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Condom Etiquette

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…

I am at a loose end and deep in meditative thoughts.

It popped up in my tiny little brain, what is everyone’s etiquette when it comes to strapping it up?

I hate putting a condom on myself as it breaks the flow and i prefer it when the Lady slides it on for me (she can also check it’s safely on to her liking as well aa being sensual).

Pulling out, well holding onto to it is a given but do you tie it up or just wrap it in a tissue and throw it in the bin?

I have to admit a bit of both.

So good people of the forum and even you rogues what is your etiquette when it comes to dealing with your sheath?

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By *mf123Man 9 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

I found putting a dog shit bag on while its floppy pre meet helps it grow into it naturally

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"I found putting a dog shit bag on while its floppy pre meet helps it grow into it naturally "

Definitely a novel idea and i think you should write an instruction manual on this very unique technique and it’s results from both parties.

Very interesting 🤔

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By *mmaleiaWoman 9 weeks ago

East Northamptonshire


"I found putting a dog shit bag on while its floppy pre meet helps it grow into it naturally "

The scented or unscientific bags though?

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By *mmaleiaWoman 9 weeks ago

East Northamptonshire


"I found putting a dog shit bag on while its floppy pre meet helps it grow into it naturally

The scented or unscientific bags though?"

Ffs un scented

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"I found putting a dog shit bag on while its floppy pre meet helps it grow into it naturally

The scented or unscientific bags though?"

I have a feeling he even has flavoured ones 😂

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By *mf123Man 9 weeks ago

with one foot out the door


"I found putting a dog shit bag on while its floppy pre meet helps it grow into it naturally

The scented or unscientific bags though?

I have a feeling he even has flavoured ones 😂"

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman 9 weeks ago

Essex

Thanks for this thread. I now neither want to eat or fuck.

I’ll be skinny in weeks. And save a fortune on hotels & lingerie.

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By *he Silver FuxMan 9 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

Top tip for those cocks that droop / lose interest with condom use. Put it on a bit before the time it’ll be needed in action, then masturbate with it on.. you’ll be raring..

I always make sure it comes out with my cock, nothing less sexy than having to root around for it after being MIA

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By *mf123Man 9 weeks ago

with one foot out the door


"Top tip for those cocks that droop / lose interest with condom use. Put it on a bit before the time it’ll be needed in action, then masturbate with it on.. you’ll be raring..

I always make sure it comes out with my cock, nothing less sexy than having to root around for it after being MIA"

prit stick on the inside of it also helps

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Thanks for this thread. I now neither want to eat or fuck.

I’ll be skinny in weeks. And save a fortune on hotels & lingerie.

"

You’re welcome as long as I don’t get a bill for your therapy sessions 😂

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Top tip for those cocks that droop / lose interest with condom use. Put it on a bit before the time it’ll be needed in action, then masturbate with it on.. you’ll be raring..

I always make sure it comes out with my cock, nothing less sexy than having to root around for it after being MIA"

An MIA is better than a KIA i suppose 😂

Thanks for the image of you rummaging around your partners lady parts for a lost rubber!!

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By *he Silver FuxMan 9 weeks ago

Uttoxeter


"Top tip for those cocks that droop / lose interest with condom use. Put it on a bit before the time it’ll be needed in action, then masturbate with it on.. you’ll be raring..

I always make sure it comes out with my cock, nothing less sexy than having to root around for it after being MIA

An MIA is better than a KIA i suppose 😂

Thanks for the image of you rummaging around your partners lady parts for a lost rubber!! "

Weird isn’t it - finger banging and searching for that G spot? Sexy!

Probing around for a condom? Not sexy

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Top tip for those cocks that droop / lose interest with condom use. Put it on a bit before the time it’ll be needed in action, then masturbate with it on.. you’ll be raring..

I always make sure it comes out with my cock, nothing less sexy than having to root around for it after being MIA

An MIA is better than a KIA i suppose 😂

Thanks for the image of you rummaging around your partners lady parts for a lost rubber!!

Weird isn’t it - finger banging and searching for that G spot? Sexy!

Probing around for a condom? Not sexy"

Well it could be worse, imagine if you have someone who likes f*sting and you lost your watch!!

Just a tip if you feel a texture like the rough part of a sponge you have the G soot…. you’re searching days will be over 😉😂

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By *he Silver FuxMan 9 weeks ago

Uttoxeter


"Top tip for those cocks that droop / lose interest with condom use. Put it on a bit before the time it’ll be needed in action, then masturbate with it on.. you’ll be raring..

I always make sure it comes out with my cock, nothing less sexy than having to root around for it after being MIA

An MIA is better than a KIA i suppose 😂

Thanks for the image of you rummaging around your partners lady parts for a lost rubber!!

Weird isn’t it - finger banging and searching for that G spot? Sexy!

Probing around for a condom? Not sexy

Well it could be worse, imagine if you have someone who likes f*sting and you lost your watch!!

Just a tip if you feel a texture like the rough part of a sponge you have the G soot…. you’re searching days will be over 😉😂"

Some are like the serrated roof of a mouth IYKYK

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman 9 weeks ago

Essex

….. and in next weeks edition of Dear Deidre….

How to repair watches

(And vaginal walls)

🤣🤣

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By *heBelladonnaWoman 9 weeks ago

A dazzling place you never knew

I don’t want to see it full of man milk in the end.

I roll over, close my eyes, and hope he gets the hint to dispose of it and wash his hands. Thoroughly.

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By *eordieJeansCouple 9 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

I can’t speak for the women of the forums but in the real world I’ve found most women are terrible at putting condoms on. Apart from a dodgy batch once I don’t think I’ve had a single break when I’ve put it on myself.

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By *tticusukMan 9 weeks ago

Formby


"I am at a loose end and deep in meditative thoughts.

It popped up in my tiny little brain, what is everyone’s etiquette when it comes to strapping it up?

I hate putting a condom on myself as it breaks the flow and i prefer it when the Lady slides it on for me (she can also check it’s safely on to her liking as well aa being sensual).

Pulling out, well holding onto to it is a given but do you tie it up or just wrap it in a tissue and throw it in the bin?

I have to admit a bit of both.

So good people of the forum and even you rogues what is your etiquette when it comes to dealing with your sheath?"

Never get this breaking the flow line.

It takes less than 60 seconds to put a condom on. If you can’t stay in the flow whilst doing that I’m sorry but there is something wrong.

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By *illy IdolMan 9 weeks ago

Midlands


"Top tip for those cocks that droop / lose interest with condom use. Put it on a bit before the time it’ll be needed in action, then masturbate with it on.. you’ll be raring..

I always make sure it comes out with my cock, nothing less sexy than having to root around for it after being MIA"

Are you suggesting turning up ready to go?

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple 9 weeks ago

Lincoln

I like to tie a knot in it, wrap it up in tissue, then take it home for an extra boost to my protein shake the next day 💪😎

LvM

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By *he Silver FuxMan 9 weeks ago

Uttoxeter


"I don’t want to see it full of man milk in the end.

I roll over, close my eyes, and hope he gets the hint to dispose of it and wash his hands. Thoroughly. "

A gentleman knows… and will also wash his cock with soap too… One must always consider the next blow job

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By *he Silver FuxMan 9 weeks ago

Uttoxeter


"Top tip for those cocks that droop / lose interest with condom use. Put it on a bit before the time it’ll be needed in action, then masturbate with it on.. you’ll be raring..

I always make sure it comes out with my cock, nothing less sexy than having to root around for it after being MIA

Are you suggesting turning up ready to go?"

Hello. You’re nice.

Fancy a fuck?

You DO!

Well.. Ta-Dah! I’m ready

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By *illy IdolMan 9 weeks ago

Midlands


"Top tip for those cocks that droop / lose interest with condom use. Put it on a bit before the time it’ll be needed in action, then masturbate with it on.. you’ll be raring..

I always make sure it comes out with my cock, nothing less sexy than having to root around for it after being MIA

Are you suggesting turning up ready to go?

Hello. You’re nice.

Fancy a fuck?

You DO!

Well.. Ta-Dah! I’m ready"

it's like the boy who wore his shinpads to school, ready for his breaktime scrap🥊

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple 9 weeks ago

Coventry

I really don't think there's much to etiquette to be honest. Apart from demonstrating your attitude and competence. We're swingers, it not an awkward thing or an elephant in the room. People just want you to clearly demonstrate that you are taking care of safety and your own.

Personally I just put it on in front of them. I don't need someone to put it on for me I just need everyone to be satisfied it's on OK. I think the majority of women just prefer to see a man put it on correctly with competence. Although if a woman requested to put it on I'd let her. But I'd never ask a woman to put it on, I'm a big boy.

Likewise with disposal no need to hide it or be mysterious with it. Just clearly dispose of it properly and transparently in a suitable bin.

Mr

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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago


"I am at a loose end and deep in meditative thoughts.

It popped up in my tiny little brain, what is everyone’s etiquette when it comes to strapping it up?

I hate putting a condom on myself as it breaks the flow and i prefer it when the Lady slides it on for me (she can also check it’s safely on to her liking as well aa being sensual).

Pulling out, well holding onto to it is a given but do you tie it up or just wrap it in a tissue and throw it in the bin?

I have to admit a bit of both.

So good people of the forum and even you rogues what is your etiquette when it comes to dealing with your sheath?

Never get this breaking the flow line.

It takes less than 60 seconds to put a condom on. If you can’t stay in the flow whilst doing that I’m sorry but there is something wrong."

Absolutely this. I'm far from a goddess myself and have had lovers everywhere from "cross the street to avoid" to "watch me melt with eye contact over a decade later" on the "would shag again" scale. Not one, ever, has been phased by condom application. And I rock up with girl ones by default

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By *hil most chillMan 9 weeks ago

South East & Europe

I always apply the condom myself, as most women I've met aren't that good at it. They're usually too concerned with not hurting you, or they try and roll it from the top and it gets caught where the foreskin gathers under the helmet... Whatever, I've found it's way smoother when I do it - boom it's on in seconds and we're back at it with minimal awkwardness

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By *adyBugsWoman 9 weeks ago

cognito

I find it sexy watching you put one on, safe consensual sex is hot as fuck.

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By *nickeringWoman 9 weeks ago

Coleshill

making notes !!!!!

and laughing

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By *ensuallover1000Man 9 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

After use, a condom can be fired off most pleasingly in a manner like an elastic band.

I always like to aim for a window whereupon a skilled shot will produce an effect like one of those sticky toys that roll down the glass (leaving a slug like trail behind it in this case) 👍🏻

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By *elix SightedMan 9 weeks ago

Cloud 8


"After use, a condom can be fired off most pleasingly in a manner like an elastic band.

I always like to aim for a window whereupon a skilled shot will produce an effect like one of those sticky toys that roll down the glass (leaving a slug like trail behind it in this case) 👍🏻"

Dammit you beat me to this! I’m more of a celebratory lasso around my head with a loud “Yeeeeeehaaaaar”!! Then it gets flung at the wall. Points are awarded for suction longevity.

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By *ensuallover1000Man 9 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"After use, a condom can be fired off most pleasingly in a manner like an elastic band.

I always like to aim for a window whereupon a skilled shot will produce an effect like one of those sticky toys that roll down the glass (leaving a slug like trail behind it in this case) 👍🏻

Dammit you beat me to this! I’m more of a celebratory lasso around my head with a loud “Yeeeeeehaaaaar”!! Then it gets flung at the wall. Points are awarded for suction longevity. "

😂😂😂😂 Extra points for the audible volume of ‘splatting’ sound to.

It’s a true art it is 😜👍🏻👍🏻

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By *ripfillMan 9 weeks ago

havant

Please .. be aware of great care needed in their disposal … avoid at all costs see below

Rolling on it’s easy …

Taking off with a twang is satisfying however … beware of nosy friendly Labradors who will pick one up at try to make off with it …

Safe to say the outcum was saved in the end but the embarrassment was tangible ..

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Top tip for those cocks that droop / lose interest with condom use. Put it on a bit before the time it’ll be needed in action, then masturbate with it on.. you’ll be raring..

I always make sure it comes out with my cock, nothing less sexy than having to root around for it after being MIA

An MIA is better than a KIA i suppose 😂

Thanks for the image of you rummaging around your partners lady parts for a lost rubber!!

Weird isn’t it - finger banging and searching for that G spot? Sexy!

Probing around for a condom? Not sexy

Well it could be worse, imagine if you have someone who likes f*sting and you lost your watch!!

Just a tip if you feel a texture like the rough part of a sponge you have the G soot…. you’re searching days will be over 😉😂

Some are like the serrated roof of a mouth IYKYK

"

Jesus, if you’re a finger banger type of guy, your fingers must look like they have had a fight with a cheese grater!!

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By *enfleetMaleMan 9 weeks ago

Hadleigh

Staple mine to the wall like a trophy cabinet.

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"….. and in next weeks edition of Dear Deidre….

How to repair watches

(And vaginal walls)

🤣🤣"

I haven’t lost a watch yet….not being the kind if guy who does f*sting.

But it seems like you may have some pearls of wisdom to share.

I look forward to your Dear Misty thread 😉😊

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By *ouise 555Woman 9 weeks ago

dorchester

Oh my days i needed this tonight it's made me properly chuckle once I'm randy i rarely remember so always tell who I'm with it's there job!

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By *r John WickMan 9 weeks ago

The Continental

[Removed by poster at 16/09/24 21:29:19]

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By *r John WickMan 9 weeks ago

The Continental

Mine usually falls off somewhere between the bedroom and the taxi I’m sprinting towards. Once the goo has fired out the end, my attention span goes to zero.

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"I don’t want to see it full of man milk in the end.

I roll over, close my eyes, and hope he gets the hint to dispose of it and wash his hands. Thoroughly. "

😂😂😂

Of course you do Bella…you’re a Lady.

Next you will be telling me you vomit after sex and scrub the shame off 😉😂

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By *exycarlashane181Couple 9 weeks ago

Leamington Spa


"I am at a loose end and deep in meditative thoughts.

It popped up in my tiny little brain, what is everyone’s etiquette when it comes to strapping it up?

I hate putting a condom on myself as it breaks the flow and i prefer it when the Lady slides it on for me (she can also check it’s safely on to her liking as well aa being sensual).

Pulling out, well holding onto to it is a given but do you tie it up or just wrap it in a tissue and throw it in the bin?

I have to admit a bit of both.

So good people of the forum and even you rogues what is your etiquette when it comes to dealing with your sheath?"

When I used to put them on guys I used to do it with my mouth

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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago


"I am at a loose end and deep in meditative thoughts.

It popped up in my tiny little brain, what is everyone’s etiquette when it comes to strapping it up?

I hate putting a condom on myself as it breaks the flow and i prefer it when the Lady slides it on for me (she can also check it’s safely on to her liking as well aa being sensual).

Pulling out, well holding onto to it is a given but do you tie it up or just wrap it in a tissue and throw it in the bin?

I have to admit a bit of both.

So good people of the forum and even you rogues what is your etiquette when it comes to dealing with your sheath?"

It takes me 20, maybe 30 seconds to put it on. I usually keep it "within reach" of the bed already, so I don't have to go rummage around for it.

Never had an issue staying "in the zone" during this operation. If anything, the anticipation of the upcoming insertion makes me more aroused.

When finished, I usually quickly excuse myself to the bathroom and dispose of it (tie it and wrap it in a tissue, or just the latter if I'm lazy), then I wash my hands and groin thoroughly.

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"I can’t speak for the women of the forums but in the real world I’ve found most women are terrible at putting condoms on. Apart from a dodgy batch once I don’t think I’ve had a single break when I’ve put it on myself."

I have found most are pretty adept at slipping them on.

Some better than others and a few rare ones that can do it with their mouth!!

But I have had plenty who rather i do it so i guess they didn’t feel confident enough to do it.

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By *exycarlashane181Couple 9 weeks ago

Leamington Spa


"I can’t speak for the women of the forums but in the real world I’ve found most women are terrible at putting condoms on. Apart from a dodgy batch once I don’t think I’ve had a single break when I’ve put it on myself.

I have found most are pretty adept at slipping them on.

Some better than others and a few rare ones that can do it with their mouth!!

But I have had plenty who rather i do it so i guess they didn’t feel confident enough to do it."

I'm definitely one that used to put it on with my mouth. That was with my ex. Don't use them any more with my partner

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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago

The mouth thing used to be fun. You have me feeling nostalgic!

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By *enryMillsMan 9 weeks ago

wilmslow

If your Jonny is falling off during action u need a smaller Jonny or a thicker cock. I have never had a Jonny come off during sex. I have split a couple but they only slip off a pencil cock !!!

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Top tip for those cocks that droop / lose interest with condom use. Put it on a bit before the time it’ll be needed in action, then masturbate with it on.. you’ll be raring..

I always make sure it comes out with my cock, nothing less sexy than having to root around for it after being MIA

Are you suggesting turning up ready to go?"

In this day and age we need to time efficient.

Maybe he is onto something 🤔

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"I like to tie a knot in it, wrap it up in tissue, then take it home for an extra boost to my protein shake the next day 💪😎

LvM"

Mmm intriguing idea LvM as with above response, times are tough and we have to save money where we can.

Protein Shakes are not cheap and a bonus scoop for free sounds like a great idea.

Who knew when i started this thread i would get so many out of the box ideas!!!

Keep em cumming 😊

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By *illy IdolMan 9 weeks ago

Midlands


"Top tip for those cocks that droop / lose interest with condom use. Put it on a bit before the time it’ll be needed in action, then masturbate with it on.. you’ll be raring..

I always make sure it comes out with my cock, nothing less sexy than having to root around for it after being MIA

Are you suggesting turning up ready to go?

In this day and age we need to time efficient.

Maybe he is onto something 🤔"

Time is money, Swiss.

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Top tip for those cocks that droop / lose interest with condom use. Put it on a bit before the time it’ll be needed in action, then masturbate with it on.. you’ll be raring..

I always make sure it comes out with my cock, nothing less sexy than having to root around for it after being MIA

Are you suggesting turning up ready to go?

In this day and age we need to time efficient.

Maybe he is onto something 🤔

Time is money, Swiss."

Maybe we should start taking an egg timer, once it goes off….so do we.

Can’t be messing around in these tough economic times!!

I like your thinking Willy, maybe we need a brainstorming session 👍

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan 9 weeks ago

St Leonards

Quick rip and roll-on, rumpy-pump and a squirt, pull out, squeeze it over their back/tits/nostrils, and a final twang onto the curtains/window to see if it sticks.

It's like a silent witness to what went before - has a profound psychological post-coital effect.

The ladies love it, obvs .

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"I don’t want to see it full of man milk in the end.

I roll over, close my eyes, and hope he gets the hint to dispose of it and wash his hands. Thoroughly.

A gentleman knows… and will also wash his cock with soap too… One must always consider the next blow job"

Save time and bring wet wipes, you’re far to much of a Gentleman Mr Fox

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"I really don't think there's much to etiquette to be honest. Apart from demonstrating your attitude and competence. We're swingers, it not an awkward thing or an elephant in the room. People just want you to clearly demonstrate that you are taking care of safety and your own.

Personally I just put it on in front of them. I don't need someone to put it on for me I just need everyone to be satisfied it's on OK. I think the majority of women just prefer to see a man put it on correctly with competence. Although if a woman requested to put it on I'd let her. But I'd never ask a woman to put it on, I'm a big boy.

Likewise with disposal no need to hide it or be mysterious with it. Just clearly dispose of it properly and transparently in a suitable bin.

Mr"

A well thought out response and as such I will keep it serious (difficult for me)

I agree our sexual health is very important and showing you take it seriously is important in our community.

I am more than able to slip one as efficiently as possible but i do love it when my partner looks me in the eye while opening the wrapper before sliding it on for me.

It adds a little extra, now i have been lazy and if its my bin or one with a liner in.

I have held the top when pulling out after and threw it straight in the bin and then disposed of the bag.

But i do tie it off and dispose of it cleanly especially if in a club, hotel or their property.

Although the kid in me has had the urge throw it at the wall to see if i can make it stick 😱

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By *eroLondonMan 9 weeks ago

Covent Garden

I suspect that I am vastly different to everyone...

I simply reach for it from under the pillow or the bedside table, unwrap it and unfurl it onto my erect phallus. I haven't timed this procedure but I guess it takes 5 seconds.

I have no etiquette.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS 9 weeks ago

chichester


"If your Jonny is falling off during action u need a smaller Jonny or a thicker cock. I have never had a Jonny come off during sex. I have split a couple but they only slip off a pencil cock !!!"

They come off usually as some idiot generally tries to keep fucking after they have nutted and don’t allow for deflation of blood to thickness. Once you nut pull out and get washed off

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"I find it sexy watching you put one on, safe consensual sex is hot as fuck."

I never thought of that…..maybe i should ask, “do you want to do it or should i”?

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"I always apply the condom myself, as most women I've met aren't that good at it. They're usually too concerned with not hurting you, or they try and roll it from the top and it gets caught where the foreskin gathers under the helmet... Whatever, I've found it's way smoother when I do it - boom it's on in seconds and we're back at it with minimal awkwardness "

Very smooth Mr Chill and i like your style 👍

Maybe a thread asking the ladies of the forum if they struggle putting them on and if some do perhaps a few helpful pointers 🤔

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By *vaRose43Woman 9 weeks ago

Forest of Dean

Take it off afterwards and inflate it. Make balloon animals

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By *illy IdolMan 9 weeks ago

Midlands


"I suspect that I am vastly different to everyone...

I simply reach for it from under the pillow or the bedside table, unwrap it and unfurl it onto my erect phallus. I haven't timed this procedure but I guess it takes 5 seconds.

I have no etiquette."

5 seconds? Someone's been practicing in his spare time

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By *r John WickMan 9 weeks ago

The Continental


"Take it off afterwards and inflate it. Make balloon animals "

Or pop it over the head and inflate. Look like one of those Mars Attacks aliens.

That’s cool as fuck. There’s even some alien goo in there for realism.

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By *eroLondonMan 9 weeks ago

Covent Garden


"I suspect that I am vastly different to everyone...

I simply reach for it from under the pillow or the bedside table, unwrap it and unfurl it onto my erect phallus. I haven't timed this procedure but I guess it takes 5 seconds.

I have no etiquette.

·

5 seconds? Someone's been practicing in his spare time"

I have an average-sized pénìs; the sheath doesn't haven't to unfurl too far down. So, yes, 5️⃣ seconds is about right.

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By *illy IdolMan 9 weeks ago

Midlands


"I suspect that I am vastly different to everyone...

I simply reach for it from under the pillow or the bedside table, unwrap it and unfurl it onto my erect phallus. I haven't timed this procedure but I guess it takes 5 seconds.

I have no etiquette.

·

5 seconds? Someone's been practicing in his spare time

I have an average-sized pénìs; the sheath doesn't haven't to unfurl too far down. So, yes, 5️⃣ seconds is about right."

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By *herrybakewellCouple 9 weeks ago

Staffordshire

This will sound ridiculous but I'm ok with that....

Condoms....they're the part of swinging that I dread, such fiddly little fuckers. It also doesn't help that by the time a condom is needed I've taken my glasses off, so looking what is the correct way is a nightmare.

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By *erfHerder74Man 9 weeks ago

Greenock

Agree put it on and put it in right away, or put it on a minute before and masturbate

When removed the one who was bottom should deal with the tidying up and should clean the tops penis with mouth or wet wipe as he lays back to rest

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan 9 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

In the heat of sensual love making, I will remove my hand from hers and go to my jeans to pull out the condom. It will always be in the fourth jeans pocket after chewing gum, a post it note, a biro lid and a dog poo bag (unused) falls out onto her marble floor and starts rolling away.

I will then look for the easy tear piece, then pull out my rubbery friend. By now, after picking up the loose items in the floor my penis will need some attention, so a quick "do me a favour and suck my balls" request will come in.

With penis now hard I will put my fingers into the strange 'crab mandible' position and move them excitedly. After a few nano seconds it becomes blatantly obvious that I have actually attempted to put it on backwards (no, not the bollock end) and my penis will wilt again.

"Any chance of a hand job" comes the rallying cry.

The disappointed supermodel will have a look of frustration as she grabs my wiener and shuffles her wrist whilst looking around the room.

By then, if I have not cum from her 20 seconds of action I will turn the condom around and slide it on. I'll then ask her if she's ready for the best fuck of her life, position myself into position of the day and give her 4 to 5 pumps. Then it's over.

"Sorry, that's never happened before"

I'll then remove the condom from her because I failed to put it on well, then tie a knot in it and walk to the toilet and flush. I'll be stood there for 5 flushes trying to get rid of it and weigh it down with toilet paper too.

I will also try to take the opportunity to have a fart in there as no doubt I would've been holding one in for ages. I'd probably have to open my cheeks a little too so I'm not heard.

Pretty much that in a nutshell.

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Oh my days i needed this tonight it's made me properly chuckle once I'm randy i rarely remember so always tell who I'm with it's there job! "

Always makes me happy to make people chuckle

Isn’t that what Fab is all about unless it’s when you drop your boxers

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"I am at a loose end and deep in meditative thoughts.

It popped up in my tiny little brain, what is everyone’s etiquette when it comes to strapping it up?

I hate putting a condom on myself as it breaks the flow and i prefer it when the Lady slides it on for me (she can also check it’s safely on to her liking as well aa being sensual).

Pulling out, well holding onto to it is a given but do you tie it up or just wrap it in a tissue and throw it in the bin?

I have to admit a bit of both.

So good people of the forum and even you rogues what is your etiquette when it comes to dealing with your sheath?

When I used to put them on guys I used to do it with my mouth "

You are a Diamond, 💎

A few have been able to pull this one off and it ramps up the excitement for both of us!!

I must start another thread and please come on to share how you do it…..it will make a lot of people happy 😁

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"I am at a loose end and deep in meditative thoughts.

It popped up in my tiny little brain, what is everyone’s etiquette when it comes to strapping it up?

I hate putting a condom on myself as it breaks the flow and i prefer it when the Lady slides it on for me (she can also check it’s safely on to her liking as well aa being sensual).

Pulling out, well holding onto to it is a given but do you tie it up or just wrap it in a tissue and throw it in the bin?

I have to admit a bit of both.

So good people of the forum and even you rogues what is your etiquette when it comes to dealing with your sheath?

It takes me 20, maybe 30 seconds to put it on. I usually keep it "within reach" of the bed already, so I don't have to go rummage around for it.

Never had an issue staying "in the zone" during this operation. If anything, the anticipation of the upcoming insertion makes me more aroused.

When finished, I usually quickly excuse myself to the bathroom and dispose of it (tie it and wrap it in a tissue, or just the latter if I'm lazy), then I wash my hands and groin thoroughly."

A man with a plan, good to know there are so many responsible people on here.

Also it doesn’t get in the way of the flow or lessens the fun.

Let the good times roll and keep it clean (well safe and hygienic) 😉

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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago


"I am at a loose end and deep in meditative thoughts.

It popped up in my tiny little brain, what is everyone’s etiquette when it comes to strapping it up?

I hate putting a condom on myself as it breaks the flow and i prefer it when the Lady slides it on for me (she can also check it’s safely on to her liking as well aa being sensual).

Pulling out, well holding onto to it is a given but do you tie it up or just wrap it in a tissue and throw it in the bin?

I have to admit a bit of both.

So good people of the forum and even you rogues what is your etiquette when it comes to dealing with your sheath?

It takes me 20, maybe 30 seconds to put it on. I usually keep it "within reach" of the bed already, so I don't have to go rummage around for it.

Never had an issue staying "in the zone" during this operation. If anything, the anticipation of the upcoming insertion makes me more aroused.

When finished, I usually quickly excuse myself to the bathroom and dispose of it (tie it and wrap it in a tissue, or just the latter if I'm lazy), then I wash my hands and groin thoroughly.

A man with a plan, good to know there are so many responsible people on here.

Also it doesn’t get in the way of the flow or lessens the fun.

Let the good times roll and keep it clean (well safe and hygienic) 😉"

It's about having the plan, and then winging it.

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"I am at a loose end and deep in meditative thoughts.

It popped up in my tiny little brain, what is everyone’s etiquette when it comes to strapping it up?

I hate putting a condom on myself as it breaks the flow and i prefer it when the Lady slides it on for me (she can also check it’s safely on to her liking as well aa being sensual).

Pulling out, well holding onto to it is a given but do you tie it up or just wrap it in a tissue and throw it in the bin?

I have to admit a bit of both.

So good people of the forum and even you rogues what is your etiquette when it comes to dealing with your sheath?

It takes me 20, maybe 30 seconds to put it on. I usually keep it "within reach" of the bed already, so I don't have to go rummage around for it.

Never had an issue staying "in the zone" during this operation. If anything, the anticipation of the upcoming insertion makes me more aroused.

When finished, I usually quickly excuse myself to the bathroom and dispose of it (tie it and wrap it in a tissue, or just the latter if I'm lazy), then I wash my hands and groin thoroughly.

A man with a plan, good to know there are so many responsible people on here.

Also it doesn’t get in the way of the flow or lessens the fun.

Let the good times roll and keep it clean (well safe and hygienic) 😉

It's about having the plan, and then winging it.

"

Exactly my thoughts, birds of a feather my friend

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"The mouth thing used to be fun. You have me feeling nostalgic! "

Yaaay another one who can do the mouth trick!!

It’s good to know it’s not a dying art although you used the word nostalgia!!

Does that mean you haven’t done it in a while?

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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago


"The mouth thing used to be fun. You have me feeling nostalgic!

Yaaay another one who can do the mouth trick!!

It’s good to know it’s not a dying art although you used the word nostalgia!!

Does that mean you haven’t done it in a while?"

One of those things, like anal sex, that's largely a wasted skill. One meets a few people who are super impressed with it but most don't see the point. And I can't really blame them

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Quick rip and roll-on, rumpy-pump and a squirt, pull out, squeeze it over their back/tits/nostrils, and a final twang onto the curtains/window to see if it sticks.

It's like a silent witness to what went before - has a profound psychological post-coital effect.

The ladies love it, obvs ."

Forensics would have a field day with that black light they use!!

I can see you’re a romantic straight from the pages of Mills and Boon

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Take it off afterwards and inflate it. Make balloon animals "

Now that could get very messy especially as I have a beard 😳

Imagine if it burst a hose down would be needed 😂

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By *enrietteandSamCouple 9 weeks ago

Staffordshire

“Sometimes I like to get them to put it on with their bum…… Back into it”

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Take it off afterwards and inflate it. Make balloon animals

Or pop it over the head and inflate. Look like one of those Mars Attacks aliens.

That’s cool as fuck. There’s even some alien goo in there for realism. "

Looks like you have just invented a new genre of Porn Mr Wick 😂

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"“Sometimes I like to get them to put it on with their bum…… Back into it”"

Do you make a beep beep beep noise as you do? 😂😂

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By *opinovMan 9 weeks ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria


"When I used to put them on guys I used to do it with my mouth "

Like the teacher did in South Park?

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By *hrista BellendWoman 9 weeks ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

He always puts it on, I'm clumsy and heavy handed and break them

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"He always puts it on, I'm clumsy and heavy handed and break them "

From what has been said it can be a turn on watching a guy glove up!!

At least you’re honest, you’re clumsy with a condom but can balance a candle on your bum!!

God gives with one hand and takes away with another

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By *orthern BeardMan 9 weeks ago

Lancashire

You’ll only let a woman let go of it like an elastic band on your cock before you do it yourself

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man 9 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"You’ll only let a woman let go of it like an elastic band on your cock before you do it yourself "

For some reason i had a thought of it flying around the room like a balloon when you loose your grip on it blowing it up!!

Better than stapling it on i suppose 😂😂

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