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Married! Fab not going too well :D
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Married! Fab not going too well :D
I am married, get hit on in real life a lot but push it away as not interested in emotional connections.
Don’t want a relationship as I am lucky to have have a few platonic girlfriends for dates and holidays – and we are close and great mates.
Had a FWB on Tinder last year till she wanted a b/f and that was not for me at the time.
Had paid Fab till recently, also paid Tinder, wife is totally okay with all of this.
Am I being unrealistic? |
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By *batMan 8 weeks ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
Unrealistic about what? I'm not sure I follow your line of questioning?
Are you honestly that atypical? I'm not trying to pick a fight, just curious as to what you are asking.
Gbat |
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Yeah very atypical; bestie is 22 years younger than me, a model, and is my wife-from-another-life. There are a few others as well.
Am I unrealistic about meeting anyone on here without out having an emotional connection.
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By *batMan 8 weeks ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
"Am I unrealistic about meeting anyone on here without out having an emotional connection.
"
Course not. Lots of people meet here just for a fuck. Sadly, that doesn't mean they'll necessarily meet you or I.
Gbat
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"Yes I think you are being unrealistic.
You say you have a wife, platonic girlfriends for dates and holidays..why don't you fuck all of them. There's nothing left for any female you meet on Fab ..
"
My wife likes to stay at home; she is hugely introverted.
Could not fuck my friends, do give Reiki, Reflexology or a massage to them; they are well fit but for me they feel like family if that makes any sense?
There is plenty left for Fab, I can't bonk my mates!
Thank you for your thoughts, I am just trying to work out what is going on with me. |
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"Yes I think you are being unrealistic.
You say you have a wife, platonic girlfriends for dates and holidays..why don't you fuck all of them. There's nothing left for any female you meet on Fab ..
My wife likes to stay at home; she is hugely introverted.
Could not fuck my friends, do give Reiki, Reflexology or a massage to them; they are well fit but for me they feel like family if that makes any sense?
There is plenty left for Fab, I can't bonk my mates!
Thank you for your thoughts, I am just trying to work out what is going on with me. "
I think we’re all trying to work out what’s going on with you… |
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"How do you know the real life women want a relationship? Maybe you could pursue something with them.
Otherwise most men meeting as singles find it difficult on fab whether they pay or not"
I do get hit on, I know as they get excited, I say I am married - their energy drops and I get a dirty look as if it was my fault.
I do not want to have intimacy with anyone outside of Fab unless they know I am unavailable for a relationship, if this makes sense? |
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Let me get this right - you get hit on left, right and centre by all these gorgeous women who you can’t fuck because you are in a relationship and they will only fuck you if you have a relationship with them which puts an end to all the action. Therefore you thought you would come to fab because all everyone does on here is fuck like rabbits and there is no chance of anyone even considering asking for a relationship but now you can’t find anyone to fuck you despite the fact that elsewhere you are babe magnet.
Have I understood correctly? |
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"How do you know the real life women want a relationship? Maybe you could pursue something with them.
Otherwise most men meeting as singles find it difficult on fab whether they pay or not
I do get hit on, I know as they get excited, I say I am married - their energy drops and I get a dirty look as if it was my fault.
I do not want to have intimacy with anyone outside of Fab unless they know I am unavailable for a relationship, if this makes sense?"
Yes it does make sense.
You're facing the challenges that most men in fab face I guess. All I can say is keep looking  |
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"Let me get this right - you get hit on left, right and centre by all these gorgeous women who you can’t fuck because you are in a relationship and they will only fuck you if you have a relationship with them which puts an end to all the action. Therefore you thought you would come to fab because all everyone does on here is fuck like rabbits and there is no chance of anyone even considering asking for a relationship but now you can’t find anyone to fuck you despite the fact that elsewhere you are babe magnet.
Have I understood correctly?"
Yeah - more or less. I feel stuff very deeply, so would prefer to have physical fun without emotional connection.
Wife gets physical and emotional stuff; can't do both at the same time as don't have the emotional room. |
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"Let me get this right - you get hit on left, right and centre by all these gorgeous women who you can’t fuck because you are in a relationship and they will only fuck you if you have a relationship with them which puts an end to all the action. Therefore you thought you would come to fab because all everyone does on here is fuck like rabbits and there is no chance of anyone even considering asking for a relationship but now you can’t find anyone to fuck you despite the fact that elsewhere you are babe magnet.
Have I understood correctly?
Yeah - more or less. I feel stuff very deeply, so would prefer to have physical fun without emotional connection.
Wife gets physical and emotional stuff; can't do both at the same time as don't have the emotional room."
It is one of those mystery’s of life that men who are so sexually successful in all other areas of their life seem to struggle on here and yet they persist in trying to make this place work.  |
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"How do you know the women hitting on you want a relationship?
When I tell them I am married after they register their interest they are avoidant. "
That could just be because you're married rather than because they themselves want a relationship. They might be up for something casual, but not with someone who is attached. I could understand that.
Doesn't help your problem, I know. I guess you've just got to keep being honest about what you do and don't want want. Maybe you need to find a married woman who is in the same boat? |
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"It is one of those mystery’s of life that men who are so sexually successful in all other areas of their life seem to struggle on here and yet they persist in trying to make this place work. "
This! |
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"That could just be because you're married rather than because they themselves want a relationship. They might be up for something casual, but not with someone who is attached. I could understand that.
Doesn't help your problem, I know. I guess you've just got to keep being honest about what you do and don't want want. Maybe you need to find a married woman who is in the same boat?"
Also this! |
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To us, this just sounds like self- promotion, fantasy bollox, to which there is a lot of on the forums. Obviously we don't know you and could be completely wrong, but have to ask, why would you ask such a question (as vague as the original post was), if it wasn't for the chance to say how so many women throw themselves at your feet for you only to turn them down because they want your soul as well as your body? |
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"To us, this just sounds like self- promotion, fantasy bollox, to which there is a lot of on the forums. Obviously we don't know you and could be completely wrong, but have to ask, why would you ask such a question (as vague as the original post was), if it wasn't for the chance to say how so many women throw themselves at your feet for you only to turn them down because they want your soul as well as your body?"
I have no idea. I didn't ask for this, and my life has been rather confusing with interest coming from nowhere. Took me till the last few years to work out what is going on.
Not complaining; strangers say they enjoy my vibe/energy.
Still working out what boundaries are okay. |
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"What about a club?
Well, my wife suggested the same! If I went to a club with someone who I had had intimacy with, yes probably would. Do not have this connection at this time, thank you."
You could go alone. I think you're more likely to meet women who aren't looking for a relationship. As you do better in person this might be the ideal answer |
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"To us, this just sounds like self- promotion, fantasy bollox, to which there is a lot of on the forums. Obviously we don't know you and could be completely wrong, but have to ask, why would you ask such a question (as vague as the original post was), if it wasn't for the chance to say how so many women throw themselves at your feet for you only to turn them down because they want your soul as well as your body?
I have no idea. I didn't ask for this, and my life has been rather confusing with interest coming from nowhere. Took me till the last few years to work out what is going on.
Not complaining; strangers say they enjoy my vibe/energy.
Still working out what boundaries are okay. "
You seem to be pretty clear on where your boundaries are |
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"You could go alone. I think you're more likely to meet women who aren't looking for a relationship. As you do better in person this might be the ideal answer"
Yes think you are right. Might need to go a few times, first to check it out, second to engage. |
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We have a guy coming to see my Missus because his wife has developed a mental health problem, and she can't stand being touched by anyone at all. No hugs for her kids, no cuddles for her husband, and certainly no sex with her.
He was physically starved for about 5 years before he joined an obscure dating site (just to chat for tossing off) but got nattering to my Missus.
Trust was built through extensive messaging, and both aren't looking for anything other than sex - apart from also emotionally unloading with her.
For about a year now, she has been providing an outlet for his frustrations, and his homelife has been much more relaxed as a result. She has no intention of mentioning the liaisons to anyone, so he has no guilt or anxiety.
These situations can work, but you have to find the right person. |
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"Married! Fab not going too well :D
I am married, get hit on in real life a lot but push it away as not interested in emotional connections.
Don’t want a relationship as I am lucky to have have a few platonic girlfriends for dates and holidays – and we are close and great mates.
Had a FWB on Tinder last year till she wanted a b/f and that was not for me at the time.
Had paid Fab till recently, also paid Tinder, wife is totally okay with all of this.
Am I being unrealistic?"
nope, you’re being a “Player” 😂 |
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"Yes I think you are being unrealistic.
You say you have a wife, platonic girlfriends for dates and holidays..why don't you fuck all of them. There's nothing left for any female you meet on Fab ..
"
I think the opposite, there are lots of women on fab like the fact that a man or not needy for them and have a whole big life outside of fab, including regular partners, and don’t pester them every day with messages or need instant replies.
I would say be patient and find your people here, they are definitely on here for a guy like you |
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"Yes I think you are being unrealistic.
You say you have a wife, platonic girlfriends for dates and holidays..why don't you fuck all of them. There's nothing left for any female you meet on Fab ..
My wife likes to stay at home; she is hugely introverted.
Could not fuck my friends, do give Reiki, Reflexology or a massage to them; they are well fit but for me they feel like family if that makes any sense?
There is plenty left for Fab, I can't bonk my mates!
Thank you for your thoughts, I am just trying to work out what is going on with me.
I think we’re all trying to work out what’s going on with you…"
Really ? Have another of them title of the thread, it explains it very well |
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By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
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You aren't being unrealistic but you are on here and married. Even with your partners permission it is still off putting to many I'm afraid.
There are plenty of ladies here looking for NSA encounters however. You just have to be very very patient.
Your opening post is a little braggy thougj OP. |
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By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
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"You aren't being unrealistic but you are on here and married. Even with your partners permission it is still off putting to many I'm afraid.
There are plenty of ladies here looking for NSA encounters however. You just have to be very very patient.
Your opening post is a little braggy thougj OP."
100% agree! I don’t like drama or have time for emotional attachment but would hate to be playing g with a married man, just my preference, if your marriage isn’t working sort it out or leave rather than pursuing sex and sexual connection elsewhere, no one wants an angry wife on their doorstep |
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Something doesn’t add up…
Most people are thinking the same - if you have all these women throwing themselves at you surely not all want a relationship.
Your wife could easily confirm that you can have fun with her consent. Yet she doesn’t or you don’t think to ask 🤔
On here, people who sell themselves do well - people who don’t make much effort don’t. Your profile doesn’t sell you at all.
However if I was that much of a magnet outside of here, I would be getting my wife to have a word with all these women to explain the situation…👀
K |
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"Married! Fab not going too well :D
I am married, get hit on in real life a lot but push it away as not interested in emotional connections.
Don’t want a relationship as I am lucky to have have a few platonic girlfriends for dates and holidays – and we are close and great mates.
Had a FWB on Tinder last year till she wanted a b/f and that was not for me at the time.
Had paid Fab till recently, also paid Tinder, wife is totally okay with all of this.
Am I being unrealistic?"
If your being hit on a lot in life take the hits don't waste your time here . Hope this helped . |
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"Let me get this right - you get hit on left, right and centre by all these gorgeous women who you can’t fuck because you are in a relationship and they will only fuck you if you have a relationship with them which puts an end to all the action. Therefore you thought you would
come to fab because all everyone does on here is fuck like rabbits and there is no chance of anyone even considering asking for a relationship but now you can’t find anyone to fuck you despite the fact that elsewhere you are babe magnet.
Have I understood correctly?"
PMSL🤣🤣🤣 |
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There's plenty of women on fab who will say they prefer their men married and playing with permission because it makes things easier with less risk of emotional attachment becoming a problem
I don't think you are being unrealistic at all OP. You're in the right place. Or one of them anyway. No reason to limit yourself to fab.
Also appreciate your thick skin, good humour and communication skills. Not being baited into a defensive position is an important fab skill if your a man who's gonna ask a question about how to get what you want in the forum. |
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"There's plenty of women on fab who will say they prefer their men married and playing with permission because it makes things easier with less risk of emotional attachment becoming a problem
I don't think you are being unrealistic at all OP. You're in the right place. Or one of them anyway. No reason to limit yourself to fab.
Also appreciate your thick skin, good humour and communication skills. Not being baited into a defensive position is an important fab skill if your a man who's gonna ask a question about how to get what you want in the forum."
I agree.
Also if a woman had posted a similar thing I'm willing to bet a very small bag of Haribo that the responses would have been very different. Along the lines of 'you hold out for what you want babe ' along with several offers of exactly what she was asking for. |
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Thank you to you all for the personal stories, the insights, the kind words, the other words, the questions, the advice, the feedback, and the support
Every reply was appreciated, and in fairness some more than others but that's half the fun isn't it?
Will sign off for this evening to say Happy Fabbing, may your Inbox be bursting with opportunities, and your newly sent messages not deleted without a reply |
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"I’ve read this twice and I’m so confused.
Perhaps this was the wrong time for me to come back into the forum "
•
@LB, this is one of those rare situations where I'm experiencing 'thread regret'. I wish I hadn't posted on here (higher up) because it remains on my list of 'subscribed threads'. 🫤 |
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"Yes I think you are being unrealistic.
You say you have a wife, platonic girlfriends for dates and holidays..why don't you fuck all of them. There's nothing left for any female you meet on Fab ..
"
Perfectly stated ..the truth hurts sone people... |
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"There's plenty of women on fab who will say they prefer their men married and playing with permission because it makes things easier with less risk of emotional attachment becoming a problem
I don't think you are being unrealistic at all OP. You're in the right place. Or one of them anyway. No reason to limit yourself to fab.
Also appreciate your thick skin, good humour and communication skills. Not being baited into a defensive position is an important fab skill if your a man who's gonna ask a question about how to get what you want in the forum."
Nailed it
Personally I would not mix fab and non fab. I would never agree for a woman to confirm I have ‘permission’ talking to another partner. If she needs that level of assurance she’s not my type.
Women on fab can be more cynical and suspicious of guys with multiple partners.
Your profile here maybe needs to take that into account , but if you show your face , give your number out and can accommodate etc people usually trust you’re properly available and telling the truth |
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"There's plenty of women on fab who will say they prefer their men married and playing with permission because it makes things easier with less risk of emotional attachment becoming a problem
I don't think you are being unrealistic at all OP. You're in the right place. Or one of them anyway. No reason to limit yourself to fab.
Also appreciate your thick skin, good humour and communication skills. Not being baited into a defensive position is an important fab skill if your a man who's gonna ask a question about how to get what you want in the forum.
Nailed it
Personally I would not mix fab and non fab. I would never agree for a woman to confirm I have ‘permission’ talking to another partner. If she needs that level of assurance she’s not my type.
Women on fab can be more cynical and suspicious of guys with multiple partners.
Your profile here maybe needs to take that into account , but if you show your face , give your number out and can accommodate etc people usually trust you’re properly available and telling the truth "
I genrally agree with both the above sentiments. I think in general if you're going to reply on forums you should from a point of veiw of taking the poster at face value. Unless so blatantly iffy, which I don't think is especially with the content of the profile and what's been said.
Anyways as to advise. First I'd say understand fab may not be the best place and manage your expectations on here. As a couple over the years 95-99% of the sexual encounters we've had have started in clubs, parties or just people we've bumped into out in pubs/bars or on holiday. Also when I was a single dad I was looking to hook up rather than date. I got far more action for hook ups (and a couple of fwb) through through popular dating sites than on fab. Mainly because there are a lot of women looking for no strings who don't identity as swingers or have any desire to be on a swingers site. Personally I found this site more for my interest in the scene and events rather than a hook up site per se.
So totally get the level of intrest different in the real world than on this site. We find it far easier and more intrest in the real world than on here (as explained above). The main thing is your honest with your background and what you want. But naturally you must understand that's not what too many people want or to be involved in.
Personally I would say curb your expectations across every plain. You can't take your initial success in the real world as a gauge of your success because ultimately in in the real world it don't work due to your limitations and wanting different things. Basically for most across all plains you're a hard sell despite all you've got going for you due to your circumstances. Its just not a situation that most women want. And that is what it is. That's not to say there aren't the right people out there. You know this from your own previous experiences. However despite fab seeming good on paper it may not be the best place. Especially if you're not going to participate in the wider scene or events. My advise would be limit your expectations and cast your net wide. Get out there on all the different sites and the real world. What you look for is out there, just maybe not in the quantity you were expecting or you'd like.
Mr |
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