FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > 0% interest in myself on here
0% interest in myself on here
Jump to: Newest in thread
Hey all. I am new to the site and this whole thing. I have been a member for a while. I have messaged women i like, I've been respectful and polite and had 0 responses and apparently not one woman on here is interested in me. I think i am a good 5 maybe a 6 but to get no interest at all am i doing something wrong? Any pointers will be of great value. Thanks all |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
OP, women will often look at the sender's profile before opening their message, if at all. If the profile doesn't appeal to them they will quite likely bypass your message altogether or simply delete it. (We can safely assume they don't find your profile appealing)
The ratio between men and women is prohibitively huge - women are inundated with messages, numbering hundreds and hundreds...
Attending group socials or clubs will help in your quest, whatever that is. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hey all. I am new to the site and this whole thing. I have been a member for a while. I have messaged women i like, I've been respectful and polite and had 0 responses and apparently not one woman on here is interested in me. I think i am a good 5 maybe a 6 but to get no interest at all am i doing something wrong? Any pointers will be of great value. Thanks all"
give up or go to a swingers club for verification. I think the verification is the biggest hurdle and then their's the problem that you say you're a 6 and as you know men will have sex with anything so even if the men are a 9 they will still have sex with a 5. Moral of the story is competition is high so unless you're 6ft and above, six pack with an 8 inch girthy wood, you'll find it hard mate
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Here's the thing bud.
The site is 75% single male and the single women are being pursued by all the men and the couples as well.
On top of that (and there are numerous scientific studies to back me up here) the average woman finds the average man unattractive.
Ergo the it does not matter how nice and polite your messages are, if one of the other guys in her inbox is better looking and sending the same sort of messages, he's the one she's giving her time to.
This is why Fab won't work for many men and why online dating as a whole is starting to implode (yes I know fab isn't a dating site but the principle is the same and before anyone claims otherwise about dating sites, go look at how badly their share prices and user bases have collapsed).
For what it's worth I get no inteeat on Fab either and that's on this account and my wife and I's account.
But stick me in a club, different kettle.of fish. All the other factors come in. How I'm dressed, how i smell, my banter, personality, sense of humour, confidence etc etc.
In that environment I accriqlly get pursued and have women coming onto me.
It's just how basic attraction works. Photos, a written profile amd a polite message won't cut it for a lot of guys...
So..I don't know what you're looking for exactly but if Fab ain't working, you need to try something else. Again, I've been here on and off for 12 years and it has not gotten me any meets on this account. They all come from social events or clubs.
Go back to the old ways. Meet those ladies in the wild and talk to them. If your good with the banter and polite enough..you'll get there.
Good luck.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"...give up or go to a swingers club for verification. I think the verification is the biggest hurdle and then their's the problem that you say you're a 6 and as you know men will have sex with anything so even if the men are a 9 they will still have sex with a 5. Moral of the story is competition is high so unless you're 6ft and above, six pack with an 8 inch girthy wood, you'll find it hard mate "
•
Thank goodness you don't work for the Samaritans™. 🫤
I've seen more inaccuracies in your remark than in a political manifesto. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Mate, I’ll be so real- don’t give it headspace. We’re all in the same boat. Just hang out in the forums. They only care about personality in here. "
That’s me fucked then.
Or that’s me greatly frustrated by the social expectations in the forum.
Either. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *ady LickWoman 15 weeks ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"Your profile states everything you want, but doesn't say anything about you or what you have to offer."
A bit of this. Can't see too much wrong with your profile you're tall, able to accommodate. Maybe put your cock pic in friends and get an arse pic on, and maybe a suity b&w pic for example. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I had a very brief look at your profile. This is my opinion only and other women may disagree.
I am not totally put off by the dick pic, but I’d rather it wasn’t there.. dick pics do nothing for me and if I wanted to see it I’d rather that was in person!
Your profile blurb doesn’t say a lot and reads more like a “dating site” profile, which fab is not. So I’d say if you are looking for a “proper girlfriend/partner” you’d be better off on a traditional dating site rather than a sex site like this one.
Maybe make your profile blurb a bit more relaxed and easy going and some details about what you are into and what you like doing.
But generally I think it’s just really really difficult for men on here and don’t be too disheartened as it’s probably not you or anything you have done wrong.
I’d rate you more of a 7/10 than a 5… so don’t put yourself down.
Good luck finding what you are looking for…
Attend some socials and get verified… that’s going to give you a better chance.
Honey |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Your profile states everything you want, but doesn't say anything about you or what you have to offer.
A bit of this. Can't see too much wrong with your profile you're tall, able to accommodate. Maybe put your cock pic in friends and get an arse pic on, and maybe a suity b&w pic for example."
Yes, I agree with the black and white suited pic… they hook me in every time!! Ha ha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I had a very brief look at your profile. This is my opinion only and other women may disagree.
I am not totally put off by the dick pic, but I’d rather it wasn’t there.. dick pics do nothing for me and if I wanted to see it I’d rather that was in person!
Your profile blurb doesn’t say a lot and reads more like a “dating site” profile, which fab is not. So I’d say if you are looking for a “proper girlfriend/partner” you’d be better off on a traditional dating site rather than a sex site like this one.
Maybe make your profile blurb a bit more relaxed and easy going and some details about what you are into and what you like doing.
But generally I think it’s just really really difficult for men on here and don’t be too disheartened as it’s probably not you or anything you have done wrong.
I’d rate you more of a 7/10 than a 5… so don’t put yourself down.
Good luck finding what you are looking for…
Attend some socials and get verified… that’s going to give you a better chance.
Honey"
It feels a bit too sexual for a dating site?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I had a very brief look at your profile. This is my opinion only and other women may disagree.
I am not totally put off by the dick pic, but I’d rather it wasn’t there.. dick pics do nothing for me and if I wanted to see it I’d rather that was in person!
Your profile blurb doesn’t say a lot and reads more like a “dating site” profile, which fab is not. So I’d say if you are looking for a “proper girlfriend/partner” you’d be better off on a traditional dating site rather than a sex site like this one.
Maybe make your profile blurb a bit more relaxed and easy going and some details about what you are into and what you like doing.
But generally I think it’s just really really difficult for men on here and don’t be too disheartened as it’s probably not you or anything you have done wrong.
I’d rate you more of a 7/10 than a 5… so don’t put yourself down.
Good luck finding what you are looking for…
Attend some socials and get verified… that’s going to give you a better chance.
Honey
It feels a bit too sexual for a dating site?
"
He has changed it since I read it the first time. The original was about wanting to find someone loyal and loving. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Your profile is fine. Don’t like the gentleman bit at the end as it’s a bit like we don’t bite but only if you want us to. Just our preference but overall it’s a good profile"
ok thanks for the input. I will remove
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Your new bio seems the complete opposite from your original one?
Do you know what you're looking for OP? 🤔"
Yeah, I agree. Total change! Now I am not sure what he is looking for, originally gave the impression he wanted a long term partner, new one sounds like he wants wild sex hook ups! Ha ha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *agic.MMan 15 weeks ago
Orpington |
"Your new bio seems the complete opposite from your original one?
Do you know what you're looking for OP? 🤔"
He's bombarded with dozens of comments with conflicting information about what to do and not do regarding his profile...it can get confusing for anyone |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Your new bio seems the complete opposite from your original one?
Do you know what you're looking for OP? 🤔
He's bombarded with dozens of comments with conflicting information about what to do and not do regarding his profile...it can get confusing for anyone "
Best advice given is to go to a club or a social event as it’s far easier than on here. If he has a nice personality then he’ll have success in clubs. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Your new bio seems the complete opposite from your original one?
Do you know what you're looking for OP? 🤔
He's bombarded with dozens of comments with conflicting information about what to do and not do regarding his profile...it can get confusing for anyone "
I totally get that  but unless he knows himself what he's looking for, it's not going to help him at all.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Don’t need to remove it as it’s only one opinion. Be yourself and if that’s what you want to say then keep it. Other people might like it "
i was married for 19 years until 3 years ago so online dating wasn't a thing so im having to learn the modern way hahahahahaha
All advice is listened to, taken on board and i will use what i think is best to show who i am, what i stand for and believe in while staying true to myself x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ib.Man 15 weeks ago
Hampshire |
" i was married for 19 years until 3 years ago so online dating wasn't a thing so im having to learn the modern way hahahahahaha"
It's pretty rough out there - don't take it personally. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Don’t need to remove it as it’s only one opinion. Be yourself and if that’s what you want to say then keep it. Other people might like it i was married for 19 years until 3 years ago so online dating wasn't a thing so im having to learn the modern way hahahahahaha
All advice is listened to, taken on board and i will use what i think is best to show who i am, what i stand for and believe in while staying true to myself x"
Awesome |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
OK, ignore what people are saying about your profile and write what YOU want from this website. That usually works. And then focus on likes and dislikes. What you are looking for and so on.
I find most women want to see what you are packing so I'd include cock and arse. Maybe a few pics of you fucking. The ladies want to see you in action so get some content up.
Try a few socials and organised parties. Maybe approach actual women in pubs and coffee shops. I really think regular dating works best for you.
Btw you've only been on the site 5 months you are a fab pup. And you're looking for FF? Mate try pulling one F first. 
You've ruled out MFs?
Anyways, ignore everything I've said and try to enjoy yourself on here. Its a very artificial environment. Dont take any of this seriously. Approach your account like a portal of fun. Go out there and express yourself. And remember you dont have to take on board any of this. I stopped messaging people on here about 2 years ago.
PS try dogging and you really need to accommodate but like I said ignore everything first. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Your body looks more of the low 40s your picture upset 50s.. nothing wrong with over 50 but maybe a more flattering picture. Love your profile so wouldn't too much change that. I disagree with it sounding wife hunting and I disagree with you needing to be an Adonis..
some of us still prefer a gentleman who knows when to be a lion in bed. Doesn't mean we want a ring |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *agic.MMan 15 weeks ago
Orpington |
"Your new bio seems the complete opposite from your original one?
Do you know what you're looking for OP? 🤔
He's bombarded with dozens of comments with conflicting information about what to do and not do regarding his profile...it can get confusing for anyone
Best advice given is to go to a club or a social event as it’s far easier than on here. If he has a nice personality then he’ll have success in clubs. "
Going to a club by yourself (especially if you just entered the community) is probably the most nerve racking, anxiety inducing and intimidating thing you could do...and regardless if you have nice personality or not, it is not a guarantee you'll have a good time or make any friends. I personally don't see it as the best advice |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Your new bio seems the complete opposite from your original one?
Do you know what you're looking for OP? 🤔
He's bombarded with dozens of comments with conflicting information about what to do and not do regarding his profile...it can get confusing for anyone
Best advice given is to go to a club or a social event as it’s far easier than on here. If he has a nice personality then he’ll have success in clubs.
Going to a club by yourself (especially if you just entered the community) is probably the most nerve racking, anxiety inducing and intimidating thing you could do...and regardless if you have nice personality or not, it is not a guarantee you'll have a good time or make any friends. I personally don't see it as the best advice "
Yeah I get that. Maybe a social event then |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Your new bio seems the complete opposite from your original one?
Do you know what you're looking for OP? 🤔
He's bombarded with dozens of comments with conflicting information about what to do and not do regarding his profile...it can get confusing for anyone
Best advice given is to go to a club or a social event as it’s far easier than on here. If he has a nice personality then he’ll have success in clubs.
Going to a club by yourself (especially if you just entered the community) is probably the most nerve racking, anxiety inducing and intimidating thing you could do...and regardless if you have nice personality or not, it is not a guarantee you'll have a good time or make any friends. I personally don't see it as the best advice "
It's only intimidating because most expect to fuck Vs going to get familiar and seeing how reality works. If you go to a car dealership and expect to get ripped off and be intimidated by the shiny new cars you will be, if you go to see what's available you won't be disappointed.. clubs are the same |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"OK, ignore what people are saying about your profile and write what YOU want from this website. That usually works. And then focus on likes and dislikes. What you are looking for and so on.
I find most women want to see what you are packing so I'd include cock and arse. Maybe a few pics of you fucking. The ladies want to see you in action so get some content up.
Try a few socials and organised parties. Maybe approach actual women in pubs and coffee shops. I really think regular dating works best for you.
Btw you've only been on the site 5 months you are a fab pup. And you're looking for FF? Mate try pulling one F first.
You've ruled out MFs?
Anyways, ignore everything I've said and try to enjoy yourself on here. Its a very artificial environment. Dont take any of this seriously. Approach your account like a portal of fun. Go out there and express yourself. And remember you dont have to take on board any of this. I stopped messaging people on here about 2 years ago.
PS try dogging and you really need to accommodate but like I said ignore everything first. "
I disagree about women wanting to see “what you’re packing”
I know I am only one woman, but personally I find dick pics off putting, and when I come across a profile with loads of dick pics I always delete. I don’t mind a bum pic or a nice chest pic, but the MOST important is a nice smile and eyes!! The good thing about this guy is he’s not afraid to show his face and he does have a lovely friendly looking face.
I also do NOT want to see pics of a guy “in action” because that inevitably will show other women (who may not have given consent for their photos to be shared) and the first thing I am going to do is compare myself to that woman, and if she isn’t like me, I’ll assume I wouldn’t be his type. Those sort of photos should be kept to friends only.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *agic.MMan 15 weeks ago
Orpington |
"Your new bio seems the complete opposite from your original one?
Do you know what you're looking for OP? 🤔
He's bombarded with dozens of comments with conflicting information about what to do and not do regarding his profile...it can get confusing for anyone
Best advice given is to go to a club or a social event as it’s far easier than on here. If he has a nice personality then he’ll have success in clubs.
Going to a club by yourself (especially if you just entered the community) is probably the most nerve racking, anxiety inducing and intimidating thing you could do...and regardless if you have nice personality or not, it is not a guarantee you'll have a good time or make any friends. I personally don't see it as the best advice
It's only intimidating because most expect to fuck Vs going to get familiar and seeing how reality works. If you go to a car dealership and expect to get ripped off and be intimidated by the shiny new cars you will be, if you go to see what's available you won't be disappointed.. clubs are the same"
Apologies, I don't get the car sale analogy...I'm not sure if people go to these clubs with the expectations to have sex or not, but it is no different to going to a regular club or pub or party by yourself...you enter a social environment where you don't know anyone and most people there, are within a group of friends making it ten times easier for them to interact and socialise. Forget the sex stuff...just befriending someone in a social environment is extremely difficult if you don't have a friend/acquaintance to introduce you to other people. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
OP, there's a lot of conflated and confusing information on here which isn't helping.
Focus on the advice given to you by Honey Honey (which encompasses most best practices that should be followed on here); she has been thorough with all the useful pointers which should give you a flying start. ☮️
Then trawl through the forums and get a 'look and feel' from some of the other male profiles on here, a general idea of what looks more acceptable than not.
The profile isn't your panacea — attend some socials and/or clubs and build your network. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The profile isn't your panacea — attend some socials and/or clubs and build your network. "
Over the long term the network is the key. I know it doesn’t help now OP but it does get easier if you can build those contacts.
Too many people mess it up in the early days by doing a no show when they finally get a meet/social and you will really damage your chances of building network. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *agic.MMan 15 weeks ago
Orpington |
OP, if I am to give you one practical advice is this ..."one man's food is another man's poison " - by that I mean that just because something works for X or Y, it doesn't necessarily mean it will work for you as well. People will give you advice based on their experience...and they will give you that advice because that's what worked or works for them - take it with a grain of salt and keep in mind that it might or might not work for you in the same manner. It takes a bit of time to learn the ins and outs of fab, and it is a bit of a trial of errors, so just be patient 🙏...in time you'll get to understand the fab community better and you'll understand what best works for you 😉👌 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *AYENCouple 15 weeks ago
Lincolnshire |
Some years back someone likened Fabs to a FREE car hire company for women. The Mercedes, BMWs and Rolls Royces were popular, the Skodas and Fords not so. So if you're not a 'premium brand' stick to meeting women in real life. K. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 15 weeks ago
|
"OP, if I am to give you one practical advice is this ..."one man's food is another man's poison " - by that I mean that just because something works for X or Y, it doesn't necessarily mean it will work for you as well. People will give you advice based on their experience...and they will give you that advice because that's what worked or works for them - take it with a grain of salt and keep in mind that it might or might not work for you in the same manner. It takes a bit of time to learn the ins and outs of fab, and it is a bit of a trial of errors, so just be patient 🙏...in time you'll get to understand the fab community better and you'll understand what best works for you 😉👌"
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 15 weeks ago
|
"OP, there's a lot of conflated and confusing information on here which isn't helping.
Focus on the advice given to you by Honey Honey (which encompasses most best practices that should be followed on here); she has been thorough with all the useful pointers which should give you a flying start. ☮️
Then trawl through the forums and get a 'look and feel' from some of the other male profiles on here, a general idea of what looks more acceptable than not.
The profile isn't your panacea — attend some socials and/or clubs and build your network. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I've tried messaging, being on the forum, clubs and social events.
The forum and daytime social events have worked best for me.
I know guys with low effort profiles that do well because they write great messages.
Play to your strengths |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hey all. I am new to the site and this whole thing. I have been a member for a while. I have messaged women i like, I've been respectful and polite and had 0 responses and apparently not one woman on here is interested in me. I think i am a good 5 maybe a 6 but to get no interest at all am i doing something wrong? Any pointers will be of great value. Thanks all give up or go to a swingers club for verification. I think the verification is the biggest hurdle and then their's the problem that you say you're a 6 and as you know men will have sex with anything so even if the men are a 9 they will still have sex with a 5. Moral of the story is competition is high so unless you're 6ft and above, six pack with an 8 inch girthy wood, you'll find it hard mate "
Not at all true. I guess it’s easy to blame lack of success on things out of one’s control. Have a look at the veris of the wonderful chaps we have met. All of whom are nothing like what you describe.
Those who do fit the manosphere stereotype described NEVER show up and cancel/no-show/ghost after confirmation.
It’s happened in such numbers that it is more than an occurrence, it’s a distinct trend. So much so we don’t accept meets from them as it’s always a waste of our time.
Be yourself, improve the photos, and attend socials/clubs and consider group meets. It’s a good way to get started. Remember it is predominantly a swinger site, not a sex site. So those treating it as the latter are often disappointed when they first join. Other casual sex apps are better for that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
OP as a man from the same area of the UK as yourself I've 3 bits of advice (you're profile is all good in my opinion).
1) it takes time sadly, you'll send a lot of messages and get zero replies. Think of it as a job application in that you'll send loads out and get very few replies, that's life.
2) I've found posting on the forums gets you seen a bit more as well, you'll find the guys on here are mostly not looking for a quick shag plus you can socialise with others
3) as soon as you're not enjoying being on here have a break, don't put pressure on yourself.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If you truly think that you are giving you at your best, via your profile and messages, then you can only supplement it via going to socials and clubs.
Keep assessing whether your profile photos show a woman what she needs, to know whether she fancies you
But overall, it's probably less than 1% of people who are mutually compatible. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hey all. I am new to the site and this whole thing. I have been a member for a while. I have messaged women i like, I've been respectful and polite and had 0 responses and apparently not one woman on here is interested in me. I think i am a good 5 maybe a 6 but to get no interest at all am i doing something wrong? Any pointers will be of great value. Thanks all"
No, you're not alone at all. Most women on this site are absolutely plagued with messages, think email spam account levels. 100s if not 1000s. Getting through to someone is kind of a lottery in itself. I don't really bother anymore, but yes when a woman does message first it's very appreciated! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
