intense back then and everyone was happy. |
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"You're asking if people would ever swirl with someone not of their racial group OP?
No. I'm asking if people would meet someone not of their heritage. If they have a preference or find that they tend to date similar etc. I'd not even thought about it before and then it got me thinking "why haven't I? I'm not colourblind (you know, someone who doesn't see. I do, i just don't care)" etc."
All sounds a bit school age for me |
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By *eli OP Woman 9 weeks ago
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"I find I have to be very direct and open about my mixed ethnicity. Back when I was on tinder looking for hookups I always had to mention it because there are some people (for me, they were always white people) who did not take kindly to not knowing beforehand that I am not white. "
Really? Gosh. That's crap. I think people can find it childish etc but giving how others react/respond and exclude/fetishise based on race... it's not for those on the receiving end. |
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I think having preferences is one thing and we're all human. It can be race, age, height, whatever.(not including racism and bigotry in this, they can fuck off)
I think the problem is when we fetishcise specific aspects like race and gender and this leads to objectifying people for someone's own pleasure. Not saying it always happens but it's a risk. |
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"... ...does someone's race/heritage/words along that line factor in to whether you'll meet them or not?"
Absolutely not. On the other hand, however, it has been a strong factor for them •not• to meet me. I'll take it on the chin if it's a regular Fab person, less so when it's an extant forum-dweller!
"Do you have a certain preference/tendency in terms of who you meet? Do you notice it when you meet people from Fab?"
I haven't read anyone else's responses but I'm not quite clear on this question, other than I have no deal-breaking 'certain preferences' whatsoever. |
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"Seriously though… I’m mixed race and every girlfriend I’ve had has been white British. I don’t intentionally look for white British women but they’re mostly the women I come into contact with on a day to day basis.
When it comes to swinging we have met other races. The only way we wouldn’t meet someone is if there was a language barrier because we like the people we meet to understand exactly what our boundaries are."
Geordies talking language barriers lol xxxxx |
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"Seriously though… I’m mixed race and every girlfriend I’ve had has been white British. I don’t intentionally look for white British women but they’re mostly the women I come into contact with on a day to day basis.
When it comes to swinging we have met other races. The only way we wouldn’t meet someone is if there was a language barrier because we like the people we meet to understand exactly what our boundaries are. Geordies talking language barriers lol xxxxx"
Coming from someone from *checks notes* Doncaster? 🤣 |
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"I find I have to be very direct and open about my mixed ethnicity. Back when I was on tinder looking for hookups I always had to mention it because there are some people (for me, they were always white people) who did not take kindly to not knowing beforehand that I am not white.
Really? Gosh. That's crap. I think people can find it childish etc but giving how others react/respond and exclude/fetishise based on race... it's not for those on the receiving end."
There were times where I felt unsafe when I had not 'disclosed' that I wasn't white. I haven't felt it to the same way in this community but I did get made to feel a man I met at a club recently had a particular interest in me because I would be an interesting tick on his ethnicity checklist. |
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Blimey. Ok. We’ll, I’m of mixed heritage and it’s very often you’ll see on peoples profiles “no Asian men!!” And considering I’m mixed white/asian, I’ve always thought ‘where does that leave me?’ Anyhow, what I’ve come to find out is that people, no matter how much anyone tries to educate, will be people and they can be very quite nasty, purposefully or not. |
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I wish I met more Black women and woc in the scene. I’ve tried other places (poc socials) instead because fab, particularly the forums and the socials just seem to attract less of them. It doesn’t matter much to me, race or heritage, but I understand why it does to poc when it comes to dating. Not in a dr umar sense but in a, there are things that are easier when dating within your own culture. But yeah obviously I like the swirl. But I think people get me liking white women confused with me preferring them or not liking woc. I VERY MUCH like woc. |
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By *eli OP Woman 9 weeks ago
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"Lots of people think I'm black.. or half black.
I'm mainly Indian though. (Probably got some European ancestry too).
- The kamala harris dilemma.
(Or is that the other way round..)"
Do people ever play guess the heritage with you? 'Cause sometimes that gets really boring, really quickly.  |
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I very much doubt that there is a single person in this country that is pure white british.
I have English, Irish, French and Italian blood.
For me, skin colour is just that, it doesn't define who a person is |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"Lots of people think I'm black.. or half black.
I'm mainly Indian though. (Probably got some European ancestry too).
- The kamala harris dilemma.
(Or is that the other way round..)
Do people ever play guess the heritage with you? 'Cause sometimes that gets really boring, really quickly. "
Absolutely. It's a favourite game..
People even blurt out" What are you?"
-Like Arnold Schwarzenegger asks the alien at the end of the predator film.  |
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"Lots of people think I'm black.. or half black.
I'm mainly Indian though. (Probably got some European ancestry too).
- The kamala harris dilemma.
(Or is that the other way round..)
Do people ever play guess the heritage with you? 'Cause sometimes that gets really boring, really quickly. "
Usually get asked within the first 5/10 minutes of meeting anyone. I don't mind |
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Race doesn't play any part in who we choose to meet but afew functioning brain cells/social skills/sense of humour or lack of them does ? xxx ps forgot to say reading and the abilty to understand what is written or not ? xx |
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I take everyone at face value. I couldn't care less what colour or nationality they are. Chats ,banter, physical attraction is the only boxes I thick.and I will say a clamped nipple goes a long way with me  |
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By *eli OP Woman 9 weeks ago
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"Opportunities to meet others not of my heritage are slim, mainly because I'm either me and not what people are looking for or I end up in a part of the country where the ethnic blend extents to false tan mahogany to milk bottle white.
I find non-causasians beautiful, but are such a minority I'll need to get down the gym for 8 hours a day then pop over to Turkey for a makeover to stand a chance.
Would I deselect a potential meet because of their heritage? Never.
I'm mindful not to put my preference on my profile for fear of being accused of fetishising women I have a genuine fondness of.
Being pale, male and stale, I don't ever want to cause offence."
Tan mahogany to milk bottle white. Yep, sometimes it's about opportunity. If you live in a predominantly white area, it kind of lessens the likelihood. If that makes sense.
There's a definite fine line between appreciating certain features and fetishizing a person down to a ticklist. You seem very self aware and respectful so I doubt you do. |
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I don't care about someone's race.
I can love or hate any mix of genetics.
I've just changed my profile to a particular ethnicity, which I've not done before.
Not that anyone is taking much notice of my requirements.
When I'm in bed with a man-or out having a drink or meal with him- I'm out with a man. Not a black, white, Asian, Eastern European, British, Irish, Moroccan etc etc man.
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"Opportunities to meet others not of my heritage are slim, mainly because I'm either me and not what people are looking for or I end up in a part of the country where the ethnic blend extents to false tan mahogany to milk bottle white.
I find non-causasians beautiful, but are such a minority I'll need to get down the gym for 8 hours a day then pop over to Turkey for a makeover to stand a chance.
Would I deselect a potential meet because of their heritage? Never.
I'm mindful not to put my preference on my profile for fear of being accused of fetishising women I have a genuine fondness of.
Being pale, male and stale, I don't ever want to cause offence.
Tan mahogany to milk bottle white. Yep, sometimes it's about opportunity. If you live in a predominantly white area, it kind of lessens the likelihood. If that makes sense.
There's a definite fine line between appreciating certain features and fetishizing a person down to a ticklist. You seem very self aware and respectful so I doubt you do."
I think myself incredibly fortunate that I live in a very diverse part of England.
I'm spoilt for choice |
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In the sense that humans are a product of their culture then it can be intriguing. It's beliefs and values in particular that interest me. However, I don't think that these can be condensed to, or predicted by, race etc.
Diversity in thought interests me, and the manner in which people tick can be intensely attractive in many ways. So the idea of difference is appealing rather than off-putting for me.
Personally, I feel affinity bias is a prerequisite to prejudice. We can only become averse to difference if we seek sameness. |
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I've never once considered a person's race or heritage as a factor in deciding whether to meet them or not.
Growing up in a society where heritage was used as a huge stick to beat the other side with I despise those sort of attitudes.
I approach fab like I approach life in general.
I have friends from India, Ghana, Poland and Hungary and their race, nationality or heritage is irrelevant in regard to our friendship.
One of my closest friends is from Puerto Rico and when I met her through fab we became friends because we had things in common and liked each other and not because of or in spite of her skin tone.
I've said before here that I'm blind to race creed colour and gender when talking to people and I've been told that's a disrespectful attitude to have but if treating everyone as a human being first and foremost is disrespectful then I'm guilty as charged but I will continue to do that.
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A persons skin colour, ethnicity or race doesn't make them any more or less attractive to me, and isn't a factor for meets.
I'm very pale so most people are darker than me anyway.
I have mainly dated white men but that's because I live in a very white area. I have friends and acquaintances from a variety of backgrounds and the friend I spend most time with is mixed race. |
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By *HUSH-Man 9 weeks ago
London |
I’m either attracted to the person or I’m not regardless of what their ethnicity is. I also don’t seek out any kind of specific race. I just like what I like.
I also have some mixed blood. I’m not white British. Generally people get some of my ethnicity right but not all…. Although Falcon in the guess the name of the poster above thread last night said something which was a bit eerie.
He guessed my name was Youssef. My name is actually very English (Germanic origin) and the reason why I was given that name is because people were struggling to spell and say the name my older sister was given.
She has an Arabic name. |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"I’m either attracted to the person or I’m not regardless of what their ethnicity is. I also don’t seek out any kind of specific race. I just like what I like.
I also have some mixed blood. I’m not white British. Generally people get some of my ethnicity right but not all…. Although Falcon in the guess the name of the poster above thread last night said something which was a bit eerie.
He guessed my name was Youssef. My name is actually very English (Germanic origin) and the reason why I was given that name is because people were struggling to spell and say the name my older sister was given.
She has an Arabic name. "
I told you I'm good at that game !
Psychic ..
I have an indian name which is quite a rare one ( clue for next time I play that game...) |
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There are beautiful women of all ethnicities and I would consider myself fortunate to play with any of them. The idea of only being willing to meet people of one ethnic background is absolutely baffling to me. |
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By *HUSH-Man 9 weeks ago
London |
"I’m either attracted to the person or I’m not regardless of what their ethnicity is. I also don’t seek out any kind of specific race. I just like what I like.
I also have some mixed blood. I’m not white British. Generally people get some of my ethnicity right but not all…. Although Falcon in the guess the name of the poster above thread last night said something which was a bit eerie.
He guessed my name was Youssef. My name is actually very English (Germanic origin) and the reason why I was given that name is because people were struggling to spell and say the name my older sister was given.
She has an Arabic name.
I told you I'm good at that game !
Psychic ..
I have an indian name which is quite a rare one ( clue for next time I play that game...)"
I was taken aback by it.
I’ll have a think what your name might be. 🤔
My ex girlfriend’s name is Inderjit…. Typically more common among men. So I’ll guess that first. |
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"... ...does someone's race/heritage/words along that line factor in to whether you'll meet them or not?
Absolutely not. On the other hand, however, it has been a strong factor for them •not• to meet me. I'll take it on the chin if it's a regular Fab person, less so when it's an extant forum-dweller!
Do you have a certain preference/tendency in terms of who you meet? Do you notice it when you meet people from Fab?
I haven't read anyone else's responses but I'm not quite clear on this question, other than I have no deal-breaking 'certain preferences' whatsoever."
·
I suppose I have to add that if the bitch drinks PSLs, then I'm not interested. 😉❤️ |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"I’m either attracted to the person or I’m not regardless of what their ethnicity is. I also don’t seek out any kind of specific race. I just like what I like.
I also have some mixed blood. I’m not white British. Generally people get some of my ethnicity right but not all…. Although Falcon in the guess the name of the poster above thread last night said something which was a bit eerie.
He guessed my name was Youssef. My name is actually very English (Germanic origin) and the reason why I was given that name is because people were struggling to spell and say the name my older sister was given.
She has an Arabic name.
I told you I'm good at that game !
Psychic ..
I have an indian name which is quite a rare one ( clue for next time I play that game...)
I was taken aback by it.
I’ll have a think what your name might be. 🤔
My ex girlfriend’s name is Inderjit…. Typically more common among men. So I’ll guess that first. "
That sounds a bit like a Sikh name?
There's a british actor with my name...& a guy from the progressive metal band "animals as leaders" with my name..they're the only instance I've seen with anybody fairly well known with my name. |
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I'd not heard the term "swirling" before, so I abandoned all my norms and Googled a term I read on Fab. I trusted you not to send me for eye bleach, Meli
I have swirled. I swirl. I'm don't have any preference or fetish around ethnicity at all. Most people have zero idea that I'm not 100% bona fide white, Caucasian British either, I pass as such because I'm lily white with blue eyes. My name confuses some, but they seem to get over it.
I've never dated a non-white guy in a relationship situation. That's mainly because I've been in a largely monogamous (until recently) relationship with my white British husband for over 20yrs and my boyfriends prior to that were few and I was brought up in a very white British area and senior school, unfortunately. My younger childhood was much more multicultural but we moved away before the boyfriend era.
I only realised I was being raised by serious racists when it came to me disclosing the name I'd have given my child had he been female. I had no idea that the name I preferred implied to racists a certain racial background. It's only later, when I joined the dots, that I recognised the level of yuck in my immediate family. I think most who know me here know that I have nothing to do with my mother for this and other reasons. When your mother actively hates an aspect of my own genetic lineage (from my Dad's side), that's a bizarre one to reconcile. |
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By *HUSH-Man 9 weeks ago
London |
"I’m either attracted to the person or I’m not regardless of what their ethnicity is. I also don’t seek out any kind of specific race. I just like what I like.
I also have some mixed blood. I’m not white British. Generally people get some of my ethnicity right but not all…. Although Falcon in the guess the name of the poster above thread last night said something which was a bit eerie.
He guessed my name was Youssef. My name is actually very English (Germanic origin) and the reason why I was given that name is because people were struggling to spell and say the name my older sister was given.
She has an Arabic name.
I told you I'm good at that game !
Psychic ..
I have an indian name which is quite a rare one ( clue for next time I play that game...)
I was taken aback by it.
I’ll have a think what your name might be. 🤔
My ex girlfriend’s name is Inderjit…. Typically more common among men. So I’ll guess that first.
That sounds a bit like a Sikh name?
There's a british actor with my name...& a guy from the progressive metal band "animals as leaders" with my name..they're the only instance I've seen with anybody fairly well known with my name."
She is Sikh so certainly could be.
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"Oooh- had to Google as I didn’t know what it meant!
Well, I am swirled through and through and so are my kids, haha!
Anyone who meets me would be swirling 🍦 I met someone socially a few months ago and when he set eyes on me he was absolutely shocked that I wasn’t white British- how he didn’t realise when I have over 100 photos that clearly depict I am not, I will never know. It was a civil social, but you could cut the atmosphere with a knife and neither of us could end it quickly enough (me because of how uncomfortable he looked). Since then, I’ve written that I am not WB on my profile because I don’t want a repeat of that ever again.
But to be fair, it has been just the once in my life.
I love meeting people of all races, creeds, colours and flavours. 😍 🍭 🍦 "
He was that shallow? You had a lucky escape, you’re blooming gorgeous |
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"That led me to thinking - does someone's race/heritage/words along that line factor in to whether you'll meet them or not? Do you have a certain preference/tendency in terms of who you meet? Do you notice it when you meet people from Fab?"
Don't have a particular preference. Tend to be more interested in if I vibe with someone or not.
Only time someone's race/heritage/words factor into whether I'll meet them is if someone is being intolerant or racist. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 9 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Every day is a school day! Never heard that before.
And no. Makes sod all difference to me. I'd never consider the make up of someone's DNA to be an important factor in whether I was interested in the or not.
100% couldn't care less. 🤷♂️ |
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“Swirling” or “swirlers” is African American Vernicular English (AAVE) which specifically refers to interracial relationships with one Black person and one white.
As a visibly mixed woman, I’ve got to say that my race has played a huge part in my dating/ sex life. Fetishisation and rejection on the basis of my skin colour is real.
There’s also some weird myth that mixed women with Black dads aren’t attracted to Black men, I certainly don’t follow that weird rule. |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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It's never been a factor for me but have noticed a trend in the type of women willing to meet me. I'm not sure if it's been un-conscious bias but while I wouldn't only meet someone for their race, I also wouldn't meet someone of a different race just because I felt like I had to buck any trend. |
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By *.T.Man 9 weeks ago
Glasgow |
"
There's a definite fine line between appreciating certain features and fetishizing a person down to a ticklist. You seem very self aware and respectful so I doubt you do."
Thank you Meli.
I feel confident enough now to add a line to my profile. |
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Why do white women go gaga over BBC and black girls seem to be far more grown up and not stupidly just fetishizing white guys like white women do ,I had a massive talk about this once with my two best mates (who are black) and tbh they told me white girls only like the tabooness of it , fair play to them I say , but black girls are far more grown up in their attitudes to men |
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By *.T.Man 9 weeks ago
Glasgow |
"Why do white women go gaga over BBC and black girls seem to be far more grown up and not stupidly just fetishizing white guys like white women do ,I had a massive talk about this once with my two best mates (who are black) and tbh they told me white girls only like the tabooness of it , fair play to them I say , but black girls are far more grown up in their attitudes to men "
White people are the problem. We made the problem.
We created the taboo.
We perpetuate it through porn.
The superior attitude that white imperialists (Europeans generally) created through exploration then exploitation is a beast of our own making.
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By *eli OP Woman 9 weeks ago
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"“Swirling” or “swirlers” is African American Vernicular English (AAVE) which specifically refers to interracial relationships with one Black person and one white.
As a visibly mixed woman, I’ve got to say that my race has played a huge part in my dating/ sex life. Fetishisation and rejection on the basis of my skin colour is real.
There’s also some weird myth that mixed women with Black dads aren’t attracted to Black men, I certainly don’t follow that weird rule."
I'm visibly mixed (ambiguous) heritage as well! It's part of what inspired the thread. The rejection must be really crap, the fetishisation? I find annoying. I'm as exotic as a Victoria sponge cake and yet I've received messages telling me I am. That they've never been with an exotic woman.
Or then there are the couples who proudly state they're only interested in meeting white people. When I point out I'm very far from it (I normally have a few photos up), they tell me they'd make an exception for me.
I've heard that weird myth as well. I don't know why the beep that came about. Anyway, this thread is really interesting and I'll come back to comment/ask a few more questions on posts in the morning. |
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"Thanks for the new word Meli. So far I've found four definitions.
Race doesn't matter to me as long as I find the person attractive.
That's a terrifying avatar picture granny "
How rude. I can't help looking the way I do. This is face shaming at it's worst |
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Not a term I’ve heard before. A persons race, ethnicity or nationality doesn’t factor in to whether I want to meet them or not. Personally I dislike the idea of anyone being fetishised because of their skin colour or origins. |
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"Why do white women go gaga over BBC and black girls seem to be far more grown up and not stupidly just fetishizing white guys like white women do ,I had a massive talk about this once with my two best mates (who are black) and tbh they told me white girls only like the tabooness of it , fair play to them I say , but black girls are far more grown up in their attitudes to men
White people are the problem. We made the problem.
We created the taboo.
We perpetuate it through porn.
The superior attitude that white imperialists (Europeans generally) created through exploration then exploitation is a beast of our own making.
"
Couldn't agree anymore to this...the amount of times I've been with white guys far larger than other black guys and it's always white males or females saying don't you miss the BBC...no I don't I've enjoyed big white cocks often...
I miss when men were real men... regardless of cock colour |
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I'm mixed race, I'm also adopted and raised as 'white', but was always told I'm 'mixed race'. With zero acknowledging to which 'race'. It massively sucks that at 45, I have zero link to my heritage other than my own attributes. I know I'm not 'white Biritsh', but I'll probably die without knowing 'what I am'... This doesn't bother me |
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"I'm mixed race, I'm also adopted and raised as 'white', but was always told I'm 'mixed race'. With zero acknowledging to which 'race'. It massively sucks that at 45, I have zero link to my heritage other than my own attributes. I know I'm not 'white Biritsh', but I'll probably die without knowing 'what I am'... This doesn't bother me "
•
Look up "Jassa Ahluwalia". He's a white gentleman, actor/producer, blue'ish eyes, light brown hair and the usual Caucasian features...
...but he speaks fluent Punjabi (his native language) because of his 'mixed race' upbringing. He's the product of nurture over nature. |
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"I'm mixed race, I'm also adopted and raised as 'white', but was always told I'm 'mixed race'. With zero acknowledging to which 'race'. It massively sucks that at 45, I have zero link to my heritage other than my own attributes. I know I'm not 'white Biritsh', but I'll probably die without knowing 'what I am'... This doesn't bother me
•
Look up "Jassa Ahluwalia". He's a white gentleman, actor/producer, blue'ish eyes, light brown hair and the usual Caucasian features...
...but he speaks fluent Punjabi (his native language) because of his 'mixed race' upbringing. He's the product of nurture over nature. "
My sister grew up with Jassa, he’s just an all around exceptional human! |
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"“Swirling” or “swirlers” is African American Vernicular English (AAVE) which specifically refers to interracial relationships with one Black person and one white.
As a visibly mixed woman, I’ve got to say that my race has played a huge part in my dating/ sex life. Fetishisation and rejection on the basis of my skin colour is real.
There’s also some weird myth that mixed women with Black dads aren’t attracted to Black men, I certainly don’t follow that weird rule.
I'm visibly mixed (ambiguous) heritage as well! It's part of what inspired the thread. The rejection must be really crap, the fetishisation? I find annoying. I'm as exotic as a Victoria sponge cake and yet I've received messages telling me I am. That they've never been with an exotic woman.
Or then there are the couples who proudly state they're only interested in meeting white people. When I point out I'm very far from it (I normally have a few photos up), they tell me they'd make an exception for me.
I've heard that weird myth as well. I don't know why the beep that came about. Anyway, this thread is really interesting and I'll come back to comment/ask a few more questions on posts in the morning. "
I call those profiles the “no irish, no blacks, no dogs” crowd 😂. I appreciate it because at least they are bold with their racism and have been so kind as to have given me a warning!
Yeah the fetishisation when seen as something exotic, when in reality I grew up in the English countryside surrounded by a lot of white people is absurd. I’ve had men in my inbox saying how they’ve always wanted to “try” a mixed/ Black girl like we’re inherently different and a fun little diversion from the “norm”.
Yes, there’s a lot of talk of “well that’s just my preference” but racial preferences are clearly soaked in biases and prejudices. |
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By *eli OP Woman 9 weeks ago
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"Thanks for the new word Meli. So far I've found four definitions.
Race doesn't matter to me as long as I find the person attractive.
That's a terrifying avatar picture granny
How rude. I can't help looking the way I do. This is face shaming at it's worst "
You're welcome Crumpster! I'd not heard it before, not sure how I feel about it but it's a new word. That's exciting.
Ignore the meanie, your avatar is fit. 🔥 |
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I'm not bothered about heritage myself as it's hard to find someone of the same heritage as myself and even harder to spot without having a long conversation. I'm just a cocktail from 4 continents.
I have noticed people mixed up heritage (DNA that determines your features and skin tone) and culture. You can change your culture, take on attributes from different cultures but can not change youth DNA.
My point is I was raised in an English (London specifically) culture and Caribbean culture but look South Indian despite not know anything about India/Asia. I also have a over 20% Nigerian in my DNA as I'm a product of S1@vry and the melting pot of the West Indies..
Many of us are mixed but as long as you are a good person it does not matter the me. |
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I've never heard that term before but you learn something new.
I also agree with the don't see colour comment because unless you're blind you can see when someone has a different ethnicity to you.
I simply don't judge in colour.
Someone's race or ethnicity doesn't come into it when I'm deciding whether to meet someone or not. I'm either attracted to you and we get on or not.
Am I attracted to one race over another, in short no I'm not but I grew up in a predominantly white area. There wasn't a big diversity anywhere near me so I wasn't exposed to many different cultures unless I was in a big city.
I'm white Irish, so is my husband. We grew up 5 minutes away from each other.
Are most of my few verifications from black men?
Yes they are.
Is that because I'm only attracted to black men or fetishize them?
No it's not.
I seem to get on better with black men, the ones I've met anyway. We vibe better and in turn have better sex.
The amount of disrespect, no shows, lies and ignorance I've had from white men is something else.
Will that make me stop trying to meet white men I'm attracted to?
No it won't but that's just what I've found since being on here.
Attraction is there for many factors, none of them being someones ethnicity.
I don't comment on race threads very often and maybe I haven't explained what I was trying to say very well here either.
In short, attraction is attraction, a handsome face, a great personality, a rip your clothes off spark,respect and manners, those are the things I look for.
If that ends up meaning a swirl or a white magnum then so be it.
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By *eli OP Woman 9 weeks ago
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"I've never heard that term before but you learn something new.
I also agree with the don't see colour comment because unless you're blind you can see when someone has a different ethnicity to you.
I simply don't judge in colour.
Someone's race or ethnicity doesn't come into it when I'm deciding whether to meet someone or not. I'm either attracted to you and we get on or not.
Am I attracted to one race over another, in short no I'm not but I grew up in a predominantly white area. There wasn't a big diversity anywhere near me so I wasn't exposed to many different cultures unless I was in a big city.
I'm white Irish, so is my husband. We grew up 5 minutes away from each other.
Are most of my few verifications from black men?
Yes they are.
Is that because I'm only attracted to black men or fetishize them?
No it's not.
I seem to get on better with black men, the ones I've met anyway. We vibe better and in turn have better sex.
The amount of disrespect, no shows, lies and ignorance I've had from white men is something else.
Will that make me stop trying to meet white men I'm attracted to?
No it won't but that's just what I've found since being on here.
Attraction is there for many factors, none of them being someones ethnicity.
I don't comment on race threads very often and maybe I haven't explained what I was trying to say very well here either.
In short, attraction is attraction, a handsome face, a great personality, a rip your clothes off spark,respect and manners, those are the things I look for.
If that ends up meaning a swirl or a white magnum then so be it.
"
I really appreciate your honest post - even more so because you don't comment on race threads very often. They have a tendency to become very bleurgh very quickly and really wanted to avoid that with this one. Have a respectful discussion and find out more about how others view/feel about things.
It makes perfect sense why you meet the way you do, when you've had various disappointments it can affect the likelihood of you risking another. But you've not said you've got a preference, that you're fetishising anyone.
Thank you Em. 🧡 |
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